Not Over You
by erm31323
Summary: The arrival of Catherine's daughter's Hogwarts letter brings up a slew of memories Catherine thought were long buried. Most about one Sirius Black. Set during POA with flashbacks to the Marauder's Era, what happens when Catherine tries to reintroduce herself to the wizarding world? Follows canon events of POA.
1. The Letter

**A/N - Hello all! Finally ready to post this new story! While it isn't my first fanfic, it is my first HP story. I said I was going to wait to start posting it until it was finished, but it has taken on a life of its own (surprise, surprise) and gotten much longer than I thought it would be, so I may break it into two. Regardless, I have a huge chunk of it done and my plan for now is to post on Tuesdays and Fridays and if all continues to go well, I should be able to keep up with that schedule.**

**This is a story with an original character, well quite a few actually, and fair warning, the majority of the story is about her. I know that some people are not fond of original characters, so if you choose to stop reading now, I will not be offended. :) Never fear however, there will be plenty of our favorite characters as well, but the plot does focus on my original character(s) and her life. There is a dual story line, one is set during POA that will follow canon events of that story and the other is set during the Marauder Era and a bit beyond and will be told in flashbacks, mostly from Catherine's point of view. I have put in the date whenever I switch between timelines, and my sister, who has read the first few chapters, assures me it is not confusing, so I hope you feel the same. It will be mainly an angsty romance, those that have read my other stories will not be surprised by this ;), but there will also be plenty of drama, family interaction and a bit of humor as well.**

**The story title is taken from the Gavin DeGraw song of the same name. Now that my a/n is long enough, I hope you all read and enjoy and please let me know what you think! **

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to JK Rowling, not me. **

**July 1993**

Catherine held the thick, creamy envelope in her hand and tucked a lock of curly brown hair behind her ear. She ran a finger over the elegant green script and smiled. Although it had been 20 years since she had received her own letter, she hadn't forgotten the smell of new parchment or Professor McGonagall's handwriting. It had been the Professor herself who had delivered Catherine's letter, all those years ago. Catherine and her parents had sat in stunned disbelief as the Professor had explained who she was and where she was from. But once she had offered Catherine her place at Hogwarts, there had been no more need for discussion, as far as Catherine was concerned. She remembered how excited she had been and how she had wanted to leave for school that very second. Her father had seen it differently, however, and had asked questions for more than an hour before he finally, albeit begrudgingly, accepted that Professor McGonagall was who she said she was.

Not that his acceptance meant that he wanted his only child to attend Hogwarts, not by any stretch of the imagination. It took days of arguments, discussion and pleading for him to give in. And even when he had, he still wanted little to do with it all. He refused to go with Catherine and her mother to Diagon Alley to get her supplies and conveniently something came up at work the day she had to be at King's Cross. Catherine declined to let his attitude dampen her enthusiasm, however, and she could still remember that day is if it had happened only months ago instead of years.

* * *

**1 September 1973**

Catherine stood in King's Cross station looking nervously at the barrier between platforms 9 and 10. Professor McGonagall had explained how to get through to platform 9 ¾, but Catherine was having a hard time plucking up the courage to do so. She looked back at her mother, who smiled encouragingly. She took a deep breath and squared her shoulders, but before she could actually begin to push her trolley toward the brick wall, there was a loud commotion to her right.

Catherine turned and saw a woman and three girls approaching, all with trunks and the oldest with an owl, on trolleys. The youngest girl looked to be around Catherine's age and as Catherine continued to watch them, the girl caught her eye and gave Catherine a wide smile. The woman, not having noticed Catherine, stopped near the barrier and surreptitiously looked around. She then motioned toward the older two and they took off at a run toward the wall, vanishing through it, one after the other, a second later. Catherine's mouth hung open at the sight. While she knew what was supposed to happen, actually seeing it was another thing all together. The woman then took the youngest girl's hand and began to walk rapidly toward the barrier herself, when the girl stopped her and said something, then pointed toward Catherine.

The woman looked up and smiled as she saw Catherine's trunk and owl sitting on her trolley. The girl ran toward Catherine and her mother approached Jane, Catherine's mother.

"Hogwarts too?" the girl asked and Catherine nodded. "First time?" the girl said and Catherine nodded again. "Are you a muggle-born?"

"What's that?" Catherine asked.

"Someone who doesn't have magical parents," the girl replied.

"Oh, then yes," Catherine said.

"I'm Myra MacKenzie," the girl said, smiling.

"Catherine Powell," Catherine replied, returning the smile. Just then Myra's mother came up behind them.

"Come along Myra, your sisters will wonder where we've gotten to," Mrs. MacKenzie said. "Catherine, I've just been talking to your mother and we'll get you settled on the train if you like." Catherine nodded, then went and hugged her mother one more time. "All right girls, let's go." Mrs. MacKenzie herded the two girls back toward the barrier and Myra looked at Catherine once more before turning and running through the barrier.

"Go ahead now," Mrs. MacKenzie said to Catherine. "It will be all right." Catherine turned and ran toward the barrier. When she reached the other side, she smiled, pleased with herself that she had done it. Before she had time to contemplate this, however, Myra ran up to her and took her hand.

"Come on," she said. "Let's get on or we won't be able to find a seat together." Catherine laughed at the enthusiasm of her new friend. Myra dragged her toward two older girls that looked a lot like her, as her mother came through the barrier and followed quickly behind them.

"These are my sisters, Maggie and Maureen," Myra said, pointing to the two girls in turn. "Maggie's a fourth year and Maureen's a sixth. She's a prefect."

"Prefect?" Catherine asked confused.

"I'll explain later," Myra said. "Come on!" She began to drag Catherine toward the train only to be stopped by her mother's hand on her arm. "Mu-um," Myra whined. "All the good spots will be taken."

"Oh nonsense, Myra," her mother clucked her tongue at her. "There's plenty of room for everyone." Myra rolled her eyes as Catherine giggled. After a few last minute instructions and hugs and kisses for her girls, Mrs. MacKenzie finally allowed them to get on the train. Myra dragged Catherine by the hand to an empty compartment near the end of the train.

As the two girls settled into seats, Myra began to chatter away about Hogwarts and magic in general. Catherine didn't have to say much, she simply listened and nodded here and there to let Myra know she was still listening. And by the time they had reached Hogsmeade, Catherine felt like she knew all there was to know, and then some, about the inner workings of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. As they reached the station, Myra and Catherine moved into the corridor to exit the train. It was crowded and Catherine was jostled and pushed as more students poured out of compartments and surged onto the platform. Just as she reached the steps of the car, she was bumped from behind and tripped, falling headlong into the person in front of her.

"Whoa there," a boy said as he gripped her arms to keep her from pitching headfirst out of the train car. As she regained her balance, Catherine looked up into gray eyes. The boy smiled at her and made sure she was steady before he let go of her arms.

"S-sorry," she managed to stutter out, feeling her face redden.

"No harm done," the boy said, smiling at her and flicking a strand of black hair from his eyes. "It gets a bit bonkers around here when everyone's trying to get off."

"Oy, Sirius," another boy with rather messy black hair yelled from the platform. "Come on!"

"All right then?" he asked, looking at her once more.

"Yes, thanks," Catherine replied and Sirius nodded and jumped down the stairs to the platform. Catherine started down, looking round for Myra and finally spotted her at the bottom of the steps, apparently waiting for Catherine. The two followed the crowd of first years making their way toward the most enormous man Catherine had ever seen. She didn't have long to gape at him, however, as they were herded onto a fleet of small boats. To Catherine's surprise, the boats seemed to actually make their way under the castle and after they disembarked, the children climbed a flight of stairs to be greeted by Professor McGonagall. The woman gave Catherine a small smile as she walked past and she led them into a small room and told them to wait.

Catherine, knowing from Myra that the sorting ceremony was coming next, stood contemplating which house she thought she might be placed in. Myra had told her about all four and Catherine rather doubted she would be put in Slytherin, being muggle-born and all, not to mention that fact that she'd never considered herself particularly concerned about power or prestige. The other three all sounded fine to Catherine, although she was a bit drawn to Ravenclaw as she had always loved reading and school and had done very well there and logical thinking was her forte. Myra's older sister Maureen was a Ravenclaw and Maggie was in Hufflepuff. Myra didn't seem to have much of a preference either way, but Catherine did hope that the two of them ended up together.

They shuffled into the Great Hall in a line and Catherine couldn't help but stare. Myra had told her about the ceiling, but it was still a shock to see the star-filled sky and the crescent moon and realize it wasn't really the night sky she was seeing, but a charm. Professor McGonagall took out a scroll and called the first name. The students sat, one by one, on the stool in front of a table of what looked like teachers, and put on a rather patched old hat which actually called out the name of their house from a rip near the brim. When it was Myra's turn, the hat shouted out Ravenclaw as soon as the Professor had placed it on her head. Myra smiled and waved to Catherine as she took her place at her house table.

When it was finally Catherine's turn, she was rather nervous as she sat down. Just before the professor placed the hat on her head, she caught sight of the boy who had helped her on the train. He smiled and winked at her and then the hat was on her head and slid down a bit over her eyes. It took the hat a few seconds to decide, but finally called out Ravenclaw as well and Catherine smiled as she made her way to the table and sat down next to her new friend. She looked back to the boy from the train, Sirius, and saw that he was applauding politely and smiling at her. She looked at him for another second until Myra grabbed her arm to tell her something. When she turned back, Sirius was no longer looking at her, but laughing with his friends. He punched the other black-haired boy in the arm good naturedly and two boys across from them began to laugh. She turned away from their table then and back to Myra as the girl poked her again.

"Who are you looking at?" Myra asked, looking curiously to the Gryffindor table.

"No one," Catherine said quickly, but Myra only raised her eyebrows. "It's just the boy who helped me on the train when I tripped."

"Which one?" Myra asked, craning her neck and rising a little from the bench.

"Myra!" Catherine exclaimed, pulling on her friend.

"What?" Myra asked, looking confused.

"Don't make a scene," Catherine whispered. "It's the boy at the end of the Gryffindor table. The one with the black hair."

"The messy hair?" Myra inquired.

"No, the other one," Catherine said. "His name is Sirius, I think." Myra looked again and then nodded. She turned to her sister who she was sitting next to and pointed out Sirius, then asked her something that Catherine couldn't hear.

"Sirius Black?" Maureen said, wrinkling her nose. "He's a third year and a bit of a prat, actually. He and his friends fancy themselves practical jokers. They're always playing all these ridiculous pranks on people, mostly Slytherins, but still. I'd stay away from him if I were you."

"Catherine fancies him," Myra said smiling.

"I do not!" Catherine insisted as Myra began to laugh. "He just helped me on the train, that's all." Maureen shrugged and went back to talking with her friends, as Myra began to giggle.

"Myra," Catherine hissed. "Stop it."

"Sorry," Myra said, bringing her laughter under control. Catherine glared at her for another minute before she went back to her dinner. When the feast was over and Catherine and Myra followed Maureen into the Ravenclaw common room, all thoughts of Sirius Black left her mind as Catherine climbed the stairs to her dormitory and fell into her bed. She was still excited, but exhausted as well, and fell asleep with a smile on her lips, dreaming of everything she would experience in the next seven years.

* * *

**July 1993 **

Somehow, Catherine sighed, she didn't think Ellie was going to feel the same.

Ellie had been sheltered from the magical world for much of her life. All of her children had. It wasn't until a few years ago that they had any idea that their mother was a witch at all, and even afterward, Catherine hadn't really insinuated herself back into that world.

"Too long spent out of it, I suppose," she mused as she gently tapped the envelope against the edge of the table.

"Too long spent out of what?" her mother asked, as she stepped into the kitchen. Catherine wordlessly handed her mother the envelope and before the other woman even saw the writing on the front she smiled.

"Ellie's got her letter then," her mother said and Catherine nodded. She turned and crossed her arms in front of her, looking out the kitchen window into the garden beyond. "What is it Catherine?" he mother asked, putting a hand to her daughter's arm.

"I just don't think Ellie is going to be all that eager to go," Catherine replied, shrugging her shoulders. "Not like I was anyway."

"You don't know that," her mother said, squeezing her arm gently. Catherine turned back to face her, a melancholy expression on her face.

"She still blames me, Mum," Catherine said. "For her father. I don't think she'll want anything to do with it." She felt the tears gather in her eyes and Catherine quickly turned away. Her mother felt guilty enough for everything that had happened back then, Catherine didn't need to make her feel more so.

"You know that's not true," Jane said, wrapping her arms around her daughter. "She doesn't blame you, not really. Besides, it was as much your father's and my fault. We shouldn't have," but Catherine interrupted her.

"Please, I don't want to have this conversation again, not now," Catherine replied, pulling away from her mother.

"I know that Catherine, but you do know that I'm sorry," Jane said over her daughter's protests. "And if I could go back and do things differently," she trailed off, shaking her head.

"Mum, please. It's over and done with, you can't change it and I really don't want to talk about it anymore," Catherine said, feeling her emotions beginning to get the best of her. Jane seemed to sense this too, for she simply nodded and said nothing more on the subject.

"Are you going to open it?" Jane asked, indicating the letter.

"No," Catherine replied. "It's not addressed to me. I'll just wait until she gets home from swimming."

"All right, well, I have to run to the market. I need to pick up some things for the Richardson boy's birthday cake. Do you need anything?" Jane asked.

"No," Catherine said, staring at the table where her mother had set the letter. Jane looked at her daughter for another second, then crossed the room to her and gave her another hug.

"Everything is going to be fine," Jane said quietly. "You'll see." Catherine hugged her back, squeezing her mother tightly, before letting go. Jane patted her cheek gently and then picked up her handbag and left the house.

Catherine glanced down at the letter one more time before she turned back to the trousers she had been in the process of shortening when the owl came. It would do no good to worry about Ellie's reaction now, she might as well finish her work and deal with whatever happened later.

* * *

When the children arrived home from their swimming lessons, dropped off by the neighbor with whom Catherine took turns driving, it was the usual mad dash to the kitchen for snacks and sweets. Catherine shook her head, smiling. She always chuckled at the ravenous appetite an hour of swimming lessons seemed to produce. It was as if they hadn't eaten in days, the way they attacked the refrigerator and cupboards when they got home. Once they had all been properly fed, Catherine sent Rory and Miranda outside to play and asked Ellie to sit down at the table with her.

"You got something in the post today," Catherine said, handing Ellie the envelope. Ellie took it and read the front, frowning. She looked up at her mother, confusion on her face.

"Where's the stamp?" she asked, pointing to the corner of the envelope.

"Sorry?" Catherine asked, confused herself.

"You said it came in the post," Ellie repeated. "Where's the stamp?" Catherine sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Different kind of post," she said and Ellie's frown got deeper. "Just open it Ellie."

Ellie turned the envelope over and her brow furrowed at the wax seal on the back. She looked up at her mother again, who simply gave a nod of her head, indicating that Ellie should continue. Ellie stuck a finger under the seal and broke it, pulling the envelope open and taking out the pieces of parchment inside. Catherine waited with bated breath while Ellie read the letter, her frown changing to a look of surprise and then shock as she reached the end. She looked up at her mother for a brief second before turning to the second page and looking over the list of books and materials required. She then set the letter down and gave her mothering a withering glare. With her long blonde hair, blue eyes and the look of derision on her face, Ellie looked so much like her father, Catherine's breath caught in her throat.

"Well, I'm not going, obviously," Ellie said stuffing the letter and list back into the envelope and pushing it back to her mother. While Catherine had been expecting this reaction, it still disappointed her a bit and she stared at her daughter for a moment before she recovered herself.

"And why not?" Catherine asked. Ellie rolled her eyes at her mother as if she were completely daft.

"Please Mother," Ellie said. "Why on earth would I want to go to some stupid magic school?" Catherine took a deep breath, willing herself to remain calm.

"I think that we should talk about this, before we make a decision," Catherine replied softly.

"There's nothing to talk about," Ellie said. "The whole thing is ridiculous. Cauldrons, wands, robes." She shook her head disdainfully and wrinkled her nose.

"Ellie, this is a part of who you are," Catherine said, choosing her words carefully. "You know that, you know the things that you've done. The things that I can do. It's important to learn how to control your magic. Hogwarts teaches you that."

"I don't want to control my magic," Ellie shouted, standing from the table. "I don't even want to have magic! I'm not going!" Catherine stood as well, her temper reaching its boiling point.

"Eleanor Catherine, you are a witch, whether you like it or not!" she yelled. "It's who you are and you can't turn your back on that, you can't wish it or will it away."

"Why not?" Ellie demanded. "You did!" And with that, she turned and ran from the room, her feet pounding up the stairs. As she made her exit, a glass of milk on the table shattered, the liquid quickly soaking everything in its path. Catherine grabbed the Hogwarts letter just before the milk reached it and sat down heavily in her chair. Ignoring the milk which slowly began to drip into her lap, she put her head in her hands, hot tears flowing down her cheeks. Because what Ellie said was true and Catherine had ruined everything because of it.

* * *

About a half hour later, Jane came into the kitchen, her arms laden with shopping bags from the market. She set them down on the counter and turned to her daughter who was sitting at the kitchen table. Catherine sat as if in a trance, staring out the door to the garden, her eyes unseeing. Jane looked to the envelope she held in her head and then saw the puddle of milk all over the table.

"Catherine, what on earth?" Jane exclaimed as she grabbed a rag and went to wipe the milk up. When she reached the table, she stepped on something which crunched under her shoe and she looked down to see shards of glass all over the floor. She tried to avoid the mess as she quickly cleaned up the puddle. Catherine didn't seem to notice her presence, just continued to stare at the door. After the milk was gone, Jane went to the cupboard for a broom and swept up the pieces of glass from the floor. Catherine still hadn't moved and Jane bit her lower lip in concern. Catherine's posture and the dead look in her eyes reminded her very much of that day Jane had come to the house after Ellie's school had called, wondering where the little girl was. Jane took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She would not let this happen again.

"Catherine," Jane said as she stepped back to the table, but her daughter didn't acknowledge her. "Catherine," Jane repeated a bit louder and put her hand on the other woman's shoulder. Catherine flinched then and turned to her mother and that was when Jane saw the blood.

"Catherine, you're bleeding!" Jane exclaimed as Catherine's eyes narrowed slightly, her hand coming absent-mindedly up to her cheek. She pulled it away and saw the blood on her fingers.

"Must have been from the glass," she said, almost as an afterthought, as Jane went and got a clean cloth from a drawer. Jane brought it back and pressed it to Catherine's cheek, then wiped away the blood that had run down her face and neck.

"And you didn't even notice that you were bleeding everywhere or that there was milk all over the table?" Jane asked irritated now. Catherine just shrugged and Jane shook her head, taking the cloth from her face. "It's stopped bleeding now. It's just a small cut, you should be fine." She sat down at the table and took her daughter's hands in hers.

"Now, tell me what happened," Jane said. Catherine looked at her and blinked once, then twice, some life finally seeming to return to her eyes.

"Just what I thought would happen," Catherine said, a wry smile on her face. "I showed Ellie the letter, she refused to go, we had a row and she turned my words back around on me. Quite accurately too, I might add."

Jane looked at Catherine. Her daughter and granddaughter were very similar in personality, although both were loath to admit it. And Ellie was far too mature for her own good. That the two hadn't pulled the entire house down around them with the force of their arguments truly surprised Jane at times. She supposed she should be grateful it was only a glass of milk this time. The day Ellie had blown out the window in the kitchen had been a completely different story. That had been an interesting one to try and explain to the neighbors. Jane chuckled in spite of herself and Catherine glanced at her sharply.

"Care to tell me what you find amusing about this situation?" she asked, quirking an eyebrow at her mother.

"Nothing dear, I'm sorry," Jane replied. "I'm just glad it was only a glass." Catherine looked at her and couldn't help smirking.

"Yes, I suppose having all the windows in the house suddenly explode would be a little hard to explain," she said, grinning now. "Exactly why she needs to go to Hogwarts." Her mood turned somber again.

"What did she say to you exactly?" Jane asked and Catherine sighed.

"Let's see, magic was stupid, ridiculous, she didn't want it and she wasn't going," Catherine ticked off the comments on her fingers. "And that if I could turn my back on what I was, she could too." Jane winced at the last, knowing this was the thing that was really bothering Catherine. Of course, Jane was almost as much to blame for that as Catherine was. "She still blames me Mum, I know she does."

Jane reached across the table and took her daughter's hand. How she wished things could be different, that she could go back and do it all again. She would do things the way she wanted to, no matter what Thomas said.

"She just misses the idea of him, Catherine," Jane said quietly. "She knows what he did, but he's not here and she can't blame him, so she turns to you instead. She doesn't truly blame you."

"I think she blames me for being what I am," Catherine replied. "She blames me that she's a witch."

"Well, there's nothing she can do about that," Jane said firmly. "We just need to talk to her. She'll accept it eventually."

"Maybe," Catherine said, sighing.

"You know how much she loves to learn," Jane continued. "We'll approach it that way, talk to her about all the things she could never learn anywhere else besides Hogwarts."

"True, she would love Arithmancy and probably Ancient Runes as well," Catherine said, sitting up a bit straighter in her chair. "Although those don't come until third year, but Potions and Herbology she'll have right away. Those are less about spells and wands than the others."

"See, we'll appeal to her intellectual nature," Jane said, smiling. "She won't be able to resist."

"Why do you have to be so bloody optimistic all the time?" Catherine asked, scowl on her face but enough light in her eyes that Jane knew she was only teasing.

"It's a tough job," Jane said dramatically. "But one of us has to do it." Catherine snorted in laughter and shook her head as the door from the garden burst open and she was pounced on by her two younger children.

* * *

Ellie remained in her room the rest of the afternoon and through dinner. Catherine made up a tray once they had finished eating and was taking it up to her daughter. She promised herself that she would remain calm, no matter what Ellie said. You've made that promise before, a little voice in her head said.

"Oh shut up," she muttered as she reached the top of the stairs. She turned and knocked on Ellie's door, but received no response.

"Ellie, it's Mum," she called out. "I've brought you some dinner."

"I'm not hungry," Catherine heard from inside the room. "Go away."

"Please, El," Catherine said. "Let's talk about this." She waited for a few moments, but heard nothing else from Ellie. Catherine sighed and turned to take the food back to the kitchen when she heard a small click behind her and the door opened. She turned back and stepped inside her daughter's room. She set the tray on the desk and then crossed to the bed where Ellie lay facing the wall. Catherine sat down on the edge, putting a hand on Ellie's arm. She gently turned the girl toward her and saw that she was crying.

"Oh, Ellie-belle," she said, tears forming in her own eyes. She opened up her arms and Ellie jumped into them, wrapping her arms around her mother's neck and burying her face in her shoulder. Catherine gently rocked back and forth, rubbing her daughter's back until she quieted. When Ellie pulled back from her, Catherine wiped the remaining tears on her cheeks with her thumbs, as Ellie sniffled.

"Do you want to tell me what this is all about?" Catherine asked. Ellie just shrugged and looked away. "Is this about your father?" Ellie's head snapped around and she looked at her mother for the quickest of seconds before she looked down at her lap and began to pick at the cuticle on her thumb. She shrugged again and Catherine knew she had guessed correctly.

"Ellie, you know that no matter what you do, no matter what any of us does, that he's not coming back, don't you?" Catherine asked gently, but Ellie said nothing. "Sweetheart," Catherine put her hand to Ellie's chin and tilted the girl's head up so she was looking at her. "You know that right?" Ellie's lip began to tremble and Catherine thought she would burst into tears again, but instead, she pulled in a deep breath and looked defiantly at her mother.

"You don't know that," Ellie said. "If I'm not a witch, he might come back."

"But you _are_ a witch Ellie," Catherine said.

"Not yet I'm not," Ellie insisted and looked back down at her hands.

"But if you go to Hogwarts, then you will be, right?" Catherine said, understanding now. Ellie just shrugged again. "Ellie look at me please," Catherine said, waiting until her daughter raised her head once again.

"I know I've said this to you before and I can't make you believe it, but I'm going to tell you again anyway," Catherine began. "Your father is not going to come back. He made that very plain to me the last time we spoke. And I know that you might not remember everything that happened while you were with him." At this Catherine stopped, as Ellie had mumbled something. "What was that?"

"I said, I remember," Ellie repeated a bit louder now. "I remember everything he did and everything he said. And what he said about me staying with him, what we had to do if we wanted to stay with him. I remember what I did too." Catherine's ire rose as she thought about what her ex-husband had put her two oldest children through, not to mention herself, and she wanted nothing more than to hunt him down and show him what a few choice hexes could do. But she forced herself to breathe, to push those memories aside for the moment and focus instead on Ellie.

"That's my point, sweetheart," Catherine continued. "Your father wants you to change who you are, the basic core of yourself, in order for him to love you. It would be like asking you to change the color of your eyes or your height or your intelligence. You shouldn't have to do that, he should accept you for who you are."

"You did it," Ellie retorted.

"I tried to do it," Catherine corrected. "And as we can all see, I failed miserably. I made a terrible mistake, I should have told your father from the beginning. But I was scared and I was lonely and hurting inside. And your father helped take that away. So I was selfish and I kept quiet and I hid things from him. I was wrong but so was he by expecting me, expecting you, to keep doing it once he found out." Ellie sat in silence and if Catherine hadn't known her better, she might have thought her daughter was ignoring her. But Catherine knew she was processing everything, thinking about all that her mother had said.

"Please just promise me one thing," Catherine said after a few minutes of silence.

"What?" Ellie asked looking up.

"Please don't decide whether you want to go to Hogwarts or not, based on something your father said," Catherine replied. "Don't let him continue to rule your life like that." Ellie looked at her and then nodded. Catherine pulled her into another hug.

"I love you Ellie-bell" she said, kissing the top of her daughter's head.

"I love you too Mum," Ellie replied. "And don't call me Ellie-bell." Catherine chuckled and stood from the bed.

"Now let's go downstairs and warm up this dinner," Catherine said, putting an arm around Ellie as she stood. Ellie smiled and picked up the tray, following her mother down the stairs.

* * *

**A/N2 - I know some people have first-years get their letters on their 11th birthdays, but even Harry got his first letter a few days before his actual birthday and having Ellie get hers in July worked better for my storyline. :)**


	2. Decisions Made

**A/N - Here you are, Chapter 2. Thanks to all who have read and put this story on alert! If you have a minute, let me know what you think. **

**Chapter 2**

**Decisions Made**

The next day, Rory and Miranda were left with the neighbors and Jane and Catherine took Ellie out for lunch. Catherine figured being in a public place could only help keep Ellie from losing control and the presence of her mother would help that as well.

After the waiter had brought their food, Catherine turned to Ellie.

"So, have you thought anymore about Hogwarts?" Catherine asked and Ellie rolled her eyes.

"Very subtle Mum," she said, as Jane chuckled. "I don't think I want to go. And it's _not_ about Daddy."

"All right, why don't you want to go then?" Catherine asked. Ellie shrugged her shoulders and took another bite of her food.

"I don't know," she said after she finished chewing. "I just don't see the use in it, I guess. I mean you've gotten by all right without it and so has Grandma."

"Well, I don't exactly have a choice in that, dear," Jane replied.

"I know, but Mum does," Ellie said. Catherine opened her mouth to speak, but Jane held up a hand.

"Ellie, your mum didn't have much of a choice either," Jane said. "You know that your grandfather and I forced her to leave Hogwarts. If we hadn't, I'm sure that things would have turned out very differently."

"Maybe, but she never went back," Ellie pointed out. "She could have, when she was an adult, but she didn't."

"That's true," Jane agreed, "but there were extenuating circumstances that you don't know about."

"What extenuating circumstances?" Ellie asked looking confused. Jane looked to Catherine who shook her head slightly. She wasn't ready to have this conversation. Not with her 11 year-old daughter. No matter how mature she might act, she was still a little girl.

"It's nothing you need to concern yourself with right now," Catherine replied. "Maybe if I tell you a bit about the classes?" Ellie shrugged again, but Catherine caught the flicker of interest in her eyes. Catherine smiled inwardly and proceeded to explain the curriculum of the first few years at Hogwarts to her daughter. By the time she had finished, Ellie was asking question after question, some of which even Catherine had no answer for. They had finished their lunch by this point and as they left the restaurant, Ellie turned to her mother.

"Do you think you could show me a few spells when we get home?" she asked. "I mean, just so I have a better idea about how it all works." Catherine smiled at her.

"Of course," she replied. "I think I remember a few."

* * *

Catherine decided let a few days pass before she approached the subject of Hogwarts with Ellie again. Ellie had been fascinated by the spells her mother showed her, although she tried very hard to hide it. Catherine couldn't help smirking when Ellie has asked her to turn the teacup into a mouse again and again, although it had caused a little stab of pain to her heart each time. Ellie asked so many questions about how the spell worked and why it did, that Catherine smiled, thinking that if her daughter did go to Hogwarts, she would almost certainly end up in Ravenclaw as well. And her questions about the spells and how they worked brought a smile to Catherine's face. She wondered how Myra and Maureen had been able to stand her constant questioning.

**April 1974**

"But, why though?" Catherine asked again as Myra rolled her eyes. "I mean, when am I going to need either a mouse or a snuffbox so badly that I need to change one to the other? And how does it work? Earlier this year changing the match to the needle I understood, they were both inanimate objects, both useful things that you might actually need at some point, it made sense. But this is changing a living thing into a non-living thing. I don't get it. How is it possible?" Myra sighed.

"Magic, okay," she replied as they reached the door to the common room. "It's just magic."

"Myra, you know that's not an answer," Catherine huffed.

"Sure it's an answer," Myra said, after answering the door knocker's query of the day. "It's just not the answer you want."

"Yes, but," Catherine began, but Myra cut her off as she spotted her sister Maureen in the common room. Myra took Catherine by the arm and dragged her over to where Maureen and her friends were sitting.

"Ask her," Myra said, pointing to Maureen.

"Ask me what?" Maureen asked, looking up at the two curiously.

"Catherine doesn't understand Transfiguration," Myra said, flopping down in a chair beside her sister. "And she's driving me bloody barmy with all her questions, most of which I don't know the answers to. So you explain it to her." Myra leaned her head back against the chair and closed her eyes.

"Myra, language!" Maureen exclaimed. Myra opened one eye and managed to roll it at her sister, making Catherine giggle. "What exactly did you want to know Catherine?" Maureen asked, moving down on the sofa so Catherine could sit down.

"Well, we've started working on turning mice into snuffboxes and I just don't understand the reason for it," Catherine began and was soon in a very animated discussion with the sixth year about the theory behind Transfiguration and how and why it worked. Myra watched the two of them for a bit, her eyes darting back and forth as if she were watching a tennis match, before finally shaking her head and pulling her Charms homework from her bag.

Almost an hour later, Catherine still didn't completely understand the reasoning behind the transformation they were currently working on, but she at least understood the theory better. And Maureen had explained some of the higher level spells they would cover, such as vanishing spells and conjuring items, which Catherine was very much looking forward to. She still felt as if the mouse and the snuffbox were a bit ridiculous, but was willing to accept that it was all the means to an end. Still, it seemed to Catherine that they could change their mouse into something more useful. When was she ever going to need a snuffbox? She shrugged and turned to Myra once Maureen and her friends had left. Her friend was busily writing out her Charms essay that Professor Flitwick had assigned the day before and Catherine reached into her bag to pull hers out as well.

* * *

**July 1993**

Catherine smiled ruefully, a dull ache in her chest as she thought about the friend she hadn't spoken to in years. She wondered just where Myra was and if she had gone and married Ian, whom she had been dating when Catherine had last seen her. The Hufflepuff had seemed more than smitten with Myra and Catherine knew the feeling had been mutual. She was shaken out of her reverie by a small voice calling her name.

"Mummy!" Miranda called again and Catherine got up from her sewing and walked to the stairs. Her daughter was standing on the upstairs landing, lower lip stuck out in a pout and arms crossed in front of her.

"What is it sweetheart?" Catherine asked, biting her cheek to keep from laughing at the expression on the 6 year olds face.

"Rory is making my panda fly again and he won't give it back," Miranda answered, stomping her small foot in emphasis. Catherine sighed. Rory was always making things fly or float. It was the first bit of accidental magic he had ever done, but over the years, he seemed to have developed a knack for it, using it to annoy his sisters, especially Miranda.

Catherine climbed the stairs and headed to her son's room, irritation plain on her face. When she opened his door, Rory was lying on his bed, a look on concentration on his face as the stuffed panda floated in the air above him.

"Rory Thomas, just **what** do you think you're doing?" Catherine said loudly. Rory startled and the panda fell onto his chest as he turned toward his mother. He sat up quickly, shoving the panda behind his back.

"Nothing," he said innocently, turning his large brown eyes on her. Of all three of her children, Rory was the only one who had followed her in looks. Both girls were blonde and blue-eyed like their father, although Miranda had gotten her mother's curls. Rory's brown eyes and chestnut colored hair were the same shade as his mother's, however. When he was a toddler, it had even been curly, but his father had forced her to cut it when Rory had been mistaken for a girl one too many times. She still missed those baby fine curls on the back of his head.

"Don't tell me nothing," Catherine growled as she reached around and snatched the panda from behind his back. She handed it to Miranda who hugged the bear happily and skipped from the room. "What have I told you about doing that?" She crossed her arms in front of her and glared at her son.

"But, you told me it wasn't bad to use magic," Rory protested. Catherine sighed and shook her head.

"It's not bad to use magic," Catherine replied. "Unless you are only doing it to annoy your sister, which you are." Her mouth set in a firm line, Catherine continued to glare at her son until he looked away.

"Sorry, Mum," he mumbled. Catherine sighed and sank down onto the bed next to him.

"What _am_ I going to do with you?" she asked, exasperated.

"I just wanted to practice," Rory said. "For when I get my own letter."

"That's still two years away, Rory," Catherine replied. "And teasing your sister is not the way to practice."

"I wish it was now," Rory pouted. "Why does Ellie have to be the oldest? She doesn't even want to go." Catherine looked at him, wondering if he knew something that she didn't. She knew that for all their protests against it, Ellie and Rory were rather close.

"Has Ellie been talking to you about Hogwarts?" Catherine asked.

"Not really," Rory shrugged. "I just heard her talking to Grandma yesterday."

"What about?" Catherine questioned, trying to sound matter-of-fact. Rory shrugged again.

"I'm not sure, I think Ellie was asking Grandma about why you had to leave Hogwarts early or something," he said. "Why did you Mum?" Her son looked up at her, his eyes curious.

"Rory, that's a very long story and one that I don't think you need to know about until you're older," Catherine replied, her stomach twisting into knots.

"Mum, I'm almost _nine,_" Rory said, rolling his eyes. Catherine chuckled.

"As if I could forget," she said, ruffling his hair. "You've only been reminding me every day for the last two weeks." He scowled at her and flattened his hair back down on his head.

"Why do you have to be 11 to go to Hogwarts?" he whined, flopping back on his bed.

"Don't be in such a hurry to grow up please," Catherine replied, putting her hand on his arm and giving it a slight squeeze. "Now, go apologize to your sister and no more floating her stuffed animals. Understand?"

"Yes, Mum," Rory said, grumbling a bit under his breath as he stood up from his bed. Catherine smiled and pretended not to hear before going in search of her mother.

* * *

She found the other woman a few minutes later out in the garden, pulling weeds in the flower beds. She knelt down next to her and began to help, collecting her thoughts before she brought up the subject of Ellie.

"Rory tells me you were talking to Ellie about Hogwarts yesterday," Catherine began, glancing at her mother from the corner of her eye.

"Yes," Jane replied, her face blank. Catherine resisted the urge to sigh in exasperation. Her mother had always had a knack for keeping her emotions hidden when she wanted to.

"Any progress on that front?" Catherine asked as innocently as possible. Her mother smirked a bit.

"Why don't you talk to her yourself?" Jane replied, reaching up to pull a rather large weed from under one of the rosebushes.

"I just thought you might give me hint as to whether I needed to put on protective gear beforehand," Catherine smirked herself and Jane laughed aloud.

"I don't really think that will be necessary," Jane said. Then she sat back on her heels and looked at her daughter.

"I do think you need to reconsider telling her though," Jane said. "Telling all of them actually." Catherine shook her head.

"They're too young," she said.

"No, Catherine, they're not," Jane said gently. "Ellie especially. It would help them understand why they didn't know anything about magic for so long. And why you never went back." Catherine looked at her mother for a minute, feeling the tears forming behind her eyes.

"I can't Mum, not everything" she choked out. "It hurts too much."

"Still?" Jane asked, somewhat surprised. Catherine nodded.

"I love," she paused and took a breath. "I loved him Mum," she whispered, as a tear rolled down her face. Jane put a hand to her daughter's cheek, wiping the tear away with her thumb, very aware of the small correction her daughter had just made and thought to herself that it was still the former.

"Why don't you look for him?" she asked. Catherine shook her head violently.

"No, he made it perfectly clear he wanted nothing more to do with me," she said as she stood. Jane studied her as she also rose to her feet. She knew how hurt Catherine had been, her daughter had finally confided in her after Jane had confronted her when the girl hadn't left her room for a week. But as she pulled her daughter into a hug, Jane was surprised that the pain was still as deep as it was after all this time.

"All right, not everything then," Jane replied, rubbing her daughter's back. "But part of it, at least. Ellie needs to know, it will help her accept everything much more easily." Catherine pulled back and looked at her mother.

"Maybe," she replied. "We'll see." Jane watched as Catherine walked back into the house. She sighed in annoyance. Whether she wanted to admit it or not, Catherine was just as stubborn as her father had been.

* * *

Catherine went into the loo off the kitchen to wash her face and make herself presentable before she went and found her eldest daughter. She couldn't believe that she had let it get to her again, after all this time. Not that she didn't think about him still, she did, but it hadn't brought her to tears in a very long time. And last night, she'd dreamed about him, something she hadn't done in years. The arrival of Ellie's letter had brought up a myriad of memories and Catherine wasn't so sure she wanted to remember.

**28 September 1976**

Catherine startled awake and looked around the room she was in, forgetting for a moment just where she was. As she sat up, a book slipped off her lap and landed on the stone floor with a thump. Catherine looked down at her Transfiguration book and then stole a quick glance at her watch.

"Bloody hell," she exclaimed, jumping to her feet and picking up the book. "I fell asleep again." She shoved the book, parchment, quill and ink back into her bag. It was an hour after curfew, right at the height of the Prefect's patrols. She knew Filch and that nasty cat would be scouring the halls as well, just itching to catch a student out of bed. And she'd already lost points and had two detentions for being out after curfew this year and she had only been back to school for a month.

Catherine hitched her bag up onto her shoulder and peeked out the door of the small room she'd found a week into the school year. When she had first come upon it, it had smelled rather musty from disuse and everything was covered in a thick layer of dust. It hadn't taken much to clean it up, however, and once she had, Catherine had discovered a desk and chair, as well as a small couch. The couch was threadbare and had a few rips in places, but a blanket brought down from her bed had covered the wear and the room had shaped into quite a nice private study area. She had started coming here almost every evening to study and no one had discovered her hiding place as of yet.

She searched the hall, but didn't see anyone. She stepped quietly from the room, locking the door behind her and stood still, listening intently. She could usually hear the footsteps of approaching teachers or Prefects, but that damn cat moved nearly silently and Catherine had been caught unawares more than once by the feline. Sensing no one, Catherine made her way quietly toward her dorm, sticking to the shadows as much as possible.

She had managed to get to the end of corridor without encountering anyone and was just about to turn the corner to head for the back staircase that would take her up to Ravenclaw tower when she heard a noise. Freezing in place, she pressed her back against the wall and looked wildly around for somewhere to hide. But she was in the middle of an empty corridor, not even a classroom to duck into anywhere. Cursing silently in her head, she began to pray that whatever she heard had just been in her imagination, but a few seconds later, a cat turned the corner and stopped right in front of her. Catherine's shoulders slumped in defeat, waiting for the cat's loud meow and the heavy footsteps of Filch to follow. She was sure to get detention again and most likely a lecture from Professor Flitwick. That was the last thing she wanted. She knew she would never be able to hide what had driven her from her own common room and telling him about it would only make it worse.

However, the cat did nothing, just sat and stared at her. Catherine cocked an eyebrow at the cat, looking more closely to make sure it was indeed Filch's. Perhaps it was just someone's familiar out for a late-night stroll. But no, it was caretaker's. So why wasn't she setting off the alarm?

Not really caring what exactly had gotten into the cat, Catherine took off in a run back the way she had come and hoped that she didn't run into anyone else. When she had reached the end of the corridor and turned in the opposite direction of her study room, the cat finally did begin to meow loudly and as Catherine sprinted down the hall, she could hear Filch talking to it and then the pounding of his footsteps behind her. She continued to run and turn corner after corner, looking wildly from side to side for somewhere to hide. She realized that she had gotten completely turned around and not only were there no hiding places to speak of, she had no idea where on earth she was.

Beginning to tire, Catherine turned another corner and saw the door to a classroom standing open at the other end of the corridor. A few feet before the door, was the statue of a very ugly, very hump-backed, witch. Catherine stopped, panting in exhaustion, thinking for a moment that maybe she had lost Filch after all, when she heard a loud meow behind her. Not looking back, Catherine began to run again and had just begun to pass by the witch statue, heading for the classroom, when an arm reached out from the back of the statue and dragged her behind it.

Too startled to even make a sound, she was pulled into darkness and heard a spell uttered before falling headlong down an incline, limbs entangling with someone else. They hit the bottom with a thump and as Catherine pulled herself away, she opened her mouth to scream. Before she could make a noise, however, a hand was clamped across her mouth.

"Shh," she heard someone hiss into her ear. "Do you _want_ him to catch you?" She quickly shook her head no, her eyes wide as saucers. "I'm going to take my hand away now, as long as you promise not to scream." It was a male voice speaking to her, that much she could tell. But in the blackness of the tunnel, she couldn't see a thing. She nodded and the hand was removed from her mouth.

She grabbed for her wand from her robes, but before she could find it, she heard 'lumos' and then the end of another wand lit up, shining into her face. Catherine held her hand up to shield her eyes from the brightness. She finally got hold of her own wand and lit it as well, pointing it toward the other person in the tunnel.

"Oy, watch it, you almost took my eye out," the voice said and Catherine pulled her wand back slightly, illuminating the face of Sirius Black.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, but he put a finger to his lips and began to creep back up the slanted floor they had just tumbled down. He stopped at the top and pressed his ear to the door or back of the statue or whatever it was that blocked the opening of the tunnel. She stood watching him until he nodded, apparently satisfied, and turned back toward her, walking slowly down what she could now see was a stone slide of sorts.

"I think he's gone, but we should probably wait a few more minutes, just in case," Sirius said, rejoining her. He walked a few feet down the corridor and pulled a torch from the wall, pointing his wand at it. "Incendio," he said and the torch began to burn brightly as he put it back into its bracket on the wall.

"What are you doing here?" she asked again. She had encountered Sirius a few times since he had helped her on the train that first night, but the more she heard about him and the more results she saw of his pranks, the less she liked him. She had seen what he and James Potter had done to that Slytherin, Snape, at the end of term last year. She didn't particularly care for Slytherins, nor they her. She couldn't begin to count the number of times she was called a mudblood or hissed at as she walked to class. But Snape had never been one of them, although Catherine knew that he hung around with many of the people that did. Still, he hadn't deserved what Potter and Black had done to him. Snape had been by himself minding his own business when Potter had set his sights on the Slytherin. The entire thing had disgusted her. Although, she had to admit, when Snape called Lily Evans a mudblood after she tried to defend him, Catherine had felt quite a bit less sorry for him. Nevertheless, Sirius Black was an immature prat.

"I could ask you the same question," Sirius said, smiling charmingly at her. Catherine rolled her eyes. She knew his reputation and she did not intend to become his next conquest.

"I asked you first," she said, crossing her arms in front of her.

"I was just taking a walk, thinking," he said, smirking at her. But she noticed that the smirk slipped into a frown for a split second. "Your turn," he said, recovering quickly.

"I was studying and I fell asleep," she said. "Filch's cat caught me when I was trying to get back to my common room." As she said this, Catherine wondered how he had been able to grab her at just the right moment. "Wait, how did you know to pull me in here? Where does this tunnel go anyway?"

"Don't know," he said shrugging, but Catherine got the distinct feeling that he knew exactly where it went. "I just come in here to think sometimes. I was on my way out when I heard you coming down the hall. If you don't want to get caught out after curfew, you should really learn to run more quietly." Catherine glared at him.

"I'll have to keep that in mind next time I'm being chased by an insane cat and a squib bent on hanging me by my thumbs from the dungeon ceiling," she said sarcastically, rolling her eyes again. He chuckled and she glared at him again.

"So you fell asleep studying, huh?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes," she said.

"Couldn't have been in the library, that closed hours ago," Sirius replied. "Where were you, in an empty classroom or something?"

"Not exactly," Catherine answered. Sirius just looked at her expectantly and Catherine huffed in annoyance. "It's really none of your business." He shrugged.

"Fine, don't tell me," he said. "Although, if you did, I could probably tell you of a few shortcuts you don't know about. Might keep Filch off your back." Catherine's eyes narrowed in concentration as she thought about his offer. Given the amount of pranks he and his friends played, she had no doubt that he knew his way around the castle. And she knew that the castle held more secrets than it revealed, of that she was certain. So Sirius probably could help her when it came to avoiding detection. She supposed she didn't have to tell him exactly where it was though.

"There's a small room I found down an unused corridor one day," she said. "I study there at night usually."

"Why don't you just go to the library?" Sirius asked, clearly confused as to why she would need a private study room.

"I can't really do Transfiguration in the library. Madame Pince isn't too fond of small animals running around in there," Catherine said, shrugging her shoulders.

"Are you having problems with Transfiguration?" he asked.

"Not really," Catherine said, biting her lip. "I'm just trying to perfect it, you know?" Sirius eyed her knowingly and Catherine looked away, still biting her lip. When she looked back at him, he was smiling widely.

"Well, lucky for you, I'm a genius in Transfiguration. I can help you out if you need it." Catherine looked at him, mouth agape. Disregarding his bragging, for really, she wouldn't have expected anything less of him, had Sirius Black, famous for his pranking and womanizing, but definitely **not** for studying, just offered to tutor her?

"Really? You're actually volunteering to study?" Catherine snorted. "Not likely."

"Well, it won't be studying for me," Sirius replied. "Believe me, I know all there is to know about Transfiguration." He smirked as if he held some grand secret and Catherine just shook her head.

"I need to be going," she said, "it's late." She turned and began to walk up the slope toward the exit. While the floor of the tunnel was hard-packed dirt, the incline was smooth stone and rather slippery. Catherine put her hands on either side of the wall to brace herself, but still managed to slip and slide on her way up. Just before she reached the top, she tripped and lost her balance, crying out and falling backward. Sirius was behind her and caught her before she fell, but the force knocked them both back and they landed at the bottom of the slide once again, legs entangled and Catherine on top of Sirius. She lifted her head up from his chest and her eyes locked with his. Something stirred somewhere within her and she held her breath without realizing it. After a few seconds, she recovered herself, her face reddening as she slid to the side and off of his body. She scrambled to her feet and he did the same, neither looking the other in the eye.

"Sorry," she muttered, her face burning in embarrassment. Sirius recovered quickly and gave her one of his wolfish grins.

"You didn't need to fall at my feet to get close to me," he said, waggling his eyebrows at her. "You could have just asked." Her mouth dropped open in shock and then her eyes narrowed.

"In your dreams Black," Catherine said, snorting derisively. Sirius sighed dramatically.

"You wound me Powell, you wound me," he replied, bringing a hand to his chest. Surprised that he remembered her name, Catherine blinked at him then shook her head.

"Can we just get out of here please?" she asked, motioning toward the slide.

"Of course, my lady, of course," he said, grinning at her again and then ascended the slope, holding a hand out to haul her to the top. He stopped and fumbled with something in the pocket of his robes, it looked like a piece of parchment which Catherine thought was odd, before shoving it back in. He pulled out his wand and said 'dissendium' while tapping the statue and the witch moved slowly forward. Catherine made a mental note to remember the spell just in case she needed to hide in here again. Peeking out, Sirius motioned to Catherine and they both squeezed through the opening and back into the corridor. Sirius led her through the halls and a few hidden passageways Catherine had never seen before, until they were standing in front of the door to the Ravenclaw common room.

"Thanks," Catherine said quietly, giving Sirius a small smile.

"No problem at all," he said, bowing slightly to her. She shook her head and he smiled. "I meant it about the Transfiguration," he said more seriously. "I'll help you if you want me to."

"I'll think about it," Catherine said.

"Good night then," he said, but he still lingered.

"Good night," Catherine said and after quietly answering the question from the eagle, she stepped into her common room, the door swinging shut behind her.

* * *

**July 1993**

Catherine shook herself from the memories. She would not think about this right now, it was in the past and needed to stay there. Thinking about it, about him, would only make things harder and that was the last thing she needed.

Catherine stared at her reflection in the mirror, thinking of what her mother had said and realizing that she didn't want to tell Ellie anything. She was unsure if things were still the way they had been while Catherine had been at Hogwarts and wondered just how they would label her daughter. Ellie was the child of a muggle-born witch and a muggle. That made her a half-blood at best, but they would most likely still consider her a muggle-born. And while Voldemort was gone, Catherine found it highly unlikely that all the pureblood superiority nonsense had gone with him. As far as Catherine was concerned, it was all ridiculous and she didn't want Ellie to have to suffer the same prejudices that she had. She wondered if those idiots Rosier and Wilkes or Avery and Celia Hargrove had reproduced and shuddered to think that their children might actually be attending Hogwarts right now.

Still, she knew she was going to have to tell Ellie something, if nothing else than to warn her that there might be those who were less than thrilled that she was attending Hogwarts. On the other hand, Ellie had not yet made her decision, or at least she hadn't informed Catherine of it. Telling her might actually make her more reluctant to go.

Catherine wasn't sure why she was so adamant that her daughter go to Hogwarts. Of course she did feel that Ellie needed to learn to control her magic, that much was true. But there was more to it than that. Perhaps it was a final bit of revenge on the children's father, sending them to a school he hadn't even believed existed when Catherine first confessed to him about being a witch. Catherine shook her head as she climbed the stairs. There was more to it, she knew. She wasn't sure just what.

Catherine approached Ellie's room and found the girl laying on her bed on her stomach, looking over the materials list from Hogwarts once again, her brow furrowed in concentration. She had pulled her hair into a ponytail and she was twirling the end of it around the fingers of one hand. Her other held a pencil which she was tapping lightly against her cheek as she read down the list. Catherine saw that she had a notebook next to her on the bed and there were notes and questions written in it. Catherine smiled as she stood in the doorway, leaning against the frame. If she wasn't mistaken, Ellie had already made up her mind and was making notes to ask her mother just why exactly she needed a pair of dragon-hide gloves and how difficult it was to write with a quill. Perhaps she needn't say anything to Ellie at all. At least not yet.

Catherine knocked on the door frame and Ellie looked up, smiling at her mother.

"Just thought I'd come and see what you were up to," Catherine said as she walked into the room. She pulled the chair out from Ellie's desk, carried it over next to the bed and sat down. Ellie sat up and crossed her legs, setting the notebook and letter in her lap and glanced up at her mother.

"I was just looking at this list again," Ellie said, looking back at her lap. She said nothing else and Catherine smirked knowingly.

"I take it that means you've made a decision then," Catherine said, pulling her face back into a neutral expression when Ellie looked up once more.

"Yes, I think," Ellie paused, biting her bottom lip. "I think I'd like to go." Catherine smiled widely then leaned forward and hugged her daughter.

"You won't regret it," she said into the girl's ear. "I promise." Ellie wrapped her arms around her mother and rested her head against her shoulder. The two sat that way for a few moments before Ellie pulled away.

"Did you have some questions you wanted to ask?" Catherine asked, as she moved from the chair to the bed.

"Well, maybe a few," Ellie said as she moved over a bit to make room for her mother. And the two witches sat and discussed Hogwarts for the next hour, Catherine's smile growing wider with each one.


	3. These Dreams

**A/N - Here is Chapter 3, a bit longer this time with alot more Sirius. :) The chapter title is a song by Heart, which I do not own either. Hope you enjoy and please let me know what you think! **

**Chapter 3**

**These Dreams**

**July 1993**

Catherine awoke to darkness and looked at her bedside clock which read 2:37. She sighed, turning from her side to her back and brought a hand to her face. Her cheeks were wet again for the third night in a row. She'd been dreaming of _that_ day again and crying in her sleep. She knew that it was because of all the talk about Hogwarts with Ellie in the last few days. Ever since her daughter had made her decision, it seemed she wanted to talk of nothing else and Rory was just as curious. Catherine had indulged them, of course, although every time she mentioned Transfiguration or Gryffindor, it was like the stab of a knife into her heart. She knew her mother was beginning to suspect something after their talk in the garden and the way Catherine's smile became just a bit brittle and forced when she discussed these things. The children hadn't seemed to notice though and for that Catherine was grateful.

She lay quietly, trying not to let her mind wander into territory that she knew was dangerous, that she knew would only cause more heartache, but she found that she was unable to prevent the memories from coming.

**1 October 1976**

Three days after only just escaping Filch and another detention, Catherine was back in her small study room attempting to change the small teapot she had into a tortoise. This had been their final exam in her previous year, but Catherine had not done all that well with it. Her tortoise had still had a spout for a tail and the floral pattern of the teapot had decorated its shell. She had barely passed the class with an A last year. So she had decided to try and master the previous one, before working on her current assignment.

Catherine shook her head as she tried again and her tortoise looked up at her and breathed a long stream of steam from its mouth. Frustrated, she tapped the tortoise's shell just a little too hard, putting a crack in the teapot as it changed back. She muttered a quiet 'reparo' and the crack disappeared and then Catherine threw down her wand in exasperation. She didn't think she was ever going to get this right.

She thought back to her conversation with Maureen a few years ago and wished the older girl were still here to help her. Myra had tried, but she seemed to come by Transfiguration so effortlessly, that it was difficult for her to explain to Catherine exactly what she had done and why.

Catherine was excelling in almost all of her classes. Charms, Potions, Herbology, Care of Magical Creatures, Ancient Runes and Arithmancy gave her no problems. She did well enough in Astronomy, Defense against the Dark Arts and History of Magic, the most boring class she had ever attended. She knew the only reason she was doing so well there was because she read a lot of history on her own. Honestly, why Professor Dumbledore thought it was a good idea to let a ghost teach class was beyond her.

But Transfiguration was the thorn in her side. She couldn't understand why she couldn't master this class as she had all her others, although she thought it probably had a lot to do with her attitude towards it. No matter how much she tried to concentrate on the fact that she needed to learn the lower level spells in order to be able to accomplish the higher level ones, she just could not stop thinking of how ridiculous some of them seemed. The newest assignment, turning a hedgehog into a pin cushion was the most absurd one yet. Catherine didn't understand why they couldn't do something more useful.

Glancing at her watch, she realized that if she didn't want a repeat of three days ago, she had better pack up and get back to her tower. Shoving all her things into her bag, she locked the door behind her and began to make her way back toward her dorm.

She was about halfway there when she heard footsteps behind her. She didn't slow, but the footsteps quickened. Her heart began to beat faster and she reached into the pocket of her robes for her wand. Things had changed this year, she knew it was down to You-Know-Who's rise in power, and while she was used to the name-calling and jeers from some of the older students, it had gone a bit farther than that. A sixth-year Hufflepuff boy, who was a muggle-born, had been cornered by three Slytherins two nights ago on his way back from the library. Although the arrival of Professor McGonagall had prevented any hexes from being thrown and the Slytherins had been given detention with Filch for two weeks, Catherine wasn't taking any chances on being ambushed.

The footsteps continued to get nearer, although Catherine had sped up herself, and she was on the verge of spinning around and confronting whoever it was behind her when a voice called out her name.

"Oi, Powell! Are you going to keep running away from me?" Catherine stopped and turned and saw Sirius Black a few feet away down the corridor.

"Bloody hell, Black, you scared me half to death!" she exclaimed, putting her wand back into her pocket. "Warn a person next time before you sneak up on them why don't you?" He chuckled and she glared at him. "What do you want anyway?"

"Just wondered how the Transfiguration was coming along," he said.

"It's not, actually," Catherine said, sighing.

"My offer still stands," he replied, giving her a grin. She rolled her eyes and shook her head. Then she looked at him, her brow furrowed. This was the second time she had seen him without any of his friends. She never saw Sirius without at least one of them.

"Where's the rest of your little gang?" she asked. Sirius just shrugged his shoulders.

"Studying or something," he said, trying to look nonchalant, but she saw the same frown as she had in the tunnel a few nights ago.

"Right," she snorted. "Pettigrew couldn't study to save his life and Potter isn't much better. I'll give you Lupin though." Remus Lupin was definitely the most studious of the quartet. Catherine had seen him in the library quite often.

"Look, what does it matter what they're doing?" Sirius replied. "Do you want my help or not?"

"It matters, Black, because I don't think I've ever seen you without at least one of the others," Catherine said, her eyes narrowing. "It makes me wonder what you're planning and why you keep insisting on helping me. I don't care to be the victim of one of your stupid pranks." He sighed in exasperation.

"I'm not planning anything," he said, his voice rising a bit. "I just thought I'd offer you my help, but if you don't want it, fine." Catherine was surprised at his irritation and she stood quietly scrutinizing him, trying to figure out just what he wanted from her. And finally it dawned on her.

"Listen, if you think I'm going to snog you or something, in exchange for helping me, you can think again," Catherine said, a bit of disgust in her voice. Sirius stared at her, gobsmacked, and then he snorted.

"I can snog any girl in the school I want to, Powell," he said. "And I don't need to help them study in order to get them to. Just forget I offered." Catherine felt the anger flare inside her, and then stop as he turned to walk away from her. She saw the hurt in his eyes, although he quickly tried to mask it as he turned, and she instantly realized her mistake.

"Black," she called after him, but he didn't stop, just continued to walk down the corridor. "Sirius," she tried again and this time he paused, but didn't turn. Catherine walked to where he was standing. "I'm sorry," she said. "I actually do need help and well, if you really want to, I'd," she paused, swallowing down her pride. "I'd appreciate it."

He turned to her then, cold look on his face and she reddened and looked away, not able to meet his gaze.

"Oh I don't know, maybe you shouldn't. I might try to shag you in the midst of studying," his voice was hard and angry and Catherine felt even worse.

"Look, I'm sorry all right," she said. "It was a stupid thing to say. I'm an arse." He contemplated her for a moment then shook his head.

"You're not an arse," he said. "And idiot maybe, but not an arse." She glanced up at him sharply, but she saw the amusement on his face and quirked a grin at him.

"Maybe, but you're still a prat," she said smirking. He laughed, loud and bark-like, and she couldn't help but join in.

"Tomorrow then?" he asked, still grinning at her.

"All right," she nodded. "I'll meet you outside the Great Hall after dinner."

"Excellent," Sirius said and bowed to her once again. She rolled her eyes, but he winked at her and then turned and walked back down the corridor, whistling to himself. Catherine just shook her head and smiled, then turned and made her way back to her common room.

* * *

The next evening as Catherine sat down to dinner with Myra, her eyes immediately searched the Gryffindor table for Sirius. She saw Potter, Lupin and Pettigrew at one end of the table, but Sirius wasn't with them. She looked down the rest of the table but didn't see him anywhere. Shrugging, she began to fill her plate, thinking that he must just be running late, but when she began to eat her pudding, he still hadn't appeared. She thought of going and asking his friends where he was, but something in the way Sirius had looked when she mentioned them the previous night stopped her. Something was definitely going on there.

She finished her dinner and said good-bye to Myra. Her friend knew of her study room and the reason why Catherine went there, but she didn't actually know where it was. In fact, Catherine realized, she hadn't ever taken anyone there before. Sirius would be the first. Her footsteps slowed as she thought about this, wondering if it were such a good idea after all. She supposed they could use an empty classroom somewhere to practice.

Catherine walked into the entrance hall and looked around, spotting Sirius leaning against the wall near the front doors. She approached him, wondering again what was going on between him and his friends.

"I didn't see you at dinner," she said, as he fell into step beside her. He shrugged.

"I was running late, so I just went down to the kitchens for a quick bite," he said.

"You know how to get down to the kitchens?" she asked, completely surprised.

"Sure," he grinned. "I'll show you some time. So where are we headed?" Catherine hesitated. "There's that empty classroom next to the secret passage from the other night," he said. "We could go there."

"All right," she said and followed him. They reached the classroom a few minutes later and Sirius closed the door once she had stepped inside. He sat on top of a desk and she took the chair next to it, pulling her bag up on to her lap and taking out her teapot.

"Third-year spell?" he asked, raising his eyebrows at her.

"Well, I figured I'd better master this one before I tried to move on," she said. "I didn't do so well on my final last year, only got an A."

"Spoken like a true Ravenclaw," Sirius snorted. "I know loads of people that would be right chuffed over an A."

"Yes, well, it won't help me if I can't get into N.E.W.T. level Transfiguration and I have to have at least an E to do that," she retorted. "Forgive me if I aspire to something more than flying on my broomstick and tossing a bloody ball through a hoop." His eyes narrowed.

"There's nothing wrong with playing professional Quidditch," he said tightly. "Besides, I'm a beater, not a chaser." Catherine just rolled her eyes.

"In case you haven't noticed, Black, there's a war going on," she said through gritted teeth. "I really don't think games are all that important right now."

"Oh and what worldly and self-sacrificing occupation do you 'aspire to'?" Sirius asked sarcastically.

"If you must know," Catherine said, "I'd like to be a Healer or maybe an Unspeakable." She began shoving her things back into her bag. "I knew this was a mistake," she said as she stood. Sirius' look softened and he jumped down from the desk. She tried to maneuver around him to get to the door, but he grabbed her arm.

"Don't go," he said. She glared at him and tried to wrench her arm away from him. "Please," he said, looking contrite and she stopped. He let go of her and she crossed her arms in front of her.

"I'm sorry," he said and she stared at him, sure she had heard him wrong. Sirius Black did not apologize. At least, he didn't apologize and actually mean it. He ran a hand through his hair and looked sheepishly at her.

"Fine," she huffed, dropping her bag back onto the desk, irritated that she actually needed his help. "Can we just get to work now?"

"Whatever you want," he said grinning and she just rolled her eyes. She pulled the teapot back out and they began to discuss the theory of Transfiguration.

**July 1993**

Catherine sat up in her bed, scrubbing her hands down her face as if trying to rub the memories away. She did not want to think about him. Looking at the clock, she realized it was now almost 3 AM and she knew that sleep would not be returning anytime soon. She wasn't sure if she wanted to go back to sleep anyway, at least the dreams would be kept at bay that way. Sighing, she threw the sheet back and climbed out of bed. She wandered to the window and stood looking out into the darkness. She avoided looking at the stars as much as possible, but her eyes were drawn against their will to the Dog Star, squeezing her heart painfully. She noticed that the moon was close to full and that drove another shot of pain through her heart and Catherine heard herself whimper out loud. Tearing herself away from the window, she went into the bathroom and splashed water on her face.

"Pull it together Catherine," she admonished herself in the mirror and looked up at her blotchy red eyes and the dark circles that shadowed beneath them. Growling in annoyance, she shut off the tap and stalked her way downstairs to the kitchen. Tea would help, tea always helped.

A few minutes later, she sat with her cup at the kitchen table, sipping it slowly and flipping idly through a magazine. She wasn't really reading it, her mind kept wandering back to her earlier memories and that damn dream. She'd had it almost every night for months at first, but it had gradually tapered off. It hadn't bothered her for years and now she'd had it three nights running. She huffed in exasperation and savagely flipped another page of the magazine. It ripped and she waved a hand at it without thinking and the page repaired itself. Catherine stopped, gaping at the page and then looking at her hand.

"Well that's new," she said quietly. Wandless magic wasn't taught until N.E.W.T. level at Hogwarts, but Catherine had begun reading about it in her 5th year and had managed a few simple spells, although not without concentrating extremely hard. She had never once done both nonverbal and wandless magic however, and never with just a nonchalant waving of her hand. As she sat and thought about it though, logic forced its way into her mind. What she had just done really wasn't all that different from the accidental magic her children did from time to time. She had been angry when she ripped the magazine page, not really thinking about fixing it, just irritated that it had ripped. She shrugged her shoulders and sipped her tea again.

She looked back at the page she had ripped a moment later and her heart nearly stopped. It was an advertisement for something, but all Catherine saw was the big black dog standing in the foreground of the picture. As much as she wanted to, she couldn't seem to tear her eyes away from the page and as she stared at it, a tear dripped from her chin and splatted onto the paper. She threw the magazine from the table and put her face in her hands. 'Damn you, Sirius,' she thought to herself as her shoulders began to shake once more.

**8 October 1976**

It had been a week since Catherine and Sirius had started meeting to work on Transfiguration and Catherine had to admit, it had gone better than she ever expected. Despite her initial misgivings and her rather low opinion of him, she had been pleasantly surprised by Sirius. He was patient and had a way of explaining things that, while simple, did not make her feel stupid. She realized there was more to him than the cocky attitude he showed to the rest of the school. Sometimes, Catherine got the feeling that Sirius was not nearly as self-assured as he wanted everyone else to believe.

They had met almost every night, in the same classroom near the hump-backed witch statue. However, it wasn't until the night before that she had finally been able to successfully turn the teapot into a tortoise. She had been surprised at first, but then looked up at Sirius and grinned widely. He had applauded her and hooted and whistled until she turned red.

Yesterday he told her he would nick a hedgehog from McGonagall's classroom and help her with the pincushion spell tonight. She had been concerned about him getting into trouble, but he waved her off and told her not to worry.

As she sat in the classroom and waited for him, her earlier curiosity about what had happened between Sirius and his friends returned. It was Friday and she never thought he would agree to study with her instead of planning some prank with his friends. She had been watching at mealtimes, but Sirius rarely showed up. The few times that he did, he looked at his friends with something akin to longing and then sat next to a few 5th year girls instead, who seemed to giggle and make eyes at him the entire meal. She didn't run into the 6th year Gryffindors all that often, but when she did, Potter, Lupin and Pettigrew were always together, without Sirius. She had seen Pettigrew talking to Sirius one day, but when Potter appeared around the corner, Pettigrew had scuttled off to him and left Sirius by himself again. Whenever she mentioned any of this, Sirius would change the subject, but she was determined to get the story out of him. She was so caught up in her thoughts, she didn't hear him enter the room until he spoke.

"Daydreaming about me again, Powell?" he asked, grinning at her and waggling his eyebrows. She just rolled her eyes at him and shook her head. "I've got something for you," he said, reaching into his pocket and pulling something out. He set it on the desk in front of her and she saw the small hedgehog curled into a ball. "Told you I could get it." He grinned at her again and she smiled in spite of herself.

They practiced for an hour, Catherine doing better than she had in class, but still not succeeding, when she decided to call it a night.

"Are you sure?" he asked. "It's still early, we could keep working."

"I'm tired," Catherine said. "It's been a long week. Besides, don't you have some girl to snog or some prank to plan with your friends?" she teased, but at the mention of his friends, Sirius looked away. Catherine bit her lip, but pressed on, wanting to help him if she could.

"Black, what's going on with the four of you?" she asked. "You're rarely in the Great Hall and when you are, you don't sit with your friends. I never see you with them in the corridors anymore."

"It's nothing," he said, waving a hand.

"It's not 'nothing'," Catherine replied. "The other day, Pettigrew looked like Potter was going to hex him just for talking to you." She waited, but he didn't reply. "If you tell me, maybe I can help." He looked up at her and his eyes were filled with sadness and remorse. She almost gasped at the sight, but managed to hold it in.

"They're just upset with me about something," he said quietly. "Well, I don't think Peter is, but he's always followed James around like a puppy, so he's not talking to me if James is around."

"What are they upset about?" Catherine asked, confused.

"I," he broke off, looking down at his hands in his lap. "I just did something I shouldn't have, something sort of stupid. Well, not sort of, it was really stupid and they're angry. Remus especially."

"What did you do?" Catherine asked, wondering what in Merlin's name could make the biggest pranksters in the school so angry that they would refuse to speak to him.

"I can't tell you that," he said and Catherine opened her mouth to protest, but he interrupted her. "I really can't Catherine. I didn't think it through, just reacted to another situation and I didn't mean for anything bad to happen, but it could have." He looked so defeated in that moment, that Catherine felt the urge to put her arms around him, but she settled for putting a hand on his arm instead.

"Have you apologized?" she asked quietly.

"I tried, sort of," Sirius began then looked at her ashamed. "Not really."

"Maybe you should," she said, but he just shook his head.

"They won't listen to me," he said. "Remus won't even look at me." Catherine's brow furrowed at that. Her mind was awhirl with possibilities, trying to figure out why Remus would be the angriest of them all.

"You're all in the same dorm room," she said. "Why don't you just try and talk to them when you're all going to bed or something."

"I haven't been sleeping in my dorm," he said. "They all ignore me, pretend I'm not even there, so I've just been avoiding it." Catherine stared at him in surprise.

"Where have you been sleeping then?" Catherine asked.

"The common room or up on the Astronomy tower," he replied, shrugging. "It's been pretty warm the last few nights."

"Sirius, you've got to talk to them," Catherine insisted, startling a bit as she realized she had just called him by his first name, as he had her a few moments ago. She shook her head and continued. "You can't keep sleeping on the Astronomy tower." He shrugged a shoulder and looked away from her. "They're your friends, no matter what you've done, they're your friends. Just talk to them."

"Maybe," he said.

"Not maybe, do it," she ordered and crossed her arms in front of her.

"Who are you, my mother?" he asked, but there was a hint of amusement in his voice. His expression darkened again quickly, however, and Catherine knew he wasn't going to do it.

"If you talk to them, I'll show you my secret room," she blurted out, then clapped a hand over her mouth as if she couldn't believe she had just said that. Sirius raised an eyebrow then grinned suggestively at her. He stood and walked to where she sat, sitting down next to her on her bench.

"Secret room, hmm?" he said in a voice barely above a whisper. "And just what, exactly, did you want to show me, in this, secret room?" Their faces were only inches apart now and Catherine could feel his warm breath on her cheek. In spite of herself, she felt her heart began to beat faster and her breath came in hitches as he stared at her. And then she locked her gaze with his and saw the laughter in his eyes. She leaned back and punched him in the arm.

"Get your mind out of the gutter, Black," she said as she slid off the bench and stood. He grimaced and rubbed his arm, glaring at her as she tried to get her heart and breathing back under control.

"Who taught you how to throw a punch?" he asked lips in a pout.

"My father, to fend off idiots like you," she retorted, then crossed her arms and turned away from him.

"Powell, I was only teasing you," he said as he stood and came up behind her. She moved away from him, unconsciously, and then berated herself in her head and forced her body to remain still. She turned and rolled her eyes at him.

"Obviously," she said with a grin, trying to convince herself as much as him. "But I meant what I said." Sirius looked at the floor, shifting from foot to foot, his hands in his trouser pockets.

"All right," he finally said, looking up at her again. "I'll talk to them."

"Good," she said smiling, then packed her things into her bag. "Coming?" she asked as she turned to leave the room.

"What, you mean now?" he asked, looking at her as if he would rather do anything than talk to his friends.

"Yes, now," she huffed, shifting her bag on her shoulder. "When did you think I meant, next term?" Sirius walked toward her muttering under his breath. She smiled as they left the classroom together, hearing things like 'meddling witch' and 'bloody barmy' as they walked back towards their towers.

* * *

Sirius did indeed talk to his friends however, because by breakfast on Monday morning, he was sitting with them again at the Gryffindor table. Catherine smiled on her way into the Great Hall with Myra and Sirius gave her a wink and a slight nod. Myra, ever watchful, noticed this and looked at Catherine questioningly.

"What was that all about?" she asked, looking from Sirius to Catherine and back again.

"Nothing," Catherine said, but couldn't hide the grin on her face. Myra's eyes narrowed as she looked at her friend, then her mouth dropped open.

"You snogged him didn't you?" she asked, in a rather loud voice.

"Myra!" Catherine hissed at her, face reddening.

"Well, did you?" Myra asked, lowering her voice a notch.

"Of course not," Catherine insisted as they sat down at the Ravenclaw table. Myra looked at her suspiciously. "I didn't Myra, I swear," Catherine said, almost daring her friend to accuse her again.

"Okay, okay, you didn't," Myra said, finally giving in. "So what then?"

"We've been studying together," Catherine said, spooning eggs onto her plate. Myra snorted.

"Studying? Sirius Black?" She began to laugh out loud even as Catherine shushed her.

"He's been helping me with Transfiguration," Catherine said. "And doing a good job of it too, I got the teapot and tortoise spell down in only a week." She smiled widely and snuck a glance at Sirius.

"You got it?" Catherine nodded. "Catherine that's brilliant!" Myra exclaimed.

"Thanks," Catherine replied, smiling at her friend. Myra began to put food onto her plate, then looked at Catherine out of the corner of her eye.

"You're sure there's nothing going on between you two besides studying?" she asked.

"No, Myra, there's nothing else going on," Catherine said, shaking her head at her friend.

"Too bad," Myra replied, taking a bite of bacon. Catherine almost choked on her pumpkin juice.

"What do you mean, too bad?" she spluttered. Myra just shrugged.

"Well, he is awfully good-looking, isn't he?" she said matter-of-factly.

"I hadn't noticed," Catherine replied going back to her breakfast. Myra looked at her and shook her head.

"Sure you haven't," she said under her breath and then went back to eating her bacon.

**July 1993**

"Dammit Catherine, stop it," Catherine said aloud as she got up from the table, taking her tea cup to the sink. She rinsed it out and then put the cup into the dishwasher.

"Mummy," she heard from behind her and Catherine whirled around, her hand groping unconsciously against her side for her wand. She shook her head at her ridiculousness, she hadn't carried her wand in years. Must be all the memories about Hogwarts, Catherine thought to herself. She looked up and saw Miranda standing in the kitchen doorway, her curly blonde hair tousled from sleep, rubbing her eyes with one hand and holding onto her panda with the other.

"Miranda," Catherine said, crossing the room to her daughter. "You gave Mummy a fright." She picked the little girl up and hugged her, Miranda snuggling her face into her mother's neck.

"Sorry, Mummy," she yawned widely. Catherine rubbed her back and began to sway back and forth. It was an instinctual mother move, one she had discovered when Ellie was only days old. She hadn't even realized she was doing it until Daniel had pointed it out to her.

"What's the matter sweetheart?" Catherine asked.

"Had a dream," Miranda said, as she yawned again. "'Bout a doggy." Catherine startled and nearly dropped the little girl. Miranda's head whipped up and she looked at her mother, her blue eyes widening in concern. "You okay, Mummy?"

"Y-yes sweetheart, I'm fine," Catherine said shakily. She gathered her daughter to her more tightly and began to sway again. It was all just a coincidence. Miranda loved animals, dogs and cats especially, it wasn't unusual for her to dream about them. It didn't mean anything.

Catherine walked back upstairs, still carrying Miranda and gently laid her back down in her bed. She pulled the sheet up over her then sat down next to her on the bed, not wanting to leave the little girl just yet. She thought Miranda had gone back to sleep, but as Catherine smoothed her hair back from her face, her daughter spoke again.

"Was a big, black doggy," Miranda said sleepily. "Can we get a doggy Mummy?" Catherine was nearly paralyzed with shock. Her hand had frozen in the air above her daughter's head and her breath seemed to have left her. Miranda didn't notice as she had fallen back to sleep, her chest rising and falling evenly.

Catherine finally recovered herself and walked slowly back into her own room. She closed the door and slumped against it, her heart beating erratically and she slid down to the floor. Catherine put her head in her hands, trying to breathe normally to keep herself from hyperventilating. She had no idea what was going on, was her daughter some kind of seer, could she read minds now? Catherine felt as if her sanity was crumbling down around her. She longed for a vial of the Dreamless Sleep potion Madame Pomfrey had given her in the hospital wing after, Catherine's thoughts trailed off. She did not want to think about that either.

Logic, she needed to look at the situation logically. It was the only thing that would keep her from going mad. She thought back to the afternoon and evening, trying to figure out why Miranda would have dreamed about a dog. Had they been talking about dogs at some point? Catherine closed her eyes and pictured the lounge after dinner. Her mother had been reading a novel and Ellie and Rory watching a program on the telly. Catherine had been shortening a skirt for Ellie, and Miranda? Catherine concentrated, searching the room in her mind and trying to place her youngest daughter. She had been sitting on the couch next to her grandmother and looking at something. A magazine! Miranda had been looking at a magazine. The same magazine Catherine had been paging through while she drank her tea.

Catherine opened her eyes and sighed in relief. No wonder Miranda had dreamed about a big, black dog. She must have seen the same ad Catherine did and her subconscious had brought it back out in her dream. Smiling, Catherine even remembered her pointing it out to her grandmother. Miranda had been asking for a dog since she was three, she loved them.

Satisfied, Catherine stood and opened her door. She turned out the light and walked back to her bed, climbing in. It was now almost 4:00, but she felt tired enough that she thought she could sleep again. She sighed and rolled to her side, closing her eyes and feeling sleep come to claim her almost immediately. And not long after, the dreams returned.

**11 October 1976**

Catherine met Sirius in the entrance hall after dinner again, but this time she was taking him to her private study room, instead of the classroom they had been using.

"So," she said as they walked down the hall together. "You seem to be getting along with your roommates again." He looked at her out of the corner of his eye.

"I suppose," he said, but she saw the smirk on his face.

"I'm glad," she said, smiling and putting a hand on his arm.

"Well, Moony is still pretty mad at me," he said, shrugging. "But at least he listened to what I had to say and James and Peter are speaking to me again."

"Moony?" Catherine asked, confusion on her face.

"Oh, yeah, uh, Moony is Remus' nickname," Sirius replied, clearly flustered.

"Seems like an odd nickname," Catherine said, her brow furrowed.

"Oh well, we've all got strange nicknames like that," Sirius continued, babbling now. "James is Prongs and Peter is Wormtail. I'm Padfoot." Catherine looked at him as if there was something wrong with him, her eyebrows raised. "What?" he asked defensively.

"Boys are so odd," she muttered, shaking her head. Sirius chuckled. They walked the rest of the way in silence and when they reached the door, Catherine stopped and pointed her wand at the door and said "alohomora" and the lock clicked. She opened the door and walked in, Sirius following behind.

"It's not much," she said. "But it's worked well enough for me."

"I think it's brilliant," Sirius said, grinning. "How did you find this place?"

"I'm not sure really," Catherine shrugged. "I was wandering around one afternoon and I just sort of came upon it."

"That reminds me," Sirius said, sitting down on the couch. "I've been meaning to ask you why you don't just study in your common room."

"Um, too noisy," Catherine said, biting her lip.

"Come on Powell, tell me the truth," Sirius said.

"How do you know I'm not?" Catherine asked indignantly.

"You're biting your lip," Sirius said. "You always do that when you're lying." Catherine looked at him, mouth agape and Sirius laughed. "It's pretty obvious."

"You're a prat," Catherine said.

"So you've told me," Sirius said grinning. "Now tell me the real reason." Catherine sighed and sat down at the desk. She began to fiddle with her hair, winding a strand of it around her finger. "And that's what you do when you're nervous," Sirius said then ducked as she threw her Transfiguration book at him.

"Do you want to hear this or not?" she asked, as he picked up the book and floated it back to her.

"Sorry," he said, sitting up straight and folding his hands in his lap. "Please continue." She just shook her head at him.

"Let's just say that there are certain people in my house who subscribe more to the Slytherin philosophy than not," she said, looking down at the desk.

"Have they been hassling you?" Sirius asked, sounding suddenly angry.

"Nothing I can't handle," Catherine replied, shrugging a shoulder. Sirius rose from the couch and came and leaned against the desk.

"You shouldn't have to handle it," Sirius insisted. "You should tell Flitwick."

"It will just make it worse," Catherine said, shaking her head. "Don't worry about it Sirius, it's not that big of a deal."

"Yes, it is Catherine," he persisted. "You should be able to study in your own common room without worrying about being hexed for Merlin's sake." His voice had risen and he was nearly shouting now.

"Sirius, calm down," she said. "I can take care of myself and it's nothing more than talk and stupid comments. I'd just rather not deal with it, so I leave. I like it better here anyway, it _is_ a lot quieter."

"Fine," Sirius sighed in exasperation. "But promise me that you'll tell someone if it gets any worse."

"Why Sirius Black, are you worried about me?" Catherine asked, exaggeratedly batting her eyelashes at him.

"I'm serious Catherine," he said, his voice hard.

"I know you're Sirius," she said grinning and he groaned.

"That is the oldest joke ever," he said, but she could see the smirk he was trying to hide.

"Thank you for your concern, really," Catherine said. "But I'm fine." He looked at her, the smirk gone now, and finally nodded. "Now, where's that hedgehog, I think we have work to do."

* * *

The next few weeks passed in much the same way. Catherine and Sirius met in Catherine's study room two nights a week to work on Transfiguration. Despite her initial success with the tortoise and the teapot, Catherine couldn't seem to grasp the hedgehog and the pincushion change. No matter what she did there always seemed to be a bit of hedgehog left over and she was getting extremely aggravated.

"You've got to stop looking at it so logically," Sirius said one evening, frustration evident in his voice. "You've just got to let go and accept that it's possible."

"Easy for you to say," Catherine retorted. "You grew up around magic your entire life. I've only been here a little more than three years." She dropped down heavily onto the sofa and crossed her arms in front of her.

"Okay, think about the barrier at King's Cross," he said.

"What about it?" Catherine asked.

"Who came to your house and told you about Hogwarts?" he continued, ignoring her question.

"Professor McGonagall," Catherine replied.

"And she told you how to get through the barrier," Sirius said. Catherine nodded. "Okay, but did you think it could actually work?" Catherine thought about it for a moment. So many things had happened that day that by the time the professor had actually gotten around to explaining how to get through the barrier, Catherine's mind was awhirl with all the information she had already received.

"I didn't really think about it much at the time," she said, brow furrowed in remembrance. "But once we got to the train station, I did have a hard time going through. It wasn't until I saw Myra's sisters do it that I thought it might actually work."

"Well, try to think about Transfiguration the same way," Sirius said, motioning toward the hedgehog.

"But it's not the same," Catherine protested. "I've seen plenty of other people do it. Myra could transfigure anything in her sleep. So I know it's possible,_ I_ just can't seem to do it."

"If you know it's possible, then you should just be able to let go and do it," Sirius objected. "You're thinking about it too much."

"Well if I don't _think_ about it, how am I supposed to _do_ it?" Catherine snapped, eyes flashing in anger. Sirius looked at her in exasperation. He let out a long breath and began pacing around the small room. Catherine watched him, eyes narrowed. She wondered if he was contemplating telling her to forget it, that she was too difficult to teach. Although, the more time she spent with him, the more she realized that he was just as stubborn as she was, maybe more so. As she watched, he began to mumble under his breath, his brow furrowed in concentration as he crossed the room again.

"What was Evans saying about that holiday her parents took her on this summer?" he muttered and Catherine remained silent, thinking he didn't even realize he was talking out loud. Then he stopped and snapped his fingers. "It's like those, what do you call them, airflames," he said and Catherine covered her mouth to hold in a laugh.

"You mean airplanes?" she said, snickering under her breath. Sirius gave her a dark look and then continued.

"Yes, airplanes," he said. "They fly without magic right?" Catherine nodded, wondering just where he was going with this line of thought. "Well, no one questions how they stay in the air, they just know that they do."

"Of course they know how they stay in the air," Catherine said. "It's all about physics – thrust and drag, lift and weight. The engines on the plane provide the thrust and the wings the lift. As the plane moves through the air," Catherine trailed off as she took in Sirius' expression. His eyes looked to be glazing over and his mouth was hanging open. She bit her lip, looking at him curiously. After a few moments, he shook his head as if clearing it.

"Figures, I keep forgetting you're a Ravenclaw," he said, shaking his head. "Okay, so you know how it works, but do most people?" Catherine cocked her head, contemplating that question.

"No, I guess not," Catherine said.

"Okay, so most people don't know how it works, they just get on the airplane and expect that it's going to fly, right?" Catherine nodded. "Well, try to think of Transfiguration like that. I know it doesn't make sense to you that you can change a living thing into a non-living thing, but you can. It just works."

"Yes, but," Catherine began, but Sirius interrupted her.

"I mean it Catherine," he said. "Sometimes you have to just believe it's going to work instead of thinking it to death." Catherine scowled at him, but considered what he said all the same. Magic in general was like that she supposed, at least for muggle-borns. She had accepted magic rather quickly after all. She hadn't even thought for a second that it couldn't be real and for someone with a mind as logical as hers, that was saying something. She pursed her lips for a moment, then stood and went back to her desk where the hedgehog still sat.

She stared at it for a moment, willing herself to let go and just picture the pincushion in her mind. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, letting go of the thoughts about how and why and what the purpose was. And then she tapped the hedgehog with her wand and said the spell. She kept her eyes closed and held her breath until she heard a loud whoop from Sirius. Eyes snapping open, Catherine looked down and to her amazement saw a small pincushion with numerous pins sticking out of it. She turned to Sirius and grinned and he picked her up and swung her around, smiling broadly at her as Catherine laughed. He set her down on her feet and they grinned at each other.

"I knew you could do it," Sirius said, still smiling.

"That makes one of us," Catherine said laughing. They stood looking at each other until Catherine became very aware that his arms were still around her. He looked down at her, the grin fading from his face, his expression becoming more serious. Catherine sucked in a breath and held it, looking into his eyes. Time seemed to freeze as the two just stood there staring at each other. And then Catherine pulled away, her face reddening and Sirius was suddenly very interested in the pincushion, examining it closely as he ran a hand through his hair.

"Well, I suppose I should see if I can change this thing back again," Catherine said once she had sufficiently recovered herself. Sirius gestured for her to go ahead and Catherine tapped the pincushion with her wand, expecting the hedgehog to reappear. The pincushion sprouted feet and began to walk toward the edge of the desk, but definitely did not turn back into a hedgehog. Catherine sighed.

"I guess I need more practice," she said, frowning at her walking pincushion. Sirius chuckled a bit as he tapped the pincushion himself and watched as a hedgehog reappeared in its place.

"I don't mind," he said, grinning at her. She smiled shyly back and then looked away, putting her books back into her bag. Sirius followed her to the door, tucking the hedgehog back into his pocket. As the neared the end of the corridor and turned to go their separate ways, Sirius stopped and looked back at her.

"Thursday then?" he asked and Catherine nodded.

"Thursday," she replied. He stood and looked at her for a moment, then smiled and turned and walked away. Catherine watched him until he turned the corner and then said, "Thursday," under her breath again as she smiled and walked back to her tower.

* * *

**A/N2 - The incident between Sirius and his friends is indeed the famous sending Snape to the Shrieking Shack incident. I went by the HP Lexicon timeline which has it happening in Sept. of the Marauder's 6th year. However, when I was rereading DH this summer I realized that according to Snape's memories, it actually happened before the O.W.L.S. incident. But I left the story as is, as that was my premise for having Sirius off on his own. So I do realize that is an error.**


	4. Confrontation and Confession

**A/N - Hello everyone, chapter 4 for you. Thanks to all who have been reading and put this story on alert. How about reviewing and letting me know what you think about it? Enjoy! **

**Chapter 4**

**Confrontation and Confession**

**July 1993**

Catherine awoke just as the sun was beginning to break over the horizon. She lay in her bed, head turned toward the window as the sky lightened from black to gray suffused with pink and white. It was lovely, but Catherine's mood was anything but. She was exhausted, her sleep disjointed and plagued with dreams and memories she would much rather forget. She rose from her bed and went into the loo, stopping to look at herself in the mirror.

Her eyes were bloodshot and puffy, dark circles ringing them underneath. The skin of her cheeks seemed to sag and the frown lines around her mouth were more prominent than she had ever seen them. There was a line between her eyes and when she brought a finger up to smooth it out, she found it etched there, seemingly permanently, unless she smiled.

"And smiling is the last thing I feel like doing right now," Catherine mused as she splashed water on her face. Sighing, she made her way downstairs to the kitchen, careful not to make any noise to keep her children from waking. As she entered the kitchen, she was surprised to see her mother already up and sitting at the table with a cup of tea.

"You're up early," Catherine said as she pulled open the cupboard door and took out the coffee. Tea was not going to suffice this morning, caffeine was definitely the order of the day.

"Couldn't sleep," her mother remarked, as she took a sip of her tea.

"Why not?" Catherine asked measuring out the coffee into the filter.

"Oh, I was worried I suppose," Jane said, looking out the door to the garden.

"Worried?" Catherine said, confused. "What about?"

"You," her mother said simply, turning to look at her daughter. Catherine fumbled with the coffee mug she had been taking out of the cupboard and turned to face her mother.

"Why are you worried about me?" Catherine asked, feigning surprise.

"You forget that my bedroom is right below yours," Jane said with a pointed look. "It seemed you were rather restless last night."

"I'm sorry Mum," Catherine said quietly. "I didn't mean to keep you up."

"It's no bother, Catherine," Jane said waving off her apology. "But will you please tell me what's got you so upset."

"It's nothing Mum, I'm fine," Catherine said, turning back to the coffee pot.

"Bollocks, Catherine!" Jane exclaimed, pounding her fist against the table. Catherine jumped and turned to look at her mother, whose expression was now bordering on infuriated. Catherine stared at her, gobsmacked. Her mother very rarely got this angry and she swore even less. "You're not fine, I can tell by your face. You've been crying and you obviously didn't get much sleep last night, not to mention the last few. Now what is going on?"

The two stood in silence, glaring at each other until the coffee pot began to beep. Catherine turned back and poured herself a cup, then, after a moment's hesitation, joined her mother at the table.

"I've been," Catherine paused and took a deep breath, "dreaming. Dreaming about Sirius and, and that night," Catherine said slowly, after she had taken a sip of her coffee. Her mother nodded knowingly, as if this is what she had suspected all along, and reached across the table to grip Catherine's hand.

"It's all the talk about Hogwarts, I suppose," Jane said. "That's making you remember." Catherine nodded, tears coming to her eyes again.

"I've tried to fight it," Catherine said, as the tears began to make their way down her cheeks. "Tried not to think about it, about him, but the memories, they don't stop." Jane drew her daughter into a tight embrace and rubbed her back.

"Maybe you should let them come," Jane said quietly. Catherine shook her head, pulling away.

"I can't," she protested. "The kids, I can't let them see. I don't want to explain," she trailed off, looking down at the table. Jane sighed.

"Catherine, are you sure you won't look for him?" Jane asked.

"Mum, we've been over this," Catherine said, the tears stopping abruptly, her voice hard.

"Yes, but it was such a long time ago," Jane replied. "Things may have changed since then."

"Then he could have found me himself, couldn't he," Catherine said scowling.

"Maybe he tried, but you were with Daniel then," Jane continued. Catherine turned and glared at her, fury on her face.

"I will not chase after a man that made it clear I wasn't good enough for him," Catherine said through gritted teeth. "Hearing that twice in a lifetime is more than enough, thank you." Then she stood from the table and stalked out of the kitchen and back up to her room.

Jane watched her go and sighed in defeat. Catherine was stubborn, there was no denying that. Still, something told Jane that unless Catherine dealt with these memories of Sirius, perhaps even found and spoke to him again, she would never be able to close the door on the past. She wished again that she had done something more to help her daughter all those years ago. She had tried, but when Catherine had resisted, Jane had left her alone, not wanting to reopen the rift between them that had finally seemed to have closed.

If there were ever a time Jane wished she were part of Catherine's world it was now. She had no idea how she would even begin to go about finding a wizard, or if she even could. Regardless, there was still something she could do to help, even if it wasn't much. Finishing her tea, Jane put her cup in the sink and made her way to her bedroom to ready herself for the day.

* * *

Catherine paced in her room, still furious with her mother. How could she even suggest that? _Why_ would she suggest it? Her mother knew, she had seen how Catherine had fallen apart, both times. She never wanted to suffer that kind of pain again, she couldn't. She didn't know if she would make it through to the other side a third time.

Catherine sat down on her bed and scrubbed her hands down her face. The sun was fully up now and it would only be a matter of time before the children were awake. She needed to shower and make herself presentable in order to avoid the questions she knew would most certainly be asked if they saw her in the state she was now. Gulping down the rest of her coffee, Catherine grimaced, then went into the loo to try and pull herself together.

When Catherine had finished her morning routine, she stepped from her room and was surprised to see three empty bedrooms as she walked down the hall. All three of the children were already up, Ellie had even made her bed. Confused, Catherine went back downstairs to find the three of them sitting at the table, dressed and eating breakfast. Her mother was at the stove scooping more eggs into a bowl.

"Oh Catherine, you're back," her mother said smiling. "Sit down and have some breakfast." Catherine did as she was told, picking up a piece of toast and buttering it.

"I'm surprised you three are up and dressed already," she said to her children.

"Mummy, Grandma is taking us to London today!" Miranda exclaimed. Catherine stopped, piece of toast halfway to her mouth, and looked at her youngest daughter.

"What?" she asked having no idea what was going on.

"I thought I would take the children into London for the day," her mother said, spooning some eggs onto Catherine's plate. "We haven't been there in ages and it will give you a chance to deal with some things you've been neglecting here." Jane gave her daughter a pointed look and Catherine's eyes narrowed. Ellie, ever the observant one, glanced from her mother to her grandmother and back again.

"Is everything all right Mum?" the girl asked, concern in her voice. With one last glare at her mother, Catherine turned to her daughter.

"Of course sweetheart, everything's fine," she smiled at her daughter but Ellie just looked back at Jane, her brows furrowed in thought. Catherine glanced around the table and saw that all three of the children seemed to be finished with their breakfast.

"Why don't the three of you go and wash up and get your shoes," she said. "I'm sure Grandma wants to get an early start." Rory and Miranda jumped up and quickly hurried upstairs. Ellie rose more slowly, still looking back and forth between the two adults in the room as if worried they would attack each other once she left.

"Ellie, it's fine," Catherine said again. She reached and put a hand on her daughter's arm. "I promise." Ellie just nodded and left the kitchen, looking back over her shoulder as she reached the stairs. Once she was sure that all three children were out of earshot, Catherine turned back to her mother.

"Do you mind telling me what this is all about?" she asked, her mouth in a tight line, arms crossed in front of her.

"I just thought you could use a day to yourself," Jane said shrugging as she cleared away the children's plates. "Now eat your eggs before they get cold."

"Mother, I am not a child," Catherine said, her voice rising.

"Then stop acting like one," Jane snapped, turning back to her. Catherine's mouth fell open in amazement, then clamped shut in anger. Jane sighed and sat down at the table next to her daughter.

"Catherine," Jane began in a placating voice, but Catherine just glared at her. "Sweetheart, I just thought that you might use a day on your own. To collect yourself or think some things through or whatever you wanted to do. I'm sorry I didn't check with you first, but it was a bit of a last minute plan."

Catherine tried to stay angry with her mother, to be upset at the audacity of her assumption, but she simply couldn't. She was tired and truthfully, a day to herself did sound extremely appealing.

"I know that you don't want to hear this," Jane continued. "But you need to deal with those memories. If nothing else than to be able to talk to your children about Hogwarts without breaking down. You know how observant Ellie is." Catherine said nothing, just looked down at the eggs on her plate, which were now growing cold. Her mother was still looking at her, Catherine could feel it, but she couldn't bring herself to say anything.

Finally, Jane sighed and patted her arm, then rose and continued to clear away the dishes, rinsing them and putting them into the dishwasher. When she was finished, she came and stood in front of Catherine once again. Catherine finally looked up at her mother and gave her a watery smile. She took her mother's hand and squeezed, saying in that one gesture everything she couldn't put into words. Jane squeezed back and nodded, going to the stairs and calling the children down.

"Come along dears," Jane said.

"What no hugs for your Mum?" Catherine asked, standing to the side as her children came pounding down the stairs. Miranda ran to her first throwing her arms around her mother's waist and squeezing tightly. Catherine smiled and bent down and kissed the little girl on top of her head. Rory gave her a quick, one-armed hug around the waist, then ran to the front door. Ellie approached more cautiously, suspicious look on her face as her mother held out her arms to her daughter.

"El, I'm fine," Catherine insisted, putting a hand to her daughter's cheek. "Go and have fun with your grandmother." She smiled, hoping it looked genuine. Ellie must have been convinced, or else she had decided it was worthless to argue, for she quickly hugged her mother and followed her brother and sister to the door.

"Be good, listen to Grandma," Catherine called as the children ran to the car outside. She turned to her mother as the older woman put on her shoes. "Thank you Mum." Jane turned back to her and smiled, pulling her daughter to her.

"Don't be scared to think about things," Jane said quietly. "Pushing things down and ignoring them isn't the best way to deal with them either." Catherine simply nodded. Jane gave her arm a final squeeze and then made to follow the children outside.

"We'll be back by dinner," Jane said as she opened the door.

"I'll be waiting," Catherine replied and then they were gone. Catherine stood for a minute in the silence of the house, wondering just exactly how to go about this. Did she just sit down on the couch and wait for the memories to flood over her? It seemed a bit ridiculous when she thought about it that way.

She tried to pull something to the forefront of her mind, tried to pick up where the dreams had left off this morning, but every time she got close, her mind would shut down and push the memory away. She snorted thinking that here she was, actually wanting to remember, and now she couldn't. Giving it up as a bad job, she turned to the garden door and went outside. She would weed the vegetable patch and trim the hedges that were starting to look a bit shaggy. Just because she couldn't do what her mother wanted, didn't mean she should waste the day.

Catherine walked to the shed and pulled out the hedge clippers. She made her way to the back of the garden where the row of hedges divided their garden from the neighbor's and began to trim. Her thoughts seemed to fall away until she was thinking of nothing at all. The rhythmic snipping of the clippers lulled her into a kind of trance and when she heard the neighbor boy yell out to one of his mates, "Oi, Pete," she was transported back to another time and another boy named Peter.

* * *

**December 1976**

"Oi, Peter," she heard a voice call and Catherine turned around to see Sirius standing at the end of the corridor, his back to her, calling out to Peter who must have been around the corner. Catherine stood and watched as Sirius waited, rather impatiently it looked to her, until Peter walked back to where Sirius was standing. It was three days until the Christmas holidays and Catherine was supposed to be meeting Sirius in her study room to practice Transfiguration.

She had been doing much better in the last couple of months and they had dropped their meetings to once a week. Catherine thought that they might be able to forgo the tutoring sessions all together in a month or two, but the thought of that made her sad, surprisingly enough. She looked back at Sirius and saw that Peter had now reached him and the two were speaking in hushed tones.

Not knowing why she did it, Catherine edged closer to the pair, hiding behind a suit of armor. She could just make out their muttered conversation and while she berated herself for eavesdropping, she couldn't seem to stop.

"No Wormtail," Sirius was saying and Catherine rolled her eyes at the ridiculous nickname. "I told you, it's tomorrow night."

"Oh, right, right," Peter said, his beady eyes darting around the corridor as if they were going to be set upon by someone at any moment. "I forgot."

"I don't understand you, it's been almost five years now and you still forget when the full moon is almost every month," Sirius said exasperatedly.

"S-sorry Sirius," Peter stuttered as Sirius just shook his head.

"So meet us outside, like usual," Sirius said. "Only two of us fit under the cloak anymore." Peter nodded and walked back the way he had come. Sirius turned and walked in the direction of Catherine's study room.

Catherine stood behind the suit of armor for a few moments, waiting until she could no longer hear Sirius in the corridor. Why had they been talking about the full moon? And why would they need to be under a cloak? Catherine's eyes narrowed in concentration, but none of it made sense. She started, realizing she was going to be late if she didn't hurry and turned to follow Sirius' path to her study room.

When she approached the door a few minutes later, Sirius was standing there waiting for her. They had discovered, not long ago, that Catherine's alohomora was the only one that would work on the door. Catherine had questioned this, as usual, but Sirius had just shrugged and said, 'magic' to which Catherine rolled her eyes.

"So, what are we working on this week?" Sirius asked, as he shut the door behind the two of them.

"Actually, nothing," Catherine replied, smiling at him.

"Nothing?" he repeated and Catherine shook her head.

"No, we finished with the guinea fowl into guinea pig spell and that was the last for this term," Catherine said.

"Brilliant," Sirius said, standing. "There are more fun things to do than this anyway." He turned and walked toward the door and Catherine's face fell. So he didn't really like coming here and helping her. She had suspected as much all along. The thought of why he continued to help, if he didn't want to, never crossed her mind, as her anger grew instead. Well, if he would rather be doing something else, fine. She had better things to do than hang around a prat like Sirius Black anyway.

She sat down on the sofa and pulled out her Charms book, intent on starting on the essay Professor Flitwick had assigned for the Christmas holiday. Sirius had reached the door and looked back, but Catherine pointedly ignored him.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Charms," she said tightly.

"But, why?" he asked, looking confused.

"Unlike you Black, some of us actually care about our grades," Catherine huffed.

"Black?" he repeated, looking at her stupidly. "You're calling me Black again now?"

"That is your name, isn't it?" Catherine asked.

"Well, yes, but," he broke off, brow furrowed in confusion as he looked at her. "Catherine, what did I do?" She looked up at him, eyes widening in surprise. Was he that much of a git that he didn't realize what he'd said?

"I thought you had better things to do than help me," she said, not looking at him. She tried to read her Charms book, but the words swam on the page. She risked a quick glance upward and saw Sirius standing with a focused look on his face, as if he were trying to recall their conversation. She watched as comprehension slowly dawned and then looked back down at her book.

"Catherine, I didn't mean," Sirius began, but Catherine refused to look at him. He walked towards her and squatted down in front of her, taking the book out of her hands so she was forced to look at him. "I didn't mean that I didn't want to help you or that I didn't enjoy doing it. I just meant that if we didn't have to study, we could find something more fun to do." Catherine looked away from him, embarrassed now.

"I'm sorry," she said, looking down at her lap.

"Don't apologize," he said. "I'm sorry for the way it came out." He smiled at her and stood, holding out a hand. "Come on." She looked at him for a moment, before taking his hand and standing herself.

"Where are we going?" she asked, as he led her to the door.

"You'll see," he said, grinning. "Don't worry about your books, we'll come back for them." The two left the room and Catherine was very aware of the fact that Sirius was still holding her hand. He seemed not to notice though as he towed her along through the corridors, smile still on his face. They made their way back to the main staircase and walked down it, going through a door to the right at the bottom. Sirius stopped in front of a large painting of fruit and reached out and, much to Catherine's surprise, tickled a pear in the painting. The pear giggled and then a door handle appeared in the middle of it. Sirius looked back at Catherine and grinned, opening the door and, finally letting go of her hand, ushered her through. Catherine looked at him suspiciously, but entered, only to be surrounded by more house elves than she had ever seen.

"What can we get for Miss?" one elf asked her, as she looked back at Sirius her eyes wide. Sirius laughed his loud, bark-like laugh that always made Catherine smile. Noticing him for the first time, the elves then surrounded Sirius. "Mister Black, sir, what can we's get you?" the same elf that had addressed Catherine asked.

"Tea and some biscuits, I think, Daisy," Sirius said to the elf, who bowed and turned back to her fellows, who all began to busy themselves preparing the food.

"Sirius, what?" Catherine stopped, unable to say anything else, just turning and staring at everything around her. Sirius chuckled and then led her to a table on one side of the room.

"I told you I'd show you sometime," he said, smiling at her.

"This is," Catherine paused, looking around her again. "This is amazing." She saw the four long tables sitting in the main part of the room and realized they must sit directly under the tables in the Great Hall. "So that's how they do it," she said, staring at the tables in awe.

"Don't tell me the great Ravenclaw hadn't figured out how we got our meals every day," Sirius said in mock horror. "And after more than three years too." Catherine stuck out her tongue at him.

"Muggle, remember?" she said waspishly. "I had no idea what house-elves were until we learned about them in History of Magic."

"You actually learned something in that class?" Sirius asked, quirking an eyebrow at her. She stuck her tongue out at him again and he laughed. "I'm only teasing." Catherine smiled in spite of herself.

Seconds later, three house elves came to the table with trays of tea, biscuits, tarts, scones and pies. Catherine just looked at Sirius incredulously and he laughed again.

"They don't do anything part way," he said.

"I can see that," Catherine replied wryly.

"Can we's get sir and miss anything else?" the elf named Daisy asked, but Sirius just shook his head.

"No thank you, Daisy," he said and the elves bowed again, returning to whatever tasks they had been working on before Sirius and Catherine entered.

"They know your name, I see," Catherine said, taking a sip of her tea.

"Oh sure, we come down here quite often," Sirius said. "After all, what would a Quidditch celebration be without food? And then I was here quite a bit a couple of months ago." He frowned, remembering his estrangement from his mates.

"You never did tell me what that was about," Catherine said, as nonchalantly as she could.

"And I still can't," Sirius said, smirking at her. Catherine shrugged as if it didn't matter, but she was drawn back to the overheard conversation between Sirius and Peter. Something was prodding at the back of her mind, but she couldn't quite grasp the thought. Shaking her head, she turned back to the tart on her plate, deciding to forget about it for now.

* * *

She and Sirius made their way back to the study room an hour later, after literally stuffing themselves with food and tea. As they entered the room, Catherine flopped onto the couch and groaned.

"Ugh, I won't be able to eat for a week," she said, closing her eyes and putting a hand to her stomach.

"Told you that last scone was a bad idea," he said cheekily. She opened one eye and looked at him.

"Shut it you," she said, closing it again. He laughed as he picked up her bag and began putting her book and parchment back in it. Then he slung it over his shoulder and held a hand out to her again.

"Come on," he said pulling her to her feet. "I'll walk you back to your tower." She held out a hand for her bag, but he shook his head. "I'll get it."

"Sirius, I'm capable of carrying my own bag," Catherine said, but he waved her off.

"It's no problem." He took her by the hand again and led her out of the room. When they reached the corridor, Catherine expected him to let go of her hand, but he held fast. Something in her middle squirmed, but she was unsure if it was the vast quantities of food she had just consumed or something else. They walked in silence back to Ravenclaw tower and when they reached the door, Sirius stopped and turned to her. He took her bag off his shoulder and gave it to her, still holding her hand. Catherine looked at him, unable to break his gaze. He leaned toward her and she held her breath and then closed her eyes. He placed a quick kiss on her cheek and then pulled away.

"Happy Christmas Catherine," he said softly and then turned and began to walk away.

"Happy Christmas Sirius," she repeated watching his retreating back as he made his way down the stairs.

* * *

**July 1993**

Catherine abruptly shook her head, coming back to herself. She gasped in a breath and closed her eyes, wondering just how much more she was going to be able to take, but knowing that the memories wouldn't stop until she had been through them all. She looked at the hedge she had been trimming and saw the huge hole in the middle.

"Wonderful," she said, sighing. Looking down at the branches on the ground, she pursed her lips thinking. Setting down the clippers, Catherine went into the house and walked up to her bedroom. She sat down on the bed and pulled open the drawer of her nightstand. She picked up her wand and held it loosely in one hand. After studying it for a moment, she put on a determined face and went back down to the garden.

Looking around to make sure she wasn't being watched, Catherine pointed her wand at the branches on the ground and uttered 'reparo' under her breath. The branches quickly rose into the air and reattached themselves. Smiling in spite of herself, Catherine looked at the now once again shaggy hedge. She could trim it with magic, she supposed, but she could get caught by a neighbor and she wasn't exactly sure what spell to use or how. Perhaps when she took Ellie to get her school things, she could look for a book on household spells. Deciding that she would save the hedges from any further possible mutilation due to her inattentiveness, Catherine returned the clippers to the shed and went back inside.

She lay down on the sofa, hugging a throw pillow to her chest. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, willing her thoughts forward once again, only this time, her mind did not turn them away, but grasped on to them greedily as if feeding a starving man.

* * *

**December 1976**

Myra and Catherine boarded the train, finding an empty compartment and settling into it. Knowing that they would most likely be joined by others at some point in the trip, Myra looked at Catherine.

"All right, spill," she said. Catherine looked back at her, feigning confusion.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she said, trying to look innocent.

"Don't give me that," Myra said, rolling her eyes. "I know there is something going on between you and Sirius Black, so out with it."

"We're just studying together," Catherine said. "I told you that."

"Uh-huh and you also turned the guinea fowl into a guinea pig on the second day you tried, so obviously you've improved enough in Transfiguration that you don't need his help anymore," Myra pointed out. "Yet you're still meeting with him." Catherine blushed and looked away.

"I knew it!" Myra crowed. "There is something going on!"

"No, there's not," Catherine insisted.

"Yes, there is," Myra returned and Catherine sighed in exasperation.

"Fine, he kissed me all right?" she snapped and Myra's eyes went wide.

"He-he kissed you?" Myra sputtered.

"Why, what did you think?" Catherine asked, cursing herself for her outburst.

"I just thought you fancied him. But he kissed you?" Myra squealed.

"Just on the cheek," Catherine was quick to point out, but she couldn't help the grin that spread across her face. "After he held my hand. Twice." Myra squealed again and soon the two girls were deep in conversation about what had happened and just what it all might mean.

"He fancies you," Myra insisted for the third time, as Catherine shook her head yet again.

"No, we're just friends, that's all," she said.

"Catherine, he kissed you," Myra replied.

"Only on the cheek," Catherine said. "It didn't mean anything." Myra huffed in exasperation.

"Why won't you even consider that he might like you, for more than a friend," she continued before Catherine could interrupt.

"He's a sixth year, Myra," Catherine said.

"So what?" Myra replied. "My dad is three years older than my mum. That doesn't mean anything."

"I know but he's used to girls with, well, loads more experience than me," Catherine continued. "I've never even kissed anyone before. And besides, he could have any girl in the school that he wants. Why would he pick me?"

"Why wouldn't he pick you?" Myra asked. "Don't sell yourself short Catherine."

"It doesn't matter anyway," Catherine said. "I don't want to be one more notch on his bedpost. And that's all Sirius Black looks for, a snog in a broom closet." Myra opened her mouth to speak, but Catherine shook her head indicating that the subject was closed.

Before Myra could try again, the door to their compartment opened and Ian Cauldwell stood in the doorway.

"Hi," he said shyly and Myra immediately blushed. Catherine smirked, wondering how Myra would feel about having the tables turned on her. "I was wondering, that is," Ian trailed off, his own face red. He cleared his throat and looked at Myra and then Catherine came to his aid.

"Hi, Ian," she said, ushering the Hufflepuff inside. "Why don't you keep Myra company for a few minutes, I was just leaving to go to the loo." Catherine left the compartment, closing the door behind her and walked down the corridor of the train car. She stopped at the end and stood looking out the window at the scenery flying by. She would wait out here for a while, she decided.

Her thoughts returned unbidden to Sirius and what had happened between the two of them. Did it mean something like Myra suggested? Catherine wasn't sure if she wanted it to. While she knew that Sirius could be sweet and kind and helpful, he was still a prat most of the time. The pranks hadn't slowed down any, despite the fact that he had already turned 17 and the rest of his friends were close to it as well. Not to mention the steady line of girls he had parading after him, none of them lasting more than a week or two.

But then there was the swooping feeling in her stomach whenever she saw him and the way she'd held her breath when she thought he was going to kiss her. Her heart beat a little bit faster any time he was around and she was oddly disappointed when he had cancelled on her the month before, saying that he had forgotten something he was supposed to do with his friends that night. Catherine leaned forward to rest her forehead against the glass of the window and groaned. Myra was right, she fancied Sirius Black.

So caught up in her thoughts, Catherine didn't hear the door to the adjoining car open. Still looking out the window, she startled when a voice whispered in her ear.

"Well, if it isn't our resident mudblood." Catherine whirled around and came face to face with Jeffrey Dewhurst. He was a 7th year in her house. Stewart Lancaster, another 7th year, stood next to him. She reached surreptitiously into her pocket for her wand and realized that she had left it in her bag in her compartment. Glancing over the boys' shoulders, she saw they were completely alone in the corridor and while she had no doubt that if they tried anything noisy it would bring people pouring out of their compartments, she also had no doubt that Dewhurst and Lancaster were more than able to cast silencing charms.

"Really Dewhurst," Catherine said, crossing her arms in front of her, trying to look unaffected. "Can't you come up with anything more original? Isn't the whole mudblood bit quite overdone?" Dewhurst's lips narrowed in anger and she saw Lancaster grasp his wand more tightly. "If you'll excuse me," she said, moving to push past the two boys, but Lancaster grabbed her arm and pushed her back against the window. Catherine looked down at the hand on her arm and then back at the boy and smirked.

"Careful Lancaster," she said. "You might catch something. . . foul." Stewart dropped her arm as if burned and she laughed and tried to move around the two of them again. Dewhurst pointed his wand at her and flicked it, causing Catherine to stop in her tracks. She tried to move, but was unable to and realized he had cast an impediment jinx on her. Cursing silently, she glared at the two boys and they both smirked.

"I don't think you're going anywhere mudblood," Dewhurst said and began to twirl his wand lazily between his fingers. "What do you think we should do with her Stew?" he asked his friend and Lancaster just grinned widely.

"Well, Jeffrey, I think we should take this little party somewhere a bit more private, don't you? I don't think we want to risk being disturbed." Lancaster leered at her.

"Too true," Dewhurst replied, looking contemplatively at Catherine. "Of course, we'll have to obliviate her after. Wouldn't want to risk her tattling on us, now would we? I sure hope I remember exactly what to do. It would be a shame if she ended up in St. Mungo's with her mind gone." Dewhurst faked a pout and then sneered at her and Catherine was instantly afraid. She opened her mouth to yell, but Dewhurst silenced her with a wave of his wand before she could make a sound. Catherine's heart began to pound in her chest and her eyes slid left and right, begging in her mind for someone to step out of their compartment. They hadn't been on the train for very long though, people weren't looking for friends yet or needing to use the loo.

Just as Dewhurst took hold of her arm and made to pull her toward the door to the adjoining car, she heard it slide open. The three looked up and saw Sirius Black and Remus Lupin standing in the opening. Catherine felt her eyes close in relief and then her gaze met Sirius'. He was looking at her in confusion, which changed to hard steel as he saw the fear in her eyes.

"I suggest you let the lady go," Sirius said, dangerously quiet as Remus quickly caught on and pulled his wand from his pocket. The four boys raised their wands almost as one, Dewhurst still holding tightly to Catherine's arm.

"Lady?" Dewhurst snorted. "I don't know who you're talking about Black. There's nothing but a mudblood here."

Sirius stepped forward quicker than Catherine could even fathom and pushed the tip of his wand into Dewhurst's throat. Remus kept his trained on Lancaster, who was now looking back and forth between the two Gryffindors almost fearfully, Catherine noticed.

"Say that again, Dewhurst," Sirius growled. "And it will be the last thing out of your mouth." The two continued to stare at each other, but Catherine saw the bob of Dewhurst's Adam's apple as he swallowed.

"Come on Jeff, let's go," Lancaster said. Dewhurst looked to his friend, then roughly pushed Sirius off of him, letting go of Catherine in the process.

"Out of my way, you filthy blood traitor," Dewhurst spat at Sirius as he pushed past him, knocking into Remus for good measure.

"Careful Dewhurst," Remus said as the other boy knocked against him. "You wouldn't want me to take points." Dewhurst glared at Remus as he followed Lancaster. The two Gryffindors watched the 7th years as they passed back into the adjoining car, then turned back to Catherine.

"Are you all right?" Sirius asked, concern evident on his face. Catherine opened her mouth to speak, but realized she was still under Dewhurst's spell. She waved a hand at her throat and Remus, recognizing the problem, pointed his wand at Catherine and said 'finite' and Catherine found she could both speak and move.

"I, I'm f-fine," she said as she began to shake. She wrapped her arms around herself and blinked rapidly, trying to keep the tears that were forming from falling. Remus looked at her in concern and took a step forward, but Sirius was quicker, taking her in his arms and holding her tightly. Her hands reached up and fisted in the front of his robes, hiding her face in his chest and sobbing. He rubbed her back and murmured to her, but it wasn't until he kissed her temple that Catherine came back to herself and pulled away from him. Remus conjured a handkerchief and handed it to her. She smiled gratefully and wiped her face.

"Sorry," she said, looking sheepishly at Sirius, her face heating. Sirius waved off her apology and Remus looked at her sympathetically.

"What happened?" he asked. Catherine explained the confrontation and when she was finished, she was surprised to see how angry Sirius was. "Is this what you've been dealing with in your common room?" he asked.

"The name calling, yes," she said shrugging. "It's never gotten physical before though." She shuddered as she thought about the look on Lancaster's face and could imagine just what he'd had in mind when he had talked about privacy.

"Catherine you have to tell Flitwick," Sirius insisted, taking her by the arms.

"They'll just keep doing it if you don't," Remus agreed.

"Look, it's not that big of a deal," Catherine said. "I can handle it."

"It really looked like you were handling it when we came in," Sirius said angrily.

"I left my wand in my compartment, that's all," Catherine insisted. "If I'd had it, nothing would have happened."

"You really think you could have defeated two 7th years, even with your wand?" Sirius asked. "No offense Catherine, you're brilliant, but you're only a fourth year. They would have disarmed you in seconds." Catherine glared at him, but knew he was right. Dewhurst _was_ rather proficient at nonverbal casting.

"They won't try anything at school," she said, pouting.

"Really?" Sirius said, raising an eyebrow. "After they just attacked you in the middle of the train corridor where anyone could have walked out and seen them?"

"They didn't attack," Catherine began to argue, but trailed off. "Fine, if it gets worse after break, I'll tell Professor Flitwick," she said, irritation in her voice. "Happy now?"

"Immensely," Sirius said, smirking at her. "Come on, we'll walk you back to your compartment."

"You don't need to," Catherine said, still annoyed.

"Humor me," he said, smiling at her. She heard Remus chuckle behind them.

"Fine," she said. The trio walked back to Catherine and Myra's compartment, but Catherine stopped before they reached the door. "Wait," she said.

"What's the matter?" Sirius asked.

"Well the reason I left in the first place was because Myra got a visitor," she said. "Of the boy variety."

"Ah," said Sirius, understanding instantly. He took a small step forward and peeked through the window of the compartment. "All clear," he said, grinning at her when he stepped back. "No snogging in sight." Catherine just rolled her eyes as she opened the compartment door.

"Hey," she said as Myra and Ian looked up. Catherine noticed their clasped hands before they quickly moved apart from one another. Myra looked beyond Catherine and saw Sirius and Remus standing in the doorway and her eyes got wide. Catherine just shook her head and turned back to the two Gryffindors.

"Thanks," she said and they both nodded.

"Happy Christmas Catherine," Remus said. "Myra, Ian."

"Happy Christmas," the three returned. Remus turned and stepped back, but Sirius lingered.

"Please be careful," he said quietly, his eyes locking with hers. His hand twitched towards her, then he looked at the others sitting watching him and he ran it through his hair. "Have a good holiday."

"You too," Catherine said and he turned and walked away with Remus.

Once Sirius and Remus had left, Ian stood and turned to Myra.

"I should probably get going," he said, shifting from foot to foot nervously.

"Okay," Myra replied. The two just sat there looking at each other.

"Well, bye then," Ian said. "Have a happy Christmas."

"Thanks," Myra said. "You too."

"Catherine," Ian said, nodding to her and Catherine smiled as he walked out the door. Once the door had closed and his footsteps had died away, Catherine turned to Myra who was a rather impressive shade of red. Catherine studied her friend, tapping her lips with her finger.

"Who was it that was just tormenting me about fancying Sirius?" she asked in mock confusion as Myra looked away.

"Stop it Catherine," said Myra, trying for anger, but giggling instead. Catherine joined in and soon the two were discussing the intimate details of Myra and Ian's conversation.

"He asked me to go with him to the next Hogsmeade weekend," Myra confessed, as her cheeks colored again. Catherine squealed in delight.

"That's wonderful, Myra," she said and Myra nodded.

"Now, enough about that, what about you?" Myra asked.

"What about me?" Catherine asked, trying to sound innocent.

"Sirius Black. Remus Lupin. Coming to our compartment. Ring a bell?" Myra asked, staring at her friend. Catherine looked down at her lap, her expression changing from one of innocence to one of fear. "Catherine what happened?" Myra asked in concern now and Catherine proceeded to relate what had happened in the corridor. When she was finished, Myra stood up and began to pace in the small space of the compartment.

"Those, those, bloody wankers!" she thundered.

"Myra, shhh," Catherine urged. "I don't want the whole school to hear."

"Thank Merlin Sirius and Remus found you," Myra breathed, sinking down onto the seat next to Catherine. "I'm so sorry Catherine," she said, hugging her friend. Catherine hugged her back, a few tears leaking from her eyes before she composed herself and quickly wiped them from her face.

"Don't worry about it, I'm fine now and nothing really happened," Catherine said, putting a smile on her face. Myra made to protest, but decided to drop it.

"So, Sirius rescued you then?" she asked, trying not to smile.

"_And_ Remus," Catherine said scowling at her.

"Right," Myra said, covering her mouth with her hand to try and stifle a giggle. Catherine rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"Fine, you win, I fancy Sirius Black," Catherine said.

"I knew it!" Myra exclaimed. "And from what I saw when he came in here, he fancies you too."

"No he doesn't," Catherine insisted.

"Catherine, he was going to touch your cheek and he would have, if Ian and I hadn't been here," Myra insisted. Catherine looked sharply at her.

"How do you know that?" she asked.

"You didn't see that lame move he made with his hand? Running it through his hair at the last minute?" Myra asked. Catherine shrugged.

"I guess," she said. "Are you sure that's what he was going to do?"

"Trust me," Myra said. "I'm sure."

"Oh," was all Catherine said and then she turned and looked out the window, deep in thought. Myra just shook her head and stretched out on her seat, seemingly content to let her friend figure it out on her own.


	5. Disappointment and Discovery

**A/N - Next chapter for you - all flashbacks this time! This will be the only chapter this week as I am going out of town and will not have access to my computer. I will resume the two chapters a week posting next Tuesday. Thanks to my first reviewers - Starstruck99, Joushou-Sensei and Lady Isabelle Black. I love seeing those review notifications in my email! Thanks to all who have read and put this on alert as well. Hope you enjoy this chapter! **

**Chapter 5**

**Disappointment and Discovery**

**January 1977**

They had been back at school for two weeks after Christmas break and Catherine had yet to meet with Sirius. She had seen him a few times in the Great Hall at meals and passing in the corridors. He had smiled at her and nodded, but they hadn't spoken and Catherine was beginning to think that Myra had been wrong about what she'd said on the train. Catherine also got the feeling he was purposely avoiding her.

Her suspicions were confirmed later in the week when she unexpectedly ran into Sirius. She was on her way back from the library and was walking down the corridor with the hump backed witch statue. She heard noises and as she passed by the statue she saw Sirius and a girl she recognized as being from Hufflepuff, kissing. Catherine looked at them for a moment, then ran back the way she'd come, darting through secret passageways until she reached her tower.

Myra was in the common room, but Catherine didn't even spare her a glance as she ran up the stairs to the dormitory. She fell onto her bed and buried her face in her pillow. She had been so stupid, why did she think that someone like Sirius would like someone like her?

Myra came into the dorm a few minutes later and took one look at Catherine, then sunk down on her bed and wrapped her arms around her friend. Catherine hugged Myra tightly, but did not allow herself to break down. After a few moments, Catherine pulled away and busied herself with her schoolbag.

"What happened?" Myra asked.

"Nothing," Catherine said.

"That didn't look like nothing," Myra replied, narrowing her eyes.

"I just realized Sirius doesn't fancy me," Catherine shrugged. "I saw him snogging a Hufflepuff a few minutes ago."

"Oh Catherine, I'm sorry," Myra said, putting a hand on her arm.

"It doesn't matter," Catherine said. "I never thought he did anyway." She pulled her Charms book out of her bag and opened it up.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Myra asked, but Catherine shook her head.

"There's nothing to talk about," Catherine replied. She pulled parchment, quill and ink from her bag and proceeded to begin her Charms essay. Myra watched her for a moment and then stood, leaving the dorm and making her way back to the common room. Catherine waited until she heard the door to their dormitory shut before letting the tears that were glittering in her eyes fall.

**February 1977**

January passed into February and Catherine's 15th birthday was quickly upon them on the 3rd. Myra had gotten a cake from the house-elves and they had a small celebration in their dormitory with their two other roommates. Catherine had not seen Sirius much at all in the last few weeks, although it could have been because she was purposely trying to avoid him. She didn't make eye contact with him in the Great Hall and refused to look at him when they passed each other in the halls. She had seen Remus looking at her strangely a few times, but she didn't meet his eyes either. She and Sirius had not met to work on Transfiguration and while Catherine thought that she didn't need help any longer, she was once again having problems. Refusing to believe it had anything to do with Sirius, Catherine simply practiced more and more, although things did not get any better.

The next Hogsmeade weekend was coming up over Valentine's Day and Catherine had told Myra that she wouldn't be going. She didn't want to tag along with Myra and Ian and all of their other friends seemed to have dates as well.

"Just come with us," Myra begged again. "Ian won't mind."

"Myra," Catherine said for the third time. "I'm not coming along on your date. Besides, it's not like I haven't been into Hogsmeade loads of times."

"But what will you do?" Myra asked.

"Homework, there's that Defense against the Dark Arts essay and then Transfiguration of course," Catherine said.

"Maybe you should ask," Myra began, but Catherine interrupted her.

"I'm not going to ask Sirius," Catherine said shortly. Myra just shook her head and sighed, but she stopped bothering her friend.

* * *

The day of the Hogsmeade visit, Catherine found herself in the library, working on her Defense Against the Dark Arts essay. They were studying werewolves and something kept poking at the back of Catherine's mind as she listed the characteristics of a werewolf, but every time Catherine tried to grasp at the thought, it ran away from her. Trying to push it from her mind, Catherine didn't notice the person approaching her until she heard her name.

"Hello Catherine," Remus Lupin said, looking down at her.

"Hi Remus," Catherine replied, giving him a small smile.

"Do you mind if I sit down?" he asked.

"No, of course not," Catherine said indicating the chair across from her.

"How was your holiday?" Remus asked.

"Good, yours?" Catherine replied.

"Just fine," Remus answered. "Those 7th years haven't been causing any more problems have they?"

"No," Catherine said. "But I don't spend a lot of time in the common room."

"What are you working on?" Remus asked.

"Werewolf essay," Catherine replied and Remus seemed to freeze for a moment, then smiled at her.

"Not going into Hogsmeade today?" he asked and Catherine shook her head.

"Too many couples," she said.

"Yes, I know how that goes," he said smirking. "Have you spoken to Sirius lately?" Catherine looked at him in surprise.

"No, why should I have?" Catherine replied.

"No reason," Remus said shrugging. "He just told me that the two of you were studying together quite a bit last term."

"That was last term," Catherine said quietly.

"I'm sure that he would want to help you if you still needed it," Remus continued.

"No need," said Catherine. She could feel Remus' eyes on her, but she refused to look at him.

"Well, I guess I'll let you get back to your work," he said, rising from the chair.

"Bye," Catherine said. Remus gave her a nod and then walked away. Catherine shook her head wondering what that had been about. As she continued with her essay, her earlier thoughts continued to poke at her. As she read over her book, the previous conversation she had overheard between Sirius and Peter worked its way to the forefront of her mind. She thought about what Sirius had said about the full moon and meeting Peter outside. Her brow furrowed at the memory of Sirius cancelling their study session the one week in November and suddenly her breath caught in her throat.

She quickly gathered up her books and parchment and shoving them in her bag, ran back to her dorm. She pulled out her calendar and flipped back to November. Scanning through the weeks, she found the date that Sirius had cancelled and saw the full moon sign printed in the small square. Catherine sank down onto her bed, her mind whirling thinking of Sirius and Peter discussing the full moon. What were they doing? They wouldn't be dumb enough to look for a werewolf would they? They were stupid, sure, but they couldn't be _that_ stupid. Besides, Sirius had said something about full moons for the last five years. Even if they were mad enough to be hunting for werewolves, it certainly wouldn't have kept their attention for that long. The Marauders were easily distracted.

So what then? Catherine lay back on her bed and contemplated the canopy above her. It was silent in the dormitory, but her thoughts were creating a cacophony of noise in her head. She almost had it, she knew. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes and just let the thoughts whirl. She didn't try to grasp on any one thing, she just let them mix and coalesce in her mind. After a few minutes she sat bolt upright in bed, her eyes snapping open. It couldn't be, could it? No, there was no way there was a werewolf at the school.

The whole thing was utterly ridiculous. Even if one of the Marauders was a werewolf, what would the others have to do with it? There had to be another explanation, some other reason that Sirius had had to remind Peter of the date of the full moon for the last five years. What if they all were? No that was crazy, there couldn't be one werewolf in the school, let alone four. Catherine knew that Peter couldn't be at least. A werewolf wouldn't have to be reminded of the date of the full moon, they could feel it without even having to look at the sky or a calendar.

Moony. Catherine's mind focused in on the nicknames. Nicknames she had always thought were just stupid, random names, but maybe they did have some kind of meaning. Remus was called Moony. Could it be him? Calm and quiet Remus, a werewolf? Then she thought of Remus' reaction to her werewolf essay. He had clearly been affected by her mentioning it, although he must have had the same assignment a couple of years before. And if he was the one, what did the other names mean? Padfoot, Prongs and Wormtail. They made no sense.

Catherine's head was starting to hurt trying to work it all out. And even if she did, there was no one to discuss it with. She would never tell anyone her theory without proof. She and Sirius hadn't spoken for weeks and she couldn't very well just walk up to Remus and ask him if he was a werewolf. She didn't know James Potter much at all and Peter Pettigrew gave her the creeps. She had only spoken to him once when Sirius had introduced them after they had run into Peter on their way to study. There was something about him that bothered Catherine. Maybe it was the shifty way he always seemed to be looking around or the way he followed James and Sirius around like a puppy.

Catherine lay back on her bed once again, closing her eyes and sighing. The next full moon was in three days and she decided to keep an eye on the Gryffindors and see if she noticed anything strange about their behavior.

* * *

Three days later, Catherine sat with Myra at dinner in the Great Hall and looked over at the Gryffindor table. Sirius, James and Peter were there, but Remus was nowhere to be found. The three Marauders had their heads close together and were talking quietly the entire meal. This was nothing new really, Catherine had seen the same thing many times over the last few years. She wished she could hear what they were talking about.

"Why don't you just go over and talk to him," Myra said and Catherine startled.

"Talk to who?" she asked.

"Sirius of course," Myra replied, shaking her head as if Catherine were slow.

"I don't have anything to say to him," Catherine said, turning back to her dinner.

"Really? Then why have you been staring at him for the last ten minutes?" Myra retorted, raising her eyebrows.

"I haven't," Catherine protested, but Myra just gave her a look. "Fine, I have, but it's not for the reason you think."

"What reason is it for then?" Myra asked, but Catherine just shook her head.

"It's not important," she replied. Myra looked at Catherine as if she were going to say something else, then just turned and went back to her food.

Catherine continued to glance toward the Marauder's table every few minutes, until the three boys stood and left the Great Hall. Gathering her things, she said a quick good-bye to Myra and followed behind them. Making as little noise as possible, Catherine trailed them until they reached the stairs to Gryffindor tower. Disappointed, Catherine realized they were just heading back to their common room and was about to go back to her own, when she saw James turn and look around. Catherine pressed herself into the shadows and held her breath.

"What is it Prongs?" Sirius asked, looking around as well. James' eyes narrowed and he cocked his head as if listening for something. After a few seconds, James shook his head and looked back to Sirius and Peter.

"I just thought I heard something," James replied. "Guess it was just my imagination."

"You're just jumpy," Peter said. "Full moon and all."

"Oh, then what's your excuse Wormtail?" Sirius asked. "You're jumpy all the time." James laughed and clapped Sirius on the back while Peter looked sheepish.

"Come on, let's get back to the common room," James said as he began to walk up the stairs again. "I hate full moon in winter. Moony's on his own for too long." The other two boys nodded their heads in agreement and followed behind James. Catherine stood still for a few moments more and was just about to leave when Sirius stopped and turned to look back down the stairs, brow furrowing. Catherine froze, her heart pounding. James and Peter, realizing that Sirius was no longer following them, stopped and turned back, just as Sirius sniffed the air.

Sniffed the air? What in Merlin's name was he doing? Catherine thought to herself.

"Padfoot?" James asked, as Sirius sniffed the air again.

"I thought I smelled," he trailed off, concentration on his face. After a few seconds, he shook his head and turned back to his friends. "Never mind." The three began to climb the stairs again, although this time they were all looking suspiciously around, as if expecting someone to jump out of the shadows at any moment.

Catherine waited until they had turned the corner at the top of the stairs and let out the breath she had been holding. She quickly made her way back to her own common room and walked up to her dormitory, throwing her bag onto her bed. Crossing to the window seat, she sat down and looked out the window at the lake. In the waning twilight, she could just make out Hagrid's hut and the edge of the Forbidden Forest. She leaned her head back against the stone wall behind her and thought about the conversation she had overheard.

It seemed as if her suspicions were correct and Remus was a werewolf. But what had James meant when he said he hated that Moony was on his own for too long? Perhaps, it was the fact that the nights were longer, so Remus was a werewolf for a longer period of time. But Catherine got the distinct feeling that James had meant something else.

Catherine wondered where Remus went for his transformations. It had to be somewhere out of the way, so no students would stumble upon it. And strong, werewolves were very strong, it had to be a place that could keep one in with no risk of escape. And quiet too, although she supposed that could be accomplished with a few good silencing spells. She wondered about the other dungeons she had often heard Filch mutter about. Not the dungeons where the Slytherin dorms were, but the ones that supposedly had been used for discipline. Catherine wasn't sure if she believed the cranky caretaker about that, but she supposed there must have been some kind of cells. It was a castle after all.

Surely though, Professor Dumbledore would not let Remus transform inside the castle. The way that students roamed this place, always stumbling upon things they shouldn't or finding their way into secret passageways or hidden tunnels, she doubted very much if he would take the risk. There were wards that could be put up, she knew, to discourage such discovery, but even those could be detected by older students.

So Remus must go somewhere else during the change. Maybe somewhere in the Forbidden Forest? Catherine knew there were all manner of creatures in the forest, she doubted whether a werewolf would seem out of place there. But he would still need to be kept contained somehow. Otherwise, what was to prevent him from coming onto the grounds or escaping into Hogsmeade?

And if he did go somewhere else, did Potter mean that the Marauders joined him at some point? That was the impression Catherine had gotten. But they couldn't, that would be utterly mad. No werewolf could control himself once in that form. There was no way that his friends could be near him unless they were just watching from somewhere safe. Still, she thought that might actually make it worse for Remus. Being able to smell or see them, but not get to them when his bloodlust took over.

Catherine rubbed her forehead with the tips of her fingers. She could feel a headache coming on and doubted whether she was going to be able to solve this mystery on her own. She needed more information, but who she was going to get it from she had no idea. She would wait, she decided, and see what happened tomorrow. Maybe she could get into the hospital wing somehow and see if Remus was recovering there.

Deciding to take advantage of her dormitory which was still empty for the moment, Catherine got up and walked back to her bed, pulling out her Transfiguration homework. Her heart gave a little lurch at the sight of the book, but Catherine ignored it and sat down on her bed to study.

* * *

The next morning after breakfast, Catherine did indeed make her way to the hospital wing. She was going to ask Madame Pomfrey for a headache potion, which wasn't entirely a lie, since the headache that had started the night before was still present, although it had dulled to a low ache. Sirius, James and Peter had been at breakfast, but Remus was absent once again. None of them seemed able to keep their eyes open, Peter having actually fallen asleep at the table, his head falling into his plate. Catherine chuckled as she remembered the expression on Peter's face when he jerked up after hitting the plate, small bits of egg stuck to his face.

She reached the hospital wing and opened the doors, scanning the room and noticing that only one bed seemed to be occupied. It was the only one with screens around it, at any rate. Catherine looked around and not seeing the matron, began to walk toward the bed.

"Miss Powell, what can I do for you?" Madame Pomfrey asked as she stepped from her office. Catherine jumped.

"Oh, Madame Pomfrey, you startled me," Catherine said. "I was wondering if I could get a headache potion." She smiled sweetly at the school nurse, who looked at her a bit suspiciously before nodding.

"All right, just a moment," Madame Pomfrey said and disappeared back into her office. Catherine bit her lip and glanced back to the screened bed, wanting more than anything to see who was behind it, but knowing that there was no way she could do so without being caught. Madame Pomfrey returned a few seconds later, empty handed.

"It seems I've just run out," she said, exasperatedly. "Could you come back later? I'll have to speak to Professor Slughorn. He was supposed to brew me more over the weekend but has failed to deliver them to me once again." The matron huffed in annoyance. Catherine's heart began to beat wildly as she realized that this was her chance.

"Oh, well, I was hoping to get some before my first class," Catherine said in a quiet voice. "It's Transfiguration you see, and I do need to keep my concentration up as much as possible. I'm ashamed to say I'm not doing so well in that class." Catherine let her lower lip tremble just a bit and looked down at the floor as if abashed. She allowed herself to glance up quickly at Madame Pomfrey and saw that the woman's expression had softened.

"All right dear, just sit down here," the nurse said, indicating a bed on her right. "I'll go down to Professor Slughorn's office right now and see if I can get some for you."

"Thank you Madame Pomfrey," Catherine said as she sat down on the bed. She reclined back against the headboard and closed her eyes, her brow furrowing as if in pain. She waited until the sound of Madame Pomfrey's steps had disappeared and then waited fifteen more seconds just for good measure. Catherine quietly slid off the bed and made her way to the screens in the corner. She held her breath and moved one of the screens slightly aside and peeked in.

Remus Lupin lay asleep in the bed. His body was covered in scratches and scrapes and that was just the parts of him she could see. She was sure there were more under the blankets and pajamas. There was a bruise on his arm and a small cut under his left eye. The cut had been healed, as had the scratches, although the lines were still visible. The bruise looked as if it was a few days old and Catherine knew that Madame Pomfrey must have used bruise paste on it. Catherine felt tears prick the back of her eyes as she realized what Remus must go through every month and how horrible it must be for him. She had a hard time reconciling the quiet and polite boy she had spoken to in the library just a week ago with the monster that he became once a month. Shaking her head, Catherine turned to go back to her bed when a voice hissed in her ear.

"What are you doing here?"

Catherine startled and whirled around. Sirius stood glaring at her, the look on his face murderous.

"Si-Sirius," she stuttered, fear in her voice. Sirius grabbed her arm and towed her away from the bed, replacing the screen behind them.

"I said, what are you doing here?" he ground out through gritted teeth and Catherine wrenched her arm away from him, glaring back.

"If you must know, I came for a headache potion," Catherine retorted.

"Oh and you thought you'd find one in Remus' bed?" he snapped.

"No, Madame Pomfrey didn't have any left, so she went down to Professor Slughorn's office to get some more," Catherine replied angrily, crossing her arms in front of her.

"So what were you doing at Remus' bed?" Sirius asked, the expression on his face still livid.

"I heard a noise," Catherine said, biting her lip, making up the story on the spot. "Like a whimper, so I went to tell whoever it was that Madame Pomfrey had stepped out." She tossed her head defiantly at Sirius, daring him to question her further.

"You're lying," he said flatly. Catherine gaped at him, incredulous, and then cursed herself. Damn lip.

"Fine, I'm lying," she conceded, still angry. Looking at Sirius, she decided to get the answers she wanted once and for all. "How long has he been a werewolf?"

For a moment, Sirius stared at her, his face giving away nothing. Then he began to laugh. Catherine huffed in annoyance.

"Care to tell me what is so funny?" she asked.

"Where in Merlin's name did you come up with something like that?" Sirius managed to get out between guffaws.

"A lot of little things," Catherine said shrugging. "You cancelling out on our study sessions on dates I realized were on the full moon, a conversation I overheard in December between you and Peter about Peter forgetting that the full moon was coming up, Remus' reaction when he found me doing my werewolf essay in the library last weekend, Remus not being at dinner yesterday, his nickname, Moony. But the thing that convinced me I was right was last night when I followed the three of you after dinner. I heard James talking about hating Moony having to be on his own for so long during winter full moons. When Remus wasn't at breakfast this morning and the three of you looked like you hadn't slept at all, I decided to visit here and see for myself."

"That was you," Sirius said, looking off into the distance as if he were contemplating something. He had gone quiet during her speech and she could tell that he was trying to decide just how much she knew and how much she was bluffing.

"Yes, it was. What was with the smelling thing, by the way?" she asked, but Sirius ignored her. He had cocked his head and seemed to be listening for something, although Catherine could hear nothing.

"Pomfrey's coming back," he said. "Meet me in the room after dinner tonight. 7:00." And with that, he quickly strode from the hospital wing, disappearing through a doorway in the hall Catherine didn't know existed just as Madame Pomfrey came around the corner. Catherine hurriedly went back to her bed, wondering just how Sirius had been able to hear the matron coming from so far away.

"Here you are dear," Madame Pomfrey said as she reentered the room, handing Catherine a small vial from the tray she was levitating in front of her. Catherine smiled and drank the potion down, then handed the empty vial back to the nurse.

"Thank you Madame Pomfrey," she said. "I'd better get to class." The matron nodded at her and Catherine left the hospital wing.

* * *

Catherine paced inside the small room, waiting for Sirius to arrive. She had almost decided not to come, still wanting to avoid him as much as possible. But her curiosity got the best of her and here she was.

"And you know what curiosity did to the cat," Catherine muttered as the door opened. She stopped and locked eyes with Sirius. He closed the door quietly behind him and leaned against it, never breaking eye contact with her.

"Who have you told?" he asked coldly and she knew.

"So it's true then," she said.

"I said, who have you told?" he asked again, taking a step towards her.

"No-no one," she replied, stuttering slightly in surprise at the anger on his face. "No one, I swear," she said again, more confidently this time.

"Not even Myra?" Sirius asked, the anger slowly giving way to relief.

"No, no one," Catherine repeated. Sirius let out a loud breath.

"Yes, it's true," he said, sinking down onto the couch.

"How long?" Catherine asked.

"How long has he been one or how long have I known?" Sirius asked tiredly.

"Both, I guess," Catherine replied.

"He was bitten when he was five, revenge against his father for insulting a werewolf," Sirius lip curled in disgust. "I've known since second year. James and I worked it out after he went missing for a couple of days every month."

"How, I mean, where," Catherine trailed off, unsure of exactly how much she wanted to know.

"Dumbledore takes precautions," Sirius said. "Remus goes to the Shrieking Shack every month and he's locked in. Madame Pomfrey goes and gets him in the mornings and takes him to the hospital wing to recover."

"It must be so awful for him," Catherine said, remembering the shape she had seen Remus in, even after being healed. Sirius snorted.

"Yeah, you could say that." He looked at Catherine. "Look, he never wanted anyone to know, he didn't even want us to know. Thought we would quit being friends with him. You can't tell anyone and you can't treat him any differently because you know." Catherine nodded absent-mindedly, still imagining the pain Remus went through each month and for what? An insult between adults? Her anger simmered to the surface.

"I mean it Catherine," Sirius was saying. "You have to keep quiet about this, even to Myra."

"I know!" Catherine snapped, fierceness in her eyes. Sirius looked surprised, then hardened his expression and nodded. Catherine knew he felt the same as her. She wondered if he knew who had done it, who had bitten Remus and turned him in the first place. If he did, Catherine knew that if the werewolf ever crossed Sirius' path, he had better hope that Sirius was missing his wand at the time. Not that that would stop Sirius doing something with his fists, she thought wryly.

"You go with him, don't you?" Catherine blurted out.

"What are you talking about?" Sirius asked warily, keeping all emotion from his face.

"On full moon nights, you and James and Peter, you go with him somehow." Catherine had begun to pace, her mind awhirl with the possibilities. "I don't know how you do it, but you're with him, aren't you? And no one else knows about it, not even the headmaster." Sirius looked away and Catherine knew she was right. She stopped pacing and watched him. He scrubbed a hand down his face and sighed loudly. He looked up at her and searched her face, his lips pursed as if he were contemplating something. Catherine's eyes locked on his and he seemed to be satisfied with what he saw because he stood and moved the desk back until it was against the wall.

"I could tell you, but you probably wouldn't believe me, so I'll just show you instead." He paused then and looked at her again before he flicked his wand at the door, sealing it and putting up a silencing charm. Catherine looked back at him in confusion, but for some reason, she wasn't scared at all. She trusted him, she realized, just as much as he seemed to trust her. He stared at her for a moment longer and then his body seemed to shimmer and twist in on itself and then he was just, gone. In his place was a huge black dog.

Catherine gasped and backed away, but the dog simply sat down and continued to look at her. She stared at it and noticed that it had gray eyes, strange for a dog, she thought. And then she noticed that the shade was exactly the same as Sirius' and the depth just as unending. Clarity and understanding came at once.

"Animagus," Catherine whispered and suddenly Sirius stood before her once more.

"Yes," he said, sitting back down on the couch again.

"But, how?" Catherine asked, unable to say anything else.

"We studied it for quite a while, but weren't able to work it out until last year," Sirius said.

"We?" Catherine said. "Then James and Peter too?"

"Yes," Sirius replied. "James is a stag and Peter a rat. There's a tunnel to the Shrieking Shack that's blocked by the Whomping Willow, but Peter is small enough that he can get to the knothole to stop the branches. We go in and stay with Moony in our Animagus forms. Sometimes we run around the forest."

"You leave the shack?" Catherine exclaimed. "Sirius do you know how dangerous that is?" He waved off her concern.

"He's calmer with us there. We're like his pack," Sirius replied. "Besides, James and I are big enough to control him." Catherine was about to protest again, but decided she would never be able to convince him he was wrong. There was silence between the two of them for a few moments.

"Prongs and Wormtail," Catherine said suddenly. "And Padfoot. Your nicknames _do_ mean something." Sirius chuckled.

"I wondered how long it would take you to figure that out," he said, smiling. "I thought I was done for when I slipped and called Remus Moony in front of you. But you seemed to believe me that they were just random nicknames."

"As I said, boys are odd," Catherine replied, smirking a bit, to which he stuck his tongue out at her. "Thank you for telling me," she said a moment later. Sirius shrugged.

"You'd already figured out most of it yourself. I just confirmed your suspicions."

"Does Remus know that you were going to tell me?" she asked, suddenly worried that his friend would be angry with him. Sirius nodded.

"I asked him and he told me that if I felt you could be trusted to go ahead," Sirius replied. "I can trust you, can't I?"

"Of course, Sirius," Catherine responded. "I would never tell anyone, I swear it."

"Thank you," Sirius said, smiling at her. "And I meant it when I said you can't treat Remus any differently. He doesn't want pity."

"I know," Catherine replied. They sat there for a minute, looking at each other and Catherine realized she had forgotten that she was upset with him and that he had hurt her, even though he didn't know that he had. And when she tried to bring those feelings back to the fore, she realized she couldn't. She couldn't stay angry with someone who cared about his friends as much as Sirius did.

"So how's Transfiguration going?" he asked, just as the silence was beginning to be uncomfortable.

"Not that well," Catherine admitted, looking away from him as she said it.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked. "I can still help."

"I," Catherine began, but once she looked at him she realized she was being silly. Sirius was her friend and there was no reason they couldn't go back to studying together. It was just a crush, she would get over it. "I'd like that." He smiled and the two began to plan their next study session together.

* * *

**A/N2 - I realize that Harry and company studied werewolves in their third year, but it fit my story here, so during the Marauders Era, it was during fourth year. :)**


	6. Falling In

**A/N - Hello everyone! Next chapter for you. We'll be back to the Tuesday and Friday posting schedule now that I'm back from vacation which was fabulous. Thanks to all that have read, reviewed, alerted and favorited this story! If you get a chance, please review and let me know what you think! Chapter title is taken from the song by Lifehouse and yes, it's a hint of what happens in this chapter. ;) Enjoy! **

**Chapter 6**

**Falling In**

**July 1993**

"I should have left well enough alone," Catherine said as she sat up on the couch. "I could have probably saved myself some heartache." She sighed and stood, setting the pillow down next to her and realized that she was rather hungry. She hadn't eaten much at breakfast after all.

Making her way into the kitchen, she made herself a snack and poured another cup of coffee. Taking the plate and her mug, she went outside and sat in the lounge chair in the garden. It was such a beautiful day, she really should stop thinking about all of this and get some work done on the flowers and the vegetable patch, as her mother hadn't finished weeding the other day.

Still, something kept her from rising and going to the flower bed. She took another sip of the coffee and leaned back in her chair, the sun warm on her face. She wondered what the children were doing and hoped they were behaving. Her eyes closed for a few moments and then she opened them again, stifling a yawn. The last few nights of interrupted sleep were catching up with her and before she knew it, Catherine was asleep, the mug slipping from her hand and thumping to the ground.

* * *

**June 1977**

The spring had passed quickly and it was suddenly time once again for year-end exams. Sirius had been working with Catherine on Transfiguration for the last three months. She had done well and improved greatly, but she was still nervous when she went into her exam. When she successfully changed her rabbit into a weasel she was thrilled, however, she knew that the practical exam was only a portion of her grade. She would have to wait a week to find out the results of her written exam.

When the results finally came, Catherine squealed and then ran to her study room to wait for Sirius. They had planned to meet that afternoon, Sirius knowing that exam results for the lower years would be given out that day. She fidgeted on the couch, waiting for him, trying to school her features into a normal, even downtrodden expression. Every few seconds she would glance back at the parchment with her grades on it though, and the corners of her mouth would twitch, ruining the effect. Finally, she heard a tap on the door and she looked down at the paper in her lap as Sirius came into the room.

"So?" he said as he sat down next to her on the couch. She shrugged and handed him the parchment.

"See for yourself," she sighed, sitting back and crossing her arms in front of her. She knew the classes were listed in alphabetical order, meaning that Transfiguration was last. She watched him quickly scan down the list from the corner of her eye, he was mouthing the O's and E's she had received and then he stopped at Transfiguration. She bit the inside of her cheek to keep from smiling as he looked at the grade. His mouth dropped open and he looked at it again. Then he looked at her.

"You got an O?" he asked, as if he couldn't quite believe the written evidence in front of him. She nodded, grinning widely.

"You got an O!" he exclaimed, then stood up and grabbed her, pulling her to her feet and twirling her around in his arms. Her laugh joined his and then he put her back on her feet and stared at her grinning. She looked back up at him and smiled as well, his arms still around her waist and hers around his neck.

The familiar swooping sensation in her stomach came back as she looked at him and she realized that in those months they had been working together again, those months that she thought she had gotten over her feelings for him, it had all been a ruse. Her brain had convinced her heart that they were nothing more than friends and that Catherine accepted, even relished, this fact. But in that moment when their eyes locked, arms around each other, Catherine realized that her heart had been lying to itself and she wanted nothing more than for Sirius Black to kiss her.

His expression changed slowly from one of gleeful joy to one of quiet contemplation. His wide smile gradually faded as he stared at her, and his arms around her waist tightened ever so slightly. She felt her heart begin to beat faster and then faster still. She thought sure that he could feel it, that at any moment it would pound itself completely out of her chest. Her eyes slid the tiniest bit out of focus as he lowered his head and then closed all together as he brushed her lips with his. It was the barest of kisses, the minutest contact of skin, but it made her breath catch all the same. He pulled back only inches and her eyes fluttered open to find themselves locked with his. He was breathing as heavily as she, as though they had been kissing for hours, and her lips felt hot, scorched, where his had brushed them.

Catherine thought she might have made a noise, a kind of whimper that might have gone unnoticed had they not been standing so very close together. But they were and he heard, searching her eyes to discover the nature of the sound. What he saw there, she did not know, but if it were anything like what she saw in his, wonderment, surprise and most of all, fire, then she should have been able to predict what would happen next. He lowered his head once again and paused for the briefest of seconds, as if giving her the chance to stop him. When she didn't, his lips met hers and he was kissing her again, tentatively at first, and so slowly that Catherine thought she might scream at his hesitancy. She tightened her arms around his neck and pulled herself closer to him. He groaned and deepened the kiss as one of his hands moved up her back and settled in her hair, grasping her tightly around the waist with the other. They kissed for what seemed like hours and when they finally broke apart in order to breathe, Sirius pulled her close to him, tucking her head under his chin, her cheek resting against his chest. She sighed in contentment and he ran his hand through her hair, neither of them speaking, not wanting to break whatever spell they were under.

Finally, he pulled back from her, looking into her eyes and then kissed her again. It was short, but sweet, and when he stopped, he looked down at her and smiled.

"You don't know how long I've wanted to do that," he said. Catherine looked at him, her eyes wide, for this was not what she had expected to hear.

"Wh-what?" she asked. "Then why, I mean, what?" He chuckled and led her to the couch, turning to face her and taking both her hands in his.

"Before Christmas, when I walked you back to your common room, I wanted to kiss you," he said. "And again on the train, after those idiots," he paused and took a deep breath as if to calm himself. "But I didn't know how you felt, if you felt anything at all for me and then on the train, Myra and Ian were there and I guess I just, I don't know, chickened out." Catherine gaped at him.

"You chickened out," she said. "Sirius Black, who runs with a werewolf once a month, has had more detentions than anyone in the history of Hogwarts and snogs anything in a skirt, chickened out?"

"Hey, I do not snog _anything_ in a skirt," he protested. "Teachers wear skirts." He shuddered at that thought. Catherine began to laugh, peals of laughter that echoed off the walls of their little chamber so loudly that Sirius cast a silencing spell on the room. She laughed until there were tears running down her face and the look on Sirius' face was one of such utter irritation that it set her off again and soon she was gasping for breath.

"I'm glad you find me so amusing," he said dryly, but the smirk on his face told her he wasn't really upset. She finally calmed herself and took his hands again.

"I'm sorry," she said. "But really, you were scared? Of me?"

"No, I wasn't scared of _you_," he said. "I just, I don't know. Like I said, I didn't know how you felt about me and I didn't want to mess anything up. I still wanted to be your friend, if nothing else. And then when we first got back from break, I felt awkward whenever I saw you and then you started avoiding me and I thought that I had scared you off or something."

"You could have just asked me you know," Catherine replied. "Myra has been bugging me all year to admit I fancied you and I always told her that I didn't. Until that day on the train. I admitted it to her after you and Remus left. But then when we got back from the holidays, I didn't understand why you wouldn't talk to me and then I saw you one day with another girl." Catherine let go of his hands and looked away from him. Sirius swore quietly.

"And that's when you started avoiding me?" he asked and Catherine nodded.

"I'm such a prat," he said, slumping back into the couch. Catherine couldn't help but chuckle.

"It doesn't matter now though, does it?" she asked, leaning back against the couch herself and looking at him again. "We're here now and we obviously both feel the same way."

"Yes, but there's something else," Sirius replied.

"What?" asked Catherine, completely confused.

"Something else that I thought about over Christmas," Sirius said, reaching out and tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. She leaned into his hand and he smiled, cupping her cheek for a moment before taking her hand in his again. "I thought about what happened on the train and I realized that I didn't want to, that I couldn't, make it worse for you. That was another reason that I kept my distance when we got back to school."

"What are you talking about, making it worse for me?" she asked, brow furrowed.

"Look, Catherine, you're a target because you're a muggle-born and there's nothing I can do about that," he said. "But I'm as bad, if not worse, because I'm a blood traitor. You heard what those two said on the train. The first Black, in I don't know how many centuries, to not be sorted into Slytherin. I've never bought into my parents' pureblood nonsense, not even when I was small and really didn't understand exactly what it all meant. My cousin Andromeda was disowned because she married a muggle-born and my mother did the same to me last year when I left home and went to live with the Potters."

"Sirius, I don't care about any of those things," Catherine insisted.

"I know that you don't, but you have to listen to me," Sirius continued. "You know my brother Regulus?" Catherine nodded. "He feels exactly the same way as my parents. He and his little friends pass up no opportunity to hassle me, especially now that I've made my allegiances clear." Catherine gasped and grabbed his arm, but Sirius waved her off.

"It's fine, I can handle it," he said. "But I don't want them targeting you."

"But they're targeting me anyway, because of who I am, you said so yourself," Catherine protested. "What's the difference?"

"Look, I know about those idiots in your own house, but this is different," Sirius insisted. "It's personal for Regulus. He would like nothing better than to hurt me somehow. I don't know why for sure, maybe to convince our parents that he really is the perfect son. As if they don't think that already." Sirius shook his head in disgust. "He knows he probably can't do it physically. I could outduel him any day and he's never been able to throw a punch properly. But if he did something to someone I cared about." Sirius stopped and shook his head. Catherine's heart began to beat faster, not because she was frightened but because Sirius had said he cared about her. Indirectly anyway.

"Sirius," Catherine began, then stopped, trying to find the words to express exactly how she felt. She knew that after that kiss, there was no way she could go back to pretending that she thought of him as only a friend. Nor did she want to. "I don't want to, I mean I can't," she trailed off again, looking down at her lap. She took a deep breath and looked up to meet his gaze.

"I don't care about your brother or the Slytherins or Dewhurst or Lancaster or anyone else who thinks I'm not good enough just because of who I was born to," Catherine said. "This, whatever this is between us, I don't want to," she paused swallowing thickly as she realized she didn't know what exactly he wanted. But she plunged on just the same. "I don't want to lose this."

He looked at her, bringing a hand up to her face to cup her cheek. She leaned into the contact, relishing it and sighing softly. He ran a thumb along her cheek bone, then leaned forward and kissed her again.

"I don't want to lose this either," he said. "But I have to keep you safe."

"That's not your job," she protested.

"Catherine, that day on the train, when Remus and I came upon you, when I saw the fear in your eyes, I almost snapped," Sirius admitted. "If there was ever a time I wanted to use an Unforgiveable on someone, it was then. The way I feel about you, I can't **not** keep you safe. It's not possible."

"How, how do you feel about me?" she whispered.

"I," Sirius paused and looked away from her. "I care about you very much." Catherine sat silently, staring at him until he looked at her again. He took a deep breath as he met her gaze. "I think that I might, I think that I, I love you." Catherine's breath caught and tears began to form at the corners of her eyes.

"You-you think that you love me?" she whispered again and he simply nodded. "But how can you, I mean, how can you even know me enough to love me?" He brought a finger to her cheek and gently wiped a tear away.

"I know that you're the smartest girl I've ever met. I know that you're still unsure of yourself, even after almost four years in the magical world and grades to prove you can outperform a lot of purebloods. I know there are things about magic that I take for granted that make your face light up like a little girl's. I know that Myra is the first close friend you've ever had. I know that you're fiercely loyal to your friends and that you would do anything to help or protect them. I know that you would never betray a confidence. I know you hate gossip. I know that when you're lying you bite your lip and when you're nervous you play with your hair. I know you love your parents and that you wish, almost desperately, that your father would approve of the fact that you're a witch. And I know that you are the most beautiful girl I've ever known." And with the last, he leaned forward and kissed her again as the tears streamed down Catherine's cheeks.

"I do love you," he said when he pulled away and he smiled at her. She smiled back through her tears, not believing some of the things he had said about her. She wasn't beautiful, not really. Pretty, maybe, but never beautiful. She could think of plenty of other girls much more beautiful than she was. And Sirius could have any of them with one smile.

"But if you feel that way then why" she stopped, unable to form the rest of her question, but Sirius seemed to understand.

"It's because I feel that way that I can't let anything happen to you," he said. "I couldn't bear it, if it did." She sat back on the couch and leaned against him and he put an arm around her. She felt, safe, sitting here with him like this and she knew then that she loved him too. Merlin, she was only 15, how could she possibly be in love with someone? And Sirius Black at that? The boy that she had thought was a complete prat just a year ago. But, she knew that he wasn't, not all the time anyway, she thought smirking. Catherine had learned many things about Sirius over the months they'd been studying together. They talked about everything, not just Transfiguration or even school. She knew that he was many of the things he proclaimed her to be, smart and fiercely loyal to his friends. She knew he was the bravest person she had ever met and he would defend her and anyone else he cared about as long as there was breath in his body. He stood up for what was right, even though it had cost him his family. And he still missed them, even if he pretended that he didn't. He loved Mr. and Mrs. Potter and they him, but she knew that he wished that his own parents had turned out like James'. And she loved him, it was as simple as that. And knowing that, she knew that she would not let him go, no matter how worried he was. She turned toward him and brought a hand to his cheek.

"I love you too," she said, leaning in to kiss him. "And I won't let you go." Sirius sighed and looked at her, then shook his head, smiling wryly.

"I forgot to mention something else I know about you. You're incredibly stubborn," he said.

"And you're not?" she snorted in disbelief.

"Point taken," he said, smirking at her. "So do you have a solution then, oh Miss Mighty Ravenclaw?" She nodded.

"We see each other in secret," she said.

"Secret?" he asked. She nodded again.

"We've got this room and I'm sure you know of a few other places we could go. The tunnel where you rescued me from Filch, for one. I study all the time, people in my house are used to not seeing me much. And you're always off with the Marauders or some girl, so it shouldn't be too difficult for you either." She looked at him as he considered what she'd said. After a few minutes, he smiled.

"Secret girlfriend huh?" he asked, leaning forward and capturing her lips with his. She kissed him back. "I sort of like the sound of that, sounds, illicit." He waggled his eyebrows at her and she giggled. "I wish we weren't going home in three days," he said. "Not enough time to work on this whole 'secret relationship' thing."

"Well, you do know that I live in a Muggle neighborhood," she said, snuggling back into his side. "And you're 17 _and_ you know how to apparate. And I don't think my parents are taking me on holiday this summer."

"Hm, good points," he said, nuzzling her hair with his nose. "You smell like lavender." Catherine smiled, then sat bolt upright on the couch.

"You _smelled_ me," she said and he looked taken aback.

"Oh, well, just your hair," he said, unsure as to why she seemed so upset.

"No, no not that," she said, waving a hand. "I mean that night of the full moon when I followed you. You smelled me?"

"Oh, that," he said laughing. "Yeah, well, one of the side effects of having a dog as your Animagus form. Heightened sense of smell."

"That's just, weird," she said and he chuckled as she settled back down next to him again. They spent the next hour talking about the summer and their plans, Sirius idly rubbing her arm with his hand or playing with her hair. He kissed her often, even if it were just a brush of his lips to her temple or cheek, as if he thought if he didn't, she would disappear. She would always smile after, sometimes blushing and still unable to believe that he had chosen her out of all the girls in the school.

"We should probably head to dinner," Sirius said after they had been sitting in companionable silence for a quite some time.

"Probably," Catherine agreed, but didn't move from his side.

"Why aren't you moving then?" he asked, chuckling.

"I just wish it didn't have to be a secret," she said, her lips going into a pout. He laughed and kissed her cheek.

"I know," he said. "Come on," he stood and held out a hand to her, pulling her off the couch and into his arms and then he kissed her again.

"Not helping," she said when he pulled back from her. He kissed her forehead and took her hand, leading her to the door.

"It's only three days," he said. "And then we can see each other all the time."

"What will you tell James, as to why you're disappearing so much?" she asked, thinking of the one flaw in her plan.

"I'll figure something out," Sirius shrugged. "James' parents are pretty lax on the two of us. We can come and go as we please." He opened the door and as they stepped out into the hall, Sirius let go of her hand. She sighed, but walked with him to the Great Hall. The separated as they came in the door, she going to the Ravenclaw table and him to the Gryffindor. She took one last look at him before she sat down next to Myra. Keeping this from Myra would be the hardest. Sometimes Catherine wondered if she weren't some kind of seer, the way she seemed to know everything.

Sure enough, as she sat down, Myra glanced up at her face and then looked over to the Gryffindor table where Sirius was already laughing with his friends. Catherine schooled her features into as benign as a face as she could manage and ordered herself not to bite her lip, as her friend turned to look at her.

"What's going on?" Myra asked, eyes narrowing at Catherine.

"What are you talking about?" Catherine replied, spooning potatoes onto her plate.

"Between you and Sirius Black," Myra said. Catherine sighed and rolled her eyes as she reached for the steak and kidney pie.

"The same thing that's been going on all year, Myra," she said. "He's helping me study."

"But exams are over," Myra said, continuing to look pointedly at her friend.

"I realize that, but we got our results today, didn't we?" Catherine said. "He just wanted to know how I'd done, that's all." She put a bite of food in her mouth, as Myra continued to stare at her.

"You were gone for an awfully long time," her friend added.

"Myra honestly," Catherine retorted. "We were talking about the summer. We _are_ friends." She shook her head.

"Fine, don't tell me," Myra replied, going back to her own dinner. "I'll find out eventually." Catherine chose to keep her eyes on her plate and her mouth closed. She knew Myra's tricks and they weren't going to work this time.

"So, will Ian be joining us in our compartment on the train?" Catherine asked innocently, then smirking at Myra's reddening face.

"Possibly, will Sirius?" Myra returned. Catherine just shrugged.

"Not that I know of," she said, hoping she sounded nonchalant. Myra made an exasperated noise and turned back to her dinner. She asked Catherine no more questions about Sirius Black.

* * *

**July 1993**

Catherine woke abruptly, smile still on her lips at the thought of Myra's annoyance with her that evening. She slowly took in her surroundings and realized she had fallen asleep on the lounge chair in the garden. She sighed and leaned back in her chair, remembering how she and Sirius had not seen one another again in the last few days of school, no longer having studying as an excuse to meet. And then on the train ride home, Sirius had found her alone in the corridor, dragged her into the loo and snogged her senseless. She'd had to take quite a few minutes afterward to calm her racing heart and make sure the heat in her cheeks was gone before making her way back to her compartment.

That summer had been wonderful at first. Once home, Catherine had gone to the park near her house and taken a few pictures of the copse of trees that stood near the back. She owled them to Sirius along with the general geographic location of the park and two days later, he had apparated there after dinner. She'd told her parents she was going for a walk and she and Sirius had spent an hour sitting in the small patch of woods talking and kissing.

After two weeks of only seeing Sirius every few days for an hour or two at a time, Catherine told her parents that she had run into an old friend from primary school on one of her walks. She convinced her mother and father that the two had reconnected and whenever she planned to meet Sirius, she would tell her parents that she was going to do something with her old friend. This allowed for longer visits with Sirius, as well as actually leaving the park at times. He took her to Diagon Alley for ice cream, out to dinner in London and even to a professional Quidditch match.

They had almost been caught at the match, as Catherine had caught a glimpse of Mary McDonald and the Hufflepuff boy she was dating, as they were leaving the stadium. Catherine had pulled Sirius behind a pillar and kissed him, so both of their faces were hidden as Mary passed by. Catherine chuckled as she remembered the look on Sirius' face when she had released him, before she could explain the reason for her very public display of affection.

Shortly after the match, though, her mother had become suspicious of Catherine's frequent disappearances with her so-called friend. She asked Catherine to invite the girl to dinner and after too many excuses about why she couldn't come, had finally confronted her daughter about what she was really doing. After Catherine had no good answer prepared, Jane began to watch her daughter more closely, not allowing her to leave for long periods of time. Catherine's time with Sirius was all of a sudden strictly limited.

"And then I went and left that damn Prophet on my desk," Catherine muttered to herself, still irritated at her carelessness after all these years.

* * *

**18 August 1977**

Catherine strolled into the house with a large grin on her face. She had just spent an hour in the park with Sirius and it was only two weeks until school began. Her mum was taking her to Diagon Alley in two days to do her school shopping and Sirius had promised to try and be there. Even if she couldn't sneak off on her own, she would at least see him, she thought.

"I'm home Mum," she called as she came in the door, then hurried up the stairs to her room, so she could lay on her bed and go over the last hour again and again in her mind. She smiled as she stepped into her room, only to be startled at the large figure standing in front of her desk.

"Dad, you scared me," Catherine said, bringing a hand up to her chest. He ignored her comment and instead held something out in front of him.

"What is this?" he asked, anger clear in his tone. Catherine took the proffered object and realized, heart sinking, that it was her copy of the Daily Prophet from that morning. She had subscribed to it that summer in order to not feel so disconnected from the wizarding world while she was at home. Unfortunately, the headline of the day had been a story of the disappearance two muggle-born wizards and witches and their families. And worse than that was the reference to a previous story of the killing of a muggle-born student's family, which had occurred right at the end of term. Both acts were speculated to be the work of You-Know-Who and his Death Eaters.

"It's the Daily Prophet," Catherine answered, deciding to take her father's question in the literal sense. "The wizarding newspaper."

"I know that," her father snapped. "I meant, what do these stories mean? Who is You-Know-Who? And what are these," he paused, looking back at the story again, "Death Eaters?" Catherine sighed, trying to decide how to explain without worrying her father too much.

"You-Know-Who is a wizard who has certain ideas about how things should be that most other witches and wizards don't agree with," Catherine said. "It's causing some problems."

"Some problems?" her father asked incredulously. "According to this, people are dying, Catherine. People like you."

"You-Know-Who doesn't like muggle-borns. He doesn't think that we should be allowed to use magic," she explained.

"So you're telling me that there is a wizard out there who thinks that you should be killed because of the fact that your mother and I are not magical?" her father asked, his mouth tightening. Catherine knew she was treading on dangerous ground.

"I never said that he wants to kill me," she protested.

"This does," her father thundered, shaking the paper in her face.

"Daddy, it's a newspaper," Catherine said, trying to soothe him. "You say yourself how the newspaper sensationalizes things all the time for ratings. Don't put so much stock in it."

"I'm going to ask you something and I expect an honest answer," her father said, looking her in the eye. "Is there some kind of war going on in your world? Because that's what it sounds like to me." Catherine swallowed thickly, trying to come up with a way to answer his question without him getting too upset. "Answer me," he said through gritted teeth.

"Okay, yes, I guess there is," she said quickly. "But that doesn't mean anything is going to happen to me," she insisted. "It's very safe at Hogwarts, Professor Dumbledore makes sure of that." She stared at her father for a minute, holding her breath and watching the expression on his face.

"That's it, you're done," her father said, throwing the paper down on the desk. Catherine stood in shock, staring at him. "You're done with that school, do you hear me? You are not going back."

"Dad, no!" Catherine exclaimed, finally finding her voice. "You can't, that's not fair!"

"It's not fair that I'm trying to keep my daughter alive?" he roared, anger flashing in his eyes. "I never wanted you to go to that school in the first place. I knew it would be nothing but trouble."

"You can't do this!" Catherine yelled. "You can't!"

"I can and I will!" her father yelled back. "I am your father, Catherine and I have every right to pull you from that school!"

"What on earth is going on up here?" a voice demanded from the hall. Catherine turned to see her mother standing there with her hands on her hips, glaring at the two of them. Catherine threw herself into her mother's arms and began to sob.

"Thomas, go downstairs and calm down," Jane insisted, scowling at her husband.

"I will not calm down!" Thomas shouted. "Have you seen this?" He thrust the paper into his wife's hands. She took one arm from around Catherine and took it from him, looking at the story on the front page. She jumped a bit as the picture moved, then skimmed the contents silently and handed it back to her husband.

"You will go and calm down and then the three of us will sit down and discuss this. Rationally." She handed him the paper back and put her arm back around her daughter, who was still sobbing, leading her into the bedroom. Thomas began to mutter under his breath, but left the room all the same, closing the door rather loudly behind him.

"Come on sweetheart, let's sit down on your bed," Jane said, as Catherine allowed herself to be led to her bed. "Now, what's all this about?" she asked, as she smoothed the hair back from her daughter's tear-stained face.

"Dad says I can't go back to school," Catherine hiccupped between sobs. "Because of what's going on."

"And what is going on?" Jane asked, reaching to her daughter's nightstand and handing Catherine a tissue. Catherine sat up and wiped her face and blew her nose. She took a deep breath and looked at her mother.

"A war," she said and then proceeded to tell her mother the basic facts about You-Know-Who and the Death Eaters and what they wanted. "But there are so many more witches and wizards that are against him," Catherine insisted as she finished. "I know he won't win, I just know it. And everyone says that You-Know-Who is afraid of Professor Dumbledore. He'd never attack the school or anything. I'm perfectly safe there Mum, I know I am. Please, you have to let me go back!" Catherine began to cry again as her mother wrapped her arms back around her and kissed the top of her head.

"Calm down, Catherine," her mother insisted. "You know how your father gets, angry and blustery right away. Once he calms down, we'll be able to talk about this."

"So I can go?" Catherine asked hopefully. "You'll convince him?"

"I didn't say that," her mother cautioned and Catherine's lip began to tremble again. "I said, let him calm down and then we'll talk." Catherine nodded as her mother stood from her bed. "Now, why don't you get yourself together and wait up here for me, while I go see to your father. I'll come and get you when we're ready to talk." Catherine nodded again and Jane patted her cheek before she left the room.

Catherine flopped down on her bed and took a deep breath. Her mum was usually good about being able to calm her father down when he got in one of his moods. Catherine was sure that it was her mother that had finally convinced him to let Catherine go to Hogwarts in the first place. But this was different, Catherine knew. Her father was worried about her safety and not being a wizard himself, had no idea how exactly Catherine was protected at school. She sighed.

Catherine heard a hoot and looked up to see her owl, Galena, flying in the window after hunting. Catherine sat up and the owl came and perched on her outstretched arm, nipping Catherine's ear. The sight of her owl struck Catherine with a sudden thought. If she couldn't convince her father, perhaps someone else could. Catherine knew that Myra's father worked at the Ministry of Magic, in the Magical Office of Law. If she could get Myra's parents to come here and explain things like wards and enchantments to her parents, maybe her father would understand and allow her to return.

Galena flying off to her perch, Catherine quickly got up and went to her desk, pulling out parchment and quill to write a quick note to Myra. When she was finished, Catherine attached the note to Galena's leg. "Wait for her to write back, okay girl?" The owl hooted in response and then flew out the open window. Catherine lay back down on her bed to wait for Myra's reply.

Before her owl returned, Catherine's mother came back into her room. Catherine looked up at her expectantly, but Jane shook her head.

"I think that we'll give your father a little more time to cool down," Jane said, smiling at Catherine. "Maybe tomorrow." Catherine just sighed and nodded, then turned away from her mother, tears making their way down her cheeks again. Now she wished she hadn't sent Galena to Myra's. She very much wanted to talk to Sirius.

Galena didn't return until well after midnight. Catherine was still awake however, and she rose and gave the owl a treat before opening the letter from Myra.

_I talked to my dad and first he said we shouldn't meddle in other people's business._ Catherine could just picture her friend rolling her eyes and she giggled. _But then my mum told him he was being a bloody idiot and of course we would do anything to help "that sweet Catherine" and her family. Boy she doesn't really know you does she? _Catherine snorted._ Don't worry, just taking the mickey. Anyway, Mum says that if you need us to come, just send an owl and we'll be there. Maybe Dad can get your fireplace on the floo network, at least temporarily. He's good friends with the head of the Department of Magical Transportation. Don't worry, your dad will come round. Talk to you soon! Myra_

Catherine folded up the letter with a lighter heart. Even if her father wouldn't listen to her, he surely couldn't ignore two adults. Catherine smiled as she climbed back into bed. She was sure she would be going back to Hogwarts.


	7. Explanations and Encounters

**A/N - Hello everyone! Hope you all liked Catherine and Sirius finally getting together in the last chapter. There's just a little bit of interaction between them in this one, but there will be more in the next. Thanks to all who are reading and have put this story on alert. I know you want to tell me what you think of the story, so go ahead, it won't hurt, I promise. ;)**

**Chapter 7**

**Explanations and Encounters**

**July 1993**

"Ah youth," Catherine snorted. "Always so optimistic. She shook her head and got up from the chair, collecting her plate and mug and heading back inside the house for lunch. She fixed herself a sandwich and crisps and sat down at the table to eat. She pulled the newspaper over and began to skim it. Her mind wandered back to the Prophet and Catherine thought she should take another subscription out for it. Something else to check into when she took Ellie to get her school things.

Catherine decided they should make that trip soon. For one, she didn't want Ellie to change her mind and for another, there were quite a few things that Catherine needed to pick up herself that she didn't want to wait another month for. Catherine rose and looked at the calendar on the refrigerator. They could go early next week on the 28th. Catherine penciled in Diagon Alley on the calendar and went back to her lunch.

If she were honest, there was another reason Catherine wanted to get their shopping done early. She was concerned about running into anyone she knew and having to explain where she had been for the last 15 years. She knew that it was entirely possible that some of her classmates and other people she had known at Hogwarts were now parents of children themselves. It seemed that people tended to marry earlier in the wizarding world. And there was every chance that she would run into some of them in Diagon Alley if they waited until the end of August like usual. She knew she would probably see some of those people at King's Cross in September, but she hoped the crowds and craziness of the day would prevent any prolonged conversation, if allow it at all.

She was being a coward, Catherine knew. She actually longed to see Myra again and find out how she was doing. Perhaps if they could afford to get Ellie an owl, she could send a note and see what happened. If they could afford it, being the operative phrase.

Catherine sighed again, thinking of just how exactly she was going to be able to afford to get everything Ellie would need. Ever since Daniel had left, they had been able to get by, but just. He certainly hadn't helped at all. Her mother had her father's life insurance and a small pension and had a small business baking and decorating cakes. It had started out as favors for the neighbors, but grew into something larger as her name was given to friends and family. Still, the business was just her mother, she only took on a few cakes a week. Catherine worked part-time as a proof-reader for an editor friend of her mother's, but only on jobs she could do at home, which sometimes fewer than she would like. She wanted to be with the children as much as possible, especially after everything that had happened with their father, intending to go back to work when they were all in school full-time, which would be this fall. Catherine also took in mending and alterations, having inherited her grandmother's sewing talents. Between the two of them, they could afford the basics, but Catherine knew outfitting a child for a year at Hogwarts was not a cheap proposition. There were second-hand robes and books, she supposed. She would worry about that when she had to.

Finishing her lunch, Catherine stood and cleared away her dishes. Getting a glass of water, she went to the kitchen window, looking out at the garden again. The flower beds seemed to be calling to her and she supposed that an hour or so of mindless work would be good for her. Now that she had started remembering, she found that she really didn't want to be interrupted until she had finished.

Going to the shed, she pulled on gloves, got the small garden stool and the spade she used for more stubborn weeds. Situating herself in front of the nearest bed, she reached out and began to tug at the meddling plants. It didn't take long for her mind to pick back up where the memories had left off before lunch.

* * *

**19 August 1977**

Catherine awoke early the next morning, Myra's reply still clutched in her hand. She had fallen asleep in her clothes, tears dried on her face. Stretching, she sat up in her bed and looked to see Galena asleep on her perch. She thought of sending a note to Sirius, but it was very early, she knew he wouldn't be awake yet. Besides, Galena had flown quite a bit the night before, she didn't want to send her out again just yet.

Catherine rose and went downstairs to the kitchen. She wasn't surprised to see her mother sitting at the table already, drinking a cup of tea. Pouring herself a glass of orange juice, Catherine sat down next to her mother at the table.

"Where's Dad?" she asked, taking a drink of her juice.

"He's having a bit of a lie-in this morning," Jane replied, smiling slightly at Catherine. "He didn't sleep much last night."

"Is he still really upset?" Catherine asked, twisting a lock of hair around her finger.

"Yes, I think so," Jane said, taking a sip of her tea.

"Mum, do you think that he really won't let me go back to school?" Catherine said, her voice choking up.

"I'm not sure sweetheart," Jane said, moving forward and wrapping an arm around her daughter. The two sat together in silence, a few tears making their way down Catherine's cheeks.

"I wrote to Myra last night," Catherine said, sitting up and wiping her face.

"What about?" Jane asked.

"I asked her if her parents would come here and explain all the wards and enchantments that are on the castle so Daddy would understand that I really am safe there," Catherine said. "They said they would come." She looked hopefully at her mother, who just shook her head.

"I don't know if that's the best idea Catherine," Jane said quietly. "I think your father would feel rather ambushed by that and think Myra's parents were trying to tell him how to raise his daughter."

"But if we tell him about it before hand, if we tell him that we're just trying to help him understand, it would be okay," Catherine insisted. "Please, Mum, please let them come. I don't know what I'll do if I can't go back to school."

"Catherine, is there something else going on here?" her mother asked, suspicion in her eyes. "I know you love Hogwarts, but it almost seems like this is about something else." Catherine gulped. How did her mother do that? Still, she wasn't quite ready to tell her mother about Sirius just yet.

"Mum, Hogwarts is the first place I've ever felt like I truly belonged," Catherine said. "I always knew I was different when I was little and I think that the other kids knew that too. I have friends there, real friends, and they understand me and I them. I have to go back, I just have to."

"All right dear," her mother soothed, taking Catherine in her arms again. "We'll talk to your father."

* * *

The talk was more of a yelling match at first, but her father did eventually calm down. He begrudgingly agreed that knowing just what the magic protecting Hogwarts was and how it worked might make him feel better about Catherine being there. He acquiesced to having Myra's parents come.

Catherine squealed and hugged him, then ran upstairs to send Galena off to her friend once more. She waited, rather impatiently, for the owl to return and when it did squealed again as she saw that her friend's family accepted the invitation to dinner in two days.

"Can you take one more message girl?" Catherine asked Galena after she had settled on her perch with a treat. "Not as far this time." Galena hooted and nipped at Catherine's finger. Catherine smiled and sat down to pen a note to Sirius. The Diagon Alley trip would have to be rescheduled and Catherine informed him of everything that had gone on with her father. She attached the note to Galena's leg and watched the owl fly out the window and out of sight before going downstairs for lunch.

An hour later, a reply came from Sirius, but with his own owl Leo instead of Galena.

_Galena seemed a bit tired, so she's having a kip here while I send Leo on with my reply. I'm sorry about everything that is going on with your father. I hope that Myra's parents can convince him that the castle is safer than being at home. If they can't, don't worry, I'll come and kidnap you and get you back to school myself. Maybe you should tell your dad you'll have your own personal bodyguard if he lets you come back. _Catherine chuckled, imagining Sirius waggling his eyebrows at her._ Don't worry, it will all work out. Do you want to meet tonight? I miss you. _

_Send your reply back with Leo. I love you. Sirius_

Catherine sighed, wanting nothing more than to see Sirius. But she knew she probably shouldn't push her father right now and having him discover that she had a secret boyfriend who was two years older than her wouldn't help one bit. She sat down to write out a note.

_I would love to meet tonight, but I don't think I should give my dad anything else to be angry with me about right now, so we'd better not. I'll write as soon as Myra and her parents leave and let you know what happened. I miss you too. _

_Love, Catherine_

She sent Leo off with the message and went downstairs to help her mother begin the preparations for the dinner party.

* * *

**21 August 1977**

Catherine's stomach was in knots as she waited for Myra and her parents to arrive. Myra's father had indeed gotten their house hooked up to the floo network for the evening and Catherine sat in the lounge, waiting for them. Her mother was busy in the kitchen and had shooed Catherine out ten minutes before when all of Catherine's pacing had become too much. Her father was roaming from room to room with a scowl on his face.

"Daddy, please try and be polite," Catherine admonished when her father came into the lounge.

"How am I supposed to be polite when people are coming into _my_ home and telling me how to raise my child?" he grumbled.

"Daddy, that's not what they're coming to tell you and you know it," Catherine said, a scowl of her own on her face. "They're just going to try and explain the magic around Hogwarts."

"Fine, fine," her father said, waving a hand at her and sitting down heavily on the couch. Catherine got up and went and sat next to him, leaning her head on his shoulder. He slipped an arm around her and gave her a squeeze, kissing the top of her head. Catherine sighed in contentment.

"You know that I'm not trying to make your life miserable," Thomas said quietly.

"I know," Catherine replied.

"It's just, when I read that article, I just can't," he stopped, shaking his head. "I don't want anything to happen to you Catherine." He squeezed her again and Catherine heard the catch in his voice.

"I know Daddy," she said and turned and hugged him. He gripped her tightly for a moment, then let go and put a hand to her cheek.

"I can't believe you're almost grown up," he said. "Seems like just yesterday you were coming in from the garden covered in mud with a ball of worms in your hand."

"Dad," Catherine said, shaking her head, her face reddening.

"I just want to keep you safe, sweetheart," Thomas continued. "And you're so far away at a place I can't even begin to understand and then I read things like that newspaper." He stopped and shook his head, pulling in a shuddering breath. Catherine felt tears beginning to form in her eyes as she realized just how much her father loved her. "I should be the one to keep you safe, to protect you, and I can't and it makes me crazy." He hugged her again and Catherine hugged him back.

They sat that way for a few minutes until her father cleared his throat and pulled away from her. He looked at Catherine's face and pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and dried the tears from her face as he had done when she was a little girl. Catherine laughed a little and he smiled back at her, then leaned forward and kissed her forehead.

"All right, enough of this. I promise to be polite and I promise to keep an open mind," he said, raising his hand solemnly as if he were swearing to something. Catherine giggled and kissed his cheek, just as the floo flared to life. Catherine looked at her father, whose eyes were wide with disbelief, even though she had explained how the floo worked. Seconds later, Myra tumbled out of the fireplace and the two girls shrieked and embraced each other, leaving Catherine's father to chuckle quietly as he rose and waited for the rest of their guests.

Myra's mother and then her father followed her through the floo, her mother waving her wand at all three of them once they were through to clean the ash from their clothes.

"Don't worry dear," Mrs. MacKenzie said to Catherine as she had finished. "Duncan made sure to notify the Improper Use of Magic Office that we would be here tonight, so you won't be getting any letters for using underage magic." Catherine smiled at Myra's mother.

"Duncan MacKenzie," Myra's father said, holding out a hand to Thomas. The two men shook. "My wife, Fiona and my daughter Myra." He presented both women to Catherine's father, who shook both of their hands.

"Thomas Powell," he said. "And I'm sure you know Catherine. And my wife, Jane," Thomas finished as Jane came out of the kitchen and into the lounge.

"Wonderful to see you again," Fiona said to Jane as the two women clasped hands. "I haven't seen you at the station since the girls' first year. Of course that could be because we always seem to be running late." The two women laughed and Myra rolled her eyes at Catherine.

"Dinner is just about finished," Jane continued. "Can I offer you something to drink?"

Once drinks had been passed around the four adults sat and chatted, getting to know one another. The two girls disappeared upstairs to Catherine's room.

"So, how's your summer been?" Catherine asked, as they sat down on her bed.

"Pretty good," Myra said. "Maggie got accepted into Healer training."

"Wow, that's great!" Catherine exclaimed. "Has Ian been around?" Myra instantly colored.

"A few times," she said, looking down at her lap.

"What?" Catherine demanded. Myra looked up at her, cheeks red, but a grin on her face.

"He kissed me last week," she said. "On the lips. Finally." Catherine laughed. Ian was terribly shy and while he'd been kissing Myra on the cheek for quite some time, he hadn't mustered the courage to really kiss her. Until now, it seemed.

"So, how was it?" Catherine asked grinning.

"Brilliant," Myra said sighing and Catherine laughed again.

"Have you heard from Sirius?" Myra asked and Catherine barely kept herself from blushing.

"A few times," she shrugged, hoping she looked nonchalant. She felt Myra's eyes on her and Catherine smiled, trying not to give anything away. After a few seconds, Myra shrugged and began telling Catherine about the trip they had taken to Paris to visit Maureen. Her oldest sister worked with the Department of International Magical Cooperation and was currently a liaison to the French Ministry.

"Girls, dinner," Jane called up the stairs a few minutes later and the two friends jumped up and made their way down to the dining room.

* * *

Dinner was a friendly affair, everyone smiling and laughing. Thomas and Duncan seemed to be trying to outdo each other with the funniest, most outrageous co-worker stories they could come up with, while Jane and Fiona gave each other commiserating looks and eye rolls. The girls just giggled at the adults' antics and once dessert had been served and cleared away, Catherine's father finally decided to broach the topic that had brought the six of them together in the first place.

As Catherine listened to Myra's father explain some of the wards and enchantments which had been placed around Hogwarts, with Myra's mother chiming in from time to time, she watched her father's face. He looked serious, nodding and asking questions, but Catherine could tell nothing from his expression. Her mother mostly kept silent, although she did ask for clarification about a few things. Catherine was amazed by all the protections the school had. She hadn't realized there were so many.

"And that's just what we know about," Duncan said as he finished with his explanations. "The standard protections, if you will. I know that Dumbledore has added quite a few of his own since becoming Headmaster and that he's always updating and fixing things. Filius Flitwick, the girls' Head of House, is one of the foremost leaders in Charms and he was a Dueling Champion as well. Minerva McGonagall, the Transfiguration teacher, is no slouch either. I know the two of them have helped Dumbledore with the wards at times. I promise you, Thomas, Hogwarts is one of, if not the safest, places in Britain. And everyone says that You-Know-Who has always been afraid of Dumbledore."

"Thank you, Duncan and Fiona, for all the information you've given us," Thomas said. "We've got a lot to think about, but everything you have said does help."

"Thomas, if I may say one thing," Fiona requested and Thomas nodded. "Catherine is an excellent student from what Myra tells me, but not only that, she's kind and doesn't draw attention to herself. What I mean by that is that she is not out broadcasting the fact that she's a muggle-born and she doesn't hold any kind of prejudices against anyone else. There are always conflicts between groups at school, I think that's true anywhere, magical or muggle. But Catherine stays away from all of that, as does Myra. That can only help her in the long run." Fiona finished and turned to smile at Catherine, who smiled back and then looked away. What would Myra's mother think if she knew Catherine had already attracted the attention of those "groups"? Still, there was no need to advertise that fact and add to her father's anxiety about it.

When she looked up, everyone was rising from the table and shaking hands, heading back toward the lounge and the fireplace.

"You will have to come to our place next time," Fiona was saying to Jane as they walked into the lounge. "We can take you side-along, now that we know where your house is."

"Side-along?" Jane asked, confusion on her face.

"Apparition," Fiona said. "I can only do one person, but Duncan's always been able to do it with two. He had to learn quickly once Myra came along. We can get the three of you there like that." She snapped her fingers and Jane jumped a bit at the noise. "I'll let Catherine explain it to you." Fiona hugged Jane and stepped to the fireplace. "Come along Myra," she called.

"See you in a week and a half," Myra whispered, winking as she hugged Catherine. Catherine just nodded hopefully. Myra walked to the fireplace and took a pinch of floo powder from the small container her mother held. She threw it in the fireplace and stepped in as the flames flared green. She called out "MacKenzie's" and disappeared. Catherine looked back at her mother, whose mouth was hanging open, not having seen the three arrive. Catherine stifled a laugh behind her hand as Myra's father and then her mother followed, the latter giving the three of them a wave just before she disappeared. When they had gone, Catherine turned back to her parents.

"That was," Jane said shaking her head.

"Magical?" Catherine asked cheekily and her mother mock-glared at her.

"Oh you," she said, slapping Catherine lightly on the shoulder, then hugging her. "Come on, those dishes aren't going to wash themselves."

"Well," Catherine said, a mischievous twinkle in her eye. "Myra's mum did say that they took the underage restriction off our house tonight. The Ministry doesn't know they're gone yet."

"Absolutely not, young lady," her mother admonished. "The rules are no magic out of school and those are the rules you will follow."

"Oh well, it was worth a try," Catherine said, shrugging her shoulders and the pair laughed and then went into the kitchen to wash up.

"Do you think Daddy changed his mind?" Catherine asked a short time later, as she wiped a platter.

"I think you're going to have to wait until tomorrow to find out," her mother replied. "You know your father, he has to think and process everything before he makes a decision." Catherine nodded.

"What about you?" Catherine asked. Her mother sighed.

"I will do what I can to convince your father that Hogwarts is where you should be," her mother said and Catherine grinned. "But, you know that sometimes once he's made a decision that nothing I say can convince him to change it."

"I know Mum," Catherine replied. She wiped dishes in silence for a few minutes before asking her mother another question. "If he does decide to let me go back, when can we go to Diagon Alley?"

"I'm not sure dear," her mother said as she rinsed a pot.

"How about the 24th?" Catherine asked, glancing at the calendar hanging on the refrigerator.

"Why are you in such a hurry to know?" Jane asked, her eyes narrowing in suspicion.

"Oh, well, um, Myra told me she hasn't been yet either, so I thought it might be fun to meet them there," Catherine said.

"Hm, well, I suppose it would be all right," Jane agreed, setting the last pot in the drainer for Catherine to dry.

"Okay, I'll send her an owl tonight, just in case," Catherine replied, hanging up her towel after drying the pot. "I'm going up to bed, I think," Catherine said. "Night Mum."

"Good night sweetheart," her mother said, finishing tidying up the counters.

"Night Daddy," Catherine said, sticking her head in the doorway of the lounge. Her father was deep in thought and looked up at the sound of her voice.

"Good night, Catherine," he said smiling and Catherine blew him a kiss as she left the room. Once she got to her bedroom, she sat down and wrote a note to Sirius about the evening and told him the tentative new date for Diagon Alley. When she had sent Galena away with her message, she wrote another quick note to Myra to send out the next morning, hoping that her friend would not be able to join them. It would make it that much harder to slip away and see Sirius if Myra were there. She thought about just telling her mother that the Mackenzie's couldn't come, but decided against it, knowing with her luck her mother would bring it up to Mrs. MacKenzie the next time she saw her.

Just as she was climbing into bed, Galena flew back in the window with Sirius' reply.

_I'm glad everything went well with the Mackenzie's. James' dad knows Mr. MacKenzie from the Ministry and he says he's a good bloke. My offer still stands if your dad doesn't change his mind. Personal bodyguard. Think about it._

_I'll be in Diagon Alley no matter what day you're there, you know that. It's been far too long already since I've seen you. I know you don't want to risk making your dad angrier, so I won't suggest that we meet until he's made his decision. Once he agrees to let you come back to school though, you won't be able to get rid of me. _Catherine grinned widely at this.

_James and I are going to see Remus tomorrow, so if you have any news, send Galena there. _Catherine glanced at the calendar next to her bed and saw that it was indeed the full moon the next day. She wondered if they were going to be able to stay with him during the night or they were just going to visit him during the day. Shrugging, she went back to the note. _We'll be home by dinner time, I'll send Leo if I haven't heard from you by then. _Well, that answered that question.

_Miss you and love you. Sirius._

Catherine smiled as she read the letter again, then folded it up and put it in her nightstand drawer with the other letters she had received from him this summer. As she snuggled down under her covers, Catherine's last thought was that her father just had to let her go back to school, he just had to.

* * *

The next morning, Catherine went downstairs to breakfast and found her father alone at the table.

"Where's Mum?" she asked, as she poured herself a bowl of cereal and sat down.

"She went to the market," her father replied. "I thought you and I should talk."

"Okay," Catherine said warily. This didn't bode well, her parents usually gave her good news together.

"It's about school," her father said and Catherine nodded as she put a bite of cereal into her mouth. "I thought about everything that the MacKenzie's said last night and all that you have told me, but I'm still very concerned about what I read in that newspaper article." Catherine's heart sunk.

"You know what I told you last night, about keeping you safe," Thomas continued. "And I can't stand it that you're so far away and I have no idea if you are safe or not. I put a lot of trust into these teachers at your school and I realized that I don't know if I should." Catherine's heart sunk further and she could feel the tears forming in the back of her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. "You're the most important thing in the world to me Catherine, you and your mother, and if anything happened to either of you, I could never forgive myself. Which is why I've come to the decision that I have." Catherine was looking down at her bowl, her appetite completely gone. This was it, he wasn't letting her go back to school. "I'm sending you back to Hogwarts."

"Daddy, please, you can't," Catherine began. "Wait, what?"

"I'm sending you back to Hogwarts," her father repeated, grin breaking over his face.

"You, you, what?" Catherine said again, still not quite able to believe what her father had said. He sat in silence, smiling at her until Catherine had processed his words. "Oh Daddy, thank you," she said, jumping up and hugging her father. He chuckled, patting her back until she released him.

"What made you change your mind?" she asked as she sat back down and attacked her cereal with renewed vigor.

"Oh it wasn't any one thing," he said. "A lot of what Duncan said made sense though. I'm still worried, my mind hasn't changed about that, but I know that you love it there and as loathe as I am to admit it, you live in a different world now. But make no mistake, if anything does happen, I won't hesitate to take you out of that school for good." His look brokered no room for argument and Catherine made a mental note to avoid the Slytherins as much as possible this year. She thanked Merlin that Lancaster and Dewhurst had graduated last spring.

"I understand," Catherine said, hugging her father again. "Thank you." She jumped up from the table, clearing her dishes away to the sink. "I have to go owl Myra and tell her I'll be at Diagon Alley the day after tomorrow." She walked back to the table and kissed her father on the cheek. "I love you Daddy."

"Love you too princess," he said and Catherine didn't even cringe at the childhood nickname as she ran upstairs to owl Myra and Sirius.

* * *

**24 August 1977**

Catherine walked toward Flourish and Blotts with Myra, their mothers trailing behind. She glanced at her watch again and realized they only had about a half hour until she was supposed to meet with Sirius. Catherine and her mother had met up with the Mackenzie's right after lunch and Catherine had told Sirius to wait until 3:00 to meet her. Figuring they would be finished shopping by then, she hoped that the Mackenzie's would have gone home and she could convince her mother to get ice cream at Fortescue's before leaving. She would have been able to sneak off easily from there. But Myra had needed new robes and they had spent longer than Catherine expected in the apothecary and now they only had 30 minutes to get all their books and get rid of Myra and her mother.

'I sound horrible, talking about getting rid of my best friend,' Catherine thought to herself, shaking her head.

"Are you all right?" Myra asked, glancing at her.

"Fine," Catherine replied, smiling at Myra.

"You seem," Myra paused, looking at Catherine more intently, "distracted."

"Just thinking about school I guess," Catherine said shrugging. "O.W.L. year and all that."

"Yeah, Maggie was trying to scare me last night with all these horror stories about it," Myra replied. "She said one girl in her year fainted during the Transfiguration exam." Catherine looked at Myra, surprised expression on her face, then broke into giggles when she saw Myra's smirk.

"If it happens to someone in our year, I hope it's Celia Hargrove," Catherine said, her lip curling in disgust. The Slytherin girl was one of the nastiest to Catherine. Myra nodded in agreement, she too had her fair share of insults from the girl.

"N.E.W.T.s are even worse," Myra said. "Maybe Avery or Wilkes will accidentally curse themselves during the Defense Against the Dark Arts exam." Catherine laughed.

"We could only be so lucky," she replied and the two girls entered Flourish and Blotts.

Twenty minutes later, they were finished with all of their shopping and headed back toward the Leaky Cauldron. Catherine was keeping an eye out for Sirius, but so far hadn't spotted him. As they approached Florean Fortescue's, Catherine slowed her pace until her mother caught up with her.

"Mum, I'm kind of hungry," Catherine said. "Can we stay and get some ice cream?"

"Oh, well I suppose so," Jane replied, smiling at Catherine. "Care to join us?" she asked as she turned to Fiona. Catherine's heart sunk. She should have waited to ask until the Mackenzie's had left.

"Sounds wonderful," Fiona answered. "Myra?" Myra nodded and the quartet made their way into the shop to order.

They sat at a table outside and Catherine glanced around every few minutes, hoping to catch a glimpse of Sirius. Her mother and Myra's mother seemed in no hurry to leave, the two hadn't stopped talking since they sat down. Myra was looking through one of their new books while she ate her ice cream sundae. Finally, Catherine saw something out of the corner of her eye and glanced up to see Sirius approaching their table.

Her heart began to pound very loudly in her chest, wondering just what Sirius was planning on doing. Myra looked up as Sirius' shadow fell across their table, a look of surprise on her face. She looked at Catherine and then back to Sirius, but neither gave anything away.

"Catherine, I thought that was you," Sirius said with a smile as he reached the table. "Oh and Myra is with you as well."

"Hello, Sirius," Catherine said, praying that her voice sounded normal. She smiled slightly at him.

"Hi, Sirius," Myra said, still looking back and forth between the two.

"And who are these lovely ladies with you?" Sirius asked. "Catherine you never told me you had a sister." Catherine nearly choked on the bite of ice cream she had put into her mouth before Sirius' arrival, Myra snorted loudly and smothered a laugh.

"Sorry. Sirius, this is my mum, Jane," Catherine said. "Mum, Sirius Black. He goes to school with us. And this is Myra's mother, Fiona." Sirius nodded to both women.

"A pleasure Mrs. Powell, Mrs. MacKenzie," he said.

"Well, quite the charmer aren't you?" Fiona said and then she frowned. "Black, you wouldn't be related to Orion Black would you?"

"Unfortunately yes," Sirius replied, apologetic expression on his face. "He is my father." Fiona just nodded, eyes narrowing as she looked Sirius up and down.

"So, you go to school with the girls," Jane said, a bit confused at Fiona's reaction to the boy. "Are you in Ravenclaw as well?"

"No ma'am," Sirius replied. "I'm a Gryffindor. I'll be starting my seventh year." He smiled and looked back at Mrs. MacKenzie whose expression had lightened considerably as Sirius told them what house he was in.

"Why don't you join us?" Jane asked, smiling at Sirius.

"Thank you, but I really need to go and get all my supplies for school," Sirius replied. Mrs. Potter is expecting me for dinner."

"Mrs. Potter?" Fiona said. "As in Charles Potter, works at the Ministry?"

"Yes, ma'am," Sirius replied politely. "James Potter is my best mate, I've been staying with them since I left home last year." Fiona nodded and smiled, apparently having finally approved of Sirius. "It was nice meeting you, Mrs. Powell, Mrs. MacKenzie. Myra, Catherine." He nodded to both girls and as he turned to go, dropped something into Catherine's lap. Catherine gripped it in her fist, going back to her melting ice cream, so as not to have to look Myra in the eye.

"What was all that about Fiona?" Jane asked, her brow furrowed. "You didn't seem too keen on the boy at first."

"Oh, well, Duncan was in school with Orion Black, Sirius' father. Duncan was a few years younger, but Orion was a nasty sort. All that pureblood superiority nonsense," Mrs. MacKenzie shook her head in disgust. "And I never knew his wife, but I've heard even worse stories about her. I can just imagine how they would have raised their children."

"Sirius isn't like that," Catherine insisted vehemently, feeling the need to defend Sirius to her mother. "He's been disowned by his parents because he wouldn't go along with what they believed. He lives with the Potters now."

"Oh, that poor child," Jane said, shaking her head sadly, while Fiona clucked her tongue. Myra was looking at Catherine a bit strangely, as if surprised by her outburst. Remembering the note in her hand, Catherine coughed and dropped it, then leaned down and began to rummage through one of the bags under the table. She picked up the note as she did so and opened it.

_Think of an excuse and meet me in front of Madam Malkin's._

Catherine crumpled the note in her fist and began to rummage through her bag again.

"Oh no," she exclaimed as she sat up.

"What is it dear?" Jane asked, concern on her face.

"I forgot I needed more ink," Catherine said. "I can't believe I didn't pick it up when I got my new quills." She shook her head disbelievingly at herself. "I'll just run back and get some quickly. Just stay here Mum, I'll be right back."

"I'll go with you," Myra said, standing up. Before Catherine could protest, she was cut off by Mrs. MacKenzie.

"Oh no you won't," Fiona said. "I can't believe how late it's gotten. We need to get home Myra." She stood and gestured to her daughter. "Set all your bags up here, I'll shrink them down for the trip."

"We're apparating?" Myra whined as she pulled her bags onto the table.

"Yes, we're apparating," Fiona replied. "It's fastest and then we don't have to walk back to the Leaky." Myra sighed and muttered under her breath, something about being warned before eating ice cream, but stood and went to her mother's side nonetheless.

"We must have you over for dinner next week before the girls return to school," Fiona was saying to Jane as she stowed the shrunken bags into the pockets of her robes.

"That sounds wonderful," Jane agreed. "Just send an owl and let us know." The two women embraced and then Fiona held out her arm for Myra to take.

"Good-bye Catherine," Fiona said. "It was lovely to see you."

"Bye, Mrs. MacKenzie, bye Myra," Catherine replied. Myra just waved and then with a crack, the two were gone. Jane jumped at the noise and then looked back incredulously at Catherine.

"What on earth was that?" she asked.

"Apparition," Catherine replied, smiling. "It is a bit disconcerting." Jane simple shook her head and sat back down in her seat at the table.

"Mum, I'll just go run and get that ink, all right?" Catherine said, standing from the table.

"Do you want me to go with you dear?" Jane asked, but Catherine shook her head.

"No, it's all right, you just stay here," Catherine said. "I'll be right back."

Catherine hurried down the street to Madame Malkin's, hoping that Sirius hadn't given up on her yet. When she came round the corner, though, he was standing in front of the shop, shifting from foot to foot.

"Catherine," he said, a wide grin breaking over his face when he saw her. She smiled back and ran to him, throwing her arms around his neck. He kissed her quickly on the cheek, then looked around and pulled her into the alleyway between Madame Malkin's and Amanuensis Quills. Before she could kiss him, he pulled something out from his robes and threw it over the two of them.

"What is this?" Catherine asked, fingering the silvery material.

"Invisibility cloak," Sirius said, smiling.

"Invisibility cloak?" she asked and he nodded. "Where in Merlin's name did you get this?"

"Nicked it from James," he replied, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"What if he finds out you took it?" she asked worriedly.

"He won't," Sirius insisted. "He's too wrapped up in Lily to notice anything." Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Lily? Lily Evans?" Catherine asked, as Sirius pulled her closer to him and kissed her neck.

"Mm-hm," he said, working his way up her neck to her jaw.

"I thought she hated him," Catherine said, confusion on her face. Sirius sighed and pulled back slightly.

"She did, but I guess now she doesn't because they've been owling all summer and today she agreed to meet him for tea," Sirius explained. "Now if you don't mind, I haven't seen you for almost a week and I'd rather not talk about James and Lily. Or anything else for that matter." And with that, he kissed her, Catherine smiling at first at his small tantrum and then losing herself in the kiss.

After fifteen minutes, Catherine reluctantly broke away from Sirius.

"I have to go, Mum will be wondering where I am," she said sighing. He hugged her to him and then pulled the cloak off of them, checking at the mouth of the alley to make sure no one was watching.

"Do you want to meet tomorrow?" he asked, but Catherine shook her head.

"I can't, we've got to go to a party that my dad's boss is having. They do it every summer, a company thing. It will last most of the day."

"And I can't the next day because James and I are going to the Puddlemere match," Sirius said, pursing his lips in thought. "And then his parents are taking us to France for a couple of days."

"What for?" Catherine asked.

"Some ancient relative of James' died," Sirius said. "He begged me to come with to the funeral. I expect he's afraid he'll be bored to death if I don't." Catherine snickered at the joke.

"We might have to wait until we're back at school, then" Catherine said, as she walked into the quill shop to buy the ink she really didn't need.

"That's another week away," Sirius complained.

"Yes, but then I can see you every day," Catherine said, kissing his cheek as she carried the ink to the counter.

"We'll see," he said. "Maybe when we get back from France." Catherine just nodded as she paid for the ink and then walked out of the shop. Sirius looked around and then kissed her quickly on the lips.

"I'll owl," he said.

"Every night," she replied smiling.

"Well, I really do have to get my things and Mrs. Potter is expecting me for dinner." He leaned in and whispered in her ear. "I love you."

"Me too," she replied and then watched as he turned and walked towards Gringott's. Catherine sighed and tuned the other way, heading back to Fortescue's to find her mother and wishing that it was September.


	8. Keeping Secrets

**A/N - This chapter is a bit shorter than previous ones, but was the best place to end it. More Sirius and Catherine fluffiness. Thanks to all who have alerted, reviewed and put this story in their favorites! Enjoy! **

**Chapter 8**

**Keeping Secrets**

**1 September 1977**

Catherine hurried through the barrier to platform 9 ¾, looking for both Sirius and Myra. She didn't think Myra would be here yet, the train didn't leave for another 20 minutes after all, but she was hoping she might see Sirius before they had to board. They could always go back through to the muggle side of King's Cross for a few minutes of privacy. But as she pulled her trunk onto the train and stowed it in a compartment, she hadn't seen either one of them. Catherine sat by the window of the compartment, watching and waiting.

She hadn't seen Sirius since she had gotten her things for school. The Potters had stayed in France an extra day and once they had finally returned, James had dragged Sirius with him back to Diagon Alley, having not gotten his school supplies yet. Catherine's mother had then volunteered to watch the neighbor's children for two days while the neighbors were in London tending to a sick relative. Catherine had been enlisted to help. Catherine and her parents had indeed gone to dinner at Myra's two nights before school started and then it was a day of packing and last minute errands before coming to King's Cross this morning.

Catherine giggled as she remembered her father's face when they had landed after apparating. He was rather green and stumbled before Mr. MacKenzie had steadied him. Her mother had followed with Mrs. MacKenzie and while she stumbled as well, she didn't seem nearly as sick. It took almost 20 minutes for her father's stomach to stop rolling and Catherine had to clap her hand over her mouth to stifle her laugh when he realized he would have to return home in the same way.

"You seemed to have handled it rather well," Mr. MacKenzie had said when Catherine had landed upright and sure on her feet with no hint of sickness. "First-timers normally have quite a bit of trouble." Catherine had quickly said something about being a natural and hoped that the blush on her face was attributed to the compliment and not the fact that she was lying. She and Sirius had apparated all over England during the summer, a fact she was not intending to share with anyone.

Lost in her reverie, Catherine almost missed the two black-haired boys that had just come through the barrier. James and Sirius made their way toward the train, although both seemed to be looking around for someone else. Catherine assumed Lily in James' case and she was rather sure she knew who Sirius was looking for. She knocked on her window as he walked under it, but he seemed not to hear. Catherine wasn't surprised, given how noisy the platform normally was. She got up and went to the door of the car, but as she looked round, saw no sight of either of them. Sighing, she turned to go back to her compartment, when she heard someone call her name.

"Myra!" she exclaimed, as her friend walked hurriedly toward the train. Myra turned back and hugged her mother quickly before climbing on and stowing her trunk in the compartment Catherine had procured. Both girls waved to Myra's mother as they sat down.

"Have you seen Ian?" Myra asked, as the train started to pull away from the station.

"No, but then I wasn't really looking for him," Catherine replied. "Will he come find you?"

"Probably," Myra said. "He had the prefects meeting first thing. Wonder who it is from our house?"

"Sharon Russell, I'll bet," Catherine replied. Myra nodded.

"And probably Mark Devlin," Myra added.

"Most likely," Catherine agreed. The two sat and talked for a while before Myra pulled out her exploding snap cards. Just as they were about to begin a game, the door to their compartment opened and Sharon Russell stood in the doorway, a shiny new prefect's badge pinned to the front of her robes.

"Hi Sharon," Catherine said, smiling at her dorm mate. "Congratulations."

"Thanks," Sharon said, returning the smile. "Do you mind if I join you? Elena and Sean seemed to be joined at the lips these days. It's rather nauseating." Myra and Catherine laughed and waved the girl inside. Elena Rosales was their other year mate and Sharon's best friend.

"I saw Ian at the prefect's meeting," Sharon said, turning to Myra as she dealt out the cards. Myra nodded and blushed as usual.

"Who else are prefects this year?" Catherine asked and Sharon began to name them off.

"Oh and guess who the girl prefect is from Slytherin?" she said, shaking her head in disgust.

"Who?" asked Myra.

"Celia Hargrove," Sharon replied and both girls moaned in protest.

"You're kidding," Catherine said, quite unable to believe it.

"No," Sharon said shaking her head. "I have to say, I'm not surprised really. I mean, you know how she acts around the teachers, especially Professor Slughorn, all sweet and innocent and complimentary. And her father has some kind of connection to the Professor as well, I'm not sure what exactly, but Celia sure drops his name a lot, whenever she's around the Professor." Catherine shivered at the thought of Celia having any kind of power.

"What about Head Boy and Girl?" Myra asked.

"Lily Evans is Head Girl," Sharon said and the other two nodded, not surprised by this selection. "And you'll never guess who Head Boy is."

"Who?" Catherine prompted, when Sharon began to laugh.

"James Potter!" she exclaimed and Myra and Catherine gaped at her. "Can you imagine? Mr. Prankster himself made Head Boy?"

"But, he wasn't even a prefect," protested Myra. "How could he be Head Boy?"

"I don't know," Sharon said shrugging. "But he is." And with that, the deck of cards exploded, sending sparks flying into the air. The three girls shrieked, then gathered up the cards. Before Myra could begin to deal them out again, however, Sharon stood.

"Well, I think I'll go see if Elena has disentangled herself from Sean yet," she said, shaking her head. "I'll see you two at the feast."

"Bye Sharon," Catherine said as the other girl left the compartment.

"James Potter, Head Boy. Can you believe it?" Myra asked, as she tucked her cards back into her trunk.

"No, I can't, actually," Catherine agreed, chuckling a little. "I wonder what Sirius will have to say about this."

"Are you still going to study with him this year?" Myra asked, looking very interested at the mention of Sirius' name.

"Maybe," Catherine shrugged noncommittally. "We'll have to see how I do in Transfiguration, I guess." Myra eyed her for a few minutes, then shook her head. Just as she opened her mouth to ask another question, the compartment door opened and Ian stepped inside.

"Hi," Myra said, smile growing wide on her face.

"Hi," he replied, smiling just as hugely. Catherine snickered into her hand, then stood.

"I think I'll go take a walk," she announced, although she wasn't sure if either of the other two people in her compartment were paying any attention. Shaking her head, she left, making sure she had her wand this time. She made her way down the car, glancing into compartments as she passed, keeping an eye out for Sirius. There seemed to be mostly younger years in their car, many she knew had to be first years. As she reached the end and opened the door to step through to the next car, she tripped on the lip of the door and fell into someone.

"Well, this seems to be a recurring theme of ours," she heard a voice say and looked up into Sirius' laughing eyes.

"Sirius," she breathed and then looked quickly behind her and then ahead into the next car. Seeing no one in either corridor, she reached up and pulled his head towards her, kissing him deeply. She sighed once she had let him go and smiled up at him.

"Hi," she said.

"Hi yourself," he replied, putting a hand to her cheek. "Come on, I've found a spot back here." He turned back to the compartment he had just come from and she followed. They went through two more cars and then he ducked into a small room at the back of a third. She followed and he drew the curtain across the doorway.

The room was about half the size of one of the compartments with hooks that ringed the walls. There was a shelf that sat above the row of hooks, but the room was empty.

"What's this for?" Catherine asked curiously.

"Cloak room, I think," said Sirius. "But since we all have trunks it doesn't get used. Makes you wonder if they use the train for other things besides just getting us back and forth to school."

"Makes sense, doesn't it?" Catherine replied. "We only use the train a few times a year. They must do something else with it in between times."

"Probably," Sirius agreed, then turned to the curtain and waved his wand at it, muttering a spell. "Now, enough about the train." And he gently walked her backwards until she leaned against the back wall of the room, took her face in his hands, and kissed her again.

When they parted, Sirius wrapped her in his arms and sighed contentedly.

"I'm so glad we're going back to school," he said. "A week without seeing you is far, far too long."

"I agree," she said, her head against his chest. They stood there for a few minutes and then Sirius conjured a large cushion for them to sit on and they leaned against the wall, his arm around Catherine's shoulders.

"So I hear James is Head Boy," she said and he began to laugh.

"Yes, can you believe it?" he asked, still snickering. "I meant to tell you when I met you in Diagon Alley, but we didn't have much time. I think that's why Lily agreed to see him, though. Probably figures since she has to deal with him all year, they might as well be friends."

"What's going on with them anyway?" Catherine asked, snuggling closer into his side.

"They're just talking mostly," Sirius said with a shrug. "James is trying not to annoy her." Catherine chuckled.

"So, I guess the Marauders are out of the pranking business," she said. Sirius sat up straight and pulled away from her.

"What are you talking about?" he protested. "The Marauders will never be done with pranks."

"Well one of your members _is_ Head Boy," she pointed out, holding back a laugh.

"And Remus has been a prefect for two years," Sirius replied. "That never stopped us."

"I don't know Sirius, if James is trying to impress Lily, he might want to back off on the pranks," Catherine continued. "That, plus being Head Boy? I think your days are numbered." And then she sat back to watch the show. Sirius' face went from one of indignation to brow-furrowing concentration to wide-eyed horror. Not able to help herself when she saw the last, Catherine began to giggle and then laugh loudly when Sirius turned his face to hers. Realizing she had been teasing him, he scowled at her while she fell to her side, laughing.

"I'm glad you think I'm so amusing," he said, crossing his arms in front of him, scowl still on his face.

"I can't help it," Catherine said, still laughing, lying on her side on the cushion. "You're such an easy target."

"Easy am I?" he asked, turning toward her with a gleam in his eye. Catherine immediately stopped laughing and turned wary.

"What are you going to - ? Oof," Catherine said as Sirius pounced on her as Padfoot. The dog began to lick her face and neck, ignoring Catherine's shrieks as she tried to push him off of her. After a few minutes of torture, Sirius was back, still on all fours, leaning over her. Catherine reached up and ran an arm across her face.

"That was disgusting," she said, irritated. Sirius just chuckled and remained where he was.

"You know what they say," he said, waggling his eyebrows at her. "If you can't run with the big dogs, stay on the porch."

"Ha-ha," she snapped back, rolling her eyes at him. He just smiled at her and then leaned down and kissed her. Catherine put her hands around his neck and scooted herself until she was lying on her back. Sirius left her mouth and kissed her neck and Catherine drew in a sharp breath. He stopped, looking at her, and then sat up, reaching a hand out and pulling her up with him.

"We should probably get back," he said, tucking a curl behind her ear. "Myra will wonder where you've gotten to."

"Probably," she said, still breathing heavily. Sirius stood and helped her to her feet. He vanished the cushion and then kissed her once more before unsealing the curtain. He looked out into the hall and seeing no one, opened the curtain and led her out of the room.

"I'm back this way," he said, pointing in the opposite direction from where her compartment lay. "Do you want me to walk you back?"

"No, that's all right," she said. "I've got my wand this time." Sirius nodded and looked around, then leaned in and whispered in her ear.

"Tomorrow night, after dinner." She nodded, his breath tickling the side of her neck. "I love you." And then he kissed her behind the ear and she gasped. He stood and smirked at her, to which she rolled her eyes, and then he turned and walked back towards his compartment. Catherine watched him go, then shook herself and turned the other way, glad for the three cars that she had between her and Myra to get herself back under control.

* * *

**July 1993**

Catherine shuddered in spite of herself, the feel of Sirius' lips behind her ear still tingling on her skin as she pulled herself from the memories once again. She brought a hand up and rubbed lightly at the spot, the tingling feeling fading slowly. She sighed and looked down and saw that she had indeed weeded the entire flowerbed, although she had no real memory of doing so.

"At least I didn't pull up the flowers along with the weeds," she muttered to herself. Catherine stood up from the stool and stretched, rolling her shoulders to release some of the knots in her back. She picked up the stool and spade and took them back to the shed, then went into the house and washed her hands.

Standing with her back to the sink, Catherine glanced at the refrigerator and the pictures that littered its doors. One of her mother's cousins lived in the States and she had recently sent them a picture of her daughter from her prom, a formal dance that was held in the spring. Catherine smiled at the wide grin on the girl's face, Emily was her name Catherine remembered, as she stood with her date, their arms around each other's waists.

Catherine remembered the one dance she had attended and snorted at the memory. She wondered if they still held balls at Hogwarts and if they did, if Ellie would be asked to one.

"If she is, I certainly hope she has a better time than I did," Catherine said aloud, shaking her head, but smiling just the same. "What a mess that was."

* * *

**3 October 1977**

"Catherine," she heard as she stepped into the common room. She saw a blur from across the room that materialized into Myra as she stopped in front of Catherine, nearly bowling her over in the process. "Sorry," Myra said, as she grabbed her friend's arms to steady her. "But did you hear?"

"Hear what?" Catherine asked, looking at Myra in confusion.

"About the ball!" Myra exclaimed.

"What ball?" Catherine asked again, still just as confused.

"There's going to be a Halloween ball," Myra replied. "The Saturday before Halloween, for fourth years and above. Aren't you excited?" Myra was literally bouncing up and down on her toes in front of Catherine.

"Sure, sounds great," Catherine said, but without any enthusiasm. A ball that she couldn't go to because the only person she would want to go with was Sirius and he wouldn't allow it. They had had another row about their 'secret relationship' just the night before. While it had been a bit exciting at first, Catherine was tired of only being able to see Sirius in secret for an hour or two at a time and she was tired of pretending like she felt nothing for him when she saw him in the corridors and she was most tired of watching other girls throw themselves at him. She knew that nothing was happening, that Sirius was just keeping up appearances, but watching him flirt with what seemed like every other girl in the castle was wearing on her. She hated it, but when she had brought it up to him the night before, it had just led to a row.

"Sirius, I can take care of myself," she insisted again.

"I know that you think you can," he had replied, pacing up and down in the room, running a hand through his hair. "But, Catherine, these people know dark magic. Most of them have been raised around it their entire lives. They know things, spells, potions, you couldn't possibly even imagine."

"And if any of them used anything Dark, you know that they would be expelled in an instant," she retorted, beginning to get annoyed with his overprotectiveness. "They're not going to do that."

"You can't be so sure!" Sirius had yelled. "They don't care if they get expelled, not after the accolades they would get for getting rid of one more mudblood and punishing a blood traitor."

"That's ridiculous and you know it," she yelled back. "If that were true, muggle-borns would be getting hexed left and right."

"It's different now," Sirius had roared. "You don't see it because of where you live, all you know is what's reported in the Prophet and that's bad enough, believe me. But James and I heard things, a lot more things, this summer. They're getting bolder, more open about what they're doing. His dad had stories all the time from the Ministry. And then Regulus," he trailed off, shaking his head.

"What about Regulus?" Catherine asked, eyes narrowing suspiciously.

"Nothing," Sirius replied, looking away from her.

"Don't tell me nothing, Sirius," Catherine insisted.

"Fine," he said, sighing and sinking down onto the couch next to her. "He cornered me yesterday." She started to protest, but he held up a hand to quiet her. "Nothing happened, I'm fine. He didn't even draw his wand on me. But he had a message." Sirius sighed again and scrubbed a hand down his face. "Someone saw us that day in Diagon Alley. I don't know who it was or what they saw exactly, but Regulus heard about it. Anyway, he said that he hoped I wasn't 'tainting my blood' further than I already had. And he let me know, in no uncertain terms, that there were people that were more than ready to 'take care of' my little problem should it come to that."

"Your 'little problem' meaning me," Catherine had replied. Sirius just nodded.

"I convinced him that he was mistaken, that I had merely run into you and Myra and said hello and nothing more. I admitted that I had tutored you last year in Transfiguration, but that was all. I think that he believed me, but I can't be sure," he said. "That's why we have to be even more careful now."

"Sirius, I," but Sirius interrupted her.

"No, listen to me Catherine, you don't understand," he said, turning to her. "You don't know what it's like to be a pureblood whose family bases everything on the fact that your blood is untainted and that they can trace their line back hundreds of years."

"Explain it to me then," Catherine said, leaning forward and grasping Sirius' hand.

"The House of Black prides itself on the fact that there is nothing but magical blood in our lineage. And anytime anyone did decide to marry anyone without the purest of blood, they were immediately disowned. The problem is, in the last couple of hundred years, those that can claim they have the purest of blood has been dwindling. So we've begun to marry our cousins. My own parents are second cousins." Catherine blanched at this and Sirius nodded. "Yes disturbing, I know. When I was small, a marriage contract was set up for me. Purebloods normally do not get to choose who they will marry, although that practice is becoming less popular. Some families give their children more leeway, as long as they pick someone suitable."

"Wait a minute," Catherine interrupted. "You're engaged to someone?"

"Well, I was," Sirius replied. "But the contract was broken when I was sorted into Gryffindor. It was one of the reasons my parents wanted a resort, although I refused. They tried to negotiate with the girl's father, but he was adamant about nullifying the contract. My parents finally agreed, albeit reluctantly, but my mother insisted they would make another match for me. My father decided not to however, I think that he felt he had lost enough gold where I was concerned. They had to pay the girl's father because he had to go out and try and find another match. My mother would still remind me that, even though I had no contract, I was still expected to choose someone acceptable." Sirius snorted. "Obviously there are those that still feel that way, even though I was disowned."

"Why would it matter anymore?" Catherine asked. "For that matter why would they want you, being a blood traitor and all?"

"Truly pure blood is getting harder and harder to find," Sirius said. "And a pureblooded male even less so. I'm sure there are plenty of families who would overlook my blood traitor status if it meant they would have an heir."

"It sounds like they're talking about breeding show dogs," Catherine said disgustedly.

"It's pretty much the same thing," Sirius agreed, shivering himself. "But this is why I'm telling you that we have to be extremely careful. If Regulus is deigning to talk to me, it's because there really is suspicion. And with all the inbreeding that goes on, there are more than a few purebloods who are just a bit mad. Some more than others. They wouldn't give a fig about getting expelled if it meant getting rid of an obstacle to getting me back on their side."

"But you wouldn't," Catherine protested. "You wouldn't go to them if they did anything to someone you cared about. It would just make you angrier, more insistent about not following their rules and traditions."

"I know that, but they don't," Sirius replied. "Look, if I had been married under the marriage contract, there would have been some kind of clause in there that once I had produced a suitable male heir, I was free to look elsewhere for my, entertainment, if you know what I mean."

"That's sick," Catherine said. "They give you permission to cheat on your wife?"

"Yes," Sirius said. "So I think that's why they think I would come back over if you were gone. They look at you as distraction, not someone I care about because to them, marriage and relationships aren't about love, they're about power and wealth and what's best for the bloodline. No one cares if you love your husband or your wife, as long as you do your duty and produce an heir. It's been this way for a very long time, but Voldemort has just made it worse. Before, people were disowned and disinherited for breaking with tradition, but he insists that the only way to deal with anyone who is not of pureblood is to get rid of them or enslave them. So you would be just a problem that needs to be solved. And you know their way of solving problems."

Catherine sat in silence, unable to believe that there were people in the world that thought this way. She had never once thought of marriage as a contract or means to an end, but something one did because they truly loved the other person and wanted to be with them forever. She shuddered at the thought of how Sirius must have been raised and wondered how he had turned into the man that he was now. Sirius, seeing her shiver, wrapped his arms around her and she rested her head on his shoulder. He rubbed her back and kissed her cheek and whispered, 'I love you' into her ear. She squeezed him tighter and told him she loved him too and the two sat that way for quite some time.

When she pulled back, Catherine put a hand to his cheek and smiled at him.

"I understand, truly I do," she said. "And I don't like it, but I'll do what you want. For now."

"Thank you," he said. "And I don't like it any more than you do. But I won't give them another reason to come after you. Because it would be you they would come after. They wouldn't want to endanger me and my precious blood when they could just easily force me to do what they wanted."

"They could never force you," she said, shaking her head.

"Oh, I don't know. A good Imperius or compulsion charm and they might be able to," he said. "Or if they threatened you. I might do whatever they wanted if they threatened you."

"No, you wouldn't," she insisted. "Because you know that if they threatened me, they would follow through, whether you did what they wanted or not. They don't play fair."

"Maybe you're right," Sirius agreed. "But let's not get in that situation to find out, shall we?" She nodded and he leaned back against the couch while she scooted into his side.

"So who was she?" Catherine asked.

"Who was who?" he responded.

"The girl you were supposed to marry," Catherine replied.

"Oh, does it really matter?" Sirius asked.

"No," Catherine said, shrugging her shoulders. "But I'm curious."

"Celia Hargrove," he said. Catherine shot straight up on the couch and stared at him. "What?" he asked, surprised by her reaction.

"Celia Hargrove?" she repeated and he nodded. Catherine clenched her teeth and her hands went into fists at her sides. "Does she know?"

"I don't know," Sirius replied. "I suppose she does. I heard she's promised to Avery now instead. What is the problem?"

"I can't stand her is all," Catherine answered, forcing her hands to relax and unclenching her jaw. "And the feeling is definitely mutual, believe me. Although it seems to have gotten more personal since last year."

"What do you mean, more personal?" Sirius asked concern plain on his face.

"Well, before it was just the general hissing, calling me mudblood when she saw me, like a lot of the Slytherins do," Catherine said. "But ever since last fall, she seems to have concentrated on me specifically. She's nastier, makes pointed comments only to me, and Myra sometimes, but only when Myra's with me. I don't know, it just seems like it's gotten more about me, myself, than the fact that I'm a muggle-born."

"And last fall is when we started studying together," Sirius said, his eyes narrowing in concentration.

"Maybe that's why," Catherine agreed. "Maybe she thinks she still has a chance with you, but not if you're with me. And let's face it, I'd take you over Avery any day." Catherine grimaced as she thought of the other boy.

"Well that's a ringing endorsement if I ever heard one," Sirius said dryly. Catherine leaned forward and kissed him until he was breathless.

"How's that for an endorsement?" she asked cheekily.

"Much better," Sirius growled and pounced on her once again.

* * *

"Catherine," Myra said, waving a hand in front of her face. Catherine shook herself out of her reverie and looked at her friend.

"Sorry," Catherine said. "What were you saying?"

"Where did you go just then?" Myra asked her brow furrowed in confusion.

"Nowhere," Catherine insisted.

"Daydreaming about who you want to take you to the dance?" Myra asked, grinning.

"Something like that," Catherine replied, trying to smile.

"So, who is it?" Myra asked eagerly, her grin widening. She had been trying to set Catherine up with all manner of boys since they returned to school, but Catherine had always politely refused.

"No one, really," Catherine replied, shrugging her shoulders.

"Well you are going to go aren't you?" Myra asked.

"I don't think so," Catherine said, moving to walk around her friend.

"Why not?" Myra inquired, shifting to block Catherine's escape.

"Because there's no one I want to go with," Catherine answered, sighing. Myra looked at her, tilting her head and regarding her with narrowed eyes.

"You still fancy Sirius Black," Myra said. It was not a question.

"No Myra, I don't," Catherine said. "He's made it abundantly clear that he doesn't fancy me." Just that he loves me, she thought to herself and had to bite her cheek to keep from grinning.

"Well, you're never going to find someone else that you like, if you don't try a few out," Myra insisted. "I know that Ian's friend David would love to go with you. He's asked about you a few times."

"Myra, I said I'm not going," Catherine insisted, flopping down onto a couch in the common room and letting her bag thunk to the floor when she could see her friend was not going to let her escape upstairs.

"Come on, please, for me," Myra begged. "It won't be any fun without you there." Catherine looked up at Myra as she stuck out her lip and batted her eyelashes.

"Stop with the puppy dog face, that doesn't work on me," Catherine insisted. "I'll think about it." Myra squealed and hugged her.

"Hogsmeade is next weekend, you could meet him then and talk to him," Myra offered and Catherine rolled her eyes.

"I said I'd think about it, I didn't say yes," Catherine said.

"Okay, okay," Myra said placatingly, knowing that it was time to stop badgering her friend. Catherine glanced at her while the two pulled out homework from their bags. By the small smile on Myra's face, Catherine could tell that she had something up her sleeve. Merlin only knew what.


	9. Fights and Forgiveness

**A/N - Time for chapter 9! Thanks again to those who have reviewed! Feel free to let me know what you think, even if it's just a few words. I love feedback! ****Enjoy! **

**Chapter 9**

**Fights and Forgiveness**

**29 October 1977**

I can't believe I'm doing this, Catherine thought to herself while she pinned her hair up on her head. Her dress robes were deep burgundy accented with black. She smiled as she thought of the irony of the colors she had chosen. At least I'll see Sirius there, even if I can't be his date, she thought.

Myra had ambushed her on Hogsmeade weekend, two weeks before the dance. When they had gotten to the Great Hall to let Filch check their names off the list, Ian and David had been standing there waiting for them. Myra played innocent as if she had no idea the two boys were going to meet them, but Catherine knew better. Still, she decided to grin and bear it for her friend, smiling politely at David and making small talk with him as they made their way into the village. They had wandered through the shops until they grew tired, then went into the Three Broomsticks for butterbeer and lunch.

When they came inside, Catherine saw Sirius, Remus and Peter sitting at a table in the back, James presumably with Lily somewhere. Sirius had looked up when they entered and she gave him a small smile. His eyes had narrowed when she and Myra had sat down with the two Hufflepuffs and Catherine noticed that he kept very close watch on their table. His hand flinched once or twice and Catherine wondered if he were planning to draw his wand. She tried to ignore him, but her eyes seemed to have a will of their own and were constantly drawn to him.

After a few minutes, Catherine could no longer stand it and excused herself to go to the loo. David stood and helped her with her chair and Catherine smiled and then walked quickly toward the back of the pub. When she passed Sirius' table her eyes darted to the side for one second, but Sirius wasn't looking at her. She took a breath and entered the hall that led to the bathrooms. Before she could enter the loo, however, she felt hot breath on the back of her neck and a hand grasped her wrist. She gasped and turned around and then Sirius was kissing her. He pulled her across the hall into a small storeroom, never taking his lips from hers until they were safely hidden in the room.

"What are you doing?" she hissed as he released her.

"Who is that at your table?" he asked, his eyes smoldering.

"Ian and Myra," she said, crossing her arms in front of her defiantly.

"And," he growled.

"Why does it matter?" she asked, getting angry now.

"Because I've been watching him looking at you and I don't like it," Sirius replied.

"Jealous?" she asked, stepping closer to him.

"Is that what this is about, you're trying to make me jealous?" he asked, watching her closely.

"I wasn't planning it, but it seems to be working," she said, taking another step toward him. She wanted to put her arms around his neck, but she hesitated, crossing them in front of her instead.

"Fine, yes I'm jealous. I'm jealous that he can sit there and smile at you and talk to you and I can't," Sirius ground out. "Happy?"

"No, I'm not happy," Catherine insisted. "I want the same things as you do, but you won't let me have them."

"That's not what this is about and you know it," Sirius retorted. Catherine sighed and leaned against him, his arms going around her.

"I know, I'm sorry," she said. "I hate this."

"So do I," he said, kissing the top of her head. "Now who is he?"

"His name's David, he's a friend of Ian's," Catherine said. "Myra is trying to set me up with him." Sirius growled and Catherine laughed. "She wants me to go to the ball with him." Sirius pulled back from her, his eyes hardening, his mouth in a thin line.

"Don't," he said. Catherine looked at him incredulously.

"Are you giving me an order Sirius Black?" she demanded, putting her hands on her hips. Sirius looked at her defiantly, then his shoulders slumped.

"Please, don't go," he said quietly. She sighed and hugged him again.

"You know Myra, she won't give up," Catherine said. "Unless she knew the reason why." She looked up at him, but he shook his head slightly. "Besides, it's not like I'm going to date him, it's just a dance." Sirius looked at her for a moment then pulled away.

"Fine, do what you want," he said, walking toward the door.

"Sirius, don't be like that," Catherine said, but Sirius ignored her and walked out the door. Catherine sighed and followed him after a few seconds. When she got back into the pub, Sirius and his friends were on their way out of the pub. Catherine watched him, waiting for him to turn around and when he didn't, she squared her shoulders and went back to her table. David stood and pulled her chair out for her and she gave him a smile and went back to her conversation.

Catherine had tried to get Sirius' attention at dinner the day after Hogsmeade, but he wouldn't meet her eye. She continued to go to her study room after dinner each night, hoping that Sirius would show up, but after a few days of sitting there alone, she went from being sad to being angry. She had nothing to apologize for, if she went to the ball it was only because her friend wanted her to and truth be told, Catherine did want to go. The next day Catherine told Myra that she would go to the ball with David if he still needed a date. Myra had immediately relayed the news to Ian and David had found Catherine after dinner that night and asked her.

And now, here she was in her dorm, putting her hair up and getting ready to go to a dance with a boy she had no feelings for and wishing that the one she really did want to go with would just look at her again.

* * *

Catherine and Myra made their way down the entrance hall to meet up with their dates. As they walked down the marble staircase, Catherine glanced around and saw James Potter and Lily Evans standing in a corner near the doors to the Great Hall. Catherine's gaze roved over the two of them and saw Remus standing a foot or so away, Mary McDonald standing next to him. The two were smiling and talking quietly. Peter was standing next to Remus, nervously worrying his collar and casting glances at a girl to his right, who Catherine recognized as a fifth year Hufflepuff. She wondered who had gotten the date for him. And then her gaze lit on Sirius. He stood, looking somewhat sullen, on the other side of Mary McDonald, a 7th year girl from Catherine's own house clinging to his arm, Charlotte Halloway. Catherine's mouth dropped open when she saw who Sirius was with. Catherine couldn't even count the number of boys Charlotte had been with. She had the worst reputation in the whole school.

"What are you looking at?" Myra asked, glancing toward where Catherine was staring. "Oh my, Sirius is going to the ball with _her_? Wow that's a step down, even for him."

"What do you mean, even for him?" Catherine snapped.

"Relax," Myra said, holding her hands up in front of her. "I just meant, he dates a lot, but at least most of the girls he dates aren't so, well, you know."

"Sorry," Catherine muttered. Myra looked at her strangely for a minute, then saw Ian and David standing off to the side of the stairs.

"Look, there they are," Myra said, pointing the two boys out. "Come on." She pulled Catherine down the rest of the stairs towards them. Catherine followed and nodded to David as he smiled at her. They stood and talked for a few minutes, before the doors opened and the boys led them inside. The four claimed a table near the middle of the hall and were joined by Elena and Sean and Sharon and her date, Matthew, a Slytherin boy that Catherine didn't know very well. She was a bit surprised at first, but as the four couples talked, realized that he wasn't like most of the others in his house.

Catherine felt eyes on her at one point during dinner and looked up and saw Sirius staring at her. He was sitting about four tables away with the rest of the Marauders and their dates, an unreadable expression on his face. Catherine looked away and back at David who was asking her a question.

Shortly after the pudding disappeared from the tables, Professor Dumbledore stood and asked everyone to get up from their tables and gather in the front of the hall. With a wave of his wand, the tables moved back against the back and sides of the hall, some disappearing all together and where the students stood, a dance floor shimmered into existence. Many people drifted back towards the tables, but some remained on the dance floor as the music began. David looked at Catherine, a question on his face as Ian and Myra began to sway to the music.

"I think I should rest for a little bit longer," Catherine said in response to his unspoken question. "Too much dinner." She made a face and David laughed, leading her to a table off to the side. They sat down and talked for a while before Catherine looked back to the dance floor. She searched through the couples and spotted Sirius and his date. Charlotte was clinging to him just as tightly as she had been in the hall. Sirius looked a bit bored, but then Charlotte leaned up and whispered something in his ear and he smiled.

Catherine felt sick and not from all the food she had just eaten. She wanted nothing more than to curl up in her bed and forget this night had ever happened. She didn't want to hurt the feelings of the boy that sat next to her, who had been nothing but sweet to her. But most of all, she wanted Sirius to come over to her table and sweep her up into his arms, kiss her and tell her he didn't care who knew about them. Knowing she was not going to get any of her wishes, she turned to David and smiled at him, asking if he wanted to dance.

He led her out onto the dance floor and took her in his arms, but Catherine couldn't help comparing them to Sirius' arms. Every time David looked at her, Catherine couldn't help but compare his brown eyes with Sirius' gray and every time he smiled, Catherine kept looking for the dimple that Sirius had in his left cheek. She glanced around from time to time, sometimes getting a glance of Sirius and Charlotte, sometimes unable to see them. After a few dances, David asked her if she wanted something to drink and she agreed, heading back towards their table while David went to the banquet table in the back of the room which held punch and sweets.

Catherine sighed and looked around the room. She saw Myra smiling up at Ian and Elena and Sean once again attached at the lips, as Sharon had said. Sharon seemed to be enjoying herself as well. Catherine saw James and Lily out of the corner of her eye and was surprised to see them dancing so closely together. When she looked past them, she was even more surprised to see Mary's head resting on Remus' shoulder. Peter and his date were nowhere to be seen, about the only thing that didn't surprise Catherine. But as she looked past Remus, she saw Sirius and Charlotte standing against the wall and as she watched, Charlotte leaned in and wrapped her arms around Sirius' neck and kissed him.

Before she could react, David was back at the table. Catherine continued to stare at Sirius and Charlotte and as if he sensed her gaze, Sirius' eyes shifted toward her. Catherine took advantage of the fact that he was watching her, leaned over and kissed David full on the lips. Out of the corner of her eye, Catherine saw Sirius push Charlotte away from him and start towards her. She recovered herself and pulled back from David. Heat immediately flooded to her face.

"I, I'm sorry," she managed to stutter out, then stood from the table and fled. She heard David call after her, but she ignored him, tears running down her face as she ran out of the Great Hall and down the corridor past the kitchens. She ducked into an empty classroom and tried to seal the door, but her concentration failed as the tears began to fall more quickly. Mere seconds later, she heard the door open and she looked up, expecting to see David. Instead, it was Sirius.

Catherine wanted to go to him, she wanted him to take her in his arms and tell her everything was going to be all right. But she held back, wrapping her arms around herself and looking away from him instead. He took a step toward her then stopped and Catherine looked up. Fury was plain on his face, but underneath it was something else, something like pain.

"What the hell are you doing?" he finally asked. She looked up sharply at him, the anger returning as quickly as it had died.

"What am I doing, what are _you_ doing?" she retorted.

"I went to the dance, same as you," he ground out.

"With the biggest slag in the school," Catherine snapped. "At least my date wasn't trying to climb down my throat."

"Didn't stop you from doing it to him though, did it?" he bit back. Catherine gasped at this and turned away from him, clutching her middle as if he had punched her. And then her anger flared again.

"How dare you," she said through gritted teeth, as she spun back around. "How dare you get angry with me for the exact same thing that you did."

"Me?" he said, his voice getting louder. "_She_ kissed _me_! I was trying to get her off of me."

"It really looked like you were resisting when I saw you," Catherine yelled back.

"I don't care what you think you saw," Sirius shouted. "I wasn't kissing her back. I wouldn't do that to you. Seems you don't feel the same." He stopped and turned from her, making for the door.

"Wait, please," Catherine called. Sirius stopped with his hand on the door knob, but he didn't turn around. "I'm sorry." When he didn't move, she began to walk towards him. She stopped a foot away and reached out, then dropped her hand back to her side. "Please," she whispered.

He turned around slowly and looked at her. Tears streamed down her cheeks and the pain in his eyes was nothing Catherine ever wanted to see again.

"Why?" he asked quietly. "Why did you?" He stopped, unable to finish the sentence. Catherine shook her head and took a breath.

"I, I don't know. I was thinking about you the whole night, comparing David to you and wishing you would come and ask me to dance. I was miserable and then I saw Charlotte kissing you and something inside me snapped. I was hurt and I wanted to hurt you back." She looked up at him and he met her gaze for a moment, then looked away. "It was stupid and I shouldn't have and I know," she was unable to finish the rest of her sentence as Sirius stepped forward and grabbed her arms, pressing his lips to hers.

It wasn't like their other kisses had been, it was fierce and hard and almost punishing, with a possessive edge to it. Catherine pushed hard against his chest and he instantly broke off the kiss, stepping away from her. She rubbed her fingers across her lips, her eyes on the floor. She heard him take in a breath and let it out slowly and she glanced up. He looked at her shamefully and turned his head away and she took a small step forward. She reached out to him again and this time, put her hand on his arm. He looked at it and then at her and then pulled her to him. Catherine wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his shoulder, tears returning.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Me too," she replied.

"How did we get into this mess?" he asked and Catherine shrugged.

"Because we're both too stubborn for our own good?" she replied and he snorted.

"I suppose that's true," he agreed.

"I only wanted to go to the ball with David to make Myra happy, but I knew it would make you unhappy and I shouldn't have ignored that," Catherine said.

"And I shouldn't have asked you to choose between me and your best friend," Sirius replied.

"You know that I don't have any feelings for him right?" Catherine asked, looking up at Sirius.

"As long as you know I only went with Charlotte to try and make you jealous," he said.

"Well, that worked," she acknowledged. "But _her_ Sirius, really?" Catherine shuddered and Sirius chuckled.

"I'm sorry I've been such an arse and ignoring you for the past two weeks," he said, putting a hand to her cheek. She leaned into his hand and closed her eyes, feeling the tears gathering behind them again. Sirius looked at her in concern as she opened her eyes and the tears began to leak from them. "What is it?" he asked, holding her face between both hands now.

"It's so hard," she said. "I didn't think it was going to be this hard." He pulled her back against him and kissed the top of her head.

"I know," he said quietly. "I know." They stood in silence for a few moments, his hand rubbing up and down her back.

"It's just, I don't think Myra is going to give up," Catherine finally said. "She's so happy with Ian, she is determined to find me a boyfriend too. If I just told her, then maybe it would be better." She looked up at him expectantly.

"I don't know Catherine," he said. "It's not that I don't trust her, I do. It's just, she's probably going to want to tell Ian and then maybe he'll want to tell David, to explain why you don't want to see him again and then pretty soon too many people know."

"I know," Catherine sighed.

"Merlin, I wish this damn war was over and we didn't have to worry about all of this anymore," Sirius said, kissing her forehead and then her cheek and then her lips, gently and softly. Catherine sighed in contentment as he kissed her, feeling like nothing else mattered as long as everything was all right between them. Her arms moved up and wrapped around his neck as the kiss continued and deepened. So involved were they in each other, that neither heard the door behind them open until they heard a quiet "Oh".

Catherine jumped back as if she had been scalded and Sirius whipped around, his wand already drawn, shielding her with his body. Remus stood in the doorway.

"Moony," Sirius said in surprise, lowering his wand.

"Padfoot, Catherine," Remus replied, nodding to both of them. "I can't say that I'm completely surprised." He smirked at the two and Sirius ran a hand through his hair. "How long has this been going on?" Catherine moved back to Sirius' side and took his hand in hers.

"Since the end of last term," she said and smiled up at Sirius. He let go of her hand and put his arm around her waist, pulling her into his side.

"Any particular reason you're keeping it a secret?" Remus asked.

"Plenty of reasons, particular and otherwise," Sirius returned, tightening his hold on Catherine. "I'll tell you all about them later." Remus nodded. "Why are you here anyway?"

"Prefect patrol," Remus replied. "Making sure no one has snuck away and is up to something they shouldn't be." Catherine saw the amusement in his eyes and she blushed, turning her head towards Sirius' side.

"What happened after we, er, left?" Sirius asked.

"Well, Charlotte moved on to greener pastures, shall we say." Sirius snorted at this and Remus chuckled. "David looked bewildered, but I believe he's gone back to his dorm."

"What about Myra?" Catherine asked, feeling incredibly guilty.

"She and Ian were still there when I left," Remus answered. "I'm not sure exactly what happened. I think that they were going to leave with David, but he convinced them to stay. Wormtail was oblivious, as usual, and Prongs was confused about why you ran out Sirius, but when I told him I'd look for you while I did patrol, he smiled and then went back to snogging Lily."

"Thanks Moony, I really needed that image in my head," Sirius groaned.

"Payback, mate, simple payback," Remus replied, gesturing between he and Catherine.

"So no one was suspicious then?" Sirius asked. "That we ran out at the same time?"

"No one close to either of you, if that's what you mean," Remus said. "I couldn't say about the rest of the school." Sirius just nodded, but Catherine could see the worry lines on his forehead.

"Look Moony, can you pretend you never found us and give me another few minutes," Sirius said. "There are a few things we still need to work out."

"Is that what they're calling it now?" Remus asked, then ducked as Sirius swung at him. Catherine giggled as the two scuffled for a few moments.

"All right," Remus agreed. "I never saw you."

"Thanks Moony," Sirius said. "And don't say anything, not even to Prongs. I promise I'll explain later." Remus nodded and left the room and Sirius turned back to Catherine.

"You're worried," she stated, looking up at him with concern.

"I just hope no one suspects anything, with me running out right after you like that," Sirius said sighing. "I should have waited a few minutes or something."

"I'm glad you didn't," Catherine said quietly and hugged him. He kissed the top of her head and then pulled back and looked down at her.

"Look, if you want to tell Myra, it's all right," Sirius said. "I know that she would never do anything to hurt you and if you trust her, I do too."

"Let's just wait and see," Catherine replied. "Now I believe we had a few more things to work out Mr. Black." She moved back into the circle of his arms.

"I believe you're right Miss Powell," Sirius murmured as he brought his head down to hers once again.

* * *

**July 1993**

Catherine sighed as she pulled herself back to the present. In the end, she hadn't told Myra, although her friend did everything she could to try and get Catherine to admit it. She told Myra that she just didn't feel anything for David in 'that way' and she had been trying to pursuade herself to with the kiss. Myra had just nodded and said nothing else, although Catherine hadn't been completely convinced that Myra didn't realize what was actually going on, especially once she asked Myra to stop trying to set her up with boys.

Life had continued on somewhat normally, Catherine and Sirius still meeting in secret. It was somewhat of a relief to Catherine that Remus now knew, at least there was one other person she didn't have to hide things from. And Remus was immediately accepting of her, almost as if he had known for quite some time that she and Sirius would end up together. Although, if Catherine thought about it, she was sure that he _had_ known, maybe even before Sirius and Catherine themselves had.

She missed Remus almost as much as she missed Sirius and Myra. He had been another confidante for her during her 5th year. A different kind of confidante than Myra to be sure, but she could at least talk about Sirius with him. Catherine wondered where Remus was, if he had married, although she thought that unlikely after their conversation in the library that evening in December. Remus was often in the library studying, something which Catherine joined him in quite often. It was rather helpful to have the perspective of a 7th year on many of her 5th year assignments.

* * *

**2 December 1977**

"I still wonder why you didn't end up in Ravenclaw," Catherine had said to him one evening when they were discussing something from Charms.

"The Hat debated for a while," Remus admitted. "But I guess given my 'alter ego' it decided bravery was rather high on the list as well." Catherine smiled.

"So, I've seen you and Mary together quite often," Catherine remarked, smirking at Remus' unsettled expression.

"We're just friends," he muttered, looking back at the essay he was writing for Transfiguration.

"That sounds familiar," Catherine mused, tapping her quill against her cheek. "Oh right, because I said that for almost all of last year whenever someone brought up Sirius' name." Remus glared at her and continued writing his essay. Catherine shrugged and went back to her own work.

A few seconds later, there was a small thunk and then a low uttered, 'damn' from across the table. She looked up and saw that Remus had spilled his ink which was now seeping across his essay. Catherine righted the ink bottle, now empty, as Remus uttered a spell and waved his wand, siphoning the spilled ink from the parchment. When he was finished, he rummaged in his bag and sighed.

"I guess I'll have to finish in the common room," he said. "That was the last bottle I had with me."

"Don't be ridiculous," Catherine said, pulling another bottle from her bag. "Here, use mine."

"Thanks," Remus said, giving her a small smile. "And sorry about, you know, before."

"Nothing to be sorry for," Catherine replied. "It's none of my business anyway."

"Well, you were right, in any case," he said, his cheeks reddening.

"Really?" Catherine said, smiling widely. "That's wonderful Remus."

"No, really, it's not," he said, looking down at the table.

"But, why not?" Catherine asked, completely bewildered.

"Because I can't get involved with anyone," he insisted, looking up at Catherine incredulously.

"Is there some secret girlfriend or marriage contract or something that I don't know about?" Catherine replied her brow furrowed in confusion.

"Of course not," Remus said, shaking his head. "You know why." Catherine stared at him for a few more moments, then realization dawned.

"We're not talking about your 'furry little problem' here are we?" she asked, but almost certain that they were.

"Of course we are," he said exasperated.

"That's ridiculous," Catherine said snorting. Remus' eyes narrowed.

"I'm glad you're so cavalier about it all," he sniffed. "I, unfortunately, cannot afford to be."

"Remus, that's not what I meant," Catherine replied. "I know that you have to be careful and take precautions, but you do those things. You're only dangerous one night a month. The rest of the time you're fine. As long as you stay away from her on the full moon, I don't see the problem."

"Don't see the problem?" Remus asked, his eyes hard and his voice pitched dangerously low. "You don't see it as an issue that I turn into a monster once a month? You don't see that being a blockade to having a normal relationship? You don't see someone I care about running away screaming when they find out what I am?"

"That's what this is all about isn't it?" Catherine asked, grasping onto his last question. "You're afraid if you tell her, she'll run away screaming and maybe out you to everyone else." Remus said nothing, but Catherine could tell by the slump of his shoulders that she was right.

"Sirius and James and Peter didn't do that once they found out," she pointed out. "Neither did I."

"That's different," he mumbled.

"How so?" Catherine challenged.

"They were my friends and you didn't even know me," Remus replied.

"All the more reason, then," Catherine shot back. "I didn't really know you, I certainly had no feelings towards you at that time, you were only Sirius' friend to me. There was nothing tying me to you, not friendship like you had with Sirius and James and Peter and certainly not affection or love. But yet I accepted you and never treated you any differently, nor did I ever have any desire to tell anyone else about you. Why do you think that someone who actually has feelings for you would reject you?"

"She doesn't have feelings for me," Remus said quietly.

"Trust me Remus, she does," Catherine replied, smiling smugly. "I saw the two of you at the ball and I've seen you together since. The way she looks at you, she fancies you at the very least. And she's a Gryffindor. What makes you think she'll run away screaming? Aren't you lot supposed to be brave and true?" Remus snickered a bit at this and Catherine smiled, then reached a hand out and placed it on his arm. "If you really want to be with her, just give her a chance." Catherine dropped her voice to a whisper and leaned towards him. "Being a werewolf is a part of you, but it's not who you _are_. You're just Remus, with an extra little something thrown in every four weeks." She sat back and smiled at him and Remus returned it, although rather feebly.

"I'll think about it," he said and Catherine nodded, going back to her Charms essay. After a few minutes she looked up again and Remus was looking unseeingly across the library, deep in thought. Catherine smirked and went back to her studying.

* * *

Two weeks later, Catherine and Sirius sat in the study room.

"I've been meaning to ask you what you said to Moony," Sirius said, as Catherine cuddled into his side. "About Mary I mean."

"Why?" she asked, looking up at him in interest.

"Well, he asked her to Hogsmeade this weekend," Sirius replied. "Prongs and I were shocked, but when I asked Moony about it he just smiled and said 'Catherine'. Something going on I should know about?" He looked at her in mock annoyance, one eyebrow raised and she giggled.

"I just told him to give it a chance," Catherine shrugged.

"Translation – you told him to pull his head out of his arse and quit being so down on himself because of his monthly problem," Sirius said.

"Well, not in such eloquent words," Catherine said dryly and Sirius snorted. "But yes, basically that's what I said. So did he tell her?"

"I don't think so," Sirius replied. "Not yet anyway, but if things continue on with them, I know he will. Moony is just like that, hates lying to people."

"And yet, he is forced to keep a huge secret from everyone all the time," Catherine muttered. "Two actually."

"He understands and accepts why he has to though," Sirius replied. "To both." He looked at Catherine pointedly and she glanced away sighing.

"Are you going into Hogsmeade this weekend?" she asked. Sirius shrugged.

"Wormtail is forcing me to," he said. "Whined about being all by himself with James taking Lily and Remus taking Mary. Said I couldn't take anyone and leave him by himself." Sirius imitated Peter's high pitched voice and Catherine laughed.

"I don't understand why you three are friends with him," she said, when she had recovered from her laughter. "He's just so," she waved a hand as if hoping what she wanted to say would appear from thin air, "not you." Sirius looked at her oddly.

"And thank you for that fine explanation," he said wryly. Catherine lightly slapped his arm and rolled her eyes.

"I just mean, he's so whiny and shivery all the time. He follows you and James around like a puppy and I don't think I've ever heard an original thought from him," Catherine continued. "I don't even know how he got sorted into Gryffindor."

"Come on, Pete's not that bad. He's just nervous around girls," Sirius replied. "He has lots of original thoughts when it's just the four of us."

"I don't know, there's just something about him that gives me the creeps," Catherine said shuddering.

"Why are we talking about Wormtail?" Sirius asked shaking his head. "Are you going into Hogsmeade?"

"Yes, Myra is dragging me along with her and Ian," Catherine replied, rolling her eyes. "Sharon's going too though and Elena and Sean are still wrapped around each other most of the time so maybe the two of us can hang out together."

"Or maybe you can ditch all of them and come and find me," Sirius said, waggling his eyebrows at her.

"Oh really," Catherine replied, moving towards him to whisper in his ear. "And just what did you have in mind, Mr. Black?" She grinned as Sirius shuddered, then growled before he kissed her.

"Maybe something like that," he said, grinning at her breathlessness.

"Going to snog me in the middle of the street in Hogsmeade are you?" Catherine asked when she had recovered. "Not sure how that fits into the whole 'secret relationship' thing, but all right." She grinned and Sirius rolled his eyes at her.

"Just meet me behind Honeyduke's at 1:00, all right?" he requested.

"All right," Catherine agreed, then leaned toward him to blow in his ear again. Neither one of them felt like talking for quite some time.

* * *

**A/N2 - I always thought that Sirius would have a jealousy streak a mile wide, so this chapter was fun for me to write, especially since things turned out all right in the end. :)**


	10. Secrets Revealed

**A/N - Hello all! Thanks to my reviewers, I really appreciate your thoughts! Thanks to all who are reading as well. Just know that reviews make me smile all day and who doesn't want a happy author? ;) Enjoy! **

**Chapter 10**

**Secrets Revealed**

**17 December 1977**

Hogsmeade weekend dawned bright and clear, although the few clouds gathering in the distance made Catherine's eyes narrow. Hopefully the snow would hold off until the evening, she wanted to finish her Christmas shopping today and had no desire to do so in a blizzard.

She and Sharon did indeed end up walking into the village together, the two couples hand in hand in front of them.

"So what happened to Matthew?" Catherine asked, as they walked across the grounds. "I thought the two of you really hit it off at the ball."

"We did," Sharon agreed. "But, I guess it was just too hard for him, with his housemates and all."

"What do you mean?" Catherine asked in puzzlement.

"The other boys in his year are very pro You-Know-Who," Sharon replied, shuddering a bit. "Not to mention the 6th and 7th years. Matthew's a pureblood and I'm only half, so," she shrugged.

"That's horrible," Catherine said, anger flashing in her eyes.

"I know," Sharon agreed, mouth turning down into a frown. "There aren't that many truly purebloods left, even Matthew can only go back four generations or so, and if they keep marrying each other," she grimaced in revulsion. "And Matthew agrees with me. But he broke things off just to try and keep the peace in his dorm. 'I didn't get sorted into Gryffindor for a reason' he told me." She gave Catherine a half-hearted grin and Catherine put her arm around the other girl's shoulders.

"I'm sorry," Catherine said.

"Thanks," Sharon replied. "Elena said that's what I get for trying to date a Slytherin."

"I wish people wouldn't say things like that," Catherine said. "I mean they're not all bad. Even Matthew isn't bad. A chicken yes, but not bad. Sometimes I think that the rest of us force the Slytherins to act the way that they do." Sharon gaped at her in surprise.

"Okay, not _all_ of them," Catherine agreed, grinning. "But some of them, surely."

"Maybe you're right," Sharon said. "In any case, I don't think I'll be fancying anyone from Slytherin again, any time soon." Catherine chuckled and linked arms with her friend as they made their way down the main street in Hogsmeade.

* * *

After lunch at the Three Broomsticks, the four Ravenclaw girls split up. Sharon headed back up to the school and Elena and Myra went off with their respective boyfriends. Catherine begged off from joining any of them by saying she had a bit more shopping to finish and then made her way towards Honeydukes. She looked around before sneaking quickly toward the back of the building and checked to see if Sirius had arrived. Seeing no one, she leaned against the building and glanced at her watch. It was five minutes after one, she had actually been worried about being late, so she was surprised not to see Sirius waiting for her. She shrugged her shoulders thinking he must have gotten held up somewhere with Peter.

Her mind began to wander as she fingered the packages she had shrunk and put into her pocket after buying them. She just needed to pick up some chocolate for Remus from Honeydukes and her Christmas shopping would be finished.

Even as she was finishing this thought, she felt breath on her cheek and whirled, pulling her wand from her pocket as she did so. She was greeted with nothing. No one stood to the side of her and a quick peek around the corner of the building did not show anyone retreating either. Perplexed, Catherine frowned and moved back around the corner. Had it been the wind? But no, it was definitely warm and the wind wasn't blowing in any case. She shivered and had decided to go back out to the street and wait for Sirius there, when she heard a voice behind her.

"Been waiting long?" Sirius asked, as she whirled around again to see no one there.

"Sirius?" she said, wondering if she was hearing things now. There was a low chuckle and Catherine thought she saw a slight ripple in the snow bank across from her. She heard a muttered incantation and then Sirius appeared before her eyes. Catherine gasped and Sirius chuckled again, coming towards her and kissing her on the cheek.

"Was that you?" Catherine asked. "That breathed on me before, was that you?"

"Guilty," Sirius replied, holding up his hand, palm facing her.

"You scared me half to death," she growled, punching him in the arm. "What was that?"

"Disillusionment charm," Sirius replied, rubbing his arm where she had punched him. "Damn it woman, why do you always have to do that?"

"Because you're always doing things to annoy me," she retorted. "Disillusionment charm?"

"Yes, we just learned them this week," he replied.

"Can you put it on other people?" she asked, brow quirking in thought.

"Probably, why?" he asked.

"Well, I was just thinking you could disillusion both of us and then we could walk around Hogsmeade together." She grinned happily and he put his arms around her and kissed her.

"Can't talk around other people though," he said. "And we can't buy anything."

"I know," Catherine replied. "But at least we could pretend that we're just a normal couple for one afternoon." Sirius tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and smiled sadly at her.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"I know you are Sirius, you don't have to keep saying it," Catherine insisted.

"I just wish this damn war was over," he continued.

"I know that too," she replied. "But it's not and next year you won't be here so it won't be so hard to pretend. Although then it will be hard for a different reason." He nodded and kissed her forehead. "But I want you to know something." He looked down at her and she took a deep breath. "Once I'm out of school, if the war isn't over yet, I'm not going to pretend anymore. I'll be fully trained and of age and there won't be any reason to keep this from anyone. I'll be able to protect myself." She looked at him stubbornly and unflinchingly until he sighed.

"Fine," he said. "But not until you're out of school, especially since I won't be here to," he trailed off as she glared at him.

"If you know what's good for you Sirius Black, you won't finish that sentence," Catherine said her voice deadly quiet. "I don't need you to protect me." He gulped visibly.

"I was going to say, I won't be here to kiss you," he said in mock offense. She rolled her eyes and his expression turned solemn. "I do mean it though, Catherine, not until you graduate." He stared at her, almost daring him to contradict him.

"Fine," she said. "But the day I graduate, I might just take out a full-page ad in the Daily Prophet telling everyone that I love you." He laughed his bark-like laugh that Catherine loved so much and she grinned and kissed him. "Now about that charm." Sirius smiled and tapped the top of her head with his wand, then did the same to his own. If Catherine hadn't been holding his hand, she would have never known he was there.

"Hmm, this might make kissing you awfully hard," Sirius said and Catherine could just imagine his cheeky expression. "But I guess I can fumble around."

"Very funny, Mr. Black," Catherine replied as she pushed his hand away from a certain part of her anatomy that was definitely lower than her face. "Now, I believe you agreed to escort me around the village."

"Certainly my lady," he said and Catherine saw another ripple in the snow behind him and assumed he was bowing. "Right this way please." She giggled and he tugged on her hand, then wrapped his arm around her waist and they walked around the building. Catherine sighed in contentment as they began to stroll down the street, her head on Sirius' shoulder. She knew that no one could see them, but she pretended that the smiles she saw were being bestowed directly on the two of them, in acceptance and approval. Somehow, the rest didn't really matter right then.

* * *

**July 1993**

'Too bad I never actually graduated and couldn't follow through on my promise', Catherine thought to herself as she looked out into the garden from the kitchen window. 'I should have said once I was of age. Although that wouldn't have made any difference either, I guess.' She sighed and crossed her arms in front of her, turning to glance at the clock on the wall.

"Time to start thinking about dinner," Catherine said aloud as she went to the refrigerator to pull out ingredients for the meal. As she sliced and chopped, her mind wandered again, but she stopped it knowing that the next few things she would remember were definitely not ones to end the day on. Not with the children arriving home soon, at any rate. Those were better left for the night when there was no one there to see her cry.

"Although there was one more completely happy one," Catherine said to the onions she was chopping. "Two actually."

* * *

**January 1978**

Christmas had come and gone and Catherine was back in King's Cross making her way down the platform to the train. She was looking for Sirius the entire time, not having seen him since they left school for the holidays. She had wanted him to come and meet her parents, but once she arrived home, had changed her mind.

Her mother had been keeping in contact with Myra's mother and the two had become fast friends. The MacKenzie's had invited the Powell's to spend New Year's Eve with them and Catherine's mother was even talking about possibly hooking their house up to the Floo Network, permanently, so the two women could visit more easily. Catherine realized that introducing her boyfriend to her parents would be big news, news that her mother would almost certainly share with Mrs. MacKenzie, news which would then almost certainly be passed on to Myra. And Catherine could come up with no legitimate reason to convince her parents to keep Sirius a secret without discussing quite a few things she had no intention of discussing with them.

As she boarded the train and stowed her trunk, she pulled Sirius' gift from her pocket. The two had not exchanged gifts before they left school, thinking they would see each other at least once during the holidays. Catherine hadn't even had her walks as an excuse to meet with Sirius as the rest of the break after Christmas had been blustery, frigid and snowy. No one in their right mind would have contemplated taking a walk in it. Catherine hadn't even had the heart to send Galena out in the storms very often, only doing so twice. Sirius was less cautious with his own owl, although the third time he sent Leo out, the bird had refused to leave with Catherine's reply for almost two days, instead sharing Galena's perch and riding out the storm. When Catherine had sent back her letter, she told Sirius to keep the owl at home and give the poor thing a break. So she hadn't heard from him in over a week.

When she saw him on the platform, her heart began to beat faster in her chest. He was scanning the windows as he walked by and Catherine waved frantically to him until he spotted her. Turning to James, who was holding hands with Lily, Sirius said something. James nodded and then Sirius climbed the steps into her car, pulling his trunk behind him.

He burst into her compartment and dropped his trunk on the floor. She jumped up from the seat and threw her arms around his neck as he began to kiss her. She pulled away after only a few seconds, breathless already.

"Sirius, what if someone sees," she said, as he pulled her back toward him. He pulled his wand from his pocket and tapped her and then himself on the head, but never spoke the incantation. As she felt the dripping sensation of the Disillusionment charm, she saw Sirius disappear in front of her and then he was kissing her again. One hand slid up her back and fisted in her hair as the other tightened around her waist and pulled her impossibly closer to him than she had already been. His lips moved from hers to her neck and he nuzzled her jaw with his nose. She squeaked when he found the spot behind her ear again and then pulled his mouth back down to hers. They finally broke apart, both gasping for breath, even as he continued to pepper small kisses on her cheeks and her forehead and her jaw.

"You can do that nonverbally now?" she asked, moaning when his lips found the hollow of her throat.

"What?" he asked, between kisses.

"The Disillusionment charm," she gasped again.

"Mm, guess so," he said. "No more talking." The kissing continued and they found their way back to the seat in the compartment. Things had become more heated, the kisses more fevered and Catherine soon found herself reclining back against the wall of the compartment, Sirius hovering over her. She shook herself mentally. They were on the train, for Merlin's sake, everyone was still boarding and if anyone looked into the compartment and seemingly saw no one inside, there was nothing stopping them from coming in.

"Sirius, stop," Catherine said, pushing lightly on his chest. He groaned and dropped his forehead to hers, but pulled back all the same and sat up. He kept hold of her hand so she would know where he was.

"What?" he said, pulling her up to sit next to him.

"You have to make me visible again and you need to go," she said. "What if someone had come in?" He sighed and she could tell he was running a hand down his face.

"You're right, I'm sorry," he said. "I just missed you so damn much." He had found her face and cupped her cheek.

"I know, me too," she replied, kissing his palm. She felt him shudder. "Tonight, after the feast."

"All right," he said and leaned forward to kiss her one more time. Then he tapped the top of her head and she could see herself again.

"You'd better stay invisible until you can get to another car," Catherine said before he could cancel the charm on himself. "Can you do it to your trunk too?"

"Yes," he said turning and picking up one end of the trunk and then it too, became invisible. "I love you."

"I love you too," she replied, smiling and then she jumped up. "Wait," she said.

"What?" he asked.

"Let me open the door. There are too many people for no one to notice if a door opened mysteriously on its own." She walked toward the compartment door and almost tripped over his trunk. Sirius, having the advantage of actually being able to see her, grabbed her arm and pulled her back upright. She grinned sheepishly at him, then pulled open the door to the compartment, walking out into the corridor and keeping it open until she heard a whispered, 'out'. Letting the door go, she glanced up and down the corridor as if looking for someone, then shrugged and walked back into her compartment.

A few minutes later, the whistle of the train blew and the door was pulled open again, a red-faced Myra standing in the doorway.

"What happened to you?" Catherine asked taking in her friend's disheveled appearance.

"Almost…missed… train," Myra panted, flopping down into the seat across from Catherine. "Had…to run…through whole…station." She closed her eyes and collapsed on her side on the seat. Catherine covered her mouth to try and stifle her laugh, but was unsuccessful. Myra opened one eye and glared at her friend before closing it and giving in to gulping breaths once more. Once she had finally recovered, she sat back up and looked at Catherine.

"So, how was the rest of your holiday?" she asked.

"Uneventful," Catherine shrugged.

"Mine too," Myra agreed. "Do you mind if I go find Ian? I told him I'd look for him this time."

"No, go ahead," Catherine replied, smiling at her friend. "I don't understand why you just don't ask him to sit with us."

"Well, there is David," Myra said, looking away from Catherine.

"Oh right, I forgot," Catherine said, her cheeks reddening. "I don't mind if he comes along though, if he doesn't."

"Are you sure?" she asked, tipping her head to the side and looking quizzically at her friend.

"There's no reason why we can't be friendly with each other," Catherine continued. "I would understand if he feels weird about it though."

"Actually I think he would be okay with it. He's been talking a lot with Sharon over break, Ian told me," Myra replied.

"Really? That's great, for both of them," Catherine gave Myra a genuine smile.

"Okay then, I'll go and see if they want to join us. Maybe Sharon will come too," Myra said, getting up and walking out of the compartment. Catherine leaned her head back against the seat and closed her eyes, smile lighting her face as she thought about her moments with Sirius earlier. She was very much looking forward to after the feast.

* * *

Myra returned sometime later, alone.

"Didn't they want to come?" Catherine asked, surprised that at least Ian wasn't with her.

"Oh they're coming," Myra said. "They're just finishing their game of exploding snap." Catherine nodded and pulled a novel from her bag that her mother had gotten her for Christmas.

"When did you get here?" Myra asked, contemplative expression on her face. "On the train I mean?"

"I don't know about twenty minutes before we left," Catherine replied. "Why?"

"And were you in this compartment the whole time?" Myra continued, ignoring Catherine's question.

"Yes. Myra what is this all about?" Catherine asked, her brow furrowing deeper with each question.

"Oh, just something I heard while I was talking to Sharon," Myra said, innocent expression on her face. Catherine forced herself to stay still and met Myra's gaze.

"And what did Sharon have to say?" Catherine asked, trying to mimic Myra's innocent expression.

"Just that when she was on the platform, she looked up at the train into this very compartment and saw someone who looked very much like Sirius Black snogging someone who looked very much like you. From the back of course, but I don't think there's anyone else, in the upper years anyway, with hair quite as curly as yours. And then, this is the strange part, the two of them just vanished," Myra finished, a penetrating stare on her face. "Would you happen to know anything about that?"

"Nope, not a thing," Catherine replied, her heart beating rapidly, her mouth dry. Myra studied her for a few minutes and Catherine somehow managed to smile.

"Catherine Powell that is the biggest lie I've ever heard!" Myra exclaimed. "I know it was you."

"Oh? And just how do you know that?" Catherine inquired, astonished at her ability to continue to speak normally when her heart had now migrated into her throat.

"Because I've known you for almost five years and you're my best friend and I know when you're lying," Myra retorted, crossing her arms in front of her. "And it would explain quite a few things, especially why Sirius Black ran out of the Halloween ball right after you did." Catherine stared at her friend, trying to decide what exactly to tell her. Finally she sighed and put her head in her hands.

"Fine, you're right," she said between her fingers.

"I knew it!" Myra said in glee, large grin on her face. "How long?"

"Since last June," Catherine replied, putting her hands in her lap and looking up at Myra. Myra sat gaping at her, her mouth hanging open in shock.

"Last June?" Myra repeated. "You've been dating Sirius Black since last June?"

"Yes," Catherine said, smirk on her face. "Why what did you think?"

"Since the ball maybe," Myra said, still looking shocked. "Wait a minute, then when we were in Diagon Alley?" Catherine nodded, giggling a little. "Did you sneak off and meet him?"

"Yes, after you and your mother left," Catherine confirmed. "I never really needed ink."

"Why have you been keeping it a secret?" Myra asked, suddenly confused again. Catherine sighed.

"It's a long story, one that I will tell you, but for now, I'll just say that purebloods do not take kindly to other purebloods dating mudbloods," Catherine said.

"Don't call yourself that," Myra admonished. "Besides, I'm a pureblood and I don't care."

"Well, most purebloods don't feel the same, unfortunately, especially those that can claim pure blood back hundreds of years," Catherine said.

"Like the Blacks," Myra said, understanding.

"Yes, like the Blacks, along with some others," Catherine agreed. "It's actually down to Sirius. He's scared there would be some kind of reprisals and they would be against me because his blood is too valuable to be spilled. So he insists on the secrecy."

"But all the stories about him, all the girls he's supposedly with," Myra said, trailing off and looking at Catherine.

"Just stories," Catherine assured her. "Many perpetuated by him just to keep appearances up, some spread by girls who _wish_ he was pursuing them. Still, it all just helps us in the end."

"So what happened this morning?" Myra asked.

"That was the result of not seeing each other for three weeks and not thinking enough before we let our, um, feelings get the best of us." Catherine colored and Myra snickered. "The disappearing was Sirius casting a Disillusionment charm on both of us. I'll be surprised if Sharon was the only one that saw us." Catherine began to worry her lip between her teeth.

"So no one else knows?" Myra asked.

"Remus does," Catherine admitted. "But only because he walked in on us after we ran out of the ball." Catherine suddenly thought of something. "Myra you can't tell anyone about us, not even your mum. And we have to convince Sharon that she didn't see what she thought she saw. Did she tell you this story in front of everyone?" Catherine began to panic again.

"Relax, no, she told me in the corridor," Myra said. "Mostly because she thought she was seeing things, especially with the two of you disappearing like that."

"Good, then it will be easier to convince her that she imagined it," Catherine said, heart rate slowing down once again.

"Catherine, are you sure," Myra began, but Catherine interrupted her.

"Myra, I promised Sirius, I promised him I would keep it a secret until I graduated," Catherine insisted. "He's so worried for me, scared that something terrible will happen if anyone knows. If he thinks that other people suspect, he'll break it off 'for my own good'. I can't lose him Myra, I won't!" Catherine's voice had risen throughout her rant and she was now near shouting, her heart pounding again.

"Okay, okay, calm down," Myra said, putting a hand to her friend's arm. When Catherine drew in a shuddering breath, Myra moved to the opposite seat and pulled Catherine into a hug. "We'll figure it out, everything will be all right," she murmured rubbing Catherine's back as Catherine calmed herself. "You really care about him, don't you?" she asked as the two pulled apart.

"I love him," Catherine said simply and Myra gasped.

"You l-love him?" Myra stuttered out and Catherine nodded, shy smile gracing her face.

"Yes, since the beginning really," Catherine admitted. "I can't explain it, it just, is." Myra nodded.

"Then I guess we need to figure out how we're going to convince Sharon she's gone round the twist," Myra said, grinning widely. Catherine laughed and hugged her friend again and the two began whispering as they waited for the others to arrive.

* * *

Later that evening, Catherine stood in the study room, waiting for Sirius. She smiled at the conversation she and Myra had had with Sharon once the group had joined them in their compartment. A few well-placed questions and suggestions had convinced Sharon that she had indeed been seeing things, or at least not seeing what she thought she did.

"Now if only no one else saw us," she said aloud.

"No one else saw us what?" a voice behind her asked and she gasped and turned around.

"Hello, love," Sirius said, smirking as she flew across the room into his arms. He kissed her and then led her to the couch. "So what were you saying when I came in?" Catherine sighed and told Sirius the story. When she was finished, he was frowning, but deep in thought as well.

"Well, what are we going to do?" Catherine asked, nudging him when he didn't respond right away.

"I'm not sure," he said, rubbing a hand down his face. "Merlin, I'm so stupid." He got up from the couch and began to pace.

"Sirius, it wasn't just you," Catherine said. "We both were a bit, overzealous." Sirius looked at her out of the corner of his eye and then glanced away as he continued to pace. Catherine frowned at his expression. "What are you thinking?" Sirius stopped but didn't look at her.

"Maybe it would be better if we," but before he could finish Catherine had jumped off the couch and put her arms around his neck.

"No, it wouldn't be better," she insisted. "It would be horrible for both of us." She hugged him tightly and let out a sigh of relief when his arms came around her waist and he hugged her back. The two stood in silence for a few moments before Catherine pulled back from him slightly. "I don't care if anyone saw, I don't care if the whole school saw."

"Catherine," he said, warning in his voice.

"I mean it Sirius, it doesn't matter," she returned.

"It does matter, your safety is the only thing that matters," he said firmly.

"The only thing?" she asked, a frown forming on her face.

"Of course not, you know what I mean," Sirius insisted.

"So we're back to the original question then. What are we going to do?" Catherine said. "And if you say anything about breaking it off, I will punch you." She glared at him and Sirius grimaced.

"Well, I suppose there's really nothing we _can_ do," he said finally. "Not right now, at any rate. We'll just have to be extra careful and wait, see if we hear anything." He kissed her temple and she snuggled closer to him. "So, Myra knows." He led them back to the couch and sat down with an arm around her and Catherine laid her head on his shoulder.

"Yes," Catherine said. "You're not upset are you?" She looked up at him and he planted a soft kiss on her lips.

"No, I told you it was all right to tell her," he said.

"I wasn't going to," Catherine said. "But she basically guessed and with the issue with Sharon I knew I'd need an ally."

"Of course," Sirius agreed, playing with her hair. "Cat, I told you, if you trust her, I do too. Remus knows after all. It's only fair one of your friends knows as well." Catherine nodded absent-mindedly, enjoying the feeling of his fingers running through her hair and then looked up at him again.

"Wait. Cat? Where did that come from?" she asked. He shrugged.

"Just thought of it one day," he said. "It's less of a mouthful than Catherine. I won't use it if you don't like it."

"No, I like it," she said smiling. "I like 'love' even better."

"Hmm, I can't say that I disagree with that," he replied and then bent down and captured her lips once more.

* * *

As the term rolled along, Catherine found herself being buried with more and more work. It seemed that the teachers had realized that O.W.L.s were only a few months away and were trying to cram as much information into their students as possible. Sirius was similarly affected, except with N.E.W.T.s in his case, and the two were often together in Catherine's study room. Sirius often had to be convinced to actually study, although he seemed to enjoy helping Catherine more than studying for his own classes. Of course, he also preferred to interrupt their studying with other activities and while Catherine would feign irritation, she never tried too hard to stop him.

Having Myra know what was going on helped Catherine immensely. She had often felt guilty for lying to her friend. And Myra and Remus, as well, were two more sets of ears to pay attention to any gossip going around about Sirius or Catherine. So far, none of them had heard anything and Sharon had only told Elena of her apparent misconception of what she had seen on the train. The four girls had a good laugh about it one night in the dormitory and it was never mentioned again.


	11. Stars

**A/N - Hello all! Thanks for the reveiws last chapter, I have been smiling all week! I hope everyone else who is reading is enjoying the story as well. Title for this chapter is the song by Grace Potter (appropriate, don't you think?) & the Nocturnals and I adore it. I think it fits rather well with this chapter as well as how Catherine feels about Sirius now. See you all on Tuesday! **

**Chapter 11**

**Stars**

**3 February 1978**

January melted into February and soon it was Catherine's 16th birthday. She met Sirius after dinner in their room, as per usual, however when Sirius came in, he took the book from her hands, stowed it back in her bag and cleared away the rest of her things from the desk.

"Sirius, what are you doing?" Catherine protested. "I have to study."

"Not tonight you don't," Sirius replied, towing her over to the couch with him. "It's your birthday and we're going to celebrate."

"Sirius, I really," she began, but he cut her off by putting a finger to her lips.

"One night off isn't going to kill you," he insisted.

"Fine," she retorted, sighing and crossing her arms in front of her as she sank back into the couch.

"Besides, I've got a few surprises planned," he said grinning.

"I feel like I should be worried," Catherine said hesitantly.

"Come on love," Sirius replied, looking highly affronted. "Do you really think so little of me, that I would prank my own girlfriend?"

"Honestly, Sirius, I'm really not sure you wouldn't," she said dryly and he gaped at her until she began to giggle.

"Fine then," he said, adopting a wounded puppy face and crossing his own arms in a huff. "We'll just sit here and study instead." Catherine rolled her eyes at his reaction and then slid closer to him on the couch.

"Oh, did I hurt my little Padfoot's feelings?" she asked in a pouty voice, sticking out her lower lip and fluttering her eye lashes. Sirius narrowed his eyes at her and growled. She stifled another giggle, then put a hand on his arm. "If I promise to be nice will you give me my surprise?" Sirius huffed again and looked away from her.

"You're just teasing me still, so no," he said, annoyance in his voice.

"Can't handle a little teasing then, can you?" Catherine asked, as she climbed into his lap. He remained still with his arms crossed and didn't look at her. She put her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. "What was it you told me that time on the train?" She tapped her lips with one finger and saw him look at her out of the corner of his eye. Snuggling closer to him, she kissed his neck and then his jaw, running her nose up his jaw line until she reached his ear. She felt him shudder, ever so slightly and she grinned before nipping his ear lobe. He shuddered again as she whispered into his ear. "Oh now I remember, if you can't run with the big dogs, stay on the porch." And then she lightly blew into his ear.

Sirius growled and grabbed her around the waist, twisting them around and pouncing on her. Catherine laughed aloud as he hovered over her, a scowl still on his face.

"You're still making fun of me," he said, huffing in exasperation as she continued to laugh.

"Only a little," she replied, still grinning. "Can't take a bit of your own medicine?" He glared at her for a moment, then smiled wickedly and lowered his head. He kissed her cheek and then her neck, following the same path she had up her jawline. Catherine braced herself, determined not to react. But then he stopped at her ear and kissed her behind it. Unable to help herself, she sucked in a shuddering breath and he lifted his head back up, grinning at her.

"You were saying," he said cheekily. She sighed in exasperation and glowered at him. He laughed and sat up, taking her hand and pulling her up with him. He kissed her soundly on the mouth and then pulled back. "Now about those surprises. Daisy!" he called.

There was a crack and then the house elf was standing before them, holding a large picnic basket. The basket was almost as big as she was and Sirius jumped up and took it from her before the elf toppled over.

"Will Sir or Miss be needing anything else?" Daisy asked.

"No, this should do it. Thank you Daisy," Sirius said and then elf nodded. She smiled and bowed to Catherine and with a snap of her fingers and another crack, she was gone. Sirius stood from the couch and set the basket down on the floor. He held out a hand to Catherine.

"Come on," he said. "We have to go somewhere else for the rest of your surprise." Catherine stood and Sirius pulled a piece of cloth out of his pocket. He tapped it with his wand and it grew into a full-sized, fur lined cloak. He placed it around Catherine's shoulders and fastened the clasp.

"Just one of your birthday presents," he said and Catherine looked down at herself, pulling the cloak tighter around her.

"Sirius, it's gorgeous," she breathed, noticing how warm and soft it felt against her skin. "This must have cost a fortune." She frowned at him knowing that he had been cut off from his family's money when his mother disowned him. He could no longer access the Black family vault and Catherine worried her lip wondering just where he had come up with the funds for her gift. She knew the Potter's had always offered to help Sirius if he needed it, but he refused anything financial out of stubborn pride.

"You're worth it," he said, kissing her lightly on the nose. "Besides, you've forgotten about my recent inheritance." He smiled at her and she shook her head, knowing that even though his uncle had left him a large chunk of money, he should still be careful with it.

"Sirius," she protested, but he forestalled her by kissing her again, this time on the lips.

"Now, let's get to the rest of your present. You'll be happy you have the cloak, trust me," he said as he bent and picked up the picnic basket. "Time to be invisible," he said, tapping Catherine and then himself on the head and muttering the disillusionment charm. He found her hand and led her from the room. They made their way silently through the castle, narrowly avoiding being run over by a boisterous group of Gryffindor second years on one of the staircases and made their way up to the Astronomy tower.

Sirius opened the door and they walked outside, Catherine instantly aware why Sirius said she would be happy for the cloak. The winter air was chilly, although calm, and Catherine instinctively drew the cloak tighter around herself, letting go of Sirius' hand and putting her hands into her pockets. When she did so, she found soft leather gloves there, lined with the same fur as the cloak. She pulled them out and slipped them on, scowling at Sirius, although she knew he still couldn't see her.

As if he had read her mind, after he had locked and sealed the door to the tower, he tapped her on top of the head with his wand and then himself and they were both visible again. Sirius set the picnic basket down and opened it, pulling out a blanket which he spread on the tower floor. He then pulled another piece of fabric from his pocket, which, when restored to its original size, turned out to be Sirius' own cloak. He put it on, then sat down on the blanket, patting the spot next to him for Catherine. As she sat, Sirius pulled a thermos from the basket, along with two mugs and a small container of biscuits. He poured hot cocoa from the thermos into one mug and handed it to Catherine, then did the same with his own, taking a biscuit and dunking it into his mug. Catherine took a sip of her own chocolate, declining a biscuit for the moment and wrapped her cloak a bit tighter around herself.

"Why are we up here exactly?" she asked.

"This is part of your present," Sirius replied. "Atmosphere," he swept a hand across the sky as if presenting it to her. Catherine looked up and had to admit that the stars were rather bright and the sky was perfectly clear. Still, it was awfully cold, she thought as she took another drink of her cocoa.

Sirius reached out an arm to her and she scooted herself into his side. He wrapped his arm around her waist and setting down his mug, cast a warming charm upon them. Catherine smiled as the warmth swept over them and sighed in contentment as Sirius rested his check on the top of her head.

"It is beautiful," she said, looking up at the night sky and picking out the constellations she recognized from Astronomy class.

"The one thing my father taught me that was worth something," Sirius said. "I could probably have taken my Astronomy N.E.W.T. on the first day of first year and passed it. The Blacks have always been expert astronomers, as if you couldn't tell by what they name all their children." He rolled his eyes and shook his head. Catherine chuckled and sipped her drink.

"When Regulus and I were little, my father used to take us up to the observatory and tell us the stories of the planets and the stars, especially the ones we were named for. Regulus wasn't all that interested and stopped coming with us when he was about 8. The sky and the stories always fascinated me though. I like to come out here sometimes and just look and remember." He gazed up at the sky, a bit of longing in his eyes Catherine noticed. She knew that no matter what he said that it had hurt him deeply when his mother had disowned him. No matter how horrible they were, they were still his parents and she knew that he must have loved them at one time, that probably, in some way, he still did. He pulled Catherine tighter against his side and she kissed his cheek and laid her head on his shoulder.

"Someday, you can pass all of those stories along to your own children," she said quietly.

"Me? A dad?" he snorted. "Not bloody likely." She sat up and looked at him in confusion.

"Don't you want to have children someday?" she asked.

"We're talking about me here, Cat," he said, looking at her with a grin she knew was forced. "Irresponsible, impulsive, prankster extraordinaire? Not to mention the fact that my role models were, quite frankly, horrible. No, I couldn't saddle a kid with that kind of legacy." He shook his head and looked wistfully off into the distance.

"Sirius," she said, putting a hand to his arm. "You're not your father or your mother. The simple fact that you were sorted into Gryffindor should have told you that. And just because they were terrible role models doesn't mean that you have to follow in their footsteps. Besides, you've been living with the Potters for the last two years. Surely you've seen what good parents should be like." He shrugged and she moved to kneel in front of him, taking his hands in hers and staring at him until he met her gaze. "I don't know if children are in your future or not, but don't make a decision about that based on what your own parents did. You are not them. You never could be." He stared at her for a moment, bringing a hand up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear.

"What about you?" he asked softly. "Are you part of my future?" Her breath caught in her throat and she swallowed it down forcefully.

"I don't know," she responded, just as softly. "Are you asking me to be?" She held very still, searching his face with her eyes, trying to read him in the darkness. His face, lit only by the light of the rising moon, was in shadow and she was unable to tell from his expression what he was thinking. After what seemed like an endless amount of time, he leaned forward and kissed her softly.

"Perhaps," he said, holding her gaze once more. "This hypothetical future we're speaking of, would children be a requirement in it?"

"I can't say for sure, but I think that they might be," she replied, her expression unwavering and her eyes still locked with his. He nodded finally and looked away, then pulled her onto his lap, tucking her head under his chin. She let out a shaky breath, wondering just how things had gotten so intense so quickly. The thought of marriage and children hadn't entered her mind in more than an abstract way of "someday" and she had not really even pictured herself with anyone specific. Thinking about it now though, she felt as if she and Sirius had turned some hitherto unknown corner and were possibly heading down a path that might very well lead to that abstract notion of "someday". The thought of it didn't scare her as much as she thought it might, given the fact that she had just turned 16. It seemed to have driven Sirius into deep contemplation however, and if the frown on his face was anything to go by, she wasn't sure that he was enjoying the thoughts going through his mind. Catherine cursed herself in her head. Why had she brought up the thing about children in the first place? She should have known it would be a hard subject for Sirius. Not wanting to ruin the rest of the celebration he had planned, she sat up and kissed him lightly on the lips.

"Weren't you saying something about another present?" she asked, grinning at him. He shook himself out of his reverie and smiled at her.

"Hm, greedy tonight are we?" he asked and she shrugged her shoulders, smile still upon her face. He chuckled and reached into his pocket, pulling out a small box. Catherine bit her cheek to keep from gasping aloud. Surely this wasn't what she thought it was.

"Open it," he said, handing it to her and she looked up at him for a moment, then did as he had asked. Nestled inside the box was not a ring as Catherine had initially feared. Regardless of her previous thoughts, she was not sure that she was _quite_ ready for that. Instead, it was a small gold locket with intricate etchings across the front. It hung from a thin gold chain, the metal soft as satin as Catherine passed it over her fingers. She popped the tiny clasp on the locket and opened it. Two pictures were framed inside, one of Sirius and the other of her. They were so small however, Catherine had a hard time seeing them at all.

"Here," he said, taking the locket from her hand. "Let me show you." He pulled out his wand and tapped the locket with it, saying 'animatum'. A light came from the two small photographs and in an instant Catherine saw a few inches high image of herself and one of Sirius standing in front of her. It was rather like a movie projector she thought, as the Sirius image grabbed the Catherine image around the waist and kissed her. The Catherine image laughed as she pulled away and the Sirius image waltzed her around for a few steps before hugging her and then the whole scene repeated itself once again. After the images had completed their motions three times, Sirius muttered 'finite' and they disappeared back into the locket. He looked up at Catherine and smiled as she flung her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly.

"I love it," she said in his ear and he kissed her temple.

"This way, you'll always have a piece of me with you," he said. "Even when we're apart."

"I already do have a piece of me with you," she said, pulling back from him. "Here," she said as she laid his hand over her heart and covered his hand with hers. "But now I can see you whenever I want to." He pulled her back onto his lap and kissed her very thoroughly. When she pulled back, breathless, he grinned at her.

"I love you," he said.

"And I you," she replied, as she kissed him again. For quite some time, the astronomy tower was silent, the stars twinkling down from their vantage point above, as if smiling on the two people entwined below.

**July 1993**

Catherine drew in a gasping, shuddering breath as she came back to the present, her hand drifting unconsciously up to her neck to finger the gold chain that was no longer there. She exhaled loudly, closing her eyes and leaning over the counter where she had been cutting up vegetables for dinner. Despite her efforts to contain them, a few tears escaped from the corners of her eyes as she stood there drawing in deep breath after deep breath, willing herself to calm down. Perhaps she should have stopped in her remembrances before this particular memory. For as much as this one hurt, in a bittersweet way, what came next made this pale in comparison.

Taking in one more deep breath, Catherine forced her thoughts away from her past and tried to concentrate on the dinner she was making. She went over the recipe in her mind, one that she had made so many times she could do it from memory. No matter how she tried to clutter her mind with mundane thoughts of dinner and errands and what projects she still needed to finish for work, she could not seem to stop thinking about the locket. Dinner finally finished and put into the oven, Catherine made her way upstairs to her bedroom. She opened her wardrobe and pulled up a stool to reach the top shelf. In the back, behind a stack of jumpers, was a small box.

Catherine took it down and sat on the bed, holding the box on her lap. She wasn't sure this was such a good idea. Her mother and the children would be home any minute. Finally, she opened the box and took out a photograph that was lying inside. In it, she and Sirius were smiling, arms around each other's waists, Catherine's head lying on his shoulder. It was a muggle photograph, one she had taken with her own camera. She ran a finger down the side of Sirius' face and felt an ache open up inside her.

She set the photo down and pulled a ticket stub from the box from the first and only movie she had taken Sirius to. She remembered his face as he sat enthralled in the darkness, watching the people moving on the screen. He kept turning round in the theater, looking up to the small window where the movie was projecting from, then turning back to the screen in wonder. Catherine had taken his hand and squeezed it, giving him a smile as he glanced at her for no more than a second before turning back to the movie screen in front of him.

And then there was the piece of his robes that had gotten caught on a bush one day in the park. She picked it up and brought it to her nose, imagining she could still smell his scent upon it. He had thought she was mental when she picked up the small scrap of fabric and put it into her pocket, but she had just smiled at him and laughed.

The final item in the box was a smaller box that contained the locket. Catherine opened it and took the locket out, rubbing it gently with her fingers. She looked to her wand in her pocket and back to the locket. She hadn't seen the picture inside for over 15 years, but something stopped her from opening it now. Instead, she undid the clasp on the chain and put the locket around her neck, fastening it and slipping the necklace underneath her shirt. It sat almost directly over her heart and she felt as if it were warming her skin, setting it afire. Shuddering, she placed a hand over the small ridge the locket made under her shirt and closed her eyes. She would open it, sometime soon, but for now, it was enough that she wore it.

She sat for a few moments more and then put the remaining items back into the box. She put the box back into the wardrobe and closed the door, resting her forehead against the wood for a moment. Then, resolutely, she stood and straightened her shoulders, tossing her hair behind her. Just as she heard the car drive up in the driveway, Catherine walked determinedly from the room and down the stairs, ready to greet her family.

* * *

Later, Catherine was in the kitchen putting dishes into the dishwasher. She had sent the children upstairs for baths and showers, asking Ellie to supervise. Catherine smiled as she thought about her children's excited chatter over dinner about their day. She looked up as her mother entered the kitchen.

"Sounds like the four of you had a wonderful day," Catherine remarked, smiling at her mother.

"Yes, we did have quite the time," Jane replied as she spooned the remaining food into smaller containers. "I expect they'll all be asleep quite early tonight. I think I may have actually worn them out." Catherine chuckled and the two continued their clean-up in silence.

"What about you?" her mother asked as Catherine closed the dishwasher. "Did you have a productive day?" Catherine turned and leaned back against the counter, crossing her arms in front of her.

"I got all the flower beds weeded," Catherine replied, trying to hold in a smirk.

"That's not what I meant and you know it," her mother admonished.

"Yes, I know," Catherine said, smiling now. "My day was," she trailed off, unsure how to articulate exactly how she felt about it. "Memorable," she decided upon at last, her mouth quirking at the play on words.

"You are quite impossible, have I ever told you that," Jane said, rolling her eyes. "Memorable, honestly." Jane shook her head and Catherine laughed.

"Really, Mum, thank you for what you did," Catherine said, sobering now. "I know I was angry with you this morning, but it is what I needed." Jean reached out and gave her daughter's hand a squeeze.

"And have you exercised all the ghosts, so to speak?" Jane asked, concern etching her features.

"Not completely, no," Catherine said quietly. "And I'm not sure if I ever will, entirely. I don't really even know if I want to." Jane stepped forward and gathered her daughter into her embrace. "But you were right, it doesn't do to try and keep them buried either." She hugged her mother tightly, sighing at the comfort she could still get from her mother's arms, no matter how old she was.

"You know," Jane said, stepping back from Catherine, "sometimes you can never really have closure on something until you've seen or talked to, in this case, all the parties involved."

"Mum," Catherine warned, shaking her head.

"I know, Catherine, I know how you feel about this and I'm not going to push you," Jane replied, looking solemnly at her daughter. "But the last thing I want you to do is go through the rest of your life with doubts or what-ifs. I'm not going to say anything else about it, but please, just think about that." She patted her daughter on the cheek. "Now, I think I'm going to head to bed myself. Spending a day out with my grandchildren reminded me that I'm not as young as I used to be." Catherine chuckled and Jane squeezed her arm lightly before she left the kitchen.

Catherine turned and wiped down the counters, trying to ignore her mother's words about closure and regrets. The kitchen finished, she turned and went upstairs to check on her children. She knew that if they couldn't take her mind off her musings, nothing could.

She stopped in Miranda's room first and saw the girl already in her bed, sound asleep. She had her panda clutched to her chest and her thumb was in her mouth. Catherine sighed, walking to the bed and sinking down onto the edge. She had been trying to get Miranda to stop sucking her thumb for years now and while she had succeeded during the day, night time was a different story. Catherine gently pulled the thumb from her daughter's mouth and Miranda frowned and then shifted in her sleep, shoving the thumb back into her mouth once more. Catherine smiled and shook her head, pulling the sheet up around her daughter and kissing her on the forehead.

She went into Rory's room next. Her son was in bed with his eyes closed, but when Catherine approached his bed, he opened them and smiled at her. She sat down on the edge of the bed and ruffled his hair.

"I'm glad you had fun today," Catherine said with a smile.

"It was great, Mum," Rory agreed, returning her smile. "But I wish you could have come with us."

"I know sweetheart," Catherine replied. "But sometimes, even mums need a day to themselves."

"Is it because you've been so sad?" Rory asked, looking at her in concern. Catherine, taken aback, didn't answer right away. This was a question she would have expected from Ellie, but not from her son.

"What do you mean?" Catherine asked shakily and Rory shrugged.

"It just seems like ever since Ellie got her Hogwarts letter, you've been sad," Rory replied. "Like your voice, just now, it was shaking." Catherine glanced down at Rory and noticed that his eyes looked a little bright. "Did I do something?" he asked quietly. "I mean I know you were mad at me for taking Manda's bear and all, and me and Ellie have been fighting lately and, well," he broke off and looked up at her miserably.

"Oh Rory," Catherine said, gathering her little boy up into her arms and rocking him. "No, sweetheart, you haven't done anything at all, I promise you." A few tears leaked from her eyes as she kissed him on top of his head. He squeezed her tightly around the waist and after a few minutes she pulled back from him.

"You're right, I have been a bit sad since Ellie got her letter, but it's nothing to do with any of you," Catherine said, putting a finger under his chin and forcing him to look at her. "You and Ellie fighting and floating Miranda's bear, none of that has anything to do with what is going on with me. I think I'd be worried if you and your sisters weren't annoying each other." Rory smiled at this and Catherine chuckled.

"Then what _is_ wrong, Mum?" Rory asked her, serious look on his face.

"I've just been thinking about some things that happened when I was at Hogwarts and they've made me a little sad, that's all," Catherine replied, giving her son a wavering smile.

"How come?" he asked.

"Well, I had some very good friends when I went to school and I haven't seen any of them for a very long time and I miss them," she said simply, running a hand through his hair.

"Well, maybe now that Ellie is going to go there, maybe you can talk to them again. Maybe they have kids that are going to Hogwarts too," Rory said, beaming up at her. Catherine smiled, genuinely this time.

"Yes, perhaps they do," she replied. "Now, time for bed for you." She kissed the tip of his nose and he grimaced, wiping it off with the back of his hand. Catherine laughed and he grinned widely at her, then flung his arms around her neck and squeezed tightly.

"I love you Mum." Catherine felt herself tearing up again and kissed Rory's head once more.

"And I love you, my sweet boy," she whispered. Rory pulled back from her and she smiled. He lay back down in his bed and she covered him up, then ran a hand down his cheek. "Sleep well." He nodded and snuggled under the covers and Catherine left the room, pausing in the doorway to look back at him. He was so different from his father, Catherine sometimes had a hard time believing that Daniel was even related to him. Rory was much more like, Catherine paused, her breath catching. She had been about to say Sirius, she knew, and the thought constricted around her heart like an iron band.

"If only he had been," she whispered to herself, before turning away and walking toward her oldest daughter's room.

When Catherine stopped in the doorway of Ellie's room, she saw the girl sitting at her desk, reading something while brushing her hair. Catherine leaned against the door frame, watching the sure strokes of her daughter's brush through her hair for a few seconds before entering.

"Want me to do that?" Catherine asked, indicating the brush in Ellie's hand. Ellie hesitated, looking up at her mother and then smiled.

"Sure Mum," she replied, handing the brush to Catherine. Catherine moved behind her daughter and began brushing.

"I haven't done this for you in a while," Catherine said and Ellie shrugged.

"You're usually busy with Manda's rat nest," Ellie stated and Catherine snorted, smiling at the nickname her children had for their youngest sibling. Rory had been unable to say Miranda at 2 ½, Manda all that he could manage to get out, and the nickname had stuck.

"That's one word for it," Catherine agreed. While their hair was the same shade of blonde, Ellie had inherited her father's smooth, straight locks while Miranda, unfortunately for her, had gotten her mother's thick, curly ones. Which also translated to unruly, Catherine thought smirking.

"What's funny?" Ellie asked.

"Just thinking how your hair seems to mirror your personalities," Catherine replied. At Ellie's confused look, Catherine elaborated. "Yours is smooth and even, with the occasional stubborn knot to work out while your sister's is just wild and all over the place." Ellie laughed at this description, then sobered quickly as she seemed to be contemplating what her mother had said.

"What is it El?" Catherine asked, concerned she had somehow hurt her daughter's feelings.

"Do you ever wish I was more like Manda or Rory?" she asked quietly.

"In what way?" Catherine returned, confused by the question.

"I don't know they're both so," Ellie paused, clearly unsure how to form her thoughts into words. "Loud," she finally said and Catherine laughed out loud, causing Ellie to giggle. But the girl quieted quickly again. "That's not really what I mean," she said shaking her head. Catherine set the brush down and sat down on Ellie's bed. She turned her daughter's chair so Ellie faced her.

"Ellie, I don't want you to be anyone but yourself," Catherine said, beginning to understand what Ellie was asking. She waited, knowing there was more on her daughter's mind.

"Sometimes I think that maybe I'm too much like," Ellie stopped and bit her lip, glancing up at her mother. "That I'm too much like Daddy and that makes you sad." Catherine took a deep breath and took her daughter's hands in hers.

"Ellie, look at me please," Catherine began and when her daughter finally raised her head, Catherine could see the tears shining in her eyes. "I loved your father once. If I hadn't, I never would have married him or had the three of you. Ellie, your dad had some wonderful qualities and if you have those same qualities then you should be nothing but proud of them."

"Yes, but," Ellie began, but Catherine silenced her with a finger to the girl's lips.

"No, Ellie," Catherine admonished. "Things didn't work out between your father and me, that's true. But part of that was my fault. I lied to your father for a very long time and about something very important. And while it's easy to blame him for everything that happened, and rightly so for quite a bit of it, you can't forget my part. I can sit here and say that if I could, I would have done things differently, but if I had, the three of you might not be here, so I don't know if I would have." Ellie looked shocked at this and Catherine shrugged. "I regret a lot of things that happened with your father, especially everything that happened after he found out, but having the three of you is not one of them." Ellie looked at her for a moment and then nodded, Catherine gathering the girl up into her arms. She sighed as her daughter melted into her embrace and Catherine wondered once again if perhaps Ellie had been hurt too deeply.

Miranda had been just a baby when her father left, Catherine didn't even think that she really remembered him at all. Rory, while old enough to remember, had still been quite young and his personality was one that seemed to allow him to bounce back quite quickly from the trauma he and Ellie had gone through. But Ellie, Ellie had been six and a definite daddy's girl and everything that had come in the year after had just broken her down even more. Catherine remembered the child she had scooped into her arms the night that everything had finally exploded and shuddered at the seeming deadness that had been in her eyes.

And then there were the nights that followed when Ellie would wake up screaming from a nightmare, but once Catherine appeared in her room, would roll over on her side and pretend that she hadn't seen her mother. It was only Jane that was able to get through to Ellie, only Jane that Ellie would allow to hold her and comfort her after one of her dreams, even going so far as to sleep in her grandmother's room for a few months when the dreams were at their worst. And Catherine would lie in her bed and sob when she heard her daughter's screams and know there was nothing she could do to help her.

But Ellie had slowly come back to her. Catherine could still remember the first time her daughter smiled at her, with no prompting from anyone else and the day that she shyly took Catherine's hand when they were at the zoo. Catherine had been able to hold back her tears by the very slimmest of margins, simply squeezing Ellie's hand and not looking at her. And then later, when they had come home, Catherine had cried on her own mother's shoulder, thanking her for all the cautions for patience that Jane had given. And the next time that Ellie had a dream, Catherine had heard "Mummy!" being yelled from her room, she had very nearly flown to her daughter's side and stayed with her the rest of the night, simply watching her and running a hand through her hair.

"Mum?" Ellie said in concern and Catherine shook herself from her reverie.

"Sorry, sweetheart, I was just remembering," Catherine said, cupping Ellie's cheek with her hand. Ellie leaned into her for a moment then sat up, still looking a bit uncertain.

"Are you sure?" she said, breaking off and biting her lip.

"Eleanor Catherine, I want you to listen to me very carefully," Catherine began holding her daughter's gaze. "I love you for you, everything about you, good and bad, and I would never, ever, ask you to stop being who you are." She searched her daughter's face, hoping that she understood Catherine's meaning, since changing who she was, was exactly what her father had expected. Ellie looked at her for a few moments then finally nodded, hugging her mother again.

"Although, the eye rolling I could do without," Catherine added, cheekily. To which her daughter responded with the most exaggerated eye roll Catherine had ever seen, which was saying a lot, considering Catherine had once been friends with Myra MacKenzie. Soon, the two were laughing until their sides hurt.

"All right, into bed with you," Catherine said once they had calmed down. "You've had a long day." Ellie climbed in and snuggled down under the covers her mother pulled up over her. "I thought we might go to Diagon Alley and get your supplies in a few days," Catherine said once Ellie was sufficiently tucked in.

"Okay," Ellie said, smiling. Catherine patted her cheek and leaned down and kissed her on the forehead.

"I love you Ellie-bell," Catherine said.

"Me too Mum," Ellie replied, for once not complaining about the childhood nickname. Catherine turned and began to walk out of the room. "Mum?" she heard when she reached the door.

"Yes, sweetheart," Catherine said turned back around.

"Was it a boy, Mum?" Ellie asked and Catherine's brow furrowed at the question.

"What are you talking about Ellie?"

"What Grandma said that day you took me out to lunch, the extenuating circumstances," Ellie explained. "Was it a boy?" Catherine took a deep breath and let it out slowly, then went back into Ellie's room and sat down on the edge of her bed.

"Yes, Ellie, it was a boy," she replied quietly. Ellie nodded.

"Maybe, when I go to Hogwarts, maybe you can find him again and then maybe you won't be so sad anymore. I could help you." Catherine sat in silence, unable to say anything. "I don't want you to be sad, Mum," Ellie whispered and then she turned on her side, burrowing under her covers in embarrassment. Catherine reached a hand out and brushed it over Ellie's hair, as she felt the tears begin to gather in her eyes. She stood abruptly and walked from the room, stopping just as she crossed into the hall.

"Maybe, Ellie, maybe," she said, very quietly, and as she walked down the hall, her daughter smiled in the darkness.

When Catherine reached her room, she crossed to the window and looked out into the night. She pulled the locket from inside of her shirt and rubbed her fingers lightly over it as she forced herself to look up at the stars. She wondered, not for the first time, just where Sirius was and if he was happy. As her eyes travelled from one constellation to the next, naming them all in her mind and she felt as if it had been just yesterday that she had been up on the Astronomy tower with Sirius. She stared up at the night sky for what seemed like hours, wiping away a stray tear now and then.

She closed her eyes and popped the locket open with trembling fingers. After staring at the two small pictures for a few moments, she tuned to the nightstand beside her bed and opened the drawer. Her wand lay of the array of items in the drawer and Catherine pulled it out. She held her wand in one hand and the locket in the other before finally making up her mind. She set her wand down on her bed and reached up and unclasped the locket and laid it in the bed next to her wand. Crossing to her door, she closed it quietly and then moved back to the bed. For a few minutes, Catherine simply stared at the two items lying there. And then she took a deep breath and sat down on the bed.

Picking up her wand, she pointed it at the locket and spoke the spell. There was a small part of her that thought that perhaps the spell wouldn't work, that it had been too long, that the magic had spoiled or something. But almost instantly the images began to glow and then formed into the two small figures she remembered so well. She watched the sequence over and over again, not even realizing that the tears were once again running down her face. The night of her 16th birthday had been one of the most wonderful nights of her life. Even now, after all this time, she still had a hard time believing that it had gone so terribly wrong just one short month later.

* * *

**A/N2 - In case you were wondering, the "animatum" simply means animate in Latin. :)**


	12. Attack

**A/N - Angsty times ahead, I'm afraid. This chapter has a violence warning, as you can probably tell from the title. Nothing overly graphic, though. We'll be strictly in flashbacks for the next couple of chapters, as this is the beginning of the end of the first story arc. Enjoy and leave me your thoughts! **

**Chapter 12**

**Attack**

**7 March 1978**

Catherine walked down the corridor towards her study room. She still had half an hour before she was supposed to meet Sirius, her meeting in the library having finished up early. She was working on a group project for Arithmancy with Myra and two other students and they had just finished their last bit of research. Catherine decided to finish up on her Potions essay in the room before Sirius arrived.

Making her way down the corridor, she frowned as she heard whispering and a scuffling noise around the corner ahead. She hid behind the same suit of armor she had the previous year when she had overheard Sirius and Peter talking about the full moon and listened. There seemed to be a few people around the corner, at least she could make out a few different voices, although not what they were saying. Both girls and boys she noted as she listened intently. Still, no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't make out more than a few words here and there. She thought someone said something about hiding and she could have sworn she heard the word disillusionment, but the rest was just mutterings and whispers. She risked a glance around the corner and saw what looked like six people standing in the corridor directly in front of her study room door.

They all had cloaks on with hoods and Catherine frowned wondering what they were doing. One stepped a bit ahead of the rest and pointed their wand at the door. Catherine could hear muttering and figured they must be trying to open the door to her room, but why, she couldn't figure out. When the door remained tightly shut, another person stepped forward pushing the first one back. The second figure was most certainly a boy, if his height and build were any indication. Catherine pulled her head back behind the suit of armor. They were obviously trying to get into her study room, but she was unsure if they knew it was hers or if they were just curious as to what was behind the door. Her brow furrowed in puzzlement at the cloaks and hoods, however. If they were merely curious, why would they be dressed that way? And why were there so many of them? She supposed they could have all been together and just happened upon the room, although that seemed highly unlikely and it still didn't explain their dress.

As she was thinking, Catherine leaned back against the wall and didn't notice as her foot bumped the handle of the spear the suit of armor was holding. It teetered in the air for a moment, and before Catherine even really realized what was happening, it crashed to the floor.

"What was that?" someone from around the corner hissed and Catherine gasped in a breath and looked around wildly for somewhere to hide. Suits of armor lined the walls of the corridor she was in, but she would be easily seen trying to hide behind one of them. She began to move back out into the corridor, intending to run for it, when two people came around the corner. The corridor was shadowy, there weren't as many torches down here as there were in more heavily travelled parts of the castle, and with their hoods up, Catherine could not see their faces, but she was almost certain they were boys.

She forced herself to stand her ground and take a breath, looking innocently at the two people in front of her. She opened her mouth to say something when the other four people came around the corner.

"Well, well, what do we have here?" a voice said, as one of the shorter people came to stand in front of the group. A girl, then. "Spying on us, were you?"

"No," Catherine replied. "I was just taking a walk and accidentally ran into the suit of armor. Why, are you doing something that you shouldn't be?" Catherine thought that if she should keep the girl talking, maybe she would recognize her voice.

"Never mind what we were doing," the girl spat, moving a few steps closer to Catherine. Her face was still in shadow, despite the torch shining almost directly on her and Catherine realized with a start that they must have cast some sort of spell to hide their faces. Her heart began to beat faster as she realized how much trouble she was really in. Her hand gripped her wand in her pocket.

"Scared, mudblood?" the girl whispered, closer still to Catherine and Catherine forced herself to stay where she was.

"Look, I don't know who you are or what you're doing, but I'm supposed to be meeting someone here any minute, so if you'll just let me by," Catherine made to move around the girl, but she grabbed Catherine's arm, holding her tightly.

"You're not going anywhere," the girl said and glanced back at the rest of her group. "Looks like we need to teach someone not to poke their nose where it doesn't belong." A few of the group grumbled and shifted nervously, but when the girl whipped her head back towards them, they all stilled. Clearly she was the leader of this, whatever it was.

"Forget it, go back to what you were doing. I didn't see anything. I'll just go back to my common room," Catherine said, getting desperate now. She yanked on her arm, but the girl was stronger and held fast. Two more people from the group began to creep closer to them and Catherine's hand tightened shakily around her wand.

The girl holding her began to laugh and soon the rest of the group joined in. The girl turned her head back toward the group and Catherine realized that this was her chance. Drawing her wand as quickly as she could, she yelled, "Stupefy" and pointed it at the group of people. She caught two of the onlookers with the spell and they both flew backwards, landing against the wall. The girl holding her whipped back around and drew her own wand, pointing it at Catherine's face.

"You'll regret that," she growled. In her surprise, she had let go of Catherine's arm and Catherine whirled to flee when a spell caught her in the back. The force of it slammed her into the opposite wall and she heard a crunch from her midsection as she crumpled to the floor. Gasping in pain, she pointed her wand over her shoulder back towards the group and yelled out "Petrificus Totalus" and then a "Protego" around herself . Hearing a grunt, she figured she had hit someone, but if the spell had connected fully, she couldn't tell. She crawled toward the wall, trying to pull herself up into a standing position. When she was finally on her feet, she turned back, wondering why no one had thrown any other spells her way. In that instant, three spells crashed into her shield, shattering it. The shield held two at bay, but the third slammed her into the stone wall again, sideways this time, and with enough force that she knew her leg had broken. Her temple also made contact with the rough stone and she felt blood begin to run down her cheek as she crumpled to the floor once again.

The girl who had been holding her arm earlier, pointed her wand and called out "expelliarmus" and Catherine felt her wand fly out of her hand. She slumped back on the floor, each breath she took causing her severe pain, her sight fuzzy and muddled from the blow to her head. Oh god, where was Sirius? Catherine began to shake as the girl who had disarmed her loomed over her.

"Not so sure of yourself now, are you mudblood?" the girl taunted, twirling Catherine's wand between her fingers. "What should we do with her?" the girl called out to her companions, then grinned wickedly at Catherine.

"Just leave her and let's go before someone else shows up," one of the boys said and through her haze of pain, Catherine could see the rest of the group glancing around the corridor nervously. One, she saw in triumph, was hanging over the shoulders of their friends, the result of her stupefy, Catherine thought.

"Leave her?" the girl practically screamed. "We've barely even begun to punish her."

"Yeah, well, I don't fancy being sent to Azkaban," another boy said. The girl in front of Catherine snorted.

"You are such an infant," she said. "Fine go, I'll take care of her myself." She turned back to Catherine and Catherine felt as if she could see the madness rolling off of the girl in waves. Two of the group began to sidle off, one with an injured friend still around his shoulders. The other two looked warily around, but did not leave the corridor. The girl leaned back down over Catherine, who was finding it harder and harder to take a breath.

"Let's see how your little boyfriend likes you with a big gash across your face," she hissed as she moved her wand down the side of Catherine's cheek, opening up a bleeding line in its wake. Catherine gasped in a breath and nearly screamed with the pain of it. Ribs, she thought, I broke ribs. She tried to concentrate on the girl's words, figure out what they meant, but her mind was clouded with pain and she couldn't seem to focus on anything.

"Well, you've got a much higher tolerance for pain than I gave you credit for, I'll give you that," the girl said as she walked around Catherine slowly, as if studying her. "I suppose I'll have to go for the big one then." Catherine began to shake her head weakly, knowing what was coming, but unable to do anything to stop it.

"Crucio!" the girl yelled and then all Catherine felt was pain. Unending, excruciating, agonizing, unbearable pain. Her mouth opened to scream, but no sound escaped and somewhere in the part of her mind that was still functioning, Catherine knew that someone else had put a silencing spell on her.

"Are you completely mental?" one of the boys yelled as the pain finally, blissfully, ended. "Do you want to bring the whole castle down on us?"

"Shut up!" the girl screamed and then turned back toward Catherine. "Cruc-", but the boy grabbed her arm before she could finish the incantation and pulled her away.

"Someone's coming," he hissed. "Come on!" The girl shrieked and muttered something and Catherine felt her body slam into the wall once more. There was a pop and she felt as if all of the air had been pushed forcefully from her lungs and then nothing but blackness.

* * *

As her mind became aware, Catherine heard voices. Before she could distinguish what they were saying, however, a wave of pain crashed over her and she gasped. And then she felt as if she couldn't get enough air, like she was choking. She began to try and pull in breath after breath, gasping with the pain, but beginning to panic without enough air.

"Catherine, calm down, breathe slowly," a familiar voice said and Catherine opened her eyes to find Remus Lupin kneeling beside her. Catherine opened her mouth to try and say his name, but it came out in a jumble and he took her hand, squeezing it gently. "It's all right, Lily went for help, just breathe." Catherine tried to focus on his face, but the pain was so great, her eyes kept rolling back into her head.

"Catherine, Catherine!" she heard him shout and she tried to look at him, tried very hard to concentrate, to make herself pay attention, but she hurt, everywhere, and she couldn't breathe and then the panic set in once again. She looked back towards Remus, her eyes wild, and he put a hand to her face and she grimaced because that hurt too, her cheek, the cut and her leg and her chest and the pain and then all was black again.

* * *

When she awoke the next time, she saw a worried Madame Pomfrey kneeling beside her. The pain was still there, but it had lessened a bit, enough that she could focus. She looked round and Remus and Lily were standing at her feet, Lily's face hidden in Remus' chest, her shoulders shaking as if she were crying. Remus looked murderous and when Catherine groaned, she heard him swear under his breath. Catherine gasped again as pain pierced her side and she grabbed for the medi-witch's sleeve.

"Can't….breathe," she managed to pant out and Madame Pomfrey's eyes narrowed.

"Yes, that will be the ribs," the healer said and Catherine's eyes widened. "It's all right, Catherine, just take small, calm breaths. Like this." Madame Pomfrey began to demonstrate and Catherine tried to match her breathing, eventually calming down enough to do it. "That's right, very good." The nurse turned to Remus and Lily. "I need you to fetch Professor Flitwick and Professor Dumbledore and bring them to the hospital wing. I'm sure the Headmaster will have questions for you." Remus nodded and pulled Lily away from him, who wiped her face and sped down the corridor toward Professor Flitwick's office. Remus turned to follow when Sirius came racing around the corner. He stopped short and his mouth dropped open at the sight of Catherine lying on the ground in a pool of blood, Madame Pomfrey by her side. He began to run towards her when Remus stopped him.

"Padfoot, wait," Remus said, struggling with his friend.

"Let me go Moony, let me go to her," Sirius yelled.

"Let Madame Pomfrey do what she needs to and get her to the hospital wing," Remus said calmly still holding Sirius back.

"Moony, let me go," Sirius roared and he yanked an arm from Remus and pulled his wand on his friend. Catherine began to cry, her breath coming in gasps again and Madame Pomfrey jumped up, pulling her own wand.

"Stop this, immediately," the matron fumed, glaring at Sirius. "Mr. Black, you are not helping anything. Do as Mr. Lupin says or I will bar you from the hospital wing." Sirius looked at Catherine, his eyes wild, breathing heavily. His shoulders slumped as Remus put an arm around him and he brought a hand to his face.

"Come on Padfoot," Remus said gently and Sirius let his friend lead him a short distance away from Catherine. He watched, anguish in his eyes, as the medi-witch worked over Catherine, then conjured a stretcher and levitated her up into the air. She began to walk briskly down the corridor, Sirius and Remus following closely behind. Sirius' eyes never left Catherine's as they made their way toward the hospital wing.

"Sirius, I have to get Professor Dumbledore," Remus said as they reached the corridor which would take Remus to the Headmaster's office. "Are you going to be all right?"

"What?" Sirius turned to Remus distractedly. "Oh, yeah, fine. Go ahead." Remus looked at him in concern, but turned down the corridor he needed to just the same. After Remus had gone, Sirius sped up and came up on the other side of Catherine. He glanced at Madame Pomfrey, but she simply gave him a hard stare, then nodded her head shortly. Sirius reached down and took Catherine's hand, bringing it to his lips.

"You're going to be all right," he said, as much to convince himself as her.

"Sirius," Catherine breathed. "Hurts." Tears began to make their way down her face once more.

"I know love, I know," he whispered, not really caring that they had an audience. "But Madame Pomfrey is going to take good care of you. She'll fix you right up in no time, you'll see." The trio had reached the hospital wing and Madame Pomfrey directed the stretcher to one of the beds, laying Catherine down on it and vanishing the stretcher. Sirius still held onto her hand and the medi-witch looked at him in sympathy.

"Mr. Black, you'll need to wait over there," she said, pointing to another bed. "I need to examine her." Sirius nodded and kissed Catherine's knuckles once more.

"I'll be right here waiting, love," he said quietly and brushed a hair off her forehead and Catherine gave him a weak smile. As he turned and walked away from the bed, Madame Pomfrey put a hand on his shoulder and gave it a squeeze. She pulled the screens around the bed and turned to Catherine.

"All right my dear, let's get you fixed up, shall we."

* * *

When Catherine awoke for the final time, she was alone and the screens had been removed. She looked down and saw there was some kind of splint on her leg. It was a little sore, but it didn't hurt too badly. She brought a hand up to her head, which was still pounding a bit and felt the sore spot on her temple where she had hit the wall, wincing at the pain, a slight wave of nausea overtaking her for a moment. When it had passed, she realized she could breathe a little easier and felt her side, which was tender but intact apparently.

There must have been some kind of charm on her bed, for no sooner had she finished her inspection of herself than Madame Pomfrey was hustling to her bedside.

"Ah, Miss Powell, you're awake I see," the matron smiled at her and Catherine weakly smiled back. Madame Pomfrey ran a diagnostic spell over her. "The ribs are healing up nicely and your leg should be fine in another day or two also. The ribs punctured one of your lungs, but I've repaired that as well. That was why you were having trouble breathing. You do have a concussion so you'll still have to rest for a few days." Catherine brought a hand to her cheek, remembering the cut she'd been given. "Don't worry about that either. It was fresh enough that it healed rather quickly. There will probably be a scar, but it will be very faint, barely noticeable." The medi-witch smiled at her again and patted her shoulder. "I've given you a pain potion, but if you need another, you just let me know, all right?"

Catherine nodded and then took an experimental breath. When she could do so without pain, she took a deeper one. There was a slight twinge, but nothing near the pain that she had felt before. She sighed in relief and smiled at Madame Pomfrey.

"Professor Dumbledore would like to speak with you, if you feel up to it," the matron said and Catherine nodded again. Madame Pomfrey walked to the door of her office and a few moments later, the Headmaster and Professor Flitwick entered the ward.

"Miss Powell, are you quite all right?" her head of house squeaked, coming to stand on a chair near her bedside.

"I'll be okay Professor," Catherine said smiling.

"I'm so very sorry about this, child," Professor Flitwick said, laying a hand on her arm.

"As am I Miss Powell, as am I," Professor Dumbledore said, with a grave expression on his face, his customary twinkle gone from his eye. "Can you tell me what happened my dear?" Catherine took a deep breath and relayed everything that had happened once she entered the corridor.

"And are you quite sure that you didn't recognize any of your attackers?" Professor Dumbledore asked when she had finished.

"No sir, I think they used some kind of spell that shadowed their faces," Catherine said. "I couldn't even see them when they were standing in the light." Dumbledore and Flitwick exchanged a look.

"Are you sure that they weren't wearing masks, my dear?" Professor Flitwick asked her and Catherine looked at him curiously.

"I don't think so, sir," she replied. "It didn't look like a mask to me. When I looked into their hoods, it just looked like blackness." The two men nodded.

"Did you recognize any of their voices?" Professor Dumbledore asked.

"Not really," Catherine replied, frowning. "There was one that I thought I should recognize, the girl's. But the more I try and grasp it, the further away from me it seems to slip. I know that at least three of them were boys and the one was a girl. I'm not sure about the other two." She looked up at the headmaster apologetically.

"That's quite all right Miss Powell, quite all right," Professor Dumbledore assured her. "Perhaps it will come back to you in time. As it is quite late, I will have Professor Flitwick notify your parents of what has happened in the morning."

"Oh no sir, please, don't do that," Catherine said in alarm, sitting up in her bed and wincing at the stab of pain it caused and then feeling another wave of nausea wash over her.

"Calm down, child," Professor Flitwick said, gently pushing Catherine back against the pillows of her bed. "You'll reinjure yourself."

"Please, sir, please don't tell my parents," Catherine begged, a tear sliding down her cheek.

"I'm sorry, Miss Powell, but it is the school's policy to notify the family when a student has been so gravely injured," the headmaster replied, looking at her curiously.

"But I'm fine sir," she protested. "Honest."

"Catherine, surely you would like to have your parents here with you," Professor Flitwick said, confusion on his face.

"It's just, they won't…my father, he," Catherine sighed, knowing she wouldn't be able to explain it properly. "Never mind."

"I'm sure everything will be fine," Professor Flitwick said, patting her arm again. Catherine said nothing.

"If you remember anything else, please notify me at once," Professor Dumbledore said, still looking at Catherine curiously.

"Yes, sir," she responded. The two teachers nodded at her and left, talking quietly to each other as they walked out of the infirmary. Madame Pomfrey came in a few minutes later to give Catherine another potion for her broken leg and ribs, which tasted awful. She then explained that there was a charm on her bed and should Catherine need anything during the night, the matron would know about it. Catherine nodded and the medi-witch left. The lights were doused a few minutes later, a single torch left burning low for a bit of light in the ward. Catherine lay in her bed in silence, worrying about what would happen when her father found out.

"I thought she'd never go to bed," she heard a voice say in the darkness.

"Sirius," she whispered, the tears instantly coming to her eyes. He sat down on her bed, taking her hand in his and kissing the back of it.

"Don't cry, love," he said quietly, which only made her cry harder. "Shh, now, shh," he said. "You don't want Madame Pomfrey coming back in here do you?" She shook her head and stopped her tears, taking in a deep breath and feeling that twinge again. At the tightening of her mouth, Sirius looked at her concerned, but she shook her head and took his hand again.

"Stay with me, please," she begged, looking up at him with glistening eyes.

"Of course I will," he said, shifting so he was lying down beside her in the bed. She moved and laid her head on his shoulder and he put an arm around her and began to play with her hair. "Do you know who it was?" he asked quietly, but she could hear the anger in his voice.

"No," she said. "They used some kind of darkening spell or something so I couldn't see their faces." He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Whoever it was though, really hates me. Well, the one at least."

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"The one that I knew was a girl, she did all of the talking and threw most of the spells," Catherine said. "She even," Catherine broke off and shuddered. Sirius propped himself up on one elbow and looked down at her.

"What did she do?" he asked in the carefully measured tones that Catherine knew to mean he was very close to the edge of exploding. Catherine shook her head and looked away from him. But, he took her chin gently in his hand and turned her to face him. "Tell me," he said through gritted teeth.

"Cruciatus," Catherine whispered and Sirius jumped out of the bed, pacing back and forth, running hands through his hair and muttering under his breath. Catherine lay quietly for a few moments, then her lip began to tremble when he didn't return. "Sirius," she choked out after another few seconds and his head whipped around towards her. At the look on her face, he was at her side in an instant, climbing back into the bed and pulling her back towards him. She sobbed into his chest and he ran a hand down her back and shushed her, kissing her cheek and murmuring to her until she quieted.

"You should go," she said quickly when she had calmed down.

"Why?" he asked incredulously.

"Because I'm sure after that display Madame Pomfrey will be rushing back in here to see what's wrong with me," Catherine said.

"I don't give a damn if she catches me here," Sirius insisted. "I'm not leaving you." Catherine tried to protest, but he silenced her with a kiss and she settled back into his chest.

"I don't understand," she said quietly after a few minutes of silence.

"Don't understand what, love?" he asked, kissing her forehead.

"How anyone could hate me that much," she whispered, clutching his side. "What have I done?" and her tears began to fall once more.

"You haven't done anything," he said soothingly, rubbing her back again. "It's prejudice, pure and simple. It's not your fault and don't go blaming yourself for it." Catherine clung to him trying not to think about what had happened.

"My wand," she said suddenly, trying to sit up but trapped by Sirius' arm. "She took it. She took my wand!" She was angrier about this than she had been about anything else that happened. Sirius released her and she sat up in the bed, frustrated that she couldn't get up and pace like Sirius had because of her leg. "She's got my bloody wand Sirius!" she nearly shouted and Sirius threw up a quick silencing spell.

"Shh, Catherine," he admonished, amazed that Madame Pomfrey had not yet made an appearance. "She doesn't have your wand."

"How do you know?" Catherine demanded. "She disarmed me."

"Because Remus said that your wand was lying next to you when he and Lily found you," Sirius replied. "He picked it up and then he gave it to Professor Dumbledore when the professor asked about it. Something about checking it for spells." Sirius waved a hand as if to say he didn't know what it all meant.

"Will you tell me what happened? When Remus and Lily found me?" she asked and he nodded. They settled back against the pillows, Sirius cancelling the charm.

"Remus and Lily had been working on something with Professor Slughorn," Sirius said. "They were headed back to the tower and there's a shortcut down the corridor past the study room, so that's where they were going. They heard someone yell something and then a girl yelled shut up and then a shriek. They started running and when they came round the corner, they saw you lying there." His grip momentarily tightened around her shoulder. "Merlin, Lily said, she said she thought you were dead at first." He shuddered and Catherine turned her head and kissed him. He took a deep breath. "Moony knew you weren't and he sent Lily for Madame Pomfrey. He healed that cut on your face, by the way. He's had lots of self-practice." Catherine grimaced.

"I woke up for a few minutes when he was there," she said, remembering Remus' words to try and keep her calm. Sirius nodded.

"He told me," he said. "When you passed out, he was really scared that you wouldn't wake up again, he knew you could barely breathe, but then Madame Pomfrey got there."

"So they didn't see anyone?" Catherine asked and Sirius shook his head. His mouth had gone into a tight line and there was hardness in his eyes that Catherine rarely saw. "What is it?" she asked. Sirius just shook his head and looked away from her. "Sirius," she prodded and he jumped up from the bed again and rounded on her.

"I was late, all right?" he ground out, his voice rising in his anger. "I was late and if I hadn't been this wouldn't have happened. I should have been there!" He was shouting and Catherine was gesturing at him to be quiet when she heard a door open and her face fell knowing they were about to be caught. Sirius seemed not to have noticed because he turned to her with complete anguish in his eyes and stumbled towards the bed. "I should have been there," he whispered, dropping to his knees and burying his face in her lap. Catherine leaned forward and kissed the back of his head, running her hands through his hair. His shoulders were shaking when Catherine saw movement at the foot of her bed and Madame Pomfrey's irate face came into view. Catherine looked at her pleadingly, continuing to rub Sirius' head and the matron crossed her arms, her lips in a tight line. She finally sighed and shook her head, then turned. She glanced back and Catherine mouthed a thank you to her and then turned her attention back to Sirius.

"Sirius, it's not your fault," Catherine said quietly, as she stroked his hair. "It's no more your fault than it is mine. Besides, even if you'd been there, it might not have mattered. There were six of them Sirius." He gripped her hips more tightly at her reminder of just how unfair the odds had been. After a few shuddering breaths, he looked up at her, tears still staining his face. She put a hand to his cheek and rested her forehead against his.

"Stop it," she said. "Please." He looked at her for a few moments before he nodded and then kissed her.

"I'm sorry," he whispered as he took her face gently in his hands. He ran a finger down the now fading cut on her cheek and kissed the bruise on her temple. He ran his hands lightly down her sides and she shivered, then he bent and placed a kiss on her leg where it was splinted. "I'm sorry," he said again when he looked up at her.

"There's nothing to forgive," she said, kissing him softly on the lips. At that moment, Madame Pomfrey approached the bed once again.

"Mr. Black," she said sharply and Sirius straightened up quickly. "While I appreciate the fact that you are concerned about Miss Powell, I must insist that you return to your dormitory. The hospital wing is not a love nest." Catherine covered her mouth to stifle a giggle, her face reddening. Sirius simply smiled and swept into a deep bow.

"Madame Pomfrey, I apologize and beg your forgiveness," he said, giving her his best wolfish grin. The medi-witch just rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"Five minutes, Mr. Black," she said and then turned and went back into her office.

"She's in love with me," Sirius said, waggling his eyebrows, once the matron had disappeared and Catherine snorted.

"In your dreams, Black," Catherine replied, slapping him lightly on the shoulder.

"You know, five minutes is a rather long time," he said, leaning forward and kissing her again. She smiled against his mouth and kissed him back, then pushed him lightly away from her.

"Go," she said. "Before she comes back and hexes you."

"Are you sure you'll be all right?" he asked in concern.

"I'll be fine," Catherine insisted, kissing him lightly. "Now go and don't get caught by Filch on the way back."

"Filch?" Sirius asked incredulously. "You wound me Cat, you wound me." He brought a hand to his heart theatrically.

"Go, you big idiot," she said laughing.

"Ah, but I'm your idiot," he said, kissing her once more. Catherine shook her head as he turned and walked out of the room, winking at her over his shoulder as he left. When he was gone, Madame Pomfrey came back to Catherine's bed, clucking her tongue and helping Catherine get back into bed properly.

"Those boys will be the death of me one day," the matron said as she pulled Catherine's blankets back up over her. But she had a smile on her face when she said it.

"Thank you," Catherine said, as Madame Pomfrey finished fussing over her. "For letting him stay. I'm sorry that we woke you."

"My dear, I knew the moment that boy came into the ward tonight," the medi-witch said, patting Catherine's hand. "Had I not seen the look on his face when he first saw you in the corridor, I never would have believed it."

"Believed what?" Catherine asked in confusion.

"That he's completely in love with you, of course," Madame Pomfrey replied and Catherine blushed. "If you breathe a word of this to anyone, I will swear that you were delirious on potions at the time, but I'm not so old that I have forgotten what romance is like. I let the two of you have a few moments, until I heard Mr. Black yelling. As the Headmaster always says, there's always a need for a little more love in the world. Especially in times such as these." She patted Catherine's cheek and smiled at her. "And don't worry, your secret is safe with me. Sleep well my dear."

"Thank you Madame Pomfrey," Catherine replied, closing her eyes and moving into a somewhat comfortable position. She was asleep within moments.

* * *

Catherine was running, a hooded figure chasing after her. She turned corner after corner, but none of the corridors she was in ever led anywhere. The person behind her fired off spells now and then, Catherine ducking or moving to the side to avoid being hit. When the person began to laugh, a high-pitched cackling sort of sound, Catherine's breath caught. She knew that laugh, she'd heard it before, she just couldn't remember where. But she knew she needed to get away from whoever it was. Turning another corner, Catherine sobbed as she realized that she had run into a dead end. Turning around quickly, she judged the distance between herself and her unknown assailant, trying to decide if she could escape back the way she had come and find another corridor. Before she had made a decision, the person in the hood came around the corner. Catherine backed up against the wall behind her and pulled her wand. She wouldn't go down without a fight, at least.

The two shot spells at each other, before Catherine was finally hit with a cutting hex to her shoulder and fell to the ground in pain. Before she could recover, the hooded figure stood looming over her.

"Scared, mudblood?" the figure asked and Catherine drew in a sharp breath. Then the person began to laugh and said "Avada Kedavra". As the green light flew towards her, the figure took down their hood and Catherine gasped in recognition as the spell hit her and all went black.


	13. Nightmares and Knowing

**A/N- Happy Friday everyone! Some answers here about the attack and we get to see protective Sirius again. A little McGonagall too, who I've always thought, despite her sternness had a softer side. And I think, even though they drove her crazy, she always had a little bit of a soft spot for the Marauders. Thanks for reading, reviewing and alerting! Enjoy! **

**Chapter 13**

**Nightmares and Knowing**

**8 March 1978**

Catherine woke up gasping for breath, her heart pounding loudly in her chest, cold sweat at her brow. She glanced around wildly, trying to find her wand on the table beside her bed. When she couldn't see it, she began to search the blankets and sheets, sobs beginning to wrack her body. Seconds later, a worried looking Madame Pomfrey was at her bedside.

"Miss Powell, please calm down," the matron said, Catherine looking at her with wild eyes. She couldn't focus on what was being said, just continued to search in vain for her wand. "Miss Powell!" Madame Pomfrey said sharply and Catherine flinched, but finally met her gaze.

"What is it? What are you looking for?" the medi-witch asked, as Catherine continued to paw through the blankets on her bed.

"My wand, I need my wand. Where is it?" Catherine asked, her voice nearing hysterical.

"Miss Powell," Madame Pomfrey began, but Catherine ignored her still searching. "Catherine," the nurse tried again, taking Catherine's arms in her hands. "Look at me child, you've had a nightmare. Everything is all right, I promise you. No one will hurt you here." Catherine looked up into the eyes of the medi-witch, tears continuing to run down her cheeks. Madame Pomfrey reached a hand out and Catherine flinched back for a moment, then stilled and let the matron run her hand down her hair. Catherine took a deep breath and wiped her face with the back of her hand.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled, but Madame Pomfrey shook her head.

"Nonsense, you've had a very traumatic night, there's no need to apologize," Madame Pomfrey said, smiling sadly at the girl. Catherine pulled in another shuddering breath and her lip began to tremble. The medi-witch opened her arms and Catherine leaned into her, sobbing into her shoulder. Madame Pomfrey rubbed her back and rocked her a little until Catherine was able to compose herself.

"Do you want to talk about it?" the matron asked kindly, but Catherine just shook her head. She took another deep breath, but try as she might, she was unable to keep her mind from returning to her dream and as she relived the last few seconds of it, realization hit her hard.

"Madame Pomfrey," Catherine exclaimed, grabbing the medi-witch's arm. "I have to talk to Professor Dumbledore."

"My dear, it's the middle of the night, surely it can wait until morning," Madame Pomfrey protested.

"No, I need to talk to him now, I've remembered something, I," Catherine broke off, not wanting to share the content of her dream with anyone but the Headmaster. "Please," she begged. Madame Pomfrey sighed in resignation.

"All right, just a moment," she replied and got up from Catherine's bed, going back into her office. She returned only moments later. "The headmaster will be here momentarily."

"Thank you," Catherine replied and what seemed just seconds later, Professor Dumbledore was by her bed, having come through the floo in Madame Pomfrey's office, Catherine assumed.

"Miss Powell, I hear you are quite distressed about something," he said, sitting down on the edge of her bed.

"Yes, sir, I had a nightmare and I've remembered who the girl was," she replied, looking up at the headmaster in fear.

"You are quite certain that it was the same person who attacked you, not just a part of your dream?" he asked and Catherine nodded, clenching and unclenching her hands in her lap.

"Yes, sir, she said something to me in the dream that she also said in the corridor and I remembered. Then at the end of the dream she took down her hood and it was the same person as the voice," Catherine explained and Dumbledore nodded.

"And who was it?" he asked. Catherine took a deep breath and gripped her blankets very tightly.

"Celia Hargrove, sir," she whispered. Dumbledore sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He looked very sad all of a sudden. "Sir?"

"Forgive me, my dear," Dumbledore replied giving her a sad smile. "It is just that it saddens me greatly that things have come to this, students attacking each other in the corridors." He shook his head and suddenly looked very old to Catherine. Most powerful wizard in the world or not, Professor Dumbledore was prey to human emotions, just as any of them were.

"Thank you for the information," he said, standing and smiling at her once again. "I will be sure to investigate this fully."

"Professor," Catherine said, just as he turned to go.

"Yes, Miss Powell," he replied.

"Do you still have my wand?" she asked and he nodded. "Can I, that is, may I have it back?" She looked up hopefully at the headmaster and he smiled at her.

"I promise I shall return it to you in the morning," he answered and Catherine nodded, shoulders slumping a bit. "Miss Powell, please believe me when I say that you are perfectly safe here in the hospital wing. There are wards and charms in place, as well as staff members patrolling the corridors outside throughout the night." Catherine looked up at this, surprise on her face. "We take attacks on our students very seriously."

"Of course, thank you sir," Catherine said and Dumbledore nodded to her and left, his long strides taking him quickly to the door of the ward. Catherine wondered why he just didn't floo back to his office, but perhaps he needed the walk to clear his head. She looked down at her splinted leg and wished she could do the same. Sighing she sat back against the headboard of her bed. She was very tired, but too scared to go back to sleep.

Madame Pomfrey bustled back to her bedside, tucking Catherine back into bed.

"You should sleep now, child," Madame Pomfrey said gently, but Catherine shook her head, tears pricking her eyes again. "Oh my dear, you know I would give you some Dreamless Sleep if I could, but with your concussion I am unable to."

"I know, it's all right," Catherine insisted, mustering up a watery smile.

"No, it is very much not all right," Madame Pomfrey said huffily. "Unfortunately, it is the reality we must deal with. Still, you do need your rest. I'll sit with you until you fall asleep if you like."

"Oh no, you don't have to do that," Catherine protested.

"Nonsense," Madame Pomfrey replied, patting Catherine's hand. "Lie down now." Catherine obeyed and snuggled down under her blankets. She felt Madame Pomfrey's hand running through her hair and sighed. If she closed her eyes, she could pretend it was her mother sitting by her side and comforting her. Tears threatened again at the thought of her parents, but Catherine pushed them down with a deep breath. She would deal with that tomorrow. Just before she drifted off, Celia's comment before she sliced Catherine's face came back to her once again. Catherine tried to grasp at it, but just as when she'd been attacked, she couldn't concentrate on it and the bonds of sleep pulled her under.

* * *

She was running down a corridor again, but this time she was chasing someone else. She knew she had to hurry, knew he would be hurt if she didn't reach him in time. She ran around corner after corner, screaming for Sirius, but receiving no answer. As she rounded another corner, Catherine was confronted with the sight of a hooded figure, laughing maniacally. She ran toward the figure and then noticed someone lying on the floor. The figure laughed again and then yelled 'Crucio' and the person on the floor writhed and bucked, screaming. Catherine stopped short and gasped as she realized it was Sirius.

"Stop, leave him alone!" she screamed at the person torturing him. As the figure whirled, the curse ended and Catherine heard Sirius gasp for breath, moaning. The figure had lost their hood and Catherine looked up into the crazed eyes of Celia Hargrove.

"Well, if it isn't Black's precious mudblood," she taunted, laughing. "You're just in time for the show." With that, Celia turned and called out 'Crucio' again and Sirius' back arched off the floor as the curse took hold. He screamed again and Catherine started forward towards him.

"Oh I don't think so," Celia said, pointing her wand at Catherine once again, but at least Sirius was released from the torture.

"Please," Catherine begged, tears running down her cheeks. "Please, don't hurt him anymore. I'll do whatever you want, please."

"Anything I want?" Celia cocked her head and looked at Catherine contemplatively.

"Yes, anything," Catherine nodded.

"Give me your wand," Celia replied and Catherine handed it to her. Celia continued to stare at her and Catherine found herself shaking under the other girl's scrutiny. "You would give him up?" Celia asked.

"Yes," Catherine whispered, although her heart broke as she said it. Celia just continued to look at her and then grinned widely.

"I've got a much better idea," she said wickedly and turned back to Sirius. "Imperio." Celia pointed her wand at Sirius and he slowly stood up, an unfocused look in his eyes. Celia was grinning madly behind him as she held him at wand point. Sirius looked at Catherine and then drew his wand. He brought it up and pointed it at her, but then it began to waver and Catherine could tell he was trying to fight the curse. She was shaking, staring at Sirius and begging with her eyes for him to fight it. Celia pointed her wand harder at Sirius, grimace on her face and Sirius' arm came up once again. His mouth opened, but nothing came out and Celia shrieked in frustration.

"Do it," she hissed, pointing her wand at him again. "Do it!"

"Sirius, I love you, please," Catherine begged.

"Shut up mudblood, or I'll kill him!" Celia yelled. Catherine closed her mouth, the tears streaming down her face as she watched Sirius fight the curse. Finally, his arm came down and life sprung back into his eyes.

"No," he whispered. "No, I won't." Catherine let out the breath she had been holding and reached out for him, but Celia screamed, infuriated, and pointed her wand at Catherine once again. She opened her mouth and called out a spell. Catherine felt as if the entire scene were in slow motion, Celia's words lengthened and deepened, like some grotesque voice that belonged to evil itself. She watched Sirius' eyes go wide as the spell exited the end of Celia's wand and saw him jump in front of her. The flash of green light was the last thing Catherine saw before Sirius crumpled to the ground and she threw herself on top of him, screaming 'NO!' as Celia watched, laughing madly.

"No, no, please, Sirius," Catherine mumbled, thrashing from side to side in the bed. "No, NO!" she screamed, sitting bolt upright. She continued to scream Sirius' name, even when she felt arms wrap around her and hold her tight. She heard a soft voice speaking in her ear, but her screams wouldn't stop and the last images of the dream played themselves over and over in her mind. She heard snatches of conversation, nothing making sense, her screams blotting out everything.

"-Powell-"

"-heard screaming-"

"-haven't been able to calm-"

"-injure herself-"

"-fetch Mr. Bl-"

"-silencing spell-"

And with the last, her voice was gone, but she could still hear the screams in her head. She continued to thrash and soon found herself immobile and unable to move. She strained against her bonds to no avail and as she descended back into the nightmare in her mind, Catherine could only feel a single tear as it made its way down her cheek.

* * *

What seemed like an eternity later, Catherine could hear someone talking to her, someone she knew she should recognize, someone she wanted very much to speak to, but the scenes from her dream continued to flash across her mind, one after another and she could do nothing to stop them. She felt her breath coming in sharp gasps and the edges of her vision became blurry and the room seemed to tilt. She knew she was on the verge of passing out, but she couldn't seem to take a proper breath.

Suddenly, she felt hands on either side of her face. Very familiar hands. She tried to tear her mind away from the scene currently playing across it, but it seemed to have trapped her in an iron cage, unwilling to let her escape.

"Cat, love, calm down," a familiar voice said. "Please sweetheart, breathe for me. Like this." One hand left her face and grasped her own. It was brought slowly up to rest against a chest, where Catherine could feel a heart beating beneath her palm and the even rising and falling of breath. She shivered and drew in another breath, forcing herself to try and match it to the feeling beneath her hand. Slowly, the images receded in time with the slowing of her breathing, until they were gone all together.

"That's it love, that's it," the voice said to her and she opened her eyes and looked into the grey of Sirius'.

"Sirius," she whispered, letting her head drop down onto his chest and beginning to sob. He kissed her hair and put an arm around her, gripping the hand still resting against his chest tightly.

"Shh, sweetheart, it's all right now. I'm here and everything is fine. Hush now," he said, rubbing small circles on her back and kissing her temple.

"Well done, Mr. Black," she heard another voice say. Catherine looked up and saw Madame Pomfrey and Professor McGonagall standing behind Sirius.

"Professor," Catherine said, her cheeks turning pink as she saw that her Transfiguration teacher was in her pajamas and dressing gown. "I'm sorry, I," Catherine broke off and looked away, unable to meet the professor's eye.

"Do not trouble yourself, Miss Powell," Professor McGonagall replied, clucking her tongue. "I was patrolling the halls and heard you in distress. You did not wake me, child." Catherine felt Sirius' arm around her tighten and she leaned into his side. "Mr. Black, we should return to the dormitory." Catherine whimpered at that and gripped the front of Sirius' shirt. She turned toward Madame Pomfrey, a pleading look on her face.

"Minerva, perhaps we should let Mr. Black remain here for the time being," Madame Pomfrey said. "You know I am unable to give Miss Powell any Dreamless Sleep because of her concussion. As this is the second time she has awoken in just a few hours," the matron trailed off, looking at her long-time friend. Sirius glanced down at Catherine, his brow furrowed in question. Catherine was sure it was in response to the information that this was the second time she had awoken.

"Poppy, surely you are not suggesting that we turn a blind eye to Mr. Black spending the night with Miss Powell," Professor McGonagall said, but her eyes were twinkling brightly. Sirius snickered into Catherine's neck.

"Of course not, Minerva," Poppy returned, smirking slightly at the other woman. "I am sure that Mr. Black will behave as a gentleman." Professor McGonagall actually snorted at this, to which Sirius looked at her in mock offense. "And, of course, the appropriate wards will be put on Miss Powell's bed." She winked as she finished. Catherine simply sat with her mouth hanging open, astonished that her professor and the medi-witch were giving her boyfriend permission to stay with her.

"Well then, I think a few comforts are in order," Professor McGonagall said. She waved her wand at the chair next to Catherine's bed which transformed into a fluffy, overstuffed armchair. A matching ottoman appeared in front of it and a blanket draped itself across the back. "Mr. Black, I expect you to remain in that chair for the duration of the night. The bed will be charmed to detect Miss Powell's weight and her weight alone. It will know if someone else decides to climb in and I do not think you will like the consequences." She looked at Sirius severely over the top of her glasses and Catherine saw Sirius gulp. She hid a grin in his shoulder, trying not to laugh at the look on his face.

"I will expect you bright and early at breakfast tomorrow," the professor continued and Sirius nodded. "Miss Powell, I do hope that you are able to sleep peacefully for the rest of the night. If you should need anything, do not hesitate to come to me."

"Thank you Professor," Catherine replied, smiling shyly. Professor McGonagall turned to Madame Pomfrey.

"Poppy, I trust you can handle everything from here."

"Of course Minerva, thank you for your help." Professor McGonagall gave a short nod, glared at Sirius once more and then turned and left the infirmary. Once the door had closed, Madame Pomfrey turned to the pair on the bed.

"Five minutes Mr. Black," she said, repeating her words from earlier in the night and then turned and left Catherine's bedside.

"Are you all right?" he asked, once the matron had gone.

"No, but I'm better now that you're here," Catherine smiled at him and he gripped her more tightly.

"So what was the dream about?" he asked and Catherine shook her head, hiding her face in his shoulder once again. Sirius simply held her for a few seconds before speaking again. "What about what Madame Pomfrey said? About you waking up before?" he asked. Catherine hesitated. She didn't want to tell him about remembering that it had been Celia who had attacked her. He would only blame himself.

"It was just another dream about, about the attack," she whispered. "It wasn't as bad as this last one. Madame Pomfrey sat with me until I went back to sleep." She shrugged, but shivered and pulled herself closer to Sirius.

"Please tell me, Cat," he said quietly. She took a deep, shuddering breath, but didn't move from his shoulder.

"It was just, the attack again, but instead of me being the one, it was," she trailed off and felt tears begin to run down her cheeks. "It was you and I had to watch. I had to watch while she tortured you." Sirius wrapped both arms around her as she began to cry in earnest once again. When she finally quieted, he pulled back from her and forced her to look at him.

"I'm fine, love. I'm fine and I'm here and nothing is going to happen to me. And you're going to be fine as well and I'm going to make sure that nothing happens to you ever again," he said, his eyes burning with a ferocity Catherine had only seen a few times. "No one is going to hurt you again." He pulled her back into his arms and hugged her. Catherine wrapped her arms around his back and rested her cheek on his shoulder. She could only hope that what he said was true.

"Times up Mr. Black," Madame Pomfrey said a few minutes later and Sirius nodded, moving from the bed to the chair. Madame Pomfrey waved her wand in a complicated pattern over Catherine's bed. She gave Sirius a glare and he smirked at her, causing her to shake her head in exasperation. Catherine moved to lie down again and Madame Pomfrey made sure she was tucked in properly. "I hope that you can rest more comfortably now," the medi-witch said with a small smile. "If you need anything, I will know it." Catherine simply nodded and Madame Pomfrey walked back to her office.

Catherine turned to look at Sirius, who was situating himself in the chair and threw the blanket over his legs. She reached a hand out to him and he turned the chair a bit so he could take it comfortably. He rubbed small circles on the back of her hand with his thumb, looking up at her in concern.

"I was so scared when Professor McGonagall came and got me," he said quietly. "I've never seen her look like she did. And then when we got here, you were so rigid and silent on the bed, but your mouth was open like you were screaming." Catherine looked at him in confusion.

"Madame Pomfrey had to put both a silencing spell on you and a full body-bind," he explained. "She said that you wouldn't stop screaming and you were thrashing around so much in your bed, she was afraid you would hurt your leg again or fall off the bed or something." He looked at her, his eyes full of concern and fear and a bit of confusion as well. Catherine took a deep breath before speaking.

"It was horrible, Sirius," she whispered shivering a little. "It was like I was trapped inside my own head. I could hear people talking, it must have been Madame Pomfrey and the Professor before she came and got you, but I couldn't stop seeing what had happened in my dream. And even when you got here, there was a part of me that knew it was you and I wanted to come back so badly, but I couldn't figure out how. It wasn't until you did that thing with the breathing that I was able to make it all stop."

"Professor McGonagall told me to do that," he admitted. "I guess she dealt a lot with things like this in the war against Grindelwald." He paused and looked at her, deep in thought. "Cat, did you remember anything? Who any of them were, I mean." Catherine closed her eyes, hoping Sirius would think that she was concentrating on trying to remember.

"No," she said, her eyes still closed. "In my dream, they all still had their hoods on." She opened her eyes and looked at Sirius. His expression was hard, the ferocity back in his eyes.

"I want to kill them," he whispered. "I want to kill them all for hurting you." Catherine squeezed his hand.

"You'll have to get in line, I think," she replied. He looked up at her curiously. "Remus looked rather murderous in the corridor and when my father finds out," she trailed off, closing her eyes again.

"They're going to tell your parents, aren't they?" Sirius asked and Catherine nodded. "What do you think he'll do?"

"I don't know and that's what scares me," Catherine replied. "You know how angry he was over the summer. And that didn't even directly affect me." She sighed and looked back at him. "You have to promise me something."

"What?" he asked.

"If I do remember who it was or if Professor Dumbledore figures it out somehow, you have to let the headmaster handle it. Promise me that you won't go after anyone," she finished. Sirius looked away from her, his jaw set. "Promise me Sirius."

"Catherine, they could have killed you," he ground out through gritted teeth.

"I know that, but I couldn't stand it if you did something and got sent away too," she replied, gripping his hand tightly. "Promise me!" she insisted. He looked at her incredulously, as if she had asked him to give up his magic, and then glared at her. She returned his glare, her lips narrowing into a tight line. Finally, his look softened and he squeezed her hand.

"Fine," he said, sighing.

"You don't sound like you mean that," she replied, still scrutinizing his face.

"You can't tell me that you wouldn't want to do the same if I were the one lying in that bed," Sirius said, his teeth clenched once more.

"Of course I would, but that's not what I asked you," she said. "I didn't ask you to stop feeling that way, I just asked you not to act on it."

"Catherine," he said tiredly, pinching the bridge of his nose with his free hand.

"I mean it Sirius," she said, refusing to back down.

"Well, you haven't remembered anything, so it's a moot point anyway, isn't it?" he asked.

"I'm sure that the Headmaster has ways of figuring things out," she replied. He studied her, as if he knew that she was holding something back. Catherine forced herself to meet his gaze and not respond. She was not going to tell him about Celia, he would only blame himself, but if Professor Dumbledore could prove that what Catherine had remembered was true, Sirius would find out anyway. "Promise me," she said again.

"All right, I promise," he said, albeit grudgingly.

"Thank you," she said and he lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it.

"You should sleep now," he admonished gently and she nodded.

"Just, don't let go, all right?" Catherine asked quietly and he smiled.

"Never, love, never," Sirius replied and Catherine closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Her sleep was interrupted twice more by dreams, but they were not as horrible as the ones before had been and as soon as Sirius squeezed her hand and told her he loved her, Catherine had calmed and went back to sleep rather quickly. When she awoke in the morning for the final time, the chair beside her bed was empty. She panicked for a moment before she remembered what Professor McGonagall had told Sirius about coming to breakfast. The thought of breakfast seemed to rouse something within her, as her stomach rumbled loudly. As if on cue, Madame Pomfrey swept into view, levitating a tray in front of her.

"Good morning, Miss Powell," the matron said smiling. "I trust the rest of your night was more peaceful."

"Yes, thank you," Catherine replied, smiling back. Madame Pomfrey set the tray down on the small table beside Catherine's bed.

"I have breakfast, but I need to run a few diagnostics on you first." Catherine nodded and Madame Pomfrey waved her wand over Catherine a few times, lights of different colors appearing over Catherine's body. "Excellent, your ribs are completely healed and I think you should be able to try walking on your leg a bit later this afternoon. The concussion seems to be better as well, I just may be able to give you some dreamless sleep this evening." Catherine smiled in relief, she couldn't wait to get out of the bed and walk around on her own. Of course with the dreamless sleep, she knew that meant Sirius would not be allowed to stay with her and Catherine had mixed feelings about that. While she longed to sleep through the night with no dreams to disturb her, she had rather liked having Sirius next to her holding her hand all night.

Madame Pomfrey handed her two potions which Catherine drank down and then set the breakfast tray on the girl's lap.

"Eat up now, Professor Dumbledore is coming to speak with you after breakfast," the medi-witch said, as Catherine took a bite of eggs. Catherine looked up quickly at this information. She wondered what the headmaster had discovered, if anything. Her earlier ravenous appetite began to wane and the eggs Catherine had already eaten began to feel like rocks in her stomach. She carefully set the try on the table and simply drank her pumpkin juice, her stomach roiling far too much to keep anything else down.

Madame Pomfrey clucked her tongue at the little the girl had eaten, when she came back into the ward a little while later. Catherine smiled weakly at her and shrank farther back into her pillows as she heard the door to the infirmary open. Professor Dumbledore was at her bedside a few moments later.

"Miss Powell," he said, acknowledging her.

"Good morning, sir," Catherine replied quietly.

"I believe I have something to return to you," he said and handed over her wand. Catherine took it with a grateful smile. "I have some other news about the revelation that you informed me of last night." He sighed and sat down in the chair that Sirius had slept in the night before. Somehow Catherine knew this was not going to be good news.

"I spoke with Miss Hargrove first thing this morning and she denies being anywhere near the corridor last evening," he began and Catherine snorted. She had never once expected that Celia would admit to it. "Regardless, I tested her wand for previous spells." Catherine looked up at him, interest on her face. She had read something about the spell that the headmaster was talking about, but she could not remember everything about it.

"Yes, Priori Incantatem. By your look, I assume you have heard of it?" His eyes twinkled and Catherine couldn't help but smile.

"Yes sir, but I don't think I remember much about it," Catherine replied.

"The spell, when cast on a wand, produces echoes of the spells previously cast," he explained. "I cast this on Miss Hargrove's wand and the last spell she cast was a disarming charm." Professor Dumbledore gazed at her, gauging her reaction.

"But that's, that's impossible sir," Catherine protested. "After she disarmed me, she used some kind of cutting spell on my face and then the Cruciatus. I'm not lying, I swear it."

"And I believe you Miss Powell, truly I do," the headmaster replied. "But the fact remains that these spells were not found on her wand."

"Is there some way to block the spell Professor? So the previous spells couldn't be detected?" Catherine asked, desperate to prove her case. If the culprits were not found, she knew she would stand no chance with her father.

"I am unaware if such a spell has been invented," Professor Dumbledore replied. "However, even if it does exist, it would likely be too difficult for the average student to perform." Catherine nodded glumly.

"I did take the liberty of checking your wand as well, and I did find both the cutting hex and the Cruciatus curse." Catherine gaped at him, unable to comprehend what he was saying for a moment. Then realization dawned.

"She used my wand, after she disarmed me," Catherine whispered, remembering Celia twirling the wand through her fingers. A violent shudder went through Catherine at the thought of being tortured with her own wand.

"It appears that is the case," the headmaster said gravely. The two sat in silence for a few moments. "I do wonder," he continued. "Why Miss Hargrove seemed to seek you out. Besides the obvious, of course."

"The obvious being the fact that I am a muggle-born," Catherine queried and he nodded. Catherine looked at her lap, unwilling or unable to tell him about Sirius.

"For example, I wonder why she was trying to enter a room you had been using to study. A room that you had been using for quite some time," he continued. "If she had just come upon it on her own and been curious as to what it was, why bring so many with her? Why the cloaks and the face-darkening spell?" Professor Dumbledore fell silent and when Catherine glanced up at him, he had a look of great concentration on his face. She sighed and he met her gaze.

"It probably had something to do with the person who was studying in the room with me," she said quietly and the headmaster smiled at her, his eyes twinkling once more.

"And who might that be, my dear?" he asked.

"Sirius Black," she replied, not meeting his eyes.

"Ah," Dumbledore said. "And I suspect that given the fact that Mr. Black is a pureblood, Miss Hargrove did not appreciate your… friendship." Catherine's cheeks colored a bit, but she looked up at the professor all the same.

"No sir," she said, almost defiantly. "I suppose it could also have something to do with the fact that she was once betrothed to Sirius."

"Yes, the voided marriage contract," he said, nodding his head. "I heard much about it once Mr. Black was sorted into Gryffindor."

"Yes, well, contrary to what Celia thinks, Sirius wouldn't touch her with a ten-foot pole, whether he was dating me or not," she replied, sniffing disdainfully. Then, realizing what she had said, she gasped and looked up at the headmaster, her face now bright red. She need not have worried, he was smiling at her and his eyes were bright with laughter. Still, she looked away sheepishly.

"Well, this does explain some things," Professor Dumbledore agreed, looking thoughtful. Catherine, however, went back to an earlier point in their conversation, eager to leave the subject of her love life.

"Professor, the other spells Celia used, before she disarmed me, the ones that threw me into the wall," Catherine said. "Those must be on her wand."

"As they are," Professor Dumbledore replied, not seeming the least bit disconcerted about the abrupt change in topic. "However, Miss Hargrove insists that she and some of her classmates were simply practicing dueling. While some of the earlier spells are, questionable," he continued. "None of them are illegal and all are even introduced in our defense class. Albeit not until the 7th year, but Miss Hargrove pleads curiosity and the need to be able to protect herself in these troubled times."

"So she's going to get away with it," Catherine muttered. The headmaster looked at her sadly.

"I could still have a look at your memories and try and identify some of the other students involved." Professor Dumbledore replied. "It is possible that one of them would be concerned enough to admit to their part and report Miss Hargrove. However," he trailed off, pulling at his beard, deep in thought.

"What is it sir?" Catherine asked and Dumbledore sighed loudly.

"The fact remains, Miss Powell that the Cruciatus curse was found on your wand. Miss Hargrove's father is a very rich and influential person at the Ministry and as such, would insist upon a thorough investigation into the matter. Memories can be tampered with or changed, so are frowned upon as evidence in any kind of trial. And even if your memories were used, you have said that your attackers were not recognizable. Veritaserum is not used on minors, unless their parents give permission and in this case, I have no doubt that Miss Hargrove's parents would not. And given the current climate and the fact that you are muggle-born and Miss Hargrove a pureblood," the headmaster paused for a moment and rubbed his forehead with his fingers, looking very tired for a moment. He took a deep breath and looked at Catherine. "The only outcome I can see would not be favorable to you."

"So like I said, she's going to get away with it," Catherine repeated, closing her eyes in defeat.

"There is always the possibility that you will remember something else," Professor Dumbledore offered. "Or I can still look at your memories of the attack."

"What would I need to do in order for you to do that?" Catherine asked, opening her eyes to look at him.

"Simply bring the memory to the forefront of your mind and I will extract it from you," the headmaster explained. "It will not hurt."

"But, even if I did that and you recognized some of the others, the Cruciatus is still on my wand," Catherine said and Professor Dumbledore merely nodded. "If it's all the same to you then, Professor, I'd rather not try and remember everything."

"As you wish, my dear," the headmaster said, giving her a sad smile. "I am very sorry to have to be the bearer of this news." He placed a gentle hand on her arm.

"It's all right," Catherine replied.

"No, it most certainly is not," he said with a sigh, echoing Madame Pomfrey's words from the night before. "If you do remember anything else, please, be sure to let me know." Catherine nodded dejectedly. "And Miss Powell, let me assure you that Miss Hargrove will be watched closely from now on. She will not attack you again." Catherine glanced up at him and saw the anger in his eyes and knew that she would be safe, at least from Celia. Albus Dumbledore was not the most powerful wizard in all of Britain for nothing.

"Thank you sir," she said and he squeezed her arm gently before walking briskly from the ward. Catherine lay back down in her bed and pulled the covers up to her chin. She rolled to her side, thinking about her attack again. It all made sense now that she'd discovered that Celia was the ringleader. Somehow Celia knew about Catherine and Sirius. And chances were that Avery and Wilkes, and probably Rosier, were involved as well. Unfortunately there was no way to prove it, but if there was one thing Catherine was determined to do, it was keep this information from Sirius. If only she could keep the entire thing from her parents as well. Catherine let a few tears leak from her eyes before exhaustion overcame her and she slept.


	14. Decisions and Despair

**A/N - Hello all! No Sirius here I'm afraid, but don't worry, he'll be back next chapter. I will be posting that on Friday as per usual, however, it will probably be later in the day as I will be out of town for the holiday. Happy Thanksgiving to all my US readers! And please let me know what you think! **

**Chapter 14**

**Decisions and Despair**

"Miss Powell," she heard a voice say and someone was shaking her arm. Catherine blearily opened her eyes and saw Professor Flitwick standing by her bed.

"Professor?" she said questioningly.

"I'm sorry to have to wake you, my dear, but I have just informed your mother of what happened. Your father is away on a business trip and will not return until tomorrow," he said and Catherine breathed a sigh of relief for one more day of freedom before her father found out. "However, your mother was much distressed and insisted on returning with me. She is waiting outside talking to Madame Pomfrey." Catherine sighed and closed her eyes.

"Thank you Professor," she said and pulled herself up to a sitting position just as her mother came into view.

"Catherine!" her mother exclaimed, as she gathered her daughter into a hug. "Thank god you're all right." Catherine relaxed into her mother's embrace and couldn't help it as the flow of tears started once again. She hadn't realized just how much she wanted her mother until now. "Oh sweetheart, it's all right, shh now, Mummy's here," Jane soothed, much as she had when Catherine was small and had fallen and skinned her knee or woken up from a nightmare. Catherine let her mother rub her back and kiss her head, feeling more and more comforted with every passing moment.

When her tears finally subsided, Catherine pulled back from her mother and smiled weakly at her. Her mother pulled a tissue from her handbag and wiped Catherine's face with it.

"Mum," Catherine protested. "I'm not three." But she smiled as she took the tissue from her mother and finished drying her own tears. She looked around the room and realized that both Madame Pomfrey and Professor Flitwick had left to give them some privacy, for which Catherine was grateful.

"Catherine, what on earth happened?" Jane asked.

"Didn't Professor Flitwick tell you?" Catherine asked, not really wanting to go through everything again.

"Well, yes, but I'm just, I can't believe," her mother shook her head. "You're at school for heaven's sake! I thought you said things were safe here." Catherine shrugged her shoulders.

"I said they were safe from You-Know-Who," Catherine replied. "I never said there weren't students here that acted like arses."

"Language, Catherine," her mother admonished. "And this is more than just a school yard prank and you know it."

"I know Mum," Catherine sighed.

"I want to know what's being done to these students," Jane insisted.

"Nothing," Catherine mumbled.

"What was that?" her mother asked. "It sounded like you said nothing."

"Because I did," Catherine admitted. "I don't know who did this, Mum. They wore hoods and disguised their faces so I couldn't see." She decided, for the moment, not to confess that she knew who one of her attackers was. It wouldn't make any difference anyway.

"But, this is a magical school," her mother blurted out. "Surely there are ways of finding out who it was." Catherine couldn't help but giggle.

"Magic can do a lot of things, Mum," she said. "But it can't do everything." Her mother shook her head and the two sat and talked quietly for a while until Madame Pomfrey approached her bed.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but it's time for another potion, Catherine," the medi-witch said, smiling at Catherine's mother. Catherine made a face as she was passed the potion vial. "You'll be happy to know it's the last one. Later this afternoon we'll get you back on your feet and see how you do."

"This afternoon?" Jane exclaimed. "But she just broke her leg yesterday!"

"Remember what I said about magic being able to do a lot of things?" Catherine asked and her mother nodded. "Well, healing is one of those things. My ribs are completely healed already." She drank the potion down and grimaced.

"Astonishing," Jane whispered.

"How long would it take to heal a broken leg with muggle medicine?" Madame Pomfrey asked curiously.

"A month at least, probably longer depending on what kind of break it was," Jane said and Madame Pomfrey gasped.

"A month? Why that's, that's," she trailed off, apparently unable to find a word suitable to describe her astonishment. "Goodness!"

"I know," Catherine said, smiling at the matron.

Catherine and her mother ate lunch together in the hospital wing. At one point, Catherine looked up to see Sirius standing in the doorway, but she shook her head violently and Sirius seemed to understand. He nodded and left and Catherine sincerely hoped he would return later on. Finally, her mother decided she should get home, sufficiently satisfied with her daughter's recovery.

"I'll be back tomorrow with your father, I expect," she said, as she kissed Catherine good-bye. Catherine looked up at her mother pleadingly. Her mother sighed. "I will try Catherine, but you know how he gets. And with everything that he found out this summer," her mother trailed off shaking her head.

"I know Mum," Catherine said sadly.

"Chin up," her mother said, squeezing her shoulder. "Rest well, I'll see you tomorrow. I love you Catherine."

"Love you too, Mum," Catherine replied as Professor McGonagall stepped into the ward.

"Ah, Mrs. Powell, how nice to see you again," the Professor said, shaking her mother's hand. "I only wish it were under more pleasant circumstances."

"Yes, you and I both," Jane replied.

"If you are ready, I will be happy to escort you home," Professor McGonagall said and her mother nodded.

"Goodbye sweetheart," her mother said, turning back to Catherine for a moment.

"Bye Mum," Catherine replied. Professor McGonagall nodded at her warmly and the two women left the hospital wing.

* * *

Catherine was indeed allowed to get out of bed later that afternoon and hobble around the ward a bit. Her leg felt weak, as if she hadn't used it for quite some time, although it really did not hurt. Still, it was nice to be able to walk to the loo on her own, instead of having the appropriate charms performed on her.

Sirius visited again that evening and once he was gone, Madame Pomfrey gave Catherine a dose of dreamless sleep and Catherine slept in blissful oblivion until morning. She opened her eyes and smiled at the sun shining through the windows. Madame Pomfrey had told her that she might be able to go back to her dorm this evening, if everything continued to go well with her concussion. Then her face fell as she realized her father would be here sometime today. Her mother had said he would be arriving home at lunchtime and she would tell him what had happened then. Professor McGonagall was going to collect the two of them in the mid-afternoon.

Catherine turned on her side and sighed, trying to think of what just to say to her father to keep him calm. Her injuries were no longer outwardly noticeable, at least. If he had been here when she was first attacked, Catherine knew she would have been instantly whisked away from Hogwarts without a second's hesitation.

Perhaps that was how she could convince him. Even though she had suffered multiple injuries, she had been almost completely healed in only two days. Her concussion was all that remained and even that was much improved, given the fact that Madame Pomfrey was able to give her the dreamless sleep the night before. Somehow though, Catherine didn't think the speed of her healing was going to matter all that much.

As she was brooding about what might happen later that day, the door to the ward opened. Catherine looked up to see Myra standing in the doorway.

"Catherine!" her friend exclaimed as she ran to Catherine's bed. Myra sat down on the edge and embraced her friend tightly. "I'm so sorry I didn't see you sooner," Myra said as she pulled away. "I didn't even know what happened until you didn't show up to breakfast yesterday. I thought you and Sirius just studied late and I was sleeping by the time you got back. I was frantic when you never came into the Great Hall and I went to Professor Flitwick to tell him you were missing. He told me what happened. I came by twice yesterday, but the first time you were sleeping and the second, I met Sirius in the hall and he told me your mum was with you."

"It's all right," Catherine said, smiling at her friend.

"Merlin, Catherine, I can't believe what the Professor told me," Myra continued, shaking her head. "Are you all right?"

"Mostly," Catherine replied. "I still have a concussion, but Madame Pomfrey says that I should be fine by tonight."

"What did your mum say?" Myra asked.

"She was upset at first, but I think she's just relieved that I'm all right," Catherine said.

"And your dad?" Myra asked, chewing on her lip in concern.

"He doesn't know yet," Catherine admitted. "He's on a business trip and he's not getting home until lunchtime. Professor McGonagall is going to go and bring them both here this afternoon."

"What do you think he's going to do?" Myra wondered.

"Yell, scream, maybe throw things," Catherine said shrugging her shoulder and Myra snorted. Catherine smirked a bit, but sobered quickly. "Actually he probably will do all those things." Myra looked at her sympathetically and squeezed her hand.

"I'm sure he'll be fine once he gets over the initial shock and calms down," she said.

"Somehow, I doubt that," Catherine replied, shaking her head. "But thanks for thinking so anyway."

The two sat and talked until Madame Pomfrey brought Catherine her breakfast tray.

"Well I'd better get to class," Myra said, standing from the bed. "I'll come back later on, shall I?"

"Sure, but if you hear yelling, you might want to turn around and run," Catherine quipped and Myra just gave her a sad smile before turning and walking from the ward.

Catherine ate her breakfast in silence, not having much appetite again as she imagined her father's reaction. Madame Pomfrey shook her head once again at the barely touched food tray and looked down at the dejected child in the bed.

"Miss Powell, you will never recover your strength if you continue to keep eating as little as you have been," the medi-witch admonished. Catherine simply shrugged and turned to her side, staring at the window across the room. She heard Madame Pomfrey sigh and then her retreating steps as she returned to her office. Catherine wondered if she could just run away. Maybe she could convince Sirius to come with her. He was of age, at least, and he had a house. They could live there together.

She banished the thought almost as quickly as it had come, however. She wouldn't ask Sirius to leave school just months before he was to take his N.E.W.T.s and graduate. She knew he was contemplating entering the Auror's program after James had announced that he was going to. And she knew that Remus was planning on living with Sirius. All the new anti-werewolf legislation that was being discussed would severely limit Remus' options for both a job and housing after school was finished, if the laws passed. She wouldn't force Sirius to choose between the two of them.

There was nothing for it, she supposed. She would just have to wait and see what her father decided. She still had a chance to convince him to let her remain at school. They had been getting along much better since the summer and she felt as if they were closer like they had been when she was little. Surely she would be able to talk some sense into him. Smiling a bit at her new-found optimism, her stomach growled and Catherine sat up and turned back to her tray of food which Madame Pomfrey had put a warming charm on to keep hot. Tucking into her breakfast, smile on her face, Catherine was no longer dreading seeing her parents that afternoon.

* * *

By that afternoon, however, Catherine's confidence began to waver. When Professor Dumbledore entered the hospital wing, she found herself once again on the verge of tears and it was only by sheer force of will that she allowed them not to fall.

"Professor McGonagall has just informed me that she and your parents have reached the gates of the grounds and are making their way to the castle," the headmaster said with a smile as he approached her bed. Catherine simply nodded, looking down at her lap. "Miss Powell, I am sure that I will be able to explain things to your parent's satisfaction. Please do not worry."

"Yes, sir," Catherine replied quietly. The door to the infirmary opened once again, but when Catherine glanced up she saw it was only Professor Flitwick. He nodded to her then approached Professor Dumbledore and the two began to converse in quiet tones. Madame Pomfrey came out of her office and ran a diagnostic over Catherine once more.

"Everything looks perfect," she said smiling. "I'll release you back to your dorm once your parents leave this afternoon. Catherine said nothing, continuing to stare at her hands in her lap. "Are you all right, dear?"

"I'm fine, ma'am, thank you," Catherine said, looking up and giving the medi-witch a watery smile.

"It will be fine, don't worry," Madame Pomfrey assured her, giving her shoulder a squeeze. And then there was a commotion at the door. Catherine could hear her father's voice, sounding as if he were arguing with someone. The professors and Madame Pomfrey looked up as the trio came through the door.

"Catherine," her father said as he rushed to her bed. "Are you all right?" he asked her gruffly as he looked her over.

"I'm fine Daddy," Catherine replied, hoping her smile was genuine. "Madame Pomfrey has taken good care of me."

"Thomas, I told you she was doing fine," Catherine's mother admonished, putting a hand on her husband's arm. "They healed her leg in only one day."

"It doesn't matter how quickly she recovered, Jane," Thomas retorted. "She never should have been injured in the first place."

"On that we most certainly agree, Mr. Powell," Professor Dumbledore said, stepping forward and holding a hand out to Catherine's father. "Albus Dumbledore, headmaster here at Hogwarts." Thomas begrudgingly shook the headmaster's hand. "Professor Flitwick, your daughter's head of house," Dumbledore continued, motioning to the Charms professor. "And Madame Pomfrey, our resident medi-witch and healer. You already know Professor McGonagall of course." Catherine's father greeted the other two staff members and then leveled a piercing gaze at Dumbledore.

"If we agree, then why was my daughter attacked in the first place?" Thomas demanded.

"Unfortunately, Mr. Powell, even children have minds of their own and no matter what rules and safeguards we have in place, we cannot control them every moment," Dumbledore looked contrite and a bit defiant all at the same time. Catherine wondered how he managed it.

"Look Professor, I know what's going on in your world," Thomas said. "I read your newspaper this summer and spoke to Catherine and Duncan and Fiona McKenzie. I allowed Catherine to return to school this year because I was assured by all three of them that she was safe from this You-Know-Who character and his Death whatever they're called. And yet here she is, sitting in your hospital wing."

"Dad, I'm fine," Catherine insisted. He simply glared at her, then turned his attention back to the headmaster.

"As Catherine was not attacked by Death Eaters or Voldemort, they were correct in the information they gave you," Dumbledore continued. "There are many safeguards in place and Voldemort would not be foolish enough to try and attack the school. He knows he would lose, badly."

"If there are all these safeguards in place, then why did my daughter end up nearly beaten to death?" Thomas demanded, his voice rising.

"Daddy," Catherine protested at the same time that Catherine's mother stepped forward and put a hand to her husband's arm.

"As I said, children have minds of their own," Dumbledore repeated, sadness in his eyes. "No one is more regretful than I, that I could not keep your daughter completely safe. However, I assure you that something like this will not happen again." Dumbledore's eyes had hardened and were filled with determination.

"Oh, I know it won't happen again because she's coming home with us," Thomas fumed, his mouth thinning into a tight line.

"Dad, no!" Catherine exclaimed.

"Thomas," Jane admonished.

"Mr. Powell, let us not be too hasty," Professor Flitwick chimed in.

"Indeed," Professor Dumbledore replied. "I'm sure we can come to an agreeable solution if we simply sit down and discuss this." He waved his hand and conjured six chairs and a small table. A snap of his fingers brought a house elf into the ward with a crack. Catherine had to cover a grin at the look on her parents' faces when the elf bowed to Dumbledore.

"Some tea and refreshments, Neddy, if you please," Dumbledore requested of the elf.

"Right away Professor Dumbledore, sir," the elf replied, then disappeared as quickly as she had come. Catherine's father stood goggling in the elf's wake, although her mother seemed to have recovered.

"What on _earth_ was that?" her father finally managed to splutter.

"That was a house elf," the headmaster replied. "They work here at the school and keep us all appropriately fed and watered." Dumbledore smiled. "I do apologize, Mr. Powell. One who spends so much time in the magical world sometimes forgets that which we take for granted, is something else entirely to those who are not familiar with it." He nodded his head politely, although Catherine thought that the Professor knew exactly what he was doing when he conjured the chairs and summoned the house elf. Her father merely grunted and allowed himself to be ushered to a chair.

A few moments later, two elves returned laden with trays. They arranged the tea service and trays of pastries on the table and then turned to the headmaster.

"Shall we's pour, sir?" Neddy asked, but the professor shook his head.

"That won't be necessary, thank you Neddy," Dumbledore replied and both elves bowed again and disappeared as Professor McGonagall picked up the tea pot and began to pour. "Ah, it seems I have forgotten a chair for Catherine," he said. Before he could wave his hand again, however, Madame Pomfrey put a hand on his arm.

"Headmaster, I believe Miss Powell should continue to rest," Madame Pomfrey said. "She should not be out of bed at the moment." Catherine's brow furrowed in confusion at the matron. Hadn't Madame Pomfrey just told her she could go back to her dorm this afternoon? But at the medi-witch's almost imperceptible shake of her head, Catherine smoothed her features and settled back against her pillows.

"Of course," Dumbledore replied, his eyes twinkling. "Miss Powell, would you care for tea?"

"No thank you, sir," Catherine said, positive she would not be able to keep anything down with her stomach roiling as much as it was.

"Now, Mr. Powell," Dumbledore continued, looking at her father. "If there are any questions that you have, please, feel free to ask them." The headmaster took a sip of his tea and looked serenely over the lip of his cup.

"The first thing I want to know is what is happening to the students that attacked my daughter," Thomas said, ignoring his own tea and crossing his arms in front of him. Catherine saw the slightest slip in the headmaster's serene expression.

"Unfortunately, the students involved were disguised and we have been unable to identify them," Dumbledore replied. Thomas sat in silence, but Catherine could see the vein in his temple beginning to throb.

"You mean to tell me, that after everything that has happened, my daughter will still have to go to school with these, these, thugs and not even know who they are?" Catherine's father demanded, his face going red.

"I assure you that if Catherine remembers anything else, I will not hesitate to punish the perpetrators to the fullest extent that I am able. Expulsion, in this case, would be in order, possibly a criminal trial as well," Dumbledore replied, his face calm in contrast to Thomas'.

"So even with all these 'powers' you have, you cannot figure out who did this?" Thomas spat, his face full of disgust.

"While magic can do many things, it is not infallible, sir," Professor McGonagall replied, her voice tight.

"Minerva," Professor Dumbledore said quietly and the Transfiguration professor looked away, her lips pressed tightly together. "What Professor McGonagall says is true, there are things we can do to prove guilt or innocence, however, we must have a starting point."

"Well I say line them all up and do whatever it is you need to do on everyone," Thomas retorted. "You'd have your answer soon enough."

"Surely you are not suggesting we subject hundreds of innocent students to the same treatment simply to catch the few guilty ones?" Professor Flitwick asked incredulously.

"And why not?" Thomas demanded.

"Thomas, calm down," Mrs. Powell said quietly and he turned and glared at her.

"Jane, our daughter was _attacked_!" Thomas thundered.

"Mr. Powell, while I know how upset you must be, I simply cannot do what you suggested," Professor Dumbledore said calmly. "I do not claim to be an expert, but I am sure that if a situation such as this had happened in a non-magical school, the entire student body would not be lined up and questioned. Even though they are children, they still have rights." Catherine's father jumped to his feet.

"What about my child's rights?" he roared. "Her right to walk about unmolested by others? To be safe at her own school? What about that?" Her father had gotten very close to the headmaster as he shouted the words and Catherine almost jumped from her bed to plant herself between the two. Professor McGonagall looked as if she had the same idea for she too rose from her chair and began to move before Dumbledore held up a hand to stop her. He slowly stood from his chair until he was eye to eye with her father.

"I am very sorry, Mr. Powell, for everything that happened to Catherine. It was senseless and despicable and should not have occurred. And I understand your concern and worry for your child. However, I cannot do as you ask. I hope that we can come to a mutually satisfying solution to ensure your daughter's safety from now on. Professor Flitwick and I have discussed a few possibilities that I think will do much to ease your fears." The headmaster stood and continued to look her father in the eye, the power almost radiating off of him. Catherine held her breath, waiting for her father's response.

"Thomas, please," her mother said, almost in a whisper and her father seemed to deflate in that moment. Her mother stood and took his hand, pulling him back to his chair. Catherine let out the breath, but as she studied her father, she knew that he had not changed his mind. The determined glint in his eye did more to convince her of his true feelings than in the seeming slump of his body.

"I want to know why Catherine was targeted in the first place," her father said, hard edge still in his voice.

"It seems, at this point, she was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time," Professor Dumbledore replied, sitting back down and picking up his cup. Catherine glanced sharply at the headmaster. This was not what they had discussed the day before. He knew that Celia had probably attacked her because of Sirius. Although, Catherine supposed, if he revealed that Catherine had specifically been targeted, then not only would he have to reveal the reason why, but also the fact that he knew the identity of one of her attackers.

"So she saw them doing something they shouldn't be then?" Thomas asked. "They did it to try and keep her quiet?"

"No, that doesn't seem to be the case," the headmaster said slowly.

"What then?" Thomas demanded. The headmaster sighed and glanced up at Catherine apologetically. She looked down at her lap, knowing that he would have to give her father some kind of answer. She felt the tears begin to gather at the back of her eyes.

"It appears that the students who did this do not appreciate the fact that we let children from non-magical families attend Hogwarts," Dumbledore said, once again meeting her father's gaze.

"I knew it!" he yelled, jumping up once more. "I knew this would happen. I should have listened to my instincts last summer." He began to pace around the ward, ignoring the quiet reproaches from Catherine's mother.

"The students do not appear to have sought her out," Professor Dumbledore continued. "As I said, it just seems she came upon them at an inopportune time."

"Inopportune?" Thomas said incredulously, staring at the headmaster. "You call what happened to my daughter inopportune?"

"I merely meant to convey," Dumbledore began, but Catherine's father cut him off.

"I know exactly what you meant to convey, sir," Thomas retorted, sneering a bit on the 'sir'. "And that makes absolutely no difference, as far as I am concerned. It is quite obvious to me that the only way to keep my daughter safe is to remove her from this school and take her home with me."

"No!" Catherine cried, all the blood draining from her face. Her father ignored her and continued to glare at the professors in front of him.

"Thomas, perhaps we should discuss this in private," her mother said but her father shook his head.

"There's nothing to discuss," he continued. "I've made my decision."

"Mr. Powell, I urge you to reconsider," Professor Dumbledore advised. "As you are privy to information about what has been going on in our world, surely you realize that Voldemort's influence is extending into the non-magical community as well as our own. There have been attacks on muggles as well as witches and wizards. There is no safer place for your daughter than here at Hogwarts."

"With all due respect, Headmaster," Mr. Powell continued. "My daughter wasn't safe here."

"But we plan to ensure that she is sir," Professor Flitwick spoke up. "I can assure you that she would have a guard with her at all times. A 7th year, of age and allowed to do magic in the corridors, as well as having been almost completely trained. Our 7th years are only a few months from graduating, Mr. Powell. They are skilled wizards and witches. And there will be more patrols in the corridors. All of the professors here were most distressed to hear about what happened."

"And wasn't the attack six on one?" Mr. Powell challenged. "Even with a guard those are still terrible odds. No matter what your assurances, I fail to see how she would be any less safe in her own home with her parents there to protect her."

"If you saw the Daily Prophet last summer," Dumbledore insisted, "then you realize that muggle-born witches and wizards are being attacked in their homes."

"Then it is time that she is no longer considered a muggle-born witch," Thomas said through gritted teeth. "And if I remove her from the school, she no longer will be."

"Daddy, please, you can't!" Catherine wailed. The tears began to roll down her cheeks.

"Yes, I most certainly can," her father said, rounding on her. "And that is exactly what I intend to do!"

"Mr. Powell," Dumbledore began, but Catherine's father whirled back around.

"Enough!" he bellowed. "I have made up my mind and nothing anyone can say will change it. Catherine is done with magic! Jane, help her collect her things, we're leaving." And with that he spun on his heel and swept out of the infirmary, the door banging shut behind him.

Catherine looked up at her mother while the tears ran down her face. She pleaded with her eyes, but her mother simply shook her head, looking sad. Catherine looked at the professors hopefully, but McGonagall simply looked stern and Flitwick just looked at her sadly. Professor Dumbledore approached her bed and took her hand in his.

"I'm very sorry, my dear," he said, the twinkle in his eye completely absent. In fact, his eyes looked suspiciously bright. "Please know that if you need help of any kind you can always contact me." Catherine could do nothing but nod as he turned and addressed her mother.

"Mrs. Powell, my sincerest apologies for what has happened to your daughter," he said. "I have failed in my duties and for that I do not expect forgiveness."

"Albus," McGonagall said in a chiding voice.

"No, Minerva, it is true," the headmaster said sadly.

"Thank you, Headmaster," Mrs. Powell said. "I don't blame you for this. And I apologize for my husband's abysmal behavior." Her cheeks were pink, but whether from anger or embarrassment, Catherine couldn't tell.

"He is merely worried about his daughter," Dumbledore replied. "If you would like, I can escort the two of you to Ravenclaw tower to collect Catherine's things."

"Headmaster," Madame Pomfrey said.

"Yes, Poppy?" he replied.

"I do believe that Miss Powell should remain in the infirmary for one more night," the matron said. Catherine looked up at this and the medi-witch glanced at her out of the corner of her eye. "Her concussion, you see. I would feel much more comfortable if I could observe her for one more night, just to be sure." Dumbledore's eyes began to twinkle once more as he smiled at Madame Pomfrey.

"Of course, Poppy," he said. "I'm sure that Miss Powell's parents would agree to whatever you think is best." He turned to Catherine's mother. "I could inquire about a room for you in the village if you like, or Professor McGonagall can return you to your home and bring you back tomorrow, if you prefer." Jane looked from the medi-witch to Catherine to the headmaster, confusion on her face, but she finally nodded.

"Let me speak with my husband," she said. "But I am sure he will want to return home."

"Whatever you wish," Dumbledore replied. "Poppy can get in touch with me once you've decided." Jane nodded and the headmaster vanished the chairs and table. "Filius, Minerva, let us give Catherine and her mother some privacy." The two professors nodded to Catherine and followed the headmaster from the room and Madame Pomfrey slipped back into her office.

"Mum," Catherine sobbed as her mother turned toward her. Jane sat down on the bed and took her daughter in her arms.

"I'm sorry sweetheart," she whispered into Catherine's hair.

"Can't you talk to him Mum? Please!" Catherine cried, hugging her mother tightly.

"It's gone beyond that Catherine," her mother said sighing. "He won't change his mind now." Catherine sobbed harder as her mother rocked her back and forth. "It will be all right," her mother soothed as Catherine's sobs slowly quieted into hiccupping breaths.

"No, it won't be all right," Catherine whispered. "It will never be all right again."


	15. Love and Promises

**A/N - Hello everyone! I hope all my US readers had a great Thanksgiving! Bittersweet chapter, but lots of fluff too, I promise. Thanks for the reveiws last chapter and if you feel so inclined, please let me know what you think. I know lots of people are reading which is awesome, but feedback is great too. :) **

**Chapter 15**

**Love**

**9 March 1978**

Catherine stood looking over the edge of the astronomy tower while she waited for Sirius. Myra had assured her she would deliver the note after their visit this afternoon. She and Myra had clung to each other and cried when Catherine had told her friend the news. Myra had insisted that her parents would talk to Catherine's father again, but Catherine had shaken her head, knowing it wouldn't do any good. Myra had promised to find a way to see her over the summer and Catherine had smiled and agreed, knowing it probably wouldn't happen.

Silent tears ran down her cheeks as she thought about not knowing when she would see Sirius again after tonight. Even having to hide their relationship, the last nine months had been more than she could have ever imagined. She couldn't believe that she was losing him, losing everything. Her anger at her father threatened to boil over once again, but she tamped it down, not wanting to ruin her last few hours with Sirius.

She heard a noise from behind her and spun around, her wand in her hand before she even realized she had done it. Sirius stepped out from the doorway and immediately put his hands up in front of him in a placating gesture.

"It's all right love, it's only me," he said as she tried to slow the rapid beating of her heart. He stepped slowly towards her, keeping his hands up in front of him, until she lowered her wand.

"Sorry," she said sheepishly. "I guess I'm still a bit jumpy, after," she trailed off, looking away from him.

"It was my fault," he said. "I should have said something so you knew I was here." She looked up at him and his brow furrowed at the expression on her face. "What is it?" he asked. Catherine simply looked at him, unable to speak, then walked forward and threw herself into his arms, sobbing onto his shoulder. He held her tightly to him, stroking her hair and placing soft kisses on her forehead and temple. When she had quieted, he tilted her chin up towards him.

"What's happened?" he asked concern on his face. "Did someone come after you again? Who was it?" His face was tightening in anger and Catherine shook her head.

"No, it's not that," she said, drawing in a hitching breath. She pulled back from him a bit, but he kept his arms around her.

"My parents were here," she said and he nodded. She sniffed loudly and took in another shuddering breath before continuing. "My dad, he was really upset about what happened, yelling at Professor Dumbledore about keeping the students safe and letting thugs into the school. And then he said," she broke off, the tears making a reappearance. Sirius reached up and cupped her face in his hands, brushing at the tears with his thumbs, but they were falling too quickly. She looked at him, anguish plain on her face and his heart clenched as realization dawned.

"Please, just tell me," he said quietly, staring at her.

"He's taking me out of school," she managed through her tears.

"Until when? After break?" Sirius asked. Easter break was almost a month away, but it wasn't so long, he supposed. Catherine looked up at him sadly and shook her head. "It can't be until the end of term, you'll miss O.W.L.S!" he exclaimed, but she just swallowed thickly.

"For good," she whispered and then wrapped her arms around his neck again. He rubbed her back automatically, but his mouth was hanging open in shock.

"But, but, he can't," Sirius sputtered, unwilling to believe what she had said. "He's just upset, he'll change his mind." But Catherine just shook her head.

"He didn't even want me to come back to school this year, you know that," she said. "It took Myra's parents and everything my mum had to convince him. But what happened to me was the last straw for him. He won't change his mind, not this time. He never really wanted me to come here in the first place. He thinks magic is," she paused, not exactly sure how to phrase it, "a waste of time."

"Surely the headmaster can convince him," Sirius said, "or Professor Flitwick."

"They tried Sirius," she sighed. "Professor Dumbledore tried to convince him that I was safer at Hogwarts than anywhere else, but after what happened, you can't really blame my father for not believing that. I mean, even after he saw the Prophet and he ordered me to explain things to him, he doesn't really know, not all of it. And Professor Flitwick offered to have someone with me at all times, a guard of sorts, but my father was having none of it."

"What did your mum say?" Sirius asked. Catherine shrugged.

"She tried to calm him down, but she couldn't," Catherine replied. "I don't think it was her idea to pull me from school, but she was upset about what happened and she told me she couldn't change his mind."

"But, if we figured out who it was that did it, maybe they would change their minds," Sirius said. "Dumbledore said they would be expelled."

"It won't matter Sirius," she said sadly. "There will always be someone else who feels the same way. There are some in my own house for Merlin's sake."

"Are you saying you want to leave?" Sirius asked incredulously, for she sounded almost resigned to what was happening.

"Of course not!" Catherine exclaimed. "How can you even ask me that?" Her eyes began to well with tears again.

"I'm sorry," he said, drawing her into his embrace once more. "I know you don't want to go. I just, I don't," he trailed off.

"I know," she said, her voice muffled in his chest. He tilted her head up towards him then and kissed her, slowly and deeply. Catherine gripped the front of his cloak in her fists, trying to keep herself anchored as her knees began to go weak. Sirius tangled one of his hands in her hair and the other grasped her around the waist, drawing her tight against him. She gasped and let go of his cloak, winding her arms tightly around his neck, even as he continued kissing her.

When they broke apart, both needing to breathe, Sirius began to pepper small kisses down the side of her neck, kissing the hollow of her throat. She drew in a hissing breath and he moved back to her mouth, the kisses growing more fevered. Finally, he stopped, resting his forehead against hers, both of them breathing heavily.

"It's nearly curfew," he said. "I should get you back to your tower." But neither of them moved and soon he was kissing her once more. She pulled away from him after a few moments and looked into his eyes.

"No," she said and he looked at her puzzled for a minute.

"Sorry?" he replied.

"No, I don't want you to take me back to my tower," she said, standing on tiptoe to kiss his cheek and then moving to his jaw.

"Cat," he growled as she traced his jawline with the tip of her nose. "Stop."

"Don't want to," she murmured, kissing his neck. Her arms went back around his neck, her hands grabbing fistfuls of his hair and gently tugging. He groaned and then grabbed her forearms, pulling her arms back in front of him and looking her in the eye.

"Stop," he said again, his gaze boring into hers, his eyes burning with desire.

"No," she said again, not flinching from his gaze. He stared at her for a minute more, then shook his head.

"We're not doing this," he said, moving her arms down to her sides. "Come on, I'll take you back to the tower." He turned toward the door and took a few steps, but she didn't follow. "Cat?" Catherine had turned away from him, the tears returning at his rejection. She could feel his eyes on her back and she tried to hide the shake of her shoulders. She heard him walk up next to her and he tried to take her hand, but she pulled away and turned her back on him once more. She heard him sigh and then felt his hands on her shoulders.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly, very close to her ear. Catherine tried to shrug him off, but he didn't let go, instead, put his arms around her and pulled her back against him. She stood stiffly for a minute, then leaned into him. "I'm sorry," he said again, kissing her cheek. She sniffled and brought a hand up to swipe across her face. He turned her in his arms and looked at her, but she couldn't hold his gaze and looked down at the floor. He put a finger under her chin and tipped her head up so she would look at him. The look in her eyes was one of self-doubt and embarrassment and Sirius cringed.

"Please, tell me what you're thinking," he said. She shrugged and her cheeks reddened.

"Don't you want to?" she asked, so quietly she wasn't sure if he could even hear her.

"Of course I do," he said. "Sweet Merlin, you don't know how much."

"Then why," she hesitated. "I know that I don't have much experience and you, well, you do, but," she trailed off, biting her lip and looking uncertain once again.

"Cat, I love you," he said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "And I want to be with you, but I know you're upset about leaving. I just don't think we should rush into anything that you don't really want to do, just because of that."

"I'm not," she insisted, stepping closer to him again. She kissed his neck again and he sighed, taking her arms in his hands once more.

"Catherine," he said quietly.

"Sirius," she returned, looking at him intently. He stared at her and she wondered if the fire she felt in her belly was in her eyes as well. He kissed her again and she thought sure that he would never stop, but then he did.

"Listen to me Cat," he said and despite her most valiant efforts, she couldn't stop the tears from returning once again. "I love you more than anything. But, I'm not going to let you make this decision when you're this upset."

"I'm not upset," she protested. In response, he simply brought a finger to her cheek and caught a tear on its tip, holding it up to her. When she looked away, he gathered her into his arms and hugged her tightly. She let him hug her for a moment and then pulled away, walking back to the wall around the tower.

She put her hands on the top of the stone wall and leaned forward against it. She was cold, but it didn't seem to matter much as she thought about what Sirius had said. No matter how much she knew he was right, it still felt like a rejection to her. She knew he'd been with other girls and she didn't understand why he was making such a fuss about being with her. Her despair at leaving was compounded by her imagined rejection from Sirius and she slowly slid down the wall until she was sitting on the stone floor. She drew her knees up to her chest and buried her face in them.

She heard Sirius rush toward her as she started to slide down the wall. He squatted next to her and ran a hand through her hair. When she didn't respond, he sat down and pulled her onto his lap. She stayed in her curled up position as he moved her, until one of his arms was around her back, the other pulling her legs toward him. She allowed herself to be uncurled and wrapped her arms around him, burrowing her face into his neck.

"I love you," he said, kissing her forehead and then her temple and then her cheekbone. She trembled as his warm lips trailed across her cold skin and he shifted, then waved his wand over the two of them. She was instantly warm and she snuggled deeper into his embrace. After a few minutes, he pulled her gently upright and put his hands on either side of her face.

"It's because I love you so much that I won't let you make this decision right now," he said. "I don't want you to ever regret being with me."

"I wouldn't," she insisted, but he shook his head.

"You don't know what's going to happen when you leave here," he replied, his voice quiet. "You might meet someone else, someone who you can see every day and who doesn't put you in danger. I don't want to take something that meaningful from you and have you regret that you can't give it to someone else." She put a hand to his cheek and looked into his eyes. There was anguish there and guilt and sadness, but determination as well.

"There will never be anyone else for me," she said with quiet conviction.

"You say that now, Cat, but you don't know what's going to happen. You," but she put a finger to his lips to stop him.

"No matter what my dad says or where he tries to send me. It's only going to be you. Always." She kissed him then, almost desperately, and he returned the kiss, tucking her head back under his chin once they broke apart.

"We'll find some way to be together," Sirius said. "I promise." She sighed and nodded. "Come on, I'd better get you back to the tower."

"No, please, just stay with me," she begged and he looked at her sadly.

"Cat," he began, but she interrupted.

"I don't mean that," she said, blushing a bit. "Just stay here with me and hold me. Please?"

"It's past curfew," Sirius protested. "Half the castle will be out looking for you soon."

"No they won't," Catherine said with an impish grin.

"What are you on about?" he asked, clearly confused.

"Everyone, except you and Myra, thinks that I'm still in the hospital wing," she said.

"But what about Madame Pomfrey?" he objected. "Surely she'll notice if the only patient in the ward goes missing."

"Nope, it was her idea," Catherine replied, giggling at the expression of shock on Sirius' face. "I think she felt sorry for me, because of how my father acted. She told my parents that I needed to stay in the infirmary for one more night because of my concussion, but she let me go as soon as they left."

"She helped you sneak out?" he said, incredulous. Catherine nodded, grinning widely.

"Of course, she thought I was going back to my dorm, but since no one there knows I'm supposed to be there, I don't see that there will be a problem," Catherine finished, her eyes dancing with mischief.

"I knew the Marauders were rubbing off on her," Sirius said, grinning himself. Catherine rolled her eyes. "It's cold up here, though," he continued. "We should go down to the study room instead."

"No!" she shouted, making Sirius jump. "No," she said again, more quietly. "I just, I can't." She shook her head, as her cheeks burned, one hand fisting into his cloak. He pulled her back against him and kissed her head.

"It's all right," he soothed. "I should have thought of that. I'm sorry." Catherine took in a breath, shuddering a little, as memories tried to force themselves to the forefront of her mind. Gripping Sirius more tightly, she closed her eyes and breathed deeply while he rubbed her back.

"I promise you, no one is going to hurt you again," he whispered, fierceness in his voice. She nodded and laid her head on his shoulder and they sat there in silence for a time. Sirius cast another warming charm on them after Catherine started to shiver again.

"Come on stand up," Sirius said, moving her off his lap and pulling her to her feet.

"I don't want to go," she protested.

"I know and we won't, I just want to keep you warmer," he replied. He shrugged out of his cloak and transfigured it into a thick quilt, spreading it down on the floor of the tower. Then he unfastened Catherine's and transfigured it as well. He sat down on the quilt, tugging her down with him and then wrapped the two of them in the second one. One more warming charm and Catherine sighed in comfort. She leaned against Sirius as he leaned back against the wall and they both looked up at the stars.

"I decided to go into the Auror program with James," Sirius said after a few moments. Catherine sat up and looked at him.

"You did?" she asked and he nodded.

"I had pretty much decided already, but after what happened to you," he shook his head, looking down at their clasped hands. When he looked back up, his face had hardened and his eyes were full of fury. "I want to stop him, Voldemort and his stupid, little followers. I will make things safe for you." She stared at him for a minute and then kissed him, until they were both breathless and lying down next to each other on the quilt. When she pulled away, she laid her head on his chest and he wrapped his arms around her. They lay there in silence for a bit, Sirius playing with her hair.

"You should get some sleep," he said.

"I don't want to sleep," she replied. "I don't know what's going to happen when I go home. I don't know if my father will even let me see you. He was so angry, Sirius. I've never seen him like that before."

"I think that finding out your daughter was nearly beaten to death might do that to a man," Sirius said, his own voice quivering with rage. She propped herself up on an elbow and ran a hand down his cheek.

"I'm fine," she said. "And I was never on my death bed." He took in a deep breath.

"I know," he said. "But still, I just, when I saw you right after, I thought," he stopped and shook his head and she pulled him to her, laying his head on her chest and running her fingers through his hair.

"I'm fine," she said again as he gripped her waist tightly. She kissed the top of his head and they lay there in silence for a few moments. Then he pulled himself up and looked at her.

"Do you really think he won't let you see me?" Sirius asked frowning. Catherine sighed.

"I don't know," she admitted. "The last thing he said before he stormed out of the hospital wing was 'she's done with magic'. I'm afraid that means he won't let me be around anything or anyone having to do with magic."

"We'll just have to keep seeing each other in secret, like we have been then," Sirius said, shrugging his shoulders.

"It's one thing to do that here," Catherine replied. "It won't be so easy when I'm back at home."

"Cat, I'm about to graduate," Sirius reminded her. "Remus or I can bring you to the house any time you want. And you'll be of age in a year. It's not that far away." But Catherine shook her head.

"Sirius, muggles don't come of age until they're 18, I've got two more years until that happens," she said. "As for me coming to see you whenever I want, just where will I tell my parents I'm going? My father knows how upset I am about leaving, I'm sure he's going to be watching me pretty closely. I don't have any friends at home anymore and I'm pretty sure if my father intends to cut off all contact with the magical world that would include Myra. I can't just up and leave for an afternoon or an evening." Sirius swore under his breath. She was right of course.

"We'll just have to hope he changes his mind when he calms down then," Sirius said. "We'll figure something out." She brought a hand back to his cheek, tears sparkling in her eyes again.

"Thank you," she said softly, kissing him.

"For what?" he asked.

"Loving me," she replied. He smiled and kissed her again and then pulled her down to lie on his chest once more. He ran a hand up and down her arm as she pulled the quilt more tightly over them.

"You're right though, I will be17 in less than a year," Catherine said, after thinking for a few minutes. "I could leave home then, get a job somewhere, maybe in Hogsmeade or Diagon Alley at one of the shops. I know I won't have finished school, but you could teach me anything else I need to know. Or maybe Remus. I've still got some pocket money left, you could put it in your vault and save it for me. Maybe I can find a cheap place to live."

"You'll live with me," he said, interrupting.

"With you?" she said, sitting up and looking at him incredulously.

"Only if you want to. You can have your own bedroom. I wouldn't expect you to, well, I mean," Sirius began to stumble over his words and Catherine leaned down and kissed him soundly. When she pulled back, Sirius was smiling at her and she lay back down next to him, her head back on his chest. "I take it that's a yes then?" She just smacked his arm playfully.

"What about Remus?" she asked.

"Remus won't mind and the cottage is plenty big for the three of us," he explained. She propped her chin on his chest and looked at him.

"Are you sure you want me there?" she asked and he rolled his eyes.

"What kind of question is that?" he replied and she looked sheepish for a moment, then lay back down beside him. "Are you sure you want to leave your mum and dad? If muggles don't come of age until they're 18, you probably won't be able to go back until then." She shrugged against him.

"To be perfectly honest, I don't really want much to do with my father at all right now," she said, anger hardening her voice. "I would miss my mum, but it's only for a year. Once I'm 18 they won't have anything to say about it." The two fell silent again and Catherine felt the emotions of the day catching up with her and she yawned.

"Sleep, love," Sirius whispered, kissing the top of her head. "I won't let you go, I promise." She nodded and yawned again.

"Love you," she mumbled as she closed her eyes and began to drift, smiling as she heard him tell her that he loved her too. A year. It wasn't that long at all.

* * *

**July 1993**

Catherine awoke slowly, taking a moment to realize she was in her own bed and not on the top of the Astronomy tower. She sighed, not surprised that she had dreamt about those particular events, her hand going unconsciously to her ribs. She had known when she went to bed that it was coming, especially after all that she had remembered.

She stood up and went to the window in her room, sitting down on the window seat and leaning her head against the glass. It was not quite dawn, just as it had been when Sirius had gently shaken her awake on top of the Astronomy tower. She could still feel the despair she felt that day, once she had awoken and realized it was morning and she had immediately begun to cry again. After a few minutes she had managed to compose herself and after two quick disillusionment charms they had made their way back into the castle.

Sirius had taken her to Gryffindor Tower first and left her in the common room while he had run up to his dorm. He returned with a small square mirror. Magical mirrors, he told her, that he and James had used to talk to each other during detentions. He'd nicked James' and given it to her, then recharmed it, telling her she could use it whenever she wanted to talk to him. And then she'd proceeded to snog him until they heard movement in the dorms above.

Sirius had then walked her back to the hospital wing, a disillusionment charm only on himself. While Catherine was quite sure that Madame Pomfrey was not so naïve as to assume that Catherine had not been with Sirius the night before, she didn't intend to advertise the fact that she hadn't spent the night in her dorm. After kissing him one last time, Catherine crawled into her bed and had cried into her pillow until her parents arrived to get her.

Shaking herself from her reverie, Catherine stayed in the window, knowing that sleep would not be returning that night. The pain of being forced to leave school had dulled over the years and she hadn't felt such regret about it for quite some time. She wondered, not for the first time since Ellie had gotten her letter, if she could somehow finish up her schooling. Perhaps she could even take her O.W.L.s. She had been so close to finishing her fifth year and regardless of the fifteen year absence, the more she thought about it, the more she remembered. She was sure that with a few months of study, she could probably do it. Although study would require access to a library or bookstore at the very least, something she wouldn't find anywhere near her neighborhood.

Now that the Ellie was starting at Hogwarts and Rory and Miranda were sure to follow, Catherine thought about reentering the magical world and staying there. Not that she would move, she still wanted Rory and Miranda to continue at primary school until they went off to Hogwarts and she knew she would never leave unless her mother agreed to come with them. But perhaps she could get a magical job instead of going full-time with the publishing house, as she had planned. Her thoughts from the past about getting a job in Diagon Alley came back to her.

She had lived in fear for so long and since then had been simply trying to survive, that Catherine hadn't really given much thought to what she would do once the children started at Hogwarts. But perhaps now was the time to do so. She thought about what she had told Sirius once, about wanting to be a Healer. It was still something that interested her and before Ellie's birth, she had been majoring in medicine at university. Catherine tucked away the thought, deciding to try and do some investigating while they were in Diagon Alley in a few days. At the very least she could send an owl to St. Mungo's for more information.

Feeling lighter than she had in days, Catherine turned back to the window and watched the sunrise. So caught up in her earlier decision, she didn't even see the last memories coming until it was much too late.

* * *

**31 August 1978**

Catherine sat in her room in the window seat, arms wrapped around her knees, rocking back and forth. She should be packing her trunk, searching her room for all the last minute things she had forgotten and triple-checking her summer homework. Tomorrow, she should be boarding the Hogwarts Express and searching for Myra and Sharon and Elena. She should be stuffing herself at the feast and watching the sorting and looking forward to her N.E.W.T. level classes. But here she was, looking at a small stack of notebooks and pens instead of parchment and quills, jeans and a shirt instead of her uniform and robes and worst of all, no wand.

When they had arrived home in March, her father had allowed her to remove her clothes and personal items from her trunk and then put the trunk back into the boot of the car. He'd inspected everything she had taken out and Catherine had been grateful she had thought to put the mirror in the pocket of her jeans before they left. She was wearing her locket too, underneath her jumper, although without her wand she wouldn't be able to use the charm on it. At least she still had the pictures inside. After he'd put her trunk back into the car, her father had driven away. Catherine had asked her mother where he was going with it, but her mother had just shaken her head and led her daughter inside. Catherine hadn't seen any of her school things again.

Now, she had tried to reach Sirius on the mirror for the last hour, but to no avail. She knew he was busy, but it still hurt that he wouldn't realize what a terrible day tomorrow was going to be for her. She had cried for most of the day, begged her father again to change his mind and spent the rest of the afternoon and evening railing against him. She had been rude and condescending, accusatory and hateful by turns, but her father had said nothing. This, to Catherine, was almost worse. He should be yelling back or punishing her for the way she was speaking to him, not making her feel like this was almost as hard for him as it was for her.

Because it wasn't, could never be, as hard for him as it was going to be for Catherine. When she had come home in March, her parents had gotten her a tutor instead of sending her to school right away. Her father had wanted to see just where she was academically, to ensure that she would be able to handle the work. Then there was the matter of school records. Catherine's father had told everyone that she had been attending a private boarding school in France. Since they obviously could not send school records from Hogwarts, a story about a fire and destroying of all of Catherine's records had been invented. Her new school had requested placement tests instead.

That summer, her mother had tried to get her involved with some of the kids she had known from primary school, but Catherine refused when she could and barely spoke when she was forced to see someone. Eventually, everyone came to the conclusion that she felt she was better than everyone else after having gone to school in France and Catherine was going to begin the school year completely alone.

She found, though, that she didn't much care, as long as she could continue to talk to Sirius and Myra. While her father had let Galena go the day they'd come home from Hogwarts, the owl never strayed far and Catherine was usually able to find her in the park somewhere when she wanted to send a message. She had even seen Myra once. Myra's parents had gone to France to visit her oldest sister and left Myra home with Maggie. Maggie, sympathetic to Catherine's plight, had allowed Sirius to floo to their home and then apparate Myra to the park to see Catherine. The two girls had spent an entire afternoon together sitting in the woods and talking.

Catherine had seen Sirius a few times, but never for very long. Auror training had been fast-tracked because of the war and the need for more Aurors. The new recruits were training 12-15 hours a day instead of the normal eight and Sirius was doing something for Professor Dumbledore on top of it. He wouldn't say much to Catherine about it, save that they were helping with the war effort and that they weren't bound by the same rules as the Aurors were. She tried to be satisfied with their frequent talks, but she longed for him to kiss her and hold her like he used to. Still, February was now only five months away.

She had heard from Remus a few times as well, the two talked on the mirror when Catherine called and Sirius wasn't home. Remus was working for the headmaster as well, although he seemed to be doing more than Sirius. It made sense though, since he had been unable to find a job as of yet. He was worried about Sirius, he told Catherine. Sirius wasn't sleeping well, the things that he saw during training, as well as his missions for Dumbledore, hitting him hard. Remus thought it was to do with the fact that Sirius knew most of the perpetrators, having grown up in pureblood society. Some of them were from his own family and many others he had known since he was a baby. Nightmares were common.

Whenever Catherine thought about this, she felt guilty for being so upset about her own predicament. Certainly what Sirius was dealing with was much, much worse that having to go to a different school for a few months. She wanted to take him in her arms and comfort him as he had for her so many times. Sighing, she tried the mirror again, but it stayed silent just as it had been all night, neither Sirius nor Remus answering.

There was a soft knock at her bedroom door and then her mother entered. Catherine glanced toward her, then looked back out the window. While she had been much less angry with her mother since coming home, tonight was different.

"Are you all ready for tomorrow?" her mother asked and Catherine simply shrugged. Her mother sighed and came and sat down at the other end of the window seat. "Catherine, I know you're upset that you're not going back to Hogwarts, but please try and make this work." Catherine said nothing, just continued to look out the window. She could feel her mother watching her, but Catherine refused to look at her. Finally her mother stood and rested a hand on top of her head.

"Your father and I are going to bed. Don't stay up too late," her mother said and leaned down and kissed the top of Catherine's head. Catherine couldn't help the tears that sprang to her eyes. She heard her mother leave the room and close the door behind her and then a few moments later, heard the click of her parents' bedroom door. Catherine sat staring out the window, a few tears making their way down her cheeks. After a few minutes, she hastily wiped the tears from her face and stood, feeling stifled all of a sudden, as if she needed fresh air. She quietly opened her door, turning off her lamp first so as not to flood the hallway with light. Seeing that the line under her parents' door was dark, Catherine quietly made her way down the stairs and out the front door. She walked quickly to the park, for some reason feeling as if she needed to be there.

When she reached the park, it was deserted. Not that she had expected anyone there this late at night, especially the night before school was to start. She wandered past the swings and the slide and sat down on a bench near the seesaw. Drawing her knees up to her chest, she rested her cheek on them and looked out into the darkness.

Only a few seconds later, she heard the unmistakable crack of apparition and her head whipped around to the copse of trees at the back of the park. Cursing herself under her breath for not bringing anything that she could possibly use as a weapon, Catherine slid off the bench and knelt down on the ground, hoping she would blend in with the darkness. She heard a small rustling and then what sounded like a twig breaking before a figure came stumbling out of the woods. She squinted and as the person came closer she realized who it was.

"Sirius?" she said as she stood. He spun towards her, raising his wand as he did so, but stopped when he saw it was her. She began to walk towards him and it wasn't until she was within a few feet that she saw the wild look in his eyes. His clothes were disheveled and as she got closer, there looked to be a spot of blood on his cheek. He looked right at her, but Catherine was unsure if he actually recognized her or not.

"Sirius, what happened?" she asked, right in front of him now. "Are you hurt?"

"What?" he asked, seemingly in a daze.

"Your cheek, there's blood on it," Catherine said. He brought a hand up and touched his cheek with his fingertips. Looking at it in confusion, he shook his head.

"It's not mine," he said. Then he looked at his fingertips, his eyes wide, but glazed. "Not mine," he whispered and then he pulled in a gasping breath and a gut-wrenching sound tore from him, the likes of which Catherine had never heard before. Catherine stood stock-still for a second, terrified that something had happened to Remus or Myra or even James or Lily. Looking back at his ravaged face, she knew no information would be forthcoming for the moment and she pulled him into her arms. She managed to pull him back into the copse of trees before he sank to his knees. She went with him, holding onto him as tightly as she could.

Sirius looked up at her, his expression crazed. He searched her face for a moment and then brought his lips crashing down on hers. His hands tangled in her hair, almost painfully, but she did nothing to stop him, pouring out all the love she had for him into the kiss. He pulled away from her mouth, but pulled her more tightly to him, kissing her neck and her face, one hand sliding under the hem of her top. She sucked in a breath and he stopped, looking at her. His face was tormented, anguish and horror in equal measure. She wanted again to ask him what had happened, what he had seen that had made him this way, but she couldn't. She found that she was afraid of what the answer would be. So instead, she kissed him again and after he pulled away once more, tears were glistening in his eyes.

"Please," he whispered. "I need," he broke off, shaking his head and making to stand, but she pulled him back down and took his face in her hands.

"Love me," she said simply. He stared at her for a moment and she could tell he was having some kind of inner battle with himself. Then he leaned down and kissed her once again. And they were lost in a tangle of limbs and skin, lips and hands, and nothing else mattered except the two of them, in that moment.


	16. Broken

**A/N at end of chapter.**

**Chapter 16**

**Broken**

**31 August 1978**

A while later, they lay wrapped in Sirius' robes, Catherine's head on his chest. But, she could tell by the way he was holding his body that he wasn't relaxed and she propped her chin on his chest.

"Sirius, was it," she stopped and took a deep breath. "Is everyone all right? Remus, Myra?"

"Yes, they're all fine," he replied, looking off into the distance. She breathed a sigh of relief.

"Will you tell me then? What happened?" she asked and he sighed and scrubbed a hand down his face.

"I don't think I can," he said quietly, guilt clouding his eyes now. She furrowed her brow at him, not expecting that particular emotion. Before she could say anything, he sat up, shrugging her off of him in the process. "You should get dressed," he said. "I'll walk you home." He turned from her as if to give her privacy, but she didn't move.

"Sirius, what's going on?" she asked as he stepped into his trousers and pulled on his shirt. He shook his head.

"This shouldn't have happened," he replied, still not facing her. She swallowed thickly at that and looked at the ground, her cheeks coloring. Still wrapped in his robes, she pulled her knees up and wrapped her arms around them. She felt the tears prick the back of her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. She heard Sirius turn around and heard a whispered, 'bloody hell' under his breath, before he was sitting down next to her and pulling her into his arms. She held herself stiffly, refusing to relax into him.

"I'm sorry, love," he said quietly. The term of endearment broke the last of Catherine's resolve and she felt the tears escape. "Please don't cry," he begged before kissing her cheek and her temple, trying to turn her to capture her lips.

"Don't," she said dully, standing with his robes wrapped around her. "Just stop it, please." Her voice was a whisper. "I just, I can't take it, not today. Please."

"Can't take what?" he asked, clearly puzzled.

"I can't take you leaving me today," she said, her voice starting to shake. "Not when I'm losing everything else. I can't take losing you too, not today." He looked bewildered for a moment, then swore again under his breath and tried to take her in his arms. But she took a step back to avoid him.

"Cat, please, I'm sorry," he said holding out a hand to her. "I shouldn't have said what I did. That's not what I meant."

"You said you didn't want to be with me," she whispered, ignoring his hand and clutching her middle. "You said it was a mistake."

"No, that's not what I said," he replied, stepping towards her once again. "I just didn't want it to happen like this." But she shook her head.

"You said it shouldn't have happened," she insisted. "You don't," she choked on the words. "You don't want me." Then she turned her back on him and ran further into the trees. She stumbled and tripped over the hem of the robes and heard him chasing after her, calling her name. Blinded by her tears, she didn't see the jagged stone poking up out of the ground until her foot was on it. Crying out, she fell onto her knees, hissing in pain. Sirius was upon her then and he picked up her and swung her into his arms, carrying her back to the clearing they had just been in.

He set her down on the ground and pulled out his wand, cleaning and then healing the cut. Her tears had stopped now, she was looking down at her hands in her lap. When Sirius had finished with her foot, he took one of her hands in his and nudged her chin up with the other.

"Listen to me," he said quietly, staring into her eyes. "I love you. I want you, always, more than you can ever imagine. I wanted to be with you, but I didn't want it to happen like this. I wanted it to be special, not on the ground of some ruddy park with sticks and leaves in your hair." At that he reached up and disentangled a twig from her curls. "I wanted you to be of age and have made the decision on your own. I didn't want it to be because I was desperate to feel something good, something other than what I was feeling when I got here. I wanted to forget about the horror I saw tonight," his voice cracked and he cleared his throat before continuing. "I was selfish and that's what I meant when I said it shouldn't have happened. I used you to make myself feel better and that is inexcusable. Especially for the first time." He shook his head and stood, walking away from her. She watched him rake a hand through his hair and heard him mutter under his breath, knowing he was berating himself. And then she stood and went to him, pulling his arm so he would turn around and face her.

"You didn't use me," she said and he shook his head opening his mouth to protest. "Or if you did, it's nothing more than what I did to you." He looked at her confused. "I've been a wreck all week, even more so today. I'm supposed to be getting on the train tomorrow, Sirius, but instead, I'm being forced to go somewhere I have no desire to be, with people I have no desire to see. I needed you tonight, almost as much as you needed me and I don't regret what happened or where it happened or why it did. I wanted to be with you, please don't tell me that was wrong."

"It wasn't wrong, love," Sirius replied, kissing her softly. "Merlin knows how much I want you. I just wish it had happened differently." He kissed her again and then tucked her head under his chin. They stood there for a few moments until Catherine looked up at him again.

"Will you tell me now?" she asked, bringing a hand to his cheek. He looked haunted for a moment, then wrapped his arms around her and pulled her tightly to him.

"I went out on patrol with Mad-Eye," he began. "We got a call and when we got there the house was burning. We went in and tried to save them, tried to put the fire out, but it was too late. There were children there. They were just babies, Cat. Babies," he whispered the last word, too choked up to continue.

"Do you know who they were?" she asked, when he had composed himself enough to speak. He nodded.

"I don't know if you know him, he was in my house and he was much younger than us, Brian Fielding." She shook her head, not recognizing the name. "He was only a second year, going into third. He was actually in that group of Gryffindors we almost ran into on your birthday." She nodded at the memory. "He was the oldest in his family. He had three younger sisters, the littlest couldn't have been more than two. His father worked at the Ministry, but his mum was a muggle. What they did to those girls." He shuddered and gripped her tightly again. "I can't, I don't want to say anymore." Catherine just nodded, tears in her own eyes. They stood holding each other until Sirius finally pulled back from her.

"I should get you home," he said, kissing her softly. She clung to him and he deepened the kiss, pulling her against him. They kissed for a long while and then she stepped back, looking into his eyes.

"Take me home with you," she said, looking at him with conviction.

"I can't, your parents," he protested.

"I don't care about them or school or anything else but you," she replied. "Please, I just, I need you. You can bring me back before dawn." He looked at her for a few moments, then gathered up her clothes which were still lying on the ground. Wrapping his arms around her, he kissed her and then turned, taking them both away from the pain and the hurt to simply be together.

* * *

**1 September 1978**

The next morning Sirius apparated her back to the park just as the sun began to rise. Before they left the protection of the trees, he kissed her once more.

"You'd better disillusion yourself, just in case," Catherine said.

"In case of what?" he asked.

"In case my dad is standing at the front door with a shotgun," she deadpanned and he gaped at her.

"A shot what?" Catherine couldn't help but giggle.

"Never mind, he doesn't really have one anyway," she said. "I'll explain it to you another time." She took his hand before he spoke the charm and then walked with him until they were a few houses away from hers. "I'll go the rest of the way by myself," she assured him. "I love you."

"I love you too," he replied. "I'll mirror call tonight, see how your first day was." She simply nodded, because otherwise she would break down in tears again, and let go of his hand. Turning, she walked dejectedly back to her house, silently opening the front door and letting herself in. Just as she had reached the stairs, she heard a throat clearing to her right. Sighing, she turned to the kitchen and saw her father sitting at the table, a cup of tea in front of him.

"Where have you been?" he asked, entirely too calmly as far as Catherine was concerned.

"Just out walking," she replied.

"For how long?" he questioned. Catherine debated on her answer, but not knowing how long he'd been up, she simply shrugged.

"All night I guess," she said. She saw the muscles in his jaw tense and waited for the explosion. Surprisingly, it didn't come.

"You walked around all night," he said tightly. "Why?"

"I had a lot to think about," she said evenly, shrugging again.

"You had things to think about which forced you to leave the house in the middle of the night?" She watched her father struggle with his temper and knew that he was very close to the edge. While some part of her warned her against it, Catherine just wanted him to _do_ something.

"Yes well, you took me away from my school and all my friends. Oh and magic, don't forget about that. You took that away from me too. So yes, I had a lot to think about," she finished, her voice oozing with contempt. Her father's face turned red and he gritted his teeth. "Go ahead Daddy, yell at me. Trust me, no matter what you say, it's not going to be as bad as what you've already done to me." She watched in fascination as he seemed to instantly deflate at her last words. His face drained of all color and he gripped his tea cup more tightly in his hands.

"Go and get ready for school," he said gruffly, then stood and carried his cup to the sink. Catherine stood and gaped after him for a moment, then fled upstairs into her room, slamming the door behind her.

* * *

**30 September 1978**

"So how was school today?" Sirius asked on the mirror. Catherine just made a face and stuck out her tongue.

"Why do you ask me that all the time?" she responded. "I always give you the same answer."

"Same face too," he quipped, smiling. She rolled her eyes.

"How was Auror training today?" she asked in kind and he laughed.

"Actually, I've got something to show you," he said and he pulled his wand from his pocket. "Hold on a second, I have to put the mirror down." She heard him set it down and got a view of his bedroom ceiling while she heard him say something. Then he picked the mirror up and she had to close her eyes as he swooped it back in front of him.

"Are you trying to make me sick?" she asked, her eyes still closed and her stomach rolling.

"Sorry, love," he chuckled. "Now open your eyes." She did and her mouth fell open at what she saw. While it was still Sirius in the mirror, he now had short brown hair and blue eyes. He smiled widely at her expression. "Glamour charms," he said at her incredulous expression. "We've just learned how to do them. Some of the Aurors can change their entire facial structure, but all I've managed are the hair and the eyes so far."

"That's brilliant!" she exclaimed, smiling now. "Will you teach me?"

"Sure, next time I sneak you away," he said, waggling his eyebrows at her. She just shook her head at him. "What are you doing this weekend?" he asked.

"Well, let me consult my bulging social calendar," she replied, pretending to pull something toward her. "Let's see, a little bit of nothing, then some studying, more nothing and then even more nothing. Oh wait here's something. Nope, my mistake just more nothing and then we'll top it off with a big dose of, yep, you guessed it, nothing." He was chuckling by the end of her diatribe. "Glad I can keep you amused," she said dryly.

"Well, I was thinking," he said. "What if a certain someone from your new school asked you out on a date?" She snorted.

"The day someone from my school asks me out on a date is the day my dad lets me go back to Hogwarts," she replied. "In other words, never."

"Only six months gone from Hogwarts and already you've forgotten," he said, shaking his head.

"Forgotten what?" she asked, completely confused.

"Spells, magic, what I just showed you?" he reminded her.

"Wait, are you telling me," she paused, looking at him, refusing to hope he meant what she thought he meant. "Are you telling me that you want to glamour yourself and pretend to be someone from my school so you can take me on a date?"

"There's that old Ravenclaw intelligence I know and love," he said cheekily.

"Sirius, don't joke about this," Catherine said, her voice breaking.

"I'm not joking, love," he promised. "I think it could work and you keep talking about taking me to the muggle cinema. And I do want to meet your parents, even if I'm not actually meeting them as me." Tears were beginning to run down Catherine's cheeks now. "Don't cry, Cat. This is a good thing, isn't it?" She could only nod, wiping her tears away with the back of her hand.

"Besides, I've heard those cinemas are rather dark. Good for snogging," he said grinning. She giggled at him and wiped away the last of her tears.

"Well, we've got to think of a proper muggle name for you," Catherine said, cocking her head and studying him. "Hm, I think, Henry."

"Henry?" he asked, frowning. "Sounds like a ponce." Catherine couldn't help but laugh. "Well, Henry it is then. Last name?"

"Better go with something safe like Walker," she said. "There are loads of them around here, so if my parents ask if you're related to one of them you can say no and they won't think anything of it."

"Okay, then, Henry Walker. I'll come round on Saturday at six," he said.

"But the cinema's too far to walk to," she said.

"So we'll apparate," he replied, shrugging his shoulder. Catherine sighed.

"Sirius, muggles don't apparate," she said slowly, as if she were talking to a very small child.

"Oh, right," he said, brow furrowing in concentration. "Well what's around there that we could walk to?"

"There's a café a few blocks away," she said.

"All right then, we'll say we're going to dinner, but I'll apparate us to the cinema," Sirius said. "Problem solved." She smiled in spite of herself. She would just tell her parents that Henry didn't drive yet and hope that her father didn't offer to drive them himself.

"Saturday then," she said.

* * *

Sirius took her out a few times over the next month, her parents none the wiser. Sometimes they actually went out, other times, when Remus was gone, Sirius apparated them right to the cottage and they spent the evening there alone. School was almost bearable now that she had regular dates with 'Henry' to look forward to.

The end of October, however, saw a spike in death eater activity and Sirius was working constantly, for both the Aurors and Dumbledore. She rarely had a mirror call from him, let alone an actual visit. Every time she actually did manage to talk to Sirius, he wasn't himself. The calls were short and he seemed distracted. She was sure it was the war and all that was going on, but when he told her he finally had a day off one week, she asked him if he wanted to come and pick her up. He told her he was just going to sleep all day. Disappointed, but trying not to let it bother her, she told her parents that 'Henry' had found someone else.

February was creeping slowly closer and Catherine was beginning to ready herself to leave home. She wasn't having second thoughts, exactly, but Sirius' behavior lately made her wonder if he still wanted her to come and live with him. Catherine had been putting money away ever since she had gotten home. She had quite a bit saved up from doing odd jobs for neighbors during the summer and her parents gave her pocket money which she never spent since she didn't go anywhere. Even if Sirius didn't want her to move in with him anymore, she knew she could get a flat of her own as long as she could find a job as well.

By the end of November, Catherine was feeling more and more rejected. Sirius rarely spoke to her, Remus normally being the one to answer if she could get in contact at all. Remus was evasive when Catherine asked about Sirius, always saying he was just busy with work or out doing something for Dumbledore. One night in early December, Catherine had finally had enough.

"Where is he Remus?" she demanded when the other Gryffindor answered the mirror after Catherine had tried to call three times.

"He's, out," Remus replied, not making eye contact with her.

"Out where?" she asked, fuming now. Remus sighed and ran a hand down his face.

"He's out with James," Remus admitted. "The two of them went to the pub." Catherine sat very still. She shouldn't be upset about this, she knew that. James was Sirius' best mate, the two of them worked together and they were probably just out trying to relax from the difficulties of their job. She remembered how Sirius had been that night in August, the things he'd seen after the Death Eater raid. But still, she was hurt. He could have at least called and spoken to her for a bit before he left with James.

"Okay," was all she said.

"Catherine, I," Remus began, but Catherine shook her head.

"It's fine Remus," she replied. "Just tell him that I called, all right?" Remus nodded and the mirror went blank. Catherine lay down on her bed and drew her knees up into her chest. She pulled the locket out from under her jumper and ran her thumb over the front.

"Sirius," she whispered, as a tear ran down her cheek.

* * *

**15 December 1978**

Catherine plopped her school books down on her desk and sighed. She was glad it was the Christmas holidays, but irritated that some of her teachers had assigned them so much homework. Lying down on her bed, she pulled her mirror from beneath her pillow. It had been silent for almost two weeks now, ever since she had spoken to Remus. She hadn't tried to contact Sirius, nor he her. She ran a finger over the smooth surface, wondering if she should try again. She wasn't angry with him anymore, not really. She just wanted to talk to him more than anything.

She glanced at the clock and realized that he probably wasn't home from work yet, in any case, and set the mirror down on her desk. Smelling the unmistakable aroma of sugar biscuits, Catherine smiled and went down the stairs for a snack.

When she entered the kitchen, her mother was hard at work at the counter, measuring and mixing. The oven timer dinged and Catherine grabbed a hot pad from next to her mother and took out the pan of hot biscuits.

"Catherine," her mother said, startling a bit as her daughter came up behind her. "I didn't hear you come in."

"I can see why," Catherine replied, smirking. There was a streak of flour across her mother's cheek and her apron was splattered with dough and icing. "Cooking for an army again, are you?" she asked cheekily and her mother swatted her playfully.

"Oh stop, you know I like to take biscuits to the neighbors," Jane replied, smiling at the girl.

"Can I help?" Catherine asked.

"Of course, dear," her mother replied. "That batch there is ready for icing." Catherine took the indicated platter and sat down at the table with the icing. As she began to frost the biscuits, she noticed her father's jacket and briefcase sitting on one of the chairs.

"Daddy's home already?" she asked.

"Yes, he took off early today," her mother replied. "Said he wanted to get the tree with you this afternoon."

"Where is he?" Catherine asked.

"Upstairs in his office, I think," her mother answered. "There were some reports he needed to look at before you go." Catherine simply nodded, not really looking forward to the yearly excursion. Normally, she was excited to pick out their Christmas tree with her father. It had always been something special the two of them did together. But the strain of the last months had taken its toll. Catherine avoided him as much as she could and when they were together, they rarely spoke more than two words to each other. Riding with him in silence to the tree lot didn't seem all that enticing to Catherine.

"Maybe you should come with us this year, Mum," Catherine said as nonchalantly as she could. Her mother stilled in her stirring and Catherine saw her shoulders stiffen. She wiped her hands carefully on the towel in front of her and then turned and looked at her daughter.

"Catherine, this has got to stop," her mother said quietly. Catherine glanced up and frowned at her mother's expression.

"I don't know what you mean," she sniffed, concentrating on icing the biscuit in front of her.

"You know very well what I mean," her mother continued, her voice growing tight. "This is killing your father."

"Well, I don't feel very good about it either, so I guess that makes two of us," Catherine retorted.

"I'm not talking about you not going back to Hogwarts, I know very well how you feel about that," her mother said icily. "I'm talking about the constant punishing of your father. He made the decision that he felt was the right one to keep you safe. You hating him for it won't make him change his mind." Catherine just shrugged and kept her eyes on the table. "You're always asking to be treated as an adult, but right now you are nothing more than a spoiled little child." Catherine looked up then, gaping at her mother. She had never seen such a look of fury on the normally calm woman's face.

"He barely sleeps at night," her mother continued, her lips in such a thin line, Catherine was instantly reminded of Professor McGonagall. "He tosses and turns, gets up and paces. Sometimes he sits in your room and just watches you sleep. You have no idea what you mean to him, what it did to him when you were hurt. If anything happened to you, if we lost you," her mother paused, gulping in a breath. "Your father would not survive it, of that I am certain. The fact that you hate him now is almost as bad."

"I don't hate him," Catherine mumbled under her breath.

"Well, you certainly seem to be doing a rather good job of convincing us otherwise," her mother said. She walked toward the table and sat down, taking her daughter's hand in hers. "I know that what we decided devastated you. I know that you don't understand why we did it and you probably won't until you have children of your own. I will not apologize for wanting to keep you safe. But you can't keep doing this Catherine, I'm begging you. I'm worried about his health. Please." Catherine looked at the desperation in her mother's eyes then and immediately felt two inches tall. She hadn't realized how much her anger had been affecting everyone else.

"I'll try Mum," she said quietly. Her mother kissed her forehead and squeezed her hand.

"Today, when you get the tree?" her mother asked and Catherine nodded. "Good girl." Her mother stood and went back to her mixing while Catherine stared morosely at the biscuits in front of her. A few minutes later, she heard footsteps on the stairs and her father appeared in the kitchen.

"Smells wonderful in here, Jane," he said, smiling as he kissed his wife's cheek. He dipped a finger into the bowl of batter and she slapped it away as he chuckled. Then he turned to Catherine and cleared his throat. "I came home early today. I thought that maybe, well, you might like to go and get the tree." He sounded so unsure of himself that Catherine cringed. This was what she had done. She took a deep breath and looked up.

"Sure, Daddy," she said smiling. "Sounds like fun." The grin that broke over his face almost made Catherine burst into tears, but she held her own smile in place and stood from the table. She looked back at her mother who had tears in her eyes and nodded.

"I'll just get the coats then," her father replied and with a pat to her shoulder, he went to the coat closet in the hall. Her mother crossed the kitchen once her father had left and gathered Catherine into her arms.

"Thank you," she said. Catherine just nodded and went to the front hall when she heard her father call her.

* * *

**18 December 1978**

Catherine yawned as she awoke, sun streaming into her window. She sat up and looked outside, smiling at the soft blanket of snow that covered the ground. The sun was shining so brightly that the snow twinkled, as if thousands of gems had been laid into its surface. Glancing at the clock, Catherine saw that it was after nine and if she wanted to be ready to go shopping with her mother, she had better get up and get dressed.

Just as she was leaving her room, she heard her name being called and saw the glow of her mirror. A wide grin breaking over her face, she ran and picked it up, seeing Sirius' face looking back at her. She sighed in happiness.

"Merlin, I missed you," she said, still grinning. He smiled back, but Catherine saw that it didn't reach his eyes and he didn't return the sentiment. "What's wrong?" she asked, but he just shook his head.

"Just tired," he said, not quite meeting her gaze. "I've been working like crazy. Seems Death Eaters don't really know the meaning of Christmas cheer."

"I'm sorry," Catherine said softly. He just shrugged a shoulder.

"What are you doing today?" he asked and Catherine's heart leapt.

"I was going shopping with my Mum, but I can change my plans," she said quickly.

"No, that's fine, I should sleep first anyway," he replied. "Can you meet me in the park around three?"

"Sure, we should be back by then," Catherine agreed.

"Oh and bring the mirror," he said, his gaze sliding away from her again. She frowned in confusion.

"What for?" she asked.

"I just need it for something," he replied, almost mumbling. Catherine narrowed her eyes, studying him. He had lines on his face that she hadn't seen before and the circles under his eyes were deep and purple. There was stubble on his chin, looking as if he hadn't shaved for a few days.

"Sirius, what is it?" she asked, concerned now. He looked at her then, his expression sad.

"Nothing, it's just work like I said. I've been going on almost no sleep for three days," he said. "I'm just knackered, don't worry about me." Somehow Catherine didn't completely believe him, but decided to wait until she saw him to press further.

"Well, you get some sleep and I'll see you later then," she said brightly, smiling at him again. He returned her smile half-heartedly. "I love you," she said. He nodded and the mirror went blank. Catherine returned to dressing, smile on her face and in her excitement at being able to see him later, didn't even register the fact that he hadn't told her he loved her back.

* * *

Later that afternoon, Catherine left the house, telling her mother she was taking a walk and made her way to the park to meet with Sirius. She was a little early, but even after wrapping all the presents she had bought, she couldn't make herself sit still.

Reaching the park, she sat down on the bench to wait. She knew things had been strained between the two of them for a while now, but Catherine thought if they could just spend some time together, everything would be all right again. Maybe Sirius had improved on the glamour charms and he could disguise himself again. Her parents had been so happy when she had been dating "Henry", thinking that Catherine was settling into school and making friends again.

Things over the weekend had been better between her father and her, although they were nowhere near back to normal. At least they were speaking to each other again, even if it was more formal and polite than usual. If she could see Sirius more often, she knew that she would be happier and in turn, her parents would be as well.

After a few minutes wait, Catherine heard the crack signaling Sirius' arrival. She stood grinning as she waited for him to come out of the copse of trees. It seemed to be taking him an awfully long time and she started to approach the trees. Before she reached them, he stepped out and looked at her. Her heart soared and she ran towards him, throwing her arms around his neck and hugging him. He patted her awkwardly on the back and she frowned, pulling back, but not releasing him fully.

"What's the matter?" she asked, as she searched his face. He reached up and disentangled her arms from around his neck.

"Let's go sit down for a minute," he said and began to walk back toward the bench she had been sitting on. She followed him reluctantly, a knot beginning to form in her stomach. They sat on the bench and he looked out over the park for a few moments before sighing heavily.

"Sirius, what's going on?" she asked. "You're starting to scare me." He looked at her out of the corner of his eye.

"Did you bring the mirror?" he asked, ignoring her question.

"Yes," she said warily. "Why do you want it?"

"James and I need them for a mission we have to go on for Dumbledore," he replied, not looking at her. "I'd make another set, but it would take too long and he never knew I nicked his in the first place. Can I have it?" He reached out a hand and she drew the mirror from her pocket and handed it over to him reluctantly.

"You'll give it back when you've finished though?" she asked and he looked away, tucking it into his pocket.

"Catherine," he started, then stopped and scrubbed a hand down his face. "This isn't working." She sat very still, trying to read something into his words so they would mean something different than what he'd said.

"I don't understand," she said quietly, looking down at her lap.

"You and I, it's not working," he said again. He opened his mouth to continue, but Catherine spoke before he could.

"I know that you're busy and I bother you too often," she said in a rush. "And I know that my problems are silly and juvenile compared to yours and what you're dealing with. I'm sorry, I'll just wait for you to call me when you have time and," she broke off as Sirius put a hand on her arm.

"It's not that," he said. "It's not you, it's not your problems. It's just all that I do every day. I'm too busy to spend time with you or even talk to you most of the time. That's not fair to you and then I feel guilty about it and I can't handle that on top of everything else. It's just," he paused and looked off into the distance. "Too much," he finished and Catherine felt her heart began to pound very loudly.

"It's all right, I don't mind," she insisted. "Even if I can't see you or talk to you, I'll be 17 soon and then I can leave and you won't have to come here to see me. I'll be at the house or in my own flat if you don't want me to live with you. I'll get a job and study for my O.W.L.s and I'll be busy too and we can just see each other when we can."

"Catherine," he began, but she interrupted.

"It's all right Sirius, I know you have a lot going on. I won't expect to see you on a regular basis or anything and,"

"Catherine!" he exclaimed loudly, causing her to jump and end her rambling. "I'm sorry, I just can't do this anymore." The tears began to form in her eyes, but she took a deep breath and refused to let them fall.

"Don't do this Sirius, please," she pleaded. "It's only a few more weeks, not even two whole months. Just wait a little bit longer."

"No, I can't, I just," he stopped and stood abruptly, turning away from her. Her heart plummeted to her feet and her hands began to shake. He took a deep breath and straightened his shoulders. Still not looking at her, he turned slightly. "There's someone else," he said flatly. Catherine's head flew up and her mouth hung open. "I didn't want to tell you, I hoped I could avoid hurting you like this. I didn't plan it, it just happened."

"Who?" Catherine whispered, surprised that her voice was even still working.

"It doesn't matter," he said, waving a hand. "Just someone I work with." Catherine felt as if he was stabbing a knife into her heart with his words, but he wasn't finished yet. "It's just easier with her." Stab. "We live in the same world, she understands what's happening." Stab. "And she's out of school as well." Stab. Catherine had unconsciously drawn her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you." Stab. She felt herself nod, just as the rest of her body froze in the position it was in and she felt as if she would never move again.

"Catherine, you need to go home, it's freezing out here," Sirius said, as he turned back toward her. Catherine stared at the ground, his voice registering in her mind, but unable to respond to what he had said. "Catherine," he said, a bit louder and he shook her arm. She nodded then, not sure what she was agreeing to, but knowing that she needed him to go.

"I'm sorry, I," he broke off and blew out a breath. Catherine thought that his voice sounded rather shaky, but she was sure she was imagining that. "Good-bye," he whispered and then, without even walking back into the trees, he was gone with a crack. Catherine sat frozen for a few seconds more, her vision becoming blurry with tears and then they overflowed onto her cheeks and her body was wracked with sobs.

* * *

Catherine didn't know how long she sat on the bench, staring at nothing. Her legs were cramped from the position she was in and her fingers were chilled. But, she wasn't as cold as she expected she should be. In fact, she felt almost warm at times. She couldn't quite force her brain to figure that out, although she knew that she should know why it was happening. When she finally came back to some semblance of herself, she realized the sky was darkening. This disturbed her at some level, although she couldn't remember why, but it wasn't enough to get her to move. It wasn't until she heard a voice that she moved at all. It was calling her name and it sounded somewhat frantic, but Catherine's sluggish mind couldn't figure out who it was. She shook her head a little, as if trying to clear it and then someone was standing in front of her.

"Catherine, thank god," her mother said, as she sank down onto the bench and gathered the girl into her arms. Catherine didn't move from her knees clasped position. "Have you been out here all this time?" her mother demanded, but Catherine simply looked at her. "Catherine, what's happened?" she asked worriedly. But Catherine said nothing. Her mother gently unclasped her arms from around her legs and tried to pull her daughter to her feet. Catherine crumpled to the ground, her legs asleep after so long in the same position.

"Catherine!" her mother exclaimed and managed to pull the girl up. Catherine leaned into her mother and let the other woman lead her home. Her mother tucked her into bed and kept talking to her, asking her questions, but Catherine didn't hear any of them. Finally, to her relief, her mother left the room and Catherine closed her eyes, allowing the darkness to pull her under.

* * *

**A/N - Please don't hurt me! (ducks and hides) Sorry, had to happen and before she turned 17 for the story to work. And, sorry to say, this is the last we'll see of Sirius for awhile. I know, I know, bad, bad author. But, this is the end of this first story arc, part two begins in the next chapter. Good news though, someone from Catherine's past will make a reappearance in the next chapter. If you want to make a guess as to who that will be, put it in a review! **


	17. Endings and Beginnings

**A/N - Next chapter a bit early as I won't get a chance to post it tomorrow. I hope that everyone is still reading even after what happened last chapter. There will be more coming about the break-up in a few chapters, so don't kill Sirius just yet. ;) Of my reviewers that guessed, one person was right about who will be reappearing in this chapter, but I'm not going to tell you which one. Thanks so much for all the reviews last chapter, loved them all! This chapter is prep for the 2nd story arc which will start next chapter. Enjoy! **

**Chapter 17**

**Endings and Beginnings**

**18 December 1978**

When she awoke, it was dark in her room, save for the small lamp that burned on her desk. She looked around, trying to remember what had happened and then it all came over her in a rush. She curled in on herself, drawing her knees up to her chin and she began to tremble. She must have been making some kind of noise, for her mother hurried into the room and sat down on the edge of her bed.

"Catherine, you need to tell me what happened," her mother said softly. Catherine shook her head. "Please, sweetheart, I need to know if someone hurt you." Someone had hurt her, Catherine thought, but the rational part of her brain didn't think this was what her mother meant. She licked her lips, which seemed to be very dry and tried to speak, but all that came out was a strangled sort of croak. She looked up at her mother and saw that she was crying. Catherine reached a hand up to her mother's cheek and wiped away a tear that was running down it. That seemed to shock her into speech.

"No, Mum, no one hurt me, I'm all right," Catherine said in a whisper. She saw her mother instantly slump in relief.

"Then what on earth happened?" her mother asked, rubbing a hand down her daughter's arm.

"Nothing, I just," Catherine broke off, trying to come up with some excuse that her mother would believe. "I was just thinking about Hogwarts again and I think I've finally accepted that I won't ever be going back there." The tears returned and her mother wrapped her arms around her.

"I'm so sorry, sweetheart," she said, kissing Catherine's temple and hugging her tightly. Catherine cried into her mother's shoulder, clinging to her as she had when she was just a little girl. Her mother rubbed her back and whispered soothing words into her ear until Catherine was spent. She felt her eyes close and her mother laid her back down on her bed, smoothing her hair from her forehead and patting her cheek. Catherine felt her mother kiss her forehead and then rise from the bed, leaving the door open as she left. Catherine burrowed down into her covers, searching for sleep and an end to the pain that was piercing her heart.

* * *

Catherine awoke with a shout in the middle of the night, scrambling for her bedside lamp. She switched it on and sat in the middle of her bed, panting as she recalled the nightmare she hadn't had for months. It felt as if she were back in the infirmary, only this time she knew that Sirius wouldn't be coming to calm her down. She buried her face in her hands and wept as her mother entered the room.

"What is it?" her mother asked, sitting down on the bed next to her.

"Bad dream," Catherine mumbled as her mother put a hand on her back.

"Would you like some tea?" Jane asked. Catherine shook her head and lay back down in her bed. "Can I get you anything?"

"No, Mum," Catherine said, turning toward the wall. She heard her mother sigh and felt her pat her one last time before she stood and left the room. Catherine lay awake for a long time and it wasn't until the first hints of dawn entered her room, that she drifted off once more.

* * *

The next few days, Catherine spent most of her time in her room. She lay listlessly on her bed, staring at nothing, not acknowledging her mother when she brought in trays of food. Her father came in every night after dinner and sat and tried to talk to her, but she always ignored him as well. One day as he left she heard him say, 'it was for the best' under his breath, assuming he was talking about taking her away from Hogwarts.

Catherine knew her mother was getting suspicious. Catherine had gone through a small depression when she had first come home, but it hadn't been as bad as this and hadn't lasted as long. She had been more angry than depressed then and had expressed that anger by ignoring her parents and slamming her door as often as possible. It was Christmas Eve and Catherine was still lying in her bed. Her mother came into the room and stood in the doorway staring at her daughter for a few minutes.

"That's it," she said, as she approached the bed. "Get up." She began to pull on Catherine's arm, but Catherine just lay limply in her bed. "Catherine Victoria, get out of this bed this minute," her mother insisted, hands on her hips. Catherine rolled onto her back and looked blearily up at her mother.

"Why?" she asked, her voice hoarse from disuse.

"Because, we're going to the doctor," her mother replied, crossing her arms in front of her.

"For what?" Catherine asked, propping herself up on her elbows.

"There is obviously something wrong with you," her mother said, lips narrowing. "You've barely moved for a week. Or maybe it's the police we need to see."

"The police?" Catherine asked, completely confused now. Her mother sighed and sat down on her bed.

"I know you said that no one hurt you," her mother began, taking her hands. "But something happened. Something besides what you told me. I know you must be scared, but if someone did something to you, we need to talk to the police." Her mother bit her lip and her chin began to quiver and Catherine realized all the terrible thoughts that must have been going through her mother's head all this time.

"No Mum, I swear, nothing like that happened," Catherine insisted, shaking her head.

"Then what is it?" her mother said. "Please, Catherine, please tell me," she begged. Catherine looked at the pain and fear in her mother's eyes and came to a decision. She took a deep breath and took her hands from her mother's, drawing her knees up to her chest.

"There was a boy," she began and over the next hour, spilled the entire story of her and Sirius' relationship. She admitted that she'd been seeing him since she had been home and that 'Henry' had really been Sirius in disguise. She skirted over what had happened in August and all the times since then, her mother didn't need to know everything after all, and she finished with the break-up in the park.

"I love him Mum," she finished, crying once more. Her mother hugged her tightly.

"I know, baby, I know," she said, kissing the top of Catherine's head.

"Why didn't he want me anymore?" Catherine asked in a whisper and she felt her mother squeeze her tighter.

"I don't know, sweetheart, but he's a fool," Jane said, rubbing her daughter's back. She pulled back a bit and took Catherine chin gently in her hand. "I know this hurts, more than anything you could ever imagine. And I know you think you'll never stop hurting and you'll never find anyone else to love. But you will." Catherine shook her head violently.

"Yes, sweetheart, you will," her mother said again. "Do you think your father is the only man that I ever loved?" She chuckled at Catherine's surprised expression. "Yes, dear, I was young once too and I had my heart broken once or twice. I know it doesn't help right now, but you will find someone else someday, when you're ready." Catherine hugged her mother, her head resting on her shoulder. No matter who else she found, she knew that it wouldn't be the same. There had been something about Sirius, about the two of them together, well, before he had pulled away from her, that made her feel like she was home. She didn't think that she could ever love anyone else the way that she had loved him. But she remained silent, held safely in her mother's arms and allowed herself to be soothed and comforted.

* * *

**July 1993**

Catherine gasped as she came back to herself, feeling the tears running down her face. She swiped them away angrily, irritated that she had allowed the memories to affect her so much. Especially after the reason Sirius had given her for the break-up. She was often angry at herself for still feeling this way about him after he had been with someone else, although that he was had never really made much sense to her. Sirius had been distant for quite some time, true, but he was loyal to those he cared about to a fault. She would have never thought him capable of betraying her like that, and truth be told, she still wasn't sure if she was. She had no idea why he would say it otherwise, however. Perhaps it was just wishful thinking.

Still, first love was a powerful thing, she knew. Over the next few weeks after Christmas, she and her mother had talked more about love and broken hearts. And as much as her mother loved her father, she still had a spot in her heart for her first love, she said. They had been 16 and she was convinced that the two of them would get married someday. A summer away in France had changed his mind, as well as turned his head, and when school had started that fall her mother was single once again.

"Young people don't always make the best choices, sweetheart," her mother had explained. "I was hurt, badly, just as you are and I was so annoyed with myself that I just couldn't turn my feelings off. But the heart wants what it wants, even if your head doesn't always agree. Don't be too upset with yourself. Time will help."

Her mother had been right, of course. She had slowly managed to tuck her love for Sirius away and she had found someone else to love, someone who she thought would keep her from wanting, missing, everything that had been taken away from her. But then he had hurt her just as much, if not more, than Sirius had. She often thought about the expression, 'the third times the charm', but knew that there would be no third time for her. Having her heart broken twice, as thoroughly as she had, was quite enough for her. Her mother still tried to set her up on dates or encourage her to go out and try and meet someone, but she always declined. She had no room for that kind of love in her life anymore, it was as simple as that. And now that she had been through all the memories, maybe she could move on and figure out what she was going to do from here.

She looked out the window again, the sun now fully up and she heard her mother moving around downstairs. Standing up from the window seat, she turned to go into the loo when the door to her room was pushed open and Miranda ran in.

"Mummy, Mummy," she yelled, grin on her face.

"Shh, sweetheart, you'll wake your brother and sister," Catherine said, smiling herself and picking her daughter up.

"What's wrong Mummy?" Miranda asked, bringing her hand up to her mother's cheek and running a finger down the tear track there.

"Nothing, Mummy was just remembering some things," Catherine said quickly, trying to reassure the little girl. Miranda looked at her solemnly and then put a small hand on either side of Catherine's face.

"Don't cry Mummy, it will be all right now," she said, very seriously.

"Oh, it will now, will it?" Catherine asked, biting the inside of her cheek so as not to laugh.

"Yep, 'cause I have a big surprise for you," Miranda replied, still not letting go of her mother's face.

"And what surprise is that?" Catherine inquired.

" 'Member that bunny that we saw in the garden?" Miranda began excitedly, finally releasing her face as Catherine nodded. "Well, Grandma said it had babies! They're right behind the shed and Grandma says we mustn't touch them, because they are still very tiny and helpless, but we can look at them. So come on Mummy, let's go look, please, please, can we?" Miranda was literally jumping up and down in her arms and Catherine began to laugh as she set her daughter down.

"Just let me get dressed," Catherine said, turning back to her wardrobe.

"No, Mummy, come now!" Miranda insisted. "Here, just put this on." She thrust Catherine's dressing gown at her and Catherine chuckled as she shrugged into it.

"All right, I'm coming," she said as Miranda began to tug on her hand. She smiled as she followed her youngest daughter down the stairs and into the garden. Regardless of her earlier distress and hurt, nothing could improve her mood like the enthusiasm of her children.

* * *

**28 July 1993**

Catherine tried to hurry her children down the street, but they were all lagging, especially Miranda. They had been walking for quite a long time, Catherine having decided to take the Underground instead of driving all the way to the Leaky Cauldron. And in the excitement and her apprehension about what the day would bring, they had gotten off at the wrong stop. Catherine had decided to walk the rest of the way instead of getting back on the tube. A decision she was now regretting.

"Mummy, my feet hurt," Miranda whined.

"Come here, sweetheart," her mother replied. "I'll carry you for a while." She picked the little girl up and balanced her on her hip.

"Mum, we've been walking forever. Are you sure this is the right street?" Ellie asked.

"Of course it is," Catherine said. "It's not much further." Ellie rolled her eyes as if she didn't believe that the woman who had forgotten which tube stop to get off at, could possibly remember what street they were supposed to be on. They continued walking and Catherine saw the small sign for the Leaky. It was still as old and weathered as she remembered and most people still walked past it oblivious to its existence. She stopped a couple of shops away and turned to the children.

"It's just right up here, I can see the sign," Catherine said, smiling at the three of them.

"Where, Mummy, where?" Miranda asked, looking around her mother's shoulder. Rory had gone up on his tiptoes, craning his neck to see and even Ellie looked interested. The girl had been much less enthusiastic this morning when Catherine had woken her up to get ready to leave. Catherine was a bit concerned as to why, but had decided to let Ellie tell her in her own time.

"Right down there," Catherine said pointing. "See the sign with the cauldron on it?"

"What's a cauldron?" Rory asked, puzzled look on his face and Catherine sighed. She really had her work cut out for her, explaining everything her children should have known since they were babies.

"It's like a big pot." Ellie was the one to answer. "You know like in Snow White, when the witch was making the poison apple?"

"Oh yeah, right," Rory said, looking back down the street for the sign.

"Mummy, I see it, I see it," Miranda squealed.

"Me too, Mum," Rory said excitedly. "Right there." He pointed at the sign and Catherine smiled, ruffling his hair.

"Good to know I wasn't wrong about you being a wizard," Catherine said laughing. "Come on." She led her children towards the pub and stopped just inside the doorway. It was just as she remembered it, she thought smiling. A few stools were occupied at the bar and the bartender stood wiping glasses with a towel. There were quite a few patrons sitting at the tables scattered throughout the room. Some were families like theirs and others were solitary witches, wizards and other interesting creatures. She looked down at Rory and Ellie who stood open-mouthed in the doorway and chuckled.

"Come on, let's sit down and rest a bit, shall we?" she asked and escorted the children to a table. The two older children pulled out chairs and sat down while Catherine pulled out one for Miranda.

"I'll go get us some drinks, all right?" Catherine said. "Watch your sister, now." She walked up to the bar and waited to get the bartender's attention.

"Three pumpkin juices and a butterbeer please," she requested. As the man was readying the drinks, Catherine looked down to the other end of the bar. There were a few men sitting on stools, nursing drinks, some eating, but it was the person at the far end that caught her attention. He was looking down at his plate, she could only see the top of his head and a bit of his forehead, but for some reason her heart began to beat a little faster anyway.

As the bartender slid the drinks across the counter to her, Catherine felt herself willing the man at the end of the bar to raise his head. As if he had heard her silent pleading, he raised his head and locked eyes with her, his widening as he recognized her. She gasped and brought a hand to her mouth, gripping the edge of the bar to keep herself upright. There were lines on his face that hadn't been there before and his hair was graying at the temples, but it was very definitely him. She saw him fumble in his pocket and throw some money on the bar, then rise and begin to walk towards her. His expression was one of incredulity and she was sure hers matched his. When he reached her they stared at each other for a moment, before he finally spoke.

"Catherine?" he asked tentatively. He raised a hand as if he was going to put it on her arm, but stopped midway between them.

"Remus," she breathed and then collapsed into his arms.

* * *

"Mum!" was the next thing Catherine was aware of hearing and she turned her head to see Ellie hurrying toward her. Rory was still at the table with Miranda, but both were looking extremely worried. Catherine straightened and looked up at Remus, still unable to believe that he was standing in front of her. She stepped back, but he kept a hand on her arm, his face concerned.

"I'm so sorry, I don't know what happened," Catherine said quietly, still staring at him in wonder.

"Mum, are you all right?" Ellie had reached her side now and Catherine turned to her daughter and smiled.

"I'm fine sweetheart," she said, putting a hand on Ellie's shoulder. Ellie looked suspiciously between her mother and the man standing in front of her. The man looked harmless enough, but the expression on his face was one of immense surprise and something else as well. Ellie couldn't really place it, but she had the distinct feeling that this man wanted to pull her mother into his arms and hold on for dear life. She moved next to her mother and took her hand, standing a bit in front of her almost protectively and the man seemed to shake himself from his trance.

"Catherine, I'm sorry, I just never expected," he began and ran a hand through his hair.

"Neither did I," Catherine replied, as Ellie looked from one to the other, frown on her face.

"Mummy?" Catherine heard and she turned back to the table and saw that Miranda's mouth had turned down in a frown and that her chin had begun to quiver. Not wanting to scare her daughter any further, Catherine hurried back to the table, with Ellie following, and picked Miranda up again.

"It's all right, everything's fine," Catherine said, soothing the little girl. She looked down to Rory and smiled, patting him on the shoulder. "There's someone I'd like you to meet." She turned back and beckoned to Remus, who approached their table with a smile.

"This is Remus Lupin, an old friend of mine. We went to school together," Catherine said knowing her eyes were probably very bright, but continuing to smile all the same. "These are my children," she continued turning back to Remus. "Ellie, Rory and Miranda."

"It's very nice to meet all of you," Remus said, nodding to each of the children. He turned back to Catherine. "I still can't believe you're here. I never thought you would be back." Catherine shook her head slightly, then looked meaningfully at the children. Remus seemed to have caught on because his next question was directed to Ellie.

"First year then?" he asked and the girl simply nodded, still looking at him warily. He gave her another smile, then turned to Rory. "And how about you?"

"I'm eight, but I'll be nine next week," Rory said importantly and Remus nodded solemnly.

"Very important age, nine," he said. "Almost a grown up." Remus winked at Catherine and she held in a giggle as Rory puffed out his chest. "And what about you little one?" Remus asked, as Miranda burrowed her face farther into her mother's neck.

"Miranda is six," Catherine answered, chuckling a bit. "She's a bit shy around strangers."

"I'm happy to meet you Miranda," Remus said, as Miranda peeked out at him. He smiled warmly and the little girl returned it, removing her face from Catherine's shoulder and straightening in her arms.

"Please, can you join us?" Catherine asked.

"I'd love to," he replied as the bartender came up behind them with Catherine's forgotten drinks.

"Would you like anything to drink?" Catherine queried as the drinks were placed on the table.

"No, I'm fine," Remus replied, as he pulled out the chair next to Rory and sat down. "Just finished my lunch actually. So I expect you're here to get your school things then?" he asked Ellie and the girl simply shrugged. Catherine sat down with Miranda on her lap, although the little girl soon scooted herself into the other chair next to Remus. Catherine's brow furrowed at Ellie. She wished she knew what was bothering her.

"Yes, we are," Catherine answered for her daughter, while giving Ellie a slight bump with her shoulder. Ellie looked up and Catherine gave her a pointed glare, but Ellie just rolled her eyes and continued fiddling with her bottle of pumpkin juice. Catherine glanced at the other two who were gulping theirs down as if they hadn't had anything to drink in days.

"This is really good Mum," Rory said when he'd finished, swiping a hand across his lips. Catherine shook her head and handed him a napkin which he promptly crumpled up in his hand. Remus caught her gaze and chuckled.

"I thought you might like it," Catherine replied, taking a sip of her butterbeer. "They serve it at breakfast at Hogwarts."

"Mr. Remus, do you like pumpkin juice?" Miranda asked, inching closer to the man.

"Well, yes, as a matter of fact I do," Remus replied, giving her a smile.

"Me too," she grinned and took another drink.

"Your children are delightful," Remus said. "Although I suppose I shouldn't be surprised, given who their mother is." Catherine just shook her head. "So what have you been up to all these years?" he asked.

"That is a very long story and definitely one for another time," Catherine replied, her smile tightening ever so slightly. She took another drink and slid her gaze away from Remus, although she could still feel his eyes boring into her. She wished again that her mother had been able to come with them today. Jane had come down with something the night before and was spending the day in bed. Catherine wanted to ask Remus everything, but she couldn't in front of the children. When she glanced back up, Remus was looking at her apologetically and she nodded in response.

"What about you? What brings you here today?" she said, hoping to change the subject to more pleasant topics.

"Well I needed to get some supplies and books for my new job," he said, the corners of his mouth twitching a bit.

"Oh, well, congratulations then," Catherine said. "And what kind of job is it?"

"Actually, you are looking at the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts," he replied. Catherine looked at him for a moment, her mouth agape and then she grinned widely and reached across the table to take his hand.

"Remus that's wonderful," she exclaimed. "Ellie, Mr. Lupin will be teaching you this year. Or I supposed we should call him Professor Lupin now." Remus chuckled and held up a hand.

"At school surely, but just Remus is fine for now, really," he said. "I always look round for my father when I hear someone say Mr. Lupin." He winked at Catherine and she smiled. She couldn't believe that they had run into him today. She sat and stared at him, not able to help herself. It was like being given a gift you never even realized you wanted. He looked back at her, a knowing look in his eye. Catherine had the distinct feeling that he felt exactly the same.

"So, what do you say I accompany all of you into Diagon Alley?" he asked once the children had finished their drinks.

"That sounds like a wonderful idea. I'm not even sure if I would remember how to get in, in any case," Catherine replied. She paid for the drinks and then gathered her children and they followed Remus out into the back courtyard of the pub. Remus tapped the bricks on the back wall, Catherine watching closely so she would remember for the next time. The wall started folding in on itself and the three children stared at it, mouths agape, until an arch formed where the wall had been. Remus gestured at the street in front of him. "Diagon Alley!" he said with a flourish of his hand.

The three children stood staring, until their mother finally urged them through the wall.

"Come on, you three," she said, laughing. "You'll catch flies standing there with your mouths hanging open." Remus chuckled and followed the family through the wall. As they walked forward, the wall repaired itself behind them. Rory ran his hand over the bricks after they had closed, his eyes wide.

"That was wicked!" he exclaimed.

"Wait until you see some of the shops around here," Remus said with a smile.

"Mum, can we go in there?" Rory begged as they passed a shop selling broomsticks.

"Not now, Rory," Catherine answered. "Let's get Ellie's things and then we'll see what else we have time for, all right?" Catherine turned to Remus. "We're not keeping you are we?"

"Not at all," Remus replied. "As long as you don't mind my company."

"Of course not," Catherine returned, smiling at him. Remus offered her his arm and she tucked hers into his, following the children as they walked down the street, looking back and forth between the shops and the other people strolling along.

"Where to first?" Remus asked.

"Actually, the first thing we need to do is head over to Gringott's and exchange our money," Catherine said.

"What's Gringott's Mummy?" Miranda asked. She had dropped back to hold her mother's hand and was currently skipping next to her.

"Gringott's is the wizard bank," Catherine explained. "Wizards don't use the same kind of money we do. We have to change in our money for some gold galleons."

"Real gold?" Rory asked, clearly impressed.

"That's right, real gold," Catherine said. Remus turned and looked at her quizzically.

"Part of that long story I told you about," Catherine whispered. Remus just nodded. Catherine sighed, realizing just how much she had left to teach her children. It would be easier now that Ellie was starting school, the younger two would be familiar with things when it was their time to go.

Catherine looked up and realized they had almost reached Gringott's. She stopped her children before they began to climb the stairs.

"Listen all of you, before we go in," she addressed her three children. "Goblins run Gringott's."

"Goblins?" Ellie looked at her mother like she had grown another head. "What do you mean goblins?"

"I mean just what I said. They're short, have big ears and long noses. They're not exactly the most pleasant creatures around either, so don't stare, all right?" Catherine looked at each of her children in turn, wishing again that she had told them more about Diagon Alley before they arrived here. There was just so much to think about. And being by herself made it that much harder.

"Are they mean, Mummy?" Miranda asked, grasping her mother's hand more tightly, her lip quivering.

"No sweetheart, they're not mean, they're just," Catherine looked at Remus, the need for help plain on her face. Remus crouched down in front of Miranda.

"They're not mean exactly, just more serious," Remus told the little girl. "You can hold my hand too, if you like." Miranda looked at him nervously, then slipped her hand into his, smiling as she did so. The five of them made their way up the steps of Gringott's.

"Do you know if they keep gold in vaults indefinitely?" Catherine asked Remus as they entered the bank.

"I assume they would if no one emptied it," Remus replied. "Do you still think you have some gold in your vault?"

"I'm not sure," Catherine admitted. "My mother couldn't remember if they had emptied it out after they took me out of school or not. She still had the key though, so I was going to check."

"You might want to ask before you change your money," Remus said. "Just in case." Catherine nodded and walked to the nearest available goblin.

"I was wondering if there was still any gold left in vault 953," she began. "No one has been here to take any money out for about fifteen years."

"Do you have the key?" the goblin asked.

"Yes," Catherine said, removing it from her bag.

"There does seem to be a balance, yes," the goblin said, looking over a large ledger. "Would you like to remove it?"

"Yes, please," Catherine replied.

"Follow me," said the goblin. They all trailed behind the goblin to the carts that Catherine remembered all too well. She didn't think her youngest would be able to handle the wild ride, but knew she wouldn't stay behind without her brother or sister.

"Remus, would you mind staying here with Rory and Miranda while Ellie and I go to the vault," Catherine asked.

"Of course," he answered.

"Mum, I want to go," Rory whined.

"Next time I promise, I just don't think there's enough room for us all in the cart," Catherine insisted. She bent down and whispered in his ear. "I need you to stay here and mind your sister, so she's not scared, all right?" He nodded, clearly not happy with this development, but stayed behind all the same.

"Ellie, you come with me. You should see how this all works," Catherine smiled at her daughter who just shrugged. Catherine sighed. They climbed into the cart, the goblin in back, Ellie and Catherine in front of him. Catherine put her arm around her daughter and hugged her close.

"Close your eyes and hold on to me," Catherine told her quietly. Ellie whipped her head around and stared at her mother.

"Why?" she asked, warily.

"Trust me," Catherine replied as the cart took off. Ellie squeezed her eyes shut and grasped her mother's arm tightly. Catherine pulled her closer and wrapped both arms around her daughter's waist. They hurtled through the tunnels and up and down hills until jerking to a stop in front of vault 953. The goblin climbed out and took his key and Catherine's and inserted them into the locks. The door of the vault disappeared to reveal the contents. Catherine's mouth dropped open. Where she had expected nothing or maybe a small pile of galleons, there were stacks and stacks of galleons, sickles and knuts. She couldn't understand where it had all come from.

"Mum, is that a lot?" Ellie asked, still in the cart.

"Yes, Ellie, that is a lot," Catherine answered, still in shock. "Are you sure this is the right vault?" she asked the goblin.

"We don't make mistakes," he sniffed, clearly offended.

"Yes, right, sorry. Of course you don't," Catherine assured him quickly. "Well, I guess I better gather some up then." Catherine climbed out of the cart, the bag the goblin had given her clutched in her hand. As she scooped up a handful of gold, her mind was reeling as to where it had all come from. Did they have interest at Gringott's like at her bank at home? Even if they did, there was no way the amount of money she had in the vault before she left school could have multiplied this much, even in fifteen years. But, they wouldn't need to buy things second-hand like she had originally thought. Ellie would be happy about that. She finished and climbed back into the cart with her daughter. The goblin locked the vault and climbed back in after her. The cart once again hurtled through the tunnels until they were back at the entrance. Ellie climbed out of the cart on shaky legs and was instantly assaulted by her brother wanting to know everything about the ride.

"Is everything all right?" Remus asked, his brow furrowing in concern at the look on Catherine's face.

"I'm not sure actually" Catherine answered. "There were stacks and stacks of gold in the vault. I don't understand where it all came from. Even with interest, if there is any, I don't know how that much could be there. My parents never kept a lot of money in the vault at any one time, mostly just changed it over when we would come shopping every summer. They only got the vault at all because I begged them for it."

"I suppose you'll have to just ask them," Remus said, gesturing toward the goblins.

"I'm kind of afraid they'll tell me it isn't mine," Catherine said, blushing.

"Well, I've never known Gringott's to make a mistake," Remus said, his lips pursed in thought.

"You're right, I need to ask," Catherine nodded and approached one of the goblins again. "Excuse me, do you keep records of deposits?"

"Of course we do," the goblin answered. "Is there a problem?"

"Well, there was just a lot more money in my vault than I expected. You see, no one has used it for fifteen years and even when it was being used, there wasn't all that much in it," Catherine replied.

"Vault number," the goblin requested.

"953," Catherine told him. The goblin looked through a large book scanning with his fingertips.

"Vault 953, opened 20 years ago. A few regular deposits in September for five years, then nothing for six years. Then one very large deposit in June, 9 years ago. Nothing after that, except monthly interest deposits," the goblin peered at her over the edge of the book.

The first five years had been the years she had attended Hogwarts and then nothing for six years because she had left. And then the large deposit in June, nine years ago. Who had done that? If it had been her mother, surely she would have said something when Catherine had asked her for the key. Who then?

"One moment, there seems to be something here," the goblin said as he read a note in the ledger. "Wait here please." The goblin turned and went into a room behind him as Catherine stood in confusion. When he returned he had an envelope in his hand which he gave to Catherine. "There were instructions to give this to the person that next opened the vault," the goblin explained. "Will there be anything else?"

"No, thank you," Catherine said as she turned the envelope over in her hands. One look at the handwriting scrawled across the front and Catherine's knees buckled. She grasped the edge of the counter as the realization of where that money had come from hit her.

"Catherine," she heard Remus shout as he ran towards her and grabbed her before she could crumple to the ground. "Catherine what happened?"

"Nothing, nothing, I'm all right," she insisted, but grasped Remus' arm tightly to keep herself on her feet. Surely he hadn't. He couldn't have, not after how he protested, how insistent he was.

"What's that?" Remus asked, indicating the letter in her hand, as the children ran up to join them.

"Mum, what happened?" Rory asked, as Miranda hugged her tightly around the legs and Ellie put a hand on her arm.

"Nothing, just got a bit of a shock, that's all," Catherine said, trying to smile at the three of them.

"About the money?" Ellie asked and Catherine nodded.

"It's nothing for you three to worry about," she said, her smile more genuine this time. "Come on, let's go and get Ellie's things now." They all looked at her cautiously, but nodded all the same and began to walk from the bank. Remus tucked her arm in his again and glanced at her in concern before they began to follow the children.

"My father," she whispered, as Remus looked at her. "It was my father."

"What do you mean?" Remus asked confused.

"He died, nine years ago, in July. Someone made a very large deposit in June and they left a letter. It's his handwriting on the front," Catherine paused and swallowed thickly. "He must have done it and my mother must not have known anything about it. But, why, why would he do that? He hated Hogwarts, hated magic." Catherine's eyes searched Remus', as if looking for an answer there. "I don't understand." Remus looked back at her, sympathy in his eyes.

"Maybe you should read the letter," he said quietly. Catherine shook her head.

"Not here, not in front of the children," she replied. She tucked the letter into her bag and straightened her shoulders as they reached the bottom of the stairs of the bank. "Now, I think we have some supplies to buy." Remus patted her hand and gave it a squeeze as they followed the children down the street to Ollivander's.


	18. Diagon Alley and Dinner

**A/N - Hello all! Thanks so much for all the reviews, alerts and faves last chapter! I appreciate all of them! This chapter is a bit shorter, another filler before we get to the real info about Catherine's past. And she will find out about Sirius, but not for a few chapters yet. Her story comes first. Enjoy and see you all on Friday!**

**Chapter 18**

**Diagon Alley and Dinner**

They spent the rest of the afternoon collecting everything Ellie would need for school. Remus made his own purchases as they went along their way, shrinking down the packages to make them easier to carry after being sure that Catherine could still do the counter-spell. Catherine was more than pleased that there didn't seem to be any awkwardness between them, although that fact that they were both assiduously avoiding one specific topic may have explained that. After dragging her children from shop to shop and only having Ellie's robes and owl left to buy, Rory started to whine.

"Mum, I'm so bored," he said. "I want to go somewhere cool, like the shop with all the brooms."

"I know Rory, but we need to get this list taken care of first," Catherine told him. "Tell you what, after the robes, we'll stop and get some ice cream before we go and find Ellie an owl, all right?"

"I don't want to sit and watch Ellie try on clothes." He crossed his arms and stopped walking.

"Rory," Catherine warned.

"Catherine, why don't you let me take Rory and Miranda while you take Ellie to Madame Malkin's," Remus offered. "I'll take them in a few shops and then we can meet you at Fortescue's for ice cream."

"Oh, you don't have to do that," Catherine insisted. "I don't want to delay you any more than we already have."

"I'm in no hurry, I promise you," Remus insisted. "Besides, it will give me a chance to talk Quidditch with this one." He ruffled Rory's hair.

"Quidditch? What's that?" Rory asked.

"What's Quidditch?" Remus repeated. He looked at Catherine incredulously. She rolled her eyes and shook her head. Remus had never played Quidditch at Hogwarts, but he had been just as obsessed with it as most of the other boys she had gone to school with. She supposed having James and Sirius as best mates hadn't helped.

"Oh Merlin forbid, I don't inform my children about the sacred sport of Quidditch," she said dramatically. Remus just glared at her and she chuckled. "All right, an hour then?" Remus nodded.

"Brilliant!" Rory said, his mouth widening into a grin. "Come on Remus!" The boy pulled on Remus' arm, who turned and took Miranda by the hand. The little girl immediately began to skip alongside him. Catherine smiled, watching the three of them walk away, as Remus turned his head from one to the other as they spoke to him. She put her arm around her oldest daughter.

"Come on, let's get you measured for some robes." Catherine noticed the small smile that ghosted across her daughter's face before disappearing. Catherine's own grin widened in response, but pretended she hadn't seen anything as she ushered her daughter into Madame Malkin's.

The shop was just as Catherine remembered it, full of a wide variety of school and everyday robes, as well as dress robes for more formal occasions.

"Looking for school robes, are we?" Madame Malkin came into the shop from the back room.

"Yes," Catherine answered. Madame Malkin led Ellie to the racks of school robes, measuring her and choosing a set that would fit.

"Just put these on and step up there, dear," the shop owner said, pointing to a raised platform a few feet away. Ellie slipped the robes on over her clothes and stepped up to the platform.

"Those look fine, just need a tiny bit of shortening in the arms," Madame Malkin said, looking Ellie up and down. "Just hold still, while I pin these up." Ellie held her arms out to her sides as her sleeves were pinned by magic.

"All right, all done. How many sets did you want?" Madame Malkin asked Catherine.

"Oh, the usual I suppose. Three isn't it?" Catherine asked.

"Yes, three should be sufficient," the shopkeeper agreed. Catherine silently thanked her father once again for his generosity. She hadn't known how they were going to afford one set of second-hand robes, let alone three, before she'd been to the bank. Madame Malkin took the robes from Ellie and went into the back of the shop, telling them she would have their robes in a few moments.

"Mum, maybe you should get some of these." Ellie had been looking at all the other robes available in the shop and held out a set of dark green ones. "This color would look really good on you."

"Oh Ellie, what do I need robes for?" her mother said, laughing.

"Well, if you're going to be a proper witch, shouldn't you have some robes?" Ellie asked, grinning back.

"A proper witch, hm?" Catherine teased. "And just what does that entail, may I ask?"

"I don't know, but I know you want to come back here Mum," Ellie said quietly.

"What are you talking about El?" Catherine asked in confusion.

"Ever since I got my letter you've been acting different," Ellie replied. "I know what you said about missing your friends, but it's like you're looking for something." Catherine stared open-mouthed at her daughter. Ellie's intuition bordered on true seeing at times and Catherine wondered, not for the first time, if there was something more to her daughter's magical power than she realized. "Don't you want to come back here? To the magical world I mean?"

"Sometimes I do sweetheart," Catherine said, running a hand down her daughter's hair. "Sometimes I do." She pulled the girl into an embrace and kissed her on top of the head. "How did you get to be so smart?"

"Just naturally talented I guess," Ellie said with a cheeky shrug. "Now will you try on the robes?" Catherine thought of the extra money she had just discovered.

"Oh, all right," Catherine agreed with a laugh. "But don't think you'll see me walking to the market in these or anything."

* * *

When they were finished, they walked out of the store with three sets of school robes for Ellie and a set in black for Catherine. She was wearing the green ones Ellie had picked out. Catherine linked her arm through her daughter's as they set off for the ice cream shop to meet up with Remus and the other children.

"Now the beaters," Remus was saying to Rory as Catherine and Ellie walked up, sent a pang of ache through Catherine's heart, but she quickly masked it with a smile. Miranda was putting an enormous spoonful of ice cream to her mouth, which promptly fell off the spoon and into her lap. Before she could even make a motion, Remus waved his wand and said "scourgify" and the offending mess disappeared. Miranda looked up at him in awe, then clapped her hands and smiled.

"Do it again, Mr. Remus," she insisted.

"Well that would require you spilling more ice cream and I think you'd rather eat it than spill it wouldn't you?" he asked with a chuckle. Miranda pursed her lips in thought for a moment, then nodded and went back to her bowl of ice cream. Catherine laughed aloud at her daughter and even Ellie had a smile on her face. Remus stood as they approached the table and looked at Catherine.

"You look very nice," he said, giving her a smile.

"Well, Ellie reminded me that I should look like a proper witch, so," Catherine shrugged, her face reddening a bit at Remus' compliment. He pulled a chair out for her and with a smile, she sat down.

"Ellie would you like some ice cream?" he asked, turning to the older girl.

"Sure, I guess," Ellie replied, still grinning at her little sister's antics. Catherine began to rummage in her bag for some money, but Remus held up a hand.

"My treat, Catherine," he said and he gestured for Ellie to go ahead of him into the ice cream shop. Catherine smiled as she watched the two. Remus asked Ellie something and the girl tucked her hair behind her ear before blushing and answering.

"Mum, you should have seen this shop, it was so wicked!" Rory said excitedly, pulling Catherine's attention back to the table. "They had all these brooms, some of them were so fast! And Remus told me all about Quidditch, I can't wait to play when I get to Hogwarts. I wish I was going this year." He finished, his face moving from excited into a pout.

"I have no doubt you'll make your house Quidditch team," Catherine smiled at her son, ruffling his hair. "And you don't have that long to wait."

"Two years, that's forever," Rory complained.

"Well, maybe I can check into going to a real Quidditch match," Catherine said as she wiped a bit of ice cream off Miranda's chin.

"Oh Mum, could we really?" Rory asked, beginning to bounce up and down in his chair.

"We'll see, all right?" she said, smoothing a hand through his hair again.

"Mummy, I like Mr. Remus. He let me hold his hand the whole time and he lifted me up when I couldn't see in the broom shop. He's nice," Miranda finished taking another bite of ice cream. Catherine chuckled.

"Yes, he's very nice," she agreed. "It's a good thing we ran into him, isn't it?" She stroked a hand through her daughter's curls, bittersweet smile on her face. She pushed those thoughts away however as Remus and Ellie returned, Ellie with a dish of ice cream in hand. They were talking animatedly about something and Catherine smiled again.

"I was just telling Ellie a bit about my class," Remus explained as the pair sat down at the table.

"I still can't believe you're going to be a professor," Catherine said shaking her head.

"I'm not sure if I should be offended by that comment or not," Remus replied, smirking at her.

"I guess I just keep thinking of you as 18," Catherine explained.

"Then you'll understand my surprise at seeing you with three children," he returned and Catherine smiled.

"I suppose that was a bit of a shock," she admitted.

"A pleasant one though, to be sure," Remus said and he squeezed her hand where it lay on the table. Catherine felt her eyes begin to burn and quickly busied herself with cleaning Miranda's face. Rory had been keeping Ellie entertained with his tales of the Quidditch shop and with Miranda's complete engrossment in her ice cream, Catherine was sure the three hadn't noticed anything.

"Are the three of you about finished?" Catherine asked. "We still have to pick out Ellie's owl." Her children all nodded, Ellie wiping her face on a napkin as Rory used his arm once again. Catherine rolled her eyes and shook her head at her son, but she couldn't help but smile.

"Well, I suppose I should be on my way," Remus said as he stood and Catherine looked at him stricken for a moment. She didn't want to lose contact with him again, not when there was still so much for them to talk about.

"Will you come to the house for dinner tomorrow?" she asked quickly. He looked at her for a moment, then nodded.

"Perhaps I'll get to hear that very long story you mentioned," he said quietly.

"Perhaps," she agreed with a small smile. "Around seven?" He nodded. "Oh, wait, how will you get there?"

"Apparate of course," Remus said with a bit of amusement in his eyes.

"Yes, I realize that," Catherine said dryly. "I meant how will you know where to go?"

"I've been there before," he said. "With," he trailed off, looking at Catherine apologetically. She nodded her throat tight. "He wanted me to know, in case you needed help and he wasn't,"

"It's fine Remus, you don't have to explain," Catherine interrupted. He reached out and squeezed her arm gently. She straightened her shoulders and smiled at him, then turned back to the children. "We'll see you tomorrow then."

"I'm looking forward to it," Remus smiled and turned to the children. "It was wonderful to meet all of you, I'll see you again tomorrow."

"Bye Mr. Remus," Miranda said, running forward and hugging him around the legs. Remus chuckled and patted her on the head.

"Thanks for taking me to the Quidditch shop," Rory said.

"You're very welcome, Rory," Remus replied. "Ellie," he said, giving the girl a nod, which she returned. He turned to Catherine and hugged her quickly. "I'll see you tomorrow." Catherine tightened her smile and nodded as she watched him walk away.

"All right you three, let's go and get Ellie an owl, shall we?" she asked and the children fell into step beside her, making their way to Eeylops. Ellie chose a medium-sized tawny owl and insisted on carrying the cage herself. Catherine had to explain again to Miranda why Ellie needed an owl in the first place and made a vow to herself to bring more of the magical world into their lives on a daily basis.

They made their way back to the Leaky Cauldron, the children all suitably impressed when Catherine remembered the brick sequence so they could get back into the pub. As they entered back into muggle London, Catherine found herself both anticipating and dreading the dinner with Remus the next evening. As much as she wanted to know what had happened to Sirius, there was another part of her that was afraid to be hurt all over again. Still, she was very glad she had run into Remus. She had missed him very much. She thought of trying to send out Ellie's owl to find Myra as well, but decided to wait a bit on that until she'd gotten more information from Remus about everything that had been happening over the last 15 years. The letter in her bag lay completely forgotten.

* * *

**29 July 1993**

Catherine wiped her hands on the apron of her mother's she was wearing as she finished the shepherd's pie she was making and put it into the oven. She remembered that it had always been one of Remus' favorites back at school and hoped it still was.

"Why don't you let me finish up in here?" her mother said, entering the kitchen. "Rory is very nearly driving me mad quoting statistics from his new book." Catherine chuckled. When they had arrived home and she had enlarged all of their packages, she had found a book on Quidditch amongst the school books. Rory had whooped and grabbed it, explaining he had seen it in the Quidditch shop and wished he'd had money with him to buy it. Remus must have purchased it himself and then put it in with Ellie's school things. Catherine had caught Rory under his covers reading the book by torch when she had gone up to bed the night before. Since he had gotten up that morning, he had been reading off facts to anyone who would listen. His sisters had tired of it long ago and it seemed his grandmother had become his new target.

"Sorry about that Mum," Catherine said with a grin and her mother just rolled her eyes. Catherine took off her apron and walked out into the lounge. Her son was sitting engrossed in his book, smiling at the moving pictures.

"Mum, you have to come look at this!" he exclaimed as he noticed his mother walk into the room. Catherine smiled and went and sat down next to him on the couch. He pointed excitedly to a picture in the book and Catherine watched as one player dove straight toward the ground, a second following quickly behind. The first pulled up at the absolute last second, while the second crashed into the ground. "It's called a Wronski Feint," Rory continued. "Isn't it brilliant?"

"Rory Thomas if I EVER see you trying something like that you will be grounded for life," Catherine declared, shuddering as the second player hit the ground once again.

"Aw, Mum, you're no fun," Rory complained. "I could do that if I practiced."

"Oh no you will not young man," Catherine insisted, her heart still racing at the thought of her son on a broom. Rory pouted, flipping the page on his book and grumbled under his breath. "What was that?" Catherine asked.

"Nothing, Mum," Rory said with a sigh. Catherine hid the grin that tried to break over her face just as she heard a knock on the front door. "Remus!" Rory exclaimed and he jumped up from the couch and raced to the door, Catherine following behind. She reached the front hall, just as Rory flung the door open, very nearly attacking Remus in the process.

"Rory, goodness, let the man breathe," Catherine said, as she came up behind her son. Rory stepped back and Catherine gestured Remus inside.

"Good evening, Catherine," he said as he came into the house. Catherine smiled as she closed the door.

"Hello, Remus," she replied.

"Rory," Remus said with a nod. Catherine nudged her son, who had buried his nose in his book again.

"Thanks for the book Remus," Rory said with a smile. "It's excellent!"

"I thought you might like it," Remus replied smiling.

"Yes, thanks so much for that," Catherine said dryly. "We all know more than we ever wanted to about Quidditch now." Remus looked at her innocently. She shook her head and led him into the lounge. "Would you like a glass of wine?"

"That would be lovely, thank you," Remus said, sitting down on the couch. Catherine went into the kitchen and poured the wine. When she returned, Rory had reclaimed Remus' attention and Remus was currently explaining what looked like a Quidditch maneuver to the boy. Catherine smiled as her eyes misted, knowing just how much Rory had missed out on not having a father in his life.

"Here you are," she said, handing a glass to Remus, which he took with a smile. "My mother is just finishing up in the kitchen." The two chatted about inconsequential things, joined shortly by the girls who had been upstairs when Remus arrived. Miranda wormed her way in between Rory and Remus, glaring at her brother when he protested. Remus chuckled as the boy immediately backed down and looked up at Catherine who simply shrugged and looked sheepish.

"You remind me very much of your mother," Remus said to the little girl, to which Miranda smiled.

"Grandma tells me that all the time," Miranda informed him and Remus laughed.

"Did I hear someone mention my name?" Jane asked as she came into the room. Remus and Catherine both stood as Jane approached.

"Remus, this is my mother, Jane Powell," Catherine said. "Mum, Remus Lupin." The two shook hands.

"Very pleased to meet you," Remus said, nodding at the older woman.

"Likewise," Jane replied. "Dinner is just about ready. Ellie would you set the table please?"

"Sure Grandma," Ellie said, jumping up and going to the dining room.

"You two, go and wash up now," Jane told the two younger children and they scrambled off the couch and ran into the loo, arguing as to who got to go first. Catherine shook her head as they ran off and Remus grinned at her.

"I'll bet there's never a dull moment around here," he said.

"That's an understatement," Catherine chuckled. "But I wouldn't trade them for anything." He nodded, a wistful look in his eyes, and Catherine wondered what had happened to Mary McDonald.

"Shall we?" he asked, holding out his arm to her once again.

"We shall," she replied, taking it and leading him to the table.

* * *

Dinner was a somewhat noisy affair, not that most meals were quiet with her three children, Catherine thought in amusement. Remus was, of course, the center of the conversation. All three of her children, as well as her mother, seemed fascinated by his descriptions and explanations of the curriculum of the various years of his class.

When they had finished dessert and the children had cleared the table, Catherine sent the three of them up to bed, despite their protestations.

"But, Mum," Rory complained. "I wanted to ask Remus more about Quidditch."

"You've talked plenty of Quidditch for one day, Rory," Catherine replied, shooing him toward the stairs as Remus chuckled in the background. "Now, take your shower and get into bed. I'll be up in a bit to tuck you in."

"Mu-um," Rory protested, giving her a meaningful glare and then glancing at Remus. Catherine bit the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing.

"Sorry, I mean I'll be up to say good night," she replied and then ruffled his hair before she could stop herself. His eyes narrowed and he gave her his best "death" look before turning and stomping up the stairs, muttering under his breath. She shook her head and grinned as she watched him go, then turned back to Remus when she heard soft laughter.

"Well, now that I've thoroughly embarrassed him, I suppose I should go and help my mother with the dishes," Catherine said with a smile.

"Why don't you go up and tuck in your children and I'll help your mother," Remus said, rising from his chair.

"Nonsense Remus, you're our guest," Catherine admonished.

"A guest who is perfectly able to pick up a dish towel," he replied. "Not to mention wave a wand and save all of us the trouble."

"She won't let you," Catherine said, smirking at him. "And we have a dishwasher."

"Are you doubting my powers of persuasion and charm?" he asked, twinkle in his eye. Catherine cocked her head and pretended to study him.

"That's exactly what I'm doing," she said cheekily, crossing her arms in front of her.

"Well, I'll take that as a challenge then," he replied. "Shall we discuss terms?"

"All right," Catherine agreed. Remus tapped his chin with his finger for a moment.

"If I convince your mother to let me use magic to clean the dishes, you owe me one 'very long story'," he replied.

"And if you can't?" Catherine asked. Remus spread his hands in front of him, gesturing for her to make her own terms. Catherine thought for a moment, then said, "If you can't, you have to come back in the very near future and talk Quidditch with Rory. All day." He chuckled and then nodded.

"Very well," he said. "I agree to your terms."

"And I to yours," she replied, inclining her head towards him. He gave her a wink, then walked toward the kitchen door. Catherine made her way towards the stairs and began to climb, laughing under her breath at the argument she could currently hear going on in the kitchen.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, Catherine walked into the kitchen, expecting to see a very unsuccessful Remus Lupin. She was, therefore, shocked to see Remus and her mother sitting at the kitchen table sipping cups of tea while the plates and silverware washed and dried themselves in the sink. She looked from Remus to her mother, her mouth hanging open in shock.

"The children all down then?" Remus asked nonchalantly as he took another sip of tea, looking up innocently at her. Catherine's eyes narrowed and she turned to her mother who looked just as innocent.

"You two conspired against me, didn't you?" she asked.

"Catherine, I'm sure I don't know what you mean," her mother replied. "Remus was kind enough to offer to do the dishes by magic and I saw no reason not to acquiesce to his request." Catherine rolled her eyes and shook her head as Remus' eyes sparkled with laughter. Catherine crossed her arms and huffed at the two of them.

"Oh don't pout dear," her mother said, rising from the table and patting Catherine lightly on the cheek. "It really doesn't become you." Catherine glared at her and her mother chuckled. "I think I'll turn in as well. It was very wonderful to meet you Remus," she said, turning to him as he rose from the table as well. "I do hope you'll come back again."

"It would be my pleasure," he said and clasped her hand in his briefly.

"Good night Catherine," Jane said.

"Night, Mum," Catherine replied. Once her mother had left the room, Catherine rounded on Remus. "It doesn't count if you cheat, you know," she said and he grinned.

"There weren't any rules laid down as to how I was to convince her just that I had to" he answered.

"I see you're still a Marauder through and through," Catherine said without thinking. As soon as the words left her mouth she stiffened. Remus looked at her sadly and said nothing. She turned and took a deep breath, then planted a smile on her face and looked back at him. "I would have told you anyway, you know. There didn't have to be a bet."

"I know," he said and smiled back, although she could see that it was forced.

"Would you like to sit outside in the garden?" she asked.

"Sounds lovely," he replied as Catherine moved to the counter to pour herself another glass of wine. She held the bottle up to Remus and he nodded and she poured one for him as well. She opened the back door and the two sat down at the small table on the patio. They sat in silence for a few moments and then Catherine tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and turned to Remus.

"So what do you want to know?" she asked. Remus shrugged.

"Whatever you want to tell me." Catherine nodded, but did not reply. After another few seconds of silence, Remus spoke again.

"You know, Catherine, you don't have to tell me anything," he said. "It's none of my business." Catherine reached across the table and put a hand on his arm.

"It's not that and I do want to tell you," she replied, giving him a sad smile. "It's only that the story isn't so wonderful, not all of it anyway. It's a bit difficult to figure out where to start." She sighed and took a sip of wine, then looked up at him again. "I don't really remember much about the rest of that school year after," she paused and swallowed, "everything that happened. "A part of me, broke, I guess you could say. I rarely laughed, I didn't care much about anything, I just sort of existed, you know? I know my parents were worried. Even Galena disappeared on me. I went to the park the day after Christmas. I wanted to send your gift and Myra's as well, but I couldn't find her. I went back every day for two weeks but she never came back. I felt abandoned all over again and I couldn't understand why she had left me too. I just sort of shut down after that. I lived in a haze most of the time. When I wasn't at school I was in my room. I ended up having to tell my mum what happened, with…him. I don't know if she told my father or not." Catherine stopped and stared off into the distance for a minute, idly playing with the stem of her wine glass.

"Catherine, he," Remus began, but she shook her head.

"No, I can't talk about that," she said. "Just please, let me just get through this."

"All right," he agreed and took her hand, squeezing it gently. She smiled gratefully and continued.

"I actually thought about coming back still, once I'd turned 17. I debated for over a week after my birthday and finally made up my mind to do it. So one day I skipped school and went into London instead. I made it all the way inside the Leaky Cauldron before I changed my mind," she said."

"What happened?" he asked.

"Well, once I got there, I realized I didn't have much of a plan," she admitted. "Or a wand. I had a bit of money, so I thought I'd go and buy a new one. But I didn't have nearly enough for more than a few nights at the Leaky and even if I could find a job, it would take much longer than that to be able to afford a flat. I thought about contacting Myra, but she was still at school and even if she would agree to help me, I knew her mother would never let me hide out there. She and my mother had been good friends once and Mrs. MacKenzie's guilt wouldn't let her keep it from my mother. I'd never met Sharon or Elena's families and even though Professor Dumbledore had told me I could contact him if I ever needed anything, somehow, I didn't think this situation was what he meant. So that just left you." She looked up and smiled sadly at him. "You and I both know the reason I didn't try and get in touch with you." He simply nodded, not looking at her.

"So I sat there for a bit longer, hoping that maybe someone I knew would come in, that maybe they would have some other idea for me. Finally, I decided that it was over," she finished. "I'm not sure why I didn't try harder, I just, I don't know. It wasn't the same anymore. I couldn't go back to school and without you or, or him, well," she trailed off looking at the tabletop.

"I'm sorry Catherine," Remus said sadly, squeezing her hand. She shrugged.

"It's strange, you know," she finally continued. "I look back now and think to myself what a coward I was and how I just should have done something, figured something out."

"You weren't a coward, you were a 17 year old girl," Remus reminded her.

"An adult, according to the magical world," she said and he shook his head.

"Merlin, I shudder to think of the things we did as 'adults' while we were still in school," he said. "We were no more adults than Ellie is. 17 is just a number, it doesn't mean you're actually ready for that kind of responsibility."

"Well, regardless, I still might have come back, after a time, if things hadn't happened the way that they did," she continued. Remus looked at her quizzically. "I went back home and things continued on as they had been. I somehow made it through the rest of that school year with relatively decent grades. Once summer came, I retreated to my room again, but my mother was constantly badgering me to do something, so I took to roaming the neighborhood. I couldn't go back to the park." She gave him a sad smile and he squeezed her hand again.

"This is really the start of the story," she said. "Are you sure you're ready?" He nodded and Catherine began.


	19. Slipping Away

**A/N - Next chapter and it's a long one! This is the beginning of the 2nd story arc, you will finally find out the whole story behind Catherine's marriage. A few warnings here - Catherine may seem OOC in parts and that is purposeful because she actually is (hence the chapter title). You will find out the reasons for this as we go along, some are introduced in this chapter. Second, things may seem to be moving too quickly during the flashbacks, so please be mindful of the dates. I am making larger jumps in time now and just hitting the important points of Catherine and Daniel's story. Enjoy and thanks for continuing to read and review!**

**Chapter 19**

**Slipping Away**

**7 July 1979**

Catherine sat on a large rock at the corner of the driveway of the house next door, watching the movers as they unloaded furniture and boxes. She hadn't seen anyone besides the workers, but she heard a woman call from inside the house from time to time and two different voices answer her. Catherine wasn't particularly interested in how many people were moving in or if there were children or not, she was just watching to have something to do. She was tired of her mother nagging her every day and she had no desire to look for a job or sign up for a class or a camp. In fact she had no real desire to do anything except lie on her bed and stare at the wall. There was a part of Catherine that knew that it wasn't healthy, the way she had been acting these last months, but the larger part of her couldn't bring herself to care. Still, it was nice to sit here in the sun and she leaned back a bit on the rock, closing her eyes and lifting her face to the sky.

So involved was she in her thoughts, that she didn't hear the figure walking towards her until a shadow fell over her face. She opened her eyes and gasped, jumping back when she realized someone was standing in front of her. She stumbled on the rock and began to fall before the person in front of her grabbed her arm and steadied her.

"I'm sorry," he said, as she looked up at him. "I didn't mean to frighten you." Catherine pulled her arm from his grasp and took a few steps backward.

"No, no, it was my fault," she said, trying to look anywhere but at his face, knowing hers was bright red." I wasn't paying attention, I'm sorry, and I, um, I, I have to go," she said and she turned and began to walk away.

"Wait," he called and she kept walking even as she heard him hurrying behind her. Catherine's heart began to beat quickly in her chest and the familiar fear of being pursued came over her until she was running. He called out to her again, but Catherine didn't turn back, just ran until she reached her house, running inside and slamming the door behind her. She wrapped her arms around herself and her eyes began to dart around the room, her breathing coming in heaving gasps.

"Catherine?" her mother called, walking out of the kitchen, drying her hands on a towel. "Catherine?" she asked again as she took in the sight of her daughter, out of breath and looking terrified. "Sweetheart, what happened?" she asked as she approached the girl slowly. Catherine looked up at her mother and felt utterly foolish. She was in her own house with her own mother, nothing was going to hurt her here. Slowly Catherine stood up straight, unwrapping her arms from around her thin frame and forcing her breathing to slow.

"Sorry Mum, I was just startled," Catherine said sheepishly, tucking her hair behind her ear. Her mother had reached her by this time and Catherine forced herself to remain still as her mother brought a hand to her cheek. Jane smiled and Catherine returned it, finally allowing her body to relax.

"What startled you?" her mother asked, putting an arm around her daughter's shoulders and leading her into the kitchen. Catherine sat down at the table and her mother poured her a glass of lemonade, setting it down in front of her. Catherine shrugged and her mother gave her a look.

"Did you know someone was moving into the vacant house at the end of the street?" Catherine asked, ignoring her mother's look.

"No, I didn't," her mother replied. "Is that where you were?" Catherine nodded as she sipped the lemonade.

"I was sitting on that rock by the Smith's driveway, watching the movers. I must have gotten carried away by my thoughts because someone came up to me and I didn't notice until they were right there," Catherine stopped and looked down at the table, tracing the water ring the condensation on her glass had left. She knew that her mother would know what she meant.

"I see," her mother said and Catherine glanced up at her and saw her mother worrying her lip. Catherine knew that she was concerned. When her parents had first brought her home from Hogwarts she had been this way, jumpy and scared of her own shadow. She had gotten better over time, but ever since, well, December, Catherine had reverted to her previous uneasiness. Her mother had wanted to take her to talk to someone, but Catherine refused and her father had, surprisingly, sided with her. Catherine knew this was mostly because he was trying to get back into her good graces, but she didn't much care what his reasons were. Catherine knew she could never tell anyone the real story about how she was attacked and she just didn't have the energy to keep up a half-truth. Her mother let it go, but Catherine knew she still worried.

"It was stupid," Catherine said shaking her head. "He just caught me by surprise, is all."

"It wasn't stupid," her mother replied and she sat down next to her daughter, putting her arm back around her shoulders. Catherine laid her head on her mother's shoulder and sighed. "He, you say?" her mother inquired.

"Yeah," Catherine replied. Her brow furrowed as she tried to remember what the person had looked like. "I think he was around my age," she said. "Young, anyway."

"Perhaps it's a family with children," her mother continued and Catherine shrugged again. The two sat there for a few more minutes in silence, Jane idly running a hand through Catherine's hair. She placed a kiss on top of her daughter's head and then stood. Catherine looked up in puzzlement as her mother began to pull flour and sugar from the cupboard, then opened the refrigerator and took out butter and eggs.

"What are you doing?" Catherine asked.

"Making biscuits of course," Jane replied as she pulled a large bowl from the cupboard. "What better way to welcome new neighbors?" Catherine just rolled her eyes, but got up to help her mother all the same.

* * *

A few hours later, Catherine found herself walking back down the street once more, holding a plate of biscuits this time, her mother next to her. She was a bit annoyed with her mother, actually. She was still completely mortified about how she had behaved earlier and if the boy who had startled her lived at the house, well, Catherine shuddered just thinking about it.

When they reached the house, the lorry was gone and Catherine and her mother climbed the few steps to the front door and rang the bell. "I'll get it Mum," Catherine heard someone yell and then a teenage girl opened the door.

"Hello," Jane said with a smile. "I'm Jane Powell and this is my daughter Catherine. We live down the street and we wanted to come and welcome you to the neighborhood." Catherine thrust the plate at the girl.

"Oh, wow, thanks," the girl said smiling. "Please, come in."

"Oh, we don't want to intrude," Jane insisted. "I'm sure you're awfully busy."

"It's all right," the girl assured her as she opened the door wider. "I'll just get my mum." Jane and Catherine watched her walk back towards the kitchen and Catherine began to shift nervously from foot to foot. Jane put a hand on her arm to still her and Catherine began to wind her hair around her finger instead. Before the girl returned with her mother, a boy entered the hall. The same boy that Catherine had run away from a few hours before. Catherine gaped at him, then looked at her shoes, her face blooming into a most impressive shade of red.

"Hello," the boy said and smiled. Catherine continued to look at the floor as her mother softly nudged her with an elbow. Before her mother could say anything the girl was back with an older woman in tow.

"Here they are Mum," the girl said and the woman looked at Jane and Catherine.

"I'm Nora Cooper," the woman said. "My children, Sarah and Daniel."

"Very nice to meet you," Jane replied, shaking Nora's hand. "I'm Jane Powell and this is my daughter Catherine. We live down the street."

"Yes, so my daughter said," Nora said, seeming to size Jane up and down. "Thank you for the biscuits. If I had any containers unpacked I would give you back your plate." The woman's tone was just on this side of condescending. Jane's smile faltered for just a second and Catherine doubted anyone but she had noticed.

"Oh it's quite all right," Jane answered. "Keep it as long as you need. Well, I suppose we should be going and let you get back to your work. If you need anything we're just down at 647. Welcome to the neighborhood." Nora simply nodded and turned back toward the kitchen, leaving her children to show them out. Catherine glanced up at Sarah who rolled her eyes in exasperation at her mother. Catherine gave her a small half-smile as she opened the door.

"Thanks so much for the biscuits Mrs. Powell," Sarah said as they stepped back outside. "Sorry about Mum, she's a bit stressed about the move and Dad is in Germany right now for work."

"It's quite all right Sarah," Jane replied. "We probably should have waited a day or two to let you all get settled in. If you need anything or have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask."

"We will, thanks," Sarah said brightly and giving the two of them a smile, closed the door behind them.

"Well she was rather rude," Catherine said once they were a few houses away.

"Who, Mrs. Cooper?" Jane asked and Catherine nodded. "Well, we probably shouldn't have bothered them so soon. And her daughter was very pleasant. Was that the boy that frightened you earlier?" Catherine just nodded and her mother wrapped an arm around her waist. "Don't worry about it sweetheart, he's probably forgotten all about it by now."

* * *

Two days later, Catherine was in her room reading when there was a knock at the door. Her father was at work and her mother had run to the market. Sighing, Catherine set her book down on her bed and went downstairs to answer. When she pulled the door open, Daniel Cooper stood on the front step.

"Hello," he said, just as he had when Catherine had been in his house. She couldn't help the blush that stained her cheeks.

"Um, hi," she stammered back. He held a plate in front of him.

"I just wanted to bring this back," he said. "The biscuits were really good."

"Oh, thanks," Catherine replied, taking the plate that he held out to her. "And you're welcome."

"Did you make them?" he asked, smiling at her again.

"Well, I helped a bit, but it was mostly my mum," Catherine admitted. "She's a great cook." He nodded, shoving his hands into his pockets and the two stood in awkward silence for a few moments.

"I'm sorry for startling you the other day," he finally said.

"That's okay," Catherine mumbled. "It was my fault anyway. Daydreaming."

"Still, I shouldn't have snuck up on you like that," he said. Catherine just shrugged. "Do you," he stopped and looked at her again, seeming a bit unsure of himself. "Do you want to take a walk or something?"

"Um, I don't know if I should," Catherine replied. "My parents aren't home right now."

"Oh, well, okay," he replied, looking a bit disappointed. "I was just thinking that maybe you could tell me about the school here and stuff. It's okay though, maybe some other time."

"No, that's all right," Catherine said, feeling a bit sorry for him and forgetting her earlier embarrassment. "Maybe we could just sit here and talk." She indicated the front step and Daniel smiled at her and nodded and the two sat down.

"So, how old are you?" he asked.

"Seventeen," she replied. "I'm going into my last year."

"Same here," he said.

"What about your sister?" Catherine asked.

"She's just a year behind us," Daniel replied.

"Where did you move from?" Catherine wondered.

"Germany, this time," he said.

"This time?" Catherine echoed.

"We move around a lot because of my dad's job," he explained. We haven't been in England for about six years though. We've been in Germany and the States the last few years."

"Really? Wow," Catherine said. "It must be really interesting, living in all those different places." But Daniel shrugged.

"Sometimes," he said. "But we're supposed to be here for good now. Mum told Dad she wasn't going to move again. Sorry about her by the way. I know she was sort of rude the other day."

"It's all right," Catherine assured him. "We should have waited until you had settled in a bit to come over." They spent the next half hour discussing where he had lived and the school Catherine went to.

"You must have loads of friends," Daniel said and one point and Catherine snorted.

"No, not really," she admitted.

"I don't believe that," he said, bumping her shoulder with his. Catherine shrugged.

"It's true," she said. "I went to a boarding school until a little over a year ago. I haven't really made any friends since I've been back."

"Boarding school where?" he asked and Catherine bit her lip.

"In France," she lied. He hadn't said they had lived in France, so Catherine hoped that he wouldn't be familiar with the schools there.

"Why did you come back?" he asked. Catherine began to wind a lock of hair around her fingers.

"Some things just happened and my parents decided it would be better if I were at home," she replied. Daniel was silent for a moment, studying her and then he nodded his head.

"Well, you've got a friend now," he said and smiled at her. Catherine blushed and ducked her head.

"Thanks," she said softly and then looked up and saw her mother coming up the drive. Daniel stood and hurried to her mother's side, taking the bags she was carrying.

"Let me get those for you Mrs. Powell," he said and began to carry them up to the front door.

"Why thank you, Daniel wasn't it?" Jane said and the boy nodded. Catherine stood and opened the door, directing Daniel into the kitchen. He placed the bags on the counter and then turned to the two women.

"Well, I'd better be going," he said. "Thanks again for the biscuits Mrs. Powell and for the talk Catherine." She smiled and walked with him to the front door.

"Maybe we could take that walk tomorrow?" he asked and she nodded.

"I'd like that," she said.

* * *

**29 July 1993**

"He came back the next day and the day after that and the day after that," Catherine said to Remus as she floated back to the present. "Sometimes Sarah came with us too, but it was mostly just the two of us. We took walks or sat in the garden and talked. I went to his house sometimes, but his mother really didn't get any nicer. She was polite, but in a condescending kind of way." Remus nodded in understanding.

"Anyway, my whole summer was filled with Daniel. I wasn't sure how I felt about him really. I mean, I liked him, but there wasn't any overpowering emotion that seemed to go along with it. My parents were thrilled of course. I was out of the house and they adored Daniel. He was very polite and helpful. There was always something, though, that made me wonder. It was almost as if he were too perfect, you know?" Catherine looked to Remus.

"A bit too smooth?" he asked and she nodded.

"Yes, that was it, although at the time I couldn't have named it. And I wasn't looking for a boyfriend either," she said, her voice wavering a bit. She cleared her throat and continued. "But I did consider him my friend, Sarah as well. She was very sweet and had the best sense of humor. I often wondered where she had gotten it from given the mother she had. Until I met their father, that is. He wasn't home all that often, travelled a lot for work, but I got invited to dinner the first time he came back into town and I could see where Sarah had gotten her personality. Honestly, to this day I don't know why on earth he married their mother." Catherine shook her head.

"Anyway, school started again and I wasn't so depressed about going this time. Daniel was in a few of my classes and Sarah and I ate lunch at the same time. They both made friends quickly, Daniel was always surrounded by a crowd of people. Sarah was as well, although with her, I could understand why. With Daniel though, I didn't really get it at first. So I started watching him when he didn't know I was there. He seemed like a different person. He exuded this confidence that he never showed to me. When it was just the two of us it seemed like there was always this undercurrent of nervousness with him." Catherine pursed her lips and her brow furrowed in thought.

"It's hard to explain really, but it was almost as if he was able to draw people in by sheer charisma. And he seemed to be able to manipulate people to do what he wanted. He never did anything wrong exactly, it was more like little favors and things like that. But, it bothered me. I wasn't sure which person was the real one, you know? So one day, I finally asked him."

* * *

**13 October 1979**

Daniel was walking Catherine to her house after school. They had planned to study together, but Catherine was hesitant, her confusion at his personality and behavior bothering her more and more.

"Something wrong?" he finally asked, after they had walked in silence for quite some time. Catherine looked at him from the corner of her eye and shrugged.

"Why do you ask?" she said.

"You've been awfully quiet our whole walk home," he replied. "That's not like you." They had reached Catherine's driveway now, but before Daniel could turn and walk up it, she stopped him with a hand to his arm.

"I just don't understand you," she finally said and he looked at her blankly. "It's like you're two different people when we're at school and when it's just the two of us. When you're around everyone else there's this confidence, this, this almost, power, and I'm not sure if I like it. When it's just you and I, none of that is there. I can't figure out which one is the real you." He looked at her for a moment, then sighed rubbing a hand along the back of his neck nervously.

"So you figured out my secret," he said and her brow furrowed in confusion.

"Can we sit down?" he asked, gesturing to the front steps. Catherine nodded and they climbed the steps, sitting down on the top one. "It's just moving around so much, having to make new friends all the time, it's difficult. And I've sort of discovered that acting the way I have been draws people to you and it's easier to make friends that way. At least you have people to do things with, you know?"

"I guess, but I'd rather only have a friend or two and know that they were real friends than a bunch of superficial ones," she shrugged.

"That's why I've always known you were much braver than me," he said and reached out and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. Catherine felt her face heat and her skin tingle where he had touched it. "But with you, I don't have to pretend," he continued quietly. "I'm always myself when I'm around you." He had moved very close to Catherine while he had been talking and was now only inches from her. She hitched in a breath and blinked, her stomach feeling as if a thousand butterflies were fluttering in it. He stared at her for a second and then closed the remaining distance between them, bringing his lips to hers. Catherine froze for a moment and just as it seemed as if he were going to pull away, she put a hand to the back of his head and kissed him back. His arms wrapped around her shoulders and it wasn't until he pulled her closer to him that Catherine came back to herself.

She pulled away from him, a little more forcefully than she had intended, and he looked at her, startled. She brought her fingers to her lips and stared at him, breathing heavily. And then she jumped up, gathered up her bag and ran into her house. As the door slammed behind her, she heard him calling her name, but Catherine ignored it and ran up the stairs to her room. She threw herself on her bed and burst into tears, her fingers still ghosting over her lips, feeling as if the guilt inside her would eat away her very soul. Her mother came into her room minutes later.

"Catherine, what on earth?" she asked as she sunk down next to her crying daughter on the bed. But Catherine didn't answer, simply shook her head and cried harder. "Daniel is still outside," her mother said and Catherine's head whipped up, fear in her eyes.

"No, I don't want to see him, send him home, Mum," she begged and Jane's eyes narrowed in concern.

"Sweetheart, what happened?" she asked her voice gentle, but insistent. Catherine shook her head and rolled to her back, looking up at the ceiling. She sniffed and swiped away her tears with her hand.

"He, kissed me," she said quietly and Jane sat up straight on the bed. Catherine could tell she was trying not to overreact.

"Against your will?" her mother finally managed to say.

"No," Catherine replied and she could see her mother's posture relax. "I think that I wanted him to."

"Then I'm not sure I understand the problem," Jane said gently. Catherine shook her head and turned away from her mother, picking at a stray thread on her blanket.

"I feel guilty," she mumbled, hoping her mother wouldn't hear her.

"What do you have to feel guilty about?" Jane asked and Catherine could hear the confusion in her voice. She shrugged her shoulders. "This isn't about Sirius, is it?" Jane finally said and at the sound of his name Catherine's felt something pierce her heart and the tears returned. Jane sighed and ran a hand through her daughter's unruly hair.

"Catherine you have nothing to feel guilty about. He's the one that broke it off with you, remember? Has he even tried to contact you since?" Catherine shook her head. "Then I don't understand sweetheart."

"Because Mum," Catherine said, her breath hitching. "I still love him and how can I like someone else when I still love _him_?" She began crying in earnest again and Jane gathered her daughter into her arms.

"Like I told you back in December, there's a probably a little part of you that will always love him," her mother soothed. "He was the first boy that you ever loved, after all. But that doesn't mean that you can't love someone else. And besides, no one is talking about love here anyway. It was just one kiss, yes?" Catherine nodded.

"But I wanted him to kiss me again," she whispered and her mother chuckled.

"That just means that you are a normal teenaged girl," Jane said. "And I, for one, am glad for it." She took her daughter's chin in her hand and smiled at her. Catherine returned it and then took the tissue her mother offered and wiped her face. "Now, I think there is a very confused young man outside that you may want to go and talk to." Catherine nodded, but before she stood, threw her arms around her mother and squeezed.

"Love you Mum," she said and her mother patted her back and kissed her cheek.

"And I you," Jane replied, smiling at Catherine.

Catherine slowly walked down the stairs and toward the front door, knowing her face was bright red, but unsure how to stop it. She opened the door and Daniel spun around, concern and guilt on his face.

"Catherine, I'm sorry, I," but Catherine held up a hand to stop him.

"Daniel, wait, just, I need to tell you something," she said and he nodded. Catherine looked down at her feet for a moment before taking a deep breath and looking up at him. "I'm sorry that I reacted the way I did. It's nothing to do with you. It's just that, well, I was dating someone from my old school and it didn't end well and I guess you just took me by surprise and well, I acted like an idiot and I'm sorry." She said the last in a rush and then began to twist her hair around her finger as he looked at her.

"It's all right," he said. "I should have asked you or something or just, I don't know." He looked very nervous. "If you don't feel that way about me, I understand and I still want to be your friend. But I'll understand if you don't want to and," before he could continue, Catherine stepped forward and grabbed the front of his jacket and pulled him towards her, kissing him once again. His eyes went wide for a moment, then he smiled and began to kiss her back. When they pulled apart she looked up at him.

"Does that answer your question?" she asked and he grinned.

"Yes, I think that it does," he said.

"Come on," she said, taking his hand and turning back towards the house. "I think we had some studying to do." He smiled and followed her, closing the door behind him with a quiet click.

* * *

**29 July 1993**

"We were pretty inseparable after that," Catherine said, smiling nervously at Remus. She was unsure how he was going to take this part of the story. Sirius had been one of his best mates after all. "That piece of me that was broken, Daniel helped fix it." Catherine looked down at her lap. "I don't think I really realized just how hurt I had been or how alone I had felt until I wasn't anymore." She looked back up at Remus and gave him a wan smile. "Unfortunately, that gratitude I felt clouded my judgment about a few things." She stood and walked to the edge of the patio, crossing her arms in front of her and looking out into the night. "It made me overlook things that Daniel did or said or pretend that they weren't what I thought they were. I was so desperate to hold onto the new happiness that I had found, that I convinced myself I was overreacting when something he did gave me pause. Pathetic, huh?" she asked, not turning back to Remus.

She heard him rise behind her, heard him cross the patio and come to stand next to her and still she did not look at him. He sidled in close to her until their arms were brushing against each other and she felt herself lean into him. He tentatively put an arm around her and she leaned her head on his shoulder.

"I think we've all made decisions that, given the circumstances at the time, were the best ones we could make. And I think that some of those we might come to regret once we're older and wiser." She looked at him and the look in his eyes made her think that he might be talking about something specific with those words. But in the next instant it was gone. "You were 17 Catherine, so no, I don't think you were pathetic," Remus said.

"Hold onto that thought because you just might change your mind," she replied and he gave her shoulder a squeeze.

"Not likely," he responded and she chuckled. The stood in silence for a few moments before she straightened and moved away from him a bit. Remus let her go, knowing that she needed her space, but he didn't return to the table. She looked out into the garden again.

"I told you about the charisma and the manipulations," she began. "He didn't use that with me, not at first, and even when he started to it was so subtle that I didn't see it for what it was until years later. Having experienced his mother and her attitude and the way she spoke to and about people, I shouldn't have been surprised really, that Daniel would become an extension of her. But, as I said, I didn't see it at the time. It started out with little things, where we went out on dates, who we would hang around with, where we would eat. And he was so good at it, most of the time I didn't even realize that the ideas were always his and I just went along." She stopped and put a hand up to her face, rubbing her forehead tiredly. Remus' brow furrowed in concern and he stepped towards her again.

"Are you all right?" he asked and she just shook her head and gave a strangled laugh.

"I was such an idiot," she choked out, sounding as if she couldn't decide whether to laugh or cry. "Even after all this time, even after I've gone over all the things he did and said time after time, I'm still surprised when I realize how taken in I was. I stopped caring about all the things I had loved. He made me forget about magic and Hogwarts and Myra and you. I pushed everything from my life away, buried it, ignored it. And the worst part was, it didn't even bother me. I didn't even care. He completely changed me Remus. He made me a different person." Her hands were in fists by her sides and Remus could see the fury on her face. He wondered just how sordid this tale was going to become and he was shocked that anyone had been able to change her.

Catherine had always been stubborn, independent and unafraid to disagree with people. She and Sirius had fought like cats and dogs sometimes and she very rarely let him have the last word. When Sirius irritated her, he knew about it. Hell they all knew about it, well he and Myra anyway. She didn't let him get away with anything. This was a woman who had been prepared to walk away from her family at the age of seventeen to live the life she felt she was supposed to live. To imagine her manipulated and beholden to someone, no matter how much they had helped her, Remus couldn't wrap his mind around that.

But it wouldn't do to let her know he was shocked by her admission, so he just put a hand on her arm and looked her in the eye. "Tell me," he said.

* * *

**7 May 1980**

"I've got a surprise for you," Daniel said as he picked her up at her house that morning before school.

"Oh really," Catherine replied, smiling. "And just what is that?" He leaned forward and kissed her, slowly, until she thought her knees would buckle. And then he pulled back. "Nice surprise," she managed to say.

"Ah, but that's not all of it," he replied, chuckling. "Although I'm glad you liked the first part."

"Oh no?" she asked as they began to walk down the sidewalk.

"I'm taking you into London this weekend," he said and grinned at her.

"This weekend?" she echoed. "But, Daniel, I can't. I told you I was helping my mother with that school fair this weekend." The local primary school Catherine had attended as a child was holding their annual fair and Catherine's mother had always run the baked goods booth as well as making quite a few treats and puddings to contribute to it. Catherine helped her every year, with both the baking and the booth. Daniel's face fell and Catherine instantly felt guilty, although she couldn't say why. She had told him about this weeks ago.

"But this was the only weekend I could get the tickets," he said, pouting like a little boy.

"What tickets?" she asked.

"To that show you've been wanting to see," he replied. Catherine frowned. She didn't remember telling him she wanted to see any show in particular. He'd mentioned a few in passing, but none of them had really interested Catherine.

"When is the show, maybe I can still help my mum and then we can go after?" she suggested, but he shook his head.

"The tickets are for the afternoon show and then I had reservations for dinner afterward," he said. "It's all right, I should have remembered your plans. I'll just give them to Sarah or something." He shrugged and continued walking, looking rather dejected. Catherine's guilt ramped up a bit higher and she groaned internally before speaking again.

"You know, most of the work is in the baking anyway," she said. "I can still help my mum with that and maybe my dad can help her at the actual fair." Daniel turned to her, his face lit up like a Christmas tree.

"Are you certain?" he asked and Catherine couldn't help but grin at his exuberance as she nodded. He grabbed her around the waist and spun her around as she laughed.

* * *

Her mother hadn't been pleased when Catherine had told her about the change in plans, but relented in the end. Catherine helped her with all of the baking, as well as loading everything into the car and delivering it to the school early Saturday morning. And then she raced home and showered and changed before Daniel came and picked her up.

The play was all right, nothing special as far as Catherine was concerned. But Daniel really seemed to like it, so she pretended that she had enjoyed it as well. Dinner was much more enjoyable, the restaurant more elegant than any he had ever taken her to before. He seemed a bit nervous while they were eating, but once he had paid the bill and they had left, Catherine decided she had just been imagining it.

"Fancy a bit of a walk before we go back?" he asked. It was a beautiful night, warm for May and Catherine agreed. The walked to a nearby park along the river and walked hand in hand down a paved path. Daniel finally stopped when they reached a bench and gestured for Catherine to sit down. He sat beside her and turned towards her, taking her hands in his.

"Catherine, there's something I want to talk to you about," he said, rather seriously. Her heart leapt into her throat remembering the last time someone had told her they needed to talk. Her heart began to beat a little faster and she tried to force herself to remain calm. They had just spent a wonderful day together after all, he wasn't likely going to go to all this trouble just to break things off.

"I know we haven't known each other for that long of a time, but to me, it feels as if we've always known each other," he continued. "And I know that we're young, but I know I'll never feel this way about anyone else." He let go of one of her hands and began to fumble in his pocket. Catherine's brow furrowed in confusion. But when he pulled out a small black box and held it out towards her, her stomach plummeted and suddenly she felt as if she couldn't get enough air into her lungs. He let go of her other hand and opened the box. Sitting inside was a diamond ring. Catherine gasped and brought a hand to her mouth.

"Will you marry me?" he asked and looked up at her hopefully. Catherine couldn't draw breath to speak. This, this was, what in the world _was_ this? They had only been dating for seven months. She was eighteen years old, _eighteen_! She had never even seen this coming. What on earth was he thinking? Her brain was telling her to get up, to walk away, to leave, but she couldn't force herself to move. She realized she had been sitting frozen in the same position for quite some time when Daniel spoke again.

"Catherine?" he said quietly, his face concerned.

"Daniel, I," she looked up at him, not able to force any other words from her lips. He studied her for a moment and then his face fell. He slowly closed the box and wrapped his fingers around it.

"I'm sorry, I thought," he shook his head and stood, walking a few steps away from her. She stared after him and tried to put some order to the thoughts that were currently swirling around in her brain. After a few moments, she shook her head, as if to clear it, and looked back at Daniel. He was standing near the edge of the river with his back to her. By the slump of his shoulders and the posture of his body she could tell that he was dejected. Sighing, she stood and approached him, putting an arm around his waist. He allowed her to, but he didn't reciprocate as he usually did.

"I'm sorry," she said. "You just took me by surprise." He gazed across the river, not looking at her. "Please talk to me," she said when he didn't reply after a few minutes. He glanced at her then looked back at the river.

"I thought," he took a deep breath. "I thought you loved me."

"I do," she insisted. "Of course I do." He turned to her then.

"Then why?" he asked. "Why didn't you say yes?"

"Daniel, we're eighteen, we're not even out of school yet," she said.

"So?" he replied. "We're both adults and I love you and you say you love me so I don't understand what the problem is."

"We're so young," Catherine argued.

"I don't see why that matters," he said. "Do you love me?" he asked again.

"Yes," Catherine answered.

"Do you see yourself not loving me sometime in the near future?" he asked again, somewhat cheekily this time and Catherine couldn't help but smile.

"No, of course not," she said.

"Then say yes," he said simply. She looked up into his eyes and he smiled at her, then brought his mouth down to hers, kissing her softly, but there was an urgency behind it that Catherine hadn't felt before. She lost herself in the kiss and when he pulled away from her, she looked up at him once more.

"Yes," she said. He stared at her, concentrating on her face as if he was sure that she wasn't serious. She stared back, hoping the love that she felt for him showed in her eyes.

"Yes?" he questioned and she nodded. "You're sure?" and she nodded again. Then he whooped and picked her up, kissing her again until she was breathless. He pulled the ring box back out of his pocket and took the ring out, sliding it onto her finger. She looked down at it and then back up at him and tears sprung into her eyes. He looked at her in concern for a moment, but she just shook her head and hugged him, avoiding looking at the ring again. He took her hand and led her back to the bench they had been sitting on before, putting an arm around her and pulling her into his side. She rested her head on his shoulder, looking out over the water as he idly ran a finger up and down her arm.

"Do you think we could do it before the end of the summer?" he asked and Catherine shot up straight, looking at him incredulously.

"You want to get married this summer?" she asked and he nodded.

"Why, when were you thinking?" he asked.

"I don't know, I hadn't really thought about it at all," she replied. "I guess maybe not until we're done with university. I mean we won't even be at the same place, how would that work if we were married?" Catherine was planning on going to Cambridge in the fall, but Daniel hadn't been applied there. He was going to the University of London, which Catherine had been accepted to as well. But she had wanted to go to Cambridge since she was a little girl, until she gotten her Hogwarts letter anyway. Daniel had whined and complained about the two of them not being at the same school, until she had reminded him that the two were only an hour apart by train.

"Well, I've been thinking about that," he said, looking at her earnestly. "I know you've always wanted to go to Cambridge, but maybe if we both go to school in London for a year, I can apply there and then we can transfer to Cambridge next year. And then we'll be together still."

"But what if you don't get in?" she asked and he glared at her.

"Are you saying you don't think I can?" he asked, a bit petulantly.

"No, of course not," she assured him. "I'm just saying what if something like that happened? What if I had to apply again too and neither of us got in?"

"I just," he paused looking at her plaintively. "I don't think I could be away from you for the next four years."

"Don't be silly, we'll see each other on the weekends and holidays and the summer," she replied.

"I know, but I'm used to being with you every day," he said.

"I'm sure we'll be so busy with classes and studying that we won't have time to miss each other," she said, trying to be reassuring.

"What if someone else steals you away from me?" he asked, hurt in his eyes.

"What are you talking about?" Catherine questioned. "Of course that's not going to happen."

"You don't know that," he said. "You could get there and meet someone else. I can't lose you Catherine, I can't. Moving here, meeting you, it's the first time I've felt like I was home in a long time. You're everything to me." Catherine stared at him as he turned away from her. She had never seen him look so vulnerable, so close to broken before. Something stirred in her middle as she remembered just how much he had done for her, how far he had gone to pull her back to herself and how much she loved him for that. Did it matter, really, where she went to school? As long as she got the education she wanted and the two of them were happy, what did location have to do with anything? One school was just as good as another, wasn't it? He gave her so much and asked so little in return, wasn't this one thing she could do to make him happy?

"Daniel," she said, putting a hand to his arm. He turned back to her and the anguish that filled his eyes almost broke her heart. She leaned forward and kissed him softly. "You're not going to lose me, I promise. I love you."

"Then we'll do it?" he asked, his eyes still doubtful. "We'll get married this summer and go to school together?" She nodded, smiling and the excitement shining in his eyes began to rub off on her until she thought she was almost as excited as he was. He kissed her again and then jumped up, grabbing her hand and pulling her along with him.

"Where are we going?" she laughed as she jogged a little to keep up with him. He flashed her a brilliant smile.

"Well, if we're going to get married in just a few months, don't you think we're going to need a bit of help planning?" he asked.

"Yes, I suppose you're right," she giggled, imagining the look on her parents' faces when they told them the news. Daniel leaned over and kissed her one last time and then they walked arm in arm back to the car.


	20. Secrets and Near Misses

**A/N - Hello all! Good to see that everyone hates Daniel, lol! Don't worry, you'll get to hate him even more before it's all over. More to the story here, there are around 3 more chapters of Catherine and Daniel and then we will jump back into the present. Thanks to everyone who has been reading and especially my reviewers! See you Friday. :)**

**Chapter 20**

**Secrets and Near Misses**

**29 July 1993**

"So how did your mother take that news?" Remus asked when she had finished recounting the tale. Catherine laughed.

"Oh, she was completely shocked, that's for sure," Catherine replied. "My father wasn't so much, which really surprised me at the time. Now though, I think he had figured Daniel out and thought Daniel had talked me into it somehow. My mum kept asking me if I was sure about it, especially once I told her about not going to Cambridge. She was actually angry with me about that, for quite a while. She didn't think I should throw my dreams away just because my boyfriend didn't want to be apart from me. But she gave up, in the end. A part of me still wishes she hadn't, that she had fought harder to convince me. I can look back now and know that I didn't want to get married, not then anyway. I let him convince me once again. I didn't want to lose him, so I just went along as usual." Catherine shook her head and glanced at Remus.

"One thing my mother was adamant about though, was that I tell Daniel about being a witch," Catherine continued. "She said I couldn't go into a marriage with such a big secret. My father disagreed, of course. As far as he was concerned I was no longer a witch, you see, so why did I need to bother to say anything."

"I take it you didn't tell him," Remus said quietly and Catherine sighed. She turned from where she was standing and made her way back to the chair she had been sitting in. Remus followed and sat in silence in the chair across from her.

"No, I didn't tell him," Catherine finally said, after she had studied her hands for quite some time. "I tried to, a few times, but I never managed it."

"Why not?" Remus asked.

"Daniel was," Catherine paused and pursed her lips in thought. "He was manipulative, as I said, but he was also a bit, rigid, I guess you could say, about the order of things and what was acceptable and what wasn't. He got that from his mother. Some of the clothes I wore for example. He had an opinion about them and he would make sure to let me know what it was. Of course, by the time I decided to get rid of something he didn't like or buy something that he did, I was always convinced that it had been my idea in the first place. But magic, that would have been one of those things that wasn't acceptable. Somehow, I just knew that." She looked up at Remus with a sad smile on her face. "Still stand by that not pathetic comment?" she asked.

"You already know the answer to that," he replied. "And even if I didn't, I've no room to judge anyone else about keeping secrets."

"Yes, well, I think your situation and mine are two completely different things, but I appreciate it all the same." Remus looked away guiltily and Catherine's brow furrowed at the action. She wondered if he was talking about something besides his lycanthropy. Before she could ask, he spoke again.

"So you didn't tell him," Remus said. "Then what happened?"

"We got married at the end of August and took a few days honeymoon by the coast before we came back and moved into our flat in London and started at university," Catherine continued. "I wanted to be a doctor and Daniel was getting a business degree. My classes were much more demanding than his and he was always trying to get me to go out to the pubs with people he'd met. He would pout when I said no, so sometimes I gave in. He would always promise to help me study the next day, but that rarely happened. I barely passed first term and vowed that I wouldn't let him change my mind in future." She snorted. "The problem with that was, I never thought it was Daniel that had changed my mind, not until later anyway. In the moment, I always thought it was me."

"I did better second term, but I was still letting him distract me much too often," she said. "I had wanted to take a couple of summer classes, hoping that then I could take a bit lighter load the following year, but Daniel wouldn't hear of it. His parents were taking a holiday to Italy for almost a month, from the last week of July through most of August. Sarah's graduation gift actually, and they had invited us to come along. I honestly had no desire to spend four weeks with my mother-in-law, but I'm sure you guessed that I didn't win that argument." Remus chuckled and she rolled her eyes at him. "And then, something I never expected to happen, at least not then, did."

* * *

**10 September 1981**

Catherine sat bolt upright in bed and seconds later was sprinting for the loo. She managed to make it just in time to empty the contents of her stomach into the toilet. She groaned when she was finished and dragged herself off the floor. She looked at her reflection in the mirror and stuck out her tongue, before dragging herself back to the bedroom and collapsing back into bed. The movement of the mattress woke Daniel and he turned and peered at her sleepily.

"You all right?" he yawned.

"Don't know," she said, one arm flung over her eyes. "Just got sick."

"What?" he exclaimed sitting up quickly. Catherine groaned again as she was jostled.

"Don't. Do. That." she said through gritted teeth.

"I'm sorry," he replied, resting a hand on her forehead. "You don't feel warm."

"I don't have a fever," she groused. "My stomach is just doing bloody flips." He ran his hand lightly down her cheek and she sighed. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to snap."

"Don't worry about it, Caty-did," Daniel said. Catherine grimaced at the ridiculous nickname. Why did he keep calling her that when she had made it more than plain that she hated it? It didn't even make any sense, her name was spelled with a C, not a K and who on earth would want to be nicknamed after a nasty green bug? "Do you think it was something you ate?" he asked, oblivious to her annoyance.

"We ate the same thing, didn't we?" she reminded him.

"Just a bug then, you'll be all right by tomorrow, I'm sure," he said reassuringly. Catherine just lay completely still, hoping the roiling in her stomach would stop. But, as Daniel got up out of the bed, she jumped up once again and pushed past him into the loo. He didn't follow her in, didn't try to comfort her or hold her hair or any of the things her mother would have done. He waited in the bedroom until she stumbled back in and even grimaced a bit when he looked at her.

"You'd better not go to class today," he said, turning to go to the loo himself.

"Thank you Captain Obvious," she mumbled.

"Sorry?" he called from down the hall.

"Nothing," she returned, rolling onto her side and burying her face into the pillow. She felt horrible. She couldn't remember ever feeling this bad from the stomach flu before. He came back into the bedroom once he had showered and dressed.

"Do you need anything before I leave?" he asked.

"No," she murmured, almost asleep.

"All right, I'll see you later then," he looked at her for another moment and then turned and left the flat. The last thing Catherine thought of before she drifted off to sleep was that he hadn't even kissed her goodbye.

* * *

She woke up later that afternoon, feeling better. Her stomach was still bothering her a bit, but not nearly as badly as it had that morning and she was surprised to find that she was ravenously hungry. She got up and walked to the kitchen, grabbing a carton of orange juice from the refrigerator. She drank it straight from the carton, then stuck her tongue out at nothing in particular, knowing that Daniel would have been appalled if he could have seen her. She pulled out meat and cheese and bread and made herself a sandwich which she wolfed down in less than a minute. She searched through the jars and bottles in the door of the refrigerator until she found the jar of olives and digging a few out with her fingers popped them into her mouth. She opened the freezer and took out the carton of ice cream they had opened the night before. She got a spoon from the drawer, then went out to the couch and turned on the telly, eating ice cream from the carton as she went. Before she realized it, she had finished the entire thing. She gaped down at the carton on her lap, gobsmacked, and then turned and looked back into the kitchen at the mess of food she had left behind. She thought about how tired she had been for the last couple of weeks and then Catherine began to panic.

"Oh no," she said, "Oh no, no, no, no. It can't be, it just can't." She began to count in her head and then jumped up and looked at the calendar on the side of the refrigerator. She flipped back to July and then counted forward, slumping to the floor when she realized how much time had gone by.

She sat in silence for quite a long time before her brain made her move into action once more. She had to have proof. It was one thing to suspect, but until she had proof, she didn't need to worry. Catherine went back into the bedroom and threw on a pair of sweatpants under her sleep shirt. She grabbed her handbag and ran out the door.

Twenty minutes later, she was back in the flat, a small paper bag clutched in her hand. She went into the loo and sat down on the closed toilet lid, pulling the box from the bag. She stared at it for a moment, as if looking at it would change what it was, then read the directions on the back. Once she had done everything the directions had ordered, she sat and waited, crossing her fingers that what she was now almost certain was the truth, wouldn't be. As she watched, two lines began to appear in the small box on the front of the test and once the time limit was up, they were both very distinct. Catherine stared at the test stick once more, slid down the wall to the floor and then put her head in her hands and cried.

* * *

This was where Daniel found her an hour later when he arrived home from classes. She heard him come into the flat and begin walking through, calling her name, but she didn't have the energy to answer him. She had been staring at nothing for the last while, still trying to wrap her mind around what the stick had confirmed.

"Catherine, what are you doing in here on the floor?" Daniel asked when he finally found her. She looked up at him, trying to get her brain to work. "And why is there such a mess in the kitchen? Did you get sick again?" She shook her head, knowing that much was true. "You're starting to worry me, what is it?" He squatted down in front of her and she managed to raise her arm up and give him the pregnancy test. He looked at it, puzzled for a moment until he realized what it was and then his eyes widened.

"Congratulations," she said dully. "You're going to be a dad." He stared at her for the longest minute Catherine could ever remember experiencing and then he smiled. Widely. She was so shocked, she couldn't even say anything. She just gaped at him in astonishment.

"You're pregnant?" he asked, although she thought she had already told him that. She nodded. He let out the loudest whoop Catherine had ever heard. "A baby!" he said as he grabbed her hands and pulled her to her feet. He hugged her and kissed her cheek and her temple and then her lips. She just stood there, still in shock, unable to believe his excitement. Finally he must have suspected that she didn't share in his enthusiasm because his smile turned to a frown as he studied her.

"Aren't you excited?" he asked.

"No, I bloody well am not!" she spat, pulling herself out of his embrace.

"But, why not?" he said, sounding completely confused. "We always said we wanted children."

"Yes, Daniel, someday we wanted children. **Someday**," she raved. "Not when we're bloody nineteen years old and haven't even finished school."

"Would you stop saying bloody," he said and she completely lost it.

"That's what you're choosing to focus on right now? My language? No I will not stop saying bloody! Bloody, bloody, bloody hell! And damn, shit, bugger and bollocks and anything else I can think of to describe this situation. In fact, f-," but before she could say any more, he had put a hand over her mouth and then his arms were wrapped tightly around her and he was rubbing her back.

"It's going to be all right," he said soothingly and she melted into his embrace, putting her arms around his neck and resting her head on his chest. He led her from the loo into their bedroom and they lay down on the bed. She snuggled into his side as he wrapped an arm around her. They lay in silence for a bit until he turned his head and kissed her forehead. "It is going to be all right, you know."

"But what about school?" she asked.

"Well, you'd only have to take off the one term right?" he said. "You can finish this one at least and then go back next fall."

"But we don't have any money, Daniel," she protested. "Babies need things. And who's going to take care of the baby while we're in class? We'd have to pay someone to mind it while we're gone."

"Maybe we can work it so one of us is always here," he said. "One of us can take night classes or something."

"This isn't how it was supposed to go," Catherine said quietly. "We were supposed to finish school and work for a bit and then have babies. We're supposed to have a house and not live in the city anymore and," but he shushed her with a kiss.

"I know this isn't how we planned it," he said. "But it's happened and now we'll just have to figure out what to do."

"That's just the thing," she replied. "I can't figure out how this happened."

"I'm pretty sure I know how it happened," he said smirking and she slapped his chest.

"That's not what I meant, you prat," she said, but she couldn't help but laugh a little. "I mean, we were being really careful. You know how vigilant I was about it."

"Well, when do you think it happened?" he asked.

"While we were in Italy," she responded. He nodded his head knowingly.

"Maybe all the travel messed up your system or something and things didn't work the way they should," he said.

"Well, obviously something didn't work the way it should," she retorted. "But how did you know about that, the travel?"

"I don't know, read it somewhere I guess," he said nonchalantly.

"Why didn't you tell me then?" she asked. He shrugged.

"I guess I really didn't think much about it. Anyway, what's done is done." Catherine sighed. He was right, of course.

"I'm scared, Daniel," she whispered, tears coming to her eyes again. She clutched the front of his shirt.

"Hey, hey," he said, rubbing her back again and pulling her closer to him. "You're going to be a great mum." She sniffled and raised her head and looked at him.

"Do you really think so?" she asked, tears still running down her face. He wiped a few away with his thumb and nodded.

"I know so," he replied and then he kissed her.

* * *

**29 July 1993**

"To this day, I feel like he manipulated the situation somehow so I would get pregnant," Catherine said quietly before she drained the rest of the wine that was in her glass.

"How could he do that?" Remus asked, not knowing much about muggle birth control. Obviously there was no easy contraceptive spell like in the magical world.

"I was taking pills, which are very, very effective if you take them properly. Which I was," she said. "Who knows, maybe he replaced them with fakes or something, I don't know. It's not likely, but with everything else that happened after, I never know what to think. And he was the one that went to the chemist and picked them up for me before we went to Italy."

"I take it you didn't finish school though," Remus said and she shook her head ruefully.

"No, I didn't," she replied. "When we told our parents, mine were disappointed, but Daniel's mother was furious. She blamed it entirely on me, of course, but she told Daniel that she would not pay for any expenses beyond his tuition. And they could have easily afforded it, believe me. She said that we had made our bed, now we had to lie in it. I always suspected that she didn't really like me, thought I was beneath her son somehow, but her reaction to my pregnancy confirmed it. Did you know that I agreed to name my baby after her, thinking it would bring her around?" Catherine snorted again. Remus looked at her confused.

"I thought his mother's name was Nora?" he asked. Catherine nodded.

"Yes, short for Eleanor, which is Ellie's given name. Once I realized that his mother couldn't care less what we actually named her, I started calling her Ellie. I wanted to name her that in the first place. Daniel still always called her Eleanor around his mother though." Catherine rolled her eyes.

"Anyway, back to the school issue. My parents really couldn't help us either, not that they didn't want to. But I wouldn't let them go into debt over it. So Daniel dropped out of school and his father got him a job with his company, which, of course, was my fault as well. I finished out that term, it was already paid for, and the plan was still that I would go back after the baby was born, but it didn't happen. That little dream of mine was over too."

"I'm sorry, Catherine," Remus said. She gave him a half-smile and shrugged.

"I don't want it to sound as if I wish I hadn't had Ellie," she said. "I never wished that. The minute the nurse put her into my arms, I was a goner." She chuckled. "That little girl wrapped us both so tightly around her fingers," she shook her head, remembering.

"Yes, I saw the same thing happen with James," Remus said wistfully and Catherine's head swung toward him. It was the first time he had voluntarily mentioned anyone from Hogwarts and Catherine held her breath. "Lily too, but Prongs, he had it bad. He thought Harry was the most perfect baby on the planet."

"I think most parents think that of their children," Catherine said smiling. Remus nodded absentmindedly. "You still miss them, don't you?"

"Every day," he said, his breath hitching a bit. Catherine reached over and gently squeezed his arm. He smiled at her, but she could see it was a bit watery. "Wait, you know what happened?" She nodded sadly.

"That was the first time Daniel almost found out," she said quietly.

* * *

**2 November 1981**

Catherine awoke to a tapping sound. She groggily turned over in bed and blinked a few times, looking at the clock which read 1:27. She listened for a second then heard the tapping again. It sounded as if it were coming from the front window of the flat and Catherine's brow furrowed in confusion. It was familiar to her somehow, but she couldn't quite place it. Daniel began to stir beside her and Catherine quickly got out of bed, somehow knowing that this was something she needed to investigate on her own.

She crept quietly into the front room, listening for the noise and when she reached the couch she heard it again. It was definitely coming from the window and when Catherine got a bit closer she saw an owl fluttering outside. Catherine's hand flew to her mouth and she glanced back down the corridor towards the bedroom, praying that Daniel was still sleeping. Recovering, she quickly went to the window and slid it open, letting the owl fly inside. It landed on the coffee table and held out its leg. Catherine untied the roll of parchment around it and when she opened it, saw Myra's familiar handwriting. A sob caught in her throat and Catherine sunk down onto the couch, holding the letter tightly in her hand. The owl looked up at her curiously, as if waiting for something and Catherine wondered if Myra had told him to wait for a reply. Catherine unrolled the parchment and began to read.

_Dear Catherine,_

_I hope my owl is able to find you. I actually know how to use muggle post and I almost sent this to your parents' house, but I wasn't sure if you were still living there or not. Anyway, I know it has been a long time and I'm not sure if you even want to hear from me anymore, but I thought you would want to know about this. Instead of writing it all out, I've just enclosed the copy of the article from the Prophet. _

_I miss you Catherine and I would love to see you again if you would like to. I've told my owl to wait in case you want to respond. If you don't, I'll understand. _

_I hope you are well._

_Love, Myra_

Catherine could feel the tears running down her cheeks and she ran a finger over Myra's signature. She picked up the Prophet article she had set to the side while she was reading the letter and opened it. The headline screamed out at her.

**He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named defeated by Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived!**

Catherine's breath caught in her throat. Harry Potter, he must be a relation of James'. But she knew James didn't have any siblings and the headline said a boy. A cousin perhaps? Catherine began to read.

When she was finished, she simply stared at the article in her hand. She absolutely could not believe it. Voldemort, destroyed by a mere baby. And James and Lily were dead. This couldn't be, it just couldn't. How could they be dead? Oh god, Sirius and Remus. How would they get through this? Catherine put her head in her hands and began to sob.

When she had composed herself, she looked up to the owl still sitting on her table. He hooted at her a bit mournfully and she ran a finger gently over his head. Catherine got up and went to the kitchen, pulling out a bit of sausage from the refrigerator that was left from dinner. She brought a piece back out and gave it to the owl, who hooted again in thanks. Then Catherine began to pace.

She could go back, she could go back and be safe and not have to worry about her parents being in any kind of danger. She could finish school maybe, at least take her O.W.L.s. She could get together with Myra and Remus and maybe even, but no, her mind wouldn't let her go there. Maybe she could apprentice to a healer, maybe, Catherine's train of thought trailed off as she brought a hand to her stomach. She turned and looked guiltily down the hall. Of course she couldn't go back now. She had Daniel and a baby coming. He would never understand and the baby probably wouldn't be magical anyway. Daniel was as muggle as you could get. Catherine had let herself get carried away.

Still, she thought as she sunk back down onto the couch, looking at the owl. She could get back in touch with Myra. They could always meet somewhere in London. Daniel didn't have to know. Catherine grabbed a piece of paper and pen from beside the phone and sat down to write a note.

Before she could really begin, she heard a noise from the bedroom and heard Daniel softly calling her. Catherine's eyes went wide as she looked at the owl still sitting on the table. She got up quickly and held out her arm, picking up the letter and Prophet article and sticking them into the waistband of her pajamas pants, pulling her shirt over them. The owl hopped happily onto Catherine's arm, hooting as he did so.

"Shh," Catherine hissed and rushed to the open window. "You have to go, I can't write back. I'm sorry. Tell Myra," Catherine shook her head at her ridiculousness. "I'm sorry," she whispered and the owl nipped her ear and took off into the night.

"Catherine?" she heard behind her and she spun around.

"Daniel," she said, bringing a hand to her chest. "You startled me."

"Why are you up in the middle of the night and why is the window open?" he asked, walking towards her. "It's freezing outside." He shut the window and stepped back, looking at her in confusion. "I thought I heard an owl hooting."

"An owl? I don't know what you're talking about," she said and she realized her voice was bordering on hysterical. He studied her face, concern covering his.

"You've been crying," he said, running a finger down her cheek. "Tell me what's going on." She stared at him for a moment, her mind working frantically to come up with some excuse, the papers under her shirt feeling as if they were burning into her skin. The rational part of her mind that was still functioning told her this was her chance, she could tell him now, show him the Prophet, explain everything.

"I'm fine, I just had a dream and when I woke up I was still out of sorts and I just needed some air," she said instead.

"Must have been some dream," he said, not looking convinced.

"Yes, well the doctor told me that all the pregnancy hormones make your dreams a little crazy sometimes," she replied, trying to smile. He looked at her for a bit longer and after a moment, she couldn't stand his scrutiny, so she turned back toward the table and gathered up the paper and pen. "I wasn't sure if I'd be able to go back to sleep, so I started to think about names. I was going to write them down," she said hoping that turning the conversation to the baby would distract him.

"Really?" he asked, coming up behind her. "Did you think of anything?" He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and pulled her back against him. She leaned back into his embrace and he kissed her temple.

"Maybe a few," she said, smiling as Daniel nuzzled her cheek with his lips. But when he started to bring his hands down to the small bump of her belly, she froze and pulled away from him.

"Caty-did?" he asked in puzzlement.

"I'm sorry, I just, I was feeling a little queasy again," she said, trying not to scowl at the nickname.

"I thought that was over," he replied, brow furrowing.

"It is mostly, but every so often I still feel it," she said, avoiding his gaze. "Let's go back to bed." Catherine stepped back towards him and took his hand, leading him down the hall to their bedroom. "I'll be right back," she said as he climbed into bed. She went across the hall into the loo and pulled the letter and article out of her waistband. Blinking rapidly to keep the tears from returning, she turned on the tap to cover the sound and then tore both into tiny pieces, flushing them down the toilet when she was finished. She splashed some water on her face and taking a deep breath, she returned to the bedroom and joined her husband in their bed. He was nearly asleep again already, so she waited until his breathing evened out and then she rolled onto her side, her back to him. With a hand on her belly, she silently cried once more for all that she had lost.

* * *

**29 July 1993**

"I felt so horribly guilty after that," Catherine said, looking up at Remus.

"Whatever for?" he asked.

"For all the regrets I had about how my life had turned out. Because if it hadn't gone the way that it did, I wouldn't have my children. Although at that time, I was only thinking of Ellie. And I did love Daniel, or at least I had convinced myself that I did. There was always just this piece of myself that was missing. A piece that I had to keep hidden, locked away where even I couldn't see it." She smiled sadly at Remus. "It was like being torn in two and having to choose between two equally important and special parts. But I could only choose one and given the fact that an innocent baby was going to be coming into the mess that I had created, I picked her."

"I think anyone would have," Remus said and Catherine shrugged. She stood again, wandering a few steps from the table and crossing her arms in front of her. Remus remained where he was, watching her. He had the feeling that there would be more regrets and much more sadness before the story was over. "You said it was the first time Daniel almost caught you. What was the second?"

"It didn't happen for quite some time, something for which I was grateful," she said, staring out, unseeing, into the garden. Ellie was born in April and as I said, she wrapped me around her finger from the start. Daniel too, although he was much further gone than me. He just couldn't get enough of her. There were nights I would wake up and I would find him in her room just watching her. He was fascinated by everything she did and she was more than delighted at her captive audience. She became a daddy's girl almost straight away." Catherine smiled, remembering the early years of her daughter's life. They were still happy memories, no matter what had come after.

"And she did more than that," Catherine continued, glancing back at Remus. "My father absolutely adored her. She healed what was left of the rift between us. He got sick shortly after she was born, cancer, and for a while, I thought that Ellie would be his savior, so to speak. He fought, so hard, that little girl was so important to him. But, he just couldn't do it in the end." She paused, feeling the tears gathering behind her eyes again and Remus rose and put a hand to her back. She turned and hesitated for a moment before leaning against him. His arms went around her and she cried into his shoulder while he rubbed her back soothingly.

"Sorry," she said a few minutes later and he conjured a handkerchief and gave it to her. She laughed a bit, remembering the time he'd done the same for her on the train.

"You don't have to apologize," he said. "I know how it feels." She nodded and squeezed his hand, not surprised when he didn't let go afterward.

"I was pregnant with Rory when things got really bad," she said. "Daniel and I had bought a house not far from here and I think that my father was trying to hold on until Rory was born. He only missed him by about two weeks. Rory wasn't actually due until September, but my doctor said that all the stress probably made me go into labor early."

"Did you read the letter yet?" Remus asked out of the blue. "The one the goblin gave you at Gringott's." Catherine shook her head.

"I tried, last night, but all I ended up doing was staring at the envelope for an hour," she admitted.

"Why the hesitation?" he questioned.

"I'm not sure really," she answered. "A part of me is afraid of what it might say."

"I thought that the two of you had mended things," he said.

"We did and I know he wouldn't have left the money if he were angry with me," she said, then sighed. "I've just always felt like I disappointed him. He never wanted me to go to Hogwarts, I never finished college and I knew he wasn't happy about my marriage to Daniel. He seemed to figure him out quicker than I did. They got along, but I could tell that my father was a bit wary of him."

"I'm sure that he wasn't disappointed in you," Remus tried to reassure her, but Catherine just shrugged and shook her head.

"I'll read it," she said. "Eventually." He just smirked at her and shook his head.

"So, Rory made his appearance a bit early then," he said, bringing her back to the story.

"Yes and Daniel was enamored with him from the start. He was over the moon that he had a son," she said. "Ellie, on the other hand, was not so thrilled with her new brother. Especially since he seemed to be taking her father away from her."

* * *

**23 September 1984**

Catherine heard the front door open and looked over at her daughter, who was currently sitting on the floor in front of the coffee table. She had a crayon in her hand and a look of concentration on her face, her tongue sticking out the corner of her mouth as she drew on the paper in front of her.

"Ellie-bell, I think Daddy's home," Catherine told the little girl.

"No, no, Mumma, no done," she protested. Catherine chuckled and walked out into the lounge to look at her daughter's newest creation. The refrigerator and the walls of her husband's office, as well as their bedroom, were covered with the two year-old's drawings.

"That's very pretty sweetheart, I'm sure Daddy will love it," Catherine said as she glanced down at the lines and shapes that covered the page.

" S'Daddy an' me an' fowers," Ellie announced proudly. Just then, Daniel walked into the room. Ellie turned her back and continued to scribble furiously on the page, obviously not finished with her masterpiece. Catherine smiled and walked up to her husband, who wrapped his arms around her and kissed her.

"Hello," he said when he pulled away from her. "How was your day?"

"Just fine," she replied, smiling at him. A noise behind him drew his attention.

"Hey, there's my best mate," he declared, bending down and picking up his small son from the carrier sitting on the floor. He tickled Rory under the chin and the baby smiled at him. He continued to coo and cuddle the baby and Catherine just shook her head in amusement.

"Dinner's just about finished," she said as she walked back into the kitchen. She got no response which didn't surprise her in the least. Little could distract Daniel when he was playing with his son.

"Daddy, Daddy!" Ellie called as she ran up to her father. "Look, Daddy, lookit!" She was jumping up and down and holding up the picture she had finished drawing, but Daniel paid her no attention. He had sat down on the couch and was currently playing a game of peek-a-boo with Rory, much to the baby's delight.

"Daddy!" Ellie said again and pulled on her father's pant leg. He glanced up at her and then back down at Rory.

"Hi, El," he said absentmindedly, not looking at her.

"Daddy, made you pitcher," she said, holding out the paper again.

"Oh, I'll look at it in a minute okay?" Daniel said, sticking his tongue out at Rory and garnering a smile.

"No, Daddy, lookit now!" Ellie exclaimed, stamping her small foot in emphasis. "No baby!" She yanked on Rory's sleeve, startling the little boy. His face screwed up to cry and Daniel brought him up to his shoulder, rubbing his back.

"Shh, Rory, it's all right," Daniel soothed, then looked down at Ellie.

"Ellie, what has Daddy said about frightening the baby?" he asked while Ellie glared at him. She crossed her arms in front of her and stuck her lips out in a pout. "Don't give me that look, young lady," he said sternly, then went back to comforting his son. Ellie stared at her father for a moment before she stomped across the room toward the basket of toys that sat there. She kept her arms crossed in front of her, as she stared at her father and her brother. Catherine was just about to come back and intervene when a small pile of blocks rose from the floor and began to fly toward Rory's head.

"Daniel!" Catherine screamed and Daniel glanced up at the flying blocks, bringing an arm up to shield the baby at the last second. Two of the blocks hit his arm and the third flew over his head. He looked from Ellie to the blocks on the floor to Catherine.

Catherine felt as if her heart had stopped. Ellie stood with a shocked look on her face, as if she couldn't believe what she had just seen. Daniel was shaking his arm, as if he were in pain, when he looked at Ellie again.

"Kid's got quite the arm on her," he muttered, shifting Rory in his arms so he could rub the sore spot on his forearm. "That hurt." Catherine felt her heart pounding in her chest and realized her husband had just given her an out.

"I'll handle this," she said, turning to Ellie. "Ellie come with me," she said sternly and the little girl reached up and took her hand, following behind her mother obediently. When they reached her daughter's room, Catherine closed the door and sat down with Ellie on her bed.

"What happened Ellie?" she asked, wondering just how much control the girl had had over the situation.

"Was mad. Daddy dint wanna see my pitcher," Ellie said, her lip trembling a bit.

"I know that sweetheart," Catherine said. "What happened with the blocks?"

"Don't know Mumma," Ellie said, her whole mouth quivering now. "Was mad and bocks went fyin'." The tears began to run down the little girl's cheeks and Catherine gathered her daughter into her arms and rocked her.

"Shh, sweetheart, don't cry, it's all right," Catherine soothed.

"I's bad," Ellie wailed and Catherine hugged her harder.

"No baby, you're not bad, it was an accident," Catherine assured her.

"Why bocks go fyin', Mumma?" Ellie asked. Catherine took a deep breath. Her daughter was much too young to understand accidental magic or the fact that she was a witch. There was no way she could explain it without Ellie running and telling her father. Hating herself for it, she turned back to her daughter.

"The blocks didn't fly Ellie, you threw them," Catherine said.

"No Mumma," Ellie protested.

"I think you did, Ellie," Catherine continued. "Maybe you didn't remember because you were so angry." Ellie's little brow furrowed in confusion and Catherine felt like the worst mother on the planet. She hugged her daughter again and Catherine felt the tears begin to run down her own cheeks. She could not do this, she could not lie to her child.

"No Mumma," Ellie said again, but more quietly this time. "I no frow toys."

"I know baby, I know," Catherine said. "It was just an accident."

"Bocks naughty," Ellie said and Catherine laughed.

"Yes, Ellie-bell, yes they are."

* * *

The pair came back out into the lounge a few minutes later. Daniel had put Rory back into his carrier and squatted down and held his arms out to Ellie. She ran to him and he hugged her, picking her up and turning to Catherine.

"We'll talk later," she said and he nodded. The three sat down to dinner and afterward, Ellie showed her father the abandoned picture. He was appropriately complimentary and when he took Ellie into her room to get her ready for the bed, the little girl was beaming. Once he had her down and Catherine had fed Rory and tucked him into his cot, Daniel joined his wife in the lounge, handing her a glass of wine as he sat down next to her.

"Thank you," she said smiling as she took a sip.

"I figured we could both use it," he replied. "So what happened?"

"It's jealousy," Catherine said simply, hoping that he believe that Ellie had actually thrown the blocks. "How's your arm?" she asked, grinning at him.

"It's not funny, you know," he said in a huff. "It did hurt." He pulled his sleeve back and showed her the small bruise that was forming on his forearm. "I just can't figure out how she could throw three at once and so hard too." His eyes narrowed in concentration.

"Must have caught you with a corner," Catherine said, as nonchalantly as she could, although her heart was once again racing and her palms were sweaty. She leaned down and kissed the bruise. "Better?" she asked, grinning at him, hoping to distract him from his current thoughts.

"Mmm, much," he said, then leaned forward and kissed her softly. "But what are we going to do about this? She could have really hurt Rory if you hadn't seen her."

"I think we're going to have to be sure to give her some extra attention for a bit, until she gets used to having to share us with Rory," Catherine said. "Especially you."

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Well, you've become a little preoccupied with Rory and you and Ellie have always been especially close. You know she thinks you hung the moon," Catherine replied.

"I'm sorry, Caty-did, I didn't realize," he said.

"Why do you insist on continuing to call me that?" she said huffily. He shrugged and smirked at her.

"Maybe I like the rise I get out of you," he replied, grinning.

"You're impossible," she said, trying to glare at him and failing.

"But you love me," he grinned and kissed her again.


	21. Magic Unmasked

**A/N - Hi everyone! I know that some of you have been waiting for this chapter and Daniel's reaction. This is just the start. Hope you all enjoy and feel free to review and tell me how much you disklike Daniel! ;) Back on Tuesday! **

**Chapter 21**

**Magic Unmasked**

**29 July 1993**

"Daniel was true to his word, he made sure to pay more attention to Ellie and after a few months, things settled down and Ellie actually seemed to begin to like her brother," Catherine said. The two had wandered back to the table and sat down again. "There weren't any other bouts of accidental magic from her and I managed to put it out of my mind for the most part. I knew we would have to deal with it eventually, when her letter came, but I pretended that was so far into the future that there was no need to worry about it right then."

"I found myself thinking about magic less and less. I was busy raising my children and taking care of the house and it just seemed like a part of my life that was so far away from where I currently was, it was almost like a dream," she continued, smiling sadly at Remus. "My mother had even given up pestering me to tell Daniel, although she had no idea about Ellie's little stunt with the blocks. If I'd told her, I'm sure she would have kept up the pressure."

"I don't know your mother all that well, but from what I've seen, I have no doubt that's true," Remus chuckled and Catherine joined in after a moment.

"Yes, well, one morning just before Rory turned two, I was walking down the hall to his room and he was giggling in his cot. As I reached the doorway, I looked up and saw that all the stuffed animals that we kept in his cot were currently floating in the air above his head." Remus looked at her, his mouth hanging open. "That was my reaction as well. Thank Merlin Daniel had gone into work early that morning." She shook her head. "I couldn't do anything for a moment, I was frozen in the doorway and then Rory looked at me and grinned and all the toys fell back into his cot. It was enough to bring me out of my stupor and I went and picked him up and held him close for a moment. Then I looked at him and told him that he mustn't float his toys ever again. He was very solemn when he looked back at me and nodded, but he wasn't even two, I had no idea if he really understood me or not."

"I immediately went into a panic," Catherine said, running her fingers lightly over the table top. "I now had not one, but two magical children that my husband knew nothing about and I had no idea what I was going to do about it. I was flabbergasted by Rory. He hadn't done that with his toys because he was scared or angry. That little boy was hardly ever scared or angry."

"Strong emotion," Remus said.

"What do you mean?" Catherine asked in confusion.

"Accidental magic is fueled by strong emotion," he replied. "That's why with children we usually see it if they are very angry or frightened. But happiness can be a strong emotion as well. You said that Rory was a very happy little boy. It could have been triggered by that happiness."

"Well, that makes perfect sense and I wish I would have known that back then," she admitted. "I thought he was some kind of prodigy or something, that he could do wandless magic at two years old." Remus chuckled. "Anyway, to top everything else off, I found out that I was pregnant again shortly after that."

"Both Daniel and I were shocked, we hadn't been planning on having a third child," she continued. "He recovered quickly and was excited, of course, but I had a harder time. I just kept thinking to myself that if this child was magical as well, how on earth was I going to hide it from him a third time?"

"Didn't you ever consider telling him?" Remus asked and she could hear the hint of exasperation in his voice.

"I did," she said. "But I always changed my mind in the end. I had lived this lie, this half-truth for such a long time that eventually I had no idea how to get out of it. I had convinced myself that Daniel would take it badly and that I would lose everything. I just kept thinking of how Daniel's mother would react and how disappointed his father and sister would be in me for keeping the secret for such a long time. His parents had a lot of money, something his mother liked to remind me of quite often, and I just had this vision that they would take the children away from me if they knew. She had always let me know that she didn't approve of the way I was raising them." Catherine rolled her eyes.

"All I had was my mum and while I know she would have fought tooth and nail to help me, we didn't have the resources Daniel's parents did. His father had gotten a large promotion right before Sarah graduated and they'd moved into a much more expensive neighborhood right after we had gotten back from Italy. His mother always hinted that if it weren't for me, Daniel would be right there with them, married to someone that was 'worthy' of him. She seemed to think I had trapped him somehow, she never believed that he was the one that talked me into marrying so young and when I got pregnant with Ellie," Catherine shook her head.

"So I was terrified," she admitted. "I knew she would find a way to twist everything and make it look as if I were mad. I had this dream every now and then of me being taken to some asylum and locked up while Nora walked off with my children." Catherine shuddered and Remus placed his hand over hers again.

"As I said, I was completely stressed at this point. I wasn't sleeping well, barely ate, I was a wreck most of the pregnancy, short with the children, short with Daniel. I alternated between crying and yelling at everyone. Daniel made me see my doctor more and more often, he was very worried about my state of mind. It wasn't until my doctor told me that if I didn't calm down this baby was going to come before she was ready that I stopped. I couldn't bear if anything had happened to her and so I forced myself to stop worrying and shoved all those concerns away, just as I had with everything else. I was getting rather good at it actually." Catherine shook her head ruefully.

"Miranda was born right on time, at the end of March, and was perfect of course. It didn't take long for her to wrap us all around her little fingers. She was the most spoiled little baby, her brother and sister doted on her and her father and I weren't any better. I don't think she was put down for more than a few minutes at a time besides to sleep the whole first year of her life. I think that's one of the reasons things happened the way they did. She was used to always getting what she wanted. So when she didn't," Catherine paused, shaking her head.

"What happened?" Remus asked.

* * *

**17 April 1988**

Ellie was sitting on the floor of the lounge playing happily with the new doll she had received from her parents for her sixth birthday as Catherine tidied the kitchen. Catherine's mother, who had been there for the birthday celebration, had already left to go home. Daniel's parents had claimed a prior engagement and had not attended, although Catherine was sure that it was just an excuse. She was positive some ridiculous, over-the-top and completely inappropriate present would arrive in a day or two.

Rory and Daniel were sitting at the table playing a game. Miranda was in her play cot, watching Ellie. As Catherine watched, Miranda pulled herself up to stand, her arms hanging over the side of the cot, and began reaching for the doll Ellie was playing with. Just over a year old, Miranda wasn't talking as of yet, but kept grunting and reaching, trying to get Ellie's attention. She finally let out a loud howl and Ellie turned around.

"No, Manda, you can't have my doll." Ellie got up and walked to the play cot. "Here, play with your blocks." She handed the blocks to Miranda. Miranda threw the blocks to the floor and reached for the doll again.

"No, Miranda," Ellie said forcefully and returned to her play. Catherine bit her cheek to avoid laughing and as she glanced at Daniel she saw that he was doing the same. The two parents' eyes met over the heads of their children and Catherine just shook hers in amusement. She looked back at her daughters in the lounge and saw that Miranda was trying unsuccessfully to climb up the side of the play cot. After a few minutes, she began to cry. Catherine abandoned the leftover cake that she was currently wrapping up.

"Oh sweetheart," Catherine said as she crossed the room from the kitchen. She picked up the crying baby and tried to soothe her. Miranda responded by reaching down toward the doll once again.

"Sorry, baby, that is your sister's. Not for little hands." Catherine kissed the little girl on the cheek and hugged her close. Miranda squirmed and whined. Daniel looked up with a laugh.

"I don't know, Caty-did," he said, smirking. "I think you may be making another trip to the toy shop for another doll, unless you want a mutiny on your hands." Catherine sighed and stuck her tongue out at him because of the nickname and then laughed and started walking from the room with the still squirming baby.

"Come with Mummy, Miranda, let's finish with Ellie's cake, all right?" Miranda put her tiny lips into a pout and shook her wispy curls forcefully. She looked over Catherine's shoulder at Ellie again. In the next instant, Catherine's life changed forever.

Miranda shrieked so loudly they all stopped what they were doing and stared at her. And then it happened. Miranda reached out her chubby little arm towards the doll once more and in the blink of an eye, it flew up in the air and into her arms. Miranda giggled and clutched the doll to her, showing it to her mother, who was staring at her, gobsmacked.

"What. Was. That?" her husband choked out. He didn't seem to be able to say anything else. He stared at Miranda. This was it, Catherine realized. The day she always knew would come, but one she hoped she would somehow be able to avoid. The very rare incidents of accidental magic that Daniel had witnessed from the other two children had been easily explained away. Not this time though, there was no way this could just be brushed aside. Catherine was going to have to tell Daniel the truth. She only hoped that he would be able to understand and forgive her.

"Ellie, take Rory into your room and play for a bit, won't you?" Catherine directed her daughter. To her credit, the girl didn't even question her mother's request, simply stood and came and took her brother's hand, leading him into her room. Both children seemed to sense that something very important had just happened. Catherine then turned to Daniel who was still sitting at the table in shock.

"Daniel, go into the study, I'll be there in a moment," she said. "I just need to call my mother." Daniel gave her a short nod and then rose, walking into the study in a daze. Catherine watched him go, then hugged her baby girl to her for a moment, before turning to the telephone in the kitchen. "Oh sweetheart, let's hope your Daddy can forgive me."

* * *

After phoning her mother, she went into the children's rooms and packed a small bag of overnight things for each of them. She saved Ellie's room for last and found her and Rory playing a game quietly on the floor.

"Hey you two, Grandma is going to be here in a few minutes. She's taking you to her house for the night," Catherine said brightly.

"How come Mummy?" Ellie asked.

"Well, Daddy and I need to have a talk and it will be easier for us if we can do that without having to stop and mind the three of you," Catherine replied.

"Is it 'cause Manda made the doll fwy?" Rory asked.

"Partly," Catherine admitted, ruffling her son's hair. "Now, if you want to bring any toys go gather them up and then go and give your Daddy a kiss good-night. He's in the study." The children rose and obeyed their mother, Ellie looking up longingly at the doll Miranda was still holding. Catherine gently extracted it from the baby's grasp and handed it to Ellie, who hugged it to her chest. Miranda immediately began to protest, but Catherine quickly grabbed the stuffed panda bear from the bag she had packed and Miranda grasped it in her chubby fist and kissed the panda's nose.

There was a knock at the door a few minutes later and Catherine called for Ellie and Rory while she answered it. Miranda was already wearing her jacket and Ellie and Rory obediently pulled theirs on. Jane took the baby and kissed her cheek, then exchanged the bag she was holding for the one in Catherine's hand.

"What's this?" Catherine asked.

"Just a couple of things I thought you might need," her mother replied, bending and kissing her other two grandchildren on the top of their heads. Catherine opened the bag and looked inside, then quickly back up at her mother.

"Where did you get this?" she asked incredulously. Her mother just shrugged.

"I found it a few years ago when I was going through some boxes of your father's things up in the attic," Jane replied. "I'm not sure why he kept it, but I thought it might help today." Catherine hugged her mother as tightly as she could without crushing Miranda. Her mother patted her cheek as she pulled away. "All right you three, let's go to Grandma's shall we?" Catherine knelt down in front of her two oldest children.

"You two behave for Grandma and help her with Miranda," she said as she straightened their coats. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye Mummy," Rory said, giving her a hug and a kiss.

"Love you Mummy," Ellie said, doling out her own hug and kiss.

"I love you both," Catherine said. She stood and kissed her baby girl on the cheek, then watched as her mother took them out to the car. Catherine stood in the doorway until they had driven down the street and around the corner and then she shut the door quietly. Looking quickly inside the bag again, she squared her shoulders and walked briskly into the study to join her husband.

* * *

Daniel was pacing when she walked into the room, a glass of scotch in his hand. He whirled around as she entered, a crazed look on his face. Catherine took a deep breath and set the bag her mother had brought on the end table.

"We need to call the doctor," Daniel said, as he once again began to pace back and forth across the small room. "Or a psychiatrist. Hell, maybe we need a priest." The last brought Catherine up short.

"A priest? Whatever for?" she asked him.

"I don't know," he said, waving the hand that was not holding the glass in the air. "Maybe she's possessed or something." Catherine couldn't help but snort at this. "I'm glad you find this so amusing," he said angrily. "I, however, am seriously worried about our child!"

"Daniel, please, sit down," Catherine said walking towards the couch.

"No, I will bloody well not sit down!" he exclaimed. "How can you be so calm about this?" He ran a hand through his hair and gulped down the rest of the scotch in his glass.

"Daniel, please," Catherine said, patting the spot next to her on the couch. He looked at her and sighed, then came and slumped down beside her. "Miranda is fine. There is absolutely nothing wrong with her."

"Were you in the same room as I was just then?" he asked, looking at her as if she were barmy. "She made that doll fly through the air, Catherine!"

"I realize that," Catherine said placatingly. "But that doesn't mean there is something wrong with her."

"Have you gone completely mental?" he barked and Catherine sighed.

"Daniel, there's a perfectly good explanation for what happened and there is nothing wrong with our baby. If you'll just listen to me, I'll explain everything."

"Fine," he said waving a hand as if telling her to begin.

"When I was 11 years old, a woman came to our house to invite me to attend the school she taught at," Catherine began, pulling her Hogwarts letter from the bag that her mother had brought.

"Yes, you told me, the boarding school in France," he said impatiently. "What does that have to do with this?"

"It was a boarding school, but it wasn't in France, it was in Scotland," Catherine continued. "And it wasn't an ordinary school, it was a school that taught magic." She handed the letter to Daniel. "You see, I'm a witch and so is Miranda." Daniel gaped at her, he hadn't yet looked at the letter in his hand. He stared at her for what felt like hours, but Catherine was sure was only a few minutes. And then he began to laugh. Catherine narrowed her eyes in confusion, she hadn't expected that reaction. When he had composed himself, he looked at her again.

"Well, now that you've lightened the mood, perhaps we can get serious and try and figure out what is wrong with our baby," he said, rising to refill his glass, leaving the letter lying on the couch. Catherine sighed. She had known that this wouldn't be easy.

"Daniel, I am being serious," she said. "You didn't even look at the letter." He came back to the couch, sipping at his glass and sat down, picking up the letter once more. He began to read aloud.

_Dear Miss Powell,_

_We are pleased to inform you that you have a place at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment._

_Term begins on 1 September. We await your owl no later than 31 July._

_Yours Sincerely,_

_Minerva McGonagall_

_Deputy Headmistress_

"Oh and wait, let's not forget about this Albus Dumbledore person, let's see, Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand, Sorcerer, is it? Chief Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, whatever that is, International Confederation of Wizards," Daniel continued, then tossed the letter down on the table when he was finished. "Where on earth did you get this rubbish?"

"It's not rubbish," Catherine said calmly. "As I said, I received that letter when I was eleven years old. It was delivered personally to me by Minerva McGonagall herself. She explained to my parents and me that I was a witch and that they would like me to attend their school."

"Catherine, you went to school in France, you told me that yourself," David said. "There's no such thing as magic, we both know that. I don't know why you insist on telling me this ridiculous tale, but you are starting to worry me. We need to discuss Miranda."

"I am discussing Miranda, I'm trying to explain what happened," Catherine continued, her voice starting to rise.

"Catherine, I want you to stop this foolishness right now," Daniel demanded, rising to his feet once more. "I don't know why you've gone to these lengths to try and convince me of something so ridiculous, but I want it to stop, immediately. Unless you're just trying to make fun of me for some reason."

"Daniel, I'm not making fun of you," Catherine sighed. "Please come and sit back down and let me explain." She patted the sofa next to her again, but Daniel shook his head. "Please," Catherine asked quietly. He had never been able to resist her when she asked like that. He lowered himself down to the sofa, his head in his hands, still holding the Hogwarts letter.

"Daniel, that letter is real. Like Miranda, I could make things just happen when I was a child, when I was angry or scared. I never understood why and my parents didn't either. When the professor came to our house, it suddenly all made sense to me and I was so relieved. For such a long time, I had thought something was wrong with me. But, it's not. I'm a witch, Daniel. Magic is real. Hogwarts is real, I attended school there for almost five years," Catherine said. He looked up at her and shook his head.

"This is ridiculous Catherine, there's no such thing as magic or witches. And if what you say is true, why did you tell me you went to school in France," Daniel replied.

"I told you that because that's what my parents wanted everyone to think. Plus, we're not supposed to go around advertising the fact that we're witches or wizards to non-magical people. My parents needed a cover story, that's the one my dad came up with," Catherine explained. Daniel scrubbed his face with his hands.

"You really expect me to believe that you're a witch, you went to a magical school and our youngest daughter is also a witch? And your parents knew about all of this, but had to keep it a secret from everyone, so they invented a fictional boarding school? Do you see how completely mad this all sounds, Catherine?" Daniel got up and began to pace around the room again. "There is no such thing as magic, you know it, I know it. Why do you keep insisting that there is?" Catherine rose up from the sofa as well, her hands on her hips.

"And why do you keep insisting that there's not?" she yelled. "Obviously, I'm just going to have to prove it to you." She bent down and picked up the bag she had taken the letter from and took out her wand. She still couldn't believe that her father had kept it.

"A stick? You're going to show me a stick to convince me that magic exists?" Daniel snorted. "Did you pick it up out of the yard the last time there was a wind storm?"

"It's not a stick, Daniel, it's a wand. And yes, I think this will convince you. Lumos!" The end of Catherine's wand glowed with light. Catherine smiled, pleased that she could still do it. Daniel's jaw dropped, but he recovered quickly.

"So you have a stick that lights up," Daniel sneered. "I'm sure there are batteries somewhere. That's supposed to convince me?" Catherine sighed.

"Fine, go close and lock the door," she pointed to the door of the study.

"Why do you want **me** to do it?" he asked suspiciously.

"Because if I do it, you'll just accuse me of not actually locking it or something," Catherine said in exasperation. She motioned toward the door again. Daniel sighed and walked over to the door, closing and locking it. Saying a silent prayer that this would work, Catherine pointed her wand at the door.

"Alohomora," she said, giving her wand a flick. The door unlocked itself and opened slightly. Catherine couldn't help but grin. It felt so good to have her wand back in her hand again. Daniel once again stared, open-mouthed. He looked from the door to her and back again.

"Convinced yet, or do you need to see more?" Catherine asked. When he didn't reply, she made the scotch bottle he had opened soar through the air and top off the drink he had left sitting on the table. The bottle then returned to the liquor cabinet and capped itself. Catherine waited patiently for Daniel to say something.

"How did you do that?" he asked incredulous.

"I told you, I'm a witch," Catherine said. Daniel stood silent, clearly trying to figure out what to say.

"Why didn't you tell me before now? Why didn't you stay at that school, Hog-whatever?" he asked.

"Hogwarts. That's a long story," Catherine told Daniel the story of her start at Hogwarts and the reason her parents made her leave.

"Why didn't you go back?" he asked. "You could have, when you were an adult, but you didn't." Catherine sighed and swallowed. She really didn't want to get into her relationship with Sirius.

"Do you remember when I told you that I'd had a boyfriend at my other school and that it hadn't ended well?" she asked and he nodded. "Well, that was the main reason I didn't go back. I could have when I turned 17, witches and wizards come of age at 17. And then I met you and well, I decided to try and forget I was a witch so I could be with you."

"So you can just turn the magic on and off like that?" Daniel asked when she had finished. "Maybe you can teach Miranda how to turn it off then."

"It's not that simple Daniel. First of all, she's just a baby, she doesn't even understand what she's doing. I have no idea how I would teach her to just 'turn it off'. When my parents forced me to come home, I longed to go back to Hogwarts every single day. Even after," she paused, taking a breath. "Even after my relationship ended, I still missed my friends and the magical world desperately. It wasn't until I met you that I stopped thinking about it all the time. And once I fell in love with you, well, I decided to give it up. For you."

"Then you can give it up again. We can go back to how things were. When Miranda gets older, we can teach her not to do it and everything will be fine," Daniel said, sounding relieved that he had come up with a solution.

"Daniel, I don't think that will work," Catherine said quietly. "And it's not just Miranda."

"What do you mean, it's not just Miranda?" Daniel asked suspiciously.

"It's all the children Daniel," Catherine answered. "Rory and Ellie have done magic too."

"I've never seen them," he insisted.

"That's because most of the time, it's happened when you're at work. But it the first time Ellie did it, was in front of you. You just didn't notice," Catherine said.

"What are you talking about?" Daniel demanded.

"Remember the incident with the blocks when Rory was a baby?" Daniel nodded. "Ellie didn't pick those blocks up and throw them. She never touched them at all. She just made them move," Catherine answered.

"I don't understand," Daniel said, shaking his head.

"As I said, when witches and wizards are young, they sometimes make things happen when they're angry or scared. Ellie was angry you were ignoring her and Miranda was angry that Ellie wouldn't give her the doll," Catherine explained.

"Rory's never done anything," Daniel said, almost defiantly.

"Yes, Daniel, he has. He normally makes things happen when he's happy. I'm not sure if that means he's more powerful than the girls or not," Catherine told him.

"No, it's not true, I don't believe it," Daniel sounded as though he were trying to convince himself.

"I'm sorry, but it is true. I was surprised, I didn't know if the children would have any powers, given that I was a muggleborn and you're a muggle," Catherine said thoughtfully.

"Muggle? What in the world is a muggle?" Daniel asked.

"Someone non-magical," Catherine answered absently. "I'm a muggleborn because neither of my parents is magical. But Daniel, I fully expect to have one of these," she held up her Hogwarts letter, "with Ellie's name on it in five years."

"No, I won't allow it, you'll all just give it up. That's all there is to it," Daniel said. "You said that you gave it up and turned off your powers. You can teach the children to do the same thing." He smiled as if he had just solved all their problems.

"I didn't 'turn off my powers', as you put it," Catherine said. "I simply stopped using them. My father took away my wand when they brought me home from school and I had no idea he kept it until today. As to the children, why should they have to give it up? Why should I have to, for that matter?"

"But you told me you gave it up for me," Daniel said, clearly confused. "Why wouldn't you want to do that again?"

"Daniel," Catherine said gently. "I had everything I knew and loved ripped out from under me when I was 16 because there was a maniac running around who convinced the kids who attacked me that I was less than they were simply because of who my parents were. And then I lost someone who was everything to me a few months later. I was miserable. Then you came into my life and made me feel happy again. I was so scared of losing you and I didn't know how you would take this kind of news. We were so young, Daniel." Catherine shook her head.

"So what are you saying? You don't love me like that anymore?" Daniel asked quietly.

"No!" Catherine almost shouted. "I love you now as much as I did then. I love you, I love our children, I love our life. But we're older now, we're wiser. Back then I was afraid that you would think I was abnormal, some type of freak or something. But I wasn't and I'm not now and neither are our children. I won't have them feeling ashamed for something that is as much a part of them as the color of their hair."

"It is abnormal, Catherine," Daniel insisted. "If it wasn't, people like you would be walking around doing magic all the time. Why is it supposed to be such a big secret if there's nothing wrong with it?"

"Because there are way more people that feel like you do, than not. There are too many that would try to take advantage of us, too much fear about what magic really means. We don't advertise it in order to protect ourselves," Catherine replied. "There are too many people that wouldn't be able to handle it. But you don't have to be one of those people Daniel. You can embrace this, just like you've embraced everything else about the children and me. We're still the same people. We're just people with a little something extra." They stood in silence for a long time. Daniel ran a hand through his hair and sighed loudly.

"But you're not the same people. You're not the same woman that I fell in love with and they're not the children I thought I had. You lied to me. I'm sorry Catherine," he looked at her sadly and walked out of the room.

Catherine sat stock still on the couch, watching as her husband walked out of the room. She remained frozen as she listened to the front door open and then close again. She heard his car start and the sound of the motor slowly fade away. She looked down at the Hogwarts letter that was still in her hand and set it on the table, picking up her wand once more. She ran a hand over its surface, it fairly vibrated in her hand. She had read a bit about wand lore and had worried that perhaps the wand wouldn't work after so many years in idleness, that the core might need to be replaced, but she had been pleasantly surprised by the swiftness with which she was able to perform spells she hadn't thought about it such a long time. Shaking herself from her reverie, she stood and moved to the cupboard, pouring herself a glass of scotch which she gulped down in one go. He would be back, she thought. Once he'd calmed down and reconciled things in his mind, he would be back.

* * *

**29 July 1993**

"He didn't come back though," Catherine said, not looking at Remus now for fear of the pity she would see in his eyes. "Not that night anyway. I waited up until two in the morning, then fell asleep on the couch in the study. When I woke up, he still hadn't returned, but a check of our bedroom told me that he hadn't come and packed a bag or anything either, so I waited. By mid-morning he still wasn't there, so I called my mother and asked her to watch the children for a bit longer. By dinnertime though, Daniel still hadn't come back. I couldn't stand to be in the house anymore, so I left him a note and went to my mother's. After dinner we put the children to bed and then I told my mother the whole story. I was oddly calm, there were no tears, I just told her what had happened." She continued quietly.

"My mother asked me if I thought Daniel was gone for good. I told her absolutely not. I knew he would come back. He just needed time. This was a big secret, something I had kept from him for nine years, something that affected the children. He would come back when he'd had time to think it all through, I was sure of it." She shook her head ruefully and glanced at Remus. He smiled sadly at her and she took in a shaky breath, grasping the hand that he offered to her over the table.

"The next day I took the children home, but Daniel still wasn't there. Either he or someone else had been though, there were clothes missing from the closet and his briefcase was gone. Ellie and Rory kept asking me where he was, so I told them he had gone on a business trip, which he did occasionally. But days turned into a week and I couldn't lie to them anymore. I finally told them that Mummy and Daddy had a fight and Daddy was staying somewhere else for a while. Rory seemed to accept that, I don't think he really understood, he was only 3 1/2. But Ellie was full of questions. I mostly ignored them, tried to change the subject, but she was persistent. Finally I yelled at her to stop badgering me," Catherine shook her head, ashamed at her behavior. "She ran to her room and slammed the door, didn't talk to me the whole next day. But she didn't ask me any more questions."

"I'm sure you did the best you could in a horrible situation," Remus said. "It wasn't your fault." But Catherine shook her head.

"Yes, it was my fault," she said sadly, turning to look at him as a single tear slid down her cheek. "If I had been honest with Daniel from the start, none of this would have happened." Remus raised a hand and softly wiped the tear away with his thumb. Catherine gave him a watery smile and then looked away.

"If you had told him from the beginning you might not have your children now," Remus said quietly and Catherine nodded.

"That's true," she said. "But I still should have told him. I should have listened to my mother from the start."

"You told me that he saved you," Remus continued. "That he fixed that broken piece of you. What would have happened to you if you had lost him before he'd even started?"

"I don't know," Catherine admitted. "But that's not an excuse for what I did for so many years."

"But you didn't actually lie to him, you just didn't give him all the information," Remus said.

"A lie of omission is still a lie," Catherine replied quietly.

"Is it?" Remus asked. "Is it a lie because I do not tell everyone I meet about my true nature?"

"That's different," Catherine protested, shaking her head.

"How is it different?" Remus asked. "I've got a secret, the same as you did and yet you seem to have no problem with the fact that I don't inform everyone around me about it."

"He was my _husband,_ Remus," Catherine objected. "Unless you are keeping your secret from someone you are in the same room with on the full moon, it's not the same thing."

"Perhaps not," Remus finally agreed. "But I do think you're too hard on yourself. It sounds to me as if Daniel was not the most supportive of people." Catherine laughed mirthlessly.

"That is an understatement to be sure," she said. She paused for a moment looking out into the night. "Are you sure you want to hear the rest of this. It doesn't get any prettier."

"Only if you want to tell me," he replied. "I'll understand if you don't." Catherine nodded and continued.

"A week became two and before I knew it a month had gone by with no word from Daniel. I wasn't even really sure where he was, I suspected he was at his parents'. I know he was going to work and he kept putting money into our account, so I could at least pay the bills. The children became more and more distant from me. I knew they needed answers, but I didn't know what to tell them. Rory cried for Daniel almost every night, he took to sleeping in my bed with me. Ellie rarely spoke, she had always been quiet, but this was something completely different. Even Miranda wasn't her usual bubbly self." Catherine hugged her arms around herself, remembering her children's retreat from the world. Another tear trickled down her cheek.

"It was my mother that finally knocked some sense into me. She came over one afternoon and we were all still in our pajamas. I hadn't even gotten Ellie off to school that day and the school had called my mother looking for her. There were dirty dishes piled in the sink, toys everywhere, piles of laundry on the bedroom floors. She took one look at everything and hustled the children off to the bath. When they were all clean and dressed she sent Ellie and Rory next door to play with the neighbors and put Miranda down for a nap. Then she came and stood in front of me and told me to snap out of it. She told me my children needed me and that if I didn't pull it together, I would lose them. I just stared at her and then I burst into tears. She sat on the couch and held me until I cried myself out and then she told me to go and take a shower. When I got out, the dishes were done, the toys cleaned up and the laundry started. I cried all over again. But she told me the time for crying was over. I needed to figure out what I was going to tell the children. I needed to be strong for them. I knew she was right."

"I went and got Ellie and Rory from the neighbor's and sat them down at the kitchen table. I told them again that their father and I had a fight and that he had decided he needed to live somewhere else. I told them they could ask me anything they wanted and I would try to answer as best I could. Ellie wanted to know what we had fought about and I told her that I had kept something from her father and that he had found out about it and he was angry with me. 'You mean a lie? You told Daddy a lie?' she asked. I told her not exactly, but I hadn't told him something that I should have. Rory asked me if Daniel was going to come back and I told him that I didn't know, but that I hoped he would. They asked me where he was and I said that I thought he was at their grandparent's house, but I wasn't sure." Catherine paused and took a deep breath.

"Then Rory asked me if his daddy loved him anymore." The tears were rolling down her cheeks in earnest now. "And I," she faltered, her breath hitching, "I," Catherine broke off, crying quietly. Remus got up and walked around the table. He knelt in front of her and gathered her into his arms. And she began sobbing, leaning into Remus, letting all of the hurt and sadness that she had been keeping hidden for the last five years flow out of her. As her sobs slowly subsided, Catherine's body relaxed. She did not move from Remus' arms, nor did he make any move to let her go. She felt peaceful, for the first time in a long time. When she finally pulled away, she gave Remus a sheepish smile and he just patted her shoulder, standing once again.

"Sorry about that," she said, wiping the tears from her face. "I've never told anyone about that day."

"Catherine if this is too difficult, you don't have to go on," Remus said. "I think I've got a pretty good idea of what happened from here."

"Then, I think you'll be surprised," she continued, smiling at the look of shock that crossed Remus' face. She shivered a bit in the cooling evening air.

"Should we go inside?" Remus asked and Catherine nodded. She stood and Remus opened the door into the house, ushering her in first. They went into the lounge and Catherine sat down on the couch, Remus in the chair across from her.

"Where was I? Oh, yes, as I said, Rory asked me if his daddy still loved him. It would not be the first time I lied to my son, although at the time, I didn't know it was a lie. I told him that of course his father still loved him and that Daniel's anger was all for me. The children had nothing to do with it. The children had a rough time, as expected. They were so used to Daniel's devotion to them. I called his office a few times, but his secretary always told me that he was busy or he wasn't there. He never called me back. I couldn't bring myself to call his parents. You know how his mother felt about me. And while his father had always seemed to like me, he was gone so often that he never had much to do with familial decisions." Catherine looked down at her hands.

"Time continued on and before I knew it two months had passed. I had given up on reconciliation with Daniel, but I couldn't understand how he could not at least call to check on the children. Plus, he was still paying all of the bills and I had even found envelopes full of money in the mailbox from time to time." Catherine shook her head. "Had I not been allowing Daniel to manipulate me for the last nine years, I would have seen it for what it really was." Remus looked at her quizzically. "Let's just say he would have made an excellent Slytherin."


	22. Set Fire to the Rain

**A/N - Hello everyone. I have to say that I struggled a bit with posting today in light of all that happened last week in Connecticut. My heart has been very heavy the last few days and this story has taken a darker turn at a time when I wish I could just post a light and fluffy Sirius and Catherine chapter. And so I nearly decide to wait. But then I thought about how much of an escape reading is for me, whether it be here or the many books that I also read and how helpful that has always been in times of stress. And so, here is the next chapter as promised. Please keep all of the people of Newtown in your thoughts and your prayers, if you are a praying person. Thank you to all my readers and reviewers. Oh and chapter title is the song by Adele, which I also do not own. :)**

**Chapter 22**

**Set Fire to the Rain**

**28 June 1988**

Catherine had just sat down after cleaning up from lunch when the doorbell rang. Sighing, she stood and answered the door. A man stood there with an envelope in his hand.

"Catherine Cooper?" he asked and she nodded. "This is for you." He handed her the envelope and turned and walked back down the drive. Catherine closed the door and opened the envelope with shaky fingers. She read through the papers inside, bringing a hand to her mouth, a sob escaping her throat. She slumped back against the wall, sliding down it to the floor, the papers fluttering down next to her.

"Mummy?" Rory said tentatively as he walked into the hall. His lip began to quiver at the sight of his mother on the floor with her face in her hands. She looked up and held her arms out to him. He raced into them and she rubbed his back and kissed his temple, rocking him back and forth. After a few minutes, she gathered up the papers and then stood, still holding Rory and walked into the kitchen. She laid the envelope on the counter and picked up the phone and called her mother.

* * *

A half hour later, Miranda was down for a nap, while Rory and Ellie played in Ellie's bedroom. Catherine and her mother sat at the kitchen table, both with cups of tea, examining the papers.

"So he is suing you for custody of the children because you think you're a witch and that you want the children to practice your 'craft'," her mother said.

"Essentially," Catherine replied, taking a sip of her tea. "Oh and don't forget about my 'stick' that I pretend is a wand." Her mother snorted at the ridiculousness of the whole thing.

"I never thought he would go this far," her mother said shaking her head.

"Neither did I," Catherine admitted, looking down at her cup. "I knew he was angry and hurt that night he left, but I never thought," her voice caught and she just shook her head, trying to keep the tears at bay. Her mother reached across the table and grasped her hand.

"We'll get through this Catherine," her mother said and Catherine nodded.

"At least now I know what the money was about," she said, shaking her head in disgust.

"Ah, yes, you've refused to let him see the children unless he continues to support you financially," her mother said, anger in her voice.

"Don't forget the part where he said he had been doing that, but I still wouldn't let him see them until he admitted that he believed I was a witch," Catherine returned. Jane sighed, rubbing a hand across her forehead.

"So what are you going to do?" she asked.

"I don't know Mum, no matter what I do, he wins," Catherine sighed and took another sip of tea.

"How so?" her mother asked, brow furrowed.

"If I deny being a witch, Daniel wins because he wanted me to give it up as I had once before. If I admit I am one and try to prove it, I expose magic to the muggle world and at best have my wand snapped in two and at worst be taken to Azkaban. Again, he wins. If I admit to being a witch, but don't do anything to prove it, I get locked up in some psychiatric hospital somewhere. So Daniel wins no matter what. He's going to get them Mum," Catherine whispered. "It's merely a question of whether he's going to get me in the bargain because I will not lose them."

"No, he is not," her mother insisted, taking both of her daughter's hands in hers. "We will fight him and we will win."

"How? How are we going to fight him?" Catherine asked. "He's got infinite resources, thanks to his parents. You know how good he is at getting people to see what he wants them to see. I wouldn't put it past him to bribe someone."

"That may be true, but you have something he doesn't," her mother pressed. "Two things actually."

"What are those?" Catherine asked tiredly.

"You love your children with a fierceness that can only come from a mother," Jane replied. "Do not underestimate that, my dear. And, you have magic."

"And just what good is that going to do me?" Catherine posed. "That's what got me into this mess in the first place."

"No, your husband's arrogance and idiocy is what got you into this mess in the first place," her mother said her mouth in a tight line. "If he had just tried to step outside his rigid comfort zone," her mother waved a hand in exasperation. "But that is neither here nor there. What we need is a plan. And I think I may have an idea."

* * *

**30 June 1988**

Catherine arranged the tea tray nervously as she waited for Daniel to arrive. Her mother had been right. As soon as Catherine called Nora and told her that she had received the papers and wanted to discuss things with Daniel, he was miraculously available and came to the phone immediately. She told him that she thought it was time he came home and when he asked her if she were ready to agree to his terms she crossed her fingers and said yes.

She checked her pocket one last time, making sure her wand was still there, when she heard the front door open and close. She stood from the couch and waited for him to enter the room.

"Daniel," she said politely. He looked at her in surprise, clearly taken aback by her tone and poise. Catherine was sure he had expected her to be in a sniveling, weepy mess. She held back a smile by the slimmest of margins, gesturing to the tea tray and asking him to sit down.

"Where are the children?" he demanded, looking around the room as if they would appear out of thin air.

"They're with my mother," Catherine replied. "I thought we should talk in private first." He stared at her for a moment, then gave a short nod and sat down in the chair across from the couch. Catherine sat back down and poured the tea, preparing his as she knew he liked it and handed it to him. She forced herself to remain calm, knew she would have to show no emotion if she were going to pull this off. Inside, her stomach was roiling and she felt very close to throwing up.

"So, you're ready to agree to my terms then," he said, taking a sip of his tea. Catherine merely inclined her head, bringing her own tea cup to her lips, inwardly triumphant that her hands were not shaking. "Good, I expect you to give up magic, just as you did before. I want your wand so I can burn it. You're to tell the children nothing of witchcraft and if and when they do receive a letter from that school of yours, I'll burn those too. When they're old enough, I'll expect you to stamp the magic out of them. I don't care how you do it, but I don't want to see any displays of it ever again." Catherine took another sip of her tea, inwardly seething, but able to maintain her outward display of calm.

"I appreciate all you've said," Catherine said, setting her tea cup down on the table. "But I have a few demands of my own."

"You are in no position to make demands Catherine," he replied with disdain.

"Well, since I am the one with the wand, I beg to differ," she replied. Daniel looked up at her sharply, his eyes narrowing. "You see, Daniel, the fact that I am a witch is just the tip of the iceberg. Besides having its own school, the magical community has its own government, its own financial system, its own villages and settlements in some places. I have a vault at our magical bank which is full of gold." His eyes widened at this. Catherine knew that it really wasn't true, but Daniel didn't. "That's right, I said gold. And you cannot even see the entrance to the street where the bank is, as it's invisible to muggles. If you do not drop this suit immediately, if I feel even the slightest threat that you plan to try and take the children away from me, I will take them and disappear into the magical world for good. You will not have a prayer of finding us. Those spells I did for you the other day? Those are nothing compared to the charms and spells I can place on us to change our appearances. We could walk right past you on the street and you wouldn't recognize us." And then she reached into her pocket, withdrew her wand and turned his tea cup, which he still happened to be holding, into a mouse.

Daniel shrieked and dropped the mouse onto the table in front of him. Catherine withheld a snicker. He had always been a bit afraid of mice. He stared at it as it ran across the table, trying to find a way to climb down, unable to take his eyes off of it. When Catherine felt he had been sufficiently tortured, she waved her wand again and the mouse turned back into the cup. And then she looked up expectantly at him.

His face had gone a rather impressive shade of red and Catherine could tell the wheels were turning in his mind as he tried to come up with something to counter all she had said. She knew it wouldn't take him long and she knew exactly what he was going to say. So when an evil grin spread across his face, she looked at him calmly and waited.

"You forgot about one thing," he said.

"Oh really?" she queried. "And what would that be?"

"Your mother," he said in satisfaction. "If you disappear with the children, you won't like what will happen to your mother." Then he sat back in his chair and folded his hands in his lap confidently. Catherine shook her head in disgust. She had been expecting this of course, but she hoped that he had a shred of decency left. Any love that she still felt for him after he had delivered the papers to her died in that moment. Taking her silence as fear, he continued.

"You said yourself that people like us can't see this magical world of yours, so she won't be able to go with you. Are you willing to trade your mother's safety for my children?"

"They are _my_ children, not yours," she hissed. "You haven't tried to speak to them, tried to see them, in two months! You don't even want them, unless it's on your own terms." He just shrugged, looking unconcerned. Catherine wanted nothing more than to wipe the smug look off his face. And so she dropped her final bomb of the day.

"Unfortunately for you, that plan won't work," she said. "You see, though my mother is not a witch, she has already been into my world many times. She's been to the street I was speaking about, went into the bank with me as a matter of fact. Because she fully accepts my world, believes in it whole-heartedly, she can go anywhere with us. She can be disguised just as we can, can live with us no matter where we choose to go. As a matter of fact, she is waiting right now with the children. One phone call to her and she will disappear to a place where none of us can ever be touched and you will not be able to follow." She finished and waited, watching him fidget and glare at her. She ignored him, continuing to drink her tea, until he finally jumped up from his chair.

"This isn't over," he hissed. Then he turned and stomped out the front door, slamming it behind him. Catherine sank back into the couch, her hands shaking and breathing hard. She had done it. She couldn't believe that she had done it. But if she knew Daniel, he wouldn't give up. There would be more to come.

* * *

**29 July 1993**

Catherine took a deep breath and looked at Remus. He was staring at her, smirk on his face.

"What?" she asked.

"I'm not sure why you were so surprised that you could do it," he said. "I never would have doubted you."

"You also haven't seen me for 15 years," Catherine said quietly. "I told you that I changed. That he changed me. That's not something Daniel ever would have expected because I very rarely stood up to him. I never thought I needed to, I always agreed with what he wanted." Remus leaned forward and put a hand on her knee.

"I don't think any less of you because of that," Remus said.

"I appreciate that, but I think less of myself," she replied, sighing loudly.

"But you're here with the children now, so obviously you beat him," Remus said.

"I did, but at what cost," she said sadly. Remus just quirked an eyebrow at her. She shook her head, then got up and began to pace around the room. "The first thing he did was financial. He was no longer putting money into our bank account and he stopped paying the bills and had them all redirected to me. I really hadn't spent any of the money he'd been leaving in the envelopes, so at first I was able to pay everything, but then it just became too much. I knew I would never be able to keep the house. This place was big enough for all of us and it was paid for, so my mother offered to let us move in with her."

"That actually turned out to be a good thing. The children seemed happier here, as if our house didn't hold any good memories for them. Daniel moved back into our house once we moved out, something I think was his plan from the start. Anyway, I started looking for work and took a job as a tailor's assistant in the meantime. I could do the vast majority of the work at home, which was what I wanted. I also took in alterations from the neighborhood, most of our old neighbors still lived here and they all wanted to help me out. I can never thank my mum for everything she did for us. With her help, I managed to keep the children clothed and fed and relatively happy."

"I didn't hear anything from Daniel for a while," Catherine continued. "Rory and Ellie still asked about him quite often and Rory still cried for him at night sometimes. Miranda didn't seem affected much at all, but she was so little and she had been a mumma's girl from the start. Anyway, we were doing all right, when Daniel tried another tactic."

"I can only imagine what that was," Remus said dryly and Catherine chuckled.

"Well, you would be right," she replied, stopping in her pacing to smile at him. "He decided to try to win me back." Remus just rolled his eyes and shook his head. "He sent me flowers and notes, proclaiming his love and devotion to me. I knew he was just trying to soften me up and once I had forgiven him, he would go back to his original demands about giving up magic. I guess he figured that if I fell back in love with him, I would do whatever he wanted. I never realized how weak he thought I was," Catherine said sadly, shaking her head. "I think he sensed, way back when we met, that I was a mess and just looking for someone to rescue me from it. Like I said before, he would have made an excellent Slytherin."

"When he realized that wasn't going to work, he changed tactics yet again," she said. "He called and asked to see the children. My first instinct was to refuse, but I knew that Ellie and Rory really wanted to see him. And he was still their father. Before all of this happened, I never would have described him as anything but loving and devoted to them. Somehow, I couldn't imagine that the fact that they were magical would just turn off that love for them. So I told him that we needed to meet first. He agreed." Remus looked surprised at this, but he didn't say anything as she continued.

"We met for lunch a couple of days later," Catherine said. "He looked tired and stressed and had these dark circles under his eyes. He apologized to me and admitted that he had gone about things the wrong way. He told me that he felt horrible for threatening my mother and that he never really meant it, that he never would have followed through. He said he was just terrified of losing the children."

"When I asked him why he hadn't bothered to try and see them before now, he said that he was just so shocked that they were magical that he hadn't been himself," she continued shaking her head. "And then he felt as if he would be left behind, since he wasn't a part of our world. Sadly, I believed him." Remus furrowed his brows at her.

"I know," she sighed, shaking her head in embarrassment. "He seemed so sincere though and I still wasn't completely out from under his spell. I didn't want the children to grow up without a father and if he wanted to be in their lives and was willing to accept them, then I wanted that for them." She looked at Remus, pleading with her eyes for him to understand.

"As I said to you before, I'm in no position to judge," he said with a smile.

"So I agreed to the visit. He told me that he just wanted to take the older two, that Miranda was too little and he didn't want to upset her. I thought this was a bit odd, but at the same time, it did make sense and it made me drop my guard a bit more, feeling like he was really looking out for their best interests," Catherine said. Remus nodded in understanding.

"We agreed that he would come and pick them up the following day and before I left, he asked if I had told them about them being magical. I asked him why and he said he just wanted to know if he should avoid the subject or not. I was wary, but I told him that I hadn't said anything to them about it."

"The first few visits went fine. He took Ellie and Rory for the day and brought them home by dinnertime. Both of the children were happy when they returned and Daniel was cordial to me when he picked them up and dropped them off," Catherine continued. "I was still suspicious, but the children were so happy to see their father and spend time with him, that I brushed that aside. Most of the time after he brought them home, Daniel would even spend a few minutes with Miranda. So when he asked me if he could keep them overnight the next time, I agreed almost immediately, even though there was a little voice inside my head that was screaming, 'NO!' " Catherine turned to Remus. "I should have listened to my gut and taken them and run. It would have saved us all a lot of heartache."

* * *

**27 August 1988**

"Come on you two, your father will be here soon," Catherine called to her older children.

"Ready Mummy!" Rory said as he raced out of his room, bulging bag and stuffed dinosaur in tow. Catherine chuckled and ruffled his hair.

"Why don't you have your dino in your bag?" she asked.

"He wouldn't fit," Rory said. Catherine took the bag from his hand and looked inside.

"Rory, what on earth do you have in here?" she exclaimed and the little boy shrugged. "It looks like you packed every toy you own. You're only going to be there overnight."

"Mummy, me and Daddy like to play lots of stuff," he huffed, hands on his hips. She bit back a laugh and reclosed the bag.

"Just remember that your sister will be there too," Catherine reminded him. "She doesn't always like to play the same things you do." Rory just rolled his eyes. Catherine looked up as she heard footsteps on the stairs and saw her oldest daughter coming down with her own bag in her hand.

"All packed?" Catherine asked and the girl nodded. Catherine cocked her head in puzzlement at the expression on Ellie's face. "Everything all right sweetheart?" Ellie shrugged with a glance at her brother. Catherine, catching on, turned to her son. "Rory, why don't you go find Grandma. She told me that she made some biscuits for you to take along." Rory smiled and raced out of the room, sweets never failing to grab his attention.

"Now, what's the matter?" Catherine asked again. Ellie didn't say anything just worried her lip with her teeth. "Don't you want to stay with your father?"

"Yes, but," Ellie trailed off, looking up guiltily at her mother. Catherine crouched down in front of the girl.

"Are you worried that I'll be upset if you're happy about it?" she asked and Ellie nodded. Catherine gathered her daughter into her arms. "Ellie, I want you to be able to see your dad and have fun with him. Just because we don't live together anymore doesn't mean he isn't still your daddy." She pulled back from her daughter and looked her in the eye. "All right?" Ellie nodded again, smiling this time and hugged her mother once more. A knock on the door made them both look up and Catherine called for Rory before she moved to answer it.

"Daniel," she greeted, as she ushered him into the house.

"Catherine," he returned politely, then looked over at Ellie. "Hey, there's my girl." Ellie smiled and ran to him, hugging him tightly. He patted her back and gave her a quick squeeze then glanced up at Catherine again. There was a look in his eye that Catherine really couldn't place, although if she'd been forced to name it she would have said it looked something like regret. Her heart caught for a single second until her brain forced all the images of his betrayal with his failed attempt at suing her for custody back to the forefront of her mind and her eyes hardened. He looked away from her just as Rory burst through the kitchen doorway.

"Daddy!" he yelled as he ran full-tilt towards his father. Daniel caught him and swung him up into his arms, balancing the boy on his hip.

"Here's my best mate," Daniel said smiling and Catherine couldn't help the pull at her heart once more at their smiles for each other. "All set then?" he asked, looking between Rory and Ellie. Ellie nodded and picked up her bag, but Rory shook his head.

"We have to wait Daddy," Rory insisted. "Grandma has biscuits." Just then Jane walked in from the kitchen, container of biscuits in one hand, Miranda settled on her opposite hip. Catherine reached for the baby, planting a kiss on her cheek as Miranda giggled. From the corner of her eye, she saw a wistful look on Daniel's face, but it was gone as quickly as it had come. Catherine frowned, something niggling at the back of her mind, but unable to say just what it was.

"Well, we can't leave without your grandma's biscuits," Daniel agreed. "I think they just might be the best in all of England." He smiled at Jane, who simply thrust the tin out towards him, her lips in a tight line. Catherine held back a smirk at his failed attempts at flattery. "Well, we'd better get going then." He set Rory down as Catherine handed him the small suitcase she had packed with the children's clothes. She saw him give the same look to Miranda once more.

"Are you sure you don't want to take her too?" Catherine asked in a moment of generosity. "I can have her things packed in just a few minutes." Daniel ran a finger down the baby's cheek and she smiled at him, then buried her face in her mother's neck.

"No, no, better to wait until she's older," Daniel said. "I don't want her to be frightened. But maybe I could pick her up tomorrow? Take her out to lunch with us?"

"All right," Catherine agreed and Daniel nodded.

"Say goodbye to your mother, you two," he said, addressing Ellie and Rory. Catherine handed Miranda off to her grandmother, then knelt down and gathered her two oldest children to her. She hugged them fiercely, something still poking at the back of her mind. As she felt their small arms come around her, she had to hold in a sob. Wondering just what on earth had gotten into her, she shook her head as if to clear it and kissed them both on top of their heads.

"I love you both. Be good for your father now," she said as she stood. Jane looked at her in confusion, obviously having noticed the brightness in Catherine's eyes as well as the slight shaky quality to her voice. Catherine cleared her throat and then looked up at Daniel. He met her gaze, his face softening for a mere instant before pulling back into the neutral expression he had been wearing when she began her goodbyes. Catherine's eyes narrowed as he looked back down to the children.

"All right, let's go," he said cheerily and they picked up their bags and walked out the door. He turned back before he too left the house. "Good-bye Catherine," he said quietly and as she shut the door behind him, Catherine gasped, bringing a hand to her chest.

"Catherine?" her mother said in concern, placing a hand on her daughter's arm. Catherine stared at the closed door for another few moments and then looked at her mother.

"It's nothing, I just," she broke off as she heard the car back down the drive. "It's nothing," she insisted, shaking her head and taking her baby girl back from her mother. She kissed Miranda's cheek and held her tightly to her until the baby began to squirm. Jane continued to look from the door to Catherine in confusion. Catherine shook her head a final time and then set her squirming daughter down, following her as she toddled into the lounge.

* * *

**29 July 1993**

Remus was looking at Catherine in concern as the tears coursed down her cheeks. He moved next to her on the couch and touched her hand. She looked up at him, anguish and regret plain on her face and he gathered her to him without a word.

"I knew something was wrong," she managed to say. "The minute he looked at me when Ellie was hugging him, I knew it. But I couldn't name what it was and then he talked about coming back the next day and taking Miranda out to lunch with them and I just pushed it out of my mind." She stood abruptly, startling Remus, and she began to pace up and down in front of the couch. "When I hugged the kids I felt like it was for the last time and the way he said good-bye to me," she stopped and shook her head. "I should have known. I should have stopped him."

"What happened?" Remus asked. Catherine began to pace again, furiously wiping the tears from her face.

"He didn't come and get Miranda for lunch the next day like he said he was going to," Catherine replied. "I called and there was no answer. He wasn't supposed to bring them home until 5:00, so I tried not to panic. I thought that maybe he just changed his mind or forgot or something. But when 5:00 came and went and they didn't come back, I knew. I drove to the house and it was empty." She looked back at Remus and he gave her a confused look. "I mean completely empty. No furniture, nothing. He'd taken the children and run." Remus' mouth dropped open and Catherine's face hardened.

"I still had a key, so I let myself in. I searched the entire place, but there wasn't anything, not one scrap of paper that might have given me a clue as to where they'd gone," she said. "So I got in my car and drove to his parents' house."

* * *

**28 August 1988**

Catherine strode from her car and up the walk, anger seething from every pore of her body. She could feel her magic crackling around her as well and strove to keep it under control as she reached the door. She rang the bell, then crossed her arms in front of her, waiting to be let in. The door was open a few minutes later by what Catherine could only classify as a butler. The ridiculousness of the entire thing almost caused her to laugh aloud, but she kept herself in check.

"I'm here to see Nora," Catherine said. At the butler's raised eyebrow, she sighed. "I'm her daughter-in-law."

"I'm sorry, but Mrs. Cooper is indisposed at the moment," the man said, a snobbish air about him.

"Indisposed, my arse," Catherine said through clenched teeth, then reached out and shoved past him and into the house. "Nora!" she shouted as the butler protested behind her.

"Miss, I really must insist that you leave," he said, trying to put a hand on Catherine's arm. She wrenched away from him, a murderous look in her eye.

"Tell Nora I'm here to see her. Now," she growled and was pleased when the butler backed away a step. He recovered quickly, however, standing tall and sniffing derisively at her.

"I am sorry, but as I've already informed you, Mrs. Cooper is indisposed," he said again, looking down his nose at her.

"I'm not in the mood for games," Catherine began, but before she could finish, her mother-in-law walked into the entry.

"I am sorry, madam," he said, bowing to her. "I tried to get her to leave."

"It's quite all right Carlton," Nora said, giving the butler a small smile. "My daughter-in-law has never been known for her, refinement." Catherine snorted. The butler looked at her scathingly, then nodded once again to his employer and walked from the room. Catherine wasted no time.

"Where are they Nora?" she demanded. Her mother-in-law, clasped her hands primly in front of her, then looked up innocently at Catherine.

"I'm sure I don't know who you mean, dear," Nora replied.

"You know damn well who I mean!" Catherine insisted. "Now where are they?"

"Catherine, really, there's no need for vulgarity," Nora said, shaking her head in disappointment.

"Where. Are. My. Children?" Catherine said through gritted teeth, knowing her magic was very close to exploding around her. Nora must have sensed something as she took a small step back, looking at Catherine warily for a mere moment before schooling her features once more.

"I'm sure I don't know," Nora replied. "Why you would expect me to keep track of your children, I have no idea." Catherine sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose with her thumb and forefinger. She took a deep breath and looked back at the older woman.

"Your son took Ellie and Rory with him yesterday. He was supposed to keep them overnight and bring them back to me this evening. He hasn't come back and when I went by the house, it was empty. Completely empty, as in no furniture," Catherine said, managing to keep her voice somewhat calm. "Where are they?"

"Well, isn't this an interesting turn of events?" Nora said, amusement in her voice and Catherine just stared at her. "You've never seemed to need my help at any other time in the past and now, when you've ejected my son from your home and his children's lives, you suddenly come to me for assistance."

"I didn't eject your son from my life and you damn well know it," Catherine retorted. "He left of his own accord, for no good reason, I might add. As to you helping me, when, in all the years I've known you, have you even remotely hinted at the fact that you would agree to help me with anything? You certainly made it very plain that you would not help me stay in school and finish my degree."

"It is not my fault that you chose to trap my son," Nora said, with the first hint of malice in her voice.

"Trap your son?" Catherine asked incredulously. "How could I possibly trap him? We were already married."

"Yes, well, something I'm sure I could have remedied in time, had you not decided to foist a child onto him," Nora returned. Catherine just shook her head in disbelief.

"I realize that you are completely blind when it comes to your son, but he is not the innocent angel you seem to think he is," Catherine said coldly. "Now, where are they?" Nora stared at her for a few moments, then took a few steps in her direction. Catherine held her ground as the other woman approached her, not even flinching as she found Nora only inches from her.

"Do you honestly think that I would tell you where they are?" Nora said, her voice dangerously quiet. "You, who has come up with the most ridiculous story to try and explain the abnormality in your youngest daughter. You, who has threatened to kidnap my grandchildren should my son not back down from his rightful claim on them. You, who continues to punish and try and drag down my son, who only wanted to pick you up out of the gutter and give you a better life. No, I will not tell you where they are and believe me when I say you will _never_ find them." Her voice was full of venom and disgust and she finally stepped away from Catherine after staring at her for a few seconds more.

"Now, I suggest you leave and go back to the one child that you have left, which you have me to thank for," Nora said, her calm mask and haughty manner back in place.

"And just what do you mean by that?" Catherine demanded.

"Daniel planned to take them all, but I convinced him to leave the damaged one with you. He doesn't need to deal with that kind of abnormality," Nora said with a sneer. She turned to go and Catherine's paralysis finally broke.

"Nora!" she shouted and as the woman turned back slightly, Catherine realized that her magic was truly out of her control now. A wind whipped up in the entry where they stood, swirling Catherine's hair around her face, making her look nothing short of lethal. The vase of flowers on the table in the middle of the entryway began to shimmy across its surface. Her mother-in-law's face went white and she brought a hand to her chest. She stumbled back a few steps and by the sheerest force of will, Catherine pulled her magic back inside herself. The wind halted instantly and the flowers stopped moving mere inches from the edge. Catherine took in a gasping breath, panting with the exertion of keeping her emotions under control. She glanced back to Nora who looked as if she might faint dead away and then strode across the entry.

"Still think it's a ridiculous story?" Catherine said quietly as Nora simply gaped at her, her mouth opening and closing like a fish. "You tell your son that I _will_ find him. That I won't stop until I have and when I do, when I do, he _will_ be sorry." She then turned and walked back to the front door, flinging it open. She turned back once more. "And my daughter is _not_ damaged!" Before she could step across the threshold, her mother-in-law's voice stopped her.

"He'll get rid of it," she called to Catherine. "This so-called magic you say the children have. He'll stamp it out and get rid of it, mark my words. He'll break them and make them normal." Catherine looked back over her shoulder.

"Then I'll kill him," she said simply and then walked out the door, slamming it behind her.

* * *

**A/N - Yes I know, another cliffhanger, shame on me! **


	23. Shattered

**A/N - All right everyone, here is the next chapter. This is the last one that will focus solely on Daniel and Catherine, although there is a bit in the next that wraps everything up with them. We will then move back to the POA timeline and yes, Catherine will finally find out what happened to Sirius. :) This chapter is another cliffhanger, sorry about that! Okay, really I'm not ;) Although Tuesday is Christmas, the next chapter is done and just needs to be proofed, so I will still post it on time. It may be later in the day on Tuesday, but it will go up. Whatever holiday you celebrate, I hope that you all have a wonderful one! **

**Chapter 23**

**Shattered**

**29 July 1993**

Catherine drew in a gasping breath, still able to feel the way her emotions had almost gotten away from her that night. She hadn't had a bout of accidental magic since she was a child, until the night her children went missing. She looked at Remus whose face was blank of emotion.

"Remind me never to get on your bad side," he said neutrally and she choked out a laugh and then gasped out a sob. He stood and came to her, taking her upper arms in his hands. "It's all right Catherine," he said quietly. "They're all here and they're safe." She nodded, still breathing heavily and let her forehead rest against his for a moment. Then she looked up at took a deep breath and gave him a smile.

"I know," she said. "It's just, I've never been that out of control." She shook her head and moved away from him, rubbing her hands up and down her arms as if to warm herself. "I don't know how I managed it, but I drove myself back here. My mum told me she'd never seen me look the way I did when I got back to the house. She immediately thought the worst had happened and it took quite some time for me to convince her that while I didn't know where they were, I was sure the children were all right."

"I searched for them for days, went back over all the old places we'd ever lived or visited, places Daniel had always wanted to go and I found nothing," she continued, still rubbing her arms. "I called everyone I could think of and got nothing. His office said he had taken an extended leave, but they didn't know where he'd gone. He had told them he would call in periodically to check on things and I practically begged his secretary to call me when he checked in. But she never did."

"What about the police?" Remus asked.

"I called them and they investigated, but they got nowhere," Catherine said. "Nora stonewalled them at every turn and since we weren't legally divorced yet and there was no custody agreement in place, it couldn't technically be considered kidnapping. So there was only so much they could do without permission and there was no way Nora was going to let them run a trace on her phones, nor would his office." Remus furrowed his brow at this. "It's something they can do to the phones to find out where the other person is calling from. Muggle magic," she smiled and he chuckled. "I let them tap the phones here, but I knew he wouldn't be so stupid as to call me."

"I did get a letter about two weeks after they'd been gone," she said. "He obviously mailed it to someone else and had them drop it here because there was no stamp or postmark. He told me that they children were fine, but that I might as well resign myself to the fact that I would never see them again. He even sent me a picture of the two of them, smiling and laughing." A sob caught in her throat and she buried her face in her hands. Remus guided her to the couch and put his arms around her. He rubbed her back until she calmed, but kept an arm around her as she sat up.

"I don't really know how I made it through that time," Catherine admitted. "If it hadn't been for Miranda, I don't think I would have. At least then I knew what all the wistful looks had been about." She shook her head.

"Why didn't he take her?" Remus asked. "I mean, I realize what Nora said, but do you think that's true? That she convinced him to leave Miranda here because she was, damaged?" Remus spat the word and Catherine returned his disgust with a grimace.

"Yes, I think so. She was the only one he'd actually seen do magic," Catherine replied. "Even though I'd told him that Ellie and Rory had as well, he had never actually seen it. I mean he had, the whole block incident, but he hadn't seen it like he had with the doll. I think that Nora convinced him that Miranda was beyond help." She shrugged.

"I never stopped looking. Sometimes I would just get in the car and drive around, hoping I'd catch a glimpse of them in a park or something," Catherine continued. "I can't tell you how many fliers I mailed to cities and towns all over the UK. I sent some to the continent, mostly to Germany since he'd lived there before and even to the States, to the cities I knew they had lived in. I got a lot of leads that I passed on to the police but none of them led to anything and eventually the police told me I was on my own." Remus rubbed small circles on her back.

"After three months I had nearly given up," Catherine admitted. "My mother was threatening to check me into hospital, I had lost so much weight I wasn't much more than skin and bones. Miranda clung to me almost all the time I was home, which wasn't all that often. I was constantly out looking for them. I was still breathing, but I felt dead inside. Mostly I worried about what Daniel was doing to them. I knew that no matter what he did, he wouldn't be able to get rid of their magic and after what Nora said about him breaking them, I thought," she shuddered and Remus squeezed her shoulder. "I kept telling myself that he really loved them, that he wouldn't do anything that would truly hurt them." She shook her head.

Catherine jumped up again and began to pace, needing to move to dispel the feeling of wanting to jump out of her skin. Retelling this tale, it was unsettling her, as if Daniel were going to walk back into the house and take them from her again at any moment. She kept glancing towards the stairs and had to hold herself back from running up to their bedrooms and gathering them all to her and never letting them go. She glanced back at Remus, who stood and walked toward her.

"Let's go up and look in on them, all right?" he said and she let out the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. She grasped his hand and squeezed it.

Still holding his hand, she led him upstairs. They went to Miranda's room first and Catherine smiled at the little girl's tousled curls and the thumb in her mouth. Remus hung back in the doorway as Catherine pulled the sheet up tighter around her daughter, smoothing some hair off her face. She bent down and kissed Miranda's forehead, then went to Rory's room.

The sheets were tangled around his legs and Catherine smoothed them out before pulling them back up over his body. He snored very lightly and she smiled, then motioned to Remus who walked forward and looked at where she was pointing. Rory had an arm around his Quidditch book and Remus chuckled before Catherine slowly pulled it out from under his arm, laying it on the floor next to his bed. She gave him a kiss as well and then walked down the corridor to Ellie's room.

Here, she was careful not to touch her daughter, knowing that the slightest touch would awaken her and Catherine did not want to explain herself tonight. Instead she just watched the even rise and fall of her chest as she breathed. Catherine kissed her hand and blew the kiss toward Ellie, then silently left the room. Remus took her hand again as she passed by and the two walked back downstairs together.

"Thank you," she said when they'd reached the couch once more and Remus just smiled. She took a few deep breaths and moved away from Remus a bit. This part of the story she needed to get through on her own. She knew that if he were trying to offer her comfort, she would completely break down and be unable to continue. He seemed to understand, for he made no move to follow or pull her back towards him.

"As I said, I had nearly given up," Catherine said quietly, looking down at her hands in her lap. "But one day I just had this feeling and I knew I needed to talk to Sarah. I don't know why, I'd spoken to her a few times before that and she had never given me any indication that she wanted to help me or that she knew where Daniel was. She had moved up near Manchester after she'd gotten married a couple of years before. Before Daniel left, she had told us she was pregnant and I knew she must have had the baby by then, although I had never heard anything about it. Something told me this was my last chance. That if I didn't get answers from her I would never see my children again. So I went."

* * *

**29 November 1988**

Catherine stopped in front of the house and sat looking at it for a moment. Why she thought Sarah would give her answers that she hadn't so far, she wasn't sure, but something was telling her that she needed to try. She had debated on bringing Miranda with her, thinking that seeing the change in the normally bubbly, exuberant child would pull at Sarah's heartstrings. Miranda had gone… dull, was the only word Catherine could think of to describe her. Without her brother and sister and with the change in her mother, the little girl was withdrawing into herself, just as Catherine was. In the end, Catherine decided to leave her at home, worried that the strange surroundings would upset her more than her mother leaving again.

She slowly got out of the car and made her way up the walk to the house. Ringing the bell, she clasped her hands tightly in front of her, praying that Sarah would not just slam the door in her face. The door opened and Sarah stood there, looking at her in confusion for a moment. Then her eyes widened in shock.

"Catherine?" she said, looking her up and down. Catherine nodded, confused. She knew that she was much thinner than she had been, but did she really look that different? Truth be told, she hadn't really been paying much attention to her appearance lately, every glance in the mirror a reminder of the little boy that she had lost. "Oh my god, Catherine," Sarah said, bringing a hand to her mouth, tears forming in her eyes. Catherine looked up at her sister-in-law, her own tears beginning to fall.

"Please," she whispered, spreading her hands in front of her in supplication. "Please help me." Sarah stared at her for a few more moments and then reached a hand out to her. Catherine grasped it and the other woman pulled her into a hug and Catherine began sobbing in earnest. Sarah led her into the house, walking her to the couch and sitting down. When Catherine had quieted, Sarah pulled away from her.

"Catherine, what happened to you?" Sarah asked, still aghast at the change.

"What do you think happened to me?" Catherine demanded, her voice hard. "Your brother stole my children." Sarah looked away, her face reddening. Catherine took a deep breath. "Sarah, please, I'm begging you to help me."

"I can't," she said, shaking her head and rising from the couch.

"Sarah, he stole them from me," she said. "Took them away from their home to god knows where and is doing god knows what to them. Please!"

"Catherine, I'm sorry, but he told me how unstable you had become, the things you were saying," Sarah shook her head. "I know that you love them, but I don't think you're the best person to parent them. And seeing you, seeing what you've become, I have to say, I can't disagree with him." Catherine stared at her in silence, her mind working furiously. So Daniel had convinced his sister that Catherine was crazy and her appearance only seemed to reinforce that. But, she could convince Sarah, she knew she could. The two had always been close.

"Sarah, what did Daniel tell you exactly?" Catherine asked and Sarah glanced at her, almost fearfully.

"He said that something happened with Miranda on Ellie's birthday and that you refused to do anything to help her. He said that you, that you think," she paused, biting her lip. "That you think you're a witch!" Catherine sighed and looked at her lap.

"It's nothing to do with thinking," Catherine said. "I am a witch. And so is Miranda and so is Ellie. Rory is a wizard." She looked up into her sister-in-law's eyes and saw the disbelief there.

"Catherine," Sarah said, sitting back beside her on the couch. "Do you hear yourself? This is exactly what I was talking about. How can you sit here and say these things and not know why he took the children from you?"

"I can sit here and say these things because they're true," Catherine replied calmly. "And I can prove it to you. But before I do that, I need to ask you something. If Daniel was so concerned about the children and leaving them with me, why did he only take Ellie and Rory? Why did he leave Miranda with me?" Sarah looked at her, taken aback. She shook her head and rose warily from the couch.

"Catherine, I think you should go now," Sarah said and Catherine almost smiled in triumph.

"Why?" she asked instead.

"Catherine, you know very well that Daniel did not leave Miranda with you," Sarah said. "You know that he took all of them. He needed to keep them safe. You need help Catherine."

"You're right, I do need help," Catherine agreed. "But not in the way you think. Sarah have you actually seen the children?"

"Of course," Sarah replied. "It's been awhile, but I saw them shortly after Daniel left with them. He's asked me to wait to visit again until they get used to their new situation."

"You've seen Miranda?" Catherine asked. "Physically laid eyes on her?" Sarah opened her mouth to speak and then closed it, furrowing her brow.

"Well no, she was napping when I was there," Sarah admitted. "But I saw her things."

"Sarah, Daniel does not have Miranda," Catherine insisted, wishing now that she had brought the baby along. "She is at home with my mother. He may have bought clothes and toys for her to make it look as if she was there, but he does not have her. He left her with me. You can call my mother right now and ask her or better yet, ask your own."

"My mother?" Sarah asked, clearly confused.

"Your mother is well aware of the fact that Daniel only took Ellie and Rory," Catherine continued. "As a matter of fact, when I went to her house the night they disappeared, she told me to go home and tend to the one child I had left."

"No, no, this isn't, no," Sarah was shaking her head and Catherine knew she was going over everything, trying to make sense of it.

"So I come back to my original question," Catherine said. "If Daniel were so frightened for the children, why did he leave Miranda with me?"

"You can't have Miranda, I know you can't," Sarah insisted. "Daniel told me why he took them, why he has to stay in hiding."

"As I said, call my mother if you don't believe me," Catherine said. "But before you do, think about it. Has Daniel ever mentioned Miranda in all the time he's been gone? Has Ellie or Rory? I assume you've spoken to them, if you haven't seen them." Sarah nodded.

"I've spoken to them on the phone, but Daniel never put Miranda on," Sarah said. "But of course he wouldn't, she's just a baby, not talking yet."

"She's 20 months old, Sarah," Catherine reminded her. "She is talking. Not much, but she is talking. Mostly she calls for Ellie and Rory and then she cries when they don't come. She wanders the house looking for them, "Ewwie, Rowee' she says, looking under beds and in cupboards. She stands by the front window and watches the street, calling their names whenever a child comes by."

"Stop it, just stop," Sarah begged her, tears running down her cheeks. But Catherine wasn't finished.

"You see what's happened to me," Catherine continued, indicating herself. "My mum is much the same, although she hasn't lost quite as much weight as I have. We're both nearly ghosts. Miranda is the only thing that keeps us from turning into them completely. That, and the promise that I made to your mother that I would never stop looking for them."

"Catherine, please," Sarah pleaded.

"I know that you have a child of your own now," Catherine said, looking around the room and focusing in on a photograph on the mantel. She rose and walked toward it, picking it up. "A little boy I see." She smiled and ran a finger down the baby's cheek in the picture. "Imagine that Paul decided you weren't a fit mother. Imagine that he just picked up and left one day and took your child with him. Imagine that you searched everywhere you knew, that you spoke to everyone you could think of and still you had no idea where they'd gone." Catherine stared at the other woman and Sarah looked down at her lap. When she finally raised her head, her eyes were swollen with tears.

"Catherine, please, this doesn't make any sense," Sarah said. "I just, I don't know," she trailed off, biting her lip. She stood and walked into the kitchen and Catherine could hear the beeping of telephone buttons. She held her breath, wondering who Sarah was calling, ready to flee if it was the police.

"Hello, Mrs. Powell?" Sarah said and Catherine let out a sob, setting the photograph back on the mantel and bringing a hand to her mouth. "Yes, it's Sarah, Sarah Cooper, well, Brown now, but." Sarah paused and Catherine assumed that her mother had asked a question. "Yes she's here. That's what I wanted to talk to you about Mrs. Powell. You see, Catherine is insisting that Miranda is at home with you when I know for a fact that she's with her father and," Sarah broke off again. "Yes, yes I see, but," another pause. "Okay, thank you. No, no that won't be necessary. Yes, I understand. Yes, I'll tell her. Good-bye." Catherine heard the click of the phone as Sarah hung up and then waited until she reappeared in the room. Catherine looked at her expectantly and Sarah sank down onto the couch once more.

"Your mother wants you to call her," Sarah said and Catherine nodded. She waited with bated breath for the other woman to say something else. "I don't understand," Sarah said quietly and Catherine knew then that she believed her. About Miranda in any case.

"Sarah, I know this is hard to believe, but everything I've said to you is true," Catherine said sincerely. "I can prove that I'm a witch. Even Daniel believed it, although he didn't want to." Sarah looked up at her incredulously. "Yes, he believed it. He couldn't very well not after everything I showed him. And so does your mother." Catherine locked eyes with her sister-in-law. "I can show you too, if you'll let me." The two women stared at each other for a few moments and then they were interrupted by the wail of a baby. Sarah jumped up and Catherine smiled.

"I have to get him, I," she looked up at Catherine, wringing her hands. Catherine nodded. "Just, wait here." Sarah hurried from the room and up the stairs. Catherine heard the opening of a door and then the baby's cries cut off abruptly. After a few moments, Catherine heard footsteps on the stairs and Sarah reentered the room, the baby at her shoulder. The baby's small fists waved in the air and Catherine smiled.

"How old is he?" she asked.

"Just four weeks," Sarah replied, gripping the baby a bit tighter. He let out a noise of protest and she loosened her grip. "His name's Alexander. We call him Alex." Catherine walked around Sarah so she could get a better look at the baby.

"He's beautiful," she said, smiling at the small boy.

"Thank you," Sarah said. She moved back to the couch and sat down, rubbing her son's back. Catherine sat on a chair across from the couch.

"Sarah, I love my children, more than my own life," she said. "I need to get them back."

"Catherine, I don't know what to say," Sarah said quietly. "This all sounds so insane. You're talking about the children having magic as if it's as normal as them having teeth."

"That's because it is," she replied. "For them it is. It's just another part of them, as much as their hair color or their eye color. Let me show you, please." Sarah looked down at the baby and then back at Catherine warily. "It won't hurt him. It won't affect him at all, I swear it to you on my children's lives." Finally Sarah gave a short nod and Catherine smiled in response. "I'll be right back." She rose and went back to her car, retrieving her Hogwarts letter and her wand. When she came back into the house, Sarah was still sitting on the couch, feeding the baby a bottle now.

"This is a letter I received when I was 11," she began and proceeded to tell Sarah the same story she had told Daniel those months ago. Sarah had the same skeptical expression on her face at first, but when Catherine pulled out her wand and preformed the first spell, Sarah's eyes widened in shock. By the time Catherine had made the baby's toys float in the air above him, much to little Alex's delight, Sarah had a bit of a smile on her face. Catherine made the final toy land on the floor and looked back at her sister-in-law.

"I know that I should have told Daniel from the beginning, but I wasn't in a good place when you moved in," Catherine said. "It's something I'll always regret, although not completely because if I had told him then I wouldn't have the children. I know that now." She looked down at her hands and Sarah sighed.

"Catherine, he's my brother," Sarah said.

"I know that Sarah," Catherine replied. "And if there were any other choice, I wouldn't have come to you, but no one else can help me. Do you believe me at least?"

"After that display, I don't know how I couldn't," Sarah said, giving her a small smile. "Don't get me wrong, it's still very hard to wrap my mind around." Catherine nodded. "Are you sure, it's all the children?"

"Positive," Catherine said. "They've all had bouts of accidental magic over the years." At Sarah's confused expression, she explained what accidental magic was. "The thing is, Sarah, they can't control it, that's why it's called accidental. I don't know how Daniel is planning on trying to get rid of it, but whatever he tries can't be good."

"How can you be sure that's what he's going to try and do?" Sarah said. "Maybe he really didn't believe you when you told him and he did take them to try and protect them."

"Again, then why leave Miranda?" Catherine asked. "And he did believe me and your mother does as well."

"I find that extremely hard to believe," Sarah scoffed. "I can't imagine that he even told her. She would never believe it."

"According to your mother, he's going to try and get rid of their magic," Catherine said. "She told me that he would break them to make them normal." The tears returned to Catherine's eyes and she felt them run down her cheeks. "Sarah, no matter what he does, he's not going to be able to get rid of it. And they can't control it when they're small, no matter how much he thinks they can. I'm scared for them Sarah." She looked up pleadingly at her sister-in-law.

"He loves them, he would never hurt them," Sarah insisted.

"I know you think that he wouldn't, but I've seen Daniel when he's determined," Catherine said. "You know how he is when he thinks he's right and he thinks he's right about this. He thinks he can get rid of it, that it's some cancer he can just cut out. But he can't!" She put her face in her hands and sobbed for her children. She cried until she felt a hand on her back and when she looked up, she saw Sarah kneeling in front of her, Alex still in her arms. Sarah reached out and embraced Catherine and she returned the hug, careful not to squish the baby between them.

"I'll help you," Sarah said when she pulled back and Catherine began to sob anew.

* * *

**30 November 1988**

The next morning, Catherine again knocked on Sarah's front door. The two women had made plans into the night and when Catherine left to go the motel where she had taken a room, she felt lighter than she had in months. She had actually eaten breakfast for the first time since Daniel had taken the children. Sarah answered the door and ushered Catherine into the house.

"Before we go, we need to make you more presentable," she said. Catherine looked at her quizzically. "If your children see you like this, they may very well run away screaming." Catherine blushed.

"How I look hasn't really been at the top of my priority list," Catherine admitted.

"I know and I understand, but let's see what we can do, all right?" Sarah smiled at her and led her into the bedroom.

* * *

An hour later, the two women were in Sarah's car, driving toward the small town the Daniel had taken up residence in. Sarah had informed her that it was a few hours away. Neither spoke much. Sarah had tried to engage Catherine in small talk when they'd first left, but after a few one-word answers or no response at all, she had given up. They had stopped for a quick lunch at a small café halfway through their drive, although Catherine mostly just picked at hers. She spent most of her time staring unseeing out the window and wondering just what kind of scene she would walk in on when they arrived. Nora's words echoed in her mind, over and over like a broken record.

"_He'll stamp it out and get rid of it, mark my words. He'll break them and make them normal."_

Catherine shuddered at what Daniel might think he needed to do to break her children.

"We're almost there," Sarah finally said and Catherine sat up and looked out her window, noticing that the sky was beginning to darken slightly. "Catherine when we get there, I think you should stay in the car while I,"

"No!" Catherine exclaimed interrupting her sister-in-law.

"Catherine," Sarah began again, but Catherine shook her head violently.

"Listen to me, if he sees you, he won't let us in," Sarah continued. Catherine turned and looked her in the eye.

"I'll get us in," she said dangerously. Sarah glanced between the road and the woman in the seat next to her and gulped visibly. "In fact," Catherine continued. "I don't think we'll be knocking at all."

"Right, sorry," Sarah said quietly, looking back at the road in front of her.

They reached the street and Catherine had Sarah drive past the house and then go around the block. There was a small alley that separated the back gardens of the two blocks and Catherine pointed to it as they drove past. Sarah nodded and parked on the block behind. She and Catherine made their way back to the alley, walked quietly up the road to the back of Daniel's house.

All seemed quiet inside and Catherine motioned Sarah to stay behind her as they approached the house. She drew her wand and peeked into one of the windows which looked into the kitchen. She was met with silence and an empty room. There didn't seem to be any lights on in the house at all as Catherine peered in and she turned back to Sarah.

"I'm going to go look in the garage and see if his car is here," Catherine said quietly. "Stay here." Sarah nodded and remained in her position by the kitchen window. Catherine snuck around the side of the house and stopped in front of the side door into the garage. She tried the knob and it turned easily in her hand. Peeking inside, she saw that the garage was empty, save for two rubbish bins and a lawnmower. Sighing, she made her way back to the rear garden and told Sarah what she had found.

"Should we go back to the car and wait?" Sarah asked, but Catherine shook her head.

"No, let's go in," she said. "I want to surprise him." Sarah looked at her doubtfully for a moment, but nodded and Catherine pointed her wand at the back door. "Alohomora," she whispered and then heard the soft click of the lock as it opened. She walked into the house and Sarah followed, although the younger woman was outwardly nervous.

"Don't turn on any lights," Catherine warned and Sarah nodded. Catherine wandered into the lounge seeing a bin of toys in the corner and a few children's books on an end table. She left Sarah there and walked upstairs and found what was obviously Rory's room. Cars and dinosaurs littered the floor and his stuffed dino lay on the bed. Catherine ran a hand over its head, tears beginning to gather. She picked up the toy and held it to her chest, squeezing it and taking in her little boy's scent. She laid the dinosaur back down on the bed and went into the next room, Ellie's.

Drawings decorated the walls and as Catherine looked at them she realized that all of the pictures featured Daniel, Ellie and Rory, Catherine and Miranda nowhere to be found. Catherine's breath hitched and she sank down on the bed, putting a hand on the pillow which crinkled as she did so. Frowning, she picked the pillow up and looked inside the pillowcase. There were papers there, a bit crumpled as if Ellie had slept on them. Catherine pulled them out and saw that they were pictures of Ellie and Rory standing on one side of the paper with Catherine, Miranda and Jane on the other. In between the two groups of people was a wall as tall as the paper, covered in spikes and plants with teeth. When Catherine looked more closely at Rory and Ellie she saw that there were tears on their faces and Catherine broke down. She hugged the drawing to her chest and sobbed for her babies.

"Catherine?" she heard Sarah say from the doorway. Catherine could do nothing but hold the drawing out to Sarah. The other woman took it and gasped when she saw it. Catherine looked up at her and saw the anguish in Sarah's eyes.

"It was hidden," Catherine whispered. "In her pillowcase. Dear god, Sarah, what is he doing to them?" Sarah crossed the room and sat down next to Catherine, putting an arm around her.

"You don't know that he's doing anything," Sarah said, still trying to defend her brother.

"Sarah look at what she drew," Catherine protested. "It doesn't take a child specialist to figure out what that means." Sarah just shook her head and wandered to the window, looking out into the growing darkness. "I'm going to check Daniel's room," Catherine said. She got up and went down the hall to the remaining room. The door was locked which Catherine found odd, but a quick unlocking spell handled that.

She stepped inside and her mouth immediately dropped open. The desk inside was covered with books, the wall behind it plastered with charts and papers. More books cluttered the nightstand and there was another stack on the floor next to the bed. David had never been a reader, rarely reading anything besides the newspaper. Catherine stepped into the room and looked at the stack on the floor. A small desk lamp that had been left on just illuminated the titles. There were books about witchcraft, cults, aversion therapy, deprogramming and other psychological subjects. The nightstand and desk contained more of the same. The papers on the wall were articles from psychological journals and charts of rewards and reinforcements and their predicted outcome on behavior. There was a book open on the desk and Catherine looked down at the open page and began to read.

It was a description of a woman that had insisted she was from another planet and the aversion therapy that she had been forced to go through in order to try and change her mind. She suffered through a series of electric shocks that increased in intensity and duration until she was considered "cured". Catherine's hand went to her mouth as she read the horrible things that the woman had gone through. What on earth was he doing reading about something like this? A further perusal of the desk revealed a date book. Catherine flipped it open and saw a notation on 1 December. 10:00 – Dr. Taylor. Catherine frowned, knowing she'd read that name somewhere else. She looked back at one of the articles hanging on the wall and saw an experiment on aversion therapy conducted by a Dr. Taylor. She glanced back down at the book lying open on top of the desk. And then realization hit like a tidal wave.

"Oh sweet Merlin," Catherine gasped, sinking to her knees, wrapping her arms around her middle trying to staunch the urge to be sick. He was going to subject her children to this? She stood, looking wildly around the room and her eyes landed on the pictures in the book again. "Sarah," she called, but her voice came out in a whisper. "Sarah!" she cried again, this time her voice hysterical. She heard Sarah running down the hall and she came into the room. She looked around in shock, just as Catherine had when she had first entered.

"What on earth?" Sarah said, glancing down at the titles of the books on the nightstand and then looking at Catherine questioningly. Catherine picked up the open book on the desk and thrust it at Sarah. Sarah looked down and began to read, then her eyes flicked to the pictures on the next page and she gagged. She dropped the book on the floor and put a hand to her mouth. She looked up at Catherine, her eyes wide.

"He wouldn't," Sarah insisted. "He wouldn't do that."

"He's got a meeting tomorrow with a Dr. Taylor," Catherine said and pulling the journal article off the wall she showed it to Sarah. The other woman took it with shaking hands, but after reading it shook her head violently. "Sarah, look at this room," she gestured around herself. "Why else would he be meeting with that doctor?"

"Maybe he just has questions, maybe he didn't understand something he read," Sarah said.

"Why is he reading all of this in the first place?" Catherine demanded. "I told you what your mother said."

"No, no, I don't believe it, I won't," Sarah insisted, her voice shrill. Catherine opened her mouth to say something when they both froze at the slam of a car door. Catherine looked back to Sarah and motioned her out of the room. Catherine closed the door behind her and locked it once more, then they both made their way quickly downstairs, going into the lounge where they had a view of the front hall.

Catherine could hear voices outside and she whimpered when she heard a high-pitched child's voice. Sarah reached over and took her hand and Catherine took in a breath. There was a key in the lock and then the door opened and Catherine got the first glimpse of her children in three months. She wanted to drop to her knees and sob at the fact that they were still alive and intact, but she forced herself to remain standing, hardening her resolve as she thought about the library in Daniel's room.

"Come on you two, hurry up now," he said as he pushed the children through the doorway. Ellie was silent and Rory whimpered a bit as his father gave him a small shove. Catherine squeezed Sarah's hand again and watched as the children took off their coats. Ellie handed hers to her father and Rory did the same, but Catherine could see that something was off. Ellie's movements were mechanical, there was no emotion on her face and after she had handed her father her coat she stood stock still and stared straight ahead of her at nothing. Rory, on the other hand, fidgeted nervously and shied away when his father reached down to take his coat. It took every ounce of strength Catherine had not to run and grab them up in her arms. Once the coats were hung in the closet, Daniel turned to the children.

"Now, if you want dinner, I expect that the two of you will tell me what I want to hear," he said, hands on his hips. Both children nodded. "Well, get on with it then." Both children opened their mouths and began to recite, sounding like robots.

"Magic is bad. We are never to speak of it and if we ever do it, we will have to go away and live with the bad children." When they had finished, Daniel patted them both on the head and Rory flinched. Catherine glanced to Sarah who looked at her sorrowfully. Sarah turned and walked silently to the lamp on the nearby end table. Before she turned on the light, she motioned Catherine back into the shadows and Catherine complied, wondering just what the other woman was doing. Sarah turned on the lamp and then straightened as Daniel's head whipped around. Rory looked into the room as well, but Catherine noticed that Ellie continued to stare straight ahead into nothingness.

"Hello, Daniel," Sarah said quietly.

"Sarah?" Daniel asked. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I thought I'd come and see my nieces and nephew," Sarah replied calmly. "Where's Miranda?" Daniel startled for a moment, then narrowed his eyes.

"How did you get in here?" he asked, ignoring her question about Miranda. Catherine could hide no longer.

"That would be courtesy of me," she said, stepping forward into the light. She saw both her children startle and look up at her, but to her horror, Ellie immediately turned and grabbed her father around the waist, hiding her head in his side. Rory took a step forward, but when Daniel put a hand on his shoulder he whimpered and looked at the floor.

"What are you doing here Catherine?" he asked, venom in his voice.

"I've come to collect my children," she replied.

"They're not going anywhere with you," he spat.

"I beg to differ," Catherine said, her voice eerily calm.

"Ellie, do you have anything to say to your mother?" Daniel asked and Ellie shook her head still hidden in her father's side. "And why not?" Ellie muttered something and Daniel managed to pull back from her a bit while still holding on to Rory's shoulder. "What was that Ellie?" he asked.

"Mummy doesn't love us," Ellie mumbled and then turned and faced her mother and aunt. Catherine gasped at the look in her daughter's eyes because there was none. Her eyes were completely flat, dull and lifeless.

"And why do you think that Ellie?" Daniel asked, look of triumph in his eyes.

"She only loves Miranda because she thinks Miranda is a witch just like her," Ellie said, voice still a monotone.

"Who does love you?" Daniel asked, never looking at the girl.

"Just you and Grandmother and Grandfather and Aunt Sarah," Ellie recited dutifully.

"Well, we may have to reconsider your Aunt Sarah," Daniel said, shooting his sister an angry glare. Then he addressed Catherine.

"You can see that Ellie has been the perfect pupil. Rory is still working on it, but he'll get there, won't you mate?" Daniel asked, squeezing his son's shoulder.

"Yes, Father," the little boy said automatically. Catherine looked at Sarah who started. Father? Since when had Daniel wanted the children to call him Father? He'd always been Daddy.

"Ellie and Rory, your father is lying. I do love you, I love you so very much," Catherine's voice broke and Rory whimpered, but Ellie continued to just stare ahead with those dead eyes. "I miss the two of you desperately and so do Miranda and Grandma. I've come to take you home with me."

"They are home and they won't be going anywhere with you," Daniel retorted, his voice hard. "We don't believe your mother do we children?" Ellie shook her head, but Rory just stared, longing on his face. "I said, we don't believe your mother, do we?" Daniel repeated, squeezing Rory's shoulder again and the boy jumped under his father's hand.

"No sir," he whispered, tears forming in his eyes.

"Daniel, you've got to stop this," Sarah said, looking beseechingly at her brother. "You know she loves them, don't continue to punish the children this way." Daniel stared at his sister for a moment, then looked back at Catherine.

"The two of you need to leave my house," he said. "Or I'll call the police and have you arrested for trespassing."

"Daniel!" Sarah exclaimed, but Catherine just shook her head.

"You kidnapped my children, Daniel," she said. "I think that the police might want to arrest you just a bit more than they do me."

"They're my children," he insisted. "You can't kidnap your own children." Catherine shrugged a shoulder.

"I guess we'll just have to let the police decide that," she replied. Sarah looked between the two of them nervously.

"Daniel, let me take the children and give them something to eat," she finally said. "The two of you can talk and work this out."

"They're not going anywhere," Daniel replied, keeping a grip on both children.

"Daniel, I swear to you that I won't leave the house, we'll just be in the kitchen," Sarah said.

"Just as you swore to me that you wouldn't tell her where we were?" Daniel scoffed. "You'll understand if I don't believe you." Sarah looked at Catherine and then slowly approached her brother.

"Daniel, I love you, but you have to stop this," she said. "I know what she is Daniel, she showed me just as she did you. She told me Mother knows as well. You can't continue to deny what your children are." Daniel turned on her, teeth bared.

"I may not be able to deny it, but I can sure as hell get rid of it," he seethed, tightening his hold on the children so much that Rory cried out. Catherine started forward, but Sarah held up a hand to stop her.

"Daniel, please, if you ever loved her at all, if you love the children, please, stop this," Sarah said quietly, putting her hands on his and gently loosening his grip on Ellie and Rory. He let them go and Sarah reached down and took their hands and led them into the kitchen. Catherine wished she would just run out the back door with them and get as far away from here as possible, but Catherine knew she wouldn't. No, it would be up to her to settle this with Daniel, once and for all.

Catherine stood staring at Daniel for long moments after Sarah had left the room. She tried to find a shred of love or compassion or even fondness for the man in front of her and found that she couldn't. It was all gone, had all evaporated the day three months ago when he had walked out of her house and taken her children away from her. Still, she knew if she wanted to leave here with them she would have to be very careful in what she said. As she was trying to gather her thoughts to begin, Daniel opened his mouth.

"You look like absolute shit," he said and her head whipped up, eyes narrowing.

"Thanks to you," she spat and he shrugged, smirking a bit. Wanting nothing but to wipe the smirk from his face, Catherine's hand tightened around her wand in her pocket for a moment. Then she took a deep breath and relaxed her arm. It was what he wanted, she realized. He wanted her to react, to get angry, and then he would have the excuse he needed to keep the children with him.

"I am taking them home with me," she said instead, her voice steady, her face calm.

"Over my dead body," he replied and she shrugged.

"If that's what it takes," she said. They stared at each other, two opponents squaring off. "So have you seen any magic from either of them since they've been with you?" He startled and glared at her, his eyes narrowing.

"We don't use that word in this house," he said through gritted teeth. Catherine sighed.

"Well it's a good thing I don't live here then because I use it quite a lot," she said. "I saw your research materials in the bedroom." He looked at her defiantly. "Including your doctor's appointment tomorrow." She paused and took a deep breath, locking eyes with him. "Please tell me you weren't going to subject our children to that, because the Daniel I knew, the father I knew he was, would be appalled at even the suggestion of causing his children pain." Catherine was pleased to see him falter just a bit in his self-assured stance. She forged ahead.

"The Daniel I knew would have sacrificed himself before he allowed his children to suffer even an ounce of pain. The Daniel I knew would have done everything in his power to protect them. The Daniel I knew loved them more than anything else on this earth." She paused and watched as a myriad of emotions crossed his face. "The Daniel I knew would have never stolen them away from their home in the dead of night and told them such lies." She stared at him and saw the faintest crack in his rigid posture, the smallest hint of brightness in his eyes.

"What happened to you Daniel?" she asked quietly. "Is the thought of your children being different from what you consider 'normal' so abhorrent to you that you would stoop to such measures to try and change them? Because I'm telling you right now, no matter what you do, what horrific therapies you use, you will not be able to 'stamp it out of them' as your mother so eloquently put it. It is a part of them, you cannot change it."

"You're wrong," he hissed. "I_ can_ change it."

"No, you can't," she insisted, her voice rising. "There is absolutely nothing you can do about it. They can choose not to use their magic when they are old enough to make that decision, but you cannot make that decision for them. And the magic will still be there, whether they use it or not."

"No," he said, shaking his head and beginning to pace around the room.

"What is this about Daniel?" she asked. "Why are you so insistent that you get rid of their magic? Is your mother driving all of this?" He looked up at that for a moment, but then looked away and continued to pace. "That's it isn't it? She's the one that's convinced you to do this."

"No, she's not, she," he broke off shaking his head. "I agreed with her, I wanted to."

"I don't think you did," Catherine said quietly, taking a step closer to him. "I think falling in love with me was the first decision you ever made that went against what she wanted. I think she's been trying to get rid of me ever since. And when all of this happened, she thought she'd finally found the perfect reason. When you left me that night, you went to her, didn't you?"

Everything suddenly made sense now. Daniel's entire plan had been driven by his mother. The breaking off of all contact, the lawsuit and then the loss of the financial support, everything had been her idea. Catherine even wondered if it had been her idea for Daniel to try and win her back, although she doubted it. Nora didn't have a romantic bone in her body. While Catherine had quickly given up hope of any kind of reconciliation between she and Daniel, while she was never surprised that he wanted nothing more to do with her, it had never made sense that he would completely cut himself off from his children. He loved them too much to allow that to happen. But now, it all made sense. Nora had just been using them as some kind of pawns in her own sick game to control her son.

Daniel had stopped pacing and was looking at her now. Catherine met his gaze and held it, searching his eyes for an answer. And when she saw the tiniest bit of shame, she knew she'd found it.

"You've got to stop letting her control you Daniel," Catherine urged, pleading with him to remember how he really felt. "These are your children, you love them, no matter who they are or what they can or can't do. It doesn't matter if they have magic, they're still yours. Please, just love them like I know that you can, like I know you do. Don't hurt them like this."

She had taken a step towards him while she spoke and she was now standing right in front of him. He looked down into her eyes and she into his. A part of her ached to reach out and take his hand, to let him know that no matter what had happened between the two of them, she had loved him once and they had made three beautiful children together, who still needed them, needed both of them, but not on his terms. He reached his hand up and touched her cheek and Catherine forced herself to remain still. She would do whatever she had to, in order to bring him back to himself. She held her breath as he bent his head toward hers and as much as she wanted to push him away, she let him brush her lips with his.

He pulled back from her and stared into her eyes for what seemed like an eternity. And as he leaned in again, Catherine knew she wouldn't be able to do it, wouldn't be able to let him touch her again. She flinched almost imperceptibly, but it made him pause and as she watched, the look in his eyes changed and she gasped as he moved his hand from her cheek and wrapped it around her throat.

"You think you can just waltz in here and throw a few platitudes my way and expect that I'm going to change my mind," he hissed in her ear as his hand slowly tightened around her throat. He had backed her up so she was now pressed against the wall. "Those children are _mine_, they belong to _me_ and they will act accordingly. You should be happy that I left you with one." He squeezed tighter and Catherine began to scrabble at his hand with hers. "You will not take them away from me, do you understand?" He pulled her forward a bit and then shoved her back again, making her hit her head against the wall. That, combined with her increasing lack of oxygen, made her see stars. She held onto consciousness by the slimmest of margins as Daniel squeezed tighter. The look in his eyes was wild and crazed and Catherine knew in that moment that there was something broken inside of him, that maybe there always had been. This was not the man she had once loved.

One of her hands was on his, trying to break his grip, while the other pushed at her pocket, trying to get hold of her wand. He saw her movements, however, and ripped her wand from her pocket with his free hand, throwing it across the room, an evil grin on his face. Just as the edges of Catherine's vision began to go black she heard someone come into the room.

"Daniel!" Sarah screamed. "What are you doing? Stop!" Sarah rushed to the two of them and tried to pull Daniel away from Catherine, but her strength was no match for his and he batted her away as if she were nothing more than a meddlesome fly. Catherine grabbed at his hand one last time and just before her vision darkened completely, there was a scream and a bright light and then all was black.


	24. Recovery and Revelations

**A/N - Merry Christmas to all who celebrate! To those that don't, Happy Tuesday! Those of you celebrating, I hope you've had a wonderful holiday and got everything you were wishing for. Mine was wonderful. :) Here is one more gift and I hope that you like it. As promised last chapter, Catherine finally finds out what happened to Sirius. See you all on Friday! **

**Chapter 24**

**Recovery and Revelations**

**30 November 1988**

When she became aware, Catherine felt herself gulping in huge breaths of air. She felt a hand on her cheek and heard a whimper beside her. She forced her eyes open and saw Rory kneeling on the floor next to her, tears running down his cheeks. Catherine couldn't speak, but held out her arms and after a few moments hesitation, Rory flung himself into them. And then she was rocking him and kissing his head, whispering that she loved him in his ear and they were both sobbing.

**29 July 1993**

Catherine shuddered as she came back to the present, aware that tears were pouring down her face. She looked down at her lap and saw that she must have been crying for some time because there was a large wet spot there. She looked up at Remus and saw his own tears making their way down his cheeks. She shook her head and raised a hand to his face, wiping the tears away on one of his cheeks. He covered her hand with his and then pulled her to him, hugging her tightly. She sighed and rested her cheek on his shoulder for a few minutes until she pulled away.

"It was you then, your magic that forced him from you?" Remus asked and Catherine shook her head sadly. "Rory?"

"It was Ellie," Catherine said quietly.

"Ellie?" Remus said, clearly surprised.

"Yes, Sarah saw it," Catherine continued. "Just before I passed out, Rory came into the room. He was the one that screamed. But he was running towards us when the light came. Sarah looked up just as Ellie came into the doorway and she said the light seemed to just flow out of her and then Daniel flew across the room. After it happened, Ellie collapsed. I didn't notice right away since my hands were full with Rory, but Sarah called for me shortly after. I don't know if she exhausted herself or she was just shocked by what she'd done, but she slept for a good few hours."

"And what of Daniel?" Remus asked.

"He was fine, just knocked out," Catherine said sighing. "Sarah and I bundled up the children and she took them to a nearby hotel. I stayed with Daniel and waited for him to wake up."

"You what!?" Remus exclaimed. "He had just tried to kill you Catherine, what were you thinking?" Catherine rolled her eyes.

"I had my wand and I kept it pointed at him," she said. "He wouldn't have been able to surprise me again."

"Still, that was incredibly stupid!" Remus said, standing and pacing around the room, running a hand through his hair. He started muttering under his breath and Catherine got a mental image of another Marauder doing much the same thing all those years ago. She took in a breath, forcing her thoughts away from Sirius and back to the present.

"It may have been, but I wanted the children out of the house and they couldn't stay at a hotel on their own. Sarah could have never held her own against Daniel and this was my fight, not hers," Catherine replied. "And obviously it turned out fine because I'm still sitting here," she said dryly and he glanced sharply at her.

"That's not the point," Remus protested but she shook her head. "You should have called the police."

"Remus, please, do you want to hear the rest of this or not?"

"Fine," he said, plopping back onto the couch and crossing his arms. Catherine rolled her eyes again as he gestured for her to continue.

"When Daniel woke up, he was furious as I'm sure you can imagine," Catherine began. "Still, when he realized I was holding him at wand-point he calmed down. I told him that the children were gone and that I was taking them home with me. He protested of course, loudly, but when I reminded him that he had just tried to kill me, in front of witnesses, he shut up. No matter how much Sarah loved him, I think he knew that she would never keep something like that quiet."

"I should certainly hope not," Remus huffed and Catherine smirked.

"So we made a deal," Catherine continued. "I told him that as long as he let me take the children home with me and didn't interfere in our lives again, that I would keep quiet about what happened."

"You didn't," Remus said, incredulous.

"I did," Catherine returned, looking at him calmly.

"Catherine, he tried to kill you!" Remus almost shouted and Catherine shushed him. He pulled out his wand and threw up a silencing spell on the room.

"Think about it Remus," Catherine said, trying to calm him. "How was I going to explain how he ended up across the room and knocked out?"

"Self-defense," Remus said.

"Maybe, but this way, I could get him to agree to stay away from us and I didn't have to put the children through anymore trauma. They were witnesses too," she pointed out. "And it would have involved trying to get the children to tell a different story. To make me the one that had pushed Daniel away from me. I couldn't do that to them, not after everything they had been through. Plus, there was never any guarantee that he wouldn't have turned it around on me. He could have easily brought up the fact that I thought we were all magical and I would have been the one locked up, not him." She shook her head.

"All right, I guess I see your point where the children were concerned," Remus reluctantly agreed.

"So I told him that he was to have no further contact with the children and neither could his mother. At first he was angry, but then he broke down. I was surprised at first, but I knew that something had gone wrong with him, that something had changed inside him. I don't know if it was his mother or something else, but he needed help. So I told him that if he got help, that if he could accept the children and me for what we were, then I would consider letting him see them again," Catherine finished. Remus looked at her unbelievingly.

"How could you agree to that?" he asked and Catherine shrugged.

"He was still their father Remus and if he wanted to change, if he really and truly would have changed, then I would have considered it," she said. "But he didn't. He just laughed and told me that hell would freeze over before he would change his mind about magic." She stood and walked to the window, crossing her arms and looking out into the night. "So I told him that if I ever saw him near our house again, I would call the police. He told me that I'd never get a dime from him and I just shrugged and said I didn't care. I served him with divorce papers the next week and he signed them. I saw him in court a month later and he made it more than clear that it was the last time I'd ever see him again. I told him it was no great loss." She turned and smirked at Remus and he chuckled. "And then we all moved on."

"It was hard for them at first. Rory was skittish, shied away from anyone touching him. Daniel had never outright beaten him, but he'd been very, firm, shall we say, and Rory was never used to anyone touching him in a less than loving way. He had nightmares every night for a few months, but he bounced back quicker than Ellie did." Catherine sighed and looked back out the window. "She didn't talk at all for two weeks. She would do what we asked, come to the dinner table or wash her hands, get dressed, take a bath, things like that. But she wouldn't answer our questions, wouldn't talk to any of us, not even Rory. We found out the bulk of what happened through Rory." Catherine hitched in a breath.

"Daniel told them that I'd wanted him to take them, that I didn't want them any longer because I thought only Miranda had magic. He told them over and over that I didn't love them anymore, that my mother didn't love them anymore. He would even pretend to call me and beg me to talk to the children, but then he would tell them that I had refused. Pretty soon they started to believe him. Once they did, he started with the 'magic is evil' bit." She shuddered, tears sliding down her cheeks once more.

"That dead look never left Ellie's eyes until one day when she was sitting on the couch and Miranda came and climbed up onto her lap. She put her little hand on Ellie's cheek and said, 'Manda wub Eh-wie' and then she snuggled into her. Ellie sat there for a minute and then she wrapped her arms around her sister and laid her cheek on top of her head. 'I love you too Manda,' she said and I had to leave the room, I was crying so hard." She wiped away a stray tear and then told Remus how Ellie had suffered from nightmares, but pushed her away every time she tried to comfort her.

"It was a long road, for both of them. It took months of reassurance from us that they were loved and that Daniel wasn't going to take them again. And even then, Rory would still ask me all the time if I loved him. And Ellie, she wanted nothing to do with me for a very long time. If it hadn't been for my mother I don't think that she would have made it back to us," Catherine almost whispered. Remus rose and went to her, putting his hands on her shoulders.

"I'm sure you would have gotten through to her eventually," he said. She smiled sadly and shook her head.

"I'm not so sure about that and I just thank Merlin that I didn't have to find out. And there are still days when I see hints of that scorn for magic, days when I think she still misses her father. The day she got her letter, actually." Catherine proceeded to tell Remus what had happened that day. "I thought I saw a bit of it the day we went to Diagon Alley too. She just wasn't herself at first, but she seemed to come round as the day went on." She sighed and leaned back against Remus a bit.

"Did you ever hear from Daniel again?" he asked and Catherine shook her head.

"I speak to Sarah occasionally, but I've only seen her once or twice since," Catherine replied. "She had another baby, a girl, and she seems happy. Last I heard, Daniel was in the States, but apparently he's something of a mess. He's had trouble keeping a job, has been arrested once or twice, but of course his mother always manages to save him from jail. He drinks quite heavily I guess. It's still painful for Sarah, I think, knowing how he's turned out and as much as I've told her it's not her fault, she still blames herself for blindly believing him and not helping me sooner. She no longer speaks to her mother because of her part in everything that happened. She's told me that her father is rarely home, he travels as much as he can. I'm not sure why he just doesn't divorce her mother," Catherine shrugged.

"So now you know what a mess we are," she said smiling sadly. Remus shook his head and moved to stand beside her, taking her hand and squeezing it. They both looked out the window into the garden. "What about you?"

"No less of a mess, I'm sure," he said smirking and she chuckled.

"Whatever happened to Mary?" Catherine asked. Remus smiled fondly and shook his head a bit.

"We lost touch," he replied and Catherine waited. "Her mother died shortly after Christmas of, well, that year, in a car accident. Her father was offered a job transfer to the States shortly after and he decided to take it. Too many memories for him here, I suppose. Mary was going to stay here, but right before they were to move, her younger brother displayed accidental magic. He was only four. None of her other siblings were magical and with her mother's death, the move and her father's new job, she just felt like she needed to be there for him. So she went to the States."

"I'm sorry Remus," Catherine said, putting a hand on his arm. Remus shrugged.

"I think she was a bit glad actually," Remus replied. "You know that I'd told her by then, about my lycanthropy. She didn't run away screaming," he smirked at Catherine. "But I don't know if she was ever fully comfortable with it. And you know that Mulciber had it out for her a bit at school. I think getting away from everything was somewhat of a relief. We kept in touch for a while, but eventually, the letters just stopped coming."

"And there's been no one else?" Catherine asked. Remus just shook his head.

"No one of importance," he said quietly. They stood in silence for a few minutes until Catherine gathered her courage enough to ask the question she had been avoiding since she had run into Remus in the Leaky Cauldron the day before.

"Where is he Remus?" she asked quietly. Remus looked up sharply at her. "What?" she said in confusion.

"I thought you said you knew what happened," Remus replied.

"Sorry?" Catherine said.

"When I brought up James and Lily, you said you knew what happened," he said again.

"I know what happened to James and Lily, but what's that got to do with Sirius?" she asked, then gasped. "Oh god, he's not," a hand flew to her mouth and her eyes widened. The article in the Prophet hadn't said anything about Sirius being killed, but James was his best mate. It would make sense if he had been there, especially on Halloween.

Remus sighed and scrubbed a hand down his face, finally understanding that she knew the beginning of the story, but not the end. Catherine swallowed over a lump in her throat, her eyes begging him to tell her she was wrong.

"No, it's not that Catherine, it's nothing like that," he said quietly, not looking at her. He heard her release a breath. He turned to her and took her hands in his. "Catherine, Sirius is in Azkaban." She stared at him, her eyes wide, for several seconds.

"A-Azkaban?" she asked and he nodded. "But, but, why?" He sighed and gestured to the couch. She moved towards it in a haze, not understanding exactly what was happening. They both sat down and she looked to Remus.

"Things got much worse after Christmas of '78," he said. "James had asked Lily to marry him at Christmas and they decided to do it as soon as possible. All the things we were doing for Dumbledore and James training to be an Auror, you just never knew." Catherine nodded. "So they got married that spring."

"When Lily found out she was pregnant with Harry, she was terrified. It's just, things were so horribly uncertain and people we knew were dying all the time. I know that Sirius never really told you what we were doing for Dumbledore, but we belonged to a group called the Order of the Phoenix. The Ministry was fighting against Voldemort and his Death Eaters, but they were never aggressive enough, always bound by procedure and rules. The Order had no such limitations and with Dumbledore as its head, well." Remus shrugged and Catherine understood exactly what he meant.

"By the beginning of 1980, the Order was taking hit after hit and we didn't seem to be taking out as many Death Eaters in return." Remus looked off into the distance, as if reliving those horrible days and Catherine shivered. "Albus was afraid that the werewolves would join Voldemort, so he asked me to approach some of the packs and try and convince them to fight on the side of the Light." Catherine gasped and brought a hand to her mouth. Remus looked down at his lap.

"I couldn't tell anyone, James and Sirius would have tried to prevent me from doing it," Remus said quietly. "They never wanted me to think as myself as a werewolf." He smiled ruefully. "My missions kept me away from home and the Order more and more. I was there when Harry was born and for a few days afterward before I left again. Shortly thereafter, the Order began to suspect that we had a spy amongst us. Because I was gone so much and I wouldn't tell my friends what I was doing, I think that they began to suspect that perhaps I was the spy."

"What?" Catherine exclaimed. "How could they think that about you?" Remus just shook his head.

"It seemed that Voldemort had decided to focus on Lily and James for some reason and most of the information that was leaked was about them and their movements. They were almost caught or killed by Voldemort himself, three separate times, and every time they were on an Order mission."

"Sirius became very suspicious and even though he tried to hide it when I was around, I could tell that James was starting to feel the same. I don't think that he really wanted to believe it, but," he trailed off for a moment. "I saw all of them less and less and as a result, became more and more immersed in the werewolf culture." He couldn't meet Catherine's eyes, even when she reached out and took his hand.

"In October of 1981, Albus finally convinced James and Lily that they needed to go into hiding. He suggested the Fidelius Charm." At Catherine's confused expression, he explained. "James and Lily needed a secret-keeper and that person would control the information about where they were living. The secret-keeper was the only one who could divulge the information and he had to tell someone else directly. Even if the secret-keeper told you the secret, you would be unable to tell anyone else, unless the secret-keeper died. They chose Sirius as their secret-keeper. A week later, Voldemort showed up in Godric's Hollow and killed James and Lily and tried to kill Harry." He paused and looked at Catherine. She sat staring at him with her mouth agape as the information he had just revealed tried to order itself in her brain.

"No," she whispered. "No, Remus, no. He couldn't, he wouldn't. No!" she yelled and Remus once again threw up the silencing spell around the room. He took her hands again and forced her to look at him.

"Yes, it turns out that Sirius was the spy. I know you don't want to believe it Catherine, I didn't want to either, but Voldemort could not have found them if Sirius hadn't revealed their location," Remus said.

"Maybe the charm wasn't done correctly," she said and Remus shook his head.

"Lily was an expert in Charms, almost as good as Dumbledore. Something this important, there is no way she did the charm wrong."

"Well then they tortured it out of him or forced him somehow. The Imperius or Veritaserum, or," Remus squeezed her hands, cutting her off.

"There's more, Catherine," he said and she made a strangled noise.

"More, how could there possibly be more?" she choked out.

"The day after James and Lily were killed, Peter apparently went after Sirius," Remus began, his voice growing ever softer, but harder as well. "He tracked Sirius down and confronted him. He asked him how he could have betrayed James and Lily like that and then Sirius blew up the street." Catherine began to shake her head and rock back and forth. "He killed Peter and twelve muggles. And then, then he stood there and he laughed. He laughed until the Aurors arrived and took him into custody. They sent him to Azkaban and he's been there ever since."

While Remus had been finishing the story, Catherine had begun to chant 'no, no, no' under her breath. When Remus stopped talking, she looked up at him, tears running down her face, still shaking her head. He reached for her, but she stood abruptly, hugging herself around the middle.

"No, Remus, no," she whispered.

"I'm sorry," he said sadly.

"No, I don't believe it, I won't," she insisted. "Sirius loved James like a brother, he wouldn't betray them, he wouldn't. And Harry, Harry was just a baby, Sirius would never," she broke off shaking her head. "And he would never kill all those innocent people. You know that Remus!"

"War changes people, Catherine," Remus said, his eyes holding a world of sadness. "We do things that we never could have imagined ourselves doing."

"That's not the same and you know it!" Catherine exploded. "Sirius hated everything having to do with Voldemort and the Death Eaters, he hated the way he was raised, hated his parents' beliefs. He would not switch sides, he wouldn't!" Remus sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"Catherine," he said, meeting her gaze. "Would you ever have thought that Daniel would have done the things to your children that he did? When you married him, would you ever have thought that one day he would try to kill you?" Catherine opened her mouth and then closed it again. She stared at Remus and then she crumpled to the floor, her head in her hands. She cried, great heaving sobs, and Remus could only wrap his arms around her and hold her as she wept. "I'm sorry," he whispered into her ear.

After she had finally quieted, Remus managed to tug her to her feet and lead her back to the couch. They sat in silence, his arms around her waist, her head lying against his chest.

"I didn't want to believe it either," he eventually said. "I thought there had to be some mistake, something that we didn't know. But when they sent him to Azkaban without a trial, I," but Catherine interrupted before he could continue.

"He didn't get a trial?" she asked incredulous, sitting up quickly. "But then how can you know for sure it was him?"

"Catherine, they were under the Fidelius," Remus said again, somewhat impatiently. "Dumbledore offered to be their secret-keeper, but James refused saying they had chosen Sirius, that there was no one they trusted more. There is no one else that could have betrayed them. And there were plenty of witnesses to Sirius blowing up the street. I know that you don't want to believe it, that you will clutch at any shred of anything, no matter how small, to try and convince yourself that it wasn't him. I did the same thing afterwards. But there's just no other explanation."

"Yes there is, there's got to be," Catherine insisted, her voice hard. "Because the Sirius Black that I knew would have never betrayed his friends. He would have never have condoned the killing of a helpless baby and he would NEVER have gone over to the Dark. He. Would. Not. Do. It."

"Catherine," Remus began, but Catherine shook her head.

"No, Remus," she nearly spat. "I can't believe you would accept this. You were his friend!"

"Yes, I was," he retorted, his voice just as hard. "And in two days I lost everyone I cared about. Everyone! James and Lily and Peter died and Sirius was responsible. Sirius! And Harry, sweet little Harry was sent to live with Lily's muggle sister. Her sister that hated magic! And I couldn't do anything but stand by and watch because they would never give a child to a werewolf. Sirius betrayed us all and you, of all people, should understand how someone who you thought was one person could turn out to be someone completely different!"

"There is one small difference Remus," Catherine said, her voice deadly quiet. "I always knew there was a darker side to Daniel. I might not have thought that he would turn it on us, but it was there. Sirius never had that."

"You think so do you?" Remus asked, his eyes glittering with anger. "Then why, at the beginning of our sixth year, did Sirius tell Snape how to get past the Whomping Willow and into the Shrieking Shack? And why did he send him there on the night of the full moon?" Catherine had brought her hand to her mouth while Remus spoke, her eyes wide. "And why, when James saved Snape and then asked Sirius what the hell he was thinking did Sirius just shrug his shoulders and say, 'It was only Snivellus.'? You always wondered why we were angry with Sirius, why we'd had a falling out that year. That's what he did, Catherine. Still think there wasn't a dark side to him?"

Remus turned and stalked out of the room, leaving Catherine sitting on the couch in shock. She knew from what Sirius had told her that he had done something completely stupid and dangerous, but she never imagined it had been something as bad as that. What _had_ he been thinking? The short answer was that he hadn't because Sirius was impulsive and irresponsible. He didn't think sometimes, just reacted. And sending Snape to the Shrieking Shack had obviously been one of them.

Catherine propped her elbows on her knees and put her face in her hands. Regardless of what Remus had told her, that still didn't change her mind about Sirius' guilt. Sirius could react to situations and make stupid choices, yes. But the betrayal of Lily and James took planning. He would have had to been deceiving them for months, maybe years. It took cunning and manipulation and that just wasn't something Sirius did. Sirius reacted, he didn't plan. He jumped in with both feet before he had even looked at the consequences. It was something that he got reprimanded for in Auror training all the time. She couldn't believe that he could not only plan something like this, but be able to deceive everyone for as long as he did. It just didn't make sense.

Her mind returned unbidden to what Sirius had said that day in the park, that there was someone else. Her mind whispered that he _was_ capable of lying and planning and deceiving. But she didn't really think she believed that either, not even all these years later. Remus had tried to tell her something about Sirius when she had begun her tale talking about what had happened after that day in the park. But Catherine hadn't let him interrupt. She wondered now just what he had intended to say, but then decided that she wasn't really sure it mattered anymore.

Remus still hadn't returned to the room. Catherine didn't think he'd left, she hadn't heard the front door open in any case. She still couldn't believe that he would think Sirius capable of such a betrayal. She wanted to shake him and scream at him until he admitted that she was right. But then she thought of how alone he had been all these years. In 24 hours, he'd lost everyone he'd ever loved and Catherine didn't know just how he had continued on after that. No matter what had happened to her, how many times she'd been hurt, there had always been someone there that had kept her going - Sirius after she'd been forced to leave Hogwarts, her mother and then Daniel after Sirius had left her and the children and her mother after everything that had happened with Daniel. But Remus, Remus had had no one except casual friends or acquaintances. What had kept him going?

She stood then and walked into the kitchen. Remus was sitting at the table, a rather dusty bottle of scotch next to him. He swirled the liquid in the glass in front of him as she walked into the room.

"Where did you find that?" she asked, pointing to the scotch bottle. He reddened and kept his eyes on the table.

"Raided your cupboards, I'm afraid," he replied. "Didn't think it wise to try and summon the bottle of Ogden's I have in my cottage." She snorted in laughter and he looked up at her sheepishly.

"I'm sorry," the both said at the same time and Catherine laughed aloud this time. He indicated the bottle with his eyebrows and Catherine shrugged.

"Why not?" she said, sitting down beside him. He flicked his wand at the cupboard behind him and a glass flew out and settled itself on the table. He poured her a glass and slid it over to her. She picked it up and he did the same and they clinked their glasses and then both threw them back at the same time. Catherine coughed a bit and grimaced as the alcohol burned her throat, Remus just sat calmly and watched her.

"How can you stand that?" she asked, grimacing again.

"Doesn't have quite the same bite as Firewhiskey, but it'll do," he replied and she rolled her eyes at him.

"I am sorry," she said, idly playing with her glass. "I wasn't thinking of how horrible it must have been for you. After." He sighed and scrubbed a hand down his face.

"I almost gave up quite a few times," he admitted. "The transformations those few months afterward," he broke off, shaking his head. "The wolf knew," he continued quietly. "Knew he had lost his pack and he punished me for it." Catherine reached across the table and took his hand.

"If it hadn't been for Albus and Poppy I wouldn't be here," he said. "Dumbledore came to the cottage the morning after the first full moon I was alone. I was still in the cellar, hadn't healed any of my wounds, thought I'd just let myself bleed to death. It wouldn't have taken too long either, the wolf was particularly fierce that month." Catherine sucked in a breath. "Albus wouldn't let me though. He called for Poppy and the two of them fixed me up and then Poppy came every month after that until she decided I had given up on killing myself."

"By that time I remembered that I still had Harry to live for. I might not be able to see him or care for him, but someday, he would be back in the magical world and I wanted to be there to tell him about his parents," Remus said.

"Couldn't you visit him?" Catherine asked, confused. Remus shook his head. "Why on earth not?" she demanded.

"Dumbledore wouldn't tell anyone where he was," Remus replied. "I knew he was with Lily's sister, but I didn't know where she lived or even what her married name was."

"That doesn't make any sense," Catherine protested.

"At the time, there were still Death Eaters everywhere, even though Voldemort was gone," Remus explained. "In December, Frank and Alice Longbottom were tortured into insanity by Bellatrix LeStrange and the LeStrange brothers and Barty Crouch Jr." Catherine gasped. She hadn't known the Longbottoms personally, they were sixth years when she'd started at Hogwarts, but Sirius always had nothing but praise for them as Aurors. "They thought the Longbottoms knew what had happened to Voldemort," Remus continued. "They had a son, the same age as Harry, born the day before him actually. He's being raised by Frank's mother."

"Wait a minute, what do you mean they wanted to know what happened to Voldemort? Catherine said, her brow furrowing. "I thought Harry destroyed him?" Remus sighed.

"Apparently, they didn't think he was dead. Dumbledore never thought that he was gone either," Remus admitted. "Things have happened in the last couple of years at the school that have led Dumbledore to believe that Voldemort was just forced from his body, but not actually killed."

"I don't understand," Catherine said, shaking her head.

"Nor do I, but Voldemort was deeply into the darkest of magics," Remus answered. "If anyone could escape death, it would him." Catherine had unconsciously wrapped her arms around herself and now she shivered. Perhaps she shouldn't have been so insistent upon sending her daughter to Hogwarts.

The two sat in silence, Remus sipping at his scotch and Catherine playing with her glass. Her thoughts turned back to their earlier conversation and she sighed. Remus looked up at her, raising his eyebrows in question.

"I was just thinking about earlier," she said and he nodded. "I'm not sure why I'm defending him so vehemently. He didn't leave me in a very good place after all."

"Catherine," Remus began, but she held up a hand to forestall him.

"And you're right, I don't know how the war changed him, or any of you really," she confessed. "I suppose I'm just trying to hold on to who I knew he was out of defense for myself. It's awfully hard to admit that you were taken in by not one, but two men that you loved." She looked up at Remus ruefully and he pulled his chair close to hers. He took hold of her upper arms and forced her to meet his gaze.

"Now you listen to me," he said, his voice quiet, but his tone fierce. "You were not taken in by Sirius. When the two of you were together, he _was_ the man that you thought he was. You helped make him into the man he was. Whatever happened after, none of that was because of you. As to Daniel, he made his own choices and whether you were taken in by him or not, none of them are your fault." Catherine gave him a half-smile, then dropped her eyes to her lap.

"As a matter of fact, Sirius," Remus trailed off and shook his head, letting go of her arms at the same time.

"Sirius what?" Catherine asked, wondering what Remus had been about to say.

"It doesn't matter," he said, waving a hand. "It's not important." Catherine's brow furrowed as she watched Remus. She got the feeling he was hiding something, but she couldn't imagine what it was. Deciding to let it go for now, she propped an elbow on the table, putting her chin in her hand.

"Do you ever wonder if we're cursed or something?" she asked.

"What are you on about?" he returned. She looked at him and she shrugged.

"Neither of us has seemed to have any luck in the love department," she responded, leaning into him as he still sat right next to her.

"I don't know, maybe," he said. "Although in my case it's more self-imposed."

"Why is that?" she asked, sitting up a bit and looking at him.

"It's just easier this way," he said, going for unaffected and failing miserably.

"I don't believe that for one second and I don't think you do either," Catherine insisted.

"Maybe not," Remus replied. "Maybe I'm just a coward." Catherine sat up a bit then and put a hand to his cheek.

"You are the furthest thing from a coward," she admonished, looking into his eyes. He smiled sadly at her for a moment and then his face turned serious. He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"And you were always the one to see the very best in everyone, no matter how little they deserved it," he said. He brought a hand to her cheek, caressing it with the back of his hand. She closed her eyes and leaned into the touch, breath catching at the tenderness of it. It had been so long since anyone had touched her like this.

When she opened her eyes, Remus was studying her. His hand had not left her cheek, cupping it now. She stared at him for the longest moment and then turned her head away, pulling back from him at the same time.

"I'm sorry," he said, his face reddening a bit.

"No, no," she said, feeling her own face heat. "It's just, I don't, that is," she trailed off, twining a lock of her hair around her finger. He looked at her and chuckled, reaching up and disentangling her fingers from her hair.

"It's fine," he said, smiling at her.

"I just don't want to do anything that we'd regret later," she told him. "I've just found you again and I don't want to lose your friendship."

"Well, I really don't think I'd regret it," he replied, smiling wickedly and she laughed. "But I agree with you."

"I suppose we both would be trying to feel closer to those that we've lost," she said quietly looking down at her lap.

"I suppose you're right," he agreed. She looked up at him and smiled, a smile he returned. She began to giggle and soon they were both laughing loudly. And then she was trying to shush him and herself before they woke the children and her mother. When they had finally gotten hold of themselves, Remus looked at the clock on the wall.

"Merlin's beard, it's after one in the morning," he exclaimed. "I'd better be going." Catherine nodded and stood, taking his hand and leading him to the door.

"Come back," she insisted and he brought a finger to her cheek, tapping it lightly.

"You know I will," he assured her.

"And you're sure you're not upset about before?" she asked, still worried that she would lose the friend she had finally found once more.

"I promise you I'm not," he replied. She simply nodded and he gathered her into his arms, hugging her tightly. "I know you still love him," he whispered and her breath caught again as she tightened her grip around his waist for a moment.

"Doesn't matter much now, does it?" she asked regretfully and he sighed.

"I guess not," he said, kissing her forehead. "I'll speak with you soon." She nodded and kissed his cheek, opening the front door. He walked through and then turned and looked at her once more.

"Read that letter from your father," he said and she looked at him in puzzlement. He smiled and then turned, walked down the steps and was swallowed by the night. Catherine closed the door behind him and then leaned against it. Her hand went unbidden to the chain around her neck and she pulled the locket from under her shirt, holding it tightly in her hand.

"Oh Sirius," she whispered. "What did you do?"


	25. Surprises

**A/N - Hello all! All right, most of the background info is finished and we are finally going to start moving ahead in the POA timeline. The contents of Catherine's father's mysterious letter are revealed here and there will be a few flashbacks from Remus' point of view. I also wanted to mention that I do respond to my reviews, so if you have a question or would like a response, please be sure the private messaging feature is turned on in your profile. Enjoy and feel free to leave a review if you feel like it! :) **

**Chapter 25**

**Surprises**

**30 July 1993**

Catherine had just finished readying herself for bed when she heard a knock at the front door. She glanced at the clock next to her bed and frowned. It was after 11:00, who could possibly be at her door? The knocking got louder, more frantic, and Catherine grabbed her wand as she left her room. By the time she reached the bottom of the stairs, her mother was up as well, looking at Catherine curiously. Catherine approached the door, motioning her mother behind her, wand raised.

"Who is it?" she called out when she had reached the door.

"Catherine, it's me." Remus' voice was muffled by the slab of wood that divided them, but she still recognized it. She dropped her wand arm, pulled the bolt and yanked open the door, looking at him incredulously.

"Remus, what are you doing here?" she asked, but he simply pulled her back into the house as he entered, looking over his shoulder as he did so. Once inside, he closed the door and slid the bolt again, then pulled out his wand and muttered a few spells, one of which was an imperturbable charm, Catherine realized. Only when he was finished did he turn to look at Catherine and her mother, fear in his eyes.

"How many other doors lead outside?" he asked, his voice tight.

"Remus what is going on?" Catherine questioned. Remus turned to her and gripped her arms in his hands.

"The doors Catherine, how many?" he demanded, shaking her a little.

"Ju-just the door to the back garden," she replied, her eyes wide at his tone of voice. He gave her a curt nod and then walked hurriedly further into the house. She turned to her mother, who looked just as wide-eyed, before they both followed Remus. He finished with the back door just as the two came into the kitchen.

"I'm sorry for worrying you," he said as he scrubbed a hand down his face. "It's just, something's happened."

"What?" Catherine asked.

"You might want to sit down," Remus said, but Catherine stubbornly remained standing, sticking her wand into the pocket of her dressing gown.

"If you don't tell me what's happened right this minute, Remus Lupin," Catherine warned, crossing her arms in front of her. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"Sirius escaped from Azkaban."

Catherine was grateful for the kitchen table beside her as she dropped heavily into a chair. She heard her mother gasp before she too sat. Catherine had told her the entire story that morning. Remus joined them, putting his face in his hands for a moment.

"I thought," Catherine began shakily, then cleared her throat. "I thought it was impossible to escape from Azkaban."

"So did everyone else," Remus replied, rubbing his eyes tiredly.

"When?" Catherine asked.

"Sometime during the night last night," Remus said, sitting back in his chair. "Dumbledore told me just an hour ago."

"And you think he might come here?" Jane asked.

"It's possible," Remus replied.

"What did you do to the doors?" Jane asked.

"A few protective spells," Remus replied. "I'll do the windows on this floor before I go. The whole house should really be warded, but for the moment, those will do. I don't think he could make it this far from Azkaban in one day in any case."

"Warded?" Jane asked. "Do you mean like the wards around Hogwarts?" Remus looked surprised for a moment, before he remembered that the MacKenzie's had explained wards to Catherine's parents all those years ago.

"The same idea yes," Remus replied. "Although they wouldn't be nearly as extensive as the ones around Hogwarts. We can't have your house disappearing from a neighborhood it's been in all these years." He smiled and glanced at Catherine. She hadn't said anything, just watched the exchange between Remus and her mother. "Catherine?" he said gently.

"What?" she asked, clearly shaking herself from some kind of near trance.

"Are you all right?" he asked, looking at her in concern.

"Yes, I'm fine, I just," she trailed off, then wrapped her arms around herself. "Why do you think he'd come here?"

"Dementors suck the happiness out of you, leaving you with only your worst memories. If you're around them constantly, as the prisoners in Azkaban are, it's not until you've been away from their influence for a significant period of time that you begin to remember all the good things too. If you're even still sane at that point," Remus said quietly. "Most of Sirius' worst memories are from his childhood or from his years in the war and I'm sure the Ministry is watching his parents' home in London and Godric's Hollow among others, but he's got one particularly bad one from the park up the street." Catherine glanced sharply at him, eyes narrowed. "Since no one else knew about it, I thought I'd better come and make sure that it hadn't drawn him back here."

"I think you've got things backwards Remus," Catherine whispered. "That was one of my worst memories, not his."

"Did you read the letter?" Remus asked and Catherine's eyes bored into him. He knew something about that letter, although how he did she couldn't fathom.

"What letter?" Jane said, clearly confused. Catherine sighed and rubbed her forehead with her hand. She was extremely tired. She hadn't slept well the night before after pouring out her story about Daniel and this new emotional upheaval was the last thing she wanted to deal with. She hadn't even thought about her father's letter that day.

"You know that when we went to Gringott's I found out that Daddy had made a big deposit just before he died," Catherine began and her mother nodded. Catherine had been a bit surprised that her mother had known nothing of the money. "Well, he also left a letter for me." Jane gasped. "I just haven't been able to bring myself to read it yet." She turned to Remus. "What I want to know is exactly what you know about it."

"I don't know for sure what's in it," he admitted. "Although I've got a fairly good guess."

"And how could you possible know what my father would have written to me in a letter?" Catherine accused. "You've never even met him."

"Not face to face, no," Remus said. Catherine just gaped at him, having absolutely no idea what he was talking about.

"Remus would you stop speaking in riddles?" she demanded, completely exasperated.

"Just read the letter, Catherine," he implored. "Then I'll explain." They stared at each other for a few long moments, Jane looking back and forth between the two of them. Finally Catherine huffed and stood, went back up to her room and retrieved the letter, then came back down to the kitchen and dropped it on the table.

"There it is, read it yourself," she said darkly and Remus glared at her.

"It's not my letter," he replied, crossing his arms. Neither one moved, both staring at each other and trying to ignore the letter on the table between them.

"Oh for goodness sake," Jane exclaimed, picking up the letter herself. "You two are worse than Rory and Miranda." She turned the envelope over and her heart caught in her throat for a moment as she saw the familiar scrawl of her husband's hand. She ran a finger fondly over it before slitting the envelope and removing the sheets of paper inside. She scanned the first few paragraphs, her eyes going wide and then she cleared her throat and began to read.

_8 June 1984_

_My dearest Catherine,_

_I'm not sure just when you'll be reading this, but when you do, I know I'll be gone. I'm sorry that I couldn't bring myself to say these things to you in person or tell you about the money, but I've always been a bit of a coward when it came to you. I've only ever wanted to protect you from being hurt, but unfortunately, I don't think I've done a very good job of it. _

_I know you thought that I never wanted you to go to Hogwarts or be a witch, that I thought it was all just a waste of time, but the truth is, I was a bit jealous. You see, I believe you got your magic from my father's side of the family. My great-grandfather was what I believe your people would call a squib. _

Catherine gasped and brought a hand to her mouth. She looked a Remus who seemed as shocked as she was, so obviously he wasn't expecting anything along these lines.

_I never knew the proper term until you came home for Christmas your first year and I overheard you talking to your mother about your school and all you had learned. You mentioned the word in passing, used it to describe the caretaker, I believe. When you explained to your mother what it meant, I was reminded of my great-grandfather._

_I only visited him a few times when I was a small boy, he died when I was no more than eight or nine, but I can still remember the stories he told me. Stories of witches and wizards, castles and dragons, trolls and elves and fairies. At the time that's all I thought they were, stories. But when you got your letter and every time you came home from school with your tales about all that you had seen and were learning, all the stories my great-grandfather told me fit right in with what you were saying. He actually told me about Hogwarts, although he never called it by name, but instead explained how his sisters had attended a school that he wasn't allowed to go to because he didn't have the same talents that they had. And I had never met my aunts, although by all his accounts they were still alive. _

_I never thought much about it until the day the professor came with your letter. You see, Catherine, I had always known that there was something different about you, and not just because of the accidental magic that you did. I could see it. It was odd, really, like a slight shimmer around you all the time. I always thought it was strange, but I never questioned it until I saw the same light around the professor. And then I saw it again when the MacKenzie's came to our house. And the day that we came to Hogwarts to get you, I could see the light around everyone I met that day, even those elves that brought us the tea. It even shimmered on the walls of the castle. When Ellie was born I could see it around her too. _

"He could see magic," Remus breathed, his face filled with awe.

"How is that possible?" Catherine asked. "He wasn't a wizard." She looked to her mother, but Jane simply sat shaking her head, as if she couldn't believe what she was reading.

"I don't know," Remus admitted. "I'd have to talk to Albus, but it must have something to do with him being descended from a magical line. Some of us believe that muggle-born wizards and witches come from what was always assumed to be a squib line. It's as if the magic went dormant for a time and awoke again when the right conditions presented themselves. And not all that long ago, most pureblood families would disown a child that was a squib, sending them into the muggle world to be adopted by muggles. Some would even remove their memories of their earlier childhood, so they would have no idea they had come from a magical family. If your great-great-grandfather was indeed a squib, then you're only four generations removed from a magical line. It actually makes a bit of sense that your father would have some kind of magical ability. Obviously not enough for him to be considered a wizard, but there had to be something there to pass on to you." He turned to her mother then.

"I wouldn't be surprised if we went back into your genealogy and found that you were from a squib line either. The few muggle-borns that I know of that have researched their history have almost always found that both of their parents had magical ancestors somewhere along the line. Of course, it's very difficult to find out and prove, given the abandonment practice, but some families still kept records, even of their so-called 'embarrassments'."

Catherine stared at him, absolutely shocked. She was descended from one, possibly two, magical families? She couldn't wrap her mind around that. And obviously this wasn't what Remus was expecting from the letter.

"Go on Mum," she said.

_Ellie is what prompted all of this. I know that you love Daniel and from what I've seen, he's a good father. But there's something about him that I don't like. I can sense something in him, something that he tries to keep under control, tries to keep hidden, but it still comes out at times. I think, deep down, that you sense it too. I think that's why you've never been able to bring yourself to tell him you're a witch. I was wrong to encourage you not to tell him, by the way. I fear what his reaction will be when Ellie gets her Hogwarts letter. And if the fact that the shimmer around you is much more intense around your belly these days, then this next one coming is magical too. _

_I like to think that Daniel will be accepting of his children being magical, but just in case he isn't, I want you to be able to provide them with everything they need. And so, I've left a significant sum of money in your vault, as you have no doubt already discovered. I'm sure you wonder how I got it there, but I know where that Leaky Cauldron place is. Your mother told me about all of your trips to Diagon Alley all those years and how the entrance works. It will just take me getting to the pub and somehow, I have the feeling I'll be able to see it. Then I simply follow someone out and into the alley. I know I can get into Gringott's and make the deposit, your mother has always been able to get in, after all. And if this being able to see magic thing is any indication, I must have a little bit of magic in me somewhere. _

_There's something else, Catherine. Something I never should have done and something I will regret even after I'm gone. Two somethings actually. _

Remus looked up at these words and Catherine figured this must be what he was waiting for. She tried to catch his eye, but he ignored her and her mother was still reading, so Catherine turned back and listened intently once more.

_I should have never made you leave Hogwarts. I thought my reasons at the time were good ones and they probably were. But I was also being selfish, not wanting to admit that anyone else could watch over you as well as I could. And I was scared. I was terrified when your mother told me what happened. But I went there never intending to listen to what anyone else had to say, never intending to change my mind and that was wrong. The truth is, the plan your professor and the headmaster had to keep you safe was a good one and it probably would have worked. And when I found out later that you had another protector, well, let's just say I wish now that I had made different choices. _

_Yes, that's right. I knew that Henry, or should I say Sirius, was a wizard the first time I met him. And I suspected that the two of you had been dating while you were still at school and probably once you'd come home as well. That night before school started that you were out all night? I'm not so naïve as to think that you weren't with him._

Jane glanced up at this and raised an eyebrow. Catherine just shook her head and waved a hand to tell her mother that they would discuss it later.

_I'm sure you're probably wondering why I didn't do anything to stop it. The truth is that I was starting to regret my decision then. I made it in anger and if I had just sat down and taken time to cool off, I might have made a different one. But my stubborn pride wouldn't let me tell you that and so I thought if I let you have at least a bit of that world that maybe I would feel a little less guilty about it. I thought that you might forgive me a bit sooner if you had at least one thing to look forward to. _

_But then the two of you stopped dating, or at least I thought you did. You were sad and angry all the time again and I didn't know what to do to stop it. Then, one day in December I was in downtown London, walking to a meeting for work. I was behind a gentleman that had that shimmer about him, so I knew he was a wizard. He was in a hurry and as he pushed past someone, he dropped something. I bent and picked it up, intending on returning it to him if I could, when I realized it was that newspaper of yours, The Daily Prophet. _

_What I saw almost stopped my heart. Apparently the war had gotten worse, much worse, and the attacks against those from non-magical families were well on the rise. Even people with no attachment to your world were being killed, for simple sport it seemed. I was petrified and I almost came home right then to check on you and your mother. _

_I hid that paper and read it from cover to cover after I'd finished with my meeting and I was back in my office again. The more I read, the sicker I got until I thought I might literally sick up. I couldn't believe some of the things these people were doing. And then I saw his picture, Sirius'. You see, you can't tell hair and eye color from a black and white photograph and the man I saw in the picture was the exact same one that had been at my door just two months before. He was arresting one of those Death Eaters and when I read the article I saw that he was training to be what I assume are the equivalent of our policemen. I decided that I was glad that I had pulled you from school and that the two of you had broken things off. You were safer, I was sure of it. _

_Then a little over a week later, I was walking past your room and I heard someone saying your name. Imagine my surprise when I found a mirror on your desk and when I picked it up, 'Henry's' face was looking back at me. His hair was darker and his eyes were gray instead of blue, but it was him. I'm sure you can imagine how shocked he was when he saw me instead of you. _

_We had a little chat, he and I, and when I brought up my concerns, it seemed he had the same ones. He told me that he was worried that you were in danger because of your association with him. It seemed that he was very close to deciding to break things off with you. I'm ashamed to say that I gave him the final nudge he seemed to need. A few days later, well, you know what happened._

_At the time, I thought it was for the best, but now, now I wonder if I was wrong. I hope that Daniel proves me wrong, that he turns out to be the man you think that he is. I hope that one day when Ellie gets her letter that he embraces her magical talents unlike I did. I hope that he doesn't let pride or fear or anything else interfere with the love that he has for you and his children, because I can tell that he loves this next one already._

_All I can say is that I'm sorry and I wish that I was still there to see what my interference has done. I wish that I had been braver or had more faith in something that I could never bring myself to fully understand. Please know that I never did any of this to hurt you, but because I loved you more than my own life. But I know that I did hurt you and that is something that I will regret even after I'm gone. I'm so very sorry Catherine. Please make sure that Ellie and my next grandchild know how very much I loved them. _

_I love you princess,_

_Daddy_

Jane's voice had gotten shakier with the last few lines and when Catherine looked up there were tears streaming down her cheeks. Clearly, she'd had no idea of the things that Thomas had done. Catherine felt sure that she should be angry or sad at the very least, but she felt nothing. She was just numb. It seemed that her life had not been her own from the time she'd left Hogwarts. It was always being orchestrated by someone else, her father, Daniel, even Sirius.

She looked to Remus then, but he wouldn't meet her eye. Her mother was rereading the letter again, running her fingers over the words as if she could feel her husband through the ink on the page. Catherine turned to her and grasped her hand and her mother looked up with watery eyes.

"I didn't know," her mother choked out.

"I know Mum," Catherine replied, pulling her mother into a hug.

"I'm so sorry," Jane said.

"It's not your fault," Catherine insisted. Jane pulled back from her daughter and put a hand to her cheek. Catherine covered it with her own and smiled, her own eyes bright. Jane glanced between Remus and Catherine, seeming to sense that there was more to the story and that they weren't going to discuss it with her in the room.

"I think I'll just go to bed," she said quietly. "Do you mind if I take this?" she asked indicating the letter.

"No Mum, go ahead," Catherine replied. Her mother nodded and stood.

"Good night Remus," she said.

"Jane," he acknowledged. Jane patted Catherine on the shoulder one last time, then left the kitchen. Once she had gone, Catherine finally managed to catch Remus' eye.

"Obviously you know something about this," she said, a bit of an edge in her voice.

"Yes," he agreed.

"Are you going to tell me?" she asked tightly. He sighed and smiled ruefully at her.

"Yes, although I have a strong feeling you won't want me around anymore, once I do," he admitted. She pulled in a breath and blew it out slowly.

"Tell me," she ordered and he nodded.

* * *

**4 December 1978**

"Padfoot?" Remus called as he came into the cottage. There was no answer and Remus threw his knapsack on the couch before going into the kitchen. He opened the icebox and pulled out a butterbeer, taking a long swallow before wandering toward the bedrooms. He checked Sirius' but the light was off and the room empty. Sitting down on the couch, Remus sighed. It had been a long day and he'd had no luck finding work. He thought with the holidays coming that some of the muggle shops might be hiring and he wouldn't have to deal with the full moon until right after Christmas. But apparently he had waited too long and they had all the holiday help they needed.

Remus glanced over to the desk in the corner where the enchanted mirror sat. It was glowing, meaning that Catherine had tried to call and Remus sighed again. Sirius had been busy lately, but even when he'd been home, he was quiet and distant. Remus thought that perhaps being an Auror hadn't been the best choice for Sirius. Not that he wasn't good at it, he was. It was just that the things he saw seemed to affect him more than they did James. Remus didn't mean that James was callous or unfeeling, but it was almost as if Sirius felt personally responsible for the things that were happening because he was related to many of the perpetrators. When Remus tried to point out that he was only related to most of them by marriage, Sirius didn't seem to think it mattered. Just as he was finishing this thought, Sirius came through the door.

"Hey, Padfoot," Remus said as Sirius came into the room.

"Moony," Sirius acknowledged before going into the kitchen. He emerged moments later with a bottle of Ogden's instead of a butterbeer. Remus raised his eyebrows as Sirius slammed two glasses down on the table in front of the couch and filled them both with firewhiskey. He handed one to Remus, then took one himself. The two clinked glasses and then threw the drinks back. Sirius immediately poured himself another, but Remus shook his head when Sirius gestured to his glass.

"Care to tell me what this is all about?" Remus said as Sirius downed the second glass and refilled it once more.

"It's about me on the way to getting properly pissed," Sirius replied as he sipped at the third firewhiskey.

"And why have you decided to get pissed?" Remus continued, studying his friend for some clue as to what was going on.

"Meeting Prongs at the pub later," Sirius said shrugging. "Might as well get a head start." Remus said nothing, just watched the other man for a few moments.

"Catherine's tried to call a few times," he said, nodding toward the mirror. At this statement, Sirius gulped down the rest of his glass and refilled it again. "Sirius, what's going on?" Sirius stood and began to pace around the room, clearly agitated, but not ready to discuss it just yet. Remus watched him, letting him burn off some of the tension. Sirius finally stopped and dropped down in the armchair across from the couch.

"I arrested Avery today," he said quietly. Remus waited. He knew there was more to the story, but he would not get it if he interrupted with questions. "After I took him down to the Ministry and put him in the holding cells, Celia showed up."

"Shouldn't she be at school?" Remus asked, clearly confused.

"Apparently, she's left," Sirius replied, sipping at his drink again. "I know she's 17, perhaps her parents are trying to get her married off before she completely loses her mind." They sat in silence for a moment before Sirius continued. "Anyway, she insisted that I let Avery go and when I just laughed at her, she threatened me." Sirius stopped speaking again and looked off into the distance, seemingly lost in his own thoughts.

"Threatened you how?" Remus finally asked, unable to stand the silence any longer. Sirius looked at him for a moment and the anger and fear in his eyes was so profound, Remus knew immediately. "Catherine," he said and Sirius nodded.

"Give the man a galleon," he said his voice full of disgust.

"How does she know?" Remus asked.

"I have no idea," Sirius replied, scrubbing a hand down his face.

"What are you going to do?" Remus continued.

"I have no idea about that either," Sirius admitted. The silence returned and Remus tried to figure out what to say to his friend to reassure him.

"She was probably just bluffing," Remus finally said. "You didn't let him go did you?"

"Of course not," Sirius replied. "Even if I'd wanted to, it wouldn't be up to me." He looked down into his glass, swirling the liquor around. When he looked up his eyes were full of pain. "Merlin, Moony, you don't know how much I love her," he almost whispered. Remus stood and then sat on the table in front of Sirius, putting a hand on his arm.

"Yes, Padfoot, I do," he said.

"If anything happened to her," Sirius shook his head and looked back down at his glass. And then in one swift motion, he stood and threw his glass against the wall. "Damn this war!" he roared as the glass shattered, the firewhiskey splashing against the floor. And then he sank back down in the chair, his head in his hands. Remus pulled out his wand and cleaned up the liquid, repairing the glass and floating it back into the kitchen.

"Padfoot," Remus said quietly, but his friend stood and turned away, stalking into his room and slamming the door. Remus sighed and ran his hand through his hair just as the mirror buzzed again. He could hear Catherine's voice calling for Sirius and he looked at his friend's door, wondering if Sirius heard it too. But there was no sound from within and Remus felt sure that Sirius had cast a silencing charm on his room before he proceeded to destroy it. He'd done the same to their dorm when Catherine had been attacked. Remus knew that if he answered, he wouldn't be able to lie to her and so ignored the call for the moment. He felt horrible doing it, but he needed to help Sirius first.

He waited and after about 20 minutes Sirius emerged. He had changed from his robes into jeans and his leather jacket and besides his face being slightly red, there was no indication that he was upset.

"Catherine called again," Remus said and Sirius just shrugged.

"I've got to meet Prongs," he replied, heading for the door.

"Sirius, you've got to talk to her," Remus protested.

"I just," he paused, hand on the door and his back to Remus. "I can't Moony. I'm sorry." And then he walked out of the cottage, quietly closing the door behind him. Seconds later Remus heard the roar of Sirius' motorbike and knew he was gone.

Catherine called again a short time later and Remus had made excuses for Sirius, but he knew that Catherine was upset when she'd ended the call. He sighed and picked up a book, trying to read while he waited for Sirius to get home.

* * *

**30 July 1993**

"He was properly pissed when he got home, as I'm sure you'd expect," Remus said wry smile on his face. "Kept going on about Prongs proposing to Lily at Christmas and how the ring was magnificent and how he couldn't believe his best mate was going to get married. Sang a little too." Catherine couldn't help but chuckle.

"I reminded him that you had called and he said he'd get back to you soon," Remus replied. "But I could tell that he was still upset about what had happened with Celia." Catherine sighed.

"She was one of them," she said quietly and Remus looked at her quizzically. "That attacked me, she was the ring leader." Remus swore under his breath.

"Why didn't you tell anyone?" he asked.

"I told Professor Dumbledore," Catherine said. "But when he questioned her, she denied it. And the Cruciatus wasn't on her wand. She used mine." She looked up at Remus and he swore again. "So after discussing it with him, I decided to keep the information to myself. It wouldn't have done any good to accuse her. It was my word against hers and the curse was on my wand. You know how powerful her father was. And you know why I didn't tell Sirius." Remus nodded.

"He would have blamed himself," Remus replied. "And then he would have gone after her."

"Exactly," Catherine said. "I was never sure about who the others were, but I've got a strong suspicion that Avery and Mulciber were among them."

"I wouldn't doubt that," Remus agreed. "So she must have found out about the two of you while you were at Hogwarts then. I wonder how?"

"I don't know," Catherine admitted. "But someone saw us in Diagon Alley the summer before my 5th year. Regulus confronted Sirius about it. Maybe it was her."

"Perhaps," Remus mused. "Why didn't you ever try to call again?" Catherine shrugged.

"I was upset that he'd chosen to go out with James over spending time with me, especially since he saw James every day at work," she said. "And I was 16 and I thought the silent treatment was a good punishment." She smirked and Remus chuckled. "I was planning on calling, a few days before he had me meet him in the park. But then I got involved doing things with my parents." Remus nodded and sat in silence. He wasn't looking forward to telling her the next part.

"Why didn't he call me?" she asked quietly. Remus sighed.

"Because I told him not to," he admitted and Catherine's head swung up to stare at Remus. "I was trying to get him to change his mind. He wanted to break things off with you to keep you safe. We argued about it for days. I knew how miserable both of you would be if he did it and I didn't trust you to stay at your parents' once you turned 17. I thought you would come back to the magical world anyway and I knew you wouldn't come to us. Knowing that Myra and the rest of your friends were still in school, I figured you would just go off on your own. And besides the fact that being a muggle-born put a target on your back, now I knew that a complete mad woman was after you. I wanted him to think about it, really think about whether you would be safer with us, in a house we could ward to the hilt if we needed to or here where there was no protection at all. And that was if you even stayed here," Remus paused. "It didn't stop him from checking on you though. I know that he came here multiple times and would just stand and watch your house. He was terrified that Celia would follow through on her threat. After more than a week of this, I thought I had finally convinced him to my way of thinking. Then your father picked up the mirror that day."

* * *

**15 December 1978**

Remus looked up from the book he was reading as the front door opened. Sirius stepped through, stomping snow from his boots.

"Finally home, I see," Remus remarked.

"Yeah, Moody realized I'd worked for almost 72 hours straight," Sirius said, stifling a yawn.

"Did you sleep at all?" Remus asked, exasperated at the ridiculous schedule the Auror trainees were being kept on. Sirius shrugged.

"Few kips here and there," he said. He flopped down on the couch next to Remus. Remus saw his eyes drift to the desk. "Any calls?" he asked, trying to keep his voice casual. Remus shook his head.

"Sorry, Padfoot," he replied, putting his hand on his friend's shoulder.

"I suppose I should call her," Sirius said, looking down at his hands.

"Yes, you should," Remus agreed. Sirius nodded, then stood and went and picked up the mirror.

"Do you want me to leave?" Remus asked. Sirius shook his head.

"You already know what I'm going to say," he replied. "Catherine Powell." The mirror remained dark and there was nothing but silence. Sirius waited a few moments, then spoke her name again. He was just about to put the mirror down when it glowed white and Sirius smiled. He opened his mouth to speak when Remus heard a voice that was definitely not Catherine's.

"What is this?" a gruff voice said and Sirius looked at Remus wide-eyed. Remus looked back just as shocked as the voice spoke again. "Who are you?" Sirius glanced at the mirror and began to pull his wand from his sleeve so he could cancel the charm. Remus raised his eyebrows and Sirius mouthed the words 'her father' to him and Remus bit his lip to keep from laughing. Sirius glared at him. As he pulled his wand free, the mirror came up further in front of his face.

"Hey, it's you!" the voice exclaimed and Sirius swore under his breath.

"Hello, Mr. Powell," he said and gave the man a tight smile.

"What's your real name because I know it's sure as hell not Henry Walker," Thomas Powell demanded.

"Sirius Black, sir," Sirius answered.

"How long have you been dating my daughter?" the man asked. Sirius sighed.

"A year and a half."

"What is this thing?" he asked, clearly talking about the mirror.

"Magical communication mirrors sir," Sirius replied. "I charmed them before Catherine left Hogwarts so she and I could still talk once she was home." Thomas harrumphed and Sirius waited for him to speak again.

"I saw you in that newspaper of yours last week," Thomas continued. Remus started. How had Catherine's father gotten hold of the Prophet? Sirius seemed to be thinking the same thing if the expression on his face was anything to go by. "Your people should be more careful where they drop things like that." Sirius simply nodded. "So you're some type of magical policeman?"

"Yes, sir, I'm training to be an Auror," Sirius said.

"Dangerous job, I'd imagine," Thomas said.

"I suppose so," Sirius replied slowly. Remus wondered where this line of questioning was going.

"What are your intentions toward my daughter?" Thomas asked, abruptly changing topics. Sirius gaped at Remus and Remus had to bite the insides of both of his cheeks to keep from bursting into laughter. Remus gestured for Sirius to answer and Sirius glared back in return. He took a deep breath and then looked back at the mirror.

"I love your daughter, sir," he said and there was silence at the other end of the mirror. Remus waited, holding his breath, until Catherine's father spoke again.

"If you love her," he finally said, very quietly. "Then please, you have to let her go."

"Sir?" Sirius said, clearly confused.

"I know what's going on in your world," Thomas said. "I know how much danger she would be in just because of whom she is, who her parents are. It's the reason she was attacked at school, the reason I brought her home. Please, just let her live a normal life. Forget about her."

"I realize that sir and I have to admit that I have thought of breaking things off but," Sirius' voice cracked. "I don't know if I can do that."

"If you love her, you will," Thomas said. "Your job is dangerous, I'm sure you're a target just because of that. You won't be able to protect her all the time."

"I have friends that can help," Sirius protested and Remus stood, walking quickly to Sirius' side.

"He does sir," Remus said to the man in the mirror. "Catherine is my friend too, I'd never let anything happen to her."

"I'm sure every other husband or boyfriend or father or friend of all those other people that have been killed said the same thing," Thomas replied. "Please," he said, his voice very soft. "She's all I have, please don't take her from me." Remus was horrified to see tears gathering in the man's eyes. He looked to Sirius, but he could tell that his friend had already decided. Sirius handed the mirror to Remus and turned away.

"He'll think about it," Remus said and Thomas nodded as Remus wiped the mirror.

"Padfoot," Remus said quietly, but Sirius just shook his head.

"He's right Moony," Sirius stated, his voice flat. "I can't protect her all the time."

"You can protect her a hell of a lot better here, than you can there," Remus argued, but Sirius said nothing. "Just think about it Pads." Sirius nodded and went to his room, quietly closing the door.

* * *

**A/N2 - Aww, poor Sirius! I know, I'm so terrible to these two! Sorry that I didn't get to the break-up in this chapter, but it will be in the next one, I promise. :)**


	26. Moving On

**A/N - Happy New Year everyone! I hope that 2013 is good to all of you! All right, the story will now start taking bigger jumps in time as we move through POA's timeline and this will be the last we see of Sirius for awhile I'm afraid. I have been toying with the idea of doing a couple earlier scenes from Sirius' point of view if anyone is interested. If you are, let me know in either a review or send me a message! Hope you enjoy this chapter! :) **

**Chapter 26**

**Moving On**

**30 July 1993**

Catherine had risen from the table in the middle of Remus' tale and was standing staring out the kitchen window. Tears were slowly running down her cheeks, but she did nothing to stop them.

"You didn't change his mind, obviously," Catherine said and Remus sighed.

"No," he said. "Not for lack of trying though." He shook his head ruefully. "He went back to work a few hours later, didn't come home until the next day. And that was only because Moody himself brought him there. He told me to tie him to his bed if I had to, but Sirius wasn't to go back to work until Sunday afternoon." Catherine snorted.

"So did you have to tie him to his bed?" she asked, knowing that Sirius would have been incensed that he'd been forced to go home.

"No, but it was a near thing," Remus chuckled. "I tried Catherine, I swear I did, but his mind was made up."

"I know you did," Catherine said, turning and giving him a sad smile.

"Are you angry with your father?" he asked. Catherine shrugged a shoulder.

"It wouldn't do me much good to be angry with him now. It won't change anything," she said. "I don't feel much of anything to be honest. I understand why he did what he did." She glanced at the stairs that led to the children's bedrooms. "I've learned that some things aren't meant to be. Sirius and I," she broke off, her voice wavering. "Sirius and I are one of them, I've come to realize. Especially after what he said to me that day, about there being someone else. Was there," she paused and then turned to fully face Remus. "Was there really someone else?" Remus sighed.

"This is what I meant about the terrible memory from the park," he said and then began to recount that day.

* * *

**18 December 1978**

Sirius and Remus apparated to the park. They stood in the copse of trees and Remus immediately disillusioned himself. He walked to the tree line and looked out, seeing Catherine sitting on a bench across the park. She had turned on the bench and was facing the trees, having heard the sound of their apparition, Remus assumed. He stepped back into the woods and removed the charm.

"She's here," Remus said and Sirius nodded. He looked more broken than Remus had ever seen him, even worse than the night Catherine was attacked. "You don't have to do this Padfoot. You can still change your mind. Please don't do this, we'll keep her safe." Sirius' face hardened then and he looked back at his friend.

"No Moony, I can't change my mind," he said. "Please just make sure she's all right. After. And if I can't, if I don't," he broke off, taking in a few deep breaths. "Just make sure I leave. Don't let me linger." Remus nodded sadly and reapplied the charm to himself. He followed behind Sirius as they approached Catherine and Remus' heart broke when he saw the joy on her face at seeing Sirius. When Sirius led Catherine to the bench, Remus held back, wanting to give his friend at least the illusion of privacy.

Remus watched as Sirius took the mirror back from Catherine. He watched as Catherine realized what Sirius was doing and tried to argue him out of it. And then he watched as Sirius broke her heart. What the hell was he talking about, there was someone else? Remus listened to Sirius telling Catherine about the supposed other woman in his life and his fury grew. How dare he do that! And after Sirius had just told him how much he loved Catherine a mere two weeks before. When had this mystery woman entered the picture and who was she?

Before Remus could think on it further, he realized that Sirius was finished and waited for his friend to leave. For a moment Remus thought he wouldn't go, thought that he might have to drag him away himself, but then Sirius whispered that he was sorry and without even moving back into the cover of the trees, he apparated away.

Catherine sat sobbing on the bench and Remus wanted nothing but to sit beside her and tell her that Sirius hadn't meant the things he'd said, that he still loved her more than anything. He wanted to tell her that it was her father that convinced Sirius to do this and then take her with him to their cottage whether she was of age or not. But how could he when he didn't even know himself what Sirius had or hadn't done. Was he really seeing someone else or was it just something he had said in order to convince Catherine to forget about him? Regardless of which it was Remus was incensed at Sirius' callousness. Shaking his head, Remus watched as Catherine finished crying and then folded in on herself, liberally applying warming charms to her to keep her from freezing.

As the sun began to set, he started to worry that she was going to stay there all night and was trying to decide the best way to go about getting her home without her seeing him. Just as he'd decided to remove the disillusionment charm and carry her home if need be, he saw a woman come into the park calling her name. Sighing in relief, he waited until the woman, who was obviously Catherine's mother, reached her side. He moved back from the bench as her mother took Catherine by the arm, but he started forward as Catherine crumpled. He managed to keep himself from reaching out for her as Catherine's mother helped her up and then slowly led her from the park. Remus watched them until they were out of sight and then he apparated away himself, unaware of the tears that had frozen on his cheeks.

* * *

When Remus reached the cottage, he was furious. He loved Catherine, not as Sirius did to be sure, but like he loved Lily. The fact that Sirius might have been cheating on her had taken over his brain, not allowing any rational thought in. Remus stormed inside, flinging the door open so hard that it bounced back against the wall with a loud bang. Sirius was sitting in front of the fireplace, staring into its empty depths and didn't as much as flinch when Remus came storming inside. Remus slammed the door shut and was across the room in three strides. He stopped in front of Sirius and pulled him up by the front of his robes until their faces were only inches apart.

"What the bloody hell was that you bloody wanker?" Remus spat.

"I broke things off with her, like I said I was going to," Sirius replied dully.

"I meant the part about you shagging someone else," Remus hissed. "You couldn't keep it in your pants even at work?" Sirius looked at him defiantly for a moment and then seemed to deflate, sagging in Remus' grip.

"It was the only thing I could think of to convince her to let me go," he said quietly and Remus shoved him back onto the couch. "She wasn't going to give up, she wasn't listening to me." He trailed off and looked down at his hands.

"You couldn't think of anything else besides that?" Remus demanded, relieved that Sirius at least hadn't stooped so low, but still furious that he had said it in the first place. "You should have seen her after you left Sirius. She didn't move from that bench. I thought I was going to have to carry her home myself."

"Is she all right?" Sirius asked, panicked now. "You didn't leave her there alone did you?"

"Of course not, you arse," Remus replied exasperatedly. "Her mother came looking for her and took her home." Sirius slumped back against the couch. Remus sighed and sat down on the coffee table in front of him. "Are you sure this was the best idea?"

"Don't Moony," Sirius said quietly. "It's hard enough without you making me second guess myself. I can't put her in any more danger. I won't." Remus just shook his head and sighed again. "That's why I said what I did," Sirius continued. "She won't try and come looking for me now once she turns 17. I'm sure of it. She'll be better off without me."

"And what about you Padfoot?" Remus said gently. "Will you be better off without her?" Sirius looked up at him, the pain evident in his eyes.

"No Moony, I don't believe I will."

* * *

**30 July 1993**

"Sirius was a wreck for weeks, months after that," Remus said quietly, speaking around the large lump that was now inhabiting his throat. "He stayed at work as much as he could and when they forced him to come home, he drank until he passed out. And when he woke up, he'd start all over again." Catherine said nothing, just continued to stare out the window. Remus rose and went to stand beside her.

"I think it was a year before I saw him genuinely smile again," Remus continued. "And that was only when Prongs told him Lily was pregnant. Even at their wedding, his happiness was forced. I know he was thinking about you."

"Stop, please," Catherine begged, tears still running down her face. "I can't take anymore." Remus put a hand on her arm, but she shrugged it off. "How could you not tell me Remus?" she whispered. "How could you not have come back and told me that he was lying about that? I was broken Remus, I lay in my bed for days. I scared the hell out of my mother, she thought I'd been assaulted or something. Why didn't you come back?"

"I'm sorry Catherine," Remus said, his voice pained. "You don't know how many times I almost did. But Sirius had made it clear that he wanted you here, in the muggle world, to keep you safe. I don't know what he would have done if I'd told you and you had come back to our world. I didn't have a job, very little money, I didn't have anything to offer you."

"I could have gotten a job, a flat," she protested.

"I thought about it, I swear that I did," Remus said. "But if anything had happened to you I would have never forgiven myself. As far as I knew, Celia didn't know where you were or if she did, she had no idea how to get to you. If she had, I'm sure that something would have happened long before then. You'd been home for nearly a year at that point."

"But you said that you didn't agree with Sirius," Catherine reminded him.

"I know that, but the more I thought about it, the more confused I became," Remus said. "I didn't know what would be better for you." He sighed and scrubbed a hand down his face. "I was 18, a kid really, even though we'd been forced to live in a very adult world for some time. I didn't know what to do. Even now I'm still not sure if I made the right choice or not." Catherine still didn't look at him, but he could see the tears still running down her cheeks. He sighed and tentatively put an arm around her waist and she leaned into him.

They stood in silence, both looking unseeing out the kitchen window, Catherine trying to reconcile the Sirius she had seen in the park that day with the one Remus described. She supposed that the shakiness she'd heard in Sirius' voice just before he'd left made more sense now. As did the comment her father had made when Catherine wouldn't leave her bed after. She'd thought he'd been talking about taking her from Hogwarts when he'd said it was 'for the best', but he had actually meant Sirius breaking things off with her. Her anger flared and then died just as quickly. It did no good to be angry at a dead man.

But now, Remus' earlier words and actions came back to her. Sirius had escaped from Azkaban and Remus obviously was convinced enough that Sirius would return here, that he'd put up spells on the doors of her home. None of it made sense though. If Sirius had truly changed as Remus had insisted that he had, then why would he try and find her again? The whole memory from the park notwithstanding, he probably wouldn't remember where she lived if all his good memories were gone.

"Do you really think we need to ward the house?" she asked, as she turned to face Remus. "Do you really think he would hurt me, even if he did come back here?" Remus sighed and shook his head.

"I don't know Catherine, I honestly don't," Remus said. "I never thought he would betray James and Lily or hurt Peter, but he did. I just, I don't know." Catherine didn't say anything. Regardless of what she'd told Remus yesterday, she could not even begin to believe that Sirius had done what he was accused of.

"What cupboard was that scotch in that you found yesterday?" she asked and Remus chuckled, waving his wand at the cupboard above the refrigerator and floating the scotch down to the table once again. Catherine retrieved the glasses and Remus poured them each a drink. They both sipped slowly, Catherine grimacing with each swallow.

"I suppose it's better to put the wards up and not need them, then not have them when we do," she finally said and Remus nodded. "Can you do them on your own?"

"No, but I'm sure I could get Filius to come and help me," Remus replied.

"Professor Flitwick?" Catherine asked, brightening a bit.

"I'm sure he'd love to see you and I don't doubt that he knew something about you and Sirius in any case," Remus said with a smile.

"All right," she said. "I just don't want the children around when you do it. I don't want to worry them." Remus nodded and drained the rest of his glass.

"I should go," he said and Catherine stood and hugged him. "I'll owl you tomorrow after I've had a chance to talk to Filius." He quickly put up a few spells on the windows of the main floor and took the imperturbable charm off the front door as they approached it.

"Be safe," Catherine said as she opened the door. He smiled at her and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek, then walked off toward the park once again.

* * *

**31 August 1993**

Catherine walked into her oldest daughter's room with a stack of clothes. Ellie was currently bent over her trunk, shifting something around.

"Clean clothes," Catherine announced, setting the pile down on the bed.

"Thanks Mum," she heard Ellie mumble from behind the trunk's open lid.

"Need any help?" Catherine asked, as she moved around the side and stood next to her daughter.

"I'm just trying to figure out how to keep these ink bottles from breaking," Ellie said, standing up straight. "The pile of books keeps falling over."

"Here, how about this," Catherine said, as she began to move things around. "Make a base of books on the bottom of the trunk and then put your robes and clothes on top. The ink and quills and all your potions supplies can go on top of the clothes. That's how I used to do it."

"Or," Ellie said, cheeky grin on her face. "You could just cast a cushioning charm on the whole lot. I mean, being you are a witch and all." Catherine opened her mouth to retort, then closed it again, chuckling.

"Okay, you got me," she admitted. "Although you know I didn't have the benefit of having a witch for a mum when I was in school. And it worked just fine this way too." She pinched her daughter's cheek playfully and pulled her wand from her pocket, where she'd taken to keeping it since Remus' visit in July, and cast a cushioning charm on the trunk and its contents. Ellie smiled and turned back to the few personal items she had still lying on her desk.

Catherine glanced out the window and looked up and down the street as had become her custom since she'd found out that Sirius had escaped from prison. Remus had indeed gotten the help of Professor Flitwick, Catherine had a hard time thinking of him as Filius, and the two had come to ward the house on the first of August. They'd come late at night after the children were in bed, although they had cast a muggle-repelling charm around the house before they'd started to keep any curious neighbors away, just in case. It had only taken them an hour or so to set the wards, mostly protective ones to keep out anyone who wished them harm or bore the Dark Mark. When they had finished, the three had stayed up well into the early hours of the morning talking and reminiscing about Catherine's Hogwarts days.

Catherine had discussed her plan to try and take her O.W.L.S. in a few months and Professor Flitwick had made himself available should she need any help with Charms. He had assured her that any of the other professors would be willing to help her as well, although Catherine was fairly positive that Severus Snape wouldn't be one of them. She was glad that she'd never had much trouble in potions.

She had been shocked that Snape was now working at the school. She suspected he had been a Death Eater, something Remus had confirmed, but apparently he had turned spy for Dumbledore at the end of the war. She could not picture him teaching children and after a few glasses of wine, Professor Flitwick had let slip that he wasn't the most pleasant of colleagues.

Later, once the professor had left, Catherine had asked Remus how he was ever going to be able to work alongside the man that he and his best friends had taunted and pranked all throughout their school years.

"We're adults now, Catherine," Remus had said. "I'm sure we'll be able to let petty boyhood grudges go and act maturely." Catherine had actually snorted at this, which made Remus glare, but he had chuckled with her a few minutes later. "Well, perhaps we'll just keep out of each other's way as much as possible."

"Sounds like a much better plan," she'd agreed.

"Well, I'll have to deal with him at least once a month, regardless," Remus had admitted and Catherine had quirked an eyebrow at him. "He's making the Wolfsbane for me." The potion was one of the things the three of them had discussed. Catherine had been overjoyed to learn that there was something to keep her friend from hurting himself during the monthly change.

"And you're going to trust him not to poison you?" she had asked incredulously.

"Well, since he's rather proud of his talent as a potions master, I doubt he would risk his reputation just to get rid of one annoying werewolf. Besides, we'd know it was him if he did," Remus had replied.

Catherine shook her head now and smiled. She could only imagine what the year was going to be like with the two of them in the same castle once again. She heard the lid of the trunk close and she looked over at Ellie.

"Done, finally," Ellie said, with a sigh of relief.

"And look, the sun isn't even down yet," her mother replied. "You beat me by a couple of hours." Catherine smiled and Ellie returned it, then her face became thoughtful. Catherine waited, wondering what she was thinking about. Catherine moved to her daughter's bed and sat down on the edge. Ellie leaned against her desk and began to pick at her fingernails, a sure sign that she was nervous about something.

"What is it El?" she asked. Ellie looked up at her, worrying her lip between her teeth. Catherine looked at her for a few seconds before opening her arms. Ellie very nearly flew into them and Catherine scooted back so she was leaning against the headboard, pulling her daughter onto her lap. Catherine rested her chin on top of Ellie's head, rubbing her back gently. They sat that way for a few minutes, Catherine enjoying every minute of the closeness that she didn't see very often. Although only eleven, Ellie was so very serious and seemed determined to convince her mother she was much older than she really was. She was so good at it Catherine sometimes forgot that Ellie was still just a little girl. Moments like these, Catherine treasured and so she just sat, waiting for her daughter to explain when she was ready.

"I'm scared, Mum," Ellie finally admitted.

"Of what?" Catherine asked, gently.

"Of going away to school, learning how to do magic, being away from you," Ellie whispered. Catherine hugged her daughter close and stroked her hair.

"I know it's scary, especially living away from home. But I know you're going to love it Ellie. There's just something about Hogwarts. I can't explain it, but I know you'll feel it when you get there." Catherine smiled to herself.

"What if no one likes me?" Ellie whispered and Catherine smiled above her daughter's head.

"What's not to like?" Catherine asked smiling down at her as Ellie looked up. Ellie rolled her eyes and sat up, moving to her mother's side instead of on her lap. Catherine put an arm around her instead.

"I mean it," Ellie said. "I don't really know much about magic or anything and what if everyone else thinks I'm stupid or something." Catherine sighed.

"I'm sorry that I haven't taught you more about magic Ellie," she said. "But, there will be other children that grew up completely as muggles and have absolutely no idea about anything before they get there. That's what I was like and I made a friend on the first day. And she was a pureblood too."

"Pureblood?" Ellie asked confusion on her face. Catherine looked at her daughter trying to decide just what and how much she should say. She didn't want to scare the girl, but she did think Ellie needed to know the way of things before she was confronted with it at school. If what Remus said about Dumbledore's suspicions was true, they might all be in for another war, sooner rather than later.

"You know, I think your brother and sister should hear this as well," Catherine finally decided. "Why don't you run and get them and I'll tell all of you at once. Grandma too, if she wants to come up." Catherine secretly hoped that her mother would. She could use some moral support.

A few minutes later, they were all assembled in Ellie's room, Ellie still by her side and Miranda in her lap. Rory lay on his stomach at the end of the bed, his chin propped up in his hands and her mother was sitting in Ellie's desk chair. Jane nodded encouragingly when Catherine glanced up at her and she took a deep breath and began.

She told them about purebloods and half-bloods and muggle-borns and how some in their society looked down on those without pure blood. She told them that she'd left Hogwarts because her parents were worried about her being a muggle-born, although she didn't go into many details, not wanting to scare them. And then she explained Voldemort's rise to power and what happened to him, that fateful night on Halloween when he was vanquished by little Harry Potter.

"Harry is at Hogwarts now, Remus tells me. He's a third year," Catherine told Ellie. "Perhaps you'll meet him." Ellie nodded.

"Mummy," Miranda said, looking up at her with sad eyes.

"Yes, sweetheart," Catherine replied.

"I think Harry Potter should come and live with us," the little girl said and Catherine just looked at her in confusion.

"How come?" she asked.

"Cause he doesn't have a mummy or a daddy anymore and we don't have a daddy either, but we have a mummy and a grandma and we should take care of him," she finished and Catherine hugged her close.

"That's very sweet Miranda, but I think he lives with his aunt and uncle now," Catherine said. "I'm sure they take good care of him." She smiled at her little girl. "Now, I can smell the dinner Grandma made all the way up here and I'm starving. Let's go eat." The two younger children scrambled from the bed and raced down the stairs, followed by their grandmother who was admonishing them to slow down. Catherine chuckled and she and Ellie stood, her arm still around the girl.

"So is he really dead then?" Ellie asked before they left the room. "Voldemort I mean?" Catherine sighed. She had been hoping to avoid this particular question. Still her daughter would hear all the stories soon enough.

"I'm not sure Ellie," Catherine replied honestly. "Many people think he is, but there are others that aren't so certain. You don't need to worry about it though. The castle is a very safe place." Ellie just nodded and Catherine hugged her again before leading her daughter down the stairs to the kitchen for dinner.

* * *

**1 September 1993**

"Rory go see if you can find a trolley," Catherine said after she'd pulled Ellie's trunk from the boot of the car. The boy raced off toward the front of the station, Catherine trying to keep an eye on him as well as her daughters. Ellie had climbed from the back seat of the car with her owl cage in one hand, holding tight to Miranda with the other. Rory came back moments later with a trolley and Catherine loaded the trunk and then the owl cage onto it.

"All right, let's go," she said, shutting the boot and exchanging the handle of the trolley for Miranda's hand with Ellie. The four made their way into the station, garnering a few strange looks at the owl in its cage. They approached the wall between platforms 9 and 10 and Ellie looked at her warily.

"Are you sure this is going to work?" she asked, her brow furrowed.

"I'm still here aren't I?" Catherine asked, smirking. Ellie just rolled her eyes in response. "Why don't the two of you go first," she continued, indicating Ellie and Rory. "Just hold tight to the trolley and take it at a bit of a run if that makes you feel better. Stay just on the other side of the barrier. Miranda and I will be right behind you." Ellie looked at her mother skeptically once more, but Rory was more than ready which was why Catherine had insisted they go through together.

The two siblings looked at each other, then counted to three and took off at a run toward the wall. Catherine unconsciously held her breath, as she always did before passing through the barrier, and let it out quickly once they'd gone through. Miranda squealed in delight and Catherine chuckled and squeezed her hand.

"All right little miss, ready?" Catherine asked her and Miranda nodded. The two began to walk quickly toward the barrier and seconds later, they were through as well.

"We did it Mummy, we did it!" the little girl exclaimed and Catherine laughed as she picked her up and balanced her on her hip.

"Yes, we did," Catherine replied and tweaked her daughter's nose. She looked up to see a few mothers glancing at them with indulgent looks on their faces and Catherine smiled in response. She looked ahead and saw her other two children looking around the platform with wonderment on their faces. Catherine grinned and approached them, letting the sights and sounds of Platform 9 ¾ take her back to her own school days.

The train looked just the same, the same bright shade of red, steam pouring from the stack at the engine. The bustling families were the same as well, children running and finding friends, parents admonishing them to behave and study hard and younger siblings holding tight to parents hands and trying not to get lost. Trunks and trolleys were everywhere and the animals were as varied as the people, cats and owls, toads and rats amongst the number. She put a hand on Ellie's shoulder and guided her towards the open door of one of the train's cars. She set Miranda down on the ground before turning to Ellie.

"All right?" she asked and Ellie nodded, but Catherine could see that her eyes were bright and her lips was trembling a bit. Catherine pulled her into a hug and felt the girl take in a hitching breath. Catherine leaned down and planted a kiss on top of her head, then squatted before her. "You'll be fine," Catherine said quietly. Ellie nodded, but Catherine could tell she wasn't convinced.

"Remember, Remus will be on the train and he said that you can come find him if you need anything," Catherine continued. She had been a bit irritated with Professor Dumbledore for asking Remus to ride the train so soon after the full moon, but Remus had assured her he would be fine and the headmaster had wanted someone looking out for Harry with Sirius on the loose. Catherine had snapped something about that being the Aurors' job, until Remus had assured her that he wanted to be there and get his first look at Harry in twelve years. Catherine had dropped it after that. She couldn't imagine what Remus had gone through, not being able to see the one link left to his friends for all those years.

"Okay," Ellie replied and took in a deep breath.

"Say good-bye to your sister now," Ellie told her other two children and Miranda threw her arms around her sister's waist.

"I'll miss you Ellie," the little girl said and Ellie smiled and hugged her back.

"I'll miss you too, Manda. I'll send you owls all the time, okay?" Miranda nodded and Ellie patted the top of her head, then looked to Rory. Her brother was standing with his hands in his jeans pockets, scuffing the toe of his trainer on the platform.

"Well, bye then," he said, looking at the ground. Catherine watched as Ellie put her hands on her hips and huffed at him.

"What kind of good-bye is that?" she demanded and Rory just shrugged. "Come here you great prat." She pulled her brother into her embrace and after a second Rory hugged her tightly. "I'm going to miss you Ror," Ellie said quietly and Rory nodded against her neck.

"Me too," he said and Catherine's eyes filled. She blinked the tears away, not wanting to upset Ellie any further. Ellie finally released her brother and stepped back and smirked at him.

"Git," she said.

"Brat," he returned and then they both started to laugh. Miranda joined in and Catherine smiled.

"My turn," she said, holding out her arms to Ellie. Ellie bit her lip and then rushed into them and Catherine squeezed her as tightly as she could. The tears returned and this time she couldn't stop them before one or two had fallen. When she had sufficiently composed herself, she stepped back and looked at her daughter. "I'm so very proud of you," she said and Ellie nodded, her face reddening a little. "Okay, on to the train with you," Catherine continued, taking the trunk off the trolley and getting ready to load it onto the car. Before she could however, she heard a voice calling her name.

"Catherine?" Catherine turned and looked to her left and there, holding the hand of two little girls, stood Myra MacKenzie. Catherine dropped the trunk and brought a hand to her mouth, gasping at the sight.

"Myra?" she said in no more than a whisper. She could see her children looking at her in confusion, but she couldn't say anything else. She motioned Miranda towards Ellie and took a few steps toward her old friend. And then Myra let go of the girls' hands, giving them off to the two boys that stood behind her and she ran toward Catherine. They stared at one another for another second, before Myra closed the remaining distance between them. And then Catherine was hugging the friend that she hadn't been sure she would ever see again.

She'd meant to send Ellie's owl, more than once. But every time she'd sat down to write the letter, she couldn't think of how to begin. She couldn't condense the last 15 years into a note and she didn't know if Myra would even want to talk to her after such a long time. So she had continued to put it off. And now here they were after all.

"I can't believe it's you," Myra was saying over and over again while Catherine just kept saying, "I'm sorry." Finally they stepped back from each other and Catherine could feel the tears on her face and Myra's was a mask of shock. Catherine knew that everyone around them was staring and then the two of them were giggling and then laughing so hard, more tears streamed down their cheeks.

"Uh, Mum," a boy's voice said from behind Myra. "Are you all right?" Myra turned and still laughing, put an arm around the boy.

"I'm fine, just fine," she said, still grinning widely at Catherine. "This is my son, Ethan. He's a second year."

"Second year?" Catherine echoed. "And here I thought I was ahead of the game with a first year."

"Yes, well, Ian didn't want to waste any time once we'd graduated," Myra admitted and Catherine laughed.

"Mu-um," Ethan said, clearly disgusted by his mother's comment, which only made Catherine laugh all the harder. She motioned to her children and they walked up to join her, as Myra did the same.

"This is Ellie," Catherine began. "She'll be a first year. And this is Rory who just turned nine and this one hiding behind my legs is Miranda. She's six." Catherine felt a tug on her trouser leg and bent down to her daughter who whispered something into her ear. "Sorry," Catherine said as she stood. "Six and a half." Myra chuckled.

"Well this is Ethan, as I said," she turned to Ellie. "He's a second year in Ravenclaw." Ethan gave her a little wave and Ellie blushed and said 'hi' so quietly even Catherine almost didn't hear her. "And this is Owen, he'll be starting next year. And these," she pulled the two little girls forward, "are the twins, Anna and Alexis. They're seven." Catherine quirked an eyebrow at Myra.

"All vowels?" she asked, knowing Myra would understand she meant the children's names. Myra just rolled her eyes and Catherine almost wept at the sight. How she had missed her friend.

"Yes, well, Ian thought it was 'cute'," she said. "He actually wanted to name Alexis, Ursula, so we'd have all five vowels. Ursula, honestly." She shook her head.

"Mum, there's only ten minutes until the train leaves," Ethan said and Myra nodded.

"All right, all right," Myra said and set to saying goodbye to her oldest. As she released him, he turned towards the train.

"Oy, MacKenzie," someone yelled and he looked up and smiled.

"Mum, there's Will. Can I go?" he asked and Myra looked back to Catherine and Ellie.

"Yes, but take Ellie with you, won't you?" Myra asked. Ethan looked as though he was going to protest for a moment, but Myra glared at him and he nodded quickly.

"Sure," he said, turning towards Ellie. "Hey, Will has a sister that's starting this year too. Her name's Tess. Come on, I'll introduce you." The two walked toward the boy that had called out for Ethan and Catherine could see Ethan introducing Ellie to the brown-haired girl next to Will. The two girls smiled at each other and Tess took Ellie's hand just as Myra had for Catherine all those years ago. Catherine smiled and before she could say anything, saw Myra step up next to her.

"Thank you for that," she said and Myra just smiled.

"Will is in Ravenclaw with Ethan and both of his parents were as well. Stands to reason that his sister will be too. What about Ellie?" Myra asked.

"Oh, I think I can safely say that will be a definite," she smiled at Myra. A few minutes later, the two girls ran back to Catherine.

"Mum, this is Tess," Ellie said with a wide grin on her face. "Can you help me with my trunk now? We're going to get on the train."

"Of course," Catherine replied. "Hello, Tess." Tess smiled as Catherine levitated Ellie's trunk onto the train. And then Ellie gave her mother one last hug before following her new friend up the steps of the train car. Catherine sighed and felt a few tears gathering in her eyes as she felt Myra slip an arm around her.

"It doesn't get easier," Myra said, her own eyes bright. "But it's good for them."

"I know," Catherine said, putting her own arm around Myra's shoulders as Ethan and Will also boarded, both boys lugging their own trunks behind them. The group stood and watched until the train pulled away and then Myra turned to Catherine.

"You must come to the house," she insisted. "We've got so much to catch up on."

"All right," Catherine agreed. "When do you want me?"

"Now," Myra replied, grinning.

"Oh, but the children," Catherine said.

"Bring them along," Myra replied. "Merlin knows mine are always morose when Ethan goes back to school. A distraction will do them good. We can walk to the Leaky, it's not far, and floo from there." Catherine bit her lip, thinking. She did have the car here at the station, but it wouldn't do any harm to leave it here and then come back and pick it up once they'd left Myra's.

"I'll just need to let my mother know," she said and Myra looked at her curiously. "Long story," Catherine said with a wry smile. Myra just nodded and Catherine knew her friend would have it out of her by the end of the day. They gathered their children and made their way through the barrier back into King's Cross. Catherine used the telephone box outside the station to call her mother and then the group walked to the Leaky Cauldron and flooed to Myra's house.


	27. Old Friends and New Starts

**A/N - Hello all! More with Myra and her family in this chapter, glad her return was well-received. And Catherine will begin taking charge of her life once again. More on that to come in later chapters. The story will begin to follow the POA timeline now. Thanks to all who are reading and those who have taken time to reveiw. It truly means the world to me! Also, if there is any interest in the one-shots from Sirius' POV, let me know! :) **

**Chapter 27**

**Old Friends and New Starts**

**1 September 1993**

Catherine had to stifle a laugh when she stepped from the fireplace with Miranda and saw Rory coughing and wiping soot from his clothes. Rory and Owen had gone together, so as to make sure Rory got out at the right grate and apparently he hadn't taken the warning to keep his mouth closed seriously enough. Myra came back into the room with a glass of water just as Catherine and Miranda exited the fireplace and Rory took a large gulp.

"That was brilliant!" he exclaimed when he could speak again and Myra just laughed as Owen tugged Rory off to his room to look at Quidditch magazines. The three girls were a bit shyer and it took a few minutes before Anna and Alexis took Miranda by the hand to show her to their room.

Catherine sat at the kitchen table while Myra made tea. She brought the pot and cups out a few minutes later and sat down next to her friend.

"Four kids, I can't believe it," Catherine said smiling, as she took a sip of her tea.

"Well, it's just one more than you," Myra pointed out.

"Yes, well, suffice it to say that there is absolutely no way I could have done four. Three nearly did me in as it was," Catherine replied.

"At least we didn't try to outdo the Weasley's," Myra smirked.

"The Weasley's?" Catherine asked.

"Oh yes, they have seven," Myra replied. "Five of them are at Hogwarts now."

"Seven?" Catherine spluttered and Myra laughed.

"Yes, six boys and a girl, the youngest. She's in Ethan's year. There's a boy a year older and then a set of twins, I'm not sure what year they are exactly and another boy that I think might be a seventh year. The older two have graduated already. Ian knows the oldest, Bill. He works for Gringott's, but in Egypt. Ian's been there a few times, but he works for the branch here in England. You know I think I still have that Prophet with their picture in it." She got up from the table and rummaged through a stack of papers near the door. "Oh yes, here it is." She gave the paper to Catherine, who looked at the picture on the front page. Apparently Arthur Weasley had won some kind of drawing and taken his family to visit their oldest son Bill in Egypt with the winnings. The family of nine stood proudly in the desert, posing in front of one of the pyramids. Catherine noticed that the youngest boy had a rat on his shoulder. Something pinged in her brain, but as quickly as the thought came, it was gone. She shrugged and handed the paper back to Myra.

"You can't tell from the photo, but they've all got red hair," Myra said. "I didn't see them on the platform today though." She looked thoughtful for a moment and then shook her head. Catherine smiled and picked up her tea once again.

"I always knew you'd marry Ian," Catherine smirked over the rim of her cup. Myra smiled and looked up at a picture on the wall. Catherine followed her gaze and saw that it was a wedding photo.

"I wish you could have been there," Myra said wistfully.

"Me too," Catherine replied, taking her friend's hand and squeezing it. "You must have more pictures though."

"Oh, of course I do," Myra said, jumping up and going into the other room. She returned quickly with an album and gave it to Catherine. The first page was a group photograph and Catherine saw Sharon and Elena, as well as David and some other Hufflepuff friends of Ian's. She ran her hand over the faces of the friends that she hadn't seen for such a long time and felt tears gather in her eyes as they all waved back at her.

"What happened to all of them?" she asked quietly.

"Sean and Elena got married shortly after we did and then they moved to Spain. You know that Elena's family is from there," Myra said and Catherine nodded. "They have two girls, younger though, closer to Anna and Alexis' age. I hear from her a few times a year and they visit whenever back in England. Sharon married David, but only after they'd dated and broken up about ten times." Myra rolled her eyes and Catherine giggled. "They've got one boy, he's just five, but she's expecting again. We see them quite often. They both work at the Ministry. I'll have to have all of you over for dinner."

"Sounds fun," Catherine said taking a biscuit from the tray Myra had brought out from the kitchen.

"So," Myra said, fixing Catherine with a stare. "Where have you been the last fifteen years?" Catherine sighed and took another sip of tea.

"That's a long story," she said, not meeting Myra's gaze.

"I've got time," Myra replied, looking pointedly at her. Catherine nodded and began the tale she had told to Remus more than month ago. Myra listened intently, understanding and reassuring at all the right times.

"I wanted to write back to you so badly," Catherine said when she had reached the part of the story when Myra had sent the article from the Prophet. "But then Daniel woke up and I just panicked." She shook her head and looked forlornly into her tea cup. "I missed you so much." A few tears fell into the cup and Myra leaned forward and hugged her friend.

"I missed you too," she said. "I love Sharon, but she's no replacement for you." She smiled at Catherine as she pulled away and Catherine wiped her eyes quickly. She saw Myra looking at her hands and realized she was looking for a ring.

"You won't find one," Catherine said quietly, putting her hands in her lap self-consciously.

"What happened Catherine?" Myra asked and Catherine continued the story. When she began to recount what had happened when Daniel had taken the children, Myra rose from the table and began to pace, much as she had in their train compartment after Catherine had been accosted by Lancaster and Dewhurst, muttering under her breath the entire time.

"Please tell me you've had nothing more to do with him," Myra said coldly as Catherine finally finished her story.

"No, he's moved to the States and has had no further contact with the children," Catherine admitted. "I told him that I'd be willing to _consider_ letting him see them if he got help, but he refused. I still speak to his sister occasionally and from what she tells me, he's little more than a drunk."

"Good riddance," Myra stated firmly and Catherine looked up at her, a bit taken aback. "I mean, I'm sorry that the children had to lose their father, but for Merlin's sake, the way he acted. You'd think we all had the plague or something. Honestly." She rolled her eyes and Catherine laughed until tears were running down her cheeks.

"Oh, how I've missed you," Catherine said breathlessly as she finally brought herself under control. Myra grinned and sat back down, just as the three girls ran into the room.

"Mummy, we're hungry," one of the twins said, Catherine had no idea whether it was Anna or Alexis. Myra glanced up at the clock on the wall.

"Well, I'm not surprised, it's after lunchtime. I'm can't believe the boys haven't come beating down the door to the kitchen." she said. "You'll stay," she directed to Catherine and it wasn't a question.

"Of course," Catherine replied, then her eyes narrowed as she looked at the girls. All three had their hands over their mouths and they were giggling. "All right you lot, let's have it," she said, knowing something was happening that shouldn't be. The three girls looked at each other, then shrugged, before the other twin looked up at her mother.

"Owen's taken Rory flying," she said.

"What!?" Catherine exclaimed and she jumped up from the table, running to the door and flinging it open. She ran out into the yard, searching the sky, but couldn't see the boys anywhere. Myra and the girls had followed her from the house and Myra put a hand on Catherine's arm.

"It's fine Catherine, Ian cast wards on the meadow back there so the children can fly without being seen by the muggles around here," she said.

"That's not what I'm worried about Myra," Catherine retorted. "Rory's never been on a broom!"

"Oh," Myra said, clearly surprised by this information.

"I was married to a muggle, remember?" Catherine returned. "And I never liked to fly. It's not something I would have taught him."

"Oh dear, well, I suppose we'd better get back there then," she began to hurry around the back of the house. There was a path from the back garden that Myra set down, Catherine and the girls following. They had gotten a few yards from the house when the meadow came into view. Catherine looked up and saw the boys up in the air near the tree line. Her heart stopped when she realized just how high up they were. He would break his neck if he fell from there.

"Owen," Myra called out and Owen turned and waved to his mother.

"Rory Thomas, come down here this instant!" Catherine yelled and Rory startled on his broom. He turned and almost lost his balance, slipping and sliding as the handle of the broom jerked from side to side. Catherine gasped and brought a hand to her mouth, thinking he was going to fall, but Myra whipped out her wand and muttered something, slowing Rory's broom and allowing him to regain his seating. He slowly flew down to the ground, landing with a bit of grace, Catherine noticed, before she ran across the field and grabbed him by the arm.

"What on earth do you think you're doing?" she demanded as she shook him a little. "You could have been killed!"

"Mum, I'm fine," he protested.

"Oh really," she snapped. "You didn't look very fine to me just now. You would have fallen if Mrs. Cauldwell hadn't stopped you."

"Well, I wouldn't have lost my balance if you hadn't yelled at me," he retorted, arms crossed defiantly across his chest.

"Rory," Catherine began, but stopped when she felt a hand on her arm. Myra smiled at her before turning to her own son.

"Owen, did you know that Rory had never flown before?" Myra asked him and he looked guiltily at the ground.

"Yes, Mum," he mumbled.

"And what is the rule in this house if we have a guest who hasn't been on a broom?" she continued. Owen muttered something that Catherine couldn't make out. "What was that?" Myra prompted.

"We're supposed to ask for permission before we fly," he said a bit louder.

"I see. Catherine did the boys ask you for permission?" Myra said, smirking a bit at Catherine.

"No, they did not," Catherine replied, her anger beginning to lessen.

"Hm, they didn't ask me either," Myra said, her face puzzled. "And since your father isn't here, I'm not sure who you would have asked."

"We didn't ask," Owen admitted.

"Ah. Well then, what's the punishment for breaking the flying rule?" she asked.

"No brooms for a week," Owen said sullenly.

"Correct, and?" Myra continued. Owen huffed and then glared at his mother.

"One chore of your choice," he finished and Myra beamed at him.

"Excellent," she said, then turned to Catherine. "You know, I do have a vegetable garden that is in dire need of weeding. Do you think perhaps Rory would like to help Owen with that?"

"I think he'd be delighted," Catherine replied grinning. Rory glanced up sharply at this.

"But Mum," he began to protest, but quelled when he saw Catherine's glare.

"Don't push it young man," she threatened.

"Yes, Mum," he replied dutifully.

"Wonderful," Myra replied. "Let's all go back and get some lunch then, shall we?" And Myra turned and started back to the house, the girls skipping behind her. The boys were trudging behind Catherine and she paused until they reached her.

"Owen, why don't you go and help your mother with lunch," Catherine suggested. "I need to have a talk with Rory." Owen gave his new friend a sympathetic look and then hurried to catch up to his mother and the girls. Rory and Catherine walked in silence for a few seconds and then Catherine turned to Rory.

"Rory, what were you thinking?" she asked exasperatedly. He shrugged and looked at his shoes. "That's not an answer."

"I knew that if I asked you'd say no," he said sighing. "And I really wanted to fly. Owen told me I'm a natural." He looked proud of himself and Catherine mentally counted to ten before continuing.

"Rory, what you did wasn't safe," Catherine continued. "What if one of you had gotten hurt? We didn't even know where you were."

"Would you have let me if I'd asked?" Rory returned, looking up at her. Catherine opened her mouth and then closed it again. Truthfully, she probably would have said no had he asked her. "See? I knew you wouldn't let me. You never let me do anything fun like that."

"That's not true," Catherine protested.

"Yes it is Mum," he said. "You treat me like a baby and I'm not. I'm _nine_." Catherine looked at her son and realized what he said was true. She was overprotective, of all her children. She knew it had everything to do with the time that Daniel had taken them from her. She just couldn't bear it if anything happened to any of them. If she lost them again.

"I'm sorry Rory," Catherine said. "It's just, I never liked to fly and I saw people at school get hurt badly when they did stupid things on a broom because they were showing off instead of paying attention to what they were doing. I don't want anything to happen to you."

"I know Mum," Rory said, hugging her.

"How about a compromise?" she said and he cocked his head at her. "You can fly as long as there is an adult present." He smiled and she thought about what she had said. "A magical adult with a wand that can help you if something happens," she amended. He stood in silence for a moment, as if contemplating that and then grinned widely at her.

"Can I get a broom?" he asked and she chuckled, ruffling his hair.

"We'll see," she said and they made their way back into the house.

* * *

Lunch was rather noisy, not surprising with five children chattering away at the table. She and Myra sat smiling through most of it, listening to Owen and the twins telling Rory and Miranda all kinds of things about magic and Diagon Alley and Hogwarts.

"And Ethan says there's real ghosts," Alexis exclaimed, Catherine finally able to tell the two apart when she noticed that Alexis' hair was just a shade lighter than Anna's. Miranda looked at the other girl warily.

"Ghosts?" she asked, shivering a little.

"Uh-huh, but Ethan says they're all really nice. Well, except maybe the Bloody Baron, but he's not mean really, just grumpy." Miranda looked to her mother for confirmation of this fantastic sounding tale and Catherine just nodded as Miranda's eyes went wide.

"I hope I'm in Hufflepuff when I go," Anna said.

"How come?" Miranda asked.

"Because that's the house my daddy was in and he's the best person I know," Anna said, taking another bite of her sandwich. Myra smiled indulgently. Catherine pulled at a strand of her hair, wondering if the girls would ask Miranda about her own father, but Rory jumped into their conversation instead.

"Well, I want to be a Gryffindor," he declared and Catherine looked at him in surprise.

"Why Gryffindor?" Owen asked. "I thought your mum was in Ravenclaw like mine." Owen asked nothing about Rory's father, so perhaps the two had already discussed it.

"She was, but Remus was in Gryffindor and he told me all about it," Rory replied.

"Who's Remus?" Alexis asked and Myra looking questioningly at Catherine. Catherine shook her head slightly, letting Myra know they would talk about it later.

"He's my mum's friend," Rory responded. "They went to Hogwarts together." The children continued to talk while they ate their lunches and once they were finished, Myra shooed them all outside, sending Rory and Owen to the vegetable patch.

As the two women cleared away the dishes and Myra got them to washing themselves, she looked pointedly at Catherine.

"Remus?" she said and Catherine nodded.

"We ran into him in Diagon Alley when we were getting Ellie's things," Catherine explained. "I've had him over for dinner a few times since." Myra nodded and turned back to look out her kitchen window.

"I suppose he told you about Sirius then," she said quietly.

"Yes," Catherine replied.

"I debated you know, back all those years ago," Myra began. "The article about You-Know-Who's defeat came on of the first of November, and I sent that one off late that night. But the next day there was the one about Sirius and what happened. I almost sent that one too, but after my owl came back without anything from you I decided that there probably was no point." She turned and looked at Catherine.

"I can't believe that he did it," Catherine said. "I told Remus as much and he gave me all the facts and said it couldn't have been anyone else. But I just can't bring myself to believe that he would change sides like that. That he would lead Voldemort to an innocent baby. That he would betray his friends." She shook her head.

"It's only natural," Myra said. "You did love him."

"Still do," Catherine whispered and Myra's head whipped up to stare at her.

"Sorry?" Myra said.

"I still love him Myra," Catherine confessed. "I don't think I ever really stopped. Not even when I was with Daniel. And I've found out a few things since."

"What kind of things?" Myra wondered.

"That Sirius really didn't want to end things when he did. He did it because Celia Hargrove threatened me," Catherine began, but Myra interrupted.

"That bitch," she hissed and Catherine almost choked. "Well she is," Myra insisted.

"Is? You mean she's still alive and well?" Myra snorted.

"I don't know about well, but she's still alive yes. Rumor has it, her parents keep her warded in their manor, she's gone so mad," Myra explained.

"I thought she was supposed to marry Avery," Catherine said, clearly confused.

"Oh they're married," Myra said assuredly. "But she was too crazy, even for him, so he foisted her back on her parents after a few years. Something about her not being able to produce an heir." Catherine shuddered. "What else did you find out?"

"My father had a hand in forcing Sirius to break things off," Catherine continued. Myra looked at her quizzically. "He found the communication mirror I had and Sirius happened to be calling me at the time. He told Sirius that he was putting me in more danger by dating me, than if he just left me alone. Remus told me that he'd had Sirius convinced to continue with the original plan once I turned 17, but after Sirius talked to my father, he changed his mind."

"I'm sorry," Myra said. Catherine shrugged.

"Maybe that's why I can't bring myself to believe it," Catherine said. "I didn't see him those last couple of years before James and Lily were killed and Remus told me that he changed. That the war changed him."

"It changed all of us," Myra said quietly and Catherine nodded.

"But James was like his brother, Myra," Catherine protested. "He just wouldn't have done something like that to him, I know it. And Harry, I remember how upset Sirius was the first time he saw children that had been killed by Death Eaters. I _know_ that he wouldn't have sent a murderer after an innocent baby. There's got to be some other explanation."

"I don't know Catherine," Myra said shaking her head. "I couldn't believe it either, but the evidence they had. It just seems impossible there was any other way it could have happened." She took a deep breath and looked at her friend. "I've still got the article from the Prophet if you want to read it." Catherine swallowed thickly, but she nodded and Myra squeezed her arm as she left the kitchen.

Catherine moved to the table and sat down, not moving until Myra returned. She placed the paper in front of Catherine and then sat down next to her. Catherine read the entire thing, then read it again. She could see how easy it had been for everyone to believe that it had been Sirius that had been the traitor, the evidence was definitely convincing. But she still refused to believe that the man she knew, the man she loved, could have been capable of something like this. She pushed the paper back toward Myra when she had finished and put her face in her hands.

"I brought another one," Myra said quietly. "It's about his escape. I'll put it back if you don't want to see it." Catherine gathered herself and sat up straighter.

"No, let me see it," she said. Myra slid the paper across the table and Catherine gasped at the picture that looked back at her. Sirius was snarling and looked completely insane, his hair long and tangled, his eyes hard and unfeeling. "When was this taken?" she whispered.

"Shortly after he was sent to Azkaban," Myra replied. Catherine shook her head, tears pricking at her eyes. If that was how he looked right after he was taken to the prison, Catherine couldn't imagine what he looked like now after spending twelve years in the place. Myra had put a hand on her back and was gently rubbing it. Catherine let her head fall back into her hands and the tears flowed down her cheeks. The two sat that way until Catherine had recovered herself and then Myra cast a charm to hide Catherine's puffy eyes and blotchy skin.

"You'll have to teach me that one," Catherine laughed when she looked in a mirror afterward and saw her normal countenance looking back at her.

"Comes in very handy, believe me," Myra replied, grinning. "I think I used it at my wedding three or four times." The two laughed and Catherine closed the paper, glancing down at a notice on the back. It was a form to subscribe to the Prophet.

"Can I take this?" she asked Myra. Myra glanced at where Catherine was pointed and then pulled out her wand and cut the form from the page.

"There you are," Myra said smiling.

"Thanks," Catherine said, tucking it into her pocket. "I meant to take out a subscription while we were in Diagon Alley, but after I ran into Remus, I completely forgot." Myra smiled and the two then spent the rest of the afternoon catching up with each other.

"Goodness," Catherine said as she glanced at the clock in the kitchen. "It's almost five, we should really be going."

"Just stay a bit longer," Myra said. "Ian should be home in a few minutes and I haven't been able to shock him with anything since I told him we were having twins." Catherine laughed and nodded.

"All right," she agreed. Sure enough ten minutes later Catherine heard the unmistakable sound of apparition outside. The boys had long since finished their weeding chores and had closeted themselves back in Owen's room with his Quidditch magazines. The girls had flitted in and out with one game or another, but were currently ensconced in Anna and Alexis' room playing with their magical tea set. Myra ushered Catherine behind the kitchen door and then went into the entry to greet her husband.

"Hello sweetheart," he said and Catherine stifled a giggle at the endearment.

"Good day?" Myra asked and Ian made a noise of agreement.

"Everything go all right at the station?" Ian asked and Myra must have nodded for Catherine didn't hear any response. "Dinner ready yet? I thought I might take Owen for a fly. Figure he's missing his brother a bit by now."

"No, I haven't started on dinner actually, but you can't take Owen flying," Myra replied. "He's lost his broom privileges for a week."

"What did he do this time?" Ian inquired with a sigh. Myra chuckled.

"Broke the 'no flying with guests without permission' rule," she informed him.

"Guests?" Ian asked and Catherine peeked through the crack of the door and frame to see the confused frown on Ian's face. "But all of his friends are allowed to fly. Did he meet someone today at the station or something? Someone who's never flown before?"

"As a matter of fact, yes he did," Myra replied.

"Someone we knew from school?" Ian asked, clearly confused as to how a brand new friend would have been already at their house and flying with his son.

"Yes," Myra simply said. Ian huffed in annoyance.

"Well are you going to give me some kind of clue?" he asked.

"I'll do you one better," Myra said. "Come on out," she called. Catherine stepped around the kitchen door and out into the room and smiled. Ian stared at her for a minute, his brow furrowed and then his eyes opened wide and his jaw dropped.

"Catherine?" he said and Catherine nodded. He stared at her for another minute and then stepped forward and pulled her into a hug. Catherine was a bit startled, Ian had always been so shy and reserved at school. But she laughed as he squeezed her tighter and then pulled back with a grin on his face. "I can't believe it!"

"That seems to be the reaction I get from everyone who sees me," she teased.

"How, I mean where," he stopped, shaking his head as if to get control of his speech. "So you have a child a Hogwarts?"

"Yes, Ellie just started this year," Catherine explained. "I ran into Myra on the platform." She looked over and grinned at her friend.

"Not just the one then, I take it, since Owen was flying with someone," he said and before Catherine could reply she heard the pounding of footsteps on the stairs.

"Daddy!" the twins shrieked, as they each wrapped themselves around one of Ian's legs. He ruffled their hair and tweaked their noses as Miranda hung back near the stairwell. The boys weren't far behind, Owen grinning at his father as he entered the room. Catherine's heart twinged as she watched Rory and Miranda look longingly on the scene. Gathering herself, she gestured to her children who came immediately to her sides.

"Rory, Miranda, this is Mr. Cauldwell," she said and then looked up at Ian. "And these are the answer to your previous question." He chuckled and shook Rory's hand then squatted in front of Miranda.

"Very nice to meet you both," he said and Miranda hid her face in her mother's leg.

"Myra, we really should be going," Catherine said once the greetings were finished and Ian's children had gathered around him to tell him all about their day.

"Are you sure you won't stay to dinner?" she asked and Catherine shook her head.

"These two start school tomorrow, we'd better get home and get them all settled," Catherine replied.

"Oh, they go to a muggle school?" Myra asked and Catherine nodded. Myra looked thoughtful. "All right, but you'll come back, won't you?" she asked and Catherine nodded.

"I don't think you could keep me away," she said smiling.

"Remember what I said about taking your O.W.L.S.," Myra continued. "I want to help."

"Thank you," Catherine said, gripping her friend's hand. Once all the goodbyes were said, Catherine directed Rory back to the fireplace. She was a bit worried about letting him go on his own, he'd only done it the one time and that was with Owen. Myra seemed to sense this and she gestured to Ian, who offered to floo with Rory, while Catherine followed with Miranda. When Rory didn't protest, Catherine knew he had been concerned about being on his own as well.

"Keep your mouth closed this time," Catherine said with a wink and Rory nodded just before he and Ian disappeared. Catherine hugged Myra one last time, then stepped into the fireplace with Miranda. She called out for the Leaky Cauldron and the two of them spun away from Myra's smiling face once more.

* * *

Later that evening, Catherine was in the kitchen getting a glass of water before she went up to bed. Her mother and the children were already sleeping when there was a tap on the kitchen window. Catherine looked up from the sink to see Ellie's owl, Maia, hovering outside. She smiled and opened the window to let the owl in, taking the scroll from its leg.

"Wait a moment, all right?" she asked and the owl hooted softly, turning to sip from the bowl of water and eat the owl treat Catherine had put out for her. Catherine unrolled the parchment and smiled at the sight of her daughter's handwriting.

_Dear Mum, Grandma, Rory and Manda,_

_Hogwarts is brilliant! I have so much to tell you but it's late and I'm really tired, so I'll put that in a letter this weekend. For now, I'll say that I got sorted into Ravenclaw and so did Tess. There are two other girls as well and they seem nice enough. Tomorrow we have Charms, Herbology and Potions. I was hoping to see Remus, I mean Professor Lupin I guess I should call him now, but I have to wait until Monday for that. _

_There's just one more thing. Something funny happened while we were on the train. It stopped before we were to the school and all the lights went out. Then it got really, really cold and I felt like I was back with Dad when, well, you know. It only lasted for a couple of minutes and when the train started again, some of the older students came round and gave chocolate to everyone and then I felt better. Ethan said something about dementors, but I didn't really know what he was talking about. But then at the feast Professor Dumbledore told us that there would be dementors around the school because of someone named Sirius Black escaping from prison or something. I don't like them Mum, they make me feel all strange and dead inside. I hope they catch whoever it is they're looking for quickly, so they can leave. _

_I'll write another letter soon._

_Love and miss you,_

_Ellie_

Catherine had sunk down into a chair at the table when she began reading about the dementors around the school. How could Dumbledore allow such a thing? She shuddered to think that they had been on the train with her baby. And what Ellie said about feeling like she was back with her father made Catherine's anger surge. Looking back at the owl, she decided to write not one, but two responses.

Ellie's she kept light, congratulated her on getting into Ravenclaw and told her not to worry too much about the dementors, just to follow the rules the teachers set down and she would be fine. Then she penned a quick note to Remus.

_Remus,_

_I've just gotten a note from Ellie and she said there were dementors around the school. What in Merlin's name is going on? How can Dumbledore allow those things around children? Ellie started to relive _those _times with her father on the train. I can't let that happen Remus. She can't go through all that again. Please tell me I have nothing to worry about._

_Love, Catherine_

She tied both notes to Maia, one on each leg, and sent her off with instructions to deliver Ellie's in the morning, but Remus' as soon as possible. She felt a bit guilty about bothering Remus, he was still recovering from the full moon, but she just couldn't bear thinking of Ellie suffering through all of those memories again. It took so long to pull her back the first time.

She didn't expect to hear anything back from Remus until the morning. It was an awfully long way to Scotland after all. She headed up to bed knowing that it was going to be a long night.

* * *

**2 September 1993**

Catherine dragged herself out of bed the next morning, exhausted from the dreams that had plagued her sleep. She had woken numerous times, sure that there was a dementor in her bedroom or somewhere else in the house. She had checked on Rory and Miranda more times that she could count.

She went downstairs yawning and saw an unfamiliar owl sitting on the open windowsill of the kitchen. Her mother was currently cooking breakfast and glanced back as Catherine walked into the room.

"I think that," her mother said, pointing at the owl with her spatula, "has a message for you. Nasty thing wouldn't let me take it off of him." She glared at the owl while Catherine stifled a giggle. Jane turned her glare on her daughter and Catherine couldn't help but laugh out loud.

"Sorry Mum, some of them are a bit particular," she said. She approached the owl, which held out his leg as if bored and after Catherine had taken the letter, she broke off a bit of bacon that her mother had just put onto a plate and gave it to him. "Wait, please," she said and the owl simply stared at her, but didn't move. Catherine unrolled the parchment and saw that it was from Remus.

_Catherine,_

_I have to agree with you about the dementors, but it seems that Minister Fudge didn't give Albus much of a choice. The dementors are not allowed on the school grounds, they must stay outside the gates and they have orders only to go after Sirius and no one else. Since Ellie isn't old enough to go into Hogsmeade, I wouldn't worry about it too much. They are far enough away that they don't seem to be causing the students any harm. I can sense their presence, but I've had no ill effects, so I'm sure she'll be fine. _

_The incident on the train was not supposed to happen and it's a good thing I was there. They affected Harry awfully, he actually fainted. If I hadn't been in his compartment with him, I'm not sure what would have happened. I've so much to tell you about him, but I'll save that for another time when I'm more rested._

_I'll send this along with one of the school owls as Ellie's looks a bit peaked. Try not to worry, we'll talk soon._

_Love, Remus_

Catherine sighed as she finished the letter, tapping the parchment against the table.

"Bad news?" Jane asked, scooping eggs and bacon onto plates and bringing them to the table.

"Not really, I guess," Catherine said and then handed both Ellie's letter and Remus' to her mother. Catherine then waved the owl off and he flew out the window. Her mother smiled when she saw that Ellie had been sorted into Ravenclaw and then frowned at her description of the dementors. After she had finished Remus' note, she looked up at her daughter.

"Dementors?" she asked. Catherine proceeded to explain what they were and her mother visibly shuddered at her description. "Well Remus doesn't seem to think there's much of an issue," Jane said and then set the letters down before going to the stairs and calling for Rory and Miranda.

"I guess not," Catherine agreed as her mother came back into the kitchen. "I just don't want Ellie to have to be thinking about that, again." Her mother came up behind the chair Catherine sat in and wrapped her arms around her daughter's neck, leaning forward and hugging her.

"She'll be fine," Jane said. "She's stronger than you think."

"I know Mum," Catherine said, giving one of her mother's arms a squeeze. Rory and Miranda came into the kitchen and Jane stood and began to dish up their plates. "All ready for school?" Catherine asked and Miranda nodded while beginning to eat her breakfast.

"Mm-hm," Rory said around a mouthful of eggs before his mother gave him a pointed look.

"We got a letter from Ellie last night," Catherine informed them.

"What house is she in?" Rory asked between bites.

"Ravenclaw," Catherine said smugly. Rory nodded as if this was what he had expected all along.

"I'm still going to be a Gryffindor," he said and Catherine chuckled. She ruffled his hair as she stood.

"Well, I'm off to get dressed," she said. "I'll be back in a few minutes to take the two of you to school."

"Okay, Mummy," Miranda replied and Rory nodded his assent while continuing to shovel food into his mouth. Catherine just shook her head in amusement and mounted the stairs to ready herself for the day.

* * *

After delivering the children to school, Catherine drove home deep in thought. Everything that had happened over these last weeks weighed heavily on her mind. Her thoughts again drifted to Sirius and she wondered just where he was and how, exactly, he had escaped. According to Remus and Professor Flitwick, since the dementors had taken over guarding the prison no one had ever been able to escape. There had been attempts, of course. Some wizards were rather skilled at wandless magic. But they were always caught before they could even make it out of the wing they were housed in and their cells then rewarded to prevent any kind of magic from being used at all.

She had never seen a dementor anywhere besides a textbook and just the picture of one made her shudder. And by all accounts, anyone who spent any significant period of time near them would go mad eventually. Sirius had been exposed to them for twelve years. Certainly he couldn't still be sane. A lone tear made its way down Catherine's cheek as she thought of what he had probably been reduced to after all this time.

Pulling herself from her reverie, Catherine realized she had taken a wrong turn somewhere and driven down the street she had once lived on with Daniel. She pulled up in front of the house they had shared and sighed deeply. She had so many happy memories of this house, horrible ones too, of course, but it sometimes still amazed her to think how it had all gone wrong in such a short time. She sat lost in her thoughts for a few minutes before mentally shaking herself and pulling away towards home.

Her task now was to decide what exactly she wanted to do and where she wanted to go with her life. She had yet to give the publisher she worked for an answer to their full-time job offer, but she needed to by the middle of next week. The money would certainly be welcome, although that was less of a concern than it had been since she had been to Gringott's. And she did want to take her O.W.L.S. soon and that would require many hours of study. Still, she couldn't completely stop working.

The more she thought about it, the surer she was that she would decline the publishing company's offer. She would still be willing to work part-time, from home, if they needed her, but Catherine decided that it was time she immersed herself fully into the magical world. She wanted not only her children to be confident in their knowledge of magic, but herself as well. She had the wards around the house now, yes, but she had no intention of shuttering everyone away inside. She needed to be sure that she could protect her family, have an escape route if necessary. Pulling into the driveway, Catherine decided that the next day she would pay a visit to the Ministry of Magic. Not only did she need to investigate how and when she could take her tests, but she intended to get her house put on the floo network as well. Catherine stayed at home just long enough to make sure that her mother would be able to pick the children up from school. She then climbed back into her car to drive into London. She would need to get to Diagon Alley to send an owl to Myra.


	28. The Ministry and Dementors

**A/N - Hello everyone! Please be sure to mind the dates, as there will be significant jumps in time now. There are only a few chapters left of this story, however, there will be a sequel which I have already started writing. I am following the canon timeline, so dates of events that occurred during POA I've gotten from the HP Lexicon. Thanks to all who have been reading and especially those that review! I love hearing your thoughts! :) **

**Chapter 28**

**The Ministry and Dementors**

**3 September 1993**

Catherine stepped into the telephone box that Myra had described in her letter. She spoke into the receiver and pinned the badge that came out of the coin slot on the front of her robes as the box began to sink into the ground. Catherine's stomach was rolling a bit, not from the ride, but nervousness about seeing Sharon again. Once Catherine had owled Myra of her plans, Myra had contacted their friend and Sharon had insisted on meeting Catherine and helping her find the necessary offices to complete her tasks. Sharon had sent Catherine an owl telling her she would meet her in front of the fountain in the Atrium. As Catherine stepped from the box, she looked up in awe at the large hall she found herself in. Fireplaces lined either side and they were all busy with the whooshing noise of floo-travel. Catherine could see the fountain at the end of the hall and began to walk towards it.

She saw Sharon before she reached the fountain and her friend began to move towards her as quickly as her rather large belly would allow. Catherine smiled as they reached each other, then hugged Sharon tightly. There were tears in both their eyes as they pulled back from each other.

"It's so good to see you," Sharon said, her mouth quivering a bit.

"And you," Catherine replied, giving her friend a smile. "You look wonderful."

"I do not, I'm huge as a hippogriff," Sharon huffed. Catherine chuckled.

"When are you actually due?" she asked. "Myra never said."

"Not soon enough, as far as I'm concerned," Sharon said, turning and directing Catherine toward the line to check her wand. "But, mid-November the healer says. It's a girl," she smiled and rubbed a hand over her belly.

"Congratulations," Catherine exclaimed, putting her arm around Sharon's shoulders and giving her a squeeze.

"It will be nice to have one of each," Sharon said. "Especially since we're finished after this one. I can't even imagine having three or four like you and Myra." She shook her head. "Jack is enough of a handful as it is, I'm not even sure about two." Catherine laughed again and then gave her wand to the security wizard at the wand weighing desk. When he had handed it back to her, Sharon guided her to the lifts.

"We'll go to the Department of Magical Education first," she explained as they stepped into the lift. "Then we'll see about getting you hooked up to the floo." When they reached the floor that housed the education department, Sharon pulled her across the hall to the Wizarding Examination Authority. They stepped inside and were greeted by a young witch.

"Hello, how can I help you?" she asked, smiling.

"I need some information about taking O.W.L.S," Catherine said.

"Of course," the woman replied. "Do you homeschool then?"

"Sorry?" Catherine said, confused.

"Your children, do you homeschool?" the witch repeated.

"Oh, um, no," Catherine said hesitantly, still confused as to what she was asking. The younger woman looked at her in puzzlement.

"Well, if you don't homeschool, then wouldn't your children take their O.W.L.S. at Hogwarts, or whichever school they attend?" she asked.

"Oh," Catherine said, realization finally dawning. "It's not for my children, it's for me." The girl looked at her, mouth gaping for a moment, before she seemed to gather herself.

"Oh, well, of course," she said, somewhat flustered still Catherine could see. "Let me just find the information." She was fumbling through a pile of papers on her desk when the door behind her opened and a very elderly witch emerged.

"Constance, I need the papers on the Jeffries boy's exams," she said shortly.

"Yes, Ms. Marchbanks, just one moment, ma'am," Constance replied, still searching through the pile on her desk. Ms. Marchbanks looked up and noticed Sharon and Catherine.

"Ah, Sharon, how lovely to see you," she said smiling.

"Hello Griselda," Sharon replied.

"And who's this?" Ms. Marchbanks asked, turning to Catherine. "I don't remember testing you, my dear."

"This is Catherine," Sharon trailed off, her brow furrowing and Catherine realized that Sharon had no idea what last name she went by.

"Powell," Catherine said, extending her hand. She had gone back to her maiden name and changed the children's as well, once it had become apparent that Daniel had abandoned them all. "Catherine Powell. Pleased to meet you." The older woman shook Catherine's hand and continued to look at her curiously. "And you wouldn't have tested me ma'am. I left Hogwarts in my fifth year, a few months before the O.W.L. tests." Ms. Marchbanks still looked at her in expectation and Catherine bit back a sigh. "It's a very long story," she continued. "But, I'm actually here to check into taking the tests now."

"Ah, wonderful," Griselda said with a smile. "Constance, I'll take care of this, you just find those exams."

"Yes, ma'am," Constance said, turning from her desk to a filing cabinet behind her.

"Come," Griselda said, ushering them into her office. She indicated the two chairs which sat in front of her desk and both Sharon and Catherine sat down. "Now, since there are some parents that still prefer to teach their children at home, we normally offer the tests here at the Ministry twice a year, at the beginning of December and the end of May. Would either of these be a possibility?" Catherine's brow furrowed. She certainly didn't want to wait until May, but December was only three months away and she was unsure if she would be prepared for all of them by then.

"Griselda," Sharon said. "Is it possible to take the tests at two different times?"

"What do you mean?" Griselda asked.

"Ms. Marchbanks, I," Catherine began, but Griselda held up her hand.

"Griselda, please," she said and Catherine smiled.

"Griselda then," she continued. "I have a daughter at Hogwarts, but two children still at home and I work part-time. I would really like to try for the December date, but I haven't done much magic for fifteen years and I've certainly not studied anything in that time. Is it possible, if I feel I'm not ready, to take some of the tests in December and finish the remaining ones in May?" Griselda leaned back in her chair and steepled her fingers together under her chin, clearly deep in thought.

"You know, Catherine, it seems to me that you are a special case," she finally said. "We do not see adults here wanting to take their O.W.L.S. May I ask what, exactly, that long story entails?" Catherine looked at Sharon again and took a deep breath. She really did not want to get into this today, but it seemed as if she might not have much of a choice. Giving Ms. Marchbanks a very broad overview, Catherine explained what had caused her to leave Hogwarts in the first place and her subsequent marriage and then divorce. She finished with Ellie's Hogwarts letter and her desire to reenter the magical world. All in all, the story only took a little over fifteen minutes, so it was a very condensed version, but Sharon stared at her in shock at that end of it all the same. Ms. Marchbanks tut-tutted in response to Catherine's story about the attack and muttered something under her breath about ridiculous pureblood ideals which caused Catherine to hold back a grin.

"And do you have a career in mind?" Griselda asked.

"Actually, I always thought about being a healer," Catherine admitted. "It's something that still interests me greatly." Griselda nodded thoughtfully.

"So, Potions, Charms, Transfiguration, Herbology and Defense Against the Dark Arts then," the older witch said. "Do you think that you might be ready by the end of January?" Catherine pursed her lips in thought.

"I suppose that would be possible," she agreed.

"Then I would agree to give you your tests personally," Griselda continued and Catherine looked up at her in shock. "It would have to be over the course of a week, of course, the tests are too long and grueling to push into a day or two. But, I think we can work something out." She smiled at Catherine, who grinned back.

"Thank you so much," she said and Griselda just waved a hand.

"It's not a problem, my dear," she said. "I applaud you for wanting to continue with your education, even after all this time." She stood and Catherine and Sharon followed suit. "Now," she said as she led them from her office. "Be sure to stay in contact and we'll set up your schedule after Christmas."

"Thank you again," Catherine said as they reached the reception area.

"You're very welcome," Griselda replied, then turned to her secretary. "Constance," she barked. "Where are those exams?"

Sharon and Catherine left the office and walked back toward the lifts. Sharon was quiet and Catherine worried that perhaps she had disappointed her friend somehow. Sharon had known about the attack, of course, but she hadn't had a chance to inform her of anything that had happened afterward and she had no idea about Sirius, which Catherine had conveniently left out of her story to Ms. Marchbanks. Catherine knew Myra would not have betrayed her confidence either, even after all this time.

"Sharon," Catherine said tentatively once they had gotten on the lift.

"Sorry," Sharon said, shaking her head as if to clear it. "Catherine, I'm so sorry, I had no idea you'd gone through all that. Myra told me you were divorced, but I didn't know it was because of magic." Catherine shrugged her shoulders.

"It's all been such a long time ago, I don't really even think about it much anymore," she said quietly. Sharon reached over and took her hand, giving it a squeeze and as the doors of the lift opened, the two smiled at each other.

"I'll tell you all the gory details sometime," Catherine said and Sharon laughed.

"Come on," she said, leading the way to the floo network office. Catherine filled out the necessary paperwork, naming her house Chestnut Hill after their street. She figured it would be easier for the children to remember that way. The woman behind the desk told her she would be notified of her acceptance within three days and the two friends left the office once more.

"How about lunch?" Sharon asked and Catherine nodded. As they ate, Catherine discovered that David worked for the Committee on Experimental Charms and Sharon the Magical Law Office. Catherine told Sharon her story in a bit more detail, although still did not mention Sirius. She wasn't sure how Sharon would take it, now that he had escaped from prison.

"I should probably get back to work," Sharon sighed eventually. She stood and hugged Catherine again. "It was lovely to see you. We must get together again."

"I think Myra is planning something at her house," Catherine replied smiling.

"Of course she is," Sharon said, shaking her head. "That woman loves to entertain." They both chuckled and then walked back to the Atrium. Catherine glanced at her watch and saw that she still had almost two hours before the children were home from school.

"You know, I think I'm going to floo to the Leaky Cauldron," she said to Sharon as they stopped by the fountain. "I want to pick up a few books that I didn't grab when I was there with Ellie."

"All right," Sharon said and walked her to the fireplaces. "If you need any help with anything, let us know."

"I will, thanks Sharon," Catherine replied and stepped into the floo, calling out for the Leaky Cauldron as she did so.

* * *

An hour later, Catherine was waiting for the Tube, a shrunken bag of books in her pocket and a smile on her face. She had stopped in Flourish and Blotts to pick up a few more fifth year texts that she thought she might need and when she had gone to pay for her purchases, she saw a small help wanted sign on the counter. She had walked out with not only her bag of books, but a part-time job as well. The manager of the bookstore hadn't minded that she never finished school and was very encouraging when she told him she was intending on taking her O.W.L.S. early the following year.

"Feel free to bring your studies with you to work," he had said. "As long as there are no customers, I have no problem with you doing some reading." Catherine couldn't help but feel that her life was finally on the track it should be.

* * *

**1 November 1993**

The first two months of the school year had passed by so quickly, Catherine couldn't believe that it was already November. She still missed Ellie awfully, but her daughter's frequent letters and even a few conversations through the floo in Remus' office helped immensely. Catherine had also had quite a few talks with Remus and her friend had stepped through more than once to help her with a particularly difficult defense spell and enjoy a bit of conversation.

Myra had had them all to dinner, including her mother, twice now and Catherine had hosted as well. Catherine's mother and Myra's mother had renewed their friendship and Fiona was in the floo almost as much as Myra was. Sean and Elena had promised to come after Christmas and Myra had planned a New Year's Eve party at her house in honor of the occasion. Catherine was hoping she could convince Remus to come with her.

Her studies were going well and Catherine couldn't believe how quickly things were coming back to her. Being able to access any book she needed at work was especially helpful. She loved the bookstore and everyone else on the staff was very pleasant and helpful. She currently worked three mornings a week, going in after she had gotten the children off to school. She still worked for the publishing house from time to time and had her tailoring work with the neighbors as well. She hadn't heard much about Sirius, although there were a few sightings in the Prophet now and again. Remus had heard nothing more either and Catherine wondered, not for the first time, if Sirius just intended to disappear altogether.

She was in the kitchen preparing dinner while Rory sat at the table doing his homework when there was a tap on the window. Rory looked up and smiled when he saw Maia flutter in once Catherine had opened the window. Catherine took the letter from the bird, as Maia sat down on the perch Catherine had purchased one day after work. The owl always waited for Catherine to respond to Ellie's latest missive.

"Want to read this one?" Catherine asked, handing the scroll to Rory, knowing it would be about the Halloween feast. "I've got to finish making dinner."

"Sure Mum," Rory said and unrolled the parchment and began to read aloud.

_Dear Mum, Grandma, Rory and Manda,_

_Last night was the Halloween feast which was brilliant! Hagrid carved these giant pumpkins that Tess and I could have sat inside together! And there were bats, which honestly, I wasn't too sure about, but they must have been charmed because they all stayed up near the ceiling and didn't bother any of us. And the food! Tess and I ate way, way too much and Rory and Manda, you wouldn't have believed all the sweets that were there. I can't even remember them all there were so many. Next time we go to Diagon Alley we have to go to the sweets shop so I can show you everything. Magical sweets are amazing! After dinner all the ghosts in the castle came and did a little show for us. I didn't even realize how many there were, but it was fun to see them all in one place._

_But when we were heading back to our dorms, something happened. Sirius Black got into the castle somehow and he tried to get into Gryffindor tower. They have a portrait that guards their door and she wouldn't let him in, so he slashed her to bits! All of the professors made us go back into the Great Hall and we all had to sleep there while they searched the castle. They didn't find him, but we stayed there all night anyway. Some people were saying that he was looking for Harry Potter and I thought I heard someone say that Sirius wanted to kill him. Why would he want to do that? Harry's just a kid._

_Remus, I mean, Professor Lupin, says we shouldn't worry, but I want to know how Sirius Black got in past all those dementors. Tess, Ethan, Will and I have been talking about it and it doesn't make sense unless he's been hiding out in the castle somewhere the whole time. But then, if it's Harry he wants, why did he wait so long to try and get to him? The whole thing just doesn't make sense. _

_Well, I better send this off with Maia so you get it before bedtime. Miss you all!_

_Love, Ellie_

"Ellie's so lucky! All those sweets! And those pumpkins, I wish I could have seen those," Rory groaned and shook his head. Why did his sister have to be the oldest? He reread through the letter again, because truthfully, he hadn't taken in a word after Ellie had described the feast. He didn't notice that his mother hadn't responded. "Who's Sirius Black?" he asked when he finished the letter for the second time. "Mum?" Rory continued when his mother didn't answer. He turned toward where she stood near the sink. Her face was pale and her eyes were wide, but Rory didn't think that she was really looking at anything.

"Mum?" he said again, a bit more fearfully now, but his mother stood without moving, as if she had turned to stone. She still held the large knife in her hand that she had been using to chop the vegetables and Rory was afraid of startling her, lest she cut herself or him. He looked at her for one more second, then turned and ran into the lounge to get his grandmother.

Moments later, Jane entered the kitchen, Rory close at her heels. He gave her the letter and she scanned it quickly, mouth tightening as she finished.

"Rory, go and tell Miranda all about the feast, all right?" she said quietly to her grandson. "But stay in the lounge and don't tell her anything else that Ellie wrote about. I'll come and get you in a few minutes."

"But Grandma, what," Rory began, but Jane held up a hand to stop him and he closed his mouth, biting his lip. "Okay, Gram."

"Thank you sweetheart," she said, kissing the top of his head as he left. She turned toward Catherine who still stood with the knife hovering over the cutting board. "Catherine," Jane said quietly, as she moved toward her. "Catherine," she said again and slowly put her hand around her daughter's forearm, well away from the blade of the knife. Catherine flinched when Jane touched her and then seemed to come back to herself.

"Mum?" Catherine asked, as if confused as to why her mother was in the kitchen. Jane released the breath she didn't realize she'd been holding and closed her eyes briefly.

"Catherine," her mother said, looking at her daughter's pale face. "Come and sit down." Catherine let herself be led to a chair at the kitchen table and didn't protest when her mother slipped the knife from her hand. Catherine found a glass of water in front of her, but she ignored it as her mother sat down. "Are you all right?" the older woman asked.

"Yes," Catherine replied, sighing and putting her face in her hands. "I just, I don't understand." She looked back up at her mother. Jane patted her daughter's hand and then grasped it in her own.

"Perhaps you should firecall Remus after the children are in bed," Jane suggested. Catherine nodded absent-mindedly. "Let me finish dinner." Jane began to stand, but Catherine pulled on her arm.

"No, Mum, let me do it," she said. "Can you take Rory's things to him and help him finish?" Jane looked at her worriedly, but Catherine managed a smile. "I just need a few minutes to gather myself."

"All right dear," her mother agreed and gathered up Rory's papers before she left the kitchen. Catherine sighed and put her head back in her hands for a moment. She didn't understand why on earth Sirius had been in the castle. She could not believe that he would be after Harry. But why had he been trying to get into the Gryffindor common room? Catherine shook her head and went back to finish chopping the vegetables. There had to be another explanation, there just had to be.

As she chopped, something began poking at the edge of her mind, but just as it had all those years ago when she had been trying to figure out what the Marauders had to do with the full moon, every time she tried to grasp the thought, it flew from her. Huffing in annoyance, Catherine finished the dinner and put it into the oven. Her mother was right, maybe if she talked to Remus the thought would come back to her.

* * *

Later that evening as she lay in bed, Catherine was even more frustrated. Her talk with Remus, who had decided to actually step through the floo and talk to Catherine in person, had yielded nothing. And the errant thoughts from earlier seemed to have vanished all together. Remus assured her that Ellie was fine and that the students were safe. In all honesty, he had looked rather defeated about the whole thing and when Catherine once again insisted that there must be some other explanation for why Sirius was trying to get into Gryffindor tower, Remus had just sighed tiredly.

"What?" Catherine had asked irritation clear in her voice. Remus had shaken his head and said nothing. "Remus," Catherine continued more softly.

"I know what you believe Catherine and why you do, but I just can't," he broke off, sighing again and rubbed the back of his neck. "I just can't keep doing this. Keep getting my hopes up that everyone was wrong about what Sirius did and then have him do something so incredibly stupid which forces me to think that everyone was right in the first place."

"They're not," Catherine insisted and Remus looked at her in resignation.

"I know that I'm not going to ever convince you that they are, but Catherine, what the hell else would he be doing?" Remus asked.

"You honestly believe he would hurt Harry?" she demanded. "An innocent child? His godson?" Remus flinched at the last. He'd revealed the fact that Sirius was Harry's godfather in one of the talks they'd had shortly after the start of the year. Remus was happy to be able to get to know Harry and often went on like a proud father about just how wonderful the boy was. He was equally complimentary about Harry's two best friends, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger. Catherine remembered Ron from the picture in the Prophet Myra had showed her of the entire Weasley family. And it seemed Hermione reminded Remus very much of Catherine herself and Catherine had to admit that some of the things Remus said about the girl made her realize he was right.

There was concern too, of course. He felt Harry was entirely too thin and pale and there was something else, something that Remus couldn't quite put his finger on, but he felt it had something to do with Harry's muggle relatives.. But Catherine knew that Remus was overjoyed to be able to have this chance regardless.

"I can honestly tell you that I don't know what, exactly, Sirius is capable of," Remus had said. "But I'm not going to start that argument with you again." Catherine had sighed and sunk down onto the couch next to Remus, resting her head on his shoulder. He slid an arm around her waist and gave her a slight squeeze.

"Can we call a truce?" she asked quietly and he chuckled.

"Perhaps this is a topic we should avoid for the time being, hm?" he said and she nodded against his shoulder. They'd spoken for a few more minutes and then Remus had returned to his office, pleading exhaustion as the teachers had all been up most of the night on Halloween.

And now, Catherine kept trying to turn her brain back to her thoughts in the kitchen, but to no avail. Realizing that it did no good to continue to dwell on something which so obviously intended to keep itself buried for the time being, Catherine flopped onto her side and slowly drifted off to sleep.

* * *

**6 November 1993**

Catherine was just getting ready to go into the kitchen to make lunch when the floo flared to life behind her. She turned, curiously, and saw the face of Professor Flitwick staring up at her.

"Professor?" she said, her brows furrowing.

"Ah Catherine, I'm glad to have caught you," he said.

"Is something wrong?" she asked, nervous now.

"Well, there was an incident today at the Quidditch match," he began and Catherine looked at him in confusion. What would a Quidditch match have to do with her?

"It seems that the congregation of so many people drew the dementors closer to the grounds than they were supposed to be," he continued and Catherine felt her heart clench. "No one was hurt," he assured her quickly. "But some of the students were affected."

"Ellie," she whispered and he sighed.

"Unfortunately, yes," he replied. "Physically, she is just fine, but Madame Pomfrey felt that perhaps a short visit from you would help."

"Yes, yes of course," Catherine said, her mind whirling with worry for her daughter. "Let me just, that is," she broke off, trying to hold the tears at bay.

"Catherine," a voice behind her said and Catherine turned to see her mother standing behind her. Her own eyes were full of worry, but she held her arms out to her daughter just the same and Catherine stepped quickly into her embrace. Catherine drew on her mother's strength and took a deep breath, settling herself before turning back to the fireplace.

"I'm afraid it might take me a bit to get there, Professor," Catherine said apologetically. I'll have to floo to the Three Broomsticks and walk up from there."

"Nonsense," Professor Flitwick responded. "Just give me a moment to adjust the wards on the fireplace here and you can step through." He pulled back and Catherine waited, tapping her foot nervously, her finger twining around a lock of hair. Professor Flitwick was back quickly and announced she could now come through. With one last look at her mother, Catherine threw the floo powder into the fireplace, calling out Professor Flitwick's office.

* * *

Once Catherine had arrived in his office, the two hurriedly made their way to the hospital wing. Pushing open the doors, Professor Flitwick led Catherine to one of the beds where Ellie sat. Out of the corner of her eye, Catherine noticed a boy with black hair on one of the other beds, a red-headed boy and a girl with rather bushy brown hair sitting next to him. She ignored them for the moment and focused on her daughter. Ellie's head hung, her long blonde hair hiding her face as she picked at her fingernails. At the sound of footsteps, she looked up and Catherine saw how very pale and tear-streaked her face was.

"Ellie," she said quietly as she approached the bed and sat down. Ellie's lip began to tremble and then she threw herself into her mother's arms. Professor Flitwick patted Catherine's knee and then withdrew, pulling a screen around the bed as he did so to give them some privacy. Catherine rocked Ellie as she cried, murmuring to her and stroking her hair. When her daughter had finally quieted, Catherine pulled back from her and put a hand to her cheek, wiping away the tears that were there.

"What happened?" she asked.

"I went to the Quidditch match," Ellie began. "I didn't really want to, the weather is horrible outside, but Tess insisted that I had to see the first match of the year and Ethan said that the teacher's put a charm on the stands when it's this bad out so you don't get wet. And one of the older kids in our dorm put weather-repelling spells on all of us before we walked down to the pitch." Catherine smiled, remembering using that same spell on herself more than once while she watched Sirius play.

"And everything was fine at first, although you really couldn't see a whole lot with the weather. But then, it got really cold, like it did on the train and when I looked up, I could see those things drifting down towards the stadium. I tried to point it out to everyone else, but it was like I was frozen. They kept getting closer and closer and then all I could see was Dad's face and he looked so scary and horrible and then he kept saying these awful, terrible things and I," Ellie's voice hitched and she once again began to cry. Catherine pulled her close once more, her own tears threatening to spill over.

"It's all right," she kept saying as she smoothed Ellie's hair and kissed the top of her head. "You're safe now and it was all in your mind. It wasn't real sweetheart, it wasn't real." Eventually, Ellie's cries subsided and as Catherine continued to hold and rock her, she felt the girl go limp against her. Catherine realized she had fallen asleep.

She laid her daughter gently down on the bed and then smoothed the hair back from her face. She pulled the covers up over her and then sat next to her for a few moments, just drinking her in. There was a slight noise at the screen and Madame Pomfrey poked her head inside.

"Catherine," Madame Pomfrey said with a smile. "It's so wonderful to see you again. I do wish it was under more pleasant circumstances however." The matron's mouth tightened into a thin line. She motioned Catherine away from the bed and led the other woman into her office.

"How is she?" Catherine asked immediately and the medi-witch smiled.

"She's perfectly fine," Madame Pomfrey assured her. "Some chocolate and a bit of rest and she'll be right as rain." Catherine nodded as the older woman's face turned pensive.

"You're wondering why she was affected so badly," Catherine stated and Madame Pomfrey looked up at her.

"Well, there were many students with her and while they were all affected to a degree, your daughter and Mr. Potter were the only ones who actually fainted," the matron admitted. Catherine suddenly realized that it must have been Harry in the other bed, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger with him. Something pinged in Catherine's brain when Ron's name went through her head, but she had no idea what it meant. She turned her attention back to Madame Pomfrey.

"Of course, with Mr. Potter, it's not so difficult to figure out why the dementors affect him as they do, poor child. Ellie, however," the medi-witch trailed off and looked at Catherine expectantly. Catherine sighed and rubbed her forehead with her hand. "Of course, you do realize that nothing you tell me will leave this room," Madame Pomfrey continued and Catherine nodded.

"Yes, I know that," Catherine said. She proceeded to explain to the older woman what had occurred with Ellie and her father all those years ago. "She's never really dealt with it directly," Catherine admitted when she had finished her explanation. "I thought about taking her to therapy, but I didn't want her to have to lie about the whole magic aspect and at the time I wasn't in a place to try and contact St. Mungo's or anyone else about a mind healer. I didn't even think of it to be perfectly honest. My mother and I helped her the best we could." Catherine shrugged. Madame Pomfrey leaned forward and put a hand on Catherine's arm. "Most of the time I feel like I failed them," Catherine whispered quietly and she was surprised to find herself wrapped in Madame Pomfrey's embrace.

"You did wonderfully," Madame Pomfrey assured her. "By all accounts she has adjusted well here and seems to be doing just fine in all her classes."

"Yes, but her reaction," Catherine began to protest as she drew back from the medi-witch.

"Would probably still have occurred even if she had completely come to grips with what had happened to her," Madame Pomfrey assured her. "You know what dementors do Catherine. Those memories would have still been there regardless." Catherine sighed again.

"I know that you're right," she said. "It just doesn't make it any easier."

"No it doesn't," Madame Pomfrey agreed. She looked at Catherine for a moment, as if she were going to ask her something, but then she shook her head and turned back to her desk. Catherine had the distinct feeling that whatever it was would have been about Sirius.

"Well," the medi-witch continued, back to her usual, no-nonsense self. "As I said, she should be fine and the headmaster has given the Minister an earful about this dementor situation. Dementors around a school full of children, honestly," she fumed and Catherine had to grin a bit at the thought of Madame Pomfrey giving Cornelius Fudge a piece of her mind. Truthfully, Catherine would like to do the same. "Now, what about you?"

"What about me?" Catherine responded, looking puzzled.

"Well, you've told me about your ex-husband and your children," Madame Pomfrey continued. "What about you? What are you doing now?"

"That's actually a very good question," Catherine said smiling. She proceeded to tell the medi-witch about her trip to the Ministry and her plans to take her O.W.L.S. in January.

"And what tests are you intending on taking?" the matron asked.

"Potions, Charms, Transfiguration, Herbology and Defense Against the Dark Arts," Catherine replied. Before Madame Pomfrey could respond, Catherine said. "I'm thinking of doing Ancient Runes too, but I haven't quite decided yet."

"Those are healer requirements," Madame Pomfrey finally said.

"Musts for an Auror as well," Catherine countered, holding back a grin.

"Yes, but Runes can be very useful in healing," the medi-witch replied. "It's often an elective chosen."

"True," Catherine said, nodding thoughtfully. "Although I suppose you could say the same for protection spells." She looked innocently at the older woman for a moment and then burst into laughter.

"Oh, you," Madame Pomfrey replied, sighing exasperatedly. "As if I ever thought you would want to be an Auror. I remember all those times you came into the infirmary to ask me one question or another."

"Sorry, Madame Pomfrey," Catherine said, still giggling. "I just couldn't resist."

"Don't you think it's about time you started calling me Poppy?" the other woman said. "You're hardly a student here any longer."

"All right, Poppy then," Catherine replied, smiling. "The thing is, even if I do pass my O.W.L.S, I'm not exactly sure where to go from there. I mean, I'd have to pass my N.E.W.T.S. to get into healer training and short of coming back to school, which I don't think would go over too well, I'm not sure what to do." Poppy sat in contemplation for a moment, brow furrowed, before she turned back to Catherine.

"You know, I might have an idea," she said.

"What?" Catherine asked.

"I don't want to tell you just yet, let me think about it for a bit and I'll owl you," Poppy replied.

"Not even a hint?" Catherine said, pouting a bit. Poppy chuckled.

"Not until I've spoken to a few other people," she said, patting Catherine's arm.

"All right," Catherine agreed. "Would it be all right if I stayed? I don't want to leave with Ellie asleep."

"Of course," Madame Pomfrey agreed. "Stay as long as you like. I'll be back out to check on her in just a bit. And Catherine, I'll keep an eye on her and if she needs any help, she can always come to me." Catherine smiled and nodded, then walked back into the ward and over to Ellie's bed, moving the screens aside as she did so. Her daughter was still sleeping and when Catherine glanced around, she realized that Harry's two friends had left. Harry had a pile of something on his lap and seemed to be looking morosely at it. She hesitated for a moment before approaching his bed.

"Excuse me, Harry?" she said as she stood near the end of this bed.

"Yeah," he said glumly looking up at her. Catherine startled a bit as she realized just how much like James he really looked, although the eyes were all Lily's.

"I'm sorry to bother you, but I was here visiting my daughter," she indicated the bed across the ward.

"And you wanted to get a glimpse of the Boy-Who-Lived," he said flatly, then seemed to realize he was speaking to an adult, for his cheeks colored. "Sorry," he mumbled.

"It's all right," she assured him. "I'm sure it gets a bit old having everyone stare at you all the time." He looked up in surprise then, his hand tightening around what looked like a piece of wood on his lap. "I'm sorry, I should have introduced myself. I'm Catherine Powell and I actually went to school with your parents. I was a couple of years younger than them." She decided to forgo any mention of Sirius for the time being.

"You knew my parents?" Harry asked, his countenance immediately perking up.

"Just a bit. I wasn't really friends with them or anything," she admitted. Remus had yet to tell Harry that he knew his parents. Catherine wasn't sure why this was, but she was almost positive Professor Dumbledore had something to do with it. So Catherine didn't tell Harry that she felt as if she knew his parents better because of Remus.

"What," he stopped and cleared his throat. "What were they like?"

"Well your dad was always laughing and joking around. He was a big prankster," she said and Harry smiled. "He and his friends did a lot of crazy things." She shook her head and chuckled a bit. "And your mum was very smart and she was kind to everyone. People really liked her a lot." Harry nodded, looking thoughtful. "They were both very wonderful people." Harry didn't answer and Catherine saw that his eyes were bright. She decided to change the subject.

"What's that on your lap?" she asked, coming a few steps closer to the bed.

"It's my broom," Harry said gloomily. "After I fell off it because of the dementors, it flew into the Whomping Willow."

"You fell off your broom?" she gasped, putting a hand to her mouth. Madame Pomfrey had only said that Harry had fainted, she had no idea he'd fallen from his broom.

"Yeah," he said, shrugging one shoulder. "Professor Dumbledore stopped me from falling so fast, I guess." Catherine was shocked at the little concern Harry seemed to voice for his near death experience. "Anyway, my broom was destroyed." He looked sadly at the pile of wood and twigs on his lap. "And we lost the match."

"I'm sorry Harry," Catherine said quietly. He shrugged again and Catherine decided to give him some privacy.

"Well, I should check on my daughter," she said. "It was very nice to have met you."

"What's her name?" Harry asked. "Your daughter, I mean."

"Ellie Powell," Catherine replied. "She's a first year Ravenclaw. She had trouble with the dementors as well." Catherine added the last on impulse, having gotten the feeling that Harry felt a bit embarrassed that the dementors affected him so badly.

"Did she faint too?" he asked and then immediately reddened. "Sorry, that's none of my business."

"It's all right," Catherine replied. "Actually, yes she did. Her father, well, he wasn't so keen on magic." Harry nodded, as if he knew exactly what Catherine meant and Catherine stored that away to ask Remus about later.

"If she ever wants to, I mean, I could," Harry trailed off and ran a hand nervously through his hair. "If she feels bad about fainting, she can always come and talk to me," he managed to rush out and Catherine smiled.

"Thank you Harry," she said. "I'll be sure to let her know that." Harry nodded at her and then went back to staring at the pieces of his broken broom. Before Catherine could say anything else, Harry's friends were back, so Catherine just nodded and turned back towards Ellie's bed. She glanced back at the trio and saw that while Harry still fingered the wood in his lap, he had a small grin on his face and laughed at something Ron said to him. Catherine smiled and walked back towards her daughter.

* * *

Catherine spent most of the afternoon in the hospital wing, talking quietly with Ellie until Poppy came out of her office and checked Ellie over once more. She announced that Ellie was free to leave and go to the Great Hall to dinner. Harry looked up hopefully at this, but the medi-witch shook her head at him.

"Not you, Mr. Potter," she said shortly. "You will remain here for the rest of the weekend. I will bring your dinner to you in a few moments." Harry scowled once she had turned around and Catherine held in a chuckle. As she and Ellie made their way past his bed, Harry looked up.

"Ellie, have you met Harry?" Catherine asked and her daughter shook her head shyly. "Harry, this is my daughter, Ellie."

"Hi," Harry said, giving her a little wave.

"Hello," Ellie nearly whispered, edging closer to her mother.

"So, you probably saw what happened to me out on the pitch," Harry said after a pause and Ellie nodded.

"Was it," she paused, biting her lip. "Was it because of the dementors?"

"Yeah," Harry said, making a face.

"Me too," Ellie said, shivering a little.

"Well, if you ever want to, you know, talk about it," Harry glanced at her and then looked down at his lap. Ellie seemed to understand however. She smiled.

"Thanks Harry," she replied.

"Sure," he said, shrugging a shoulder. Catherine smiled at him as well.

"Good-bye Harry," she said. "I hope to see you again."

"Bye," he replied and Catherine and Ellie walked out of the hospital wing.

"I'll walk you to dinner," Catherine said to Ellie as they left. The two made their way through the corridors to the Great Hall. The castle hadn't changed over the years and Catherine was not surprised to realize that she still knew her way around. She hugged Ellie when they reached the Great Hall, then watched as Ellie was greeted by her friends at the Ravenclaw table. Smiling, Catherine made her way back Professor Flitwick's office so she could floo home.

* * *

She spoke to Remus the next day about everything that had happened. He had been in his quarters recovering from a rather difficult transformation.

"I think it's because Sirius was here," Remus said. "The wolf caught his scent from the grounds and well, he was pack. Even with the Wolfsbane, it was hard." Catherine sighed and wished Remus would come through or she could go there. She wanted to tend to him herself. But he wasn't feeling up to it he said and she knew he would have to find one of the other professors to change the wards to allow her through. The professors and staff at the school were keyed into the wards if they needed to travel by floo outside Hogwarts, but for anyone else to come in or even leave through, they had to be changed. Professor Flitwick, of course, had no issues doing this, but Catherine knew that Remus didn't know the actual spell to do so.

"I was at the school yesterday, actually," Catherine said and Remus looked at her quizzically. "I'm sure you've heard about the dementors swarming the pitch?" He nodded. "Ellie fainted up in the stands."

"Her father?" Remus asked and Catherine nodded.

"She's fine now," Catherine continued. "But, Merlin, Remus, I was terrified when Professor Flitwick called me."

"I don't think it will be an issue again," Remus replied. "Dumbledore was not happy and that's putting it mildly. Gave Fudge quite a piece of his mind, according to a few of the portraits. Apparently, he didn't even wait until they were in his office to start on his tirade." Remus chuckled and Catherine smirked.

"I spoke to Harry," Catherine said.

"How is he?" Remus asked.

"He seemed all right," she said. "Rather broken up about his broom though. In fact, he seemed more upset about the broom and losing the match, than the fact that he almost fell to his death." She shivered.

"From what I've heard, this wasn't his first near-death experience since he's been here," Remus replied sadly. Catherine shook her head. Myra had filled her in on the Chamber of Secrets incident from the previous year. She couldn't imagine what else the boy had gotten himself into. He was only 13 for goodness sake!

"You'll have to tell me about that some time once you're feeling better," she said and he nodded.

"I'll keep an eye on Ellie the next few days, make sure she's all right," Remus said.

"Just take care of yourself, please," Catherine returned, giving him her best mother's glare. He just shook his head in amusement.

"Yes, Mum," he said and she laughed.

The next few days, Catherine waited uneasily for any word from Ellie, but she only sent one letter saying that all was fine and that her mother needn't worry.

'Fat chance of that,' Catherine thought to herself with a smile. But it seemed the Professor Dumbledore's conversation with the Minister and the dementors had the desired effect, for there were no more incidents with dementors on the Hogwarts grounds.


	29. Happy Christmas

**A/N - Hi everyone! This chapter is a bit shorter and is pretty much just fluff, not alot of advancing the plot here, but that's how Christmas should be, shouldn't it? ;) I think there are 4 more chapters after this one, so this story will be finished in two weeks! I can't believe it and I need to get writing on the sequel. Thanks for all the reviews and if anyone saw all the spam after the last chapter, sorry about that. Someone reviewed every chapter except one with spam. Glad that FF removed all of them for me. See you next week! **

**Chapter 29**

**Happy Christmas**

**19 December 1993**

Christmas approached much more quickly that Catherine expected and soon it was time to pick Ellie up at King's Cross. Her daughter came off the train smiling and laughing, her arm linked through Tess'. Catherine smiled thinking of Myra. She looked around for her friend and spotted her hurrying through the barrier, three younger children in tow. Catherine had left Rory and Miranda at home, wanting some time alone with her eldest. Catherine waved as Myra looked up and made her way towards the train.

"Mum!" Ellie called, hurrying toward her mother and hugging her.

"Hey El," Catherine replied, wrapping her arms around the girl. "Tess."

"Hi Mrs. Powell," Tess said brightly. Catherine didn't bother to correct her on the Mrs.

"Where are your brother and Ethan?" Myra asked Tess as she approached Catherine and the girls.

"They're talking to some girls," Tess put her hand over her mouth and giggled and Ellie rolled her eyes. Catherine chuckled and turned to Myra who looked none too pleased with this turn of events.

"Girls?" Owen said, making a face. "Ewww."

"Ethan's got a girlfriend, Ethan's got a girlfriend," the twins began to chant.

"Girls, hush," Myra admonished, then turned as her son and Will stepped off the train, followed by two girls. The four formed a group as they walked down the platform. "Oh, I am so not ready for this," Myra groaned and shook her head. Catherine put an arm around her friend and smirked.

"Better you than me," Catherine said, in mock sympathy.

"Just you wait, Catherine Powell," Myra said dryly. "Your day will come."

The group of children made their way towards Catherine and Myra, stopping a few feet away. Ethan glanced at his mother from the corner of his eye before turning back to the girl he had been talking to. She smiled at him and he colored a bit and Catherine was reminded very much of Ian, Ethan's father. The girls said their good-byes and moved away as Ethan and Will approached his mother.

"Hi, Mum," he said, giving her a hug.

"Who's that girl Ethan?" Anna asked, tugging on his trouser leg.

"Do you _looooove_ her?" Alexis continued and then they both began to giggle.

"Shut it, you," Ethan growled and then looked at his mother pleadingly.

"Girls, that's enough teasing your brother," Myra admonished. The girls looked up innocently at their mother, then continued to laugh behind their hands when she turned back to Catherine. Her friend was going to have her hands very full with those two in a few years. "You're coming on New Year's Eve, yes?" Myra's voice brought her out of her musings.

"Of course," Catherine replied smiling.

"And have you convinced Remus?" Myra continued.

"Yes, finally," Catherine said smiling. It had taken quite a bit of cajoling on her part, but Remus had finally agreed to accompany her to the party.

"Wonderful, we'll see you then. Have a happy Christmas," Myra said, giving Catherine a hug.

"You too," Catherine replied.

"Come on you lot," Myra said to her children. Ethan made his goodbyes to Will, Tess and Ellie, then followed his mother and siblings back through the barrier. Catherine was just about to turn to ask Will and Tess if their parents were coming when she heard someone calling their names.

"Will! Tess!" The two looked up and waved to a woman who had just come through the barrier to the platform.

"Hello, Mum," they replied in unison as the woman approached. Catherine turned to see a face that she recognized. The woman looked quizzically at her for a moment, then smiled in recognition.

"Catherine?" the woman said and Catherine smiled. Anastasia Bellard had been in Maureen MacKenzie's year at Hogwarts.

"Anastasia," Catherine said. "How nice to see you again."

"When Tess told me all about her new friend Ellie Powell, I just never connected her with you," Anastasia said and Catherine knew that the children having her maiden name was the reason.

"Yes, well, it seems to confuse quite a few people," Catherine said lightly, not intending to get into any explanations on the train platform.

"Mum, can Ellie come over during the holidays?" Tess asked her mother.

"Oh, I'm sure we can work something out," Anastasia said, grinning at her daughter and then looked expectantly at Catherine.

"Of course," Catherine agreed. "Just send an owl or floo. You've got our floo address?" Tess nodded. "Well, we'd better be going Ellie. Wonderful to see you Anastasia."

"And you," Anastasia replied and Tess and Ellie made their goodbyes.

When they got to the car outside the station, Catherine could tell that something was on Ellie's mind.

"What is it sweetheart?" she asked as they got into the car. Ellie bit her lip.

"It's just," she paused, looking away from Catherine. "Do you think that I should use Cooper as my last name?" Catherine didn't say anything for a moment and her hands tightened on the steering wheel.

"Do you want to?" she asked, forcing her voice to remain steady. Ellie shrugged

"It's just, some of the kids that I go to school with, their parents knew you and well, I think they think it's weird that I don't have a different last name," Ellie said quietly.

"Does that bother you?" Catherine asked.

"Not really," her daughter admitted. "But doesn't it bother you?" She looked at her mother hesitantly.

"Sweetheart, if you want to change your name back to Cooper, then we can talk about that," Catherine said gently. "But if you think you should just because you're worried about me, then don't. It doesn't matter to me what people think and it's none of their business anyway. Has someone said something to you?"

"Well, no, but Tess called you Mrs. Powell and her mum seemed awfully confused about my name," Ellie said.

"It doesn't matter to me if your friends call me 'Mrs.'" Catherine assured the girl. "As for Tess' mother, well, if she's anything like she was at school, she did always like to have her nose in everyone else's business." Ellie giggled.

"It's up to you Ellie," Catherine continued. "If you really want to go back to Cooper then that's your choice." She pulled out into traffic as Ellie sat in silence for a few moments.

"No, Mum," Ellie finally said. "I like being Ellie Powell a lot better than I liked being Eleanor Cooper." Catherine chuckled and patted her daughter's knee. Ellie smiled at her and covered Catherine's hand with her own, giving it a squeeze. Unexpected tears gathered at the back of Catherine's eyes. She really was very lucky.

* * *

The next few days flew by and even though Catherine had tried to convince him, Remus refused to come on Christmas Eve and stay the night.

"Christmas is for families," Remus had said when he had refused Catherine's invitation for the third time.

"You _are_ family, Remus," Catherine had insisted, but Remus had just chuckled and shook his head.

"Your children should be with you on Christmas morning when they open their gifts," he replied. Catherine huffed at him.

"Fine, but at least say you'll come to Christmas dinner," she persisted. "You know what I've gotten Rory for Christmas and there's no way I'm taking him up on it."

"All right," he agreed with a grin. It wasn't until after Catherine had ended that call that she realized that Remus might not have the money for gifts and that was why he had refused to come. Not that she expected him to bring gifts, but knowing Remus, he wouldn't have been able to enjoy himself if he hadn't. Sighing, she looked at the gift for him wrapped under the tree and wondered if she shouldn't give it to him. She didn't want him to feel uncomfortable.

Still, she thought, the cloak he wore was much too threadbare and patched and this one she had made herself, so it hadn't cost her near what it would have, had she purchased it in the store. And Professor Flitwick had put the warming charms and shield charms on it for her one day when she'd been in his office for a bit of help with some of her spells. Remus would just have to deal with it, she thought with a smirk.

* * *

**25 December 1993**

Catherine was right, of course. When Remus opened the gift, he protested until she explained that she had made the cloak herself. After she'd told him about the charms that were on it, he shook his head at her.

"You shouldn't have done this," he said.

"And why not?" she asked.

"I haven't brought, that is, I can't," he stammered and his face reddened.

"Remus Lupin, you have done more for me in these last few months than anyone has in years," she said, hands on her hips. "Helping us at Diagon Alley, teaching Rory about Quidditch, the wards, letting Ellie use your office as her own personal telephone box," she waved a hand towards her children who were near the Christmas tree in the lounge. "You've given me plenty of gifts already."

"The only gift I need is your friendship," he insisted.

"Well that won't keep you warm in the middle of a snowstorm, so just stop being ridiculous and say thank you," Catherine huffed.

"Thank you," he said, smirking at her. Then he pulled her into a hug and kissed her cheek. "But I meant it about the friendship," he said once he'd released her.

"I know that," she said, putting a hand to his cheek. "And you know that I feel the same." He nodded and smiled and then Rory burst into the room.

"Remus wait until you see what Mum bought me for Christmas!" the boy exclaimed, nearly jumping up and down in his excitement.

"Let's see it then," Remus said, smile on his face. Rory rushed from the room, his feet heard pounding up the stairs to his room and then almost immediately pounding back down again. When he came round the corner, he held a gleaming new broom in his hand.

"It's brilliant!" Rory said, his grin dominating the entire bottom half of his face.

"Yes, I must say that it is," Remus agreed, taking the proffered broom and inspecting it closely.

"Mum said that maybe you might take me out for a fly some time?" Rory said, hopeful look on his face.

"Well, lucky for you, I just happen to have my broom right here in my pocket," Remus replied, pulling his shrunken broom from his trouser pocket. He pulled out his wand as well and tapped the broom with it, which grew back to full-size in an instant.

"What do you say Catherine?" Remus asked. "Do we have time for a quick spin before dinner?" Catherine looked at Rory who had a pleading look on his face.

"Please Mum?" the boy begged.

"Oh all right," she said, leaning over and ruffling his hair. "Just a quick one mind and be sure the muggles don't see you."

"Yes!" Rory shouted and ran to the front hall to get his shoes. Catherine chuckled, shaking her head.

"What are you going to do about not being seen?" she asked, turning to Remus. "You won't be able to see him if you use a disillusionment charm."

"Notice-me-not charms," Remus said. "I'll take him down to the park and cast a few around it. It's rather cold out and with it being Christmas, I don't think the park will be too crowded." He smirked at her. Rory came back into the room, shoes and coat on. Remus pulled on his new cloak and Catherine cast a warming charm on Rory after insisting that he put on a hat and gloves.

The two left and Catherine helped her mother finish the dinner preparations while the boys flew in the park. Ellie seemed to take after Catherine and had no real interest in being on a broom. She had told Catherine that she didn't enjoy flying class all that much and was currently engrossed in the newest wizarding mystery novel Tess had sent her for Christmas. Miranda showed a bit more interest in Rory's broom, but was just as happy to play with her new magical tea set that Catherine had gotten her.

Remus and Rory returned about an hour later, red-cheeked and laughing. Catherine smiled at the admiration that was in Rory's eyes as he looked at Remus and was glad that her son finally had a man to look up to. As Jane called them all to dinner, Catherine kissed Remus' cheek and gave his hand a squeeze, silently thanking whoever had seen fit to bring him back into her life.

* * *

**31 December 1993**

Catherine stood in her bathroom, putting the finishing touches on her make-up when the doorbell rang. She heard running footsteps and then a shouted, "Mr. Remus!" from Miranda. Catherine smiled as she imagined the scene at the door. No matter how many times he told her she didn't have to, Miranda still insisted on calling Remus, Mr. Remus. It seemed to be her own special name for him. Catherine chuckled as she slipped her lipstick into her handbag. She took one last look at herself in the mirror and then walked downstairs.

Remus sat on the couch between Rory and Miranda who were both talking to him at the same time. He looked from one to the other, as if watching a tennis match, but he seemed to be keeping up with both conversations. Catherine shook her head in amusement.

"All right you two, let Remus alone," she said from behind them. Remus turned and looked back at her, his eyes widening as he took in the sight of her in her dress robes. She held her arms out and spun in a slow circle. "Do you approve?" she asked, smirking at him.

"Oh, um, yes, yes of course," he stammered out and Catherine began to laugh. He stood and glared at her, then chuckled himself at his reaction.

"You look very nice yourself," she remarked.

"Haven't worn these since James and Lily's wedding," he said, then looked at her, guilt on his face. She just shook her head and motioned him from the room.

"Remus, you don't have to be afraid to mention them or Sirius," she insisted. "I'm not going to fall apart."

"You're sure," he said, looking at her in concern.

"I'm fine," she insisted. "Let's just have a good time tonight, all right?" He nodded and they stepped back into the lounge so she could say good-bye to the children. Rory and Miranda had their own hugs for Remus, while Ellie just gave him a small smile. They stepped to the floo after saying good-bye to her mother and Catherine went first, calling out the name of Myra and Ian's.

She stepped rather unceremoniously from the floo, and Ian, who was waiting on the other end, took her hand to steady her. They moved away from the fireplace a bit, as it blazed green once more and Remus stepped out.

"Remus," Ian said, shaking the other man's hand. "Good to see you again."

"Likewise," Remus replied with a smile.

"Food and drinks are all set up in the dining room," he continued. "Myra and Sharon are in the kitchen and David is around here somewhere. No one else is here yet."

"Thanks, Ian," Catherine said, then turned to Remus. "Shall we get a drink?"

"Certainly," he replied and they both nodded to Ian, then moved into the dining room. David was there, loading up a plate with food. He looked up when they entered, smiling and greeting them both.

"Did you have a nice Christmas?" he asked Catherine.

"Yes, I did," she replied, smiling at him. David turned to Remus.

"Hello, Remus, how are you?" he asked as the two shook hands.

"Fine, thank you," Remus said.

"I heard you're teaching up at Hogwarts this year," David continued. "Enjoying it?"

"Very much so," Remus replied smiling.

"Let me get the two of you a drink," David said. "I've been dubbed barman for the moment, while Ian mans the floo." They both accepted glasses of wine and then chatted for a few more minutes. They were interrupted by a squeal and Catherine turned to see Elena hurtling at her at a high rate of speed. Remus managed to pluck the wine glass from her hand before Elena impacted with her. Catherine grunted, just managing to stay on her feet as the other woman grabbed her and hugged her, then laughed as she saw Sean rolling his eyes over Elena's shoulder.

"Merlin, love, let her breathe," he said, coming and putting a hand on Elena's back. Elena let go of Catherine and slapped her husband playfully on the chest.

"I haven't seen her for fifteen years, Sean," she said.

"That doesn't mean you have to knock her on her bum the moment you do," Sean replied and Elena shook her head at him and everyone else in the room laughed. He leaned forward and kissed Catherine on the cheek.

"I'm so glad you're here," Catherine said to Elena, as Sean greeted the other men in the room. Elena accepted a glass of wine from Sean, then pulled on Catherine's arm.

"Come on, I hear the women are in the kitchen, as usual," she mock-glared at Sean and he raised his eyebrows suggestively at her. Catherine laughed, then glanced back at Remus who gave her a nod. She let herself be dragged to the kitchen by Elena.

"Oh good, you're here," Myra said as they came into the room. She hugged them both and Sharon rose as well, repeating the gesture.

"How's that little girl of yours?" Catherine asked and Sharon smiled.

"Pretty close to perfect," she said of her six-week old daughter, Lauren. Catherine had visited shortly after the baby's birth, but the two had only talked by owl since. "She's so much calmer than Jack was."

"You're probably calmer too," Catherine remarked and Sharon looked at her curiously. "I mean, I was much less nervous when Rory came along than when Ellie was born."

"True," Sharon said with a smile. Soon the four were chatting away about babies and children.

* * *

"Excuse me," Catherine heard a voice say after a few minutes. She turned to see Sean and Remus standing in the doorway. "I realize that the kitchen is a very fascinating place and all," Sean said. He winked at Elena who colored slightly. Catherine made a mental note to find out that story later. "But we gentlemen could use some female companionship out here."

"And more guests have arrived," Remus finished.

"Oh, all right," Myra grumbled playfully. "We're coming." Catherine stood and followed Remus back into the dining room. There were a few other couples there now, neighbors, friends of Ian's from school. Catherine recognized a few and was introduced to those she didn't. She enjoyed herself very much and saw that Remus did as well, the two of them alternately chatting together or splitting up and talking separately.

At one point, the two of them were standing together and Catherine felt Remus stiffen as a man approached.

"Ah, Mr. Lupin," the man said and Remus nodded tersely. "And who might this beautiful lady be?" Catherine could feel the tension in Remus' body as he turned toward her, but his face was impassive.

"Catherine Powell," he said, gesturing to the man in front of him. "Octavius Bulstrode." Mr. Bulstrode smiled at her as she extended her hand, then leaned forward and kissed the back of it. It took everything Catherine had not to wipe it off on her robes afterward.

"A pleasure," he said and Catherine nodded. Then he turned to Remus. "So, Mr. Lupin, terrible business about Sirius Black's escape, terrible business." He shook his head. Catherine reached down and grasped Remus' hand, squeezing it slightly. She was appalled at Mr. Bulstrode's audacity. Many people at the party knew that Remus and Sirius had been friends, but they had all, so far anyway, had the good sense not to bring the subject up to him.

"Yes, sir, it is," Remus said tightly. "I'm sure the Ministry will have him back in custody soon."

"Oh, yes, of course," Octavius agreed. "Especially now with the dementors on the case." Catherine forced herself not to shiver. "Still, it seems awfully strange that they haven't been able to find him yet." He took a sip of his drink.

"I suppose," Remus said warily. Catherine's eyes narrowed, wondering just where this was going.

"My Millicent told me what happened on Halloween up at the school," Octavius continued. "You're teaching there this year I hear?"

"Yes, I am," Remus said, his hand tightening around Catherine's.

"Seems a bit of a coincidence, don't you think?" Octavius said, looking pointedly at Remus.

"I don't know what you mean," Remus replied, his mouth in a thin line. Catherine glanced around the room, spotting Ian and David talking a few feet away. She gave them a look and Ian raised his eyebrows, then saw who she and Remus were talking to. He and David began to walk towards the group.

"Well, the two of you were close friends were you not?" Octavius asked. "And just a few short weeks after you begin teaching there, Black somehow finds his way into the castle?" He took another sip of his drink.

"Are you implying that I helped him escape as well?" Remus demanded angrily and Octavius shrugged, just as Ian and David reached them. Ian stood next to Octavius as David stepped to Remus' other side.

"All right gents?" Ian asked, putting a hand on Octavius' shoulder.

"Of course, Ian, of course," Octavius replied, smiling widely and clapping the younger man on the back. "Wonderful party." He turned back to Remus and Catherine. "Ms. Powell, such a pleasure to have met you. I do hope to see you again." He gave her a slight bow. "Mr. Lupin," he said, smirk on his face, then turned and walked away.

"Sorry about that mate," Ian said to Remus after Octavius was out of earshot. "He's a wanker, but they live nearby and Myra felt like she had to invite them."

"It's all right, Ian," Remus replied, but Catherine could tell that the conversation had affected him and he was barely controlling his emotions.

"Come on, Remus, let's go and get some air," Catherine said tugging on his hand and Remus allowed himself to be pulled outside. When they had reached the garden, Remus began to pace, muttering under his breath. Catherine couldn't make out any of the words, but she didn't have a hard time guessing what he was saying. He finally stopped pacing and turned to her.

"Maybe I should just go," he said sighing.

"You were enjoying yourself before that idiot came along weren't you?" Catherine asked.

"Yes," Remus admitted.

"Then don't let him ruin the rest of your night," she replied, stepping closer to him and putting a hand on his arm. He sighed heavily and put his arms around her, pulling her into a hug. They stood in silence for a few moments and then Remus pulled back from her. He smiled and kissed her forehead.

"You're right," he said. "Besides, if I left, who would you have to kiss at midnight?" He grinned wickedly and she punched his arm playfully.

"Watch it Lupin," she warned. "I've been told I have an extremely wicked right hook." He held his hands up in surrender and they both laughed. Catherine slipped an arm through his and they went back into the house.

* * *

Catherine stuck close to Remus' side for the rest of the evening, determined that he not be subjected to such ridiculous questions by anyone else. Mr. Bulstrode tried to catch her eye a few times from across the room, but she made it a point to ignore him each time. He and his wife left not long after.

Just before midnight, Ian directed them all outside where he put on a very impressive fireworks display. As the countdown to midnight began, Catherine leaned into Remus and smiled. He put an arm around her kissed the top of her head. When someone yelled, "Happy New Year", Remus leaned down and kissed her quickly on the lips. She hugged him and they stood watching until the remaining fireworks had disappeared from the sky.

Shortly afterward, the party began to break up and Catherine found herself in the kitchen helping Myra, Sharon and Elena put away food and wash dishes. The men were in the dining room reordering the furniture and cleaning up the bar. The four women were laughing loudly, Catherine having finally got the story out of Elena of all of Sean's references to the kitchen. It seemed the previous week they had gotten rather, "frisky", as she put it, and had somehow found themselves on the kitchen table.

"So," Myra said, once they had all finally composed themselves and she had set the dishes to washing and drying. "What's going on with you and Remus Lupin?" She turned and crossed her arms, looking at Catherine expectantly. Elena mirrored her pose and Sharon looked up from the table where she had been putting leftover food into smaller containers.

"We're friends," Catherine said firmly.

"Friends," Myra repeated. "That's all?"

"Yes, Myra, that's all," Catherine replied.

"Pretty chummy aren't you?" Elena chimed in.

"What on earth are you talking about?" Catherine asked.

"He sure touches you an awful lot for just being your friend," Elena said shrugging.

"Maybe they're friends with benefits," Sharon said. Catherine turned and looked at her incredulously as Myra and Elena burst out laughing.

"Honestly, don't the three of you have anything better to do than analyze my, very non-existent I assure you, love life?" Catherine demanded and they all shook their heads.

"We're all old married women, Catherine. Elena's adventures in the kitchen notwithstanding," Myra said dryly, "We have to live vicariously through you."

"Well, no matter what you think, Remus and I are just friends," Catherine said, turning to look at Sharon. "_Without_ benefits."

"Whatever you say," Sharon said shrugging one shoulder and Myra and Elena began to laugh again.

"Look you three, there's nothing going on between the two of us," Catherine insisted. "I don't, I'm not, I just can't." She sighed and sat down at the table, putting her head in her hands, the air in the room immediately becoming somber. Myra moved to her side and put a hand on her back.

"I'm sorry Catherine, we were just teasing," she said quietly and Catherine looked up at her.

"I know, I'm not upset about that," she gave Myra a pointed look and Myra nodded. Catherine hated hiding things from her friends, but this was not the time or place to get into a discussion about Sirius. Catherine looked to the other two women in the room. "I just don't want a relationship right now. I'm busy with studying and trying to decide what to do with my life. I finally feel like I can stand on my own two feet after everything that Daniel did and all I need right now are friends, nothing else."

"I think you've been standing on your own two feet for quite some time," Sharon said quietly, grasping Catherine's hand. Catherine smiled at her and Elena moved forward to pat her shoulder when the men walked into the kitchen. Seeing the looks on the women's faces, they all looked at each other before moving to stand next to their significant others. Remus put a hand on Catherine's back as Myra moved into Ian's embrace.

"Everything all right?" Remus asked quietly and Catherine nodded, not trusting herself to speak at the moment. He looked at her in concern, but said nothing as she mentally gathered herself.

"All cleaned up out there then?" she finally asked.

"Yes, all clean and back to order," David said.

"Until the children get home tomorrow and mess it all up again," Myra returned, rolling her eyes. They all laughed and the tension was gone from the room.

"Speaking of children," Sharon said, looking to David. He nodded and the two made their good-byes to everyone, then stepped into the garden to apparate home.

"I'll think we'll take the floo," Elena said. "It's quite a walk from the apparition point to your parent's house," she said to Sean and he nodded. Greetings were exchanged once again before the couple disappeared into the fireplace.

"Well I guess that just leaves us," Remus said. "Floo or apparate?" After the previous conversation with her friends, Catherine decided the less fuel for the fire the better. Besides, side-along always reminded her of Sirius and she realized that those memories were much closer to the surface than she liked.

"Floo," she answered and Remus nodded, seeming to understand. She hugged Ian and Myra, promising the latter that they would talk soon and then followed Remus through the floo. He was there to catch her as she came through, she still hadn't mastered the graceful exit and she laughed a bit as he steadied her.

"Sure you're all right?" he asked once she had shed her cloak.

"Yes," she responded. "Are you?"

"I will be," he said. "I shouldn't be surprised, you know. It's what a lot of people think, especially since I'm teaching at Hogwarts now."

"Still doesn't mean they should accuse you like that," she said angrily.

"I've had run-ins with Bulstrode before," Remus said waving a hand. "He's a wanker like Ian said." Catherine giggled and Remus smiled at her, then sobered. "I'm going to try and teach Harry to conjure a Patronus when we get back to school," he said.

"Sorry?" Catherine replied to the abrupt change in topic.

"A Patronus," Remus replied. "Harry was very upset that they lost the Quidditch match because he fell from his broom, so he's asked me to help him. He really wants to win the cup this year." Remus shook his head smiling.

"Honestly that boy is more worried about that fact that he lost than that he almost fell to his death," she said exasperatedly.

"Sounds like a couple of Marauders I knew," Remus said wistfully. She nodded and then thought of Ellie.

"Do you think Ellie?" Catherine let the question hang in the air.

"Ellie is a very talented witch, but she's much too young to be able to conjure a Patronus," Remus said apologetically. "I actually have strong doubts that Harry will even be able to do it, but he's insisted, so we'll try."

"What about me?" Catherine asked and Remus gave her an appraising look.

"Hmm, well, I suppose I might be able to help you muddle through something," he said smirking and she rolled her eyes at him. "We'll talk after the moon, all right?"

"All right," she agreed.

"Well, I'd better let you get to bed," he said and Catherine walked him to the door.

"Thanks for coming with me," she said.

"Thanks for asking," he replied. She leaned forward and kissed his cheek.

"Happy New Year," she said.

"Happy New Year, Catherine," he answered and then turned and walked away into the night.


	30. OWLS and Opportunities

**A/N at end.**

**Chapter 30**

**O.W.L.S and Opportunities**

**17 January 1994**

Catherine's stomach flipped and rolled as she made her way through the Ministry Atrium to the lifts. She was headed to Griselda Marchbanks' office to begin her O.W.L. tests. Today would be the written and practical test for Charms, as well as the written test for Potions. The rest of her subjects, including Ancient Runes which she had decided to pursue, would be divided over the rest of the week.

Catherine had heard back from Madame Pomfrey over the holidays regarding her idea. The medi-witch had invited her to do an apprenticeship of sorts at Hogwarts, provided she passed her O.W.L.S. of course. Catherine would study the N.E.W.T. level coursework on her own and work with Poppy in the infirmary to gain first-hand knowledge of healing. Poppy had spoken to all of the professors and they had all agreed to be available to Catherine should she have questions about her classes, although Snape had apparently refused. Poppy had told her not to worry, that she herself knew plenty about Potions, as did Professor Sprout, and if there were any questions Poppy also had a friend at St. Mungo's who worked with experimental potions that would be happy to help. St. Mungo's had also agreed that her apprenticeship with Poppy would count toward her healer training, shortening the time until Catherine could become a full-fledged healer.

Catherine had been thrilled by the opportunity to shorten her studies and training, as well as being at the castle occasionally to keep an eye on Ellie. But first, I've got to get through these tests, she thought to herself. Stepping from the lift, she walked down the hall to Ms. Marchbanks' office. Squaring her shoulders and taking a deep breath, she opened the door and stepped through.

* * *

**21 January 1994**

Catherine breathed a sigh of relief as she left Ms. Marchbanks' office. She had finished her final tests today, written and practical in Transfiguration, and overall, she thought she had done rather well. Given the fact that she would be doing independent study, rather than going on into classes, she was required to receive E's or higher in all subjects to be able to take N.E.W.T.s in those same subjects. Knowing that it would be a few weeks before she got the results, Catherine decided to try and put it out of her mind for the time being. She had done the best she could and it was out of her hands now, in any case. Besides, she thought looking at her watch, it was time to meet Remus in Hogsmeade for a celebratory drink.

Catherine flooed from the Ministry to the Three Broomsticks and looked around for Remus as she exited the fireplace. He waved from a table near the back of the pub and she smiled and joined him.

"So," he said as she sat down. "Did you pass with flying colors?"

"You know I won't find out for a few weeks," Catherine admonished, shrugging out of her cloak and laying it on the chair beside her.

"All right, do you think you passed with flying colors?" he asked again, cheekily this time and she stuck her tongue out at him.

"I think they went all right, but there were some questions I wasn't sure about. And I'm not sure if my summoning charm was strong enough," she began to twist a lock of hair around her fingers and Remus chuckled. "What?" she asked and he pointed to her hair. She blushed and put her hand in her lap as Madame Rosmerta approached their table.

"What can I get you Remus?" she asked, giving him a smile. "And your friend?"

"Catherine," Remus replied and Madame Rosmerta studied her for a moment.

"You were at Hogwarts with Remus, weren't you?" she asked.

"A couple of years behind him, yes," Catherine said smiling.

"Ah, I thought that I recognized you," Rosmerta said. "What'll it be then?" Remus and Catherine ordered their drinks and Catherine a bit of food since she had missed lunch due to the tests.

"So, how's second term going?" she asked while they waited for their order.

"I've been giving Harry his Patronus lessons," Remus began.

"How's he doing then?" Catherine asked.

"Rather well, actually," Remus replied. "He's yet to get a corporeal form, but he's doing well all the same. It's only," Remus trailed off looking troubled.

"What?" Catherine asked in concern.

"We've been using a boggart, it turns into a dementor when Harry sees it," he explained. "So it takes on the characteristics of a dementor and Harry has been hearing Lily and James right before," he stopped again, trying to reign in his emotions. Catherine's brow furrowed in thought and then she realized.

"Oh Merlin, Remus, he's been hearing them right before they died?" she gasped, bringing a hand to her mouth. Remus nodded sorrowfully. "Oh that poor boy," she said quietly just as Madame Rosmerta returned with their drinks and food. Catherine gathered herself long enough to thank the barmaid and arrange their table before she turned back to Remus. "Did he tell you what they said?" Remus sighed.

"He hears James telling Lily to take Harry and run and then Lily begging Voldemort not to hurt Harry, to take her instead. And then he hears her screaming and sees a green light." Catherine reached out and took Remus' hand, which he gripped hard. She could feel her eyes filling, but forced herself to keep the tears from falling. Remus was looking down at the table top, his voice shaky and Catherine could only imagine how upset he must be to know what his friends' last moments had been like. After a few moments silence, Remus seemed to gather himself and he looked back up at her with sad eyes.

"No wonder he passed out, if that's what he hears every time the dementors come round," Remus said. "I'm surprised he's managing to withstand it as long as he is during our lessons." Catherine said nothing, just held his hand in support as he sipped at his firewhiskey. She had been a bit surprised when he'd ordered it, but now knew why.

"Do you think he'll be able to manage it eventually?" she asked. "The Patronus, I mean. Or will the memories be too horrible?" She was thinking about her own daughter as well as Harry.

"He's extremely powerful, that much is clear," Remus said, clearing his throat. "He definitely needs his magic to be honed and controlled more than it is now, but yes, I think he'll manage it." He smiled weakly and Catherine knew what he was thinking. That Sirius had done this, had stolen Harry's parents from him and forced the child to relive that memory every time a dementor came near. She let that train of thought trail off, not wanting to get into an argument right now.

"Well, with you as his teacher, I have no doubt about that," she replied, smiling at him. "Now, I've got a question for you."

"Oh and what's that?" he asked, stealing a chip from her plate.

"When is the next Quidditch match Gryffindor is playing in?" she continued.

"In a couple of weeks," he answered. "They're playing Ravenclaw actually." His eyes danced with mischief and Catherine shook her head. "Care to place a wager?"

"Perhaps," she said grinning. "But the reason I was asking is that I wondered if I could come and bring Rory. He's been bothering me about it ever since the summer when I told him I'd try and take him to a match. And since he is currently enamored with Gryffindor, thanks to a certain someone who shall remain nameless," she looked pointedly at Remus and he tried to look innocent, failing miserably as a smirk crossed his face. "I thought letting him see them in action might be fun."

"I think that could be arranged," Remus said. "Especially since you'll soon be on staff here."

"Don't say things like that, you'll jinx it," Catherine insisted and Remus chuckled.

"As if you won't pass," he scoffed, leaning back in his chair.

"I mean it Remus," Catherine said seriously. "Sometimes I think the Fates hate me. Don't give them any ideas." He took her hand and gave it a squeeze.

"Fate has nothing to do with this," Remus told her. "You'll get in on your own merit and you know it."

"Fine, let's just change the subject, can we?" she asked and he nodded. They spent the rest of their time discussing Remus' class and Catherine's children.

* * *

**4 February 1994**

Catherine opened the window in the kitchen for the owl that was hovering outside. It wasn't Ellie's or Myra's and Remus normally just floo-called if he needed to talk to her, so she wasn't sure who she would be getting mail from. Instead of a roll of parchment on its leg, the owl held an envelope in its beak and Catherine's heart stuttered for a moment. She managed to take the letter and give the owl a treat before it flew back out the window. Taking a deep breath, she looked at the envelope with the Ministry of Magic's seal on it.

Catherine sat down and stared at the envelope for a moment. She finally slit the seal and pulled the piece of parchment from inside. Closing her eyes, she took another breath before opening it and looking at her grades.

_Ancient Runes - O_

_Charms – O_

_Defense Against the Dark Arts – E_

_Herbology – O_

_Potions – O_

_Transfiguration – E_

_Catherine - Congratulations on your results. It was a pleasure to administer your tests. Please be sure to let me know when you are ready to take your N.E.W.T.S. I'm sure we can work out a similar arrangement. _

_Griselda Marchbanks_

_Wizarding Examinations Authority_

_Department of Magical Education_

A wide grin broke across Catherine's face just as her mother walked into the room.

"Something's made you happy," her mother remarked and Catherine smiled wider. She held out the parchment to her mother, who took it and scanned down the results before returning her daughter's grin. "Oh, Catherine, I'm so proud of you."

"Thanks Mum," Catherine said, a few tears gathering in her eyes. Her mother stepped forward and hugged her and Catherine allowed the tears to fall. The two embraced for a few moments before her mother pulled back.

"Remus is going to be so pleased," Jane replied. "Oh, you can speak to Madame Pomfrey when you go to Hogwarts tomorrow." She hugged Catherine again. "My daughter, a doctor," her mother said with pride and Catherine let a few more tears run down her cheeks.

* * *

**5 February 1994**

Catherine and Rory had made their way from the Three Broomsticks up to the gates of Hogwarts. They had flooed to the pub and Remus was going to meet them at the gates. Remus had spoken to Professor Dumbledore about their attending the match and he had been more than happy to allow it.

Once they had joined up with Remus, Catherine had shown him her O.W.L. results. He had been very excited, hugging her and kissing her cheek. They had then proceeded to the pitch, meeting Ellie near the entrance. Remus insisted that Catherine sit with him in the teachers' box, but Rory had decided to stay with Ellie and her friends. Catherine was a bit nervous about this arrangement, but Ethan and Will assured her they would look after him. She was greeted warmly by Professor McGonagall and the headmaster, as well as Professor Sprout and Madame Pomfrey. Catherine had also shown Poppy her results and the medi-witch had hugged Catherine as well, ensuring Catherine she would speak to Professor Dumbledore that day about Catherine starting her apprenticeship. Currently, Catherine found herself sitting between Remus and Professor Flitwick, the two arguing good-naturedly over who had the better team.

"Of course Mr. Potter is extremely talented and with that new broom, well, I'm sure he will be quite fast," Professor Flitwick was saying. "However, Miss Chang is no slouch herself."

"Care to make a little wager on that Filius?" Remus asked and Catherine rolled her eyes and shook her head. Boys and their bets.

The match began shortly thereafter and Catherine had to chuckle at the boy who was announcing the game, Lee Jordan. He seemed to be much more interested in Harry's new broomstick than he was in the match.

"Must be some broom," Catherine remarked to Remus who frowned. "What?" she asked.

"No one knows where that broom came from," he said, watching Gryffindor score. "It arrived at Christmas with no note or card." Remus looked at her pointedly.

"Now, Remus, you know that Minerva and I checked that broom over for every possible curse and hex," Filius said, clapping as Ravenclaw scored. "There's nothing wrong with it."

"I understand that Filius," Remus replied. "It doesn't change the fact that we don't know who gave it to him." Catherine looked at Remus as Professor Flitwick's attention was taken back to the match. She raised her eyebrows and he nodded. So they thought Sirius had sent the broom to Harry. Which did nothing but raise more questions about Sirius' motives and what he was really looking for at Hogwarts. Why send Harry a broom, a very expensive, top of the line broom, if everything Lee Jordan was saying was true, if Sirius was truly after him? It made absolutely no sense.

She turned back to the match, trying to concentrate on what was happening, but her mind was awhirl with possibilities once more. Nothing she would voice to Remus of course. She had no desire to start another argument with him. Before Catherine had a chance to continue her musings, there was a commotion at the end of the pitch and all attention turned that way. Three dementors stood looking up at the action in the air. Catherine gasped, standing and immediately looking toward the Ravenclaw section for Rory and Ellie. Her heart began to pound in her chest and just as she was ready to run through the stands to find them, she frowned.

Dementors standing on the pitch? Dementors didn't stand, they floated and there was no way they would stay in one spot with all of the people gathered in the stadium. Something was off about this situation. She turned to Remus to say something, but his thoughts seemed to be in-line with hers. Professor McGonagall was already hurrying down the stairs to the pitch and Remus and Professor Flitwick turned to follow her. Before Catherine could do the same, a burst of light caught her eye. She turned to see a pure white stag flying through the air and headed straight for the dementors. As she watched, it bowled right into the three hooded figures, who stumbled and fell to the ground, revealed as four students.

A whistle blew and a great cheer erupted from the crowd. Catherine turned to see Harry holding the snitch in his hand. She smiled as he was enveloped by his team, then turned her attention back to the Ravenclaw section of the stands and collecting her children.

She reached the ground with Rory and Ellie a few minutes later, the former giddy with excitement over Gryffindor's win, the latter scowling at him as he continued to replay the action to his mother.

"Did you see how fast Harry's broom was Mum?" Rory asked for the second time in as many minutes.

"Yes, sweetheart, I did," Catherine said smiling. They walked toward the entrance to the pitch, Catherine looking for Remus when she saw something from the corner of her eye. She turned quickly, looking at the edge of the forest, but whatever it was had disappeared. She stopped walking and stared at the tree line, but the dark blur did not return. She could have sworn she just saw… no, impossible. She shook her head.

"Mum?" Ellie asked, looking in the direction of the forest as well.

"Sorry, just thought I saw something," Catherine replied, shaking her head. She ushered her children through the entrance and saw Professors McGonagall and Snape, as well as the Headmaster, talking to the group of boys that had apparently decided to dress up like Dementors and try and scare Harry. Actually Professor McGonagall was shouting, Catherine noticed with amusement.

"Draco Malfoy," Ellie said wrinkling her nose in disgust. "Why am I not surprised?"

"Malfoy?" Catherine replied, knowing the name sounded familiar, but unable to place it.

"Yeah, he's a Slytherin and he hates Harry," Ellie replied. "Hates all Gryffindors, actually."

"Hm, I see that rivalry hasn't changed in the last twenty years," Catherine said dryly. Remus walked up to them and Rory immediately began chattering away about the match. They made their way towards the gates, Rory never stopping talking the entire time. When they finally reached them, Ellie glared at Rory.

"Shut it already, will you?" she demanded and Catherine stifled a laugh.

"You two stay here for a moment, I need to talk to Remus about something," Catherine said and pulled Remus a few feet away from the children.

"So, quite the Patronus Harry conjured," she said, smiling at Remus.

"Yes, quite," he agreed, grinning proudly.

"Who's Draco Malfoy?" Catherine asked. "Ellie pointed him out and the name sounds familiar, but I couldn't remember."

"He's Lucius Malfoy's son," Remus said, his voice hardening. "Sirius' cousin Narcissa is his mother."

"Oh, right," Catherine said, nodding. Sirius had told her about his Black cousins once and how Andromeda was the only one worth anything.

"Malfoy was an accused Death Eater," Remus continued. "Wormed his way out of prison claiming he was under the Imperius curse. Narcissa's sister Bellatrix was one of the ones that tortured the Longbottoms. Guess it all really does just run in the family."

"And yet, you haven't shared with Dumbledore that Sirius is an animagus," she shot back, her anger coming to the fore. "Why is that Remus?" Remus said nothing, just glared at her. "Perhaps you don't really think that Sirius is as guilty as you say." Remus glanced to the children who were looking worriedly at them and Catherine sighed.

"Not the time or the place," Remus said and Catherine nodded. "I'm sorry, I just," he trailed off scrubbing a hand down his face.

"I know," she replied, patting his arm. "We'll talk later. Walk Ellie back to the castle?"

"Of course," he said, smiling at her. Catherine made her good-byes to her daughter, who was still scowling at her brother and then she and Rory walked back into Hogsmeade and the Three Broomsticks.

* * *

**6 February 1994**

"Mum," Rory called from the lounge. "Remus is in the floo!" Catherine dried her hands on a kitchen towel and walked into the other room.

"Rory, I need to talk to your Mum for a minute," Remus' head said through the fire. Rory looked disappointed, but Remus continued. "I'll see if you can come to the last match, all right?" Countenance brightening, Rory nodded enthusiastically and ran from the room. Remus looked up at Catherine for a moment.

"Can I come through?" he asked.

"Of course," Catherine said and Remus' head disappeared to be replaced by the man himself. He pulled out his wand and threw up a privacy spell. Catherine glanced at him curiously.

"Sirius was in the castle again," Remus said and Catherine sighed. Her mind immediately returned to what she had thought she saw in the forest yesterday. "Neville, the Longbottom boy, had written down the passwords for the tower and then lost them. Sirius somehow got ahold of the list and got into the tower late last night. Ron Weasley woke up to find Sirius standing over him with a knife, the hangings of his bed slashed to ribbons." Catherine groped behind her for the couch, then sank down onto it.

"I've got to tell Dumbledore," Remus continued. "About Sirius being an animagus. It's got to be how he's been getting into the castle without being recognized." Remus began to pace across the room, muttering to himself while Catherine tried to order the thoughts that were currently racing through her mind.

Sirius, with a knife, in Harry's dormitory. After he had sent the boy the most expensive racing broom on the market which had no curse or hex attached to it. These two facts did not reconcile with each other. She looked up at Remus who was still pacing, then back down at her lap. Logic, she needed to think this through logically.

"Why Ron?" she asked and Remus stopped to look at her in confusion. "Why Ron and not Harry?" Remus waved off her question.

"I'm sure he had no idea which bed, figured he'd search them all but Ron woke up," he said.

"But that's the thing Remus," Catherine continued. "If he didn't know which bed, wouldn't he have searched each one quietly until he found Harry? Why start hacking away at the first bed he came to? Surely he would know that stealth would have served him better than a full-frontal assault. He _was_ a Marauder."

"He's been in Azkaban for twelve years Catherine," Remus said impatiently. "For all we know, his mind's completely gone."

"Then how did he escape in the first place?" she demanded. "No one else has, even those who have been there for a much shorter time than Sirius. He had to have enough wits about him to get out. And if he's thinking clearly enough to escape from an inescapable prison, then he's got to be thinking clearly enough to make a better plan than this." She paused and looked up at Remus who had a strange expression on his face.

"I wonder," he said quietly.

"About what?" she asked. Remus looked at her for a moment and then Catherine's mind pinged. "Animagus," she whispered and Remus nodded.

"Dementors wouldn't affect an animal like they would a person," Remus said. "And they wouldn't be able to detect an animal if it tried to escape. Dementors can't see really, they rely on emotions. Animals don't really have those." Now it was Catherine's turn to get up and pace.

"So Sirius escaped as Padfoot," she said making her way across the room. "That means he was still able to use magic to turn into Padfoot, which means he may have been using his form the entire time he was in prison." She stopped and looked at Remus. "Which means, he probably isn't mad. So that brings me back to my original question. Why Ron?" Remus stared at the ceiling his lips pursed in thought.

"Were the Weasley's involved in the first war?" she asked and Remus shook his head.

"Molly's brothers, Gideon and Fabian were in the Order, but not Arthur and Molly," Remus said. "They were busy raising their children. They had five by the time we graduated."

"So if Sirius isn't mad and it wasn't some kind of revenge on the Weasley's to kill Ron, then why? Why him?" Catherine asked frustration evident in her voice.

"I don't know," Remus said sighing. He sank down onto the couch and put his head in his hands.

"Are you going to tell Dumbledore?" Catherine asked crossing her arms in front of her.

"I don't know," Remus said again, raising his head to look at her. "He had a knife Catherine."

"I know, but Remus, there's something else going on here," Catherine said and that nudge from the back of her brain was happening again. It was something about Ron Weasley, of that she was sure, but she just couldn't pull together what exactly. "Something about Ron, something I should be able to figure out, I just can't grasp what it is." She growled in annoyance that she couldn't seem to keep hold of her thoughts.

"And if Sirius is really mad or dangerous or any of those other things that they say he is, then why hasn't he done anything yet?" she asked. "He could have stabbed Ron and still gotten away. But he didn't. Better yet, he could have easily found Harry and done away with him. But he didn't. And why send Harry that broom? He's not acting very much like a Death Eater or like he wants to harm Harry or anyone else."

"I know, none of it makes sense," Remus said angrily, pounding his fist down on the arm of the couch. Catherine sighed. They weren't going to figure this out today, that much was sure. "I won't tell Dumbledore," Remus continued, sighing softly. Catherine looked at him hopefully. "For now," he amended. Catherine nodded. Remus rose and walked back to the fireplace, cancelling the privacy spell as he went. "If you think of anything," he said looking back at her.

"I'll call you right away," she said. He nodded and then threw the floo powder into the grate, disappearing in a whirl of green flame.

* * *

**12 February 1994**

Catherine heard the floo roar to life as she walked towards the stairs. Her mother had taken the children with her to the market and Catherine had intended on tidying up their rooms while they were gone. She turned to the lounge and was surprised to find a very agitated Remus Lupin striding towards her.

"Remus, what's happened?" she asked as he caught sight of her.

"Harry, that's what's happened," he said his eyes flashing with anger. "Harry and this," he thrust a piece of parchment at her which she took in puzzlement.

"Blank parchment?" she asked, looking at him strangely. He huffed in annoyance then tapped the parchment with his wand.

"I solemnly swear I am up to no good," he muttered. Catherine glanced up at him and he colored. She bit her cheek to keep from laughing, then gasped when words began to appear on the front. She read them silently. _'Mssrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot , and Prongs, purveyors of aids to magical mischief-makers are proud to present...'._ She looked back at Remus. "The Marauder's Map?" He nodded, looking a bit sheepish. "What on earth?" she said turning back to the map.

"Open it," he said. She unfolded the parchment and lines and dots began to appear. After a moment, she realized she was looking at a map of Hogwarts, individual people denoted by small dots that actually moved. She ran a finger over the dot of Albus Dumbledore who seemed to be pacing in his office. Severus Snape was in the dungeons and Minerva McGonagall and Poppy Pomfrey seemed to be in the staff room. "You made this?" she asked dumbfounded.

"Yes," he said sighing. "We finished it just at the beginning of sixth year. Filch confiscated it during one of James and Sirius' detentions in seventh year, right after you left. I have no idea how Harry got his hands on it." Catherine continued to stare at the map, watching dots of various students as they moved around the castle. She searched Ravenclaw tower and found Ellie's dot next to Tess' in the common room. The entire thing was fascinating.

"Remus, this is," Catherine paused, watching Ellie and Tess' dots as they left Ravenclaw tower and headed to the Great Hall. "This is amazing." His mouth quirked into half a grin.

"Yes, well, it took us almost two years to get it to work, but that's not the point," he said. "Harry used this to sneak into Hogsmeade today and who knows what else. I have no idea just how long he's had it. He got caught by Snape and if we hadn't worked certain charms into it to keep it from revealing to anything but the pass phrase, he would have ended up in detention."

"What did it do instead?" Catherine asked and Remus did the half-grin again.

"Insulted him," he said and she snorted. She could just imagine what kind of insults the remnants of the Marauder's teenage selves had come up with.

"Again that's not the point," Remus continued his voice growing hard again. "Harry is not supposed to be anywhere on his own. This was incredibly stupid of him and if I find out who gave him the map and encouraged him to use it." He shook his head, his face red with anger.

"Remus, calm down," Catherine said. "He's a thirteen year old boy. Don't you remember what it was like to be thirteen?"

"Yes, but I didn't have a madman after me," Remus said harshly.

"I thought we went over this last week," Catherine said, her lips in a thin line. "Sirius isn't mad and he's not after Harry."

"I wasn't talking about Sirius," Remus retorted. Catherine looked at him, her eyes narrowed.

"You've come round then?" she asked.

"That's not what I said," Remus replied, shaking his head. "I do agree that there's something going on that we don't understand, but I didn't say I thought Sirius was innocent. But even if Sirius isn't after Harry, Voldemort certainly has been and I'd definitely consider him a madman. Not to mention many of his followers that managed to worm their way out of Azkaban." Catherine nodded, deciding to take what she could get.

"I assume you let Harry know of your disappointment," she continued, smirking a bit. He glared at her.

"This isn't funny," he said.

"I'm sorry," she replied, sobering. She stepped forward and hugged him. He sighed and rested his chin on top of her head. "What are you going to do with this?" she asked, stepping back and holding the map out to him.

"Keep it for now," he replied, taking it from her. He tapped it again, said "mischief managed" and tucked it into the pocket of his robes. She pressed her lips together but couldn't quite suppress a giggle. He glared at her again, then chuckled himself.

"Yes, we were immature sixteen year olds," he said. "Anyway, at least it gives me a way to look for Sirius. The map extends to the grounds, just up to the edge of the Forbidden Forest. If he tries to get into the castle again and I've got the map," Remus trailed off and shrugged his shoulders. "I should probably get back," he said.

"Let me know if you see anything," she said quietly and he looked at her for a few moments before he nodded. "Try not to be too hard on Harry," she continued. "He is just a boy, after all."

"I know," Remus sighed. "But he's all I've got left. Of all of them." As he disappeared through the fireplace, Catherine realized he wasn't just speaking about James and Lily.

* * *

**11 April 1994**

Catherine took a deep breath before she stepped into the floo. She was heading to Hogwarts for her first day of work in the hospital wing. Poppy had wanted her to study a few texts on basic healing before Catherine began work and then it had been so close to the Easter holidays, they had both decided that it would be best if she just started afterward.

Catherine wore her simple black work robes, but once she arrived Poppy had insisted she put on an apron and tie her hair back. Catherine twisted it up into a low bun on the back of her head, securing it magically. Poppy looked her up and down once she'd finished and seemed to approve, for she nodded before beginning to give Catherine a tour of the stockroom in the ward.

After explaining where everything was located, Poppy gave her a pop quiz on various ailments and how she would treat them. Catherine did very well, only unsure on some of the more obscure diseases that were rarely seen, especially in children. As they were talking, two young girls walked into the infirmary. One had tears running down her face and the other had her arm around the first protectively.

"Miss Bones, Miss Abbott, what seems to be the problem?" Madame Pomfrey asked.

"Hannah got bitten by a Fanged Geranium, Madame Pomfrey," one of the girls said. "Professor Sprout was out of salve, so she sent us here."

"All right, let's take a look at it shall we," the medi-witch replied, bustling Hannah to the nearest bed. As Catherine watched, Poppy took Hannah's arm carefully in her hand and turned it gently, looking at the bite. "Catherine, what do you think?" she asked, gesturing toward the girl's arm. Both girls looked at her curiously as Catherine stepped closer. The bite wasn't very deep, nor did it seem to have done any tearing. There were two small puncture marks in the middle of Hannah's forearm. As Catherine described the treatment she would use, Madame Pomfrey nodded in agreement.

"Very well," she said to Catherine. "Please get the potion and salve and I'll clean the wound." Catherine turned, smiling to herself at her first success and walked toward the potions cabinet. She heard Hannah sniffle and then the other girl spoke up.

"Madame Pomfrey," she said. "Who is that?"

"Girls," Poppy said as Catherine reapproached the bed. "This is Ms. Powell. She is training to be a healer and she'll be working here a couple of days a week. Catherine, this is Susan Bones and Hannah Abbott."

"Nice to meet you," she said and the girls nodded at her. Catherine handed the salve to Poppy who liberally applied it to Hannah's arm, wrapping a bandage around it when she was done. Catherine gave the pain potion to Hannah who drank it down with a grimace, then handed the vial back to her.

"All right, all done then," Poppy said, patting Hannah's knee. "You may return to Herbology and tell Professor Sprout that I'll be sure to send some more salve down to her later today." Both girls nodded and Catherine handed Hannah a handkerchief to wipe her eyes.

"Hannah," Catherine said, then looked to Poppy who looked a bit puzzled, but nodded all the same. "You should be sure to keep the bandage dry while the bite heals. If you like, I can cast a small shield charm around it. That way you don't have to worry when you wash your hands or shower. It will stay until the bandage is removed." Hannah smiled and nodded and Catherine drew her wand, muttering the spell.

"Thank you," Hannah said shyly.

"You're quite welcome," Catherine said returning her smile and the girls turned and left the hospital wing. Catherine turned back to Poppy who had a strange look on her face. Catherine hoped she hadn't overstepped her bounds.

"What made you think to do that?" Poppy finally asked.

"I've been reading healing books at work ever since you told me about your idea for me to train here," Catherine admitted. "There was one on pediatric healing and the spell was mentioned there. I broke my arm when I was eight and I remember how hard it was to keep the cast dry. I just thought this would make it easier for her." Catherine stood quietly, waiting for Poppy's response. The medi-witch said nothing for a moment and then she smiled.

"It seems I made a good choice," Poppy finally said and Catherine grinned. The two then began to discuss Catherine's reading, Poppy going so far as to send an owl to Flourish and Blotts to request the book.

Only one other student came into the hospital wing that day, a fifth year complaining of a stomach ache. Catherine gave him a stomach soothing potion after she had found he had no fever and sent him back to his dorm to rest, his stomach troubles most likely a result of the upcoming O.W.L. tests. When she left for the day, Catherine had a wide grin on her face, knowing that she had made the right choice of career and doubly determined to pass her N.E.W.T.s as quickly as possible.

* * *

**A/N - I know that JKR never said that Harry told Remus about what he was hearing when the Dementors were around, but given all the time they spent together working on the Patronus, I've decided to believe that he did. I've also always thought that Remus wasn't entirely sure of Sirius' guilt or he would have told Dumbledore about Sirius being an Animagus right away. And I've always suspected that he started to figure things out before the night in the Shrieking Shack. Catherine will just help him along a bit. :) Thanks for reading and please let me know what you think! **


	31. Putting Pieces in Place

**A/N - All right everyone, we're coming to the end here. There are only two chapters left after this one. I have started writing the sequel and someone asked what it was called, but it does not have a title yet, as I am horrible with titles. Also, just as a reminder, if you would like a response to your review, make sure you are logged in and that you have the messaging feature enabled in your profile. Enjoy! :)**

**Chapter 31**

**Putting Pieces in Place**

**16 April 1994**

Rory sat quietly in the corner of the infirmary, lounging on one of the beds watching his mother bustle around gathering bandages and bruise salve. The whole of the Slytherin quidditch team was in the hospital wing, complaining of one injury or another. Personally, Rory thought they were all a bunch of babies. He didn't see anyone from the Gryffindor team here and they had all been banged up too. It was probably because Slytherin had lost that they were all here. The Gryffindors were most likely too excited about winning the cup to let a few bumps and bruises bother them.

Rory sighed. He knew there was probably a party going on in the Gryffindor common room. He had tried to convince his mother to let him stay with Ellie in Ravenclaw tower, figuring he could sneak out and find his way to Gryffindor. He might have even been able to convince Will and Ethan to come along with him. They surely knew where the tower was and once there, he was convinced he could find some way inside. Obviously, his mother had some idea of what he'd been up to, for she forced him to come to work with her instead. Even though she wasn't supposed to be working today.

Ellie had told him that she had met Harry Potter after they had both collapsed when the dementors had swarmed the pitch back in November. Rory had begged Ellie to introduce them after the match, but Ellie had refused, telling Rory to stop being such a child. Rory rolled his eyes thinking about it. His sister was so annoying sometimes.

Rory wondered where Remus' office was. He sat up straighter on the bed at the thought. Remus had been a Gryffindor, he probably even knew how to get into the common room, since he was a teacher and all. If he could find Remus, maybe he could go to that party after all. Watching his mother to make sure she was occupied, Rory slowly slid off the bed he had been sitting on. He slunk to the far wall of the infirmary, walking towards the door, keeping an eye on his mother the entire time. He wasn't sure where Madame Pomfrey was, she had gone back into the storeroom to get something a few minutes ago and hadn't returned. Most of the students were lying moaning on the beds, not paying attention to anything around them and so Rory quietly opened the door, squeezing through and closing it silently behind him. Smiling to himself, he set off down the corridor, trying to decide just where Remus' office would be.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, Catherine had applied the last of the bruise salve to Bole, one of the beaters. Her mouth was in a thin line and had been the entire time she had been treating her patients, disgusted at their behavior during the match. And now they all lay moaning on their beds, when the worst injury any of them had was the cut on Marcus Flint's hand. She was surprised that none of the Gryffindor players had come in for treatment, given the fact that they had all been roughed up as well. But, she supposed, victory tended to make a few injuries less important.

"All right Mr. Bole, you may go," she said as she finished rubbing the salve on his cheek where Derrick's head had hit him when they'd crashed into each other. He groaned.

"Are you sure?" he asked, his face looking pained. "It's only, I feel like maybe my cheek is broken."

"I assure you that your cheek is most certainly not broken, simply bruised. The salve should take care of that by tomorrow," Catherine continued, her voice clipped. "I'm sure you would be much more comfortable in your own bed." Bole began grumbling under his breath, but did get up and leave the ward, Miles Bletchly, who had not been hurt, but come with the team for 'moral support', leaving with him.

Sighing, Catherine surveyed the rest of the beds. Poppy was finishing with Flint. Derrick and Montague were getting up and leaving as well and Warrington and Draco Malfoy sat on a bed across from Flint, waiting as Poppy finished healing his hand. When the three of them had left, Poppy turned to Catherine.

"Thank you for staying to help," she said and Catherine nodded.

"Not a problem," she replied. "I used almost all of the bruise salve. Professor Snape will need to make you some more."

"All right," Poppy said. "I'll let him know. And you know, you can call all of the teachers by their first names now." The matron smirked at her and Catherine colored a bit. She had barely gotten used to calling Poppy by her first name and she couldn't imagine doing so to professors she had had as teachers herself. And Snape, well, she just couldn't picture him as anything but Snape. Using professor when referring to him was the best she could do.

"Rory," Catherine said, turning to the bed her son had been occupying while she had worked. She was surprised to see that the bed was empty. She went into Poppy's office, but her son was not there either.

"Poppy, have you seen Rory?" she asked the medi-witch, who was currently waving her wand at the beds, sending the dirty linens to the house-elves and replacing them with clean sets.

"Wasn't he there in the corner?" Poppy replied without turning around.

"Yes, but he's not here now," Catherine said, her voice rising a notch. Poppy looked back at Catherine.

"I'm sure he's here somewhere," she said. The two searched the entire infirmary and the storeroom, but Rory was nowhere to be found.

"Do you have any idea where he would have gone?" Poppy asked when they'd finished their search. Catherine was pacing up and down the ward, her heart beating quickly. She wasn't worried, exactly. She figured that Rory had either decided to go to Ravenclaw tower or perhaps he had just wanted to explore the castle. Still, there were many things a young boy could stumble upon that made her nervous.

"May I use your floo?" Catherine asked.

"Of course," Poppy replied ushering her into the office. Catherine threw the powder into the grate and called out for Remus' offices.

"Remus," she said as he appeared. "Is Rory there with you by chance?"

"No, I haven't seen him since you left the match," Remus replied. "Is there a problem?"

"He was here in the hospital wing with me, but he's disappeared," Catherine said. "He might have gone to find Ellie, I'll call Professor Flitwick."

"I'll be right there," Remus replied and Catherine pulled her head from the fireplace long enough to switch to Flitwick's office. The Charms professor checked Ravenclaw tower and spoke with Ellie, but she hadn't seen her brother since the match either. Poppy talked to Minerva, who braved the wild party in the Gryffindor common room, but Rory was not there, nor had anyone seen him. In the meantime, the crowd in the hospital wing had begun to grow. Ellie and Tess had arrived with Will and Ethan in tow, Remus and Filius were there and Minerva joined them a few moments later.

"I've notified the headmaster and he's sent messages to all the staff. If anyone finds him, they are to bring him here," she said.

"I'm sorry to be so much trouble," Catherine said, her face reddening.

"Nonsense, Catherine," Professor Flitwick replied. He began assigning parts of the castle for everyone to search. Remus met Catherine's eye over the top of Filius' head. 'Map' he mouthed and Catherine breathed a sigh of relief and nodded. Remus slipped from the room and headed back to his office. "We'll all meet back here in thirty minutes," Filius was saying. "If you find him, come back to the hospital wing straight away." The searchers all nodded and left the hospital wing, Catherine waiting behind in case Rory returned. She resumed her pacing, her anger growing at her impulsive son. She heard the doors open behind her and assumed that Remus had returned with the map. When she spun around though, she saw something else entirely.

Severus Snape was striding into the hospital wing, towing a rather frightened-looking Rory by one arm.

"This belongs to you, I take it," he sneered in Catherine's direction, indicating the child he held in his grip.

"Rory Thomas," Catherine exclaimed, her hands on her hips. "Just what _were_ you thinking?" Her son hung his head and scuffed the toe of his shoe on the floor.

"I believe your mother asked you a question," Snape said in a menacing tone, shaking the boy ever so slightly. Rory looked up at the potions professor and gulped visibly. Catherine had to bite her cheek to keep from laughing. Snape could be very intimidating and while Catherine wouldn't normally want to frighten her children, in this case she wasn't going to complain.

"I-I," Rory stuttered and then swallowed again. Snape continued to glare at him. Rory tore his gaze away from the man and looked to Catherine. "I'm sorry Mum," he said quietly, then looked back down at the floor. Snape released his arm and his gaze turned to Catherine.

"I found him wandering around the dungeons, dangerously close to my lab," Snape said, his voice low, but full of contempt. "Perhaps you should keep a better eye on your spawn in future." Catherine gaped at him for a moment then drew herself to her full height, her anger threatening to boil over.

"How dare you," she hissed but before she could continue, Remus reentered the ward.

"Catherine, I've got," he looked up and saw Snape and Rory standing in front of him, then glanced to Catherine and the fury on her face. "Oh, I see you've found Rory, Severus," he said genially, as he tucked the map into the pocket of his robes.

"Yes," Snape replied, looking at the boy with bit of disgust. "Lupin, please do see to it that your," he looked Catherine up and down in disdain, "_friend_ actually watches her children the next time she decides to invade the castle." And then he spun and stalked from the room, his robes billowing menacingly behind him.

"That, that," Catherine sputtered before Remus took her arm and shook his head, glancing at Rory.

"Rory, perhaps you should go sit down over there while your mother and I have a quick chat," Remus said, pointing to a chair near the back of the infirmary.

"And you had better stay there, young man," Catherine threatened. "Pretend your bum is glued to the seat." Rory hung his head and shuffled to the chair Remus had indicated, slumping down into it. Remus drew Catherine into Poppy's office, silencing it once he'd closed the door.

"You mustn't let Severus get to you," he began and Catherine just looked at him murderously.

"He called Rory my spawn," she spat. "And then he insinuated that you and I, that we," she broke off growling exasperatedly. "He knows I'm working here, that I have every right to be in the castle and bring my children if I so choose." Her eyes were flashing dangerously and Remus could see the tension in her neck.

"Catherine, calm down," Remus soothed. "The remark he made about you and I was directed at me, I assure you. He's upset that he hasn't been able to get a rise out of me this year. I've been friendly towards him and he hates it. It's quite amusing actually." Remus chuckled and Catherine scowled at him.

"He said it in front of my _son_!" Catherine exclaimed.

"And I'm sure it went straight over Rory's head," Remus assured her. "He was much too worried about what you and Severus were going to do with him, to be entertaining thoughts of his mother's love life." Catherine huffed.

"Fine," she finally said, still fuming. "Now I know why you all loathed him so much. He _is_ a greasy git." Remus chuckled again and the two left the office so Catherine could deal with Rory. Her son looked up when the office door opened and then immediately back down at his lap. Catherine forced herself to calm, but the stern look never left her face as she marched over to him.

"Now," she said hard edge to her voice. "Tell me just _wha_t you thought you were doing."

"I was bored," he said quietly swinging his legs a little and not looking at her. "I thought I would go and find Remus."

"Without telling me?" she asked, crossing her arms in front of her.

"Well you wouldn't have let me go if I had," he replied, almost defiantly.

"That's right, I wouldn't have because you have absolutely no idea where Remus' office is, not to mention the fact that you've never been inside the castle before today," Catherine said in exasperation. "Just how did you think you would find it?"

"I don't know," he shrugged. "I guess I didn't think it was that big."

"Rory," Catherine continued, trying very hard to keep her composure. "You've seen how big it is from the outside. Why on earth would you think it wasn't that big inside?"

"I don't know Mum, I'm sorry," he said. Catherine took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"You've lost your broom for two weeks," she began, but Rory interrupted.

"Two weeks!" he exclaimed. Rory had been making frequent trips to Myra's to fly with Owen in their meadow.

"Would you like to make it a month?" she growled menacingly.

"No, Mum," he said quickly.

"And you are grounded for a week," she continued. He opened his mouth to protest, but shut it quickly at the expression on her face.

"Can I still go to Kevin's party on Saturday?" he asked quietly, mentioning a boy in his class who was having his birthday the next weekend.

"We'll see how you behave this week," Catherine said. "Now the rest of the teachers should be back in a few minutes. You'll apologize to all of them for wasting their time having to look for you." Rory looked up at her his mouth hanging open. She simply raised her eyebrows and he closed his mouth, nodding in surrender. "You can start with Remus."

"Sorry Remus," Rory said miserably, not even looking at the man.

"Excuse me," Catherine said, holding up a hand to keep Remus from responding. "I'm sure you can come up with a better apology than that." Rory stood and came to stand in front of Remus, looking him in the eye.

"I'm very sorry that you had to go and look for me, Remus," Rory said. "It won't happen again."

"See that it doesn't," Remus said a bit sternly, then clapped Rory on the shoulder and smiled. Ellie and her friends came into the hospital wing just then and Ellie ran to her brother, first hugging him and then punching him in the arm. Catherine pressed her lips together to keep from smiling at her daughter.

"You prat, did you know how worried I was about you?" Ellie demanded, hands on her hips. Remus looked at Catherine and raised an eyebrow, looking from Ellie to Catherine. Catherine just stuck her tongue out at him.

"Sorry, El," Rory replied, then looked at the rest of the group. "Sorry that you all had to go looking for me."

"It's all right Rory," Ethan said. "Glad Professor Lupin found you."

"Oh, I didn't find him," Remus said, smirking a bit.

"Who then, Professor?" Tess asked.

"Professor Snape," Remus replied and all four children grimaced.

"Bad luck there, mate," Will said, shaking his head sympathetically. Rory just shivered.

"Yes, well, at least he was found," Catherine said. "Why don't you all go back to your dorms now." The four nodded and Ellie hugged her mother and then gave her brother another glare before hugging him too. As they left, Poppy, Filius, Minerva and the headmaster returned.

"Ah, Mr. Powell, it seems you have been found," Dumbledore said happily. "I'll just let the rest of the staff know." He drew his wand and cast a Patronus, then spoke to it before the phoenix flew gracefully away.

"Rory, do you have something to say to the professors?" Catherine prompted when Rory remained silent.

"I'm very sorry that I caused so much trouble and that you all had to take time to look for me," Rory said. "I promise that nothing like this will ever happen again.

"Ah, quite all right, my boy, quite all right," Dumbledore said. "No trouble at all."

"Albus, don't encourage the boy," Minerva said disapprovingly and Remus just chuckled. "I certainly hope, Mr. Powell, that you will have outgrown this kind of foolishness before you come to study at Hogwarts." She looked at him sternly and Rory lowered his gaze.

"Yes ma'am," Rory said quietly. Minerva nodded her head sharply.

"Well, I suppose we've caused enough difficulty for one day," Catherine said. "We had better get home."

"Why don't you just floo from here," Filius said. "I can change the wards to allow young Rory through."

"Thank you Professor," Catherine said, then, at his pointed look, "Sorry, I mean, Filius." He smiled at her and they all entered Poppy's office. A few moments later, Rory and Catherine were once again in their lounge.

"Room until dinner," Catherine said shortly and Rory hung his head, dragging his feet up the stairs to his room. Catherine sank down onto the couch, sighing loudly. What a day it had been.

* * *

**2 June 1994**

Catherine was organizing potions in the storeroom of the hospital wing, when she heard the door of the ward open. She hoped it wasn't anything too serious, as Poppy had gone to speak to Snape about what potions they would need restocked to get them through the end of the school year. While she had confidence in her abilities and Poppy did as well, Catherine knew she would still need help to deal with any real emergency.

She stepped from the stockroom and looked into the ward. A woman in gauzy shawls, her arms covered in bracelets, strings of beads around her neck, stood near the doorway, glancing around the room. She turned toward Catherine and Catherine saw that she wore thick glasses which magnified her eyes enormously. The effect was somewhat comical, but caught Catherine by such surprise that she was speechless for a moment.

"Hello," the woman said ethereally and Catherine realized this must be Sybil Trelawney, the Divination professor. Poppy had spoken of her when telling Catherine of the current staff, but Catherine had never actually seen her. Apparently, she did not come down from her tower very often.

"Hello," Catherine replied. "May I help you?"

"I was looking for Poppy," Sybil said, her voice taking on a misty quality as she looked dreamily around the ward.

"She had to step out for a moment to discuss something with Professor Snape," Catherine explained. "I'm Catherine Powell, the apprentice healer." She held out her hand to the other woman, who looked at it in confusion for moment before looking back up at Catherine.

"Yes, yes, I know who you are," Sybil said as Catherine let her hand drop back to her side. "My inner eye informed me the moment you set foot in the castle." Catherine studied the woman before her. Never one for imprecise subjects, Catherine had not even considered taking Divination during her time at Hogwarts. Although Sybil had not been teaching during Catherine's school years, meeting the professor of the subject in person, Catherine decided she had made a wise choice.

"Is there something I can do for you?" Catherine asked again.

"No, no, my dear, I was hoping to speak to Poppy," Sybil replied. "Perhaps I shall return at a later time, although it can be so overwhelming coming into the heart of the castle too often." She sighed dramatically and it was all Catherine could do to keep from laughing.

"You're welcome to wait, if you like," Catherine managed to say and Sybil looked at her, blinking owlishly for a moment before nodding.

"Thank you, my dear, I'll just rest a bit." She sat down on one of the beds and closed her eyes. She began to hum under her breath and Catherine had to cover her mouth with her hand while escaping back into the storeroom. Once there, she shut the door and quickly silenced the room before allowing the laughter to escape. Merlin, she did hope that Ellie did not want to take Divination as an elective.

Shaking her head, Catherine got her laughter under control, dropped the spell and opened the door once more to listen for Poppy's return. Turning back to her task, she began to move bottles around on the shelves again, counting them as she went.

Catherine was so caught up in her task that she didn't hear the footsteps approaching until a voice said, "Excuse me." Jumping, Catherine put a hand to her chest and turned to see Sybil standing in front of her.

"I am sorry, my dear, but something is telling me that I should do a reading for you," the woman said, peering at Catherine through her thick lenses.

"Oh, that's all right, I don't want to bother you," Catherine said trying to smile.

"It is not a bother, it is something that must be done," Sybil insisted, reaching out a hand to take Catherine's. Mentally rolling her eyes, Catherine extended her palm to the Divination professor, preparing to bite her cheek to keep from laughing. Sybil ran a finger down Catherine's palm and hummed to herself.

"See anything horrible happening?" Catherine couldn't help asking. Sybil ignored her and continued to peer at Catherine's hand.

"My dear, it seems that something tragic will soon befall your father." She turned Catherine's hand over and patted the back of it. "A horrible accident, I'm afraid."

"Well, that would have been good to know nine years ago," Catherine said, trying not to smirk at the woman in front of her. "When he died." To her credit, Sybil didn't flinch or change expression, she just smiled and patted Catherine's hand again.

"If only we had met sooner," Sybil said. "I might have been able to help prevent his death." She sighed and shook her head regretfully. Catherine chose not to point out that her father had died from cancer and not an accident.

"Well, I had best get back to work," she said, trying to disengage her hand from Sybil's grasp. "Poppy should be back any minute." Sybil stared at her for a moment longer, not releasing her hand, and then all of a sudden, she seemed to go rigid, her eyes glazing over. She gripped Catherine's hand so tightly, Catherine was afraid her fingers would break. Sybil's mouth opened and she began to speak, although it was not the same voice that Catherine had just been listening to.

"_Pet, but not a pet, all thought dead,_

_Swimming in a sea of red._

_If this one you find, before it's too late,_

_Another you may save from his fate." _

She finished speaking and her eyes closed. Catherine's heart was beating rapidly and she tried in vain to wrench her hand from the professor's grasp. Sybil shook her head, as if clearing it and looked around the room in confusion. She focused in on Catherine and finally released her hand.

"I'm sorry, dear, what were you saying?" she asked genially and Catherine took a slight step backwards. Before she could say anything the door to the ward opened and Poppy stepped in.

"Oh, hello, Sybil," she said, seeing the professor standing with Catherine. "What can I do for you?"

"I just need a moment of your time, Poppy," Sybil replied and Poppy nodded, ushering her into her office. When the two women had gone, Catherine sank down onto the stool in the storeroom. Still trying to control her racing heart, she thought back to what the woman had said. It had seemed as if she was in some kind of trance and she didn't seem to have any recollection of the words she had spoken. Or at least, that's what she wanted Catherine to believe.

She thought again about how Sybil's voice had changed and her stare became vacant before she spoken the lines of the poem. Definitely different than her usual misty personality. Had it been a true prediction then? Ridiculous, Catherine scoffed immediately. She had never had an easy time believing in seers or prophecies. She felt it was all just a lot of rubbish, really. The logical way she approached problems and tasks didn't allow for anything as fanciful as reading palms or tea leaves or gazing into crystal balls. Catherine snorted as she thought this, for what was magic itself but something she would consider fanciful, had she not found out she was a witch at age eleven.

Regardless, Catherine had no idea what the short poem had meant. She had no trouble reciting the lines again to herself, they seemed to have burned themselves into her brain. As she went through them for the third time, that annoying prickling in the back of her brain began again. It had been going on since Ron Weasley had seen Sirius hovering over his bed. Frustrated that she couldn't make the connection, Catherine huffed in irritation. She stood and left the storeroom, intending on finding Remus and getting his opinion when Poppy's office door opened.

Poppy and Sybil came out of the office and the latter turned toward Catherine.

"So nice to have spent some time with you, my dear," Sybil said. "Pity we could not have met before tragedy struck." Catherine just nodded as the woman seemed to float out of the room. Once she was gone, Poppy turned to Catherine.

"Let me guess, she predicted someone's imminent demise by tragic accident," Poppy said and Catherine chuckled.

"Yes, my father's actually," Catherine replied. "Although he's been dead for nine years and not from an accident." Poppy shook her head and rolled her eyes.

"I swear that woman feels she must predict certain doom on every new staff member she meets. Does the same with one child in each class every year." Catherine began to twist a lock of hair around her fingers, wondering if she should mention the poem to Poppy. Deciding against it, she straightened and smiled at the older woman.

"Yes, well, I've never really put much stock in Divination anyway," she said. "I've finished the stockroom. Was there anything else you wanted me to do?"

"No, dear, thank you," Poppy said. "You can head home if you like."

"I think I'll just visit Remus for a few minutes before I go," Catherine replied.

"All right, I'll see you in a few days." Poppy smiled and went back into her office and Catherine took off her apron, then turned to make her way toward Remus' quarters.

Before she had even made it out of the ward, however, she stopped and slapped her palm against her forehead. Rory. He was visiting Owen at Myra's and Catherine was supposed to pick him up on her way home. Normally, Myra wouldn't mind if she were a little late, but Myra and Ian were going to some work function of Ian's that evening. Sighing, Catherine turned back around to Poppy's office.

"I thought you were going to visit with Remus," Poppy said in puzzlement as Catherine stepped through the door.

"I forgot that I needed to pick up Rory from Myra's," Catherine explained. "I'll speak to Remus later this evening."

"All right, dear," Poppy replied, turning back to the charts she was going through. "Do tell Myra I said hello, won't you?"

"Of course Poppy," Catherine smiled and stepped into the floo, whirling away toward Myra's house.

* * *

When she stepped through, the house was in chaos. One of the twins was sobbing and Myra was calling for Owen to bring the basket of clean linens upstairs and yelling at Alexis to get away from her sister. Catherine stepped into the kitchen and found Rory sitting at the table looking at a magazine.

"What's going on?" Catherine asked her son.

"Anna sicked up everywhere Mum. The kitchen, the stairs, the bathroom and just now her bed. I've never seen so much sick," he said quietly. The look on his face was one of disgust, but his voice sounded awed. Boys, Catherine thought, shaking her head. "Owen and Alexis are helping. I'm staying out of the way."

"Smart of you," Catherine said with a chuckle. "Let me just go up and tell Myra I'm taking you home, all right?" Rory nodded and went back to his magazine. Catherine climbed the stairs and walked toward the girls' room. She ran into Owen coming out of the room, his nose wrinkled in disgust.

"Anna all right?" she asked and he shrugged.

"Not really," he said. "Mum's sent me for ginger ale." He continued down the stairs and Catherine heard him say something to Rory as he passed through. She continued into the girls' room.

Myra was sitting on Anna's bed, holding the girl on her lap while she cried. She was smoothing her hair with one hand, her wand in the other, vanishing the last of the sick. Catherine glanced at Alexis, who was sitting on her own bed, her eyes wide, nibbling on her lower lip. Catherine sat down beside her, wrapping and arm around her.

"She'll be fine in a day or so, don't you worry," Catherine told Alexis. Alexis nodded her head, but Catherine could see the sheen of tears gathering. "It's all right, sweetheart, I know you're worried about your sister." She gathered the little girl onto her own lap and Myra looked at Catherine gratefully as she continued to rock Anna.

"Times like these I wish we had a house-elf," Myra sighed, placing a kiss atop Anna's head. Catherine chuckled as she rubbed Alexis' back.

"What can I do to help?" Catherine asked, but Myra shook her head.

"Nothing really," she replied. "I've already flooed Ian and told him I won't be coming tonight."

"I can watch the children for you," Catherine offered.

"Thanks, but I wouldn't feel right leaving," Myra said apologetically and glanced down at the now dozing girl on her lap. Catherine nodded, knowing just how the other woman felt.

"Well, let me at least get dinner for Owen and Alexis before I go," Catherine said. She looked down at the girl on her own lap who was looking a bit drowsy herself.

"Oh Merlin, I hope they don't all get it," Myra said as she looked worriedly at her other daughter. Catherine brought a hand to Alexis' forehead, but it was thankfully cool.

"Maybe it was just all the commotion," she said, as Alexis' eyes closed.

"You're probably right," Myra agreed, easing Anna off her lap and laying her down in her bed. She covered her up and smoothed her hair away from her forehead. She crossed the room and took Alexis from Catherine. "I think I'll put her in our room for now. No need to expose her unnecessarily. I'll meet you downstairs." Catherine nodded and turned off the light as she left the girls' bedroom. She met Owen on the stairs, a glass of ginger ale in his hand.

"You might as well take that back down," Catherine said and Owen looked at her in confusion. "She's fallen asleep." He sighed dramatically and turned and stomped back down the stairs. Catherine smirked at his retreating back and followed him down.

"Are you sure there's nothing I can do before I go?" Catherine asked again once Myra had joined them in the kitchen.

"No, but thank you," she said. "I'll just make some sandwiches for Owen and me. If Alexis wakes up, I can fix her something later."

"Do you want me to take Owen with us?" Catherine asked. Myra looked hesitant, but Owen's eyes lit up in excitement.

"I don't know, I wouldn't want to expose Miranda," Myra began, but Catherine shook her head.

"Rory's been here all afternoon, she'd be exposed anyway."

"Oh all right, if you're sure," Myra said.

"Of course," Catherine replied smiling and the boys shouted in glee, jumping up and racing to Owen's room to pack his things. A few minutes later the two boys stepped into the floo together, calling out for Chestnut Hill and Catherine had forgotten all about the mysterious words from Sybil Trelawney.

* * *

**3 June 1994**

Catherine followed Owen through the floo back to his house. Although the boy had flooed many times on his own, Catherine always felt better if she followed and knew he had gotten to his destination. As she stepped through the house was quiet. The pair made their way into the kitchen and found an exhausted Myra sitting at the kitchen table, cup of coffee in front of her.

"Rough night?" Catherine asked as Owen ran up to his room to put away his things.

"Alexis got sick about three in the morning and the two of them alternated every half hour until six this morning. Ian looked like the walking dead when he left for work." Myra yawned widely. "They've both been sleeping since then though. Thanks for keeping Owen last night."

"No trouble at all," Catherine replied smiling. "Although I think Rory was in about the same shape as Ian when he went to school this morning. I wouldn't doubt if Owen has a nap of his own today." Myra chuckled, then yawned again.

"Why don't you go up and rest for a bit?" Catherine suggested. "I'll stay for a while in case the girls wake or Owen needs anything."

"Oh no, that's not necessary," Myra insisted, trying to stifle another yawn.

"Myra, you're exhausted," Catherine insisted. "Go. Sleep." Myra looked up at her friend and finally nodded, dragging herself from the table.

"Just an hour or so," she said. "Wake me up in an hour, I mean it."

"Yes ma'am," Catherine replied giggling a bit as Myra rolled her eyes. She watched her friend climb the stairs and then turned toward the sink. Catherine set the dishes to washing and wiped down the counters and table before deciding to check up on Owen. The boy was lying on his bed reading his latest Quidditch magazine when Catherine knocked on the open door.

"Your mum is taking a little nap, I told her I'd stay in case you needed anything," Catherine explained. Owen nodded.

"She told me when she came up," he said. "I'm okay though."

"I'd like to do something nice for your mum since she's been letting Rory come over so much," Catherine said, stepping into the room. "Do you know if there are any projects or anything she's been intending to do but hasn't gotten to yet?" Owen's brow furrowed in concentration.

"She said yesterday that she was going to take all those old Prophets stacked in the kitchen and burn them in the fire pit," he said. "And something about cleaning something, but I can't remember what she said." Catherine shook her head in amusement. She was surprised he had remembered the one task, actually, although if he was anything like Rory, the fire fascination was probably the reason for that.

"All right, would you like to help me with that?" she asked and Owen's eyes lit up.

"Really?" he said eagerly. "Can I use your wand to light the fire? I've seen Mum do it loads of times, but she never lets me try." He pushed his lips into a pout.

"And for very good reason," Catherine said. "There's a definite wand movement that goes along with Incendio. Get it wrong and you're liable to light your hair on fire."

"That's what Mum says," Owen grumbled and Catherine smiled.

"I was thinking more along the lines of helping me carry the papers outside," she said. He sighed dejectedly. "And maybe, if you're really good, I'll show you the movements while I cast the spell." He looked up at her sharply, wondering if she was having him on. When he saw her genuine smile, he grinned widely and jumped quickly from his bed.

"Okay, let's go," he said and raced down the stairs, Catherine laughing behind him.

They had carried all of the papers outside and Owen was piling some of them into the fire pit.

"That's enough for now," Catherine said as the breeze picked up a bit. "I don't want to get it too full and have burning papers blowing all over the garden." Owen nodded and placed the stack in his hands in and then stepped back. He looked up at Catherine and she smiled and beckoned him towards her. She held out her wand.

"All right, put your hand right here above mine," she told him and Owen did as he was told, settling his grip right above Catherine's. "Now, keep your arm relaxed so I can still do the movements. I'll say the spell this time, but if it works, I'll let you say it the next, all right?" Owen nodded enthusiastically and Catherine smiled. They moved her wand together and Catherine said 'incendio' and the flame jumped from her wand into the pile of newspapers. Owen grinned up at her and Catherine ruffled his hair. "Good job," she said as they watched the papers quickly burn into ash.

Owen stacked in the next set and true to her word, Catherine let him say the spell this time. The flame was not as large as Catherine's had been and they had to cast it again in order to get the entire stack to burn, but it was a success nonetheless. Catherine grinned at the beaming smile on Owen's face. She watched him set the last stack of papers into the pit and position himself in front of her as he had the last two times. They began the wand movements and just as Owen began to utter the spell, Catherine looked at the paper on top of the pile and gasped. Her wand shot to the side as Owen finished the spell and the flames erupted in a small patch of grass a few feet from the pit. Catherine immediately pointed her wand at the grass and said 'aguamenti' and a stream of water shot from the wand extinguishing the flames.

She walked toward the pit, ignoring Owen's protests for the moment that it wasn't his fault, and picked up the Prophet on the top of the stack. There, on the front page, was the picture of the smiling Weasley family on their trip to Egypt that Myra had shown her months ago. Catherine peered at the rat on Ron's shoulder and, all at once, the last piece of the puzzle slammed into place.

"Pet, but not a pet, all thought dead, swimming in a sea of red," she whispered as the Weasley's smiled and waved at her. Sweet Merlin. Ron's pet rat was not a rat at all. He was an animagus. Peter Pettigrew.

Catherine turned back to Owen, the paper still in her hand. He was no longer protesting. In fact, he looked a rather impressive shade of green.

"I'm sorry Owen, it wasn't your fault, something just startled me," Catherine said as she looked at the boy. He merely nodded, pressing his lips tighter together. "Look, there's no harm done, I put out the fire, just a bit of scorched grass. It will grow back." Owen looked up at her and she realized what was about to happen just before he turned his head and threw up into the fire pit.

"Oh, Owen," Catherine said sympathetically. She pointed her wand at the mess in the pit, vanishing it. She put an arm around the boy, rolling the paper and tucking it into her pocket. "Let's get you into bed."

Owen was sick twice more, once on Catherine's shoes, before she finally got him tucked into his bed. He had almost begun to cry after that happened, but she scourgified the mess before he could. When she had him tucked in, she went to Myra's room and regretfully woke her friend.

"I'm sorry to wake you, but Owen's gotten sick too," Catherine said apologetically. Myra groaned and sat up in her bed, rubbing her eyes with the heel of her hand. "We were out in the garden, burning the papers he said that you wanted to get rid of and he sicked up right into the pit."

"I'm sorry Catherine," Myra began, but Catherine waved her off.

"It's not the first time I've dealt with sick children, don't worry about it," she said, giving Myra a smile. "He's sleeping now, but something's come up and I've got to go." Myra nodded and Catherine felt guilty for thinking it, but she was glad her friend was tired and bit out of it at the moment, for she asked no questions about what Catherine meant.

"I hope Rory doesn't get it," Myra said as they walked back to the kitchen.

"Don't worry, I'm sure he'll be fine. I hope yours recover quickly," Catherine replied, then gave Myra a quick hug before stepping into the floo and returning home.

* * *

She had intended to be home just long enough to change her shoes and write her mother a note, before she went to Hogwarts to tell Remus what she had discovered. She was still trying to work out the second half of Sybil's poem. While proving that Pettigrew was alive would certainly help Sirius, there were still the twelve muggles he supposedly blew up, as well as the betrayal of James and Lily. There had to be something more to the situation, but until she could talk to Remus, she wasn't sure just what.

When she arrived home, the house was empty. Brow furrowing she tried to remember if her mother had intended to run any errands that day, but nothing came to mind. Shrugging her shoulders, Catherine went up to her room, washed her feet and ankles and pulled on her robes and a new pair of shoes. Although the scourgify worked very well, Catherine just felt better having washed up as well.

She was on her way back downstairs when the front door opened and her mother walked in, with a very sick looking Rory in tow.

"Oh no," Catherine said, her face falling.

"Oh yes," her mother replied, guiding the boy to the stairs. "Our boy isn't feeling so well."

"I'm not surprised," Catherine said, putting an arm around her son. "Alexis got sick in the middle of the night and Owen succumbed just a few minutes ago. Come on, let's get you into bed."

Rory was tucked in and asleep within minutes and Catherine made her way back down the stairs. She didn't want to leave him just yet, he hadn't actually gotten sick, although he did have a fever, but she was dying to speak to Remus. Heading to the fireplace, she threw in some floo powder and called out for Remus' office. When the floo stopped whirling, she was met with an empty room. Her calls did not bring Remus forth and Catherine huffed in frustration. She knew that exams were this week and obviously Remus must be administering a test. Sighing she pulled back from the floo, intending to try and contact him later that afternoon when she heard a cry from upstairs. Taking the stairs two at a time, she made it just in time for Rory to sick up on her second pair of shoes of the day.


	32. Sickness and Solving Puzzles

**A/N - Next to the last chapter! I apologize in advance for any typos or grammar mistakes you might find in this chapter. My youngest daughter has bronchitis and I haven't gotten much sleep the last few days due to her nightly coughing fits, so I don't think my brain was fully engaged when I was proofing this chapter. I have used the dates from the HP Lexicon here. Another short note at the end of the chapter. Thanks for all the reviews and let me know what you think! **

**Chapter 32**

**Sickness and Solving Puzzles**

**5 June 1994**

Catherine sighed. She was sitting at the kitchen table, her chin propped in her hand, eyes closed. She was exhausted. Rory had been sick all day two days ago and Miranda had joined the party early yesterday morning. Although she and her mother had taken it in turns, Catherine didn't think she'd had more than two hours of uninterrupted sleep in the last 48, mostly dozing for an hour or so before being awoken again. She'd spoken to Myra after Miranda had fallen ill and Anna was almost fully recovered, with Alexis and Owen well on the mend. At least it seemed to last no more than two days, Catherine thought thankfully.

And when she'd checked on him this morning, she discovered that Rory's fever had broken sometime in the night, leaving him cool and resting comfortably. And while hers hadn't broken, Miranda's fever was down considerably from the day before, leaving Catherine to believe she was on the mend as well.

"Good thing too," she muttered. "I don't think I could do another night of this." She thought again how glad she was that Ellie was at school and so had escaped this bout of sickness.

Yawning again, Catherine stood and went into the kitchen for another cup of coffee. Turning and leaning with her back against the sink, she saw a folded newspaper on the opposite counter. Puzzled, she walked and picked it up and then gasped as she saw that it was the Prophet she had taken with her from Myra's house. In the ensuing chaos of the children's illnesses she had completely forgotten about it.

She glanced at the clock in the kitchen and saw that it was nearing 8. She wasn't positive of the exam schedule, but she didn't think that they started until 9, so there was a chance Remus was still in his quarters getting ready to go down to breakfast. Catherine rushed into the lounge and threw the powder into the grate, thrusting her head in almost before the flames had erupted. Calling out for Remus' office, she crossed her fingers that he would be in.

Luck was finally on her side, as he appeared moments after she called his name. She almost wept in relief as he stepped from his bedroom into the living area.

"Catherine?" he said in confusion and then quickly knelt down on the hearth rug. "What is it?"

"I've got something to tell you, something Professor Trelawney said to me and something that I've figured out, but when I called a few days ago you weren't here and then the children got sick and I was up all night and I've just now remembered and," Catherine trailed off, aware that she was babbling and unable to form coherent sentences.

"You're not making a lick of sense, I'm afraid," Remus said with a small smile. "What's this about Sybil?"

"It's too much to get into over the floo, but I can't come through just now. Rory and Miranda have been sick and my mother and I haven't gotten much sleep. She's sleeping now and I don't want to wake her. Are you free at all today?" she asked, looking at him hopefully.

"I've got the first years this morning, but I'm free after lunch," he said.

"Oh, good, that will give me time to get my thoughts in order," she said. "Tell Ellie I said good luck, would you?" He nodded.

"Can you give me a little hint at least?" he asked teasingly, but his smile turned to a frown as her expression hardened.

"It's about Sirius and that rat, Peter Pettigrew," she spat and then she pulled her head from the floo, leaving a very startled Remus Lupin behind.

* * *

After lunch, Catherine flooed to the hospital wing, that being the only fireplace that had been set to allow her through the wards from outside the school. She quickly stepped back in and flooed to Remus' office, not wanting to take the time to walk. He was waiting for her as she came out, stumbling in her haste. She immediately began to pace.

"A few days ago, I was working when Sybil came into the hospital wing," she began. Remus remained silent, watching her closely. "She wanted to talk to Poppy, but Poppy had gone down to Snape's lab to tell him what potions needed restocking. While Sybil waited, she decided to give me a reading." Remus snorted in amusement and Catherine allowed a half smirk to grace her face.

"Yes, she predicted imminent death and destruction," Catherine said and then became serious once more. "But that's not all she said."

"Catherine you have to take anything that woman says with a grain of salt," he said. "I don't like to speak ill of my colleagues, but she's a few bricks shy of a load." It was Catherine's turn to snort now. "Honestly, I have no idea why Albus hired her in the first place." Catherine stopped pacing and turned to Remus.

"This was different," she said. "Her eyes glazed over and she went rigid and her voice, it was different, robotic. And when she was finished, I don't think she had any idea of what she had said." Remus' eyes narrowed.

"And what did she say?" he asked. Catherine took a deep breath and recited the poem once again.

"_Pet, but not a pet, all thought dead,_

_Swimming in a sea of red._

_If this one you find, before it's too late,_

_Another you may save from his fate_."

When Catherine finished, she watched Remus. He had a look of concentration on his face and she could see him mouthing the words of the poem. After a few minutes, he looked at her.

"I don't understand," he admitted.

"Neither did I, at first," she said. "But then I was at Myra's and I saw this. She showed it to me last fall, but I'd forgotten about it." She gave him the Prophet she had brought from Myra's house.

"Why are you giving me a Daily Prophet from July?" he asked, brow furrowing in confusion.

"Look at the picture, just there," she responded, pointing to it.

"The Weasley's on their trip to Egypt," he said. "I still don't understand."

"Look closer," she instructed and he did, scanning the family photograph once again. She saw his eyes slide over where Ron was standing then stop and come back to him. Remus stared at the boy for a moment, bringing the paper closer to his face. Catherine waited, holding her breath. And then, as he looked up, she saw the same look of realization she knew she must have had when she saw the paper in the fire pit.

"Peter," he whispered. She let out the breath she had been holding and nodded.

"I think Sybil might have made an actual prophecy," Catherine said. "The pet has to be Peter and swimming in a sea of red, I thought blood when she first said it, but that family is certainly a sea of red when they're all together. The question is, does the rest of it mean what I think it means?"

"You're thinking that the "another" is Sirius?" Remus asked quietly.

"Yes," Catherine replied. "But short of knowing that Sirius didn't actually kill Peter that day on the street, what would finding Peter do to help Sirius? I mean, even if he didn't kill Peter, there are the twelve muggles, not to mention James and Lily." It was now Remus' turn to pace. Catherine didn't interrupt knowing that this was his way of thinking the problem out. She moved to sit at his desk, idly looking through the papers piled there. Her eyes fixed on the Marauder's map and she whispered the pass phrase and watched as the lines and dots appeared.

She ran a finger over the parchment, marveling again at how intricate and difficult a task it must have been to create and charm it. She was a bit ashamed to find she was surprised that the four of them had managed it. Although she always knew that Sirius was much more brilliant than his grades seemed to reflect. And being able to get into the Auror's program proved that James probably had been as well. Remus, it went without saying how smart he was, although she was positive that Pettigrew was just along for the ride, as he had been his entire time with the Marauder's.

So involved was she in her thoughts that she didn't instantly realize that Remus had stopped pacing. She was still poring over the map, trying to find Ellie when she heard a sharp intake of breath from Remus. She glanced up at him and his face was ashen.

"Remus?" she said as she rose and went to his side. He said nothing for a moment and she was about to shake him a bit, when he finally looked down at her.

"They switched," he whispered. "Merlin help us, they must have switched."

"Switched, switched what?" she asked in confusion. But Remus was shaking his head, his face full of remorse.

"I should have believed him, he swore he was innocent." Remus turned away from her and braced his hands on his desk. "I should have believed him!" he shouted, pounding the desk in frustration.

"Remus what are you talking about?" Catherine asked again.

"Secret-keepers, they must have switched from Sirius to Peter," Remus explained, his voice tight.

"But, why would they do that?" she asked, completely confused. "You said that James didn't trust anyone as much as he did Sirius."

"I don't know," Remus said. "But they had to have done, it's the only thing that makes sense. Someone was betraying James and Lily to Voldemort and I know it wasn't me. And if it wasn't Sirius, then that only leaves," he trailed off, looking at Catherine.

"Peter," she whispered and Remus nodded sadly. "But, he was just, just," she waved her hand in the air as if that would explain everything.

"I think the worst thing we ever did was underestimate Peter," Remus said, his voice hard. "If they did switch secret-keepers and it was Peter who betrayed them, then Sirius would have known and that's why he went after Peter that day."

"And if Peter is still alive," Catherine said, picking up the train of thought. "Then he faked his own death which means it was probably him that blew up the street as a distraction."

"And Sirius was laughing when the Aurors showed up at the irony of it all," Remus finished. "It would be just like him."

"'If this one you find, before it's too late, another you may save from his fate'," Catherine said quickly, her eyes shining. "Then we just have to find Ron Weasley and get his rat from him and we can prove that Sirius didn't do it." Remus sighed and ran a hand down his face. "What?" Catherine said, her heart plummeting into her stomach.

"I'm afraid that Ron's rat, well Peter, is dead," he said and Catherine felt her knees give way. Remus caught her and towed her to the couch near the fireplace. When she was seated, he sat beside her. "Apparently, Hermione's cat got into the boy's dorm and did what cats do. They had quite a row about it. Ron didn't speak to Hermione for some time." Catherine slumped against Remus. This couldn't be it, this couldn't be the end. She had finally figured it out and now it was too late.

"How do you know for sure?" she asked. "He faked his death once and lived as a rat for 12 years. And besides, if he was being threatened by a cat, wouldn't he have just transformed to get away?"

"Perhaps Crookshanks caught him by surprise. Maybe he was sleeping and didn't realize the cat was there. At any rate, there was blood on Ron's sheets and the rat hasn't been seen since," Remus explained. Catherine sighed and leaned her head on Remus' shoulder.

"Do you think that's what he was after?" she asked. "Sirius I mean. All those times he got into the castle. Do you think he was after Pettigrew?" She couldn't bring herself to call the rat by his first name anymore.

"Probably," Remus replied. "It makes sense why he went to Ron's bed now." Catherine nodded.

"We've got to do something Remus, go to Albus or something," Catherine said pleadingly. "And we've got to find Sirius, tell him that we know he's innocent."

"I've been looking Catherine," Remus sighed. "He's never come back. Maybe he heard what happened to Peter somehow and knows it's useless to come here again. As for Albus, we could talk to him, but I don't know what he can do."

"He's the head of the Wizengamot for Merlin's sake, surely he can do _something_," Catherine retorted. "Why didn't Sirius get a bloody trial in the first place?" Catherine stood and began to pace once again, fuming now.

"You have to realize what it was like back then," Remus said gently, trying to calm her down. "Voldemort was gone, and while most people were celebrating his downfall, the Ministry was still dealing with Death Eaters and trying to figure out who was really guilty. More and more Death Eaters were claiming Imperius every day and Sirius' situation seemed so cut and dried that they just wanted to get him into Azkaban as quickly as possible. Remember, there were many of us that were outraged and heartbroken over what had happened to James and Lily, Voldemort's defeat notwithstanding. People wanted justice and once the muggles were killed, well, Sirius didn't really give anyone any reason to think he was innocent with the way that he acted."

"Still, he should have had a trial," Catherine insisted.

"It probably wouldn't have made a difference, even if he had," Remus said. "Peter had disappeared and everyone, including Dumbledore, thought Sirius had been the secret-keeper. They would have just assumed that he was blaming Peter to try and save his own hide." Catherine stopped pacing and tears pricked her eyes.

"That's it then?" she said quietly. "There's nothing else we can do?"

"I'm afraid not," Remus said sadly and he stood and hugged her. Catherine cried into his chest, great, heaving sobs that she hadn't shed since the days after Sirius had left her, all those years ago. To be so close to clearing his name and then having it end like this? It just wasn't fair. And the worst part was that he didn't even know that they knew. He was probably wandering somewhere still thinking that everyone thought him guilty. That thought tore at her heart more than anything.

When she had finally calmed, she pulled her wand and whispered a spell to dry Remus' robes. He looked at her sadly, kissing her forehead and squeezing one of her arms.

"I should go," she said. "Make sure the kids are still okay." He nodded as she walked to the floo.

"I'll keep watching the map," Remus said. "You never know." Catherine nodded and tried to smile, but failed miserably. She gave Remus a half-hearted wave as she stepped into the floo and exited in Poppy's office. The medi-witch glanced up at her in concern as she stepped out, but Catherine did not even give her a chance to voice a question, before she had stepped back in and disappeared once more.

When she stumbled from her own floo, her mother was sitting on the couch. Seeing Catherine's tear-stained face, she gathered her daughter into arms in silence as Catherine began to sob anew.

* * *

**6 June 1994**

Catherine lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. She'd been awake for more than an hour, but she would need to get up soon and get Rory off to school. She was keeping Miranda home for one more day, although she had been doing much better the night before.

Catherine hadn't slept much, tossing and turning at the thought of Sirius sleeping outside somewhere. Even the knowledge that he could turn into a dog and keep himself quite warm and comfortable and the fact that it was nearly summer, didn't reassure her. What was he doing for food? Hunting as a dog, she supposed. She felt as if she had failed him somehow, by not figuring things out sooner.

She wondered where Sirius would go now, if he did indeed know that Peter was gone. Would he continue to wander, live out the rest of his life as a dog? Or maybe he'd leave the UK all together and try and start a life somewhere else where no one knew who he was. Her heart ached that she had come so close to finding him again, only to have it ripped out from under her by a filthy rat.

Catherine rolled to her side and pulled the covers up more tightly around her. She shivered despite the warmth of the now fully risen sun beating in through her window. She glanced at the clock on her bedside table and sighed. It was time to wake up Rory for school.

* * *

An hour later, once Rory was off to school and Miranda settled on the couch watching the telly, Catherine sat at the kitchen table sipping tea. She was supposed to be to work in an hour, but her stomach was feeling a bit off and she hoped the tea would settle it before she had to get ready. Her mother had run to the market for a few things before Catherine had to leave.

Finishing her tea, she stood and a wave of dizziness immediately washed over her. Chalking it up to not eating much dinner the night before and having no breakfast, Catherine stood and held on to the back of the chair until the feeling passed. She walked to the sink and rinsed out her cup, only to have her stomach roll and lurch. She groaned, gripping the counter for support when Miranda walked into the kitchen.

"All right Mummy?" the little girl asked and Catherine could only shake her head. Miranda walked closer to her mother and took her by the hand. Catherine glanced down at her daughter and Miranda's small brow furrowed. "Your face looks like Rory's did right before he sicked up," she said matter-of-factly. That thought brought another groan from Catherine as she dropped her daughter's hand and dashed for the loo.

After rinsing her mouth out a few minutes later, she emerged from the loo to find Miranda standing and waiting for her.

"You better go to bed, Mummy," Miranda said, pulling on her mother's arm.

"I'm supposed to go to work, Miranda," Catherine protested, but Miranda shook her head.

"You can't go to work when you're sick," the girl insisted. Catherine opened her mouth to reply, but shut it again when the action brought on another bout of nausea.

"Maybe you're right," Catherine sighed. "But I still need to floo-call Madame Pomfrey and tell her I won't be there." She managed to make it into the lounge, but collapsed on the couch once she had reached it. "I'll just rest a minute and then do it," she muttered.

"I can do it Mummy!" Miranda exclaimed, bouncing up and down on her tiptoes. "I remember what to do." Catherine smiled at the 7 year-old.

"Can you reach the floo powder?" she asked and Miranda looked thoughtfully at the mantle, where the pot of floo powder sat, far out of her reach. Then she smiled and ran from the room, leaving Catherine to wonder what she was doing. She returned moments later with a step ladder that her grandmother kept in the cupboard in the hall and set it up near the fireplace.

"Be careful sweetheart," Catherine said as Miranda climbed up a few steps. She reached the pot of powder and carefully climbed back down. "Just a pinch now and make sure you say the name clearly. And close your eyes when you put your face in, otherwise you get dizzy," Catherine instructed.

"Okay, Mummy," Miranda replied. She knelt down in front of the fireplace and tossed in the floo powder. "Poppy Pomfrey, Hogwarts," she called out and then stuck her face in. Catherine watched in amusement as Miranda's hands tightened into fists for a few seconds and then relaxed as she reached the right floo. While she could only hear Miranda's side of the conversation, she seemed to have reached Poppy. After a few minutes, Miranda pulled her head out of the fireplace.

"Madame Pomfrey wants to talk to you," she said.

"All right, back up a bit, so you don't crowd her," Catherine said and Miranda scooted back a foot. Seconds later, Poppy's face appeared in their fireplace.

"Catherine, are you all right?" the matron asked.

"A bit of the stomach flu, I'm afraid," Catherine replied. "I must have caught it from the children." Poppy clucked her tongue and shook her head.

"Let me get you a stomach soother and a fever reducer," Poppy said. "I'll just step through for a moment."

"Oh no, you don't have to," but Catherine trailed off as Poppy disappeared from the fireplace. "Back up Manda, she's going to come through." Miranda jumped up and moved back to the couch near her mother as the medi-witch stepped into the room and waved her wand to get the ash from her robes. She bustled over to Catherine and handed her the two potions which Catherine dutifully drank. She handed the vials back to Poppy as the matron ran a diagnostic over Catherine.

"Poppy, I'm fine, it's just a touch of the flu," Catherine said. "You need to get back to the school."

"Nonsense," Poppy replied. "We need to get you into bed." She began to pull on Catherine's arm and Catherine sighed before getting to her feet. It really was better not to argue and just do what the medi-witch wanted.

They made their way into the hall when the front door opened and Jane stepped inside. Her eyes widened at the sight of her daughter being led to the stairs by another woman, her granddaughter skipping behind. Then the other woman turned and Jane recognized the school nurse.

"Mrs. Powell," Poppy said, giving Jane a smile. "How lovely to see you again."

"Jane, please," Catherine's mother said, returning the smile. "And it's nice to see you as well, Madame Pomfrey. What seems to be the problem?" Before Catherine could even open her mouth to speak, Poppy continued.

"Oh please, you must call me Poppy," she said. "And it seems that Catherine has caught the flu from the children. I've given her the appropriate potions, but she should really be in bed."

"Oh dear," Jane replied. "Let me just set these bags in the kitchen and I'll come and take over." Poppy nodded and then continued to direct Catherine to the stairs. Catherine shook her head. It was bad enough that Poppy was treating her as an invalid, now her mother was going to get in on the act too.

"Poppy, I'm fine, really," Catherine protested when they were halfway up the stairs. Poppy just clucked her tongue again and put her hand on Catherine's back, continued to guide her up the stairs. Catherine rolled her eyes and gave in, knowing that the matron was not going to leave until she was in bed.

They reached Catherine's bedroom and Catherine climbed into bed, while Poppy pulled the covers up over her and tucked her in like she was a child. Catherine would have sighed in exasperation, but she was awfully tired all of a sudden. Just before her eyes closed all together, Catherine forced them open and glared at her mentor.

"You gave me a sleeping draught," she said accusingly.

"Just a mild one," Poppy replied. "You looked as if you could use some sleep."

"Not fair you know," Catherine mumbled before she succumbed to the effects of the potion. Poppy smiled and smoothed Catherine's hair back from her forehead as Jane walked into the room.

"She should sleep for a few hours," Poppy explained and Jane nodded.

"Good," she said. "She certainly needs it."

"I'll come back later with some more potions for her," Poppy said. "Now, I should get back to the school."

"Thank you Poppy," Jane said. "Miranda, can you show Madame Pomfrey out?" she asked her granddaughter who had followed her up the stairs.

"Yes, Grandma," Miranda said, then took Poppy's hand with a smile. "Come on Madame Pomfrey, this way." Jane chuckled as the pair left the room, then sat down on the edge of Catherine's bed. She ran a hand down her daughter's hair, resting it on her back. She shook her head at the paleness of Catherine's face and the dark circles under her eyes. Catherine hadn't told her much when she'd arrived home yesterday. Just that it had something to do with Sirius and that Catherine had failed him somehow. She'd get the story out of her eventually, she knew, but for now, she was more than glad that her daughter was getting some rest.

* * *

Catherine woke up in the early afternoon, still feeling feverish, but her stomach seemed to have calmed down. She rolled to her back and remembered she'd been having the most peculiar dream. Padfoot had been in it, lying at the edge of the Forbidden Forest near Hagrid's hut. He hid behind a tree as Hagrid and Fang came out of the house and went into the forest and then he trotted to the back door and began sniffing. He pawed at the door and whined, seeming to push at it with his shoulder. When the door stayed fast, he hung his head and ambled back into the forest, lying down in the same on his front paws and staring at the back door. It was almost as if he was trying to tell her something, but Catherine couldn't for the life of her figure out what.

"It was just a silly dream," she admonished herself for trying to read anything else into it. She yawned and sat up in bed, closing her eyes and putting a hand to her forehead when it began to pound.

"Catherine what are you doing up?" her mother said as she came into the room.

"I'm not up, Mum," Catherine said. "Not yet anyway."

"Oh no, you're not to be out of bed," Jane scolded, coming over and plumping Catherine's pillows so she could lean back against them. Catherine sighed as she leaned back. Her mother was worse than Poppy. "Do you want anything to eat?" Catherine groaned.

"Please don't mention food," she pleaded. Her mother chuckled.

"How about some broth then and maybe tea?" she asked and Catherine nodded.

"How's Miranda?" she asked.

"Oh, she's just fine," Jane replied. "Back to her old self, I'd say."

"Good," Catherine replied, closing her eyes once more.

"I'll just go and get your tea then," her mother replied, leaving the room. But when Jane returned, Catherine had fallen back asleep, leaning back against the headboard. Jane smiled at her daughter before easing her down and covering her up once more.

* * *

Catherine slept well into the night and woke again with a start sometime before midnight. Something was wrong, she could feel it. Ignoring the dizziness when she stood, Catherine left her room and went into Rory's and then Miranda's checking on both children to make sure they were all right. Then she managed to make it downstairs and crept into her mother's room. Jane was asleep as well, and Catherine sighed in relief, but the feeling of foreboding didn't disappear. What if was Ellie?

Catherine went into the lounge and stopped in front of the fireplace, about to grab the floo powder. She could floo to the infirmary and then find Filius and see if Ellie was all right. Just as she was about to throw the powder into the grate, her mother turned on the light.

"Catherine, what on earth?" her mother asked, shocked at the sight of her daughter in her pajamas standing in front of the fireplace with floo powder in her hand.

"Something's wrong," Catherine said.

"What do you mean, something's wrong?" her mother said.

"I woke up and I could feel that something was wrong. I checked on Rory and Miranda and you and you're all fine, so it must be Ellie," Catherine said, irritated that her mother was delaying her from getting to her daughter.

"Sweetheart, maybe you just had a dream," her mother said placatingly.

"No, I didn't," Catherine insisted. "There's something wrong, I know it." Her mother had been walking across the room and had now reached her and put a hand to her forehead.

"Your fever must have broken," Jane said.

"Mum, I'm fine, but there's something wrong, I have to get to Ellie," Catherine repeated. She turned back to the fireplace, but her mother grasped her arm and turned her back around.

"Catherine, sit down," the older woman said. "Now." She glared at Catherine until Catherine finally complied. She sat down on the edge of the couch, crossing her arms. "Now, just what are you thinking? You're going to go to Hogwarts and check on Ellie? You'll scare the poor child half to death. Not to mention waking everyone up. It's midnight."

"Mum, please, there's something, I just, I have to, I," Catherine's brow furrowed as her voice trailed off. The ominous feeling that had been nagging at her for the last ten minutes seemed to have disappeared. She shook her head, but still the feeling was gone. Catherine glanced up and her mother was looking at her in concern. Catherine shook her head again.

"I don't, I don't feel it anymore," Catherine admitted. Her mother sat down next to her and put a hand on her arm.

"You've been ill and you were exhausted on top of it," her mother said gently. "I'm sure it was just a dream."

"Maybe you're right," Catherine replied, sighing again. She was still awfully tired.

"Come on, let's get you back to bed," Jane said as she stood, holding a hand out to her daughter. Catherine took it and her mother pulled her to her feet, putting an arm around her once she was standing. Catherine leaned on her as the two walked back upstairs to Catherine's bedroom. Catherine climbed into bed and her mum pulled the covers up over her and kissed her cheek.

"Good night dear," her mother said.

"Night, Mum," Catherine replied, yawning. As she sank back towards sleep, Catherine couldn't help wondering just what had woken her and why it all seemed to just disappear so quickly. But she was comforted by that fact that whatever it had been, it must have righted itself and she slipped into unconsciousness once more.

* * *

**7 June 1994**

Catherine awoke early the next morning. The sun was just coming up over the horizon as her eyes fluttered open. She took stock of herself and realized that her stomach felt fine and putting a hand to her head, she thought she felt cool. She turned to her bedside table and found the thermometer her mother had left there and popped it into her mouth. When she looked at it a few moments later, she saw that her temperature was normal and her stomach growled loudly in response.

Grinning, Catherine got out of bed and went into the loo to shower. When she had finished dressing, she felt better than she had in days and she made her way quietly downstairs to fix herself a bit of breakfast. She made tea and decided on porridge, not wanting to test things too soon with bacon and eggs. As she finished her second bowl, her mother came into the kitchen.

"You're up early," her mother said by way of greeting. "Hungry too, I see. You must be feeling better then."

"Yes, much," Catherine admitted.

"So, no other sinister dreams then?" her mother asked, as she poured out her own cup of tea. Catherine looked at her in puzzlement and then remembered her late night foray to the floo.

"No, nothing like that," Catherine said. She put her chin in her hand and tried to focus on what she had been feeling the night before. It had been so strong for a time and then all of a sudden it just vanished. It still bothered Catherine and she decided to check on Ellie later on that day anyway, just to put her mind at ease. Her mother had sat down next to her at the table.

"I think I might go into work today," Catherine said and her mother looked at her disbelievingly.

"I don't think so," Jane finally said.

"Sorry?" Catherine replied.

"Catherine you were very ill yesterday," her mother reminded her. "You can't go back to work already, you need to rest."

"Mum, I feel perfectly fine," Catherine insisted, but her mother shook her head.

"Poppy will agree with me, that much I know," Jane said.

"But I really want to stop in and see Ellie," Catherine protested. "Just to be sure." Her mother covered her hand with her own.

"Catherine," she said quietly. "If anything had happened to Ellie, you know Poppy or Filius would have contacted you. She's fine. I'm sure of it." At Catherine's doubtful expression, she continued.

"Maybe you should just give Remus a call later. I'm sure he could check up on her for you," her mother finished. But Catherine shook her head.

"Last night was the full moon," she reminded her mother. "He'll be tired today. I don't want to disturb him."

"You told me with the Wolfsbane, it doesn't bother him as much, that he gets more sleep," Jane said. "I'm sure by this afternoon, he'll be rested enough."

"I guess you're right," Catherine agreed. In any case, the feeling was gone, as was the urgency behind it. And her mother was right. If anything had happened, someone from the school would have contacted her. The two women finished their tea in companionable silence and then Catherine went to wake her children for school.

* * *

Mid-afternoon, Catherine decided to call Remus. She was fairly positive that everything was all right with Ellie, but it never hurt to check. Calling out for Remus' office, Catherine put her head into the floo and waited. The office was dark and quiet when she reached it. Catherine called Remus' name again, but after a few minutes there was still no answer. Puzzled, she sat back on her heels, keeping her head in the fireplace.

Exams had ended the day before and she was sure that Remus still had many to mark. Her mother was right, with the Wolfsbane, Remus was usually back to his normal self by lunchtime, most months even earlier. It was odd that he wouldn't be here doing his marking. She shrugged her shoulders as she pulled back. Perhaps he'd had a meeting or something.

Catherine was about to get up when she realized she hadn't talked with Poppy about her schedule the following week. Deciding now was as good a time as any, she put her head back into the floo and called for Poppy's office. The matron wasn't there when Catherine looked around, most likely tending to a student. It couldn't hurt to step through for just a few minutes, Catherine reasoned. She pulled back from the floo and then stood, glancing at the clock on the mantel. The children would not be home for over an hour, plenty of time to speak to Poppy. And her mother was out for the afternoon with Fiona MacKenzie, so Catherine didn't bother with a note.

Stepping back into the floo, Catherine whirled through the grates until exiting in Poppy's office. She stepped out into the infirmary and saw that all the beds were empty save one. Back in the corner one of the beds was surrounded by privacy screens, although the medi-witch was nowhere to be seen. After checking the storeroom and finding it empty, Catherine figured Poppy must be with whatever patient was in the bed. She waited a short distance away, not wanting to disturb anyone.

A few moments later, the medi-witch stepped out from behind the screen and before she replaced it, Catherine caught a glimpse of the person in the bed. She gasped and brought a hand to her mouth, hurrying towards Poppy. Poppy held up a hand to forestall her before Catherine could get past the screens.

"He's fine, Catherine," Poppy said.

"What happened? What is he doing here?" Catherine demanded. Poppy sighed and indicated her office. Catherine followed behind her, glancing back towards the screens every few moments. Once they were seated in her office, Catherine noticed that Poppy looked very tired. The older woman rubbed her eyes with her fingers for a few moments and then looked up at Catherine.

"Remus forgot to take the Wolfsbane last night," the medi-witch finally said.

"Forgot?" Catherine asked, completely confused. "How could he forget?"

"I don't know, but when he hadn't come to get his dose, Severus decided to bring it to him. When Severus reached Remus' quarters, Remus wasn't there," Poppy explained.

"Poppy, I'm afraid you're not making much sense," Catherine admitted. The matron leaned forward and took Catherine's hands in hers.

"I don't have many details, no one has seen fit to tell me the whole story and Remus hasn't been awake or coherent long enough to explain it to me," she took a breath and met Catherine's eyes. "Somehow, Remus discovered that Sirius was on the grounds," Poppy continued. She watched Catherine carefully for her reaction, but Catherine was so stunned, she couldn't reply. Poppy continued.

"Remus apparently chased after him and Mr. Potter, Miss Granger and Mr. Weasley were all involved as well. Mr. Weasley, Ron, was injured at some point, a broken leg. I'm not sure how Severus found them exactly, but when he did, he found Sirius as well. He, Mr. Potter and Miss Granger were passed out on the edge of the lake, seemingly from a failed dementor attack." Catherine's brain finally engaged.

"Wh-where is he?" she asked. "Where is Sirius?" Poppy sighed again.

"Severus brought him to the castle and he was being held in Filius' office until Minister Fudge could arrive with the dementors. He was to get the Kiss," but before Poppy could continue, Catherine interrupted.

"No!" she cried, tears instantly forming in her eyes. Poppy gripped her hands tightly.

"I said was, it's all right," Poppy said and Catherine glanced up sharply at her. "Somehow he escaped. I don't know how and neither does anyone else, quite frankly, although Severus barged in here last night with some ridiculous story about Mr. Potter having something to do with it. Honestly, the boy had been attacked by dementors and then never even left the ward." She rolled her eyes. "But Sirius did escape and there's been no trace of him." Catherine took in a gasping breath and Poppy released her hands and pulled her into a hug. When Catherine pulled back, Poppy looked at her in concern.

"I know what the two of you meant to each other once," Poppy said quietly. "And no matter what he's done, the Dementor's Kiss is not something that I would wish on anyone."

"He hasn't done anything Poppy," Catherine replied, her voice still a bit shaky. "He wasn't James and Lily's secret keeper. It was Peter Pettigrew." She lifted her head and looked Poppy in the eye. "And when Sirius went after Peter, the little rat blew up that street full of muggles and faked his own death." Her voice had turned hard.

"Faked his own death?" Poppy asked in confusion. Catherine sighed and ran a hand through her hair. She hadn't meant to tell Poppy any of this. Still, she trusted the matron and she knew that Poppy had always had a soft spot for Sirius.

"What I'm going to tell you can't leave this room," she said and Poppy nodded.

"Of course, Catherine," she agreed.

"Peter Pettigrew was an illegal animagus," she said. "So were Sirius and James. They all did it to help Remus during his transformations." She glanced at Poppy and saw a look of realization pass over her face.

"I never could figure out why Remus' injuries seemed to lessen during his fifth year," she said. "I thought maybe he was just fighting against the wolf less, had become resigned to it or some such, but I expect that's when they worked it out?"

"Yes," Catherine confirmed. "Regardless of what happened between Sirius and me once I left here, when Remus told me what happened I never believed that Sirius had anything to do with it. I just couldn't. Knowing him as I did, I couldn't accept that he had changed so much."

"There were many of us that felt that way," Poppy admitted. "Although most seemed to accept it eventually, even Minerva." Catherine looked at her curiously. Poppy chuckled. "Don't let her stern demeanor fool you, dear. Minerva McGonagall is an old softy. And she had a particularly soft spot for a certain group of Marauder's." Catherine smiled. She had certainly seen the Transfiguration professor's softer side that night in the infirmary.

"But I was never really convinced," Poppy continued. "That boy got in more trouble that any student before or since, although Mr. Potter is certainly giving him a run for his money. But, he wasn't dark. Not like that. An old nurse's opinion doesn't seem to count for much, however." She looked at Catherine sadly and Catherine gripped her hand again. Catherine continued with her tale.

"Well, given a few clues that Remus and I managed to work out, as well as how I felt about the matter, we suspect that James and Lily switched secret keepers from Sirius to Pettigrew. As to the why, I don't know. But we think that Peter was the one that blew up that street and then faked his own death to frame Sirius. He had been living with the Weasley's for the last twelve years as their pet rat," Catherine spat in disgust. Poppy's eyes had widened at the last. The two sat in silence for a few moments, Catherine still seething at Pettigrew's betrayal.

"How is Remus?" she finally asked.

"Cuts and bruises mostly, but they were rather extensive," Poppy sighed. "The only time I saw him worse off was his first transformation after James and Lily were killed. He spent the entirety of the night in the Forbidden Forest and without the Wolfsbane," she trailed off shaking her head. "Hagrid headed into the forest at dawn to find him. He wasn't in far, almost as if the closer to sunrise he got, the more human his mind became and he knew to get back closer to the edge of the forest. I shudder to think what could have befallen him had he transformed back in the heart of the forest, as injured as he was."

"So you've no idea what happened to Sirius then?" Catherine asked quietly and Poppy shook her head regretfully.

"No my dear, I'm sorry," she said.

"And no one else does either? Not even Professor Dumbledore?" Catherine continued, hoping that at least someone knew.

"I daresay Albus knows more than he's telling," Poppy replied. "Merlin knows that man has his hand in just about every cauldron in this castle. But if he does know, he hasn't shared it with anyone." Catherine nodded. It seemed that she had been right when she told Remus that she and Sirius weren't meant to be. There had been too many near misses like this to think otherwise.

"Can I sit with Remus for a bit?" she asked, looking back up at the medi-witch. Poppy frowned at her.

"What are you doing here at all?" Poppy demanded. "You should be home resting."

"Poppy, I'm fine," Catherine insisted. "And I never intended to come through. I called to talk about my schedule for next week, but when you weren't in your office, I decided to pop in for a moment." Poppy clucked her tongue and waved her wand over Catherine in what Catherine recognized was a diagnostic. She quelled the urge to roll her eyes and waited patiently until the matron was finished.

"Well?" Catherine asked, when Poppy did not immediately say anything.

"Oh, you're fine," she huffed and Catherine grinned. "But only for a few minutes, he needs his rest."

"Of course," Catherine agreed. "I'll need to get back anyway. The children will be home soon." Poppy nodded and Catherine left the office.

Catherine made her way to Remus' bedside, looking down at her friend sadly. He was covered with cuts and bruises, although the bruises had already begun to fade. No matter what she thought of Snape personally, he made a mean bruise salve. She sat down in the chair next to Remus' bed, taking his hand in hers.

Her mind wandered back to Sirius. She couldn't believe he had still been here all this time and why he had come back on the grounds last night. She could only thank Merlin that he had escaped instead of being given the Kiss. She wondered where he was now. She wished Remus were awake so that he could explain what happened, then immediately felt guilty as she looked back at him.

She ran a finger lightly down his cheek, grimacing at the large cut on his bottom lip which seemed to almost split it in two. If Sirius had been here and Remus had transformed without the Wolfsbane, she shook her head. It must have been horrible for him.

She glanced at her watch and realized she should probably get back home. Standing she leaned down and pressed a light kiss to Remus' forehead. He stirred and she stepped back, looking at him expectantly. His eyelids fluttered a few times and then opened, taking a moment to focus on her face.

"Catherine," he said, his voice raspy. He grimaced slightly after speaking and Catherine knew the cut on his lip bothered him.

"Shh, Remus," Catherine soothed. "Don't try and talk." Remus ignored her.

"Sirius," he said, his eyes widening and looking at hers frantically.

"Snape caught him, but he escaped before the dementors could give him the Kiss," she explained. "No one knows where he is." Remus visibly relaxed.

"So much," he said, struggling to force the words out. "To tell you."

"Shh," she admonished again. "You need to rest. Poppy's told me the basics, you can give me the details later." She smoothed a lock of hair back from his forehead and he smiled weakly at her. "I've got to get home, Rory and Miranda will be there soon." He nodded and she squeezed his hand, kissing his forehead again. "I'll stop back later tonight?" He nodded again. She smiled and turned to go, but he grabbed her arm.

"I told him," he said, then coughed a few times. Catherine opened her mouth to say something, but Remus shakily held up a hand. "I told him…to find you." Then he took a deep breath and his eyes slowly closed. Catherine stood motionless for a moment before turning and leaving the bed. She waved good-bye to Poppy and then rushed through the floo, hoping that she could compose herself before her children arrived home.

* * *

**A/N2 - All right, so I know in the book, Remus resigns the morning after the full moon and leaves later that day. But, transforming without the Wolfsbane and spending the night in the Forbidden Forest, I hardly think that he would be in good enough shape to pack up and leave right away. Plus, it served my timeline better to delay it by a day. :)**


	33. Home

**A/N - All right, here it is, the last chapter and what you have been waiting for. I hope it lives up to your expectations. This chapter title is inspired by the song Home by Vanessa Carlton. Another note at the end. Enjoy! **

**Chapter 33**

**Home**

**7 June 1994**

Later that evening, Catherine sat at the table in the kitchen, going back over what Remus had said. She'd gone back to Hogwarts after dinner, her mother assuring her that she could get the children to bed on her own just fine. Remus was looking better. The color had returned to his face and he was sitting up in bed, eating a bowl of soup.

He told her what had happened, having been filled in on the events after his transformation by Harry. Remus blamed himself, of course. He felt that if he'd remembered to take the Wolfsbane that Sirius wouldn't have had to leave Peter to try and get Remus under control. Of course, Snape had been unconscious during Peter's confession and refused to even consider the fact that Sirius was innocent.

"Sweet Merlin, if the dementors had gotten to Harry and Hermione and Sirius," Remus had broken off, tears coming to his eyes.

"What time was that?" Catherine asked.

"A bit before midnight, I believe, why?" he replied.

"That explains that then," she muttered, then proceeded to explain her late night premonition that something was wrong. If Remus was surprised, he didn't show it. Then Catherine's mind turned back to the reason for Sirius' rescue and escape.

"A time-turner, Remus?" she asked incredulously. "They trusted a 14 year old girl with a time-turner?" Remus had chuckled.

"Hermione Granger is not like any other 14 year-old girl, believe me," Remus replied with a look of fondness on his face. The look soon turned to regret. "I only wish I could continue to teach them," he said with a sigh and Catherine looked at him sharply.

"What are you on about?" she asked.

"You know that Snape is not going to keep this quiet," Remus replied. "He's been looking for something, anything, to get me out of this castle since the beginning. Transforming on the grounds of the school?" Remus shook his head ruefully. "He won't let that go, nor should he. Last night could have been disastrous had any of the students been wandering the grounds after curfew. I've already given Albus my resignation. As soon as Poppy releases me, I'll be leaving."

"But you can't," Catherine protested. "I've heard the students talking. They all say you're the best Defense teacher they've had."

"Thank you for the compliment, but you know perfectly well that I can't stay," Remus said gently and Catherine sighed.

"It's not fair, you know," she said petulantly.

"No, I suppose it isn't," he agreed. The two sat in silence for a few moments more until Catherine looked up at him once more.

"Did you really tell him to find me?" she asked quietly and Remus took her hand.

"Yes," he answered. "It was just as I started to transform. I had intended to tell him all about you, but obviously I'd run out of time."

"Did he," Catherine stopped and cleared her throat. "Did he say anything?" Remus smiled sadly.

"I don't know," he said. "I'm sorry, but once it starts, without the Wolfsbane, nothing human really makes sense to me." She nodded and looked down at her lap. Remus had squeezed her hand again and she had left shortly after, but not without his promise that he would come and see her once he was released.

Now she sat wondering if Sirius had even heard what Remus had said. If it was just before he began to transform, there was a possibility it had come out garbled and senseless. Catherine sighed and began to rub her temples with her fingertips. She would not get her hopes up, not again.

There was a tapping at the kitchen window and Catherine looked up from the table. Lightning flashed in the sky illuminating the garden for a moment, and she was startled to see an owl flapping outside. She stood and went to the window, opening it so the bird could fly in. He landed on the counter and held out his leg, rather impatiently, Catherine thought wryly. She frowned, wondering who he belonged to. It wasn't Maia and didn't look like a school owl either. She pulled the small, grubby piece of parchment from the owl's leg and he flew off immediately. Catherine relatched the window, then unrolled the scroll of parchment. On it were written only a few words.

_The park - 10:00_

Catherine's heart began to pound in her chest. It couldn't be, could it? She glanced at the clock above the stove. 9:30. A part of her wanted to throw the parchment away, to not get her hopes up only to have them be dashed once again. But the rest of her, the much larger part thrummed with anticipation and hope, need and want. If there were even a chance, no matter how small, she had to go.

Catherine ran to her mother's room. Her mother was not yet asleep, she was sitting up in her bed watching the telly.

"Mum, I'm going out for a bit," Catherine said. "Keep an ear out for the kids?"

"Where on earth are you going at this hour?" Jane asked.

"Just for a walk," Catherine said evasively. Jane turned and looked out her window, then back at Catherine, a look of incredulity on her face.

"Catherine, it's about to storm," Jane exclaimed. "You can't go out now."

"Mum, I have to," Catherine replied. "Please, just listen for the kids." She moved to leave the room, but Jane stood and grabbed her arm.

"Catherine Victoria, you will tell me what you are up to this instant," Jane demanded. Catherine gaped at her mother.

"Last time I checked, I wasn't twelve years old," Catherine said quietly, her eyes narrowing.

"And the last time I checked, I was still your mother," Jane replied evenly.

"Mum, please," Catherine begged. Jane's expression did not change and finally Catherine sighed and handed her the note. Jane read it, her brow furrowing in confusion and then seconds later, her eyes widened in realization. "I have to go Mum, I have to know."

"Catherine, are you sure?" Jane asked, concerned about her daughter's heart being broken once again. Catherine had filled her in on the story that Remus had told her once she had gotten home, so Jane wasn't concerned for her safety. "He's on the run, Catherine. He might always be unless they catch this Pettigrew person."

"I don't care Mum," Catherine replied. "I just, I need to see him. I need to know. Please." Jane sighed.

"Please be careful," Jane said in concern.

"I will, I promise," Catherine said, giving her mother a quick hug. She ran into her room and grabbed her wand off her nightstand. As she reached the front door, she realized it had started to sprinkle, so she took her raincoat from the cupboard and pulled it on as she left the house, putting her wand into the pocket.

She only had ten minutes to get to the park, so Catherine took off at a run, the wind whipping her hair into a frenzy around her head. Irritated, Catherine pulled her hair off her face and twisted it into a knot, securing it with a quick spell. She yanked up the hood of her raincoat, trying to keep her hair contained underneath it. She ran around the final corner and stopped short at the sight of the park in front of her. She slowed her steps and tried to get her breathing under control as she walked toward the swings.

Her heart was still racing, threatening to burst out of her chest. She looked around the park as she walked further into it, but saw no one. There was a loud clap of thunder and Catherine jumped at the sound, pulling her wand and whirling around. Her face reddened as she realized how jumpy she was and she forced herself to take a deep breath, sticking her wand back into her pocket.

She turned in a slow circle, searching the entirety of the park and still saw nothing. Sighing, she sat down on one of the swings and idly pushed herself back and forth with the toe of one foot. She looked down at the ground. Something must have happened and he wasn't coming. Her heart clenched hoping that he hadn't been captured or hurt or worse.

There was another loud clap of thunder and she looked up. Just after the thunder, lightning illuminated the entire park and there he was, standing on the other side of the park staring at her. Catherine gasped and sat frozen on the swing, unable to move. As she watched, he slowly began to walk toward her and when he was halfway, Catherine finally stood and took a tentative step in his direction.

She took one step and then another and then she was running towards him. They met in the middle of the park and they both stopped, staring at each other. The rain was coming down harder now and small rivulets of water ran down his sunken cheeks. He was thin, thinner than she'd ever seen him, his hair wild and matted, his skin dull and lifeless. But his eyes, his eyes were the same, the grey unending in its depth. But then they too shifted and they were different, one minute hard and bitter and the next guilt and pain-filled.

"You came," he said, his voice cracking.

"I did," she answered, standing unwavering under his steadfast gaze. They stood awkwardly for a few moments, looking at each other, both wondering just what to do now that they were here together. Catherine knew what she wanted to do. She wanted to throw her arms around him and never let him go. She wanted to kiss him and touch him and just feel again. The locket around her neck seemed to burn into her chest the longer she stared at him, but still she waited.

Finally, slowly, Sirius brought a hand up toward her face, as if he were giving her a chance to flee. When she stood fast, he ran a finger down her cheek and she shivered, instinctively leaning into his hand. When his finger reached her jaw, he let it fall slowly and shook his head, as if he had no right to touch her. She immediately missed the contact. She looked back up at him and stared into his eyes and he into hers before she tentatively raised a hand to his face. When she laid her hand on his cheek, he flinched and Catherine realized it was probably the first time he'd been touched in over 12 years. The thought made her want to sob.

She stared at him for a moment longer and then she stepped forward, standing on her tiptoes. She kissed him, the barest brushing of lips, just as their first kiss had been. He pulled back, surprised, then hugged her tightly and she melted into his body, tucking her head under his chin as she always had, the two of them fitting together like two pieces of a puzzle. And the awkwardness instantly fell away as she listened to his heart beating in his chest. She was home, here in his arms. Home.

Catherine had no idea how long they stood there, wrapped in each other's embrace, but eventually he pulled back from her, looking into her eyes again, his hands on either side of her face.

"I'm sorry," Sirius said. "I'm sorry for everything I put you through. I lied to you, that day. There was never anyone else, there never could be, I," but before he could continue, Catherine put a finger to his lips.

"Remus told me," she said. "And I never really believed it, not completely. I know why you did what you did. I've already forgiven you." He stared at her then and she lost herself in his gaze, drowning in the eyes that she never thought she would see again.

"I wasn't sure if you would be here," he continued after a few moments. "If you, if you still." He broke off, looking down at the ground, but Catherine put a hand to his chest and he glanced up.

"Always," she said. "I never stopped." He looked at her for another minute and then he was kissing her, properly this time, and Catherine felt a sob well up in her chest at how much she had missed this, missed him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and his tangled in her hair, pushing the hood of her jacket back and pulling her hair from the knot she had twisted it into. The rain cascaded down on them, but they were both oblivious to it, lost in each other and the rediscovery of all that they had lost. When they parted, Catherine realized she was crying, her tears mixing with the rain running down her face. She pulled in a hitching breath and took his hand, pulling him toward her house, intending to bring him home and never let him go again.

But he stopped her, pulling back. She looked back at him curiously.

"I can't go with you," he said. "It's too dangerous. If they catch me here, they'll send you to Azkaban too."

"Sirius, you're in the middle of a muggle neighborhood, there are no witches or wizards for miles," she said. "No one's going to catch you. Besides, no one ever knew about us except Remus and Myra. Who would think to look for you here?"

"Celia knew," Sirius said his voice hard. "That bitch always knew."

"I know, but she hasn't been able to find me yet," Catherine said. "And besides, Myra told me she's gone completely mad. Her parents warded her into their house." Sirius didn't respond, just continued to look at her. "Please, come with me. At least stay for a few days, rest, eat, clean yourself up."

"No," he said, letting go of her hand. She sighed and turned back to him.

"Sirius, it's cold and I'm soaking wet," she said. "And I'm sure that my mother is pacing the floor."

"You still live with her?" he asked.

"I live with her again," Catherine replied. "I haven't always." She shivered and pulled her hood back up, as the rain ran dripped down her back. Sirius took her hand again and pulled her toward the copse of trees on the far side of the park. She followed, not saying anything and just as they reached the tree line, he turned back to her.

"What do you remember about hippogriffs?" he asked. She raised an eyebrow at him and then remembered. Harry had told Remus that Sirius had escaped on a hippogriff. One that was slated for execution, as a matter of fact. She sighed.

"Ah, yes, your infamous escape method," she said dryly and he looked at her in surprise.

"How did you know that?" he asked.

"Remus," she said shrugging. "Harry told him."

"Remus," Sirius breathed. "Is he all right?"

"A bit banged up, but he'll be fine," she replied. "So hippogriffs."

"Yes, Buckbeak actually," he said. "So, what do you remember?"

"Bow and wait, maintain eye contact," Catherine said mechanically.

"Knew there was a reason you were in Ravenclaw," Sirius said grinning and Catherine saw the old Sirius for just a moment. "Come on." He led her into the trees and Catherine was happy that they at least offered some shelter from the rain, which was now pouring down. When she looked up, there was a hippogriff standing about ten feet from her. Catherine immediately bowed, staring into his eyes. Buckbeak stood and cocked his head, contemplating her. After a few agonizingly long seconds, Buckbeak also bowed and Catherine let out the breath she had been holding and stood, smiling. She tentatively held out a hand and the hippogriff leaned forward rubbing his beak against it.

Once he had been greeted properly, Buckbeak went back to his foraging in the trees. He had apparently found a rabbit or some other small animal carcass and Catherine shivered a bit before turning away from the sight. Sirius was staring at her, his brow furrowed in concentration and she suddenly felt very self-conscious. She had only been 16 the last time he'd seen her and now she was over 30. He was older too, of course, but besides the changes brought about by spending twelve years in Azkaban, Catherine didn't think he looked all that different. She shivered again, this time from being wet, and Sirius seemed to come out of his reverie.

"Do you have your wand?" he asked.

"Of course," she said, pulling it from her pocket and casting drying charms on both she and Sirius.

"May I?" he asked reaching out his hand. She nodded and gave him her wand and he cast a scourgify on himself. It marginally helped his rather ragged appearance, but not by much. The clothes were still tattered and worn, but at least they and he were clean now. He then pointed her wand towards the tree line and muttered a few more spells, then handed the wand back to her.

"Wasn't sure I'd still be able to do it," he mused.

"It's like riding a bicycle, I suppose," she said. "You never really forget." He smiled then looked back at the ground, his earlier nervousness apparently returning. Catherine stepped forward and placed a hand on his arm. He glanced up at her and she smiled. Then he held out an arm to her and she stepped back into his embrace. When his arms wrapped back around her, she sighed in contentment.

"Aren't you even the least bit worried that I really did what they accused me of?" he asked after a few moments. She looked up at him as if he were daft or mad or both.

"I never believed it, not after everything I read in the Prophet or after everything that Remus told me," Catherine said. "I know you would never betray James and Lily. You would never turn dark, never." Sirius looked at her in surprise and she stood up on her tiptoes and kissed him again. "I know you Sirius. And besides, Remus and I figured it all out before last night. And he told me everything that happened when you found the rat." She spat the last and Sirius smirked at her.

"I love you," he said, cupping her face in his hands, resting his forehead against hers. "I never stopped." And then she was crying again and he was kissing her tears from her cheeks. She clung to him, never wanting to let him go, wanting to stay right here in the park, forever. But she had children and a mother, who, she was sure, was on the verge of the calling the police by now. She pulled back from him as he wiped the last of the tears from her face.

"I have to get back," she said regretfully. "Please, come with me."

"I can't," he said, shaking his head. She stared at him for a minute, then nodded in resignation.

"All right," she said. "Stay here, I'll be back in a little while."

"Where are you going?" he asked confused.

"I'm going home to get you some food and some clothes and to stop my mother from calling Scotland Yard to come and find me," she said, matter-of-factly. "I'll be back as soon as I can." She kissed him quickly on the cheek and then walked away before he could argue with her.

* * *

She hurried home and sure enough, her mother was pacing in the entry when Catherine walked in.

"Oh Catherine, thank god," her mother said.

"I'm fine, Mum," Catherine assured her.

"So, was he there?" Jane asked and Catherine nodded, the tears returning. Her mother stepped forward and hugged her, rubbing her back soothingly. Catherine calmed herself quickly and then pulled back from her mother.

"I promise I'll tell you everything Mum, but I just need to get a few things and bring them back," Catherine explained. "He's waiting for me."

"What things?" Jane asked, her brow furrowing.

"He needs something to eat first off, but some clothes too. I know you kept some things of Dad's. They were pretty close to the same size," Catherine looked at her mother, her hand nervously moving up to twist into her hair.

Jane studied her daughter. She was nervous, yes, and Jane could tell that not everything had been settled between Catherine and Sirius, nor did she expect it to have been after 15 years. But there was something else there, something that Jane hadn't seen for a very long time. And if she were honest, it was something that she hadn't seen since Sirius had left Catherine the first time. Jane knew all about their break-up, about what Sirius had said to convince Catherine not to pursue him and a part of her was still angry about that. He had hurt her daughter beyond measure. But, when she had found out the reason for it, Jane couldn't help but be just a tiny bit grateful. Catherine's life hadn't been perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but she was still alive and well and had given Jane her three beautiful grandchildren. And so it was with all these thoughts in mind that Jane smiled at her daughter.

"Of course dear, I'll just go and get a few things, shall I?" Catherine smiled widely and hugged her mother once again.

"Thanks, Mum," she said quietly and then walked into the kitchen to gather some food.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, Catherine was on her way back to the park, a knapsack on her back. She'd packed as much food as she had that wouldn't spoil, as well as brought Sirius leftovers from their dinner that night. Her mother had brought down two sets of clothes, as well as a jacket, the only thing missing was a pair of shoes. He'd have to make do with the ones he had for now. Catherine had added a light blanket and a few toiletries, matches and a small penknife. She'd put a small bag of galleons, which also contained some pounds, into the bottom of the bag underneath the blanket. He would find it eventually, but Catherine knew that if she told him about it, he would refuse the money. Catherine had no idea where he was headed or what he planned to do, but she wasn't about to let him starve to death. And in her pocket was a pair of scissors. He'd always worn his hair long, but the length of it now was ridiculous, not to mention how matted it was. Catherine intended to give him a good trim before he left.

When she reached the park she slowed, her heart starting to beat a bit faster in her chest. She turned back to her last thought and realized that Sirius would indeed need to get out of the UK as soon as possible in order to avoid being arrested. Just when they had found each other again, he was going to have to leave. Catherine almost broke into tears once more, but took a deep breath and straightened her shoulders instead. If they only had tonight then Catherine wasn't going to ruin it by crying the entire time.

She reached the copse of trees and saw Sirius leaning up against the trunk of a tree, Buckbeak seemingly asleep at his side. Sirius opened his eyes and smiled at her. She smiled back and sat down next to him, setting the knapsack to her side for the moment. He wrapped an arm around her and she snuggled into his side. They sat there for a time, until she felt Sirius staring at her.

"What?" she asked.

"I still can't believe you're here," he replied. "That we're sitting here together. When they took me away, I hoped, but I never thought," he trailed off and Catherine kissed him softly. She had just leaned back into his side when she heard his stomach rumble. She smirked and sat up, turning to the bag she had brought. She pulled out the leftovers from their dinner, along with a fork and napkin. She warmed the food with a quick spell and handed him the container. He opened it and sniffed appreciatively, then attacked the food with a vengeance Catherine hadn't seen since her Hogwarts days. When he had finished, Catherine took the container back and then pulled the scissors from her pocket.

"Turn around," she said and he looked at her in confusion. "Your hair," she explained. "I want to cut it for you." He eyed the scissors warily.

"Can't you just use a severing charm?" he asked.

"I could, but I haven't had much practice with those lately," she said. "I suppose if you don't mind risking it though." She shrugged and pulled her wand from her pocket.

"No, no, the scissors are fine," Sirius said quickly and Catherine chuckled. He turned then and she quickly trimmed his hair to his shoulders. She cut all her children's hair regularly, something she'd neglected to mention, of course. But it felt so normal just to tease him again that she couldn't help it.

"Finished," she said and he reached and ran a hand down the back of his head. "Now hold still." He turned to look back at her as she drew her wand and his eyes widened. "Trust me," she said smirking. He looked at her for a few more moments then sighed and turned his head once more. Catherine whispered the charm under her breath, moving her wand down his hair as if she were using a comb. It was one she had found in a book of household spells and had been using to tame Miranda's unruly mop ever since. After a few minutes Sirius' hair was smooth and free from snarls and knots.

"Now, you look much more presentable," she said as he turned to face her once again. "Just one more thing." She dug through the knapsack and pulled out a shirt and a pair of trousers. Sirius glanced at her and then at the clothes in her hand. He ran a hand nervously through his hair before taking them from her and then walked a bit further into the trees to change.

Catherine watched him go, her own face a bit red. He'd never been afraid to change in front of her before, but she was a bit glad that he had made the decision he did. It had been 15 years after all. Things couldn't go back to the way they had been so quickly.

"Thank you," he said when he returned and she nodded. He sat back down next to her in the grass. "I don't have much time," he said regretfully. "It's better if Buckbeak and I travel at night. Too hard to hide from muggles during the daytime." Catherine nodded, her throat tight. "But, I need to know. Why do you live with your parents?"

"Just my mother," Catherine corrected. "My father died nine years ago." She took a deep breath. "I was married, but things ended badly and I needed to leave, so my mother offered to have us come and live with her."

"You have children," he said. "A girl and a boy?" Catherine startled.

"Two girls and a boy actually," she finally replied. "But how did you know that?"

"I saw you at Hogwarts before the Gryffindor and Ravenclaw quidditch match," he said.

"That _was_ you," she breathed and he looked at her quizzically. "I thought I saw Padfoot on the edge of the Forbidden Forest that day. But I convinced myself I was seeing things." They sat in silence for a moment until Sirius spoke again.

"Your … husband," he finally managed.

"Ex-husband," she corrected.

"Ex-husband," he repeated. "Anyone I know."

"No, he was a muggle," Catherine answered. Sirius seemed to relax at that and he nodded.

"Your children, are they magical then?" he asked and Catherine smiled.

"All three," she replied. "That's what ended my marriage actually. I hadn't told him I was a witch before we married." Sirius looked at her in confusion. "It's a much longer story than we have time for." He nodded then and looked off into the trees for a moment.

"Catherine, I," he trailed off and looked down at his lap. "Never mind."

"No, tell me please," she said, putting a hand to his arm.

"No, it's not fair of me to drop back into your life like this knowing that I'm just going to have to leave again," he replied shaking his head.

"Sirius, I don't care about that," she insisted. "We'll figure something out."

"I'm on the run Cat," he said and the nickname made her heart catch in her throat. "I have no idea for how long or how far away I'll have to go. I have no idea when we'll see each other again. I don't want you to live like that. I can't ask you to wait for me."

"You're not asking," she said and took his hand in hers. "I realize that things are going to be difficult and that we may not see each other much. But I love you Sirius Black and I'll be damned if I'm going to let you leave me again." He shook his head, but she put her hands on either side of his face and forced him to look at her.

"Listen to me," she said. "When you left me it very nearly broke me." He opened his mouth to say something but she put a finger to his lips. "But I recovered from that and I moved on to a different life. But it was never the life I wanted. I managed to fool myself into thinking it was and after my children came along, well, they are everything to me and I would never change that part of things. But I never, ever stopped loving you Sirius. That part of my heart that belonged to you, I locked it up and hid it away, but it was always there." She took one of her hands away from his face and fumbled around her neck until she caught hold of the locket chain. Sirius pulled in a breath as she pulled it out from the inside of her shirt. She dropped her other hand and pulled out her wand, then tapped the locket and said the charm. The two younger figures of Catherine and Sirius appeared on the ground in front of them.

"Do you remember what I said to you that night up on the tower?" she asked. "I told you that there would never be anyone else for me, that it would always be you." They two of them watched the image until Sirius reached over and took her hand in his. She glanced up at him and then he leaned forward and kissed her, just as the image Sirius kissed the image Catherine. They pulled apart long enough for Catherine to cancel the charm and then Sirius pulled her back into his arms.

"I can't tell you how many times I almost came back," he whispered in her ear and she felt drops of moisture on the side of her face. She looked up at him and there were tears making their way down his cheeks. She reached a hand up to his face and gently wiped them away and he caught her fingers in his hand and kissed the tips of them.

"I was less than half of myself after," he said, his voice strained. "I don't really remember much from those first few months. It wasn't until Harry came that I felt anything at all again."

"Children have a way of doing that to you," she said quietly, tilting her head up and kissing him softly. He ran a hand up and down her back and kissed her temple. And then he suddenly pulled her tightly to him and hugged her fiercely.

"I'm so sorry that I left you," he whispered. "I'm so sorry that I made you suffer. I'm so sorry." And then she had wrapped her arms around him and was rocking him back and forth and whispering soothing words to him. When he had finally quieted, he pulled away from her and cupped her cheek in his hand.

"I don't want to hurt you again," he said.

"Then let me make my own decision this time," she admonished gently. He looked at her for a moment and then nodded. "I will wait for you Sirius Black. Even if it takes forever, I'll wait. Because I love you."

"I failed you once. I failed you and James and Lily and Remus and Harry. But I swear to you that I won't do it again," he replied, his eyes glowing fiercely with determination. "I love you Catherine Powell and I always will." Then he pulled her to him again and kissed her. He wound his hands in her hair as the kiss deepened and Catherine lost herself. She wasn't sure how far things would have progressed had Buckbeak not interrupted them with a sleepy snort.

Pulling away from each other and breathing heavily, Catherine reddened as she readjusted her clothes and Sirius ran a hand through his hair, sheepish grin on his face. When they had both sufficiently recovered, he put a hand to her cheek once more.

"I've got to go," he said regretfully. She nodded, not trusting herself to speak. Sirius stood and roused Buckbeak. The hippogriff raised his wings and flapped them a time or two as if stretching and readying himself for the flight ahead.

"Where will you go?" Catherine asked, as Sirius pulled the knapsack onto his back. He shrugged.

"I'm not entirely positive, but it's better if you don't know, at any rate," he said. She sighed and stepped closer to him.

"Are you sure you won't stay just for a day or two?" she pleaded, looking up at him with sad eyes. He cupped her cheek and smiled sadly at her.

"You don't know how close I am to saying yes, but I can't put you in that position," he said. "I'm sure they'll be questioning Remus and Albus and anyone else from my past that they can find. If they do somehow find out about you, I would never forgive myself if I got you into trouble." She nodded in understanding.

"My children aren't the best at keeping quiet about things either," she admitted and Sirius chuckled.

"I hope I can meet them someday," he said quietly.

"You will," she replied with determination. "You know that Remus and I aren't going to rest until your name has been cleared."

"The two of you need to be careful," Sirius admonished. "The current climate is very much against me. Remus has enough of his own problems, I don't want either of you targeted because you're trying to help me."

"Will you write?" she asked. "Whenever you get where you're going?"

"I'll try," he promised and then leaned down and kissed her one last time. He hugged her and then walked toward Buckbeak who knelt down and let Sirius swing up onto his back. "I love you," he said, once he had settled himself onto the hippogriff's back. She nodded, her eyes filling.

"I love you too," she whispered. "So much." They looked at each other for a few more moments and then Sirius clucked his tongue to Buckbeak. Catherine stood back as the hippogriff began to run and flap his wings. After a few feet he launched himself into the air. Sirius waved and Catherine returned it, then stood as the rain slowly tapered off and watched until the two were nothing more than a tiny dot in the air. She stood in the park for a few minutes more, as the tears ran down her face. And then, she pulled in a deep breath, squared her shoulders and began to walk back towards her house. She made a silent promise to Sirius and herself that she would do everything in her power to track down Peter Pettigrew and make him pay for what he had done.

**The End**

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**A/N2 - So that's it for this story. I want to thank everyone who read, alerted, favorited and most of all those that reviewed. Feedback is the best gift you can give a writer and I thank those of you that took the time to give it, especially those that reviewed almost every chapter! The sequel is in the works, as I've said before. I plan on taking a week off now to get a bit further ahead and my plan is to begin posting a week from Tuesday, Feb. 5th. The new story still does not have a name, but it will cover Harry's 4th and 5th years for sure, possibly more, I haven't decided as of yet. So if you have any title suggestions, let me know! If you want an email when the new story has been posted, put me on author alert or just check back on my profile on the 5th. See you in a couple of weeks and thank you all again! **


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